Thank you to Mel!
TWENTY-THREE
I watch Captain Thorne pour herself a measure of rum. We are alone in her quarters, and she has not given me leave to sit, let alone offered me a glass of liquor. She pours a careful amount before securing the bottle and tucking it back into a drawer of her desk. She picks up the glass, swirls the dark liquid before finally her gaze lifts to me.
"Your actions today have been reproachable, verging on, dare I say, mutinous." She sips her rum as her words slide into me, wounding the very core of my character. "Tell me, Captain, what would you do if one of your deckhands brought aboard a new sailor, without thought nor consideration for you or the rest of the crew?"
Have I ever been so low? I feel less than three inches tall, shrinking smaller with every word out of her mouth. She is right. Of course, she is right. I have behaved abysmally.
"Captain," I start, but she cuts me off.
"I don't want excuses," she snaps, her voice even, despite the cold steel in it. "You have betrayed my trust, Captain. You will spend the remainder of our voyage as a swabbie."
I flinch, but nod, accepting the punishment.
Captain Thorne takes a step toward me, the liquid in her glass still swirling. "You don't have to trust me, nor anyone aboard my ship," she says, her eyes hard as flint. "I do not care what vendetta you have against anyone. But—" At this, her eyes turn glacial. "Whilst aboard my ship, you will follow my rules. This ship is neutral territory for your feuds, and I expect you to honor that neutrality. You haven't found anyone trying to slit your throat in your sleep, have you?" she demands. I swallow, taken aback by the question. When she doesn't look away from me, I shake my head. "Neutral ground, Captain. I advise you to learn to live with your demons."
She shifts back on her heels and gives me a final hard look. "You're dismissed."
I bow my head in submission, my teeth biting into the inside of my cheek as I turn to leave.
"Oh, and Captain," she calls, forcing me to turn back to her. "Defy me on my ship again, and I'll kill you myself."
I see it in her eyes—she means it with every ounce of who she is. I take a breath and nod. "Understood."
She motions me out of the cabin, and I leave feeling lower than the fleas upon a dog's back.
…
We set sail, and immediately I'm thrust into my new role. It's degrading, but unfortunately, nothing I'm not used to. I set to work, determined to restore honor to my name.
Jasper, being as loyal as he is, elects to work with me despite my protests. It is good to have his company through the grueling work, even if I feel guilty for his suffering.
It is clear that any sort of respect I'd managed to earn from the crew is now gone with my single act of stupid defiance. They give Jasper and me a wide berth, some even going out of their way to deviate in their path around us. It is humiliating and only deepens my shame every time I see a crewmember skirt around us.
"I should have listened to you," I whisper to Jasper as I crawl onto my hands and knees to scrub the deck.
Jasper drops to the deck beside me, sighing. "We know now," he says slowly.
I look up at him. "I was certain he was after Isabella."
Jasper looks at me, his blond hair a little too long and flopping into an eye.
He shakes it back before his blue eyes meet mine.
"As was I."
I think once again about Aster's reaction to seeing the young Miss Brandon. Had I known the beast was after her, I never would have put her in danger by bringing him. She does not deserve to be threatened, no matter what bad omen or ill fortune he believes she's brought him.
I'm just grateful Jasper was able to respond so quickly.
My heavy conscience grows even heavier, knowing I now have this attempted attack against Alice to add to my burdened heart.
I scrub the deck with fervor as if by cleaning the ship, I'd be able to wipe the marks from my soul as well.
