The sky was a forest green in The Halo of Diligence. Businessmen and women with angel wings flew from building to building, always busy. Beaver angels were repairing buildings and worker bees were giving out divine nectar to the denizens. There were hospitals everywhere and the sheep workers were prudent to ensure all the needs of their clients were met. One hospital made of white marble was called "Goode To Shews," and was run by angel sheep and cherubs. Diligence was busy like New York City but without the crime, congestion, and stress. The majority of denizens seemed happy, productive and alert.
"Hello," said a female voice to a beaver doctor wearing a hospital gown. Their figures were briefly shadowed as they talked in one of the hospital rooms. "Have you seen my brother anywhere?"
"No, I haven't," the beaver replied, stepping into the light. He wore a white doctor's coat with a green cross logo with a halo on top of it. His nametag read "Doctor Woodchuck." A white halo was over his head, and he had small angel wings behind him. He held a wooden clipboard and took notes with a wooden pencil. He had brown fur on his face and body, two long buckteeth, and a beaver tail. One monocle was over his eye.
"I haven't seen him in so long, I miss him."
"Well, I hope you find him soon," said Doctor Woodchuck. "He might be in another Halo. Also, I appreciate you coming in for your regular appointment. It's always great to see you."
"I'll keep looking. Thank you," said the tall female figure. They waved goodbye and the female darted off into the distance.
0 0 0
Back in the Humility Halo, Docile strolled into the office, bright and clean and ready to work.
"Who's the new client?" Docile asked.
Tirred and Timmid stared at a tall new angel with long white hair with a red steak in it. He had white wings, a gray face, and wore a black shirt and white pants. His belly revealed red lava inside him. He had a dark blue necklace that looked like part of a yin-yang symbol. His eyes glowed blue.
"Apologies for the strange appearance. I used to be a choir teacher back on Earth," he said. "We were all going on a field trip to see a volcano. After taking a selfie with the kids, one of the kids climbed over the rusted railing. I managed to rescue him, but…the railing broke apart and I fell into the volcano in the process. Another teacher tried to help me in vain…his name is Timmy. Timmy is a big no-drugs advocate and a fellow Christian. Though I do know some Christians who do drugs on the side…not pretty. Anyway, I arrived here in Heaven and now I guess I'm immune to lava, ironically."
Docile smiled. "You're not afraid of volcanos anymore?"
"Goodness yes, I'm still scared of them!" he exclaimed. "But yes, if I have to go into lava, I can. I've gotten so many requests to create lava cannons and brimstone bombs to use against the demons, but going to Hell is the last thing I want to do. I'm a singer, not a fighter!"
"Interesting," said Docile. "I'll be glad to help on this mission."
"Say, Docile," Timmid mentioned, "Don't you think we should do the mission this time, me and Tirred? There's been news about an elf working around in Diligence and Earth."
Docile raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?"
"…and she seems to be looking for you. Seems desperate to find you."
Timmid mentioned to the elf's Gracebook profile on Docile's blue laptop with a golden apple logo. An ad was off to the side that showed two smiling angels for "Chastinder: find your perfect spouse without sin and drama: sign up today!" "Adonai Ad-Block, blocks all irrelevant ads 99% of the time! (Save for Evangelical 1% "Spread the Good News! Accept Jesus as your savior here and now and stay in Heaven! Support us and you won't have to worry about Hell or Earth! Afterlife's good!")
The profile showed: "Holly Wata. Currently looking for work! Previous experience in a choir (performer). Experience: Singing, Advocate against sex and drugs, Performing, Pastor Apprenticeship, Bible study, Religion study."
"I…um…think she's fine on her own," Docile added nervously.
"Are you two related?" Tirred asked.
"Yeah, you said you had a sister, right?" Timmid asked.
"Haven't seen her in a while," Docile said with a shrug.
"Why don't you go see her? Take some time off," Timmid suggested.
Docile stepped back. "I don't think I should, I have a client to help, and we need the cashflow. The client needs help to let his living family members know he's okay..."
"We'll take care of that!" Timmid beamed. "Right, Tirred?"
Tirred shrugged, unenthused about going back to Earth. "Sure, I guess."
"Go see your sister," Timmid encouraged her boss. "We'll take it from here."
Docile sighed as Timmid and Tirred went off with the client out of the room. Sunna was fast asleep on a chair, with catnip sprinkled on the table.
After talking with the client, Timmid presented a bulletin board to Tirred who rolled his eyes. It showed various places on Earth, different church locations, maps, and the like.
"This is a bit much, Timmid," he said.
"This is our first mission on our own, so we need to be prepared. Don't forget our human disguises."
"Right," Tirred grumbled. "Wouldn't want someone like you being fawned over by a bunch of camp kids while I'm left in the dust."
Timmid raised her eyebrows. "Huh? What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Nothing…"
"Let me remind you, Tir, that we are still not fully back together. And we are going caroling, not camping. So be on your best behavior, or you'll see both our butts being fired."
"Fine," Tirred crossed his arms and smoothed out his angel wings. "Let's get it over with. But no distractions this time! Being around mortals makes me gag."
"You don't hear God or Jesus saying that," Timmid glared. "Now let's go, we have a lot of work to do."
No one noticed Docile reading a Bible passage in his office…and him accidentally falling through a portal to a wintery scene on Earth below…
0 0 0
With the help of a crystal from Uriel, the two elves found themselves in a winter wonderland somewhere on Earth. The city lights and lamps glowed in the snowy night and a bridge led the way to a forest with some cabins. Families in cabins and houses were happily chatting with hot chocolate in mugs while kids built snowmen in front yards.
Tirred had his human disguise with short black hair, white skin and a heavy green jacket and black long pants. Timmid wore a red jacket, a Santa hat and a purple jacket, pantyhose, and a white dress underneath. Her curly hair was white, matching her disguised white skin.
Tirred snickered. "If you took that jacket off, you'd look like a washed-out bride. 'Tammy!'"
"Shut up, 'Tiren'," she retorted with his fake name. "We have to focus. Where would we find a singing group where the client and the teacher would be?"
Tirred shrugged. "How about that one?"
Tirred pointed to a nearby sign that read "LuvDaLawd Choir Performance Tonight!"
Tirred beamed. "Convenient, isn't it? Let's go!"
"Wait!" said Timmid. "Shouldn't we just ask around so we know where the performance is? Or at least take some time to enjoy the view?"
"We can enjoy the view after our mission is done," Tirred said. "You said we needed to focus...and I just pointed out the fastest way there."
Timmid sighed. "Fine, we'll do it your way." As she followed him, she pleaded, "Can we at least stop by the bakery for some angel food cake…?"
"Timmid!"
"Right, heh, heh, sorry."
The disguised elves wandered through the snowy streets, eying toys displayed in store windows and candy cane decorations by the trees.
"Look, there it is!" said Timmid. Up ahead was a tall church building with spires jutting the cloudy night sky. A "LuvDaLawd" sign was placed near the double doors. Stained glass windows in the building showed Jesus, angels, a shepherd, a white dove and other beautiful art. They headed inside and spotted a children's choir. They were dressed in white, holding candles and singing "Glory to the Newborn King." Timmid and Tirred happily and respectfully watched on brown wooden benches with groups of parents.
After several more songs, the children bowed, and the parents politely clapped.
"Docile would love this," Timmid smiled.
"Yeah, I guess," Tirred said, standing up. "But aren't we supposed to be looking for his sister or whatever?"
"Yeah, and also find anyone connected to our client to comfort, like that teacher he told us about."
"That's a lot for one mission. We don't even know what he looks like."
"Could it be that one?" Timmid asked.
They spotted a man with wild white hair and glasses. "Excuse me, sir," Timmid asked, walking up to him. "Do you happen to know anyone by the name of…erm…"
"Huh?" the man asked puzzled.
Tirred turned to the puzzled Timmid and hissed. "I can't believe you don't know our client's name!"
"Shouldn't you have asked him that?" Timmid asked.
"I thought he would tell us!" Tirred scowled. "Now he's just gonna be known as the aquatic demon sinner counselor client…"
"Uh, I think you mean the seraphim angel saint teacher client," Timmid chided. "Seriously, for someone who hates demons, your mind sure goes a lot to them. Plus, your names are a mouth-full."
"That's not what I meant, and you know it."
"I'm surprised that you don't take field trips to Hell."
"I'd only do it to bash their brains out," Tirred barred his teeth.
"Unpopular opinion, I'd think Heaven would be a lot better without the exorcists and all this violence, going against 'thou shalt not kill…'"
"Again, we kill them for good reason. I've had these petty arguments with you before and I'm sick of it. Now stop being such a whiny wallflower wimp and help me talk to the…"
"…teacher?"
Tirred and Timmid paused as the man stared at them wide-eyed, blowing out a puff of marijuana smoke from a pipe. He fiddled with his bow tie on his suit. Some of the other teachers were glaring at him.
The man then coughed out loud and chuckled nervously. "Well, it seems you lovebirds have a lot to talk about…but I think I'd better get going. Lots of drugs…erm…hugs to give out, ya know!"
He fiddled with his glasses and scurried away.
Timmid's face brightened. "Wait, sir, what's your name?!"
The man didn't answer and vanished.
"Weird Waldo is his name," a blond lady teacher mentioned. "Pissog" was scribbled over her name tag and a nearby kid snickered with a marker in his hand. The lady continued. "At least that's his nickname. He loves Jesus like the rest of us, but thanks to his family, he's been addicted to pot for a while. Surprised he didn't get caught. One teacher was secretly gay and when we found out, he got kicked out. I heard one of the kids had an unusually close relationship with one of the pasters here…don't know much else since the paster's still here and the kid is not."
Tirred and Timmid glanced uneasily at one of the well-dressed men leading a sermon in the background.
"I just remembered the teacher's name," Timmid brightened and looked at Tirred. "Jimmy! Do you know if he's around?"
The lady shrugged. "Haven't had anyone named Jimmy here."
Timmid looked downcast. "Great, now we'll have to look at another caroling camp."
Tirred got straight to the point. "You have any teachers fall from a cliff on field trips recently?"
The lady looked teary-eyed. "Oh yes, last week when that one guy rescued that kid, but fell off the canyons in the process. I was with another class nearby when it happened. Another teacher was the hero's good friend…Timmy was his name, I believe."
"Where is he?"
"Try the courtyard. He often helps with protests there."
"Oh, thank you!" Timmid said. The lady smiled and strolled away. The two elves walked through the church, their footsteps echoing.
Tirred smirked. "You thought his name was Jimmy? Who's stupid now?"
Timmid elbowed him. "Shut it!"
They arrived at the courtyard, but no one was there.
"What a bust," grumbled Tirred. "Now what do we do?"
"The only thing left to do in a time like this," Timmid sighed and then winked.
0 0 0
Much to Tirred's protest, they found themselves building snowmen, drinking hot chocolate, and signing carols off-key for several days. Timmid giggled as Tirred "volunteered" to teach the kids various notes during choir practice.
"Now this is an awesome mission!" Timmid laughed as she fired snowball after snowball to Tirred's face.
"Don't make me call Docile," he shivered, shaking off the snow. "He's not gonna be happy about this. In fact, I'm going off to protest against sin on the street."
"Have it your way," Timmid said. "I'll just stay here and earn more favor from these churchgoers."
Tirred wandered off, trying not to slip on the icy sidewalk. He slipped anyway and crashed right into…
"What the? Sir?!"
Docile had walked right into him and both were in a heap in the snow. Tirred and Docile transformed back into their elf selves.
"What are you doing here?!" Tirred asked.
"Fell through a hole after praying that I wouldn't have to see her again…"
"Who?" Tirred asked.
"The one who's searching for me…who's super annoying, even though I still love her."
"What have you been doing all this time?"
"Working at a nearby soup kitchen and trying to stay warm," Docile replied. "And looking for a Bible to get back."
"Well, Timmid and I are still trying to find the teacher."
"We better hurry, it's freezing out here."
Timmid raced over to catch up, also turning back into her elf form. "There you are, Tirred. Just got done with the final choir performance. They all loved me when I joined in, it's a shame you weren't there to complain about it. Oh, hello Docile!"
"You got here fast," Tirred said. "How did you know where I was?"
"I could hear your grumpy thoughts from far away."
"I know we're angels but stop reading people's minds!" Tirred barked. "I was on my way to the 'LuvDaLawd' protest."
"You don't have to look far, because there it is," said Docile, pointing.
Up ahead, they saw a bunch of people holding up signs that read, "Just say no to drugs!" "Lust is the greatest sin!" "Let Jesus Save You!" "The Devil Does Drugs…God Stays Pure." "No Pork!" "There are plenty of vices in Hell!" "Read This Sign! I Can't Think of Anything To Say, But If You Are Reading This, It's Never Too Late to Help Me With Your Donation. $"
Docile then spotted two people at the front of the crowd. One was the teacher, Timmy, who had tried to rescue the angel client. He was dressed in long blue jeans, a white sweater with a gold cross on it and had black short sleek hair. He was holding up a sign in his hands that read "LuvDaLawd, Prove Your Goodness to God!"
Then Docile spotted the tall woman next to him, and his eyes widened. She had white skin, light blue eyes, long blonde hair in ponytails and was wearing a watch with a Uriel crystal in it. She wore a long dress with teal and blue stripes on it, and white furry tall boots. In the street, she was burning a pile of heroin and drugs, while also tossing in adult novels, which were being handed to her by the teacher. The crowd cheered as the so-called banned books crumbled and fizzled in the flames.
Docile gasped…there was no mistaking the white family mark on her forehead that also matched the one on Docile.
"HOLLY!" Docile called.
The woman turned around and smiled in surprise. "DOCILE?!"
"That's your sister, isn't it?" Tirred asked.
"Yep," Docile sighed.
"Oh, my twin brother!" Holly Wata raced toward him with a hug. Docile flinched. "It's been too long! I've been looking everywhere for you. I searched much of Diligence but then figured you were near E.L.F. You weren't there, but by then, it was time for me to head to Earth."
"Earth?" Docile asked, stepping back. "How are you allowed to go to Earth?"
Holly brushed her blonde hair back. "You know how in Hell, succubi and incubi can travel to Earth thanks to magical crystals from Asmodeus? How Asmodeus allows them to come up to Earth to spread drugs, lust, and other sins in an attempt to bring more humans to Hell? Yeah, we angels do not like the thought of those filthy beings taking over Earth and especially not Heaven. So, Uriel, archangel of the Chasity Halo formed a group of angels of many species, including elves to help counter that spread. Thanks to these Uriel crystals, we come up here to spread the Good News, and warn humans about the dangers of drugs and sex. Timmy is a human that works for me."
"I helped fund the abstinence classes for schools," Timmy smiled. "Still seems to work…mostly…"
Docile groaned out loud. "Holly, I've told you before. I know you have good intentions of wanting to make the world a better place. But your methods seem a little extreme."
"You really think being passive about these issues will stop the demons from influencing mortal's minds?" Holly asked, folding her arms. "No one is doing anything to stop them and that is why I must continue the mission. As a matter of fact…"
She stepped closer. "I'm surprised you didn't join me much earlier." Docile gulped.
Timmid seethed. "Hey, lady! That's my boss. He's been very busy coming to Earth as well to…"
"Save humans from early death and demons?" Holly asked. "Yes, I know about that. But the thing is…heading to Earth to do such dirty work? That's usually for the cherubs and it is very risky without human disguises."
"I use mine all the time…" Docile began.
"You may try and save all the humans you can, but with demons still leading people to suicide and possession and so many vices, the cycle will never end. The only way to truly slow down the madness is to shine the light of righteousness at the source. Once more humans are aware of the sins and the demons and choose to stop, the demons won't have any leverage. More humans will be protected by the Lord's grace…at least the worthy ones…and those demons will leave Earth alone…especially after Judgment Day is over with."
"That's not for another eternity," Timmid mentioned.
"No! It could happen at any time!" Holly remarked. "Jesus needs to know that many people can be redeemed, the more the better. We angels are here to help speed up the process."
"I like your thinking!" Tirred exclaimed, but then added, "Still, it would be much better to fight the demons outright. Maybe send the Exorcists to Earth as well as Hell?"
There was an intense silence. Even the protestors stopped in the snow in confusion. "Look at their stupid alien elf costumes," one of them muttered. "They're green Vulcans!"
"HEAVEN'S NO!" cried Holly and Docile at the same time. "You know how bloodthirsty those things are?!"
Docile and Holly looked at each other. "Jinx!" Holly laughed as Docile rolled his eyes. She laughed more before turning serious again.
"Please, Docile, I need your help. You have great choir and performance skills like me, but you're also a great leader. I know you don't like any pressure, like when Dad wanted you to be an Exorcist, but I promise, this will be different. No violence, no sadness, none of that. You will empower the humans with your words and gradually eliminate sin one day at a time. I am lucky to be able to have this decent work, and I'll be even luckier to have you by my side. I don't want you gone for so long again."
"So, what do you think?" she asked. "Are you ready to make a difference in the world?"
Docile lowered his head, feeling guilty about upsetting his sister. He looked at his employees. Holly was his family, but at the same time, Docile had found a new family. There was a strange feeling inside that told him that ruthless violence or dogmatic propaganda were not real solutions against the demonic threats. Not that he wanted to befriend any demons…but perhaps…demons could be redeemed in their own way? Why hadn't God stopped them already? With a snap of His fingers, the demons could just disappear. But why allow them to exist…why allow sin to grip the minds of mortals and immortals alike? And was sin completely bad…or perhaps it could be modified to better fit the needs of all the parties?
Docile gazed at the loud demanding protest ahead of him and saw that it was just adding fuel to the fire, literally. Flames rose up as more books and adult sex toys were added to the burning pile. A kid screamed and cried as a red-devil teddy bear was snatched away from him by Timmy. The toy was tossed into the inferno, plastic eyes melting. A gay lesbian couple sobbed in the background as a framed picture of them was tossed into the fire, too.
Docile thought about what his mother had said when he was little, his mother who had very different beliefs than many denizens of Heaven: "Sometimes the ugliest meanest monster needs the most love. And sometimes the brightest angel can be a master of deception." Docile could almost see his mother's face in the flames.
"I think…" Docile began, gathering courage. "I think you need to stop."
Holly raised her eyebrow. "What?"
"This…this is all wrong. Instead of just reminding people to follow Jesus and be good, your crew is policing and punishing people for undesirable behavior. You really think berating people for being gay or unmarried or liking porn in private will change anything?"
"Those sins must be eliminated," Holly said. "No marriage equals no happy families for kids. Look at all the women in careers and more children being neglected. Society will crumble."
"And unhappy marriages or forced marriages mean broken families and dead kids," Docile countered. "You're eliminating natural love."
"God's love is the only love that matters. I'm also steering people away from unconventional and toxic sex," she said. "More porn leads to more abuse and death. And this makes demons all the more powerful."
"I hate porn as much as you do, but sex is a natural instinct," Docile said, fist raised. "Teens need to be taught how to do it safely and children already know about it. You can't try to avoid something that will happen to most everyone."
"People cannot control their primal instincts. The only proper way is with a married couple for procreation. The demons latch onto everything else."
"So, I guess humanity needs to die out since no one can do sex right."
"You have no morals, brother."
"And you have no compassion for mortals. You claim to want to save them, but you don't know how complex they are. You don't even warn people of gun dangers!"
"You don't understand mortals, either. Perhaps it's time for you to learn that saving mortals is not all fun and games. And we still need guns for protection."
"So criminals can keep shooting children? Why aren't we burning guns in your pile?!"
Holly was at a loss for words. "Um…I-I guess so we can shoot those who would dare burn the Bible?"
"You sound like Dad in a bad mood," Docile shook his head. "There's a good reason why I decided to not see you all this time."
Holly gasped. "You…you deliberately wanted to stay away from me?!"
In a flash of light, Holly Wata turned into her true elf form: dark teal green skin, pointy elf ears, blue/teal eyes, bald like Docile, white angel wings on her back and a halo over her head. Black scar lines decorated her arms. Tears fell from her eyes. "W-why can't we just get along and spend time like when we were kids? I can't believe you!"
"You don't believe me anymore? Well, believe this!" Docile cried, pulling out his staff. A jet of holy water shot out from his staff, dowsing the fire. The protestors started to boo.
Holly tried to slap the staff from her brother's hands. "No, I will not let you sabotage my job!"
Tirred growled. "I like your work but keep your hands off my boss!"
"Actually," Tirred continued, "I think it's time to tell Timmy that the person he tried to save is happy and safe in Heaven."
"Oh, thank Jesus," Timmy sighed with relief.
"Timmid, could you go with Timmy and tell our client's family that he's okay?"
"Yes, sir," Timmid smiled.
"Hey, I'm the sir here!" Docile glared at Tirred.
"I just wanna get this mission done."
Timmid grabbed onto Timmy and teleported away.
Holly pulled out her staff and shot a sphere of light that spread around the area. The crowd walked safely away as if nothing were happening. They ripped their jackets off, revealing their usual work clothes. Docile and Tirred clashed staffs with Holly, who was more than a match for both of them. Holly flipped into the air, sending blasts of light at the duo. Tirred and Docile dodged the attacks, moving toward her on either side. She jumped onto both of their staffs before ascending into the air. She twirled around, sending the blasts of light from Docile's staff back at them.
Docile dodged the blasts again.
Before long, Timmid and Timmy returned in a flash of light. "We're back," she said. "Timmy managed to find the family and I blessed them."
"Good work, Timmid," Tirred began before he was knocked into the air by Holly. Timmid caught him.
"Enough of this, Holly!" Docile brushed off his work suit. "I don't want to fight you!"
Holly looked at Timmy and he lifted up his sign again. This time it said, "Last chance, Docile."
Docile seethed and shook his head. He walked over to Timmy. "Please do something else with your life. You don't have to tell other people what to think."
Holly clicked her tongue sadly. "Have it your way, brother. I'll just send you back home so I can get back to work."
She let out angelic vocals that caused many humans to smile and sway in delight. Light glowed around her in the air and a golden beam light appeared from her staff.
"Watch out, sir!" Tirred yelled, pushing Docile aside. The light flew from her staff, heading right to where Docile was before…
The beam hit Timmy as if it were in slow motion. Timmy gasped as his body turned into a brilliant golden light, his physical features disappearing. He then faded as his soul traveled to Heaven, the now blank sign remaining behind on the ground. The elves stood breathlessly still.
"Yeshua's Holy Backside!" Holly swore in anger. "Thanks a lot, Docile! Now I need a new job! I can't believe I just…"
Docile help up his hands. "It was just an accident! I know we haven't always gotten along, but I won't let you get banished to Hell!"
"You better not!"
"On the bright side, the teachers are now back together in a peaceful world. But now it means we'll have to come back and give Timmy's family comfort," said Timmid.
Tirred groaned. "Can we save that for tomorrow?"
"As far as anyone else knows," Timmid began, "Timmy was walking in the woods and got eaten by a bear. I'll relay the news tomorrow."
"You should've stuck with me," Holly pleaded to Docile. "You just left with no call, no note…please let me help you…let's catch up, amend things…"
"Just because I'm your brother doesn't mean I want to help you in your toxic propaganda," Docile said coldly. "If you keep bothering me like this…then, I never wanna see you, ever!"
More somber silence.
Holly created a light circular portal back to Diligence in Heaven with her crystal, a deep glare at Docile. "The next time you wanna ruin my plans, Docile…don't!" Holly disappeared as the portal closed.
Docile sighed and Tirred and Timmid lowered their heads.
"That was pretty harsh, sir," Tirred mentioned.
"It had to be done," Docile said. "Thank you guys for the help."
"How are we going to get back without a Bible?" Tirred asked.
His question was answered as Holly tossed a Bible onto his head from above, through a light portal.
"Ow!" he spat.
"Let's go," said Docile. He recited a passage, and they were soon out of the snow and back in their clean E.L.F. office. Sunna was fast asleep on the table. She soon woke up. "Hello, everyone, did I miss anything? Why are you guys covered in snow?"
The elves shook off the remaining snow on their heads. "Don't ask," said Docile. He manifested a white mug of hot chocolate with his staff (which read "2ND BEST BOSS 2 GOD") and took a sip.
