I just wanna say a big thank you to everyone who has left a review on this story. I'm sorry for not replying to them, but as you probably know by now, I'm terrible at replying. But I greatly appreciate them all, and they really do keep me motivated to keep posting. So, thank you again ❤
Hope you enjoy this chapter. Only two left after this one ❤❤
Hot, angry tears slipped down my cheeks. It took more effort than I wanted to admit to climb off the bed; my knees buckled, and I crumbled to the floor. It took a couple of minutes for the endorphins to fade, and I remembered why I had to get up.
I had some time before Dimitri got there, but not a lot. My one saving grace was that I didn't tell him exactly where Lissa was. I just prayed it would be enough time for me to warn them.
I searched the apartment only to yell in anger. He took my coat. Dimitri took my fucking coat, that had my stake and my phone in it. He knew the bite wouldn't keep me down for long and took precautions. I crawled over to the fridge, pried open the door, took a protein drink and opened it with shaky hands.
The University was on the other side of town, and I didn't have a car. I would have to run.
I finished one bottle, and took another with me; I carefully climbed to my feet and sent a thankful prayer, to whoever the fuck was listening, that Dimitri didn't take my shoes as well.
The night air whipped at my face as soon as I stepped out onto the street; it had snowed at some point and left a freezing chill in the air that blew through the thin material of my dress. Fuck. I took a deep breath and forced my legs to move.
I had to look insane, racing down the streets in just a dress and boots, a protein shake in hand and blood dried on my neck. The blood loss made me fumble, and the icy path made me slip; I barely managed to catch myself each time and kept running.
I would slip into Lissa's mind, checking every minute if Dimitri was there. She talked with the others—not a single clue that her life was in danger.
A car horn beeped on the street; I ignored it and kept running. They beeped again. And again.
On the fourth time, I glanced over and then did a double-take.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I gasped, skidding to a halt, and stumbling past the layer of snow to the car.
Abe sat in the back of a black car; the door thrown open for me to climb in through. He waited until I was in before replying, "When Yeva wants something, it's easier to just do it."
"Drive as fast as you can to the University!" I shouted at Pavel, gripping the back of the seat as we sped off. "Yeva sent you?" I demanded, "How did she know where I was?"
Abe smirked, "You don't question it. Trust me." He pushed a small bundle towards me with a stern expression, "She said you would need this, and not to mess it up. I'm guessing it has something to do with Dimitri."
I frowned, "Yeah." The bundle turned out to be a coat. Dimitri said his grandmother was a bit like a witch, and I was beginning to believe him.
"Did he do that?"
I looked at Abe and winced when I realised he was glaring at my neck. I pulled on the coat and yanked at the collar. "I won't mess it up," I muttered, "One way or another, I'm stopping Dimitri."
I felt the weight of it in the pocket; it felt like lead and burned me through the fabric.
I had to make a decision.
We pulled into the parking lot when I felt the spike of fear from Lissa; I was yanked into her mind as Dimitri punched my mother in the face. Eddie ordered them to hide and Christian took Lissa's hand and ran.
"I have to do this for Rose," Dimitri reasoned as he squared up against Eddie.
I pulled myself back to my body as Abe said something, I ignored him and threw open the car door while we still moved. He called out my name, but I had to get to Lissa. I was on the other side of the building while Lissa and Christian ran up the stairs—there wasn't anywhere else they could go but up. I wouldn't be able to get to them before Dimitri reached the roof.
I stared up at the four-story building, eyes searching frantically before setting on the water pipe that ran down the side. It wasn't that different to the pipe I used to climb at the academy when breaking into Stan's room on the third floor. I used to be able to scale the wall in under two minutes—take too long and you ran the risk of being caught.
My mind was made up. I raced towards the building and jumped to get a good head start. The world spun dangerously, but I clung to the pipe and began to climb.
Lissa was terrified, trying to make sense of why Dimitri attacked—why he was after her. Christian kept her moving, slamming the door to the roof closed behind them.
"What do we do?" Lissa gasped. All she had was the charmed stake in her hand, but what use would it be if Dimitri was trying to kill her? We both imagined that he would be a willing participant. I planned to hold his hand and tell him how much I loved him before Lissa would restore him. Now, I knew that was wishful thinking that would get my friends killed. Dimitri already proved he was willing to take me out of the fight, he would do it again if he had the chance.
Christian stood in front of her, a fireball ready in the palm of his hand. "Just stay behind me."
I shook my head clear, instantly regretting it as a wave of dizziness made me sway. My foot slipped, and I scrambled to regain my footing. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck," I muttered, adjusting my hands and pulling myself up further. I was getting distracted and almost dying because of it.
As I neared the top, I heard the door get kicked open; Lissa screamed, and her fear went through my heart like a knife.
"Why are you doing this?" Lissa begged, "What about Rose? I thought you loved her."
"I do," Dimitri answered calmly, not an ounce of regret in his voice. It was cold and so different from how he spoke to me. "I'm doing this because I love her. I'm going to save her."
My stomach twisted and I gritted my teeth. How could I have been so stupid not to realise that the kindness Dimitri showed was only to me? Dimitri loved me, I couldn't deny that, but I let myself believe that made him good. All the times he saved my friends' lives, it was only because he was focused on saving me.
When I reached the top, I knew what I would have to do. Before I believed that Dimitri would agree—he would allow me to save him, but now, I had to accept that I would have to kill him to protect my best friend.
A fireball flew past my head; one that had barely missed Dimitri as he tried to get close to Lissa. Christian was unrelenting, a look of rage and determination as he fought against him. Lissa was the first to notice me, and Dimitri was the last.
I climbed onto the roof and rushed him. Dimitri dodged my punch, a look of irritation on his face. I swung at him again and he caught my wrist, glaring down at me as he snarled, "You shouldn't have come here."
I kicked him in the knee and followed with another hit to the stomach, pushing him back from Lissa. "You can't believe I would let you do this?" My fist caught his jaw, snapping his head to the side. "You're forcing me to choose between you and Lissa!"
Dimitri retaliated, backhanding me across the face. It left me dazed for a moment; he was holding back his strength, but I was weak enough that it wouldn't take much to knock me down. "I love you, Roza," Dimitri promised as if it made everything okay, "Soon, you'll understand that."
There was no getting through to him. I felt a part of me die as I reached into my pocket and pulled out the stake. "I love you, but what you feel isn't real love." Dimitri could pretend as much as he wanted, and I could keep letting myself fall for the lie. I knew it—always had, but refused to believe it.
Dimitri could never truly love me if he didn't have a soul.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
I lunged at him again, no longer just trading blows, I was aiming for the kill. My energy was waning, and I needed to kill him soon or I wouldn't be able to stop him. Dimitri guarded more than he attacked; the pain in his eyes almost broke me. The affection was gone and all that was left was anguish.
I kicked him away from me, trying to give myself a clean shot at his heart. I couldn't bear to hurt him any more than I had to. A few feet of distance were between us when a wall of fire surrounded him; it was so intense I flinched back from the heat. Dimitri yelled in agony, the fire closing in on him and burning his skin.
Panic took over me, torn between wanting to help him and taking my chance to finish it.
Dimitri's eyes met mine; a hand held out to me as if begging for help. For a second, his expression became calm, and a look of love was aimed at me. I wanted to remember that look. I wanted to lock it away and hold onto the feeling he gave me.
I cradled it close… and then I let it go.
"I'll always love you," I promised.
I drew my stake back, ready to kill the man I loved.
Rose. STOP.
I froze. My body was locked in place as Lissa's voice echoed in my head—her compulsion. I stared at Dimitri as the flames continued to scorch him. His scream of pain made my blood freeze, but I couldn't do anything to end his suffering.
Lissa ran ahead of me, not even a glance back as she placed herself between Dimitri and me.
I can still restore him! She shouted in my head, and I understood what her plan was.
Lissa held the charmed stake in her hand and aimed the sharp point, just as I taught her. With a cry, she struck forward. Dimitri screamed again, desperately trying to fight against her, but the fire was too much. I could feel it burning Lissa's wrist as she forced the stake into his chest.
It wasn't enough. Lissa didn't have the strength and Dimitri kept moving. I fought the compulsion, pain pounded in my head as I made myself take a step, and then another. My stake fell from my fingers and I reached for Lissa's. My palm pressed against the base of the stake, and I reached through the flames to hold Dimitri still. I found his eyes and didn't look away. I couldn't look away.
I felt the stake sink in and hit its mark. When it pierced his heart, it was like everything stopped. For a split second, I saw pure agony on his face and was struck by the realisation that I might have just killed Dimitri.
And then a bright light shined and a wave of power knocked me back. My vision was white out. Every part of me felt overwhelmed, and I couldn't make sense of what I was doing.
The first thing that returned to me was pain; my head was pounding and the skin on my hand felt too tight and warm.
Sound was second. Someone was crying.
I blinked and continued to until the light faded and I could see the night sky again. I was lying on my back. Why was I on my back?
With a groan, I rolled onto my side, searching for who was crying. My instincts screamed at me to go to them. At first, I thought it was Lissa, but it didn't sound like her. Their voice was deeper—pained. There was so much pain in their sobs.
I sat up, throwing my hand out to balance myself, only to regret it as pain shot up my arm. I looked at my hand, discovering the skin scarred and blistered. I put it into the fire. I held Dimitri still with that hand.
Dimitri!
My head snapped to the side, finally locating the source of the crying. I was right that it wasn't Lissa—it was Dimitri. He laid on the ground, curled up with his head on Lissa's lap and tears running down his face.
I found Dimitri's eyes, and my breath caught. I wondered what he would look like without the red ring around his pupils. Even in the dark of the night, I could see his eyes were beautiful—a deep captivating brown that I could get lost in.
Dimitri stared back at me, an expression that I couldn't name aimed at me.
Ignoring my pain, I climbed onto my hands and knees and crawled towards them. I hesitated before I could reach them.
What if he didn't want me?
"Rose," Lissa cooed, fingers brushing my unblemished wrist. Her other hand brushed through Dimitri's hair soothingly. She smiled at me, glanced down and then back at me, a soft nod to answer my unspoken question.
Lissa shifted back as I moved forward. I half expected Dimitri to jerk away from me, but instead, he clung to me. His fingers curled around the fabric of my dress, pulling it taut as he buried his face in my lap. His shoulders shook, and a powerful sob ripped from his throat. "I'm so sorry, Roza," he cried, and I broke from the numbness that had clouded my mind since I accepted I had to kill him.
I curled around him, holding onto him desperately as tears of my own fell. I could feel his body heat and it made me cry. "It's okay, Dimitri," I promised, rubbing his back and kissing his shoulders, "It's okay. Everything will be okay."
It was better than I could have imagined; I almost had to pinch myself to prove it wasn't a dream.
Dimitri was a dhampir again.
Abe studied me across the kitchen counter, lips pursed and arms crossed. His three-piece suit was immaculate and an eye-sore; the neon green was a choice I wish he would never make again. He had offered to take me shopping for clothes as a birthday gift, and I quickly turned him down. I didn't trust that man's taste in fashion.
But there was something else he could do for me.
"So?" I asked tentatively, "Do you think you can do it?"
He clicked his tongue, eyes shifting to the couch where Janine sat with a sour look. While she had a sizable bruise from the fight with Dimitri, her pride was hurt more than anything. Even Eddie had minimal battle wounds. Dimitri was only there to kill Lissa, his twisted sense of love meant that he wouldn't hurt them more than he had to. Lissa was the only threat to me.
"Of course, I can do it," Abe scoffed. I still hadn't been told exactly what Abe did, just that he was more well-known as Zmey and had more connections than any member of the Royal Council. He rolled his shoulders and planted his palms on the countertop. "It will be tricky, but doable. It might take some time to get everything arranged."
I released the breath I was holding, and a sense of relief and hope washed over me. "Thanks," I told him, then glanced down the hall, "It's okay if it takes some time. He still needs some."
I took my time as I approached my room, counting the steps, and halted at my doorway. The first thing that stood out to me was that I didn't feel the wave of nausea anymore; I had grown so used to the feeling when around Dimitri that it felt wrong not to feel it. It wasn't something I would miss.
It took a lot of convincing for my mother to let Dimitri stay with us, and a little bit of compulsion and the fear of Zmey to convince the other guardians to keep their mouths shut. Not only had the Princess been attacked, but a Strigoi was restored—both were events to write home about, but I didn't want to risk it. Who knows what they would want to do to Dimitri?
So, with him silent and clinging to my side, I led Dimitri to my room and laid beside him the whole night and most of the day. There was a lot of crying and apologising, and then it was just silence.
Once the first sun rays peeked through my bedroom window, Dimitri was just silent. He stared at the light for a while before building the courage to touch it. He was terrified of it—his hands had shook and hesitated before the light touched his fingers.
I sat in the bed and watched in awe. It was the first time in a year since Dimitri could be in the sunlight.
The next task was to get him to eat. Dimitri had still been admiring the sun on his skin and didn't respond when I asked what he liked. I realised that I knew what kind of blood type he liked but had no idea what his favourite food was.
In a panic, I grabbed one of everything in the pantry and dropped the selection on the foot of my bed; I ran back into the kitchen to grab the drinks and again dropped it on the bed. I tried to arrange it, rambling about each item. That time, it was my hands that shook.
I pushed my hair behind my ear and dropped to my knees as I fiddled with a packet of biscuits. "I think Lissa said these were popular in Russia," I tried, holding it towards him with a weak smile. Dimitri just stared back and my face fell. "I–I can get something else. I can go to the store. Or…or I can order something." I scrambled onto the bed and crawled to my phone, quickly unlocking it.
Long fingers covered mine and slipped the phone from my hands. I stared at his hand, feeling the warmth his body gave. My eyes snapped to his and waited. Dimitri's lips twitched as if he were about to smile, but it never formed. "This is fine," he nodded at the pile on the bed, and grabbed the closest item, "Thank you."
After that, Dimitri became silent again, and I tried not to be a burden. I could tell he was lost in his thoughts—memories of what he did. Now and then, guilt would pull at his features and his head would bow, a soft muttering in Russian that I couldn't understand.
I had offered him a towel and change of clothes so he could shower an hour ago, and left him to speak to Abe. I made a deal—I would spend some time with him in exchange, he would set up a cover story for Dimitri.
Even if we didn't tell Court about his restoration, we had to find some way to explain his disappearance from the guardian world and sudden return.
If he even wanted to return…
I tried not to focus on that. I hoped that was just the Strigoi that thought that way, and Dimitri didn't hate me for bringing him back into that world.
He stood by the window, the glass slid open so the breeze could come in. It chilled the room, but the afternoon sun helped provide some warmth. Dimitri was in the loose pants and singlet I gave him, a towel around his shoulders and wet hair dripped onto it.
His eyes were closed and a peaceful expression was on his face. I don't know how long I stared at him before he spoke, "I forgot what it felt like."
"The sun?" I asked and ventured further in.
Dimitri nodded; eyes cracking open to look at me. "That, and to feel cold."
I looked at his arms and saw the hairs on his arms standing up. His skin was so tanned compared to before. "You know, you can catch a cold now."
His lip twitched again, almost a smile. "Dhampirs don't get colds." I sucked in a breath. Dhampirs. Dimitri really was one again.
"You're right," I returned. "You're one of us again, comrade. Now I won't be the only one eating a whole pizza." I dropped my eyes and began to pick at the bandage over my wrist and palm. I didn't let Lissa heal the burn, she was exhausted from restoring Dimitri, and I didn't want to add to it.
Fingers caught mine, a graze of his skin before he pulled back. "Does it hurt?"
"No," I lied. His hand suddenly lifted to my chin and tilted my head back. Our eyes met and I was mesmerised by the sun colouring his eyes. Flecks of amber shone.
"Roza." I warmed at how he said my name. His tone was softer—warmer—but still held the same warning when he knew I was lying.
I rolled my eyes. "Fine, yes. But it's okay, it's not that bad." The pain was worth it.
"What's wrong? You've been quiet."
A laugh bubbled up, and I quickly swallowed it. I continued to study Dimitri, looking at every part of his face and replacing the image in my mind. My imagination could not do justice to how amazing he looked as a dhampir, and in the sunlight. I kept being drawn back to his eyes.
I could almost fool myself into thinking they held some affection for me.
But Dimitri's eyes were full of sorrow and guilt. A weight was on his shoulders and he tried to make himself smaller. And I put it there…
"Do you hate me?" the question fell from my lips before I could stop it.
It surprised Dimitri; his brows knitted together and his lips parted. "Why would you think that?"
I began to pick at the bandage again. "Because of what I did," I breathed, "for months. Everything I did with you. And then I tried to kill you, and I… I forced you to return to this life. Do you hate me for everything I did?"
His expression became guarded and I could feel him pull away from me. His hand dropped from my chin but lowered to my neck—fingertips hovering an inch from my skin. "You said that what I felt wasn't real love, and you're right. What I felt wasn't real."
I couldn't stop the tear that rolled down my cheek.
Dimitri cupped my cheek, wiping the tear with the pad of his thumb. His eyes softened, "It wasn't real, but it was the closest I could come to love. I could never hate anything that we did, because you made me want to be better. Before I met you… I did many horrible things. I was a monster, Rose. The number of people I killed–" he cut himself off, anguish pulled at his features. "I didn't deserve your trust, but you gave it to me, and I wanted to be better for you.
"I meant it that you saved me, Roza. And now, you have. You saved my soul; you brought me back and gave me a second chance that I never believed I would have." Both his hands framed my face, a look of awe directed at me. "I could never hate you."
More tears escaped, and I pulled back embarrassed, wiping my face with the sleeve of my shirt. "Sorry. You shouldn't have to comfort me. You're the one that had the life-altering experience." I turned around to compose myself when I was drawn back to Dimitri, his arms encased me and held me close.
The embrace was so warm. It was so different to every hug we shared, yet so similar at the same time. Everything about Dimitri was the same—familiar, yet it all felt new. The closest to the embrace was when he wore my charmed ring, a tenderness and reverence in his touch. But it was the warmth and the steady beat of his heart that made my heart squeeze.
Dimitri was alive.
He was alive, and he still wanted me.
It shouldn't have been my main concern. I wanted to save Dimitri so he could be free of the curse of being a monster. I wanted to give him back to his family that he cared so deeply for. It wasn't just for me, but I had been choked by the idea that it was the Strigoi that wanted me, and not him.
I knew everything was still fresh—there was no guarantee. But as long as he wanted me by his side, I would stay there and cherish every moment.
