Yor's Surprise

Yuri looked around him, fearing that he could have been tailed, before entering the pub in which the secret rendezvous he had been invited to was to take place. No one suspicious stood on either side of the curb. It was clear. At a nearby crossroads next to a traffic light, Chloe, whom he had asked to go with him for support in case things went wrong, gave him the all-clear: everything was good on her side. He nodded to her, adjusted his black flat cap and entered the bar.

"For Yor. I'm doing this for Yor's sake."

His contact was already there, sitting at the appointed table in the corner of the establishment, and they both squinted at each other. An immaculate green three-piece suit, a red tie – he immediately noticed that it was a new one that he had never seen the man wearing before – over a plain white shirt, a pair of sky-blue eyes darting at him from over his gloved hands crossed in front of his mouth, a few strands of blonde hair falling on his wrinkled forehead. The man looked deep in thought. Yuri did not take his eyes off him – in fact he did not even blink – until he was sitting across him. He had rehearsed this line thousands of times in his head, and the time to finally say it had come at last. Loid Forger was right there, before his very eyes. It was the perfect time.

"Are you finally divorcing my sister?"

Loid blinked twice, slowly.

"I'm sorry… what?"

"You heard me right, Loi-loi. The urgent telegram you sent me yesterday, asking for a secret interview! What else could you want to announce me on a secret interview, other than that you're finally giving my sister her freedom back?"

"I knew this was the worst idea…" Loid mentally sighed.

"I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint you here, Yuri. The reason why I asked you to meet me here today is that…"

He cleared his throat, a little feeling of embarrassment peaking up in his chest.

"Is that? Is that?" Yuri insisted.

"The reason why I asked you to meet me here today is that I need your advice. As my brother-in-law. I humbly ask for your help. Who knows Yor better than you?"

"Just the right amount of flattering and sister-mentioning should do the trick. Let him think that he has the upper hand here. He'll eat in my hand in no time if it means he gets to please his sister."

"My advice on you divorcing my sister, then?" Yuri looked cheered up. "I can help arrange the papers, if you want! In fact, I happen to already have them here…" he added, starting to pull a file from an inside pocket.

"… Guess that wasn't enough."

"That won't be necessary, Yuri. This is a most urgent matter, stop fooling around. I really need your help."

"Is my sister okay?" Yuri started to worry.

"Of course she is!"

"You better keep her happy, Forger, or else I'll…"

"He's really tough to follow, sometimes…"

"Quit it with the nonsense, Yuri. How do I keep her happy if you want me to divorce her?"

"He kind of has a point there…" Yuri admitted to himself.

"Okay, I get it. Just tell me what you want from me."

Loid took a deep breath, opened his briefcase on the table and pulled a file from it.

"Operation… birthday?" Yuri read on the cover, tilting his head. "Whose birthday?"

"Your sister's, you fool!"

"What do you mean my sister's? Yor's birthday is in just seven days, nine hours and…" he looked at his wristwatch. "… and thirty-five minutes! Don't tell me you haven't planned it yet?! Just divorce her already, if you can't even plan her birthday three months in advance, like normal people do!"

"Don't worry for that, it's already planned out – the birthday, I mean, not the divorce! But I just happen to lack the single most important thing… I don't know what to gift her."

"You… what?"

Yuri looked legitimately dumbfounded, as such lack of preparation seemed unfathomable for someone who had already chosen the next gift since the day after her previous birthday.

"Well, I know what to gift her, it's just that… I can't decide."

He slid the file on Yuri's side of the table, and pointed several items on the list that it displayed.

"I can't gift her one hundred and seventy-two different things now, can I? I need you to help me figure out which gift she's going to love the most."

"One hundred… and seventy-two?" Yuri looked aghast.

He felt torn between two feelings. On the one hand, he was most distressed: he never had that many ideas for a single birthday! But on the other hand, this seemed like the perfect opportunity to tear this evil man apart from his beloved sister. Was not his inability to decide on a gift the proof that he, in fact, did not love her?

"Let's see, what's the thing Yor would dislike the most…?" He started reading the list, then a vision popped up in his mind: his sister in tears after unwrapping a gift that she hated. His heart instantly broke and he felt crushed with extreme guilt at the mere thought of provoking such a situation: he would have ripped his own heart out of his chest rather than make her cry on her birthday. He then looked dismayed upon reading the full list, for it appeared that… there was nothing on that list that Yor would not absolutely love! He lifted a suspicious look at his brother-in-law over the sheet of paper.

"He does really love her, doesn't he? No! He's trying to fool me into thinking he loves her! You must remain focused, Yuri Briar!"

"Yuri, look, I…"

He staggered as Yuri darted a set of crimson eyes upon him – eyes very similar to Yor's, in which Loid loved to lose himself. But her brother's, on the other hand, lacked the warmth and kindness hers had and he had a hard time holding his gaze. He gulped and resumed.

"I know we've had our… differences, but look, I… I should greatly appreciate if we could set them aside for a while and work together on this. Wouldn't Yor love if her two favourite men could finally get along together, even just temporarily?"

Yuri's eyes widened. "He sees me as his equal before Yor's eyes?"

"Looks like I'm almost there… this was maybe not the worst idea, in the end…!" Loid thought. "I just need him to realize that I rely on him!"

"So? Are we doing this?" he smiled at Yuri.

"Hmm…" Yuri squinted. "Yes. We are doing this. But mark my words: this is exclusively for her sake. Don't you dare think I appreciate you!"

"I wasn't expecting much anyways, but I'm glad you agreed to help!"

"How come you don't know what to gift to my sister – your wife?" Yuri said out of the blue.

"His suspicions are back, he really does sounds like a broken record!"

"I think this here list is proof enough that I know what she'd like to have, Yuri. But the thing is… I've only had the privilege of sharing her life for the past two years, whereas you spent almost all your life with her. Nobody knows better than you what she'd like the most out of this list – except for her, of course, but that'd ruin the surprise!"

"No, he's definitely right, as much as it pains me to admit it. If I want my sister to be happy, I have to help this man out. It is my utmost duty."

Thus, Loid Forger and Yuri Briar spent a whole afternoon in the pub, debating gift ideas and party planning suggestions for Yor.


"I'm glad we were able to work this out", Loid said as a final note as they were leaving the pub.

"You know what?" Yuri admitted. "Me too. My sister deserves the best, and I love making sure she gets it!"

Night was still falling early mid-January, and the streetlights were already lit up as they left the bar.

"So, will you come at the party?"

"You'd have to beat the crap out of me to prevent me to."

Loid laughed awkwardly.

They parted ways there, each one going in an opposite direction, walking awkwardly fast.

Yuri reunited with Chloe, who was still standing under the same traffic light. Her cheeks reddened by the cold air and her nose slightly running, she smiled when he noticed her.

"Chloe? You're still here? You could've returned to the headquarters, you know! It's cold, out there!"

"I didn't want to. Who would've saved your dumb ass if you had ended up being jumped by western spies on your way?"

"I can fight my own battles, you know, Chloe. But… thanks."

"Anyways. Did you spend a pleasant afternoon with your dear brother-in-law?" she mockingly smiled.

"Y… I mean no! Absolutely not! Never in a thousand years!" Yuri blushed hard and hoped Chloe would put it down to the cold air.

"Really? Is that so?"

Chloe was second only to Yor when it came to seeing right through Yuri's thick skull.

"Well, I have to admit… this man seems to genuinely care for her. I don't know, I just feel like… I may have let my feelings get the better of me when I first met him?"

"You don't say!" Chloe said ironically.

The sarcasm went over his head.

"Do you want to grab take-away food…"

"I very much would like to!" Chloe blurted out before he could finish his sentence.

"… and finish our reports at the office tonight?"

Her smile turned into a disappointed grimace: Yuri's idea of a date was peculiar, at best. She hid her frown behind her scarf.

"I'm cold."

She slid her hand in Yuri's black coat pocket and intertwined her fingers with his. He gave a light squeeze back. She smiled and huddled against him under the darkening January sky, as they were approaching one of their favourite take-away restaurants.


"You should be glad you made it out of this hornet's nest alive, Twilight."

Nightfall's glance was colder than ever, and even her heels clacking on the concrete of the sidewalk sounded passive-aggressive to Twilight's ears.

"This had to be done, Nightfall. For the mission."

"For the mission?" she raised an eyebrow as they were headed back to the hospital. "Twilight, you're getting too much sentimental! You remember how many fellow agents we've lost over the years to emotion, don't you? And you just walked into a bar and had casual talk with an SSS officer about gifts and birthday parties!"

"All too well. But I assure you… this was for mission purposes only", he lied. "Anyways, thanks for supporting me. I know I can count on you, should there need be."

"Handler would kill on the spot me if I were to let you get caught by the SSS in such a stupid way."

"There was little risk involved, if at all."

"Still a risk. That being said, I was able to gather intel while waiting for you in the library across the street. Agent Yuri Briar was not alone today."

"What do you mean?"

"He came with a woman who waited for him near a traffic light at the crossroads down the street. The woman waited there for the whole afternoon and they left together after the both of you came out of the pub. And before he entered, I saw them exchanging hand signs. Twilight, I'm sure this woman is also an SSS agent who tagged along as a back-up, in case things went south!"

"Are you sure of this?"

"Pretty much. None of our intel pertaining to the SSS has mentions of that girl, but she could be a new recruit…"

"Well, she has to be… I don't think Yuri Briar has female friends to begin with, let alone a girlfriend!"

They were about to enter the hospital.

"Out of curiosity, Twilight… which gift did Yuri Briar deemed the best for his sister?"

"Hmm, actually… we haven't decided yet. We're due for another meeting in two days from now, at the same place."


The next rendezvous went quite easier than the first: to strangers' eyes, the two of them almost looked like a pair of old chaps that just reunited after having lost touch for a decade – albeit a pair of old chaps that sometimes looked like they were going to jump at each other's throat. The truth was much more complicated than that, and the second meeting of the self-proclaimed Yor's 28th Birthday Party Planning Committee did not go as well as Loid would have wanted it to. Although Yuri managed to behave much more courteously, he still failed to agree with most of his brother-in-law's ideas as to said party. As it turned out, Yuri wanted to host a big dinner in a fancy restaurant while Loid wanted a simple party in small committee at home. The brother wanted a plethora of gifts, Loid wanted one meaningful surprise per guest. In fact, they were on frontal opposition about almost everything.

"Look, I thought this was going well, but I see you're back at contradicting everything I say", Loid sighed.

"I'm not! It's just that this is not how I'd throw my sister a surprise birthday party, that's all!"

"Yuri, listen. Yor is my wife now. It's not that she belongs to me anyhow, but if someone is to have the last word as to her birthday party, it has got to be her husband… that is to say, me. Am I not the one who reached out to you in the first place? The one who came up with so many gift ideas that I sought help from a man that despises me?"

"Fine…" Yuri sighed with a sideways glance that send a shiver down Loid's spine: it was awfully reminiscent of Yor's full-of-gripes face. "Do as you wish. As long as you invite me…"

"That's already settled: of course you're invited! I can't imagine Yor having fun on her birthday without her brother!"

"Now that you mention it… I have something to ask of you, Loid Forger. Can I... can I bring someone with me?"

Loid's eyes immediately narrowed as he noticed that his brother-in-law had ever so slightly blushed as he was looking away at the counter.

"So that woman really is his girlfriend after all! Sounds like Nightfall made a mistake."

"I don't know about that", Loid pouted with the intention of forcing Yuri to reveal his hand. "Anya's afraid around strangers and I don't want her to feel ill-at-ease at her mother's birthday party."

"Well, this person is… I mean… I… I don't think she'll remain a stranger to you for a long while…"

"Why the fuck am I telling him about Chloe? I haven't even told Yor yet! Hell, even our co-workers aren't aware of us!"

Truth be told, almost everyone in their department knew about their blossoming romance, even though they had indeed managed to keep it completely secret for the first two months until the cat got out of the bag, as they got caught kissing on the way out of the Ministery.

"You are planning on introducing your girlfriend to us at the party, aren't you?"

Loid stared at him, hands crossed before his mouth to hide his amused smile.

"Wh-what are you? A mind reader?!" Yuri stuttered.

"No. Just a plain old psychiatrist. With many of his patients being men having troubles expressing their feelings towards women. So? Have I guessed right?"

"… You have… But you absolutely must not, under any pretext, tell Yor about it!"

"Your secret is not mine to reveal. It is safe with me."

Yuri sighed out of relief and laid back on the booth seat.

"So? Is it okay? Can I bring Chloe to the party?"

"Let's not forget to have Nightfall run this name through our list of known SSS agents."

"I should like to meet her beforehand, but the party's coming up soon and the both of you probably have matters to attend to. But the short answer is that yes, I don't see any problem with you bringing your girlfriend. You don't have the slightest idea how excited Yor is going to be!"

"Do you think she'll react well…?"

"Definitely better than you did when you found out she married me. I think she'll be thrilled to meet her!"

Little did they know that it would turn out to be one of the biggest understatements they ever agreed to.


The week went on quietly. Yor's birthday was on the 27th and since it was on a Friday, the party was to take place the same day after work. Loid busied himself so much with preparations pertaining to the party – he spent an entire day looking for the perfect birthday cake in several of Berlint's most renowned cake shops – that he eventually forgot about the single most important thing: Yor's gift. He bolted awake on Thursday morning, realizing how dire the situation was. He remembered that he had finally made his mind on what to get for Yor, but that he also had no idea where such an item could be bought in Berlint – not from a department store, that was for sure. Even Yuri, despite being well-acquainted with said kind of item, did not know if there were even shops or craftsmen in Berlint making these anymore.
And when Twilight needed answers to his questions, there was only one place where he would go.

"Hey, who do you think I am? An informant or a tourist office receptionist?" Franky scowled.

Twilight gave his friend a black stare. "An informant, and this request is for mission-related purposes only."

"You don't say! Well, to be honest I have no idea whether such a shop exists in Berlint or not." The tobacconist scratched his chin as Twilight looked at him in dismay. "But I know someone who might have the answer! Hold on for a second, let me just call him real quick…"

Franky went to the back of his shop, where the phone was located, and Twilight could soon hear his muffled voice as he spoke to a contact. The informant came back with a victorious smile, and handed the spy a piece of paper.

"Go to that address. Apparently, it's a shop run by an old man – the last of its kind not only in Berlint, but in the whole Lander!"

"You're a life-saver, Franky."

"That's my job!" he congratulated himself, rubbing his nose with a proud expression on his face.

"Will you join us tomorrow evening for the party?"

"I would've loved to, but I'm already taken elsewhere… I'll make sure to stop by Saturday in the afternoon, just to check if there's any leftover cake!"

"To be honest, it's probably better…" Loid bent over the counter to whisper at his friend. "Yuri's coming with his girlfriend, so I have no idea how it'll end up!"

Twilight left his friends' store and walked down the street, filled with glee. It looked like his plan was finally going to work!

The address that Franky provided led him in a gloomy alleyway, deep in what remained of Berlint's medieval streets. Houses still looked like they came straight out of the Middle-Ages, and he almost feared that cutthroats would jump him any minute and ask him for his money or his life. But nothing of that sort came his way and he entered the shop unharmed.
It was a small shop nested at the bottom of a tilted medieval house, with a bright façade adorned with sophisticated wooden sculptures. A set of crooked stone stairs led to the entrance, and above the door was a sign that read Ehrenbaum & Sons – cabinetmakers. He noticed that & Sons was crossed with red paint. Upon entering the dimly-lit, narrow shop, he was met with the scent of sap and sawdust. The walls were covered by displays overflowing with sculptures and small decors.

"Hello? Is there anybody?"

No one answered, but he could clearly hear the sound of someone woodworking in the backroom. He stepped forth and stood in the doorway to the backroom: there was an elderly man sitting on a stool in the middle of it, a life-sized, half-finished statue of a woman before him.

"You're blocking the light, please move."

The sculptor spoke without even as much as lifting an eye off his work. Loid obliged and stepped aside, and he saw clearly the man behind the piece of art. He was bald and little remained of his white hair, his face was wrinkled and he sported a large moustache.

"Excuse me to interrupt, I wanted to know if…"

Loid explained his request to the sculptor, who looked like he was not paying any attention at all. He then took the set of photos Loid handed him after describing his request, and looked carefully: these were portraits of the Forger family.

"How soon do you want them to be ready?" he asked, thoughtfully scratching his chin.

"By tonight. Tomorrow morning at the latest."

"Are you kidding me, you damned fool?"

The old man's eyes looked like they were going to cast thunder at Loid.

"I beg you. I'll pay you twice – no, thrice the price to have them ready for tomorrow! Please, don't make me implore you!"

"You have no idea how long it takes to make these, all alone."

Loid did not let the opportunity to take the old man by the feelings pass him by.

"Is this why you barred "& Sons" on your sign? They are no longer working with you?"

"That's correct. The scoundrels, the scallywags, the goods for nothing! They couldn't care less about woodworking. They worked with me for a while, but city life soon got the better of them and I've been alone for nearly two decades now. I'll probably retire this year and move back to the country, and quietly enjoy my latter years by the mountains carving figures out of sticks with a pocket knife. Ain't no one in the big city that takes interest in an old man's outdated nielsberger sculptures no more!"

Loid coughed politely. "My wife is actually from eastern Nielsberg, and that's kind of the reason why I came to your shop for her birthday gift. I'm sure that she'd love one that would remind her of the happy childhood she spent there, before the war broke out!"

"It's true that we weren't spared by the war", sighed the old man. "But if you wife is one to appreciate such work, then it changes everything!" His eyes narrowed. "How much were you willing to pay, already?"

"Thrice the price. Hell, five times if it means I can have them by tomorrow!"

"Go for three times. They'll be ready for tomorrow at eleven in the morning, or my name isn't Eberhardt Eherenbaum!"

"Deal."


Yor woke up early on the 27th of January. It was a cold and grey morning, the world still soaked from the rain that fell overnight. Despite being her birthday, it was to Yor Forger a day like any other: events of the past decades had forced her to quickly grow out of parties and gifts. Going through her morning routine in the bathroom, she looked at her face in the mirror. No new wrinkle had magically popped up during the night, despite that she just turned twenty-eight, and she let out a relieved sigh.

"I'm twenty-eight today… Yet nothing's changed. My day is going to go as usual at the office, except if Shopkeeper commissions me with a "client" … Then I'll get back home and after the civil servant work will come the housewife work. Loid said he would be overburdened at the hospital today, so I don't think he'll have time to help me with the chores… Good thing I'm able to leave early on Fridays, I should have time to clean the house and do the laundry before dinner time!"

It could have sounded to an outsider that the 27th of January was going to be a most depressing and uneventful day for her, but it was worth noting that Yor Forger was probably the only woman in the whole city of Berlint who actually took pleasure at the idea of having house chores to attend to after her work… even on her very birthday!

"But this is going to my first birthday with Anya and Loid, so it'll be special no matter what!" she then smiled. "The first birthday of many, I hope…!" she blushed and hurried with her routine.

Little did she knew that Loid had lied to her about being crushed with work… because he had taken the day off, as to prepare every single thing needed to have her spent a memorable birthday party. He still had a vivid memory of the surprise party she had thrown him last month – with the help of Anya and Franky – so it only felt right to him (so-called "mission purposes") to pay her back with an even bigger surprise party and wholesome gift. Tugging at his brand-new decorated tie pins – one of those Yor had gotten him – his gaze lovingly followed her as she was about to leave the house for work. He did not notice the squinted eyes that his daughter pointed at him from across the living-room table, where she was finishing her breakfast.

"Are you sick, papa?"

"Why would I? I'm perfectly fine!"

"Your eyes look funny…"

"They certainly do not!" Loid retorted, flustered all of a sudden.

She trotted around the table and came next to him, so as to whisper in his ear with a grin. "Are you in love with mama?"

He spat some coffee on the breakfast trail. "Wh-what? No!"

"What's wrong with this kid? I'm just doing this for the mission, is it not obvious?"

"But the way you look at her…" Anya was still clinging to his arm.

Yor was humming cheerfully as she was putting on her shoes, near the door: she could not hear them as they were still whispering. She looked up at her husband and daughter, who were seemingly bickering while finishing breakfast, and smiled. They meant so much to her that she had not even the first idea to express it.

"You've been watching Berlint in Love again, haven't you?" he loudly scolded her, though with false severity as it was meant to dismiss Yor's doubts if she had heard them. "This is getting to your head! Maybe a week-end without any television will benefit you."

He knew he had won when Anya looked at him with utter shock. "Don't take too much time to finish your breakfast, young lady. I have to drop you off to school before heading off to work."

"You're not going to work, liar liar liar! You're staying home all day to make mama's birthday!"

Saying – or rather thinking – that Loid was going to stay home all day was not exactly true, because he still had party business to attend to in town, chiefly getting the gift at the sculptor's shop, but it did not prevent Anya from pouting and sulking on the way to school.

"It's my mama's birthday today and papa's lying to her to make her happy" was how she saluted Becky near the gates.

"Really? It's your mother's birthday? How old is she?"

"Tweeny-eight."

"She's young! That's why she's so beautiful!" Becky exclaimed, before picking up on the other half of the sentence. "Hey, what do you mean your father is lying to her as to make her happy? That's not very gentlemanly of my Loid!"

"He said he was going to work today, but he is not! He is staying at home to prepare a surprise party for her!"

"How romantic!" Becky's eyes shone as she held her hands before her mouth. "Is your father a Berlint in Love enthusiast?"

"What?"

"That's what happened in an episode earlier this week! One of the guys went really out of his way to throw a surprise birthday party for the girl he was in love with, and she said yes!" the little girl yelled, before grabbing her friends by the shoulders. "Oh Anya, she said yes!"

"Yes to what?" Anya wondered to herself. "Becky's complicated sometimes… and so are grown-ups' shows! Bondman is simpler, thus better."

"Does that mean that my papa is in love with my mama?" Anya's eyes glittered with hope.

"Oh… I hadn't thought of that…" Becky's gloomed. "Well… That's a probability, for sure. If he's going really out of his way for her, that means he's really head over heels!"

"What do you mean going out of his way? Papa always does that."

"He what now?"

"He rarely ever goes to work using the same route two days in a row."

Becky facepalmed. "It's not what going out of his way means here! It's like, if he's getting her a really really meaningful or rare gift that took him time or effort to find, instead of just buying her clothes, jewellery or kitchenware like all men do!"


Once home alone at last, Loid allowed himself a brief moment of relaxation before going on his day as a househusband. He sat down in front of the television and watched fifteen or twenty minutes of teleshopping broadcasts.
"How is that in any way appealing to women?" he thought, as he was watching the hosts demonstrate run-of-the-mill kitchenware items. "Well, time to get moving. The craftsman said I could come by eleven… accounting for the ride, that leaves me nearly an hour." He stood up and looked around him. There was much to do.

He managed to dust off the whole apartment before time came to leave for the shop. Bond scratched near the door when he was about to leave, and the dog needed not to go on for long before his master produced the leash from a nearby shelf. The two of them went on the streets, facing gusts of rainy January wind.

"As promised, here they are!" Eberhardt Ehrenbaum proudly announced while he handed Loid a wooden coffer adorned with an antiquated brass lock.

It seemed ancient, but heavy and sturdy. The hinges resisted a little when he lifted the lid. There it was, the gift he had ordered in a terrible rush no later than the day before. And it was magnificent. Some would have deemed it kitsch, but he was terribly proud of his own idea. Despite working with limited time, the artist managed to surpass every expectation his customer had.

"I was told you were a competent craftsman", Loid let out as he was carefully taking the gift out of its velvet-covered box. "But I have been lied to: this is far below the truth! You're a legend. I truly wonder how you managed to achieve such perfection, given in how little time I wanted you to finish the job."

He then opened the gift itself, and kept praising the old man's work.

"This is not the kind of gift husbands usually get for their wives", he said with an amused look. "Is she a collector?"

"Not at all. It's just that… truth be told, I came to you only yesterday but I have been deciding – well, trying to decide – on her gift for nearly a month and a half. And I figured this would be the one she'd love the most. Of course I thought of fancy rings, necklaces, clothes, expansive perfumes, but she's not that kind of woman, not at all. She's simple, with a sincere mind and a heart thrice her size, the kindest soul there is out there in this cruel world. And I wanted to get her a gift that would convey her how much I value her selflessness and contributions to our family, but you see… I'm not quite at ease with verbalising my feelings, so…"

"You sure are with me now!" the craftsman laughed heartily.

Loid smiled and admitted his defeat. "Well, at least I am with her!"

"Ain't no man at ease telling how he feels to the woman he loves!"

"I'm not –" he started to blurt, before swallowing unnecessary words.

"She's very dear to you, that's blindingly obvious." Eberhardt twirled his moustache. "You see, I think that's why I accepted this last-minute order in the first place. Ever since you told me what you wanted yesterday, I knew that this woman was very special to you. And that, from man to man, is a sacred feeling I dare not betray."

Loid smiled but remained quiet, and put the gift back in its box.

"That'll be three hundred, rounded down."

"It feels like I'm stealing you. You look so tired! I should…"

"I always do. And if you feel guilty… you already know where to purchase next year's gift!"

Loid's day went as planned. He carefully wrapped his and Anya's gift, and hid them in a closet, already grinning in anticipation of his wife's reaction.
He was well aware of her working schedule and commute time and with that data had made a mental time chart to plan the chores down to the minute, so as to be as efficient as possible. He managed to get all the cleaning done before half past one, so he could get started with the cooking and have most of it done before she would unsuspectingly get back from work. Anya was supposed to get back from school at around half past four, and Yor not before six. She was usually heading home early on Friday afternoons, around three or half past three, so he had to go out of his way to keep the field clear. Really, really far out of his way.

For indeed, he had commissioned Yor's colleagues to take her to the pub for a birthday drink after work. Thanks to his connections at the hospital, he had managed to reach out to Camilla at the city hall – since she seemed the one Yor felt the closest to – and ask her the favour. Although she had seemed reluctant at first – she was still acting like she could not care for Yor – he had managed to change her mind with just the right amount of reverse psychology. "A surprise party before the surprise party. My plan is perfect!"


Yuri spent all day throwing anxious glances back and forth at the wall clock in Chloe's living-room and at the gift they bought for his sister. He had finished preparing himself long ago while his girlfriend had not even decided what she would wear at the party, and time was passing excruciatingly slow as he was waiting for the time to leave for the Forger residence.

"Don't overdress!" he shouted so that Chloe could hear him from her room. "It's only a birthday party, no need to be all dolled up!"

"Says the one who spent two hours choosing his tie!" she retorted back. "And this is the first time I'll meet your dear sister, I'm not going in work clothes!"

Yuri heard some noise coming from her room, and a minute later his girlfriend appeared in the doorway.

She posed in front of him, showing the outfit she had set her mind on. "What do you think of this?"

Yuri had to gather his thoughts for a second before being able to produce an intelligible answer.

"Very pretty! That's what I had in mind when I told you not to overdress."

She blushed and ran to the bathroom. "Makeup time!"

Yuri sighed, for he knew how long she could spend before the mirror only to end up with the most unremarkable makeup ever. Anxiety grew within him as the big hand was closing in on four o'clock.

"Don't forget we have to be there for half past five at the latest, and that there's a twenty minutes ride between here and Park Avenue!"

"I know! Stop pestering me!"

"I hope I'll be able to keep his unhealthy obsession with his sister in check…" Chloe thought while searching through her makeup closet. "It's getting better, but I fear he ends up relapsing!"

Yuri was now lying on the couch and staring at the white ceiling. "I hope sis-sis won't mind if I focus on my girlfriend more than on her, now… I have to show Chloe that I am a grown man now!"

Yuri had spent the week rehearsing thousands of lines to address Yor while looking less obsessed than he used to be. He had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he needed to let go of his unhealthy obsession – both for his sister's and girlfriend's sakes – but he had made his peace: it was more than time to move on. He was fully aware, however, how difficult it would be to pull off and the birthday party would be his baptism by fire.


As it turned out, Yor's workday was not exactly uneventful and boring. Her colleagues welcomed her with a "happy birthday!" and she noticed that they had hung a couple decorations on their office's walls, so as to bring a little cheerfulness in the workspace. That did not in the least prevent their higher-ups from assigning them with a lot of paperwork that had to be done before the week-end, but the mood was light as the four of them diligently spent the morning sorting files, sending out letters and checking bills. It dawned on Yor that this was the first time her colleagues did more than a simple "happy birthday!" since she started working with them, and her heart swelled at the thought that she had really started getting along with them after marrying Loid.
At lunch, they surprised her with a cake, a small one that Millie had purchased at a convenience store on her way to work, but still a birthday cake nonetheless. After blowing the single candle planted on top of it, Yor had to fight back her tears as Camilla was cutting the cake in four shares. It turned out okay, albeit a bit too dry, but she could not care less: every mouthful tasted like friendship and good memories to be made.

"To think that no later than a year ago, I was barely on speaking terms with them…!"

As the big hand was almost on three o'clock, they were getting ready to leave the office and were packing their things.

"See you Monday!" Yor smiled at them, about to leave the first.

"Where do you think you're going, birthday girl?" Camilla planted in front of the door. "Let's go grab a drink! The four of us!"

"Where am I going? Home! I have chores to attend to before Loid gets home!"

Sharon smiled. "If anyone had ever told me that you, of all people, would become the most dedicated housewife…!"

"You can't be serious! It's your goddamned birthday today!" Camilla resumed. "It's not the 1950s anymore! You don't have to spend your whole life doing housework, especially when it's your birthday! You're turning twenty-eight only once!"

"But I love housework!" Yor, distraught, protested and tried to pass by Camilla still blocking the door. "I love being useful to my family! That's the thing I do best… well, I try to!"

"Well then, today you'll make yourself useful by having a bit of afterwork fun with your colleagues!"

"Don't worry, it'll be fine!" Sharon added.

Millie barged in. "And if your husband is unhappy about his clothes not ironed and folded, tell him to do it himself!"

"He already does most of the time, as a matter of fact. I'm mostly just cleaning around the house and doing the laundry, but that still takes a lot of time!"

"Then he'll just have to sweep the house and dust the furniture on top of that! He's got two arms and two legs, he can surely manage this much on his own, doesn't he?"

"Are you sure he's not going to be mad at me?" Yor seemed like she was about to cry.

Camilla pinched the bridge of her nose. "If he loves you, he won't! And if he does gets mad, just tell us and we'll have a little talk with him. See? It's okay! Now let's go on, we don't have all day!"

Yor still did not look very convinced.

"Why the Hell don't I just tell her I'm doing this because her husband asked me to? That'd be so much simpler!" Camilla pondered, then decided against spilling the beans.

"What is that?" Yor wondered, looking at the plain white envelope Sharon had handed her over the table.

"Your birthday gift, duh!" Camilla looked like she was about to need another cocktail sooner than later.

Yor fidgeted it, perplexed. "My… birthday gift?"

"From the three of us", Sharon added. "We chipped in so as to get you a common gift."

"To be honest", Millie started after putting down her glass, "we had no idea what to get you, so… hope you'll like it!"

"Have you ever had birthday gifts before?" Camilla asked, squinting so hard her eyes were nearly closed.

"A long time ago. It was…" Yor said, as she was opening the envelope and pulling out its content. "What… what is that?" She narrowed her eyes and took a close look at the piece of paper she had pulled. "Gift… certificate? What does that mean?"

Her three colleagues exchanged a dumbfounded look.

Sharon explained it. "It means that you can use it as payment at the designated shop, for the designated amount of money."

"We couldn't decide on a good gift, so we just figured out it would be best if you choose your own gift… I know, it's pretty lame but we'd rather give you this than nothing at all!" Millie added.

But Yor did not respond. Her eyes were going back and forth between Camilla's smiling face and the gift certificate, for she had recognized the brand name printed on it.

"C-C-Camilla!" she stuttered, having a hard time to gather her thoughts. "This… this is for the lingerie shop from last time!"

"Of course it is! Don't lie, I know that deep inside, you enjoyed it when I took you there two weeks ago!" Camilla seemed to take much pride of her idea.

Yor blushed and nodded, then hid her face in her hands. "Th-thank you…"

"Looks like Yor isn't the only one getting a gift!" Millie implied with a cunning smile.

"Oh my God, I have to hurry or Loid is going to be so mad at me!" thought Yor, as she was running on her way back home.

She could already picture her husband having tons of gripes at her, just like she did to him a few months ago, and the mere thought made her go faster.

In fact, she was already running so fast that passers-by turned around as she passed, looking in amazement at what they had just witnessed. The four civil servants had stayed at the bar for nearly two hours, and it was almost six o'clock when Yor finally reached Park Avenue and came in sight of her building.

"If I'm lucky, he hasn't left work yet and I'm going to get home first!"

She climbed the stairs four by four, and allowed herself a short break so as to catch her breath and compose her appearance if she were to walk in on Loid being home already. She opened the door, and let out a relieved sigh: there was no light inside. But it immediately raised her concerns, as Anya should have been home by now.

"I'll call the Blackbells, maybe she's with Becky!"

She reached out for the lights. At the moment she turned the switch on, a pair of voices shouted something and two silhouettes jumped, a tall one from the kitchen doorway on the left and a small one from the corridor on the right.

"Happy birthd…"

Yor started and shrieked out of surprise, and instinctively whacked with her handbag the nearest home intruder, who went down on the floor with a loud thud. Then only, she noticed that it was no other than… her husband.

"Mama!" Anya exclaimed, tears already coming to her eyes as she rushed to her father's side. "You murderized papa!"

Yor gasped and fell on her knees next to her knocked-out husband.

"Loid! Loid! Please wake up! I did not mean to hurt you, it was an accident!"

The first thing Loid felt when coming back to his senses was a sharp pain in his head. He slowly opened his eyes and saw two people kneeling next to him. Their voices, muffled at first, became clearer and louder as he was emerging.

"… papa! You're not dead!" Anya shouted, laughing and crying at the same time.

"Oh Loid, I'm so sorry!" Yor wept and hugged him tightly as he sat up on the ground.

It felt like his brain was about to explode, but that was not because of the hit. Realising her ear was next to his mouth, he took the chance and whispered in it. "Happy birthday, Yor."

He felt her shiver in his arms and she pushed back, blushing. He smiled at her.

"Don't worry, I'm fine!" he added, as she looked ready to burst into tears.

She looked on the decorations hung on the walls, and was reminded of the surprise party she had thrown him for his birthday a month and a half ago.

"That's the least I can do for you", explained Loid. "The birthday party you prepared for me felt really special, so I wanted… I wanted to return you the favour. I wanted to give you a special day, too."

"Loid, you really don't have to…"

"Except I have to", he interrupted her. "In fact, I don't feel like I do enough for you, so I did all your share of the housework on top of mine, and the cooking, and the party-planning, so all you have left to do is to change into casual clothes and enjoy the rest of you day. Your birthday."

"Loid, I… I'm so grateful…!"

They both got lost in each other's eyes, their reddened faces dangerously close to one another, so close they could almost feel their breaths. Anya was looking at them with eyes wide open, holding her breath in fear that the slightest sound she would make could interrupt the moment. She usually liked to tease them by asking if they were going to kiss, but since it looked like they actually were about to kiss this time, she could not help but stare in silence.

"God, I hope we're not too late!"

The thought she heard was not coming from their apartment, but from the building's hallway, and she recognized Yuri's voice. He would be there any minute, and only God knew how hard he would snap if he walked in on her sister making out with her husband. As much as it pained the little girl to interrupt such a precious moment, she had to do something.

"Papa! Papa!" she nodded at the door, trying to catch his attention. "Guests! They're coming"

"Guests?" Yor wondered.

Loid stood up, straightened his hair and clothes, and helped her stand up. "There's no surprise birthday party without a family dinner, isn't it?"

"I guess there isn't", she smiled back at him. "How lucky I am to have met this man…!" she caught herself thinking, as she removed her raincoat and went to her room to change into her casual clothes.

As she walked out a few minutes later, much more at ease in her signature red sweater, she heard someone knock on the door.

"Come in, come in!" Loid said.

"Happy birthday, sister!" Yuri yelled as he jumped through the doorway, holding in his hands a brightly-wrapped gift.

As he trotted to his sister, he met eyes with Loid and they cast thunder at each other. Yuri's expression changed back to absolute glee when he finally got to hug her sister, who was very happy to have him attending her birthday party.

"You look tired, Yuri", she said after breaking the hug. "You're not getting enough sleep lately, are you?"

He was about to answer when Yor gasped, as she had only just acknowledged the presence of a second guest that awkwardly stood in the doorway, a guest that was probably the reason behind Yuri's lack of sleep. It was a cute-looking girl who appeared the same age as him, with red hair and big eyes.

"Hello, Mrs. Forger!" said Chloe, trying her best not to make the situation more awkward than it already was. "I'm so glad to meet you at last! You don't have the first idea how often Yuri tells me about you!"

Yor had a hard time putting two and two together. She looked at the unexpected guest from head to toe, then at Yuri, then back at her, then back at him, and she gasped when the dots connected in her mind.

"Yuri…! Yuri…! Is she…?"

Before he even had time to nod, Yor ran past him to the woman who was still standing in the doorway, and cupped her hands into hers.

"You are Yuri's girlfriend?!" she asked, with the most excited smile ever.

Chloe felt her hands hurt a bit from the pressure, but did not show it. "Yes, I believe I am!"

Thus, Yor shrieked in excitation under anxious glances from her brother and her husband. "Oh my God, you're so pretty! Are you two colleagues? How long have you been together? How and where have you met?"

"It's rare to see her this talkative while sober!" Loid thought, amused, as Chloe was opening up to Yor and started to answer her questions.

He then threw a content look at Yuri, as if to say "I told you so!", and the diplomat let out a relieved sigh. Everything had gone as planned – so far.

"Well, we are indeed working together at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, but we actually got together during a diplomatic trip to Obuda, a couple months ago!"

Loid froze at the mention, for he remembered all too well the last time someone mentioned to him a trip to Ugaria's capital city.

"For goodness' sake, don't tell me that…"

"And as a matter of fact, I still had wine from there so I figured I wouldn't come in empty-handed for my first meeting with the Forgers!"

She produced a bottle from her handbag, wrapped in a sheet of newspaper on which Loid's eyes were keenly focused. The paper went off in the process, and Loid's heart sank: it was a bottle of ugarian tokar… the same Yuri had brought when he first visited, after one of these trips in the neighbouring country's capital city, purchased from the same wine merchant… the same template cover story, all over again.

Anya looked at the three adults, with a mix of anxiousness and excitation. "Another secret police officer? How cool! But I hope papa won't get caught…"

"I am going to die", thought Loid as it dawned on him that there were not only one but two distinct SSS officers under his roof at the same time. "I am going to die and I haven't even had the courage to tell Yor yet that I–"


As it turned out, Chloe got along pretty well with Yor despite initial fears on everyone's side. The latter was absolutely thrilled to meet her brother's girlfriend, even though she did not even know he had one before she stepped in the Forger household, and the former was just as enthusiastic since it appeared Yor was absolutely not jealous about the situation. She dearly loved her brother, there was no denying it, and she was already loving his girlfriend.

"Remember: Yor must not, under any circumstances, learn that we are SSS officers! Don't let anything slip!" Yuri's words were stuck in Chloe's mind as she was talking with Yor.

It was not very different with the latter, who under a cheerful façade was totally stressed out at the idea of screwing up. "Act normal, Yor, act normal! Don't forget you're an ordinary wife with an ordinary job, and absolutely not a contract-killer!"

An idea popped suddenly in her mind, as she was telling to Chloe how Yuri looked, when he was younger. "Hey, I have something to show you!"

She left the couch on which the two of them had sat down earlier, and rushed to her room. Loid and Yuri exchanged a concerned look: what was she up to? The answer appeared soon when she came back, holding a photo album against her chest.

"It's…!" Yuri gasped, recognizing the cover. "You still have it!"

"I must absolutely prevent her from showing it to Chloe, but how am I going to do without looking suspicious?!"

"Of course I still have your childhood photo album!" Yor smiled at him. "It's one of my most precious belongings!"

Loid picked up his brother-in-law's distraught and tried to back him up. "Yor darling, is it the best time for this? Shouldn't we…"

"There's no way I'm not showing Chloe all of Yuri's childhood pictures!" she exclaimed, so excited she did not even pick up the "darling" part.

Truth be told, Chloe was quite thrilled at the prospect of seeing her boyfriend's pictures, and as Yor was sitting down next to her, she immediately opened the album.

"Our parents had a camera, when we were little", Yor explained. "Film roll was expansive and we couldn't find it anymore after the war broke out… but there's still a lot of pictures from before!"

Yuri tried to look inconspicuously over their shoulders. "Hey, this is kind of embarrassing…"

"You were so cute, back then!" retorted Yor. "I remember the day you were born, I was so happy I cried!"

As a matter of fact, the first pages in the album were displaying photos of a black-haired baby that soon started to cling to his elder sister as he was gradually growing up from one page to the next. Yuri sent a distraught glance at his brother-in-law, hoping he could intervene: Loid shrugged it off, as if to say "there's nothing we can do now!".

"Chihuaha girl! Don't look at these, it's already quite embarrassing without you laughing at my childhood pictures!" he yelled, as Anya was taking a seat next to her mother on the couch.

She paid no attention to her uncle, and gazed instead at the pictures. Many of them depicted a smiling little girl – her mother, obviously: the likeness was unmistakable – holding in her arms a baby Yuri, and in every picture she seemed filled with joy while the infant was demonstrating a wide range of emotions from one picture to another.

"Mama really loves being a big sister, doesn't she?" Anya thought, considering how her mother was smiling as much on the pictures than for real. Chloe was smiling, too, but the little girl was really captivated by the beaming smile her mother displayed.

"Mama? Mama?"

"What is it, Anya?" Yor answered when her daughter finally caught her attention by tugging on her arm.

"Will I get to be a big sister too, someday?" she most innocently asked, totally oblivious – for once – as to the insinuations of such a question.

Loid spat all over the table the coffee he was drinking. "I'm dead!"

Yuri squinted and scrutinized Loid, looking for the slightest hint of discomfort. "If he ever as much as entertains a single sinful thought concerning Yor, I'm having him arrested and executed on the spot!" He then caught the disagreeing glance his girlfriend threw at him, as if to say "we've already discussed this beforehand: no fuss while at the party!".

Anya looked dumbfounded as she heard everyone's thought crashing into her mind at the same time, and understood a bit too late what her question implied. She turned at her mother, who looked surprisingly composed despite the commotion.

"I can't look flustered in front of them, or Yuri will get suspicious again! It's something married couples do, don't they?" Yor thought while maintaining a calm façade despite being very flustered deep inside. "It's not that I don't want to… It's extremely embarrassing!"

"Maybe someday, yes… you'll get to be a big sister just like I was with Yuri!" she smiled so brightly that Loid and Yuri could barely look at her.

Her husband felt his chest beating like a drum. "This woman will be the end of me…"


"Tell me, how have you two met?" Chloe asked, putting down her fork. "Yuri never told me. In fact, from what he told me about you two, I always thought you two hated each other… but I see it's the exact opposite!"

"That's not true! Totally untrue!" Yuri denied in panic, as the Forger spouses questioningly glanced at him.

Loid was about to answer when he noticed Yor suddenly blushed and looked away. "Why is she embarrassed about our first meeting – a story we've told countless times – whereas a couple minutes ago, she implied having children with me without as much as batting an eye?"

Then, to his surprise, Yor composed herself and told the story from her point-of-view. He feared that she would slip and reveal details that would expose their fake marriage, but he underestimated her memory for good things that happened to her.

"I wish you were this romantic!" Chloe teased Yuri.

"And you two?" Yor asked.

Chloe's chest rose with pride, as she boasted. "Well, I'm the one who took matters into my own hands."

Yuri looked away, too embarrassed to meet his sister's gaze as Chloe told their own cover story. A shame, because she was glancing back and forth at the two of them with a very affectionate look, the one of a mother fondly witnessing her child growing into adulthood.

"I'm so glad you found someone…" Yor let out with a tear in the corner of her eye. "I feared that…"

"That he'd never overcome his obsession over you?" Chloe blatantly stated, though not seeking to offence anybody.

"Yes." Yor answered straight away, and then smiled at her. "I'm glad he found you. You're a decent young woman, and I'm sure the two of you will make each other happy."

Loid stood exactly still, as if he hoped he would remain an unseen prey between two apex predators clashing. "What is even going on in this house?"

"And I will never thank you enough for having cared for Yuri on your own all these years. I'm not sure he would've turned out the fine man he is now, if it weren't for you."

At first, it could have seemed to outsiders that the two sisters-in-law were about to jump at each other's throat, but it almost immediately turned into exchanging praises and throwing disguised compliments at Yuri. Loid sighed and relaxed, as well as Anya whose powers helped her gauge the atmosphere much better than her uncle, who just blushed and sported an idiot look when Chloe called him "a fine man".

"Should we open the gifts now, or after dessert?" Loid asked, standing up to clear empty trays from the table.

"Now! Now! Now!" Anya yelled excitedly. "Mama, do you wanna open your gifts?!"

"Yes, I do!" she answered, contaminated by her daughter's enthusiasm.

"In that case, allow me to be the first one to give you a present!" Yuri declared, standing up in a hurry.

"Fine, very fine. Let's save the best till last." Loid thought, pleased that his brother-in-law jumped on the chance. He then noticed that were not one but two empty bottles of red wine on the table, and that the Briar siblings' glasses were almost empty. "This smells like trouble…"

Yor seemed alright so far, but Yuri's face was noticeably redder than before the dinner: he was clearly starting to get drunk.

"Where's…" Yuri muttered, unable to remember where he had put the gift.

"On a shelf near the entrance!" Chloe came to his rescue. "Yuri, you're drunk already?!"

"No, I'm not!" he let out, before a hiccup seized him as he clumsily walked to the door.

Everyone anxiously looked at him as he was walking back to the table, as if he could have tripped any second, but he managed to sit down without breaking anything. He admittedly had a little too much wine during the dinner, but was not drunk out of his mind – yet.

"Happy birthday, sister!"

Even Loid felt his heart twitch a little while looking at the bright smile Yuri addressed his sister. She took the gift while thanking him and proceeded to unwrap it: it was a brand-new Polaroid camera.

"A camera?! It's expansive!"

"From the two of us", Chloe explained.

"Mama! You're going to make an album with me?" Anya rejoiced.

"You bet I am!" her mother answered, as she had opened the box and was already handling the device, unaware of the pair of blue eyes that fondly looked at her.

"It's true that a family photo album will be a very convincing proof that we're a real family, should we have suspicious guests", he thought while staring at her. "Well, regardless of anything cover-related… I think I'd like having pictures of Anya before she grows up too fast."

A strong white flash blinded him unannounced and for a split second, he thought they were being assaulted. As it turned out, it was only Yor that had tried her gift by pointing it at him.

"What are you doing?!" he exclaimed, still blinded. "You surprised me!"

"If I'm to use this camera to keep good memories, then I have to start with the people I love the most!" she explained, as she proceeded to take pictures of Anya and then of Yuri and Chloe.

The pictures turned kind of awkward – everyone was not ready and had red eyes due to the flash – but they nevertheless were to make it to the first page of the Forger family photo album.

"My gift! It's my turn!" Anya exclaimed, presenting a small box to her mother.

"How cute of you!" she exclaimed, a tear coming to her eyes, as she unwrapped it.

It was a white mug very similar to the one Anya had gifted to her father on his birthday, with the letters world's best mom written on it.

"How lame and unoriginal, chihuaha girl…"

"I wanted to give you a flower bouquet but papa suggested you'd like having the same mug as him!" she said with a large smile, unaware of the shocked look her father threw her upon hearing these words: he had indeed suggested the idea when they were shopping for her gift the previous week, but had also told her not to reveal that it had come from him.

"That's really sweet of you!" Yor kissed her daughter on the forehead, while throwing an affectionate glance at Loid who was doing his best to look composed. She stood up and went to the kitchen to put her mug on the counter and display it right next to Loid's: the world's best dad was now reunited with his wife, the world's best mom.

"How romantic!" thought Chloe. "I hope Yuri's taking notes!"

"I believe it's my turn to give you a birthday present", Loid declared as he stood up, a lump in the throat.

A lump that was not only caused by good emotions: he had lost all confidence in his own gift the second she had unwrapped a Polaroid camera.

"This is bad. My gift is going to suck so hard! What kind of husband gets her wife something this lame?!"

However, he kept a perfect composure as he handed Yor her gift. She put it very carefully on the table, and started to unwrap it.

"I'm excited", she stated. "It's heavy! I wonder what's inside?"

"Probably silverware! How lame and misogynistic of you, Loiloi!"

She unwrapped a wooden coffer, adorned with engravings and a brass lock.

"It's beautiful…" she said, looking at it under every angle with focused eyes.

"The gift is inside, actually!" Loid added hastily, fearing Yor would not open it.

"Oh my God, what have I done?! She's going to cry and Yuri will unleash the entirety of ostanian counter-intelligence services on me!"

Yor carefully opened the box, fearing she could crush the wood if she let out too much strength. Inside the velveted box, there was an oval-shaped wooden pot. She carefully picked it up and held it in the light, revealing it was beautifully painted and was, in fact, depicting someone: the narrower upper end looked like a head on top of a round body, and the artist had painted it in the likeness of a black-haired, red-eyed, pale-skinned woman dressed in traditional Nielsberg clothing.

"It's… it's me?" she observed, genuinely surprised. "Me, as a nielsberger doll?"

"It is. Well, look, if you don't like it, I can see with the craftsman from whom I commissioned it…"

"She's going to divorce you so hard, Forger!"

Such a thought could have sounded to anybody like it came out of Yuri's mind… but Anya knew it was her father's. And she also knew he could not have been more wrong, even if he had tried to.

"It's so beautiful…" Yor thought aloud, looking at it from every side. "You told the artist to paint me prettier than I am!" she added with a laugh.

"Open it!" Yuri stated with curiosity. "If he's a competent husband, he'll know that a nielsberger doll has several other dolls inside, each one smaller than the previous it's encased into!" he mentally added.

"Oh, right!" Yor answered. "It's true we used to have a set of these matryoshka dolls, back in our childhood home… I used to find these creepy, but this one looks so cute!"

"That could have gone worse, I guess…?"

Yor proceeded to open her doll with extreme care, and she gasped as she discovered that the second doll depicted none other than her husband.

"I don't think I've ever been this embarrassed before! Yuri, stop staring at it like it's going to jump at you!"

He wanted to ask Yor how she felt about the gift, but his heart sank when he saw a liquid diamond roll on her reddened cheek.

"I'm dead, that's only a matter of minutes now."

Yor shakily took the Loid doll out of her own one. It was as brilliantly painted as hers, and she had to admit that he looked really good in traditional nielsberger attire. She felt her heart pounding faster, and her vision started to blur as she opened it and discovered a third doll, this time depicting a pink-haired, green-eyed little girl: Anya, of course.

"It's me! I'm so cute!" the latter shouted in excitation.

"Loid, I…" Yor started to say, as she opened the penultimate doll to discover the last one: an effigy of Bond.

Tears started to flow freely down her cheeks, as the emotional build-up finally overcame her. It was her family. Her birthday gift was a masterfully crafted set of matryoshka dolls depicting her family, with her as the mother-doll protecting and caring for the dolls inside – much like in real-life. It was the most unusual gift she ever had, but it was already her favourite. The symbolism moved her so much she had a hard time drying her tears. It meant the world to her, and much more yet.

"I'm sorry that you don't like it… I thought you'd appreciate getting something that would remind you of your heritage while at the same time showing you how deeply I lo… valuate you and your efforts for our family–"

Yor wiped her tears and smiled. "It's not that I don't like it: I absolutely love it!"

"How lucky I am to have married this man…!" she thought, the only thing barring her from passionately kissing him being their guests' and Anya's presence.

Instead, she hugged him tightly. "I love it, Loid!" she whispered in his ear.

Never had Westalis' top spy shivered this hard before.


Once the gifts given, they moved on to dessert for it was getting late; neither Yor nor Loid wanted Anya to go to bed past eleven o'clock, which was already a generosity: they rarely ever let her stay up past ten o'clock.

"So you're the one who made all the cooking?" Chloe asked, while Loid was lighting the candles on the cake.

"I bought the cake from a pastry chef, but everything else is homemade, yes. I spent all afternoon on it, I hope you liked it!"

"No, not exactly…" Yuri blurted out, laid back on his chair.

His unfastened belt buckle and strained shirt buttons begged to disagree: he had eaten three days' worth of food that he "did not exactly like".

"But I guess a respectable husband does not have his wife cook for her own birthday party dinner, does he? You pass for this time, Loi-loi! But I'm still watching you!"

"Yuri, you're drunk! And you promised me you would behave yourself tonight!" Chloe scolded him, embarrassed. "Don't you think it's time to let go of the foolish idea that they're a fake couple? It's painfully obvious how they are made for each other! If you truly want your sister to be happy, let her love whoever she wants to!"

Yuri protested by finishing his glass of wine while grumbling something, and his vision was too blurred by alcohol for him to notice that both his sister and her husband were blushing hard.

"I guess I did good work on my cover as a loving husband!" Loid congratulated himself. "I must say that Yor really impresses me, she played along really well."

"I wonder… I wonder if Loid would mind if… if I ask him to no longer consider me his fake wife…?"

Chloe took a couple pictures on the Polaroid while Yor blew all her twenty-eight candles, under Yuri's and Anya's cheering, but everyone stopped talking when Loid eventually handed them their share. He made sure he gave Yor the part with the "happy birthday!" decoration, and as he gave her the plate from behind her, he lowered his head so as to lay a light kiss on the nape of her neck, then whispered in her ear.

"Happy birthday, Yor darling."

Never had Garden's top hitman shivered this hard before.

Everyone loved the cake and had another helping. But the Briar siblings kept drinking – especially Yuri – and the empty bottles started to pile up on the table. It was time to put Anya to bed and he hoped that the guests would understand it would soon be time to leave.

"Do you think mama loved her birthday?" Anya asked after he kissed her goodnight.

"I think she did, yes."

"Papa?"

"What is it, dear?"

"Are you in love with mama?" she asked with pleading eyes.

"Perhaps I am. But this is none of your business, young lady!"

Anya knew full well her parents were "secretly" in love and she wanted them to stop pretending they were not, but every time she tried to make them say it out loud, they denied. That time, however, was different, and she fell asleep with a happy smile.

Loid, rather puzzled, walked back to the living-room. "Why have I told that to Anya, whereas I can't even entertain the thought when Yor's in the room? And where has she picked that idea, anyways? It's not like I went out of my way or anything for Yor's birthday…"

When he came into the living-room, he noticed that Yor had put some music on the hi-fi system and that she was making small talk with Chloe, while Yuri was looking closely at their collection of vinyls, surely hoping to find something report-worthy. He also noticed that the bottle Yor and Chloe were drinking from was not shaped like a wine bottle, but like a bottle of something way stronger. Liquor. They kept several bottles for occasional savouring, but this was not "occasional savouring" that was happening before his eyes as Yor was pouring generous glasses to everyone, Yuri included.

"This is bad. This is very bad!" Loid thought as he walked closer. "At this rate, they'll…"

"Loid, can Chloe and Yuri stay for the night?" asked Yor innocently. "They're too drunk to go home on their own, and the taxi fare is going to be very expansive at this hour…"

Loid was about to answer that the couch was not big enough for two people, then realised it would have implied that they slept in separate bedroom, which in turn would not have failed to catch Yuri's attention, no matter how drunk, and that he would not fail to inquire about it, and that being natural was the only way out. It took him a split second to process all of that and compose a natural look.

"Well… There's some mess left in the guest bedroom, just give me a minute to make some room for them and it should be okay!"

"See, Yuri? I told you he would agree!" Yor yelled at her little brother, who feigned to not hear as he was still flipping through the vinyls.

"That's very kind of you, Yor, but we don't want to be nuisances…" Chloe pleaded.

"Yuri's been nothing but a nuisance since I first laid eyes on him, but he has the redeeming quality of being Yor's dear brother. If she wants to have him sleep here for the night, there's nothing I can do except comply. Especially when she's seemingly drunk. Well, I better go prepare the room before they barge in and find things they are not supposed to."

Loid had trained more than once in case he should need to quickly remove any evidence from his room, but that night he did not feel like hurrying and he took his time removing any sensitive item – that is to say, the least personal belonging that Yuri could have extracted evidence out of. Since Yor's room was the one appointed for the "lovey-dovey couple kit", he took a few things there. Entering her room was something he almost never did since she had moved in with them, except when they needed to deploy said kit, and he felt like he was crossing into forbidden territory as he entered his wife's most private garden, the one her secrets where hidden in.

The party went on for another hour before it was decided it was bedtime: Loid was tired to have to micro-manage the Briar siblings' alcohol intake so as to minimize the chances of them ending up totally drunk, but he nevertheless managed to keep Yor just shy of her limit.

"It was a nice birthday party… Loiloi!" Yuri, totally drunk, staggered. "I had fun, I have to admit. Chloe had fun. Yor had fun. Chihuahua girl had fun. Have you had fun?"

"Yes."

"Of course, if you love my sister! Or do you?" He added, coming closer to Loid with a half-empty glass in the hand.

"I do."

"Prove it."

"Not again!" Yor protested, despite very much wanting Loid to prove it.

"Just say that you love her."

"Yuri, enough!" added Chloe. "Stop pestering him, for goodness' sake!"

"I love Yor Forger, my wife."

"Do you love her more than I do?"

"I don't mean no offence but I think that yes, I am the one who loves her the most in this room."

"Listen here, Loid…" Yuri hiccupped as he solemnly laid his hand on Loid's shoulder. "If I ever learn you made her sad, even in the slightest, I'll make sure to deal with you."

"I pledged my life to her when we took our vows."

On the other end of the room, the two women looked at the scene aghast.

"Chloe, you can go to the bathroom if you want." Yor declared with a somewhat sluggish voice. "There should be a spare nightgown in the closet next to the sink."

"But Yuri…"

"I know these two better than they think I do, and if I don't step into it, they're going to argue until dawn so you go ahead and I'll send Yuri with you once I cool it off."

Chloe made no objection and left for the bathroom, while the house mistress drank one last liquor shot and walked towards the boys, who were still trying to argue who loved her the most.

"Loid! Yuri! Enough!" she yelled at them.

They both immediately stopped and turned at her: it was clear in her look that not only was she not joking, she was also finally drunk.

"We'll finish this discussion another time, Lottie!"

"Whenever you're ready to accept the truth."

They spoke no further, for it looked like Yor would whack the both of them if they made any more sounds – Loid still vividly remembered the pain in his chin last time he had to deal with his drunk wife, and complied.


Loid had been turning in the pink-adorned bed for nearly ten minutes when Yor eventually came in, ready for bed. Their eyes met and they both looked surprised.

"Excuse me, I don't know what I was thinking…!" Loid stuttered while getting out of the bed. "Let me just borrow a pillow, I'll sleep on the ground."

"You'll what?"

"Sleep on the ground, so as to not invade your privacy… even though I'm already quite invading…!"

"No." Yor answered straight off, her heart beating wildly but her tongue kept untied by the heat of the liquor. "I don't want you to sleep on the ground. I want you to… to sleep with…" courage fled her eventually, and she regretted not having any more drink at hand. "Sleep with me…"

"Yor, you're drunk, you don't know what you're saying…" Loid objected. "I don't want you to wake up tomorrow next to a man you're not even in love with, feeling abused. I care too much about you to risk something like that."

"It's not even about the mission anymore, at this point. I just feel like I'd kill myself rather than hurting you."

"Then if you care about me, why don't you accept my request?" Yor asked, still standing on the other side of the bed. "Is this because I'm not a proper wife?"

"You're the best wife a man could dream of."

"Not if I believe what the girls at work told me… I have never…"

"And what have they told you, precisely?" he thought, before yelling quietly: "Yor, no!" as she was already reaching to remove her nightgown, probably in order to offer herself to him.

"But Camilla told me that…" she said, her nightgown already above knee-level.

"That men like this? We do, yes, let's be honest. But there's something I like even more about you, than your looks – which I do like, by the way. Do you know what it is?"

She shook her head and let go of the fabric.

"You are not only a perfect mother to Anya, you're also a perfect wife to me. You've made my life so much simpler since we married that I can't imagine living without you anymore. You're my lighthouse over a stormy sea, my lifeline. You and Anya are my whole world, now."

"Even though we're not married for real?"

"Don't say it too loud, your brother could be eavesdropping!"

"I don't think he is… I heard Chloe scolding him when getting out of the bathroom. And getting back to that fake marriage business, I… Loid, there is something I would like to ask you… kind of a final birthday gift."

"Go on?"

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"I won't."

"I don't want to be your fake wife anymore."

He felt his heart sank once again. "You– what?"

Yor took a deep breath. She already regretted what she was about to say, for she had never been that embarrassed before. But the chain of event was set in motion and the heat of the liquor carried her along.

"I want… to be the real Mrs. Forger. As if I married you ou-out of… love and not for measly practical reasons."

Loid's heart, after skipping a couple beats, started racing faster than if he ran an Olympic contest.

"What does that mean? Does she really love me after all? I don't get the meaning of this. Last time things got heated up between us, I tried to kiss her on the neck and she fainted almost immediately! Now she implies she wants our relation to be romantic? Well, she did mention having kids together earlier, but that was probably just for the cover since we had guests… Yor, you don't need to push yourself too hard for that matter! Let me handle it! You don't have to push yourself to an old-fashioned worldview in which women are expected to comply to their husbands' every needs! I love you just the way you are!"

"Nobody knows we're not really married. Nobody has to know. Look, it's time to go to sleep. We'll settle this tomorrow, I'm too tired to even think."

"Me too", Yor gave in. "I was so close to confessing!" she thought, not realising she had basically confessed.

"Alright, come here!" Loid added, once nested under the blanket. "It's not that I don't want to be with you, but… I fear I might hurt you, and I would never forgive myself if I were to break your heart – or Anya's, for that matter."

She clumsily got next to him under the sheets, and instinctively sticked her cold feet to his, seeking for warmth.

"Good night, Yor."

"Good night, Loid."

"Yor?" he asked in a whisper, after a short while in the dark.

"What is it?"

"Do you want to…"

He stumbled on the next word and took a few seconds to sort his thoughts out.

"To have s-s-s-sex?" Yor suggested in a very shaky voice, since he was taking time to finish his sentence.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm sorry I asked such a stupid question, it's just that… that's what the girls told me to expect from men, and… and I still remember last time you and I…"

He immediately understood that she was alluding to that one time two weeks ago when they almost kissed, after a relatively boozy movie night. He also remembered pretty vividly the quick glance of things he saw that time, black lace over pale skin under an expanse of red wool.

"I remember it too… truth be told, I'm still thinking about it…!"

"Did you like what… what I was wearing… underneath?" she asked, turning to face him.

Loid smiled. "If you want to be the real Mrs. Forger, you should take less than two weeks to gather enough courage to ask me whether I liked your lingerie!"

He could almost hear her blush, and since the mood was right, decided to play along. It was also worth noting that despite being trained so as to resist the effects of alcohol, he was absolutely unprepared against the effects of being physically attracted to his wife, and was unknowingly under her complete control.

"But the short answer is yes. I liked it very much."

"Do you want me to… wear it again sometime?"

"Well, that would be a shame to prevent you from enjoying such expansive clothes, so I don't see any problem with it!" he said, framing it so as to look like the innocent one.

"Loid… you're a pervert!" she laughed.

Twilight would never have indulged in such improper behaviour, but Loid's senses were so full of his wife that the thought did not even occur to him and he kept answering, wondering where it would end.

"It's my right to be pervert with my wife. Especially when she's the one who started it in the first place!"

Before realising, his hands were already on her, trying to tickle her from the sides. He was so intoxicated with her he had lost touch with reality, the only thing existing in his world at this moment being the woman in his bed, whose pair of crimson eyes shone with something he dared not name as his hands were starting to wander beneath the fabric of her nightgown.

"We have guests…" she objected in a whisper.

"I know, but…"

"Another time."

"You wish is my command."

"Besides…"

"Besides…?" he repeated, since words got stuck in her throat.

"I'm not… I mean… I have never… I'm n-not…"

Loid's eyebrow rose. "What do you think I was going to do?"

"Erm… the… the sex?"

"Well, I can't deny that there's a part of me that wouldn't mind to "do the sex" as you put it, but I'm well aware that it would be your…"

"Oh Loid…" she put a finger over his mouth. "Why do you always have to be so complicated about everything? Sometimes, I feel like you're overthinking everything I say or do… Why can't you just go with the flow of things?"

"I'm sorry if I'm bothering you…"

"You're not! I love you just the way you are! It's just that sometimes, I wish you were more acting and less talking… like just before!

"I love you too, Yor."

"You what?"

He blinked, aghast, fearing he had said something inappropriate. "You just confessed to me and the mood was right, so I just figured I'd confess too…"

"I what?"

"You said you loved me, and I answered that I love you too."

Amid the mists of liquor, Yor rewound the last few seconds in her head and tried to figure out whether she said these things out loud or in her head: it turned out that she had indeed confess, albeit drunkenly, to her false husband.

But was he still a false husband? As he planted on her lips the shyest of kisses, a shiver ran down her body and she wondered. She wanted to move towards him, she wanted to reciprocate his touches and his kisses, but she could not bring her to. There were guests under their roofs, and there was Anya too! And these were not only excuses so as to dissimulate her unreadiness: she was legitimately too embarrassed to go any further than kissing while there were other people in the house. Which was kind of a progress in itself, since last time Loid tried to put the moves on her, she had just plainly collapsed. Her heart was still beating wildly in her chest, but she was conscious. Maybe next time she would be able to bear his touch over her bare skin? That remained to be seen, as they peacefully fell asleep next to each other.

"Yuri, if you're not in this very bed in five seconds from now, I'm throwing you out of the window."

"I'm sure he's… he's abusing her!" he retorted, while he paced back and forth in the guest room – Loid's former bedroom. "He's defiling her!"

Chloe stood up, holding the blanket against her chest. "Look, Yuri, we've already had this discussion countless times before. Your sister is a grown-up woman who's more than able to fight her own battles and fend for herself: she's twenty-eight! They've been married for two years now, don't you think shit would've already hit the fan by now if it needed to? Also, I remember you telling me that you perhaps misjudged your brother-in-law. Looks like you're back on your previous opinion!"

"It's more complicated than that…" sighed Yuri as he sat down on the bed next to her. "On one hand I do feel like I misjudged him, for he seems really head over heels for my sister… on the other hand, there's something that bugs me and although I quite can't put my finger on it, I keep having that nagging feeling that there's something amiss with him… why is he so perfect?"

"You're perfect to me, and I have no problem about that", retorted Chloe. "Well, almost! Don't get all cocky!"

Yuri eventually calmed down and got under the sheets. As much as it pained him to admit, there was nothing he could do to tear his sister apart from her husband, since he actually was a very decent one with which she was deep in love. And now that he had his hands full with Chloe, a woman that was making him discover new feelings every day, he had to admit that he could no longer care for his sister as much as he used to – especially when she was in the care of another man.

"Do you think I should leave them alone?" he asked, after a quiet while.

"You should've done that a long time ago! Have you never understood you were a nuisance to them? You're not eight anymore, Yuri! You're a grown man and your sister has enough on her own plate without you bothering so often?"

"Do you think I'm a nuisance? That Yor's bothered with me around?"

"That's not what I meant", Chloe answered when she picked up the hint of sadness in her boyfriend's voice. "She loves her brother, that's clear. But she'd love him even more if said brother was less of a nuisance and more of a support, you know? Instead of putting inside her head foolish ideas about her husband being unfaithful, shouldn't you support her in her marriage?"

"That's exactly what I'm doing, am I not?"

"In your opinion, maybe. But to outsiders, it looks like you want them to divorce. To be honest that's what I thought you were doing, back when I fell in love with you."

"All I want is to make sure my sister is happy. She made sure I was for what, twelve years? Thirteen years? That's the least I can do for her."

"You were a child then. She's an adult now. Repay her otherwise. Be there for her when she needs you, not when she doesn't. Don't be so overbearing, or she might as well end up cutting ties with you!"

The prospect of being no longer in touch with his sister could have made Yuri move mountains, but for now he had a somewhat angry girlfriend to deal with – a barely easier task.

"It's not my fault, it's this man…! I got to get to the bottom of this whole business!"

"Shouldn't you rather be bonding with him? I though you two had a good time at the bar!"

"I… think I had, yes, but…"

"Then you should try to change your mind about him once and for all. I mean, let's face it: Yor and him are bound to have children together, sooner or later! Do you want to miss your nephews and nieces growing up? Do you not want to be the fun uncle? You could already start with Loid's daughter: your sister loves the girl as if she was hers! Why can't you manage to do as much?"

"Because… I don't know. I guess I… I've been kind of jealous of having been replaced in her life."

"Weird."

"What's weird?"

"See, I had a little girls' talk with your sister and from what I understood, you used to pressure her into finding a relationship."

"She was already married to Loid when I first mentioned that, though."

"No wonder why she kept her marriage a secret from you, then!"

"I guess you're right, Chloe. I have to do it, for everyone's sake."

"Glad I could finally talk some sense into your dumb ass!"

She kissed him goodnight and shut the lights down.

"I tell you what. Your sister has found herself a good man here. And I know how to recognize a good man when I see one."

"How would you know? You're only–"

"I'm in bed with one right now. Probably even with the nicest of them all…!"


The next morning, both Briar siblings woke up in the arms of the person they were in love with. It was an unspeakable feeling of bliss and happiness that butterflied deep in Yor's stomach, as she felt Loid's hand twitch a little over it above the nightgown's fabric.

"You're up?" he asked, noticing she started to move.

"Good morning, Loid…" she muttered, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"Good morning, Yor. Listen, I got to wake up: breakfast's yet to be made for everyone."

She held him back as he was pulling from under the blanket. "No. I want you to… stay with me… for a moment. Please."

"It's no longer your birthday", Loid retorted with a playful smile. "You can no longer ask for favours!"

"A wife doesn't ask for favours from her husband… she takes them!" she replied.

"So she remembers everything, this time?" he smiled in thought. "Good. I feared that she wouldn't."

And the kiss she gave him proved that indeed, she remembered – almost – everything from her birthday party.