A/N: Welcome to the sequel! Thanks so much for sticking to it! I hope this one doesn't disappoint! I have a plan laid out on how I'm going to proceed with this story, so let's see how well I can stick to it lol Starting out with a bang! Enjoy!


My Monster

Chapter 1: Manipulators Pt 1


Months had passed. They'd gotten comfortable sleeping in the same bed, never doing anything sexual together; just enjoying the other's company. They'd fallen into a routine. Rey went about the day taking care of everything Hux once did: organizing merchants' visits, organizing expenses like food and armory supplies, managing income from the south, etc. Relationships with the south has somewhat improved, but it could very well have gotten better. She had a strong feeling that Luke was behind the strained relationship, but she had no concrete evidence. Finn and Poe had sent her multiple letters, all of which she refused to read. They just sat in a pile in her closet in a box, all unopened.

She'd had multiple run ins with Phasma while she was handling the books. Apparently, Phasma had a knack for being overbearing and none-too-helpful. It was as if the woman was waiting for her to make a mistake so she could report it to Ben. But even if she did make a mistake, Rey readily admitted it and everything was fine. She'd had to put her in her place several times, but no matter how many times she did, Phasma was always right back there the next day. She'd never stepped out of line like Hux though, so that was a good sign, she supposed. Rey had even tried to be nice to Phasma and get her to teach her some things about what Hux did, trying to bond with her. However, she quickly realized that wasn't an option. All Phasma did was mock her and try to take over the assignment herself, acting like Rey was incompetent. So that was a dead end. It was a learning curve on how to deal with her though.

Honesty, Rey wanted her gone, but she didn't know how to approach Ben with it. She'd talked to Rose and Paige some on it, but they couldn't offer her any advice on how to deal with Phasma since Phasma was technically their boss, too. Rey even promised Rose and Paige immunity, but they still couldn't give advice because they didn't know what to tell her except to speak with Ben. That was what she was trying to avoid though, so she threw that advice out the window and just kept allowing Phasma to do as she wanted for the time being. But she'd noticed that their exchanges were starting to get more heated as days went on. Things were definitely ramping up between them and Rey didn't like the disruption of peace. Even the Knights had stumbled upon their arguments a time or two and it was not flattering. To either side. She was sure that if this kept up, Ben would find out sooner or later whether she wanted him to or not.

She'd observed the Knights and their training regimen, occasionally joining them for runs a couple of times a week. She'd noticed that when she did join them, Ben had joined, too. She'd found herself, and him, falling into a rhythm of silent competition. The Knights only hung back as they raced each other around the grounds. She'd quite enjoyed their playful competitions between each other. It always ended with a walk in the garden, both of them constantly getting distracted by the presence of the other. It was definitely a nice exchange between them. One that neither of them expected, that was for sure.

Among their exchanges and quality time, Ben and Rey had been experimenting with their bond. They'd tested how far away the other had to be to hear them. From what they saw, the bond had no limit. Nor were anyone else able to enter their minds, like the Knights. They exerted influence over them, using their own manipulation of the force, but they never read their minds or manipulated their decisions. Rey and Ben were the only ones who could hear each other's thoughts. They couldn't read anyone else's thoughts. Well, Ben could. Rey didn't know how he could, but he could. He'd apparently forced his way into the mind of Vicrul one day in a spit of anger. It freaked Vicrul out so bad that he avoided Ben for days!

Currently, Rey was reading through expense reports as she reclined in the garden, laid out in a field of flowers she'd planted a month or two ago. She tapped her chin with the pencil as she read through the reports and rolled her eyes with a sigh. It was worse than she thought. Hux had been siphoning tons of money. It was a good thing it was caught when it was; otherwise, Ren Castle would be broke. She sat up, her hair falling just past her shoulders as she crossed her legs and started writing on the papers, making notes as to the amounts.

And then, as if on cue, her whole body stiffened and she let out a huff. "These impromptu attacks of yours are annoying sometimes," she said to him with a small smile.

He only chuckled through their connection. She could practically see him shrugging, too. "How else will we test our defenses?"

"Do you have to come in so strong though?" she shot back, her eyes flicking over the expenses again. Though, it was much harder to concentrate with him in her mind now.

"Fortify your defenses and it won't be so strong."

She rolled her eyes and grinned. "Don't you have something to do?"

Ben snickered. "I'm annoying my wife. Does that count?" Rey laughed, but also blushed at being called his wife. Sure, they'd gotten closer romantically, but it was still such a foreign concept to her to be in a pseudo-relationship with a man that was her acting husband. Still, the sound of being called his wife didn't deter her. It actually made her heart swell with pride. "Finances again?" he asked, his voice far closer than she'd expected, causing her to jump at the sudden closeness of his voice by her ear.

She turned her head to look at him, seeing him crouching behind her with a satisfied grin on his lips. "I'll never understand how such a big man can move so quietly..."

"I don't. You just get easily distracted when you get lost in your thoughts about me," he teased. It was then she realized she was broadcasting again. They'd decided to call the term "broadcasting" when the other could hear thoughts that one wasn't aware of. It was like broadcasting over a radio with no filter with the other party free to hear and experience what they want without detection. Her face darkened four shades as she cleared her throat nervously. He took a seat next to her in the garden, crossing his legs as well and she leaned comfortably against his shoulder, still looking at the papers in her hand. "What are you so focused on?"

She let out a heavy sight as she pointed with the pencil at the paper in her hand. "This expense in particular shows up several times. And it's always for such a high amount. The numbers vary, but it's definitely consistent. I can't figure out what it is."

Ben looked at the paper, studying what she was pointing at and thought for a long moment. "Have you asked Phasma?" Rey shot a deadpan look up at him. "Right... dead end." She rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh. "Why don't you just fire her if she's giving you so much trouble?"

Rey frowned and sat up, turning her worried glare at him. "Why would I do that? If I fire her, she could easily go to someone else, possibly the south, and tell everyone what we have going on here. The inner workings, the finances, the... Hux situation... If that were to happen, the already fragile peace could finally collapse. We can't risk that happening. I'd much rather keep her close where I know I can keep an eye on her."

Ben gave her one of his proud grins. He only ever gave her one of these in particular when he was particularly proud of her decision. It only served to remind her that she was thinking as a true Duchess. He kissed her forehead gently. "Good thinking. In any case, if she continues to step out of line, we should probably do something about it."

"And what do you suggest we do? At this moment, she knows she's untouchable. It's ridiculous that she stands over my shoulder, refusing to help with anything, while she waits for me to make a mistake."

"Find something else for her to do. Take responsibilities from her and force her to do something else. Job reassignment couldn't hurt. Especially since the only reason her and Hux were around were because I was too busy waging war to pay attention to behind the scene details required for running a castle and a country. Now that you're here, she's basically useless," Ben said nonchalantly with a shrug.

Rey offered a small smile at his support. While it was true that she had worn out her usefulness, Rey tried not to look at her as worthless. Maybe she could find something for Phasma to do, other than babysitting Rey all day and combing through her efforts to do her job. But what could she do? Rey thought silently as she stared out at the setting sun. Her favorite time of day. It was always nice to come out to the garden and sit among the flowers, watching the sun go down and the sky come alive with vibrant warm pinks and oranges and sometimes purples. It was her favorite time of the day. It was the little reward she granted herself after a long, hard day of work. Of course, it was even better when she was able to spend this brief time with Ben. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arm gently around her shoulders, his head leaning against hers as they watched it together silently. Moments like this made her happy that she came here. These were the moments that overwrote any bad moments she'd experienced along the way.

"You'll figure it out," he said as he let his hand rub her arm briefly. She smiled warmly and nodded against him. "I suppose I should tell you before anyone else does..." he started with a small sigh, disrupting their peace as the sky took on a greyish blue color after a few moments. "You've received another letter from Poe." Rey shrugged against him. "Why haven't you been reading them? I see them stacked up in that box."

"I'm not interested in anything they have to say," she said simply. "They made it perfectly clear that they think I'm a traitor to the south when I told them I wasn't going to endorse their faux peace treaty while they raised an army against the north. I accepted my new life here, which is what they wanted, yet somehow, I'm still a traitor. I have no interest in hearing anything else they have to say to me."

"Not even an apology?" he asked.

He felt her stiffen against him before she let out a defeated sigh. "They wouldn't apologize."

"You're wrong. They have." She glanced up at him then. "I opened the letter we received today. While most of it was utter garbage... there was an apology in there for you."

Her brows pulled together slightly. She wasn't upset that he'd opened the letter. She could care less about that, but she was getting a little upset at why he was trying to make her fix things with them. "They're only apologizing because they've lost their mole. They're not truly sorry, Ben, because they don't believe they've done anything wrong."

Ben sighed softly as he raised his hand up to cup her cheek, gently caressing her skin with his thumb. "You're stubbornness is attractive, but sometimes it's misguided." She blushed and pouted just a moment, causing him to grin. "Read the letters. All of them. Then respond to them. Say what you want to say and let that be the end of it." She hesitantly nodded, knowing he was right. She couldn't keep putting everything off forever. She had to deal with it. If she didn't, there'd be silverfish everywhere in her closet... "Good. Now, come on. It's time to train some more."

She nodded as they got up and walked back to the castle together, arm in arm. Their training regimen together was a simple one. They'd both read about the perks of having a dyad. Some of those perks were being able to feel each other's emotions on a cellular level, ultimately making those emotions their own if they chose. Another benefit was being able to speak to each other directly, no matter how far away they were from each other. There were many times when Ben had gone out on horseback, leaving the castle grounds, as far south as the north/south border, and they could still communicate as clearly as if they were right next to each other. They'd also learned that they were able to see each other, but not each other's surroundings. That one was discovered on accident when Rey was bathing...

Thinking back to that moment made a slight tinge of pink stain his cheeks before he cleared his throat and shook the thought away. Rey blushed as well, being able to feel what he felt when he thought about it. She hadn't learned to control her thoughts, but he hadn't learned to control his emotions. It was a perfectly balanced imbalance. "You think about that a lot," Rey whispered through their connection shyly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, glancing over at her briefly as they roamed the halls of the castle.

Rey's blush darkened. "Seeing me naked. You think about it a lot. May I ask why?"

Ben's turn to blush now. He remained silent as they walked, his steps faltering for a split second at the rising discomfort. "I'd like to see if we can pass objects through our bond this time. Something simple... like an apple or something-"

"You're avoiding the question," she said out loud, stepping in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest stubbornly.

"Not avoiding-"

"Then what do you call it?"

"Refusing to state the obvious," he countered.

Her brows pulled down and together then in confusion. "What is that supposed to mean, Ben?"

"It doesn't matter. We need to focus on the training-"

"It does matter!" she hissed.

He frowned at her, not particularly caring to be yelled at by her, but also unsure of why she was so passionate about getting an answer he was positive she already knew. "Why do you ask useless questions?"

She glared at him. "It's not a useless question. I want to hear what you have to say."

"What do I have to say?"

"Ben," she warned.

He huffed softly before grabbing her wrist and walking into his room, shutting the door and pinning her against it. He glowered down at her then. "What is you want me to say, Rey?"

"I want you to answer my question."

"Why should I answer a question you already know the answer to?"

"Because I want to hear you say it to me!"

"You want me to say what, Rey!? That even though it was an accident, I still think about it? That it's difficult to fall asleep next to you every night when I have these... emotions I don't understand rushing through my head? That with each passing day, I grow more and more attracted to you, but don't want to say anything because rejection is always right there threatening to rear its ugly head at any given moment?! I don't know why I keep thinking about it! I wish I could stop! Are you happy now!?" he exclaimed, glaring down at her as his heart beat so loud in his chest he swore she could hear it, too.

She pressed her lips into a thin line as he stared down at her uncomfortably. "Ben-"

"Are we training with this link or not?" he growled at her, still wanting to avoid this whole situation entirely for fear of hearing her rejection, either out loud or in his head. She glared up at him, her own green eyes holding the fire he adored so much, but she nodded curtly. "Good." He stepped away from her, leaving her against the door as he sat in the seating area with a heavy sigh, plopping onto the couch. His forearms rested on his knees as he glared down at the table.

She could sense the uneasiness, regret and fear coursing through his side of the connection and she felt... guilt? She stayed with her back against the door, processing what had just happened as she kept his emotions at a distance while she processed her own. Truth be told, it made her slightly giddy to know he felt that way. No doubt, he had developed strong romantic feelings for her, and she with him, but to hear him voice his struggle was encouraging because she knew she wasn't alone.

"You're never alone," he reminded her with a sigh.

She flinched, her eyes darting over to him to see him looking over at her through the darkness in the room. He had a forlorn look on his face as he stared through the darkness, truly seeing her for what she was. He was the one person she couldn't hide from. She gave him a small shy, uneasy smile. "Neither are you."

He scoffed softly, turning his sight away from her. "We'll see."

She couldn't stop the frown from forming on her lips as she hesitantly left the door, walking over to the seating area. She didn't sit on her normal side though. She came to stop right in front of him, gently running her fingers through his hair as a comforting gesture that she'd figured out he liked. He sighed again, but made no move to push her away, which she assumed was a good sign. She pressed her lips together as she reached out with their connection, pushing at the figurative bubble of his mind. She was met with resistance, but she found her way through. Once she was in his mind, the emotions swirling around in his head were like a gut punch. Fear. Sadness. Loneliness. Regret. Nervousness. Anxiety. Anger. Frustration. Affection. Shyness. Comfort. Terror. She found herself getting lost in his emotions as she tried to process each one, but she stopped and steadied herself.

She'd learned that with each emotion he had, it had a string attached to it, to paint a visual picture. Each emotions stemmed from a thought or a series of thoughts that led him to feel that way. It could be tied to a memory, or a bad experience, or a fear that something could or would happen. She'd learned to separate those emotions and follow the strings so she could better understand him. Of course, this wasn't without experimenting on herself, too. Whenever she felt an emotion, she tried to trace it in her own mind to what memory or experience or fear it stemmed from. It helped when she was trying to process his during their sessions together.

He remained still, feeling her rummaging through his chaos of a mind. He kept his sight fixated on the floor, her fingers in his hair as he focused on just breathing. Soon, their breathing synced up and he found himself relaxing, his head resting against her stomach and his eyes closing. He allowed himself this peace. He felt her tracing his emotions, sorting through them and helping him draw his own conclusions on why he was feeling the way he was feeling.

Fear. Stemmed from the thought of being rejected by the only person in his life that he felt he had a meaningful connection with. Sadness stemmed from how he'd been rejected in the past by so many people like his parents and Luke. Loneliness he felt from that rejection leaving him without anyone he could rely on and trust with his heart. Regret for going off on her like that and telling her how he felt in such a way, rather than doing it properly. Nervousness that he may scare her away with his outbursts. Anxiety that she may leave him one day, as so many others have done. Anger for his own weakness and not being able to keep himself in check. Frustration for how his life has turned out and why he reacts the way he reacts, and how he reacted with her, and not knowing why he was so irritated at not understanding himself. Affection he felt for her.

She paused at that emotion, allowing herself to linger. She saw that it was linked to so many memories and feelings, including shyness, comfort and terror. She'd be lying if she didn't feel the same thing when examining her own feelings for him. She turned into a blithering idiot if she was asked to explain her feelings for him, as she had just a moment ago with him. She understood why he was so flustered. Neither of them had been in love before, so they weren't really sure if that was this was, or if it was infatuation or lust or anything else. She could tell he valued companionship as much as she did, but it went deeper than that. For both of them. It was as if they were each other's home. A refuge. A sanctuary.

She noticed his nervousness creeping back up as she lingered in thought over his emotions. She smiled softly and ran her fingers through his hair again, having come to stop when she started to process his affections. She saw all the memories attached to it. The smiles, the laughs, the blushes, the kisses. She saw exactly how he saw her. Beautiful. Flawless. A hope. A light. A future. A friend. A companion. A confidant. His.

She inadvertently gasped at the strength of that last one. The possession of that one word when referring to her. It knocked the air from her lungs and froze her in place all at the same time, like some sort of paralytic. She was still reeling from that feeling that she didn't even notice that he'd shut her out, being thrown out of his mind with such an abrupt force that it brought her back to reality. "Ben-"

"Enough..." he said, his voice small as he still refused to meet her gaze. His normally strong and commanding voice was now small and fearful. It slightly pained her, but from his end, he probably took her silence and her freezing up as a bad sign. He probably saw it as a rejection and not her processing it, as she was doing. She hesitantly reached out through their connection again, coming against the bubble of his mind and meeting resistance. He was trying to keep her out. "Rey, stop."

She pushed harder, choosing to not listen to him. She was met with more resistance and she frowned. He was just being stubborn now. Two could play at that game! She pushed even harder with as much force as he used when he threw her out. She was met with more resistance, but he ultimately let her in with a small grunt. She had to fight to stay there though. The emotions that were once there were gone. It was like being in a dark empty dungeon. No sound. No light. Nothing. She realized that he was hiding from her. She'd discovered this at their first attempt at searching each other's minds. She had to actively seek him out the first time, just as he was making her do now.

But this time was harder. The closer she got to finding something, the more resistance she met. She fought back just as hard, refusing to let him throw her out of his mind. She inadvertently gripped his hair in her hand, earning a soft growl, telling her to stop. She didn't though as she used it as the only anchor she had to try to steady her mind to resist his resistance. He let her do it, bringing his hands up to her hips to steady himself as well. To anyone that could have walked in on them, it looked like a childish and pathetic silent fight between them. She had his hair in her hand, his head bowed as he glared at the floor, his hands on her hips as if bracing for some sort of impact. It must have looked silly, thinking about it.

She pushed on in his mind, seeing with her own mind's eye that he was hiding behind a door. She gave it a tug, but it was holding tight, so she decided to try to ram through it. After a few assaults on the door, he allowed her to enter. And when she did, their connection was ignited all over again. Their connection hummed in their minds, a brief reward for syncing up again. She allowed herself a small smile, her grip loosening on his hair as she pet it down affectionately. "Sorry," she said as she leaned her head down and kissed the spot softly.

No sooner that she stood up was she hunched over him again as he quickly brought his arms around her, pulling her much smaller form into him and holding her against him. It was almost as if he were clinging to her. His cheek rested on her belly, his arms wound tightly around her waist as he sighed heavily. She looked down at him curiously, but decided it best to just hold him in return. She gently combed her fingers through his hair with one hand, cradling his head with the other as she smiled lovingly down at him. She felt his emotions again, coming back with as much force as the first time. This time, there were more positively inclined ones. Tenderness. Gratefulness. Affection, the strongest yet. Warmth. Hope. Peace. Contentment. Slight apprehension.

She softly exhaled a short gust of air before holding his face in her hands and turning his head to look at her. She was patient with him as she was met with resistance at first, but she lovingly coaxed him to turn to look at her. Still attached and rooted in his mind, she smiled warmly at him. There it was again. That strong affection. That happiness. That heart-stopping awe that she felt from him when he looked at her. It was truly remarkable how he saw her in such a high regard. She leaned down and pressed her lips against his, allowing herself to explore what he was feeling as she did. It was a soft kiss; nothing too extravagant, but in such a short period of time, she felt so many things it left her head reeling as she tried to find the words for the emotions.

Warmth. Happiness. Giddiness. Curiosity. Attachment. Affection. Desire. Longing. Comfort. Greed. Inebriation.

No sooner had she processed that last one that he had pulled her down into his lap, deepening the kiss. Somehow, his hand winded up on her jaw, tilting her head so he could angle the kiss better and pulling her closer all at the same time. She felt his hand slide up her back, sending shivers up her spine as she released a soft sound that was foreign to her own ears. Unfortunately, this only served as a green light for him to continue his ministrations. Before she knew it, she found herself on her back on the couch, his body hovering above her, their lips still dancing against each other's in a heated discussion.

She felt all of his emotions being poured into that kiss. The want that was driving him crazy. The deep regard he held her in to stop and break away. The feeling of being torn apart from the inside out. The frenzied madness she drove him to with just a look, let alone a touch. The insatiable desire to go further, but the fear holding him back, as well as the respect not to dare ask for more. She felt her breath shake as she exhaled, staring into his dark eyes, quite enjoying the fire she found in them.

It was then that she realized what this feeling was. She smiled wide at him, a deep blush on her cheeks. His own intense gaze turned to that of playfulness, but also determination. "Say it."

She grinned back up at him. "Say what?"

He smirked down at her before leaning down and pressing his lips to hers once more, stealing her breath away if only for a moment. He broke the kiss to trail heated kisses down her jaw and to her neck, nipping at her pulse point. "Say it," he purred in her mind.

She shuddered at the demand, but kept up her stubbornness anyway. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do," he growled before biting her neck gently, earning a gasp in return and a shudder. He then sat back up and stared down at her until she looked up at him again. Their eyes met and she saw him silently pleading with her. "Say it."

She smiled warmly. "I love you."

Even though he knew how she felt from their connection, it still sucked the life from his lungs to hear her say it aloud. Those three words turned his world into something he never in a million years thought he'd ever get to experience. Those three little words held such power. It was the beginning and the ending and anything in between, all at the same time. He felt his lips pull into a warm, genuine smile as his hand gently caressed her cheek. His thumb traced over her kiss swollen bottom lip. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers once more in a feather light kiss. "I love you, too."