Chapter 1: Standing Up
Hey there! Amy Rose here! Depending on what you've heard about me, I'm anything between a spunky young lady with unshakeable drive and fiery determination, an adorable aficionado of hammers that really pack a punch, and… especially a hopeless romantic who never gives up in her quest to lock down the one, the only, the 'Blue Blur' himself, Sonic the Hedgehog, as her preordained soulmate. And you know what? You'd be right on the money with every last one of those! Well, at least until recently on that last part… I mean, I've been absolutely, head-over-heels, nose opened, heart-poundingly SMITTEN with the guy since the day we met. And I've never been shy about letting my feelings be known to the world, and especially to him. I was okay with not having him yet, thinking that he was just playing hard to get, or that he was just being shy about how he really feels about me.
But… after so much time—years, in my case—of aggressively chasing after someone you love like you've got a plunger stuck to your forehead with a cookie on the other end of it that's always JUST out of your reach… you get tired of chasing. You eventually recognize how consumed your life is by the chase, which then makes you realize how much of the rest of your life you put on the backburner for the sake of what eventually turns from a simple, innocent crush… to an unhealthy obsession. It… certainly doesn't help when the person who makes your heart flutter, your thoughts spiral into a lovestruck frenzy, and your entire body to instantly heat up like a mighty inferno of boundless romantic affection all at once… regularly finds his own special ways to totally kill ANY momentum you think you have, and then is completely oblivious to how much his actions hurt your feelings. Even better when you recognize the object of your affection never gives ANY indication that he thinks of you the same way you think of him, no matter how long you've known each other…
As they say, though, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time. That was my 'love life' in a nutshell, and boy, did it take me a LONG time to come to grips with that… and I've got no one to blame but myself. It's like being on a train to paradise, but the train keeps breaking down, getting delayed, or somehow going farther BACKWARD than it is forward. At some inevitable point, you're gonna get sick of it and ask to get off the train to take your chances finding a different way to travel… even if you end up walking through a series of long, empty dirt roads completely alone without so much as a map or a compass. It's still better than dealing with the endless frustration and disappointment of letting people sell you on empty promises and false visions of progress, ya might tell yourself. And before you ask what I mean, and as long as you've got the time, I'll enlighten you. It all started here, at this exclusive, fancy eatery at which Sonic and I were supposed to be on a date…
"…D'oh, I can't believe he could be this late… AGAIN…! He promised he would be punctual this time…!" I griped as I sat alone at an outside table for two on a bright, starry night. I was dressed in a fancy, glittery purple dress with a matching handbag, alabaster elbow gloves, and black heels, as well as a full face of the most stunning makeup I owned. I was patiently waiting for my 'date' to show up to the most expensive restaurant in Station Square for a dinner we planned three months ago. And I told him to be here PRECISELY at 6:00 PM! He could've at least shot me a text saying he was running behind... or, y'know, responding to the THIRTY-SEVEN I sent him, as well as the eight missed phone calls… And as I sat here staring at my smartphone, sipping on my fourth glass of water, and anxiously tapping my finger on the wooden table…
"Madame, you have been sitting here for the last three and a half hours," a concerned deep-voiced human waiter graciously reminded me as he held up a tray of entrees for a table adjacent to mine. "Are you sure I cannot get you started with an appetizer by now?" he asked me for what had to be the ninth time tonight as he kept himself busy serving the other patrons. "At this point, the appetizer would be on the house. Otherwise, the kitchen will close in another hour."
"No, sir, I'll be fine. Thanks for the offer, though. At this point, I'm still just… waiting for my date," I tried my best to assure, though the waver in my voice as I broke eye contact was a dead giveaway. And at that point, the waiter turned to me after he finished serving the other table.
"Ms. Rose, this is the fifth time in a row you've waited here all night for him, only for him to never show…" the waiter reminded me as though the disappointment didn't sting me enough. Oh, wait. No. There was an even bigger sting that came when I glanced to the side and noticed some people at another table looking at me, pointing, and laughing amongst themselves…
"I… I know…" was all I could reply with as I tried to ignore the other guests and keep from losing my composure.
"How many more chances will you give him before you've had enough?" the waiter asked as he did the surprising thing of sitting in the chair across from me that was supposed to be reserved for a certain someone else. "I grow more concerned for you with every time you come here, all dolled up with that infectious grin on your face… only to watch it slowly fade into a crestfallen frown as the night passes by with you hardly nibbling on anything but bread for hours on end."
"I… I get that it looks bad, but Sonic hasn't been standing me up. I swear, he hasn't," I defended, though it should probably come as no surprise that the waiter didn't believe me. "He's just… really busy all the time. He… he always makes up for it, though…" I added, though I… wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him or myself as I cast my eyes down toward the table.
"In what way? An 'I'm sorry,' followed by another date plan and promise that he inevitably ends up flaking on?" he dug in and questioned some more, surprising me a bit as I looked back at him.
"H-hey! Don't talk about my Sonic like that! You've got the wrong idea about him!" I angrily stood my ground, though I felt my heart sink into my stomach in that same moment.
"My apologies," the waiter coolly offered as he raised his hands up like he was being stopped by the police. After a second, though, he cleared his throat, ran his hand through his wavy salt-and-pepper hair, and said… "I'm merely making an observation. It's just that you've come here so often, and not once have I seen you leave happy… Even when Mr. Sonic has appeared on previous occasions, he is often extremely late. Ironic for the fastest thing alive, don't you think?"
"True…" I muttered. VERY true is what I meant to say, though. Like seriously, Sonic can run around the ENTIRE WORLD in a single day, if not less… and yet, he can't be bothered to be on time for one lousy date at a restaurant not even an hour away from where he lives!? Gahh, that's maddening!
"Indeed. Mind you, he treats it as a minor inconvenience as though you hadn't been sitting, eagerly awaiting him for what you always say will be the perfect date." And as much as I didn't want to believe him… he was right. He… He was absolutely right…! This… this happens ALL THE TIME with Sonic…
"…Have we been here THAT many times?" I dared to ask, fighting through my fear of embarrassing myself to do so.
"Your name has appeared in our reservation book eight different times in the last year… and seventeen over the last two years since I started working here. So, yes," the waiter informed me as he grabbed my hand and clasped it in between his. "Look… I'm going to tell you something I think you've needed to hear for a while, because this has gone on long enough. Consider it advice from a friend." And as much as I wanted to pull my hand away and tell this guy to stop prying into my business… I… I didn't have the nerve for it this time. I took one good look into his bright hazel eyes and read the absolute worry in his peach-skinned, mustached face… and before I knew it, a tear had run down my cheek. A knot had formed in my throat. My mind went blank as my body heated up with a mixture of feelings… sadness… anger… regret… and…
"…Y-yeah?" I permitted him to share his insight, even though I really didn't want to hear the truth… but, as soon as I gave the go-ahead…
"There comes a time when you recognize that some things you want, no matter how fast you run, or how high you jump, or how long you wait… simply won't come," he solemnly told me as I sat across the table, wide-eyed as I stared at him. "You reach a point where you have to look at the things you've done to claim something as your own, look at the results you've gotten, and either keep trying the same or some variation of the same thing if you haven't gotten what you want… or recognize that it's time to leave it be and find other goals to achieve."
"What… What are you trying to say…?"
"That, as much as you say you love Sonic the Hedgehog, you would do best to understand the nature of your relationship with him… and the way he treats you in comparison to how you treat him… and especially how many times you've tried to spend quality time with him or get his attention, only for him to leave you high and dry with hardly a valid explanation for why he doesn't appear when you want him to," the waiter kept laying it on.
"…But he loves me. I just know he does, deep down. Yes, he can be forgetful at times, and yes, he can be a bit naïve, and yes, he's flat-out blown me off a few times before, but he means well," I tried once again to defend my future husband. "If he didn't, he wouldn't even bother setting up these dates with me, or talking to me when we meet casually, or even keeping in touch with me between times of us working together to protect the world. And he's never outright said 'No' to the idea of us hanging out more often to get to know each other… We… We're destined to be together, he and I…"
"Funny you should say that…"
"Why?"
"The thing about destiny, Ms. Rose, is that no one truly has control over it. If something's meant to happen, it'll happen regardless of how much or how little hope you pour into it. And no one has the ability to choose someone else's destiny for them. Sonic, as far as we understand, was destined to be a hero. And he fulfills that destiny every time the world comes into danger and calls for his help. If he was destined to be your lover, then he would already have recognized his feelings for you without you needing to try and force him to see it when he doesn't. And there would certainly be no need for you to make excuses for his lack of consideration toward you."
"…Oh… That's… that's true…" was all I could manage to say as I choked back tears and lowered my head…
"I… I don't mean to tell you this to hurt your feelings, Ms. Rose. I would just rather you not continue to subject yourself to this torment of chasing someone who, as far as we've seen, has not made it clear that he wants you. Especially not after so long. You deserve better than this…" he shared… and that last bit… it broke me. It broke me like glass being smashed with a sledgehammer… and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I fell into a spell of crying like I'd just lost my favorite pet. The waiter stopped talking at that point and had offered me a napkin to dry my eyes with. And while I tried to rein myself back in, his words kept ringing in my head…
Was it true…? Was it POSSIBLE…? That… that Sonic didn't love me? That I've been wasting my time on a dream that had no realistic chance of coming true…? I… I didn't want to even fathom it. But… this waiter, who had been a witness to my countless disappointments and embarrassments just from within the vicinity of this restaurant… he had a point. A point that I was finally ready to accept… and just as I had accepted that point, a sudden, windy boom filled the air for a split second. And just as the wind dissipated, a certain blue hedgehog came strolling into the dining area. He… he finally showed up. But I was the farthest thing from happy to see him…
"Hey, Amy! Sorry I'm late. Whoo, boy, I'm starving! I sure hope you ordered those cheesy-changa chili dogs for me," my happy-go-lucky, carefree 'date' happily announced as he confidently strutted past the other tables, not at all paying attention to the diners staring at him from every angle. He simply wore that confident, world-famous smirk he always did as he made a beeline for my table. He… he really DIDN'T care…! And that just burned me to cinders inside…! The waiter let go of my hand and got up from the seat to excuse himself, though he patted me on the shoulder before he went back to doing his job. All I could do in that moment was sulk as I contemplated just getting up and going home… and as a matter of fact… that's exactly what I did. Of course, Sonic was quick to assume I was getting up for a different reason as he playfully flinched and raised his hands to guard himself. "Whoa, hey! Let's save the mushy P.D.A. for another time, Ames. We don't wanna cause another… Eh…?" he was about to make a joke, but he stopped as soon as he watched me walk right past him without even making eye contact as I hung my head low to hide my shame and frustration with him. "Um… Amy? Where ya goin'?"
"…I'm going home," was all I had to say to him as I kept on walking. Other guests continued to stare at me like I grew an extra leg on my forehead, but I didn't care. I was so OVER this…! So over this nauseating, headache-inducing emotional pain… So over being stood up, blown off, and disrespected… So over being disregarded and humiliated by the hedgehog I loved… or, the hedgehog I thought I loved… I've had enough. The 'chase' had finally lost its thrill…
"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he tried to ask as he ran after me to try and stop me.
"Don't talk to me, Sonic. I'm done…!" I declared, a fresh wave of tears forming in my eyes as I picked up the pace and reached the front gate of the restaurant.
"Done? What do you mean? I-I get it if you're upset, but let me explain," Sonic tried to plead his case as he continued to follow me out of the restaurant. And as we made a turn onto the sidewalk…
"No. I'm tired of your lamebrained excuses," I told him, not wanting to hear another word. "This is where I'm drawing the line. I'm not gonna let you keep treating me like an afterthought whenever I ask to spend time with you."
"Amy, come on. You're being dramatic," he insensitively accused, agitating me even more as I walked along the street even faster. Alas, in typical Sonic fashion, he zoomed right ahead of me with his super speed and placed himself right in front of me to block my path. "I see that you're mad, but don't let it get to your head. Let's talk about this. You know I didn't show up late on purpose, don't you?"
"Three and a half hours, though? Do you seriously think it's okay to make me wait THREE AND A HALF HOURS for you to show up?" I interrogated, finally looking up to face him. And judging by the way his eyes widened as he reeled back, it seems he got the hint. "And for you to do this to me EVERY SINGLE TIME we set up a date!? Or even to NOT SHOW UP AT ALL!?"
"I-I know, and I still feel awful about the other times I stood you up, but this time is different. Tails was showing me this cool new upgrade for the Tornado, and I-!"
"Oh, you'd better not even TRY to finish THAT statement!" I roared at him, shocking him into silence as onlookers began to notice us arguing. "YOU BLEW ME OFF FOR TAILS!? AGAIN!?"
"No! C'mon, just gimme a second to clear up the misunderstanding!" he impatiently demanded of me.
"The only way this could be a 'misunderstanding' is if you're about to tell me Eggman attacked some random forest or that some alien warlord was plotting to bomb the city. Is that what you're gonna tell me? That you and Tails had to deal with Eggman or another world-ending threat again?"
"Well… No, but I… er…" he stammered and faltered as he scratched behind his ear, letting me know all I needed to know in that moment. And in that moment, I sighed and brushed some of my tears off my face.
"…There's nothing else we have to discuss here. If you find it so much more fun hanging around Tails, or Knuckles, or Shadow, or whoever, then I hope you treat them better than you treat me. Go and hang out with them to your heart's content, Sonic. I'm not doing this with you anymore. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way…" I scolded before stepping around him to continue my walk of shame. Oh, my GOODNESS, I was mad…! So mad, I could hardly even see straight…! And yet, he just wouldn't quit. With another burst of wind, Sonic zoomed by me and stopped me again. This time, he pressed his hands to my shoulders to stop me. My response? "Get your hands off me…!" I demanded as I glared at him, fresh tears running down my face as my makeup grew more and more ruined.
"Ah, s-sorry," he apologized as he removed his hands from my shoulders, caught off-guard by my seething anger at him. "But look, I know I messed up, and I feel terrible for it. Let me make it up to ya, alright? Why don't we go on a midnight stroll around Twinkle Park together? Maybe I can cheer you up over some funnel cake and some rides, eh?"
"I'm not a child, Sonic. You're not going to win me over with a trip to the amusement park. That's what I do for Cream when she's upset," I straight-up told him, catching him by surprise again. "At this point, you've finally made it clear that you don't like me the way I like you. I get it now. You're free to do whatever you want. So, go. Leave me alone and go have your fun somewhere else."
"Ah, jeez…" he groaned and sighed. "I don't know why it always has to boil down to that, but throw me a bone here, Ames. You know I hate to see you so upset. Let me know what I can do to cheer you up. Y'know, aside from marry you. Heh," he tried to joke to lighten the mood. In the nicest way I can put it… It didn't work.
"Graah, at this point, I'd much rather marry SHADOW than marry you!" I harshly spat at him, my frustration with his nonchalant attitude boiling over. "HE at least knows how to be respectful and doesn't treat everything like a STUPID GAME! I'M SO SICK OF YOU ALWAYS ACTING LIKE YOU CAN JUST CHARM AND SCHMOOZE YOUR WAY OUT OF A BAD SITUATION! I'M TIRED OF CONSTANTLY HOPING YOU'D GROW UP AND UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME WHEN YOU PUSH ME AWAY AND TREAT ME LIKE I'M JUST SOME ANNOYING FANGIRL YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND, AND THEN 'PROMISE' TO MAKE IT BETTER IN WHATEVER WAY YOU THINK WILL GET YOU OUT OF HOT WATER WITH ME! AS YOU'VE PROVEN, IT DOESN'T LAST LONG BEFORE YOU SCREW UP AGAIN! AND I'M NOT GIVING YOU YET ANOTHER CHANCE TO HURT ME LIKE THIS!"
"Whoa, whoa, Amy, chill! You don't have to get so lo-!"
"AND YOU KNOW WHAT, SONIC!? I'M SICK OF BEING IN LOVE WITH YOU! I'M DONE WITH YOU!" I shouted a sequence of words I thought I'd NEVER utter in my entire life. I… I really just said that. I really just said I was sick of being in love with Sonic. Right to Sonic's face. And you know what? In that moment… it felt… it felt good. Not because I wanted to hurt him or anything. It was just… I felt the need to be free from the plague of these unrequited feelings of mine. And uttering those words… it felt like an old chain being snapped, finally releasing me from a prison of my own making. Sonic's reaction, though?
"…Ah… I… um…" he stuttered, the wind seemingly taken out of his sails as he stood there… staring without even blinking… his arms limp at his sides as he processed what I just said. I wasn't in the mood to wait for him to come up with a proper response, however.
"Now, as I said, I'm going home. Stop following me and leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you anymore. Have a good rest of your night," I plainly bade him a not-so-fond farewell as I walked past him and kept on going. He didn't follow me this time. I didn't even bother looking back to see what he'd do. And as I fell into another fit of sobbing my eyes out while I picked up the pace and ran home, I realized that I had… a LOT of thinking to do… about myself… about what I would do… and about how I'd plan to start a new chapter of my life… without Sonic… or about if I was even capable of such a thing…
