A/N: I'm currently working on hard on completely rewriting "The Aurelian Prophecy" (started many, many moons ago) and I've found that having one-shots to write helps break of the monotony and jump start the creative process so I figured I'd post them as I write them. This will be rated T for now, if I make the jump to M I'll try to warn in advance.

Warning: This one-shot does contain major character deaths.

A is for Apocalypse


"Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay."

-Robert Frost, Nothing Gold Can Stay


The house was silent. How long had it been since it had been well and truly silent? Grief hung heavily in the air, suffocating her. Them, maybe. She didn't care. She couldn't care about them. Her last bastion of strength had been stolen from her. Ripped away and the wound it's absence left was debilitating. Raw, angry and seeping with betrayal, hatred and a melancholy so deep that she was drowning in it.

Sound filtered back to her slowly. So slowly. She realized then, in that moment, that the house hadn't been silent. The house was never silent. She'd just lost her ability to hear them. The raised voices and slamming cupboards. The loud murmurs of the potentials as they gossiped excitedly about what had gone down.

Dawn's sobs. Closer to her than the rest. She was in her room, then. Like Buffy, hiding away. A knock sounded at her door. She didn't answer. It didn't even occur to her that she should. It swung open anyway. When had she ever gotten what she wanted, after all?

"Buffy…" he trailed off, unsure.

"Get out," her voice was low and raw and she nearly didn't recognize it.

"We did what we thought-" he didn't get a chance to finish as the slayer, his slayer, moved fluidly from her seated position on the end of her bed and was standing before him faster than he could blink.

"No," she hissed. She wrenched her eyes, dark with despair, to his and stared deep into his pitying gaze. "You betrayed me, Giles. You betrayed all of us. Robin wanted revenge, he didn't give a shit about what was best for us. For the world. For me. And neither did you. I needed Spike. The first wanted him out of the way and you gave it exactly what it wanted," her voice was low and calmer than it should have been considering the maelstrom of emotion churning within her. It only made her more threatening.

She pushed past him, knowing he would follow as she moved swiftly down the stairs. Deafening silence met her arrival and this time she knew that it wasn't just her hearing dipping out on her again. The tension in the air and the morose, expectant faces that watched her anxiously was testament to that simple fact.

Her eyes found Robin's and her body started to shake with anger. His eyes were both swollen, his left arm clenched protectively to his stomach. Half of his face was a giant bruise and who knew how many more were hidden beneath his clothes. How bold of him to show up in her house after murdering her vampire. How stupid. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Buffy—" He began hesitatingly, but his eyes showed no remorse and it only served to fuel her rage.

"If you don't get the hell out of my town. Now. I'll finish what Spike started and I won't be so nice about it," she threatened and no one in the room mistook it for hollow.

He opened his mouth to speak again but Xander stopped him. "Leave," he demanded quietly, that silent strength her occasionally showcased shown in his voice and Robin turned to leave out the back door, keeping his distance from the small, dangerous woman who'd rather him dead.

Giles was saying something behind her but she'd been ignoring him as she focused on ensuring the murderer left her house. She had liked him, and god it really wasn't that long ago. Slowly she pivoted to face her watcher, vaguely aware of everyone's rapt attention on her but paying them no heed. "You betrayed me once a long time ago," she told him, her tone downright conversational as she conjured up some of that cheerleader pep she was famous for.

Giles' jaw opened and closed as he searched for something to say. She didn't care to give him the time to think up a response. "I forgave you. I forgave you for stealing my powers, my strength. I chose to trust you again. To continue to love you as a daughter would love her father. You made a mistake and I could understand it."

"I—" she cut him off again.

"You betrayed me a second time when you left me here. Drowning in dept. When I couldn't breathe because being pulled out of Heaven hurt so fucking bad that I would have done just about anything to go back. When I had to take care of my sister even though I could barely take care of myself. You left me when I couldn't find a steady job because my real job, my sacred duty, made it impossible. I got you your job back with the council and you left because my pain was too hard for you to bear," she told him, quietly unleashing year's worth of bottled hurt.

Giles shook his head wordlessly but she felt satisfaction as guilt and horror finally entered his gaze. Behind her she heard Xander let out a strangled sound but she ignored him as she forged ahead. "I forgave you for that too. Just recently, actually. I was hard to be around and I understood that."

The stairs creaked and Buffy glanced up to see her little sister quietly stop a few steps behind Giles. Her eyes were swollen and red, tears still streaming freely down her face. The sister's eyes met and a mutual understanding was reached as they recognized the naked pain in each other. The slayer turned back to her watcher.

"Tonight you betrayed me for a third time, Giles. For the last time. Tonight you conspired with a man who doesn't know us. Who doesn't know what we've been through together, doesn't know what I've been through. Who doesn't know anything about Spike. Tonight you had the man that I…" she trailed off as she swallowed the words and when she spoke again her words were barely more than a whisper. "You had him murdered."

"He was a danger, the first had him under it's control. He was killing," Giles insisted. "We should have killed him long ago, Buffy. So much bad could have been avoided if we had."

"Like what Giles?" she demanded. "These last couple years he saved my sister more times than I can count. He protected my mom, my friends. And he did all of it without a soul."

"He did it because he had a chip," he shot back, eyes narrowed as he refused to let her gloss over exactly what the vampire had been. "He tried to rape you Buffy," he murmured lowly.

Her eyes shot accusingly to Xander who shifted uncomfortably. His eyes were apologetic and wary but there was still that glint of agreement that she could see in them. Agreement with the watcher.

"Did Xander also tell you about the time I beat Spike to a pulp and left him in an alley to meet the sunrise just for trying to save me from myself? Did he tell you that I was just as horrible and abusive in that relationship as Spike was? Worse, even. Because I knew he would take whatever I dished out because he loved me. Worse because I did have a soul. I did know better and I did know what it was like to be in a healthy relationship. Spike didn't."

It was Dawn's turn to let out a gasp as the implications of what their relationship had really been made itself known. Guilt seeped further into her bones as she remembered the shattered look in his eyes as she threatened him if he didn't stay away from her sister.

"He got his soul, Giles. He got his soul for me. Because what he almost did scared him so much that he couldn't live with himself. When Willow killed Warren last year...when she wanted to end the world we didn't have her murdered, did we? Even though, unlike Spike, she was in control of herself. We got her help," she paused again. "I can't forgive you this time. I needed Spike. I wanted Spike. You took away my strength again, Giles. That's what Spike was to me. You gave the first what it wanted and if we can't stop it...if the world ends Giles, I'm blaming you. I don't understand this time. Now get out of my house. You're not welcome here anymore, if you have any information for us you can call Xander or Willow," she told him and her tone did not invite any room for arguments. She turned her back on him and went down into the basement. Spike's basement.

She sat on his cot and stared listlessly at the walls. She barely even noticed as the tears stared flowing.

She ran faster than she'd ever run before, skidding to a halt, relief flooding through her as he walked out of the building. His duster swirling at his ankles as he moved. She'd asked about Robin and he told her that he was alive because of who his mother was. That this would be his only free pass. Too late she saw the movement, too late because she was too focused on the fact that he was alive to realize that he was soon to be dead.

The stake flew through the air and Buffy yelled out just as it embedded itself into his back, into his heart. His bright blue eyes widened with shock as they met hers. Someone was screaming and as he muttered his last words she realized it was her. Her eyes watched the floating particles of ash in disbelief as they slowly drifted down to the ground, forming a small pile that didn't remotely do justice to Spike's larger than life existence.

She sank to her knees beside the ashes. She was distantly aware of Robin's retreating figure. Aware that she should stop him. She felt it burning within her, to hunt him down and make him pay. To exact revenge and she suddenly realized that this must have been what Willow had felt last year. The disbelief, betrayal and overwhelming sorrow was too much to overcome at that moment though. So the principal escaped her wrath as her shaking hand reached out to touch what remained of the man that she…

His last words whispered through her mind as though they'd been caught by the wind and played on repeat.

"Sorry, luv."

~BTVS~

Dawn's world was shattered. She hated England. Once upon a time she would have loved it, to travel. She hated England and she hated Giles. Giles, who was her guardian until she turned eighteen. She hated the rain. She hated the accents that reminded her of Spike. She loved the accents that reminded her of Spike.

She hated when the sun shined. Hated it because it reminded her of her sister. She loved it because it reminded her of her sister.

She sat on a bench in the park. The sun was shining as a gentle, warm rain showered her. Droplets were dripping from the wet strands of hair that hung limply over her shoulders but she didn't care. The sun reminded her of Buffy and the rain reminded her of Spike and she took her comfort where she could.

After Giles had Spike killed things had changed. The first had taken delight in popping up and reminding them again and again that they'd lost a key player. It delighted in taking Spike's form. Faith and Willow had shown up shortly after Buffy had kicked Giles out. Things had gotten bad between them all.

Dawn was ashamed to believe that she once might have sided with the others when they'd forced Buffy out of her own house. Instead she stood by her. She had shed the childish demeanor she'd carried for far too long. She'd seen the pain in her sister's eyes every time Spike was mentioned. She'd heard her sobs as the house quieted at night. She realized just how much had been stolen from her sister.

They had holed up together in some abandoned house after Faith had been elected to take charge. Buffy had been defeated.

"Spike would have eaten them all if he'd been there when that happened," Dawn had growled angrily as she paced back and forth in the bedroom they'd commandeered. She ignored her sister's flinch at the vampire's name.

She came to a stop in front of Buffy and waited until the slayer finally looked up at her before speaking again.

"Spike would back you up no matter what. Whether you deserved it or not. He loved you, Buffy. I was too angry to realize how big it was, you know? Him getting his soul. He did something he couldn't live with and he did the only thing he could think of to make up for it. I was so angry at him for hurting you and for leaving me and I'll never get the chance now to forgive him or to apologize to him so I'm going to do the only thing I can think of to make up for it. I'm going to have your back no matter what. Because that's what Spike would do," she had told her sister, her voice trembling with emotion as she fought back her tears.

A broken sob erupted from her sister's mouth and they fell into a sisterly embrace as they both cried their hearts out until they gave into exhaustion.

When she awoke she was alone and Buffy had left her a note saying that she'd be back. That she knew what she needed to do.

That had been the beginning of the end. She'd gotten her scythe. She'd taken charge again after Faith and the others had nearly died. Angel came to town and delivered the amulet. That damn amulet. He had stayed to help. Buffy had kept her distance from him and Dawn knew that they were both thinking the same thing. The wrong vampire was standing on the front lines.

Then Whistler had showed up. Dawn remembered Buffy talking about him years ago. Back when Angel had lost his soul the first time. He told them that things had gone sideways big time. That Spike had been meant to wear the giant gaudy amulet when the time came. That it was his soul, his anchored soul that was meant to power it. Angel was out of the running.

Buffy had never been one to give up though, no matter how beat down she was. So, when the potentials became slayers and they'd beaten the Turok-Han back as best they could she'd put the amulet on herself. Her soul, her human soul powered it. She'd brought the Hellmouth to it's knees.

Dawn hadn't been there but Faith had. Faith refused to talk about what the amulet had done but Dawn knew that it had been bad. That Buffy's final death hadn't been as peaceful as her last one. The dark slayer rose to the challenge and became a leader of sorts for the army of newly called slayers that filtered in from around the world.

Willow was always busy with her wicca studies. Xander was traveling the world, working on behalf of the council and running from the memory of Anya and Buffy. Giles provided for her but wisely kept his distance. Faith was around though and she reminded Dawn a little of Buffy, with her slayer strength and determination. She reminded her a little of Spike too, with the dark humor and cigarettes.

"Come on, kid," the dark slayer called out, snapping Dawn our of her reverie. "Let's get some pizza." Dawn looked up at the sky from her spot on the bench let out a sad smile as the raindrops hit her sun-warmed face.

~BTVS~

Africa was hot and the sun burned bright in the sky. Xander sometimes caught himself wondering just how difficult the trip to get his soul had been for Spike. Those last few weeks on the Hellmouth had seen him learning a lot. The dark nature of Buffy's relationship with Spike, the fact that maybe his dear friend hadn't exactly been the only victim during the course of it.

He still drowned in guilt when he thought of the night they'd teamed up against her and Dawn. When she'd left her own house because she couldn't stand their betrayal. It had been right on the heels of Spike's death too, of Giles' betrayal. Still, she had saved them. She had saved them when their own actions had led them to death's door and she saved them one final time when she dawned the amulet that the vampire that she'd loved- and he had no doubt anymore that she had loved him- had been meant to wear. When she had died again to save them.

He still worked with Giles and Willow. With Faith and Dawn. It's all he knew, after all. He kept his distance though. From Willow's sad, knowing gaze. From Dawn's blank stare. From Faith and the fact that, though she had changed and she was one of them now, she would never be Buffy. He kept his distance from Giles. Giles who had betrayed them, who's actions had directly led to Buffy's death. Spike had been one of them too, like Faith. A sort of reformed killer. Xander hadn't liked him but he would never have gone behind Buffy's back like that. He'd learned his lesson during the Angel/Angelus debacle.

He continued on, working with them, for her. For Buffy, the woman who gave the world everything she had time and time again. For Anya too. Anya, who had died to save Andrew of all people. His cowardly girl who had proven to be a bigger, braver, person than anyone had ever expected. Except him. Xander knew. He saw. He'd been honest with Dawnie about that.

~BTVS~

He had made his fair share of mistakes over his life. From his rebellious youth to his time with the watcher's council. His mistakes with Buffy were the worst though. She had been right to list his betrayals following the vampire's death. That final one, the one that had seen to Spike's death, that had been his worst. She had been right, when she'd said it was unforgivable.

He didn't much care that the vampire was dead, only that it had led to the death of his slayer, of the girl he had long thought of as a daughter. If only he'd waited. The amulet would have been worn by Spike and, though he still would have died, Buffy would be alive. She wouldn't have spent her final moments hating him. Dawn wouldn't hate him now. Xander wouldn't resent him, Willow wouldn't blame him. He wouldn't blame himself. The world would have some semblance of right to it still.

Yes, plotting the death of Spike had been his biggest mistake. His deepest regret. He rather believed that there would be no redemption for him from that.

~BTVS~

Some days she longed for the simplicity of prison. It sounded pathetic, sure, but leading an army of souped-up teenagers was hardly her idea of a good time. No wonder B had been so beat down and exhausted when Faith had arrived in town. Not that the girls were the only reason. She'd heard, with Willow, about what Giles had done. Faith had never met Spike but from what she'd heard from the others she thought that they probably would have gotten along just fine.

Buffy had been a shell of herself those last few weeks but that undercurrent of strength that had always run strong in her fellow slayer, that thing about her that Faith had always been jealous of, was still there. When the dorky demon with horrible fashion sense had told them that Spike's death meant that the world would probably end and Angel wasn't up to scratch Buffy had just grown more determined. Faith had admired that.

Her lips twitched a bit as she remembered the dressing down Buffy had given Giles after the little demon dude left. The horror that had shown on the watcher's face as he realized the implications of what he was so sure had been the right thing to do.

The small smile fell from her lips as she remembered B's last moments. They hadn't thought there was any way to win after Whistler's warning but they tried anyway. They were retreating as the Hellmouth's cavern started to collapse. Faith looked to see what had caused it when a bright glow caught her eye and her heart sunk as she watched Buffy light up.

"B!" she called out as she ran over to her, waving the other girls out. Roars rumbled throughout the underground as the light from the amulet that Buffy was powering disintegrated the ancient ugly vamps. "Take it off, time to go!"

Buffy looked at her and her green eyes were shining with pain and tears even as she smiled. "Go on, Faith. I gotta finish this up," she told her calmly.

"You've done enough, B!" Faith argued as she reached for the ugly ass necklace but Buffy batted her hand away and Faith reeled back as her usually smooth, tanned skin glowed red like embers before it started to blacken. In that moment she knew it was too late.

"Take care of Dawnie for me," the older slayer demanded.

Faith choked down a wad of emotion as she nodded. "Promise," she replied.

Buffy smiled again but her lips were turning black and her skin started to crackle as the power of the amulet burned her up from the inside out. "Then go!" she yelled out, jerking her head back towards the stairs. Faith held her gaze for a just a moment longer before forcing her legs to move. She ignored the wetness behind her eyes as she ran for her life, Buffy's tortured screams following her as she fled.

She had landed on the roof of the school bus just as the town became a crater behind them. Dawn rushed out from the bus as soon as it came to a stop. Everyone else filtered out behind her. Giles, who had been driving was the last one out. A sob burst out of Dawn as she took in the sight of the wrong slayer standing before her. Faith did something completely unnatural and pulled the kid into a hug.

She looked solemnly at the group, Willow was leaning heavily on Kennedy as tears flowed freely down her face. "She ended it, the Turok-Han, the first, all of it. She...died a hero," she grit out.

"Again," Xander whispered as they all looked back at the crater that minutes before had been Sunnydale.

Giles had gained guardianship over Dawn but Faith was there always. Keeping her promise, something she hadn't always been so good at. Faith couldn't blame the girl for hating the watcher, she wasn't too fond of him these days herself. Dawn had told her about the last time Buffy had died, when Willow and Xander had resurrected her, unknowingly pulling her from Heaven. Faith didn't know much about all that but she hoped that B had found herself back there.

~BTVS~

She hadn't been there when the world changed. She'd been re-souling Angel. Willow doubted she'd ever forget the tension in the house when she'd gotten back, Faith on her heels. When Xander quietly filled them in on what Giles and Robin Wood had done. Willow had never hated Spike, not like Xander and even occasionally Buffy had. She had actually felt some sort of kinship with him. Tara had like him too, she remembered fondly.

She felt a sorrow over his death. Not for Buffy or Dawn, but for the loss of the vampire himself. Things had gone from bad to worse and she didn't think she'd ever forgive herself for siding with the others against Buffy that one night. They'd been wrong and they'd paid for it but Buffy had paid too. She'd paid with yet another betrayal by the people who were always supposed to have her back.

When she'd stumbled out of the bus and saw only Faith in the aftermath of the battle her knees had given out and she'd slowly (thanks to Kennedy) sunk to the concrete. Buffy had died. They'd lost so many people this time. So many potential slayers. Anya. Spike. Buffy.

Willow smiled a bit as the results of her spell came back. She had to be sure since they didn't know much about the amulet. As soon as Angel had called her to let her know that it had been found in the wreckage she asked him to send it to her to help guide her spell. Heaven. Buffy was in Heaven. Willow blew out the candles and ignored the stray tear that made it's way down her cheek.

The apocalypse had been averted yet again but in a way, for the Scoobies, the world had ended anyway.