A Helluva Boss Story
Different Kinds of Fire 2.0
Chapter 4
Murder Family
(Normal POV)
"I was a good person before it all went down. I was good my entire life."
In Blitz's office at the I.M.P. building a tall demonic purple looking woman holding a cigarette near her mouth, standing round explaining how she came too Hell. Her name was Mrs. Mayberry or Ms. Mayberry now, she was a school teacher who had been doing her usual routine. She was in a small classroom that was brightly colored with the sunshine from the window and the smiles on each child's face. Together, the class and Ms. Mayberry sang their cheerful morning song as they usually did. As the children sang, one child brought up today's event that just so happened to be Ms. Mayberry's husbands birthday.
The poor woman began to freak out. She had forgotten to get him a present. One of the students suggested a video call for a birthday surprise; unfortunately no one was expecting to see the man fucking some slut causing Mayberry to go over the edge, go home, and kill the man and his mistress while the computer video was still on. She realized too late what she'd done in front of the children. All she could do was apologize, remind them about doing their division, and then she shot herself out of guilt.
"You do everything right in life, play by all the rules and still get sent down here with all the Hitler's and Epstein's of the world after one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So that's why I'm here. To get my revenge." The now demon Mayberry explained to Blitz.
"I mean was she hotter?" He asked earning a dirty glare from Mayberry. "I had a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at me tits. I don't think you quite understand how we're operating down here. See we take revenge out on the living and it sounds like core cast of your sitcom of death frankly is all probably down here in Hell, with you...boop..." He smirked bopping Mayberry's nose but quickly stopped when he saw her anger building up and hair floating in the air.
"Not all of them, that whore survived and now they're all calling her a hero..."
On Earth the woman who Mayberry attacked was in a hospital bed bandaged up surrounded by family and flowers and cards and gifts and thee press.
"How does it feel to have survived such a crazy bitch?" A news reporter asked.
"I just hope that sick woman finally found peace." The woman replied sounding synthetic.
"You aare so brave, here's two million dollar!" The news reporter hands a large check to the woman whose eye sparkles at the sight of the check.
"Oh! Thank you!"
Mayberry: Between the talk shows and donation shit she made so much goddamn cash. Getting shot was the best thing to happen to her."
Everywhere that blonde woman went she was complimented on being a hero. At church, at an elementary school, at home, the grocery store, when some random guy fucked her. All this praising and love and for what?
"She is not a hero!" Cried Mayberry full of rage as she closed in on Blitz's face.
"Yeah okay, yeah my thoughts exactly!" Blitz replied giving a nervous smile, hitting a button under his desk that was for 'Deranged client'. As seen on a box on Loona's desk; unfortunately, Loona was preoccupied with something else at the moment holding a picture of a nice average looking family up in the air for Moxxie to shot at while on her phone.
"Moxxie stop shaking, your gonna shoot our only Hell hound." Millie said to Moxxie as she stood by the imp who was shaking while holding a gun in his hands.
"Wow, I feel so loved here." Said Loona paying attention to her phone.
"Sorry Loona, nothing personal." Said Becky. "Anyway, I don't blame Moxxie for being nervous Millie. I mean, that picture has an innocent looking family on it. I thought we just killed one person from our clients who were out looking for revenge. Not a whole family."
"She's right," Moxxie said lowering his gun. "Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?" Moxxie asked, earning a shrug from Millie.
"I mean if that's what the client wants." Millie replied.
"Maybe like a shitty dad or mob family, that's understandable but to eradicate an entire innocent seemingly in this instance upper-middle-class family bloodline?!" Said Moxxie as Loona took a moment away from her phone to look at the picture then back at Moxxie.
"Hey, you don't know they're innocent!" She began pointing to each member of the family in the picture as she spoke. "This kid probably sets dogs on fire. Maybe this girl gets off bullying Australian kids online. And this guy...this guy definitely watches."
"Exactly! Humans are full of secret nasties, it's why so many of them end up here." Millie said walking behind Moxxie.
"But Millie how do we know if any of that is true or not?" Becky asked her.
"Guilty and innocent aren't our business Becky. Sorry hon, but killing who we're paid to is our business. So shoot the target Moxxie!" Millie replied kissing Moxxie on the lips as encouragement.
Moxxie got his crossbow ready. "Still I think its a bit excessive and we could be a bit more selective?"
"Guys I want you to meet-" Blitz started to say but Moxie accidentally released the trigger on the crossbow that sent the arrow flying through the picture in Loona's hand, broke the computer and went past Becky's face before Blitz caught it. "Our newest client!" He finished when the fish tank full of eels fell to the ground electrocuting the floor setting off a fire. "Damnit Moxxie, I just bought those eels!"
Everyone evacuated the building as the firefighters came out after doing their job.
"Bye and don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours or your first kill is free!" Blitz cried out waving to Mayberry who left in a taxi.
"When did we start implementing that deal?" Moxxxie asked Blitz.
"When you set fire to my office in front of a client you fucking dick shit!" Blitz replied, yelling at him. "Now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact!"
"You mean our only ticket to the other side?" Said Loona texting on her phone, pulling out the grimoire. "Yeah, got it."
"And that's why you're my favorite Looni. You get a treat now." Said Blitz smiling at Loona, holding out a dog biscuit.
"Ew, stop." Said Loona so Blitz tossed the treat in the air then used his tongue to pull a fog move and eat the treat. "You're so gross!"
"Oh stop it, I get that enough from my therapist." Said Blitz as Millie made the portal on the side of the building while Loona went back inside. "Now let's go lick some ass!"
"The expression is kick some ass, Blitz." Said Millie.
"Mine's better." Said Blitz walking through the portal followed by Millie.
"Aw fuck!" Groaned Moxxie entering through the portal.
"(sigh) This should be fun." Said Becky walking through after Moxxie.
A small cozy cabin laid on a small hill by a large lake behind it. The imps made their way towards the cabin hiding in the bushes to not be discovered. Blitz carefully looked though the window spotting the family. Getting comfortable for dinner.
"That's got to be her. Oh this is too easy." He laughed. "Moxxie you want this one?"
"Me?!" A shocked Moxxie replied.
"Yeah this one's simple enough for you to handle," Said Blitz as Moxxie got up looking through the window. "Just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital."
Becky peeked through the window and felt slightly uncomfortable. "Blitz I'm not so sure about this. Should we really do this?"
"Come on Becky, its a quick and easy job. A blind and deaf handicapped monkey could do it." Said Blitz. "So Moxxie, you want to do it?"
Moxxie didn't replied. He took one look at that family enjoying a nice Sunday dinner together and felt a string of guilt rush over him.
When Moxxie didn't replied, Blitz shrugged and pulled out a gun. He decided he'd take the shot himself. Aiming at the young blond woman.
"Wait a minute, are we actually killing a family?!" Moxxie asked. trying to understand what was happening.
"No, don't be a puss. We're just killing a mother and ruining a family." Blitz replied.
"But hold on, hold on, let's just think about this." Said Moxxie.
"Don't worry Moxxie, the father could find a new mother for the kids." Said Blitz ready to pull the trigger when Moxxie pushed the gun up, causing the bullet to shoot a mirror. Startling the whole family.
"Moxxie!" Blitz yelled whispered at him.
"What was that Ralphie?!" The blonde woman asked her husband.
"I don't know Martha, but whatever it is..." He began pulling out a shotgun. "They're gonna be tomorrow night's dinner."
The blonde had a wickedly twisted smile on her face as she put down a plate of food, pulled out her own shotgun and drank a glass of wine. Throwing the glass on the ground causing it to make a loud shatter sound. "Alright kids, guns out!" She yelled as the kids pulled out their own guns.
"Looks like we got some rabbits to catch young ins!" Yelled the husband.
Becky could see everything happening through the window. Her red face grew pale. She tried to tell Blitz what was happening but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth.
"What the fuck was that Moxxie?!" Cried an angry Blitz.
"I'm sorry, they just seemed so wholesome and happy, I panicked!" Replied an upset Moxxie.
"Uh, guys?"
"Oh who the fuck is innocent these days Moxxie?!"
"Guys?"
"From the moment of birth you're already a parasite leaching off your momma's tits!"
"Guys?"
"Get the fuck over yourself you dick baby!"
"Guys?!"
"What?!"
A loud gunshot went off. A large hole in the wall was made in front of the imps.
"Shit scatter!" Yelled Blitz as everyone ran off in different directions. Except for Moxxie who was pulled into the house.
Millie ran to a dock by the lake jumping into the water as the husband came up.
"Where'd you go little critter?! You can't hide long from me!" He cried out earning a kick to the face from Millie. He stood up just as Millie was coming round to stab him when he hit Millie in the face knocking her out.
When Moxxie came too he woke up tied to a chair in the dining room. He gasped when he saw both kids with creepy smiles on their faces. "Oh, well hello little ones, aren't you cute." He said trying to be friendly.
"It's nice to have a new critter to play with." Both kids said at the same time.
Moxie's eyes began to wander around the room. Only then did he realize that this was not your typical average friendly family. Not with the human skinned trophies and furniture out.
"Oh...crumbs." Was all Moxie could say.
Meanwhile, Becky took off behind Blitz for the woods. Martha wasn't too far behind them. Shooting her gun and laughing like a maniac. The pair jumped over fallen trees, running till they found a large tree to hide behind. Blitz leaned against the bark holding Becky close to his chest. Holding his breathe, covering Becky's mouth as Martha came around shouting, "I promise I can make that pain go real quick! Just let mama Martha put some bullets through your pretty little skulls!"
She wondered in another direction allowing the pair a moment to breathe. Till Blitz's phone went off startling him. Quickly, he struggled to answer the call. Once answered, he replied in a hushed loud voice.
"Damn it Stolas, this is a really bad time!" Blitz whispered yelled through the phone.
"Mmm when isn't it a bad time Blitzy?" Said Prince said from his bathroom within his tub. He was taking a relaxing candle-lite bubble bath while constellations floated round the walls.
"Ugh, what do you want?!" Asked Blitz.
"I've been meaning to follow up on our last little conversation regarding my grimoire." Stolas replied looking at the bubbling floating in the air. One bubble showed Blitz talking on the phone.
"What did you just call me?!" Asked Blitz as Stolas popped the bubble.
"My book Blitzy, the book I was given to do my job. That I have allowed you to use to do yours." Stolas told Blitz just before Becky screamed duck making Blitz dive, nearly avoiding getting shot in the head.
"I can hear you darling!" Martha cried out.
"Shit!" Said Blitz running with Becky.
"Blitz, turn off the phone!" Becky whispered in a loud voice, but Blitz ignored her.
"Any who, I've been thinking, you know I have been permitting you to access the mortal realm less than legally for some time now; but I do need it back to fulfill my duties. I was thinking...what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors?" Stolas was explaining as he walked his fingers along the edge of the tub as the two imps ran further through the woods.
"Doesn't that sound...enticing~?"
'Oh my god why doesn't Blitz turn off his phone? We're trying not to die but his little conversation is causing too much ruckus.'
"Blitz, I know your kind of busy talking to your on again, off again boyfriend, but we're trying not to die here. Could you please call him later? When we're not running through the woods from a psycho killer?" A desperate Becky begged Blitz.
"Trust me, I'd like to hang up, but this rich asshole should just get to the point already before my ass gets shot!" Blitz replied just as a bullet shot past his and Becky's faces.
"Then let me keep it simple. Once a month on the full moon you return the book to me followed by a night of passionate fornication~." Said Stolas sinking in the tub when saying that. "And...you get to keep it all the rest of the time, hm? Sound fair my little imp?" Stolas finished popping his 'P.'
"Fine whatever!" Blitz said looking over a tree.
"Oh Blitz I'm so excited! I cannot wait to fill your slimy **** inside of my **** and ****"
Becky blushed bright red upon hearing the Prince speak but she soon turned pale when Martha appeared holding her gun at her and Blitz.
"Gotcha! So your little devils huh? And you came to drag me and my kids to Hell? Well not today Satan! I'm gonna end you both back where you came from!" Said Martha.
'And...we're screwed.'
While things were looking grim outside, back inside the house, Moxxie was struggling to get out of his rope bonds when he noticed from the window a bright glowing orange light.
"Millie! Becky!" He cried out realizing he had to get loose pronto.
The kids came at him from both sides. The girl on his left held out a knife clearly ready to attack. Acting fast, Moxxie pushed the chair backwards knocking the girl down to the ground with his. He grabbed the knife and cut himself free. Grabbing a shotgun he jumped out through the window and ran towards the direction of the light.
Somewhere in the woods under the light of the full moon, Blitz, Millie and Becky were tied to a large log with a pile of sticks underneath them. Ralph was pouring gasoline on the pile while Becky struggled to get loose.
'Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! We're going to be burned alive!'
"Let us go! Please!" Becky cried out as tears fell from her eyes.
"I had that fucking shot! God dammit Moxxie!" Blitz cried out.
"Blitz, shut the fuck up!" Becky was not in the mood for hearing his complaints.
"Satan, we return your filthy creatures back to the pits of Hell! May the root of evil remain honored as we continue our work!" Martha cried out tossing a lite torch to the wood pile igniting a fire below the trio's feet.
Becky screamed as the fire engulfed them but her screaming subdued when she realized the fire wasn't hurting her. In fact, she felt no pain at all.
'Wh-What's going on? The fire...its not doing anything to hurt us.'
"You alright hon?" Millie asked her.
"I-I-I guess, but what's happening?" A confused Becky asked. "Why are we not burning to death alive?"
"Yeah about that, this isn't exactly how it works lady. Sorry your fire doesn't hurt us since we're from Hell, but I mean I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard." Said Blitz.
"We're immune to fire?" Asked Becky. "Blitz, why didn't you tell me?"
"Yeah, probably should have told you, sorry kiddo. Guess the thought slipped me from all the running and shooting." Said Blitz.
"Oh...shit...well, I'll just shoot you in your smart ass mouse!" Martha yelled pulling out her shotgun.
"That would be more effective." Said Blitz.
"Blitz!" Millie and Becky yelled in union.
Martha released a maniacal laugh as she readied her aim before pulling the trigger. The trio shut their eyes preparing for the worst when another gunshot came from behind. Moxxie had shot Martha right through her eye killing her instantly.
"Moxxie!" Cried a cheerful Millie.
"Moxxie your okay, and you saved us!" Becky cried out crying tears of joy.
"You're not getting your goddamn paycheck for this one Mox." Said Blitz as Moxxie ran up untying the trio.
Blitz fell to the ground while Moxie embraced Millie in his loving arms and Becky jumped around for joy cause they were alive. Ralph got scared, tripped over his dead wife and ran away.
"Oh yeah thanks I'm fine!" Said Blitz from the ground. Becky ran over helping him up on his feet. "Thanks for that sweetheart."
"I'm so sorry sir, I compromised our objective and put us in harm's way. It won't happen again, I promise." Said Moxxie to Blitz.
"Apology accepted!" Said Blitz pulling Moxxie into a hug. "But if you ever pull a stunt like that again I will fuck you and your wife while Becky watches and alright job well done!" Blitz pulled away from Moxxie. "Now let's get off!"
"Yes please, I think we over stayed our welcome here long enough." Said Becky.
"Eh yeah, give me a moment. I need to get something I left at the house." Said Moxxie pointing in the direction of the cabin.
"Okay fine but hurry up." Said Blitz taking out another phone to call Loona.
Moxxie ran back to the cabin. Blitz phone was still on and Stolas was still going on about fucking Blitz. When Moxxie reached the cabin he slammed the front door open and held the remaining family members at gunpoint.
"Don't move." He said making Ralph laugh.
"What are you gonna do little gun, kill us?" He asked.
I should, you people are monsters; however, you should have a chance at life and a purpose. Look at your children, they have their whole futures ahead of them. You are going to face your crimes justly. I will call your Earthly authorities and they will make sure you are dealt with fairly. I'm handling this my way." Moxxie explained grabbing what he thought was the phone but when he pushed a button it turned the TV on. "Oh shit, uh do you have a phone to summon 9-1-1?" Moxxxie asked.
"Yeah its in the kitchen." Ralph replied.
"Then what is this for?" Asked Moxxie holding up the remote.
"It's a universal remote, got it for the kids." Said Ralph looking down at his children.
"Aww~!" Said Moxxie while his eyes sparkled.
By the time Moxxie got back to the group the portal was open.
"There he is, have a good wank-off session Moxxie?" Blitz asked.
"Excuse me? "Asked Moxxie.
"Look I don't care where you come in the living world just come to your job on time alright? See you in the office!" Said Blitz jumping through the portal.
"Ugh, that guy's got a sick mind." Becky said a loud. "Everything okay Moxxie?"
"Yeah sweetie, are you doing okay?" Asked Millie.
"Better now girls, I think I just needed a moment to process." Moxxie replied.
"You're a good guy Moxxie. Without you, I don't know what would happen." Said Becky giving him a quick hug. "Thanks again, I owe you one."
"You've got a good heart honey, just a fuzzy head." Said Millie giving Moxxie a kiss. "Let's go home."
"You read my mind Millie." Said Becky walking through the portal with Millie.
Moxxie was about to follow when he heard police sirens. Looking behind him at the cabin it was surrounded by police cars and a helicopter that shot at the cabin causing it to explode in seconds. A flying stuffed bear's head landing at Moxxie's feet leaving him stunned at what he just saw.
"Alright I'm getting him then." Said Blitz grabbing Moxxie's shirt collar dragging him through the portal.
Later there was a small party being held as a congratulations to Moxxie. A sign in the back said 'Killed the Bitch' and a large cake was placed in front of Moxxie.
"You did it Moxxie!" Said Millie hugging her still stunned husband with joy.
"Well here's to another mission accomplished and Moxxie finally learned not to fuck up!" Said Blitz holding up a cup in the air.
"And killing people isn't that big of a deal if they try to kill you back." Said Millie.
"Guess you can't argue with that logic." Said Becky.
"That's messed up, but I paid for it." Said Mayberry making everyone but Moxxie.
"Yeah fuck that family." Said Blitz.
And that's the end of this chapter
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