Chapter 26- Catharsis
Kitty sat on the blue velvet bench in front of her vanity, staring at her reflection in the looking glass. She'd combed her hair after her bath, but hadn't done anything else with it. The long, damp, red coils dripped down her back, leaving streaks on her dressing gown, while wisps of fine baby hair curled and clung to her forehead.
Her eyes had locked on the reflection of the brandy decanter that sat on a mahogany cart near the fireplace. She swallowed hard, willing herself to remain seated on the bench until the urge to have a drink dissipated. Remember what Ezra said, Kathleen. Alcohol only makes a problem worse.
She attempted to distract herself by concentrating on her hair. Should I leave it down? Pull it up on the sides with a ribbon? A ponytail? Yes, that's it- a simple ponytail.
Kitty tightly pulled her hair high onto the center of the back of her head, securing the long tresses with a thick blue ribbon.
She leaned toward the looking glass, closely examining a few new wrinkles around her eyes, jumping at a sudden pounding on her bedroom door.
"Mama!" Ezra shouted, "Can I come in?"
"Of course, Sweetheart," she answered, relieved that her youngest son had shaken her from her trance.
The happy boy skipped into the room, his arms swinging back and forth. "How come ya haven't come down yet? You came upstairs t' take a bath before the bigs even went t' school," he fingered the satin ribbon at the top of his mother's dressing gown.
Kitty pulled the boy onto her lap, "I don't rightly know, Ezra. Seems your mama is having a hard time getting herself put together this mornin'."
"Miss Abelia told Daddy ya didn't eat yer breakfast."
"Oh, she did, did she?" she smiled, brushing his dark curls to the side, "And what did your daddy say t' that?"
"Nuthin'. He just grunted, kinda like a bear."
Kitty couldn't help but laugh out loud at Ezra's accurate description of his father.
"Is Daddy back from town yet?" she stood, settling the boy on her bed before she popped into the water closet to get dressed.
"No. Oh! And señora said t' tell you that Maggie will need some mama's milk soon."
"Thank you, Ezra."
"Mama?" he started to jump on the bed.
"Yes?" she replied from the water closet.
"Will…I…be a…'big'…when…I go… t' school…next…year?" he asked, his words spoken in rhythm with his jumping .
"Ezra Festus," Kitty half-heartedly reprimanded as she re-entered the room, buttoning her cuffs, "Just what do you think you're doing?"
He heavily flopped onto his bottom, panting, "Sorry, Mama."
"Uh-huh," she smirked as she sat next to him to put on her boots, "And to answer your question-Yes, you will be a 'big' when you go t' school next September."
"Woo-whooo!" he shouted as he ran out of the room, "I told ya, Scarlett! I told ya!" his voice slowly fading as he ran down the stairs.
Kitty smiled and shook her head, amazed at the fact that the younger children had seemed relatively unfazed by the wild activity the night before. Thankfully, Doc had been able to calm the children by telling them that Sadie had had a bone to pick with Mr. Ritter, and the skirmmish had nothing to do with anyone at the Legacy D.
"Okay," she muttered as she smoothed one of her hands over the top of her slickly pulled back hair, "Time to face the music, Mrs. Dillon."
The redhead turned on her boot heel, abruptly finding herself in front of the bar cart. She opened and closed her hands into fists a couple of times before leaving her bedroom. Go feed your baby, Kathleen.
XXXXXXXX
Matt silently stood by the kitchen table, staring at his wife and three youngest children. Kitty sat in his overstuffed chair, with Ezra straddling the puffy armrest while Maggie and Scarlett sat upon their mother's lap.
The big man rotated his hat in his hands while he observed Kitty animatedly reading Goldilocks and the Three Bears, his three little ones enthralled by her myriad of voices.
"This porridge is too hot," Kitty spoke three octaves higher than her normal voice, "And this porridge is too cold-"
"Sounds like every breakfast at Delmonico's," Matt interrupted, brightly smiling as he entered the sitting room.
Kitty couldn't help but chuckle before warmly greeting, "Hello there, stranger. Care t' join us?"
"Yes, Daddy! Yes!" Scarlett pled while Maggie lifted her arms up as high as she could, wordlessly begging for her daddy to hold her.
"Actually," Matt picked up Maggie and secured her onto his hip, "I was hoping to take your mama here for a little buggy ride."
"Oh, were you now?" Kitty smirked, coyly tilting her head to the side.
"I most certainly was," he devoured her with his eyes, "We need to catch up and talk about a few things."
As if on cue, Doc shuffled into the sitting room with a copy of the Dodge City Bulletin tucked under his arm and a cup of coffee in his hand.
"Doc, ya think you could finish reading to the littles here and then feed 'em some dinner?" Matt asked, "Kitty and I need some time."
The elderly man put down his cup and thoughtfully tugged on his earlobe. He swallowed hard, "You bet I can," he nodded as he sat himself down on the settee. "Bring me the book, please, Ezra."
Within a few minutes, Matt and Kitty were slowly traveling in the small buggy across their property. They sat in silence, both lost in their own thoughts for a while.
"We need to talk about last night and some other things," Matt began, keeping his eyes on the unbeaten path ahead. "I was going to speak with you last night after I'd talked to the boys and settled 'em down, but then I found you asleep in Addie's bed."
Kitty restlessly tugged on the cuffs of her gloves, "Addie was scared, Matt. She heard Sadie say you were the father of her baby."
"She what?!" Matt shouted, immediately pulling Gladiola to a stop.
"She managed to outfox Doc and ran to the corral side of the barn and spied on us. I saw her there. She ran away before Sadie pointed out Josiah," she looked into Matt's shocked, somber eyes, cupping his cheek with her gloved hand, "Oh, Matt, our poor girl thought you were going to leave us t' move in with Sadie. Or worse yet, make us leave the ranch so she could move in."
"Oh my God," he quietly sighed, holding Kitty's hand, "That explains why she didn't say a word to me on the way to school. Neither did Matthew," he took a deep breath, murmuring, "I'll talk to her later today. If I'd just used better judgement all along the way…"
After a moment of silence, Matt snapped the reins to continue their journey.
"How come you came home early?" he asked, "I thought you were going to be gone two weeks. Was Ezra's patient better?"
The redhead studied the landscape, quietly answering, "I just had the urge t' come home. I missed everyone so much. Especially after Lydia tried to kill herself."
"Kill herself! Honey, what on Earth went on in Kansas City?!"
Kitty studied her gloved hands, "She and I talked a lot. She'd been taken…like me," she spoke just loud enough for Matt to hear, her body lightly swaying with the motion of the buggy, "and she found out she's pregnant…like I did."
Without saying a word, Matt clasped his large hand over both of hers, squeezing gently.
"Let's just say her husband wasn't quite as supportive as mine was, though," she lovingly gazed at her man, offering him a tiny grin, "They fought and well, I suppose she just figured it would be easier t' just fade away."
"Oh, Kitty, Sweetheart," he once again pulled back on the reins, bringing them to a halt, Kitty not noticing their location.
"Lydia's alive, and she has a plan, so that's a good thing," Kitty forced a grin as she wiped away a tear before it could fall. She gasped once she noticed where their journey had ended. Nervously fidgeting, she stared at the tiny house she'd explored just over a week ago.
"I want t' show you something," Matt seriously stated, offering Kitty his assistance in exiting their conveyance.
"Matt," Kitty anxiously asked as he lowered her to the ground, "why are we here?" Oh, God, is he going to show me where he's been?
"Just come with me," the big man wrapped his arm around her waist, escorting her to the porch as the cold, January air nipped at their cheeks.
Matt ceremoniously threw open the wooden door, gesturing with his outstretched arm, "Ladies first."
Kitty slowly entered the warm, tiny house, noticing a well-built fire burning brightly in the centralized fireplace. She glanced around the diminuative sitting room, noting that a colorful woven rug and some simple, blue curtains had been added since her last visit.
"What's going on here, Matt?" she slowly turned to face her husband as she removed her hat and gloves.
"Well, Honey, I wanted to save the surprise for your birthday next month, but after all that's happened recently, I thought a New Years' surprise was needed," he removed his hat, tossing it onto the gently worn, plaid settee.
"Surprise me?" the stunned redhead whispered, slowly shaking her head.
"Well, yeah. Here, let me help you with your coat," he assisted Kitty and then removed his own coat, hanging both on new wall pegs he'd just hammered in that very morning.
"I don't think I understand," she slowly walked around the stone fireplace into the tiny kitchen.
"Once Luisa came t' work for us, we for sure lost our private room in the cow barn. We'd always had the loft at the Triple D as our special place, and I figured this was a more than suitable replacement."
"What?" she whispered, not able to focus on anything as she placed her hands over her face, peeking between two fingers.
"Come 'ere," Matt splayed his large hand on the small of his wife's back, leading her into the small bedroom that he'd furnished with a big bed and a side table.
Kitty stood at the foot of the bed, "Oh, Matt," she sighed, suddenly realizing just how wrong she'd been, "this place is for us?" she gazed deeply into his eyes through her tears.
"Well, yeah," he grinned with pride, his thumbs hooked over his belt, "I've been working on cleanin' it up and furnishing it little-by-little over the last few weeks."
"But how?" she wondered, her mouth agape, "When did you find the time?"
"Early in the mornings, after supper, on my way home from dropping the bigs at school."
"You mean all those times we couldn't find you, you were here? Doing all this for me?" Oh, God, all those times I suspected you were with other women.
"Maybe. I don't rightly know about all those times," he shrugged, "But I did this for us, Honey. We still need our alone time. And look," he opened the drawer of his side table, nodding his head toward his folded bandana, a devilish grin upon his face, "I even brought some of Doc's contraband."
Kitty smirked, her heart filled with joy, "One can't be too careful."
"I also equipped this room with something else I know you'll like," he reached behind one of the pillows, producing a bottle of Napoleon brandy. He held it up, grinning like a Cheshire cat, "Care for a drink, Honey?"
Kitty felt her heart race and her palms sweat. She slowly turned and walked to half-heartedly gaze out of the one window in the room. She spread her right hand over her heart, blurting, "Thanks for thinking of it, but I'm not gonna be drinking for a while."
"I beg your pardon?" Matt shook his head at the shocking statement, placing the bottle on his side table.
"I'm serious, Matt," she turned to face him, confessing, "I've been drinking much too much. You haven't noticed because," she paused, pursing her lips, "just because."
Her husband understood what she'd wanted to say, but hadn't. You haven't noticed because you've been out with the fellas.
She continued, folding her arms just below her breasts, "Anyhow, I wanted t' say those words out loud, so you can help me stay off the sauce."
"You're hardly a Louie Pheeters, Kitty," he chuckled.
"And I don't wanna be," she approached her husband, entwining both of her hands with his, "I've got a houseful of little responsibilities, you know?" she grinned, her eyes sparkling.
"Okay, Kitty. I'll remove the brandy from our room here and at home, if you think that'll help."
"It will. Thank you."
"I love you, Kitty," the big man softly kissed her forehead.
"I love you, too, Matt. Thank you so much for fixing the little house. I really do love it."
"I bought the furniture second hand. I hope a don't mind."
"Not at all," she breathed, slowly lowering herself onto the edge of the bed, "Matt, I need t' tell you something."
The big man bit the inside of his cheek, studying the grave expression on his wife's face. He squatted in front of her to meet her troubled gaze.
"No. You don't," he firmly stated, placing his huge hands upon her knees.
"Yes, Matt, I do," Kitty's voice quivered, tears filling her eyes as she lowered her chin to her shoulder.
"No, Kathleen, you don't," the big man stood to his full height and began to walk to the opposite side of the bed. He plopped himself down and began to remove his boots, sighing, "I think we both have had a rough time lately…"
While remaining seated with their backs to each other, they both slowly undressed.
Once stripped to only her frilly pantaloons and corset, Kitty quietly offered, "It's not what you may think. I just feel I should tell you-"
Matt cut her off as he unceremoniously removed his union suit, "I said we don't need t' talk about it. Neither of us. Today, here in this place, is a new beginning for you and me. Now hurry on up and get under the covers with me."
The wife and mother suddenly felt shy, covering her breasts with her arm as she threw her corset onto the floor to join the rest of her clothing. She quickly joined her husband under the warm blankets, where he'd waited for her with open arms.
Kitty nestled into her husband's embrace, resting her head upon his chest. She traced small circles around his nipples, asking, "What do you think Sadie will do?"
"I have a feeling she'll marry Bubba Pounds. I spoke with him briefly at the Blacksmith's this morning. He said he'd marry her and take her t' Jetmore. He's been offered a good job there," Matt gently ran his fingers up and down her arm.
"Do you see your younger self in him at all, Matt?" she rested her hand near her husband's navel.
"Huh?" Matt raised his head slightly off his pillow, "See myself in him? What are you talking about, Honey?"
"Well," Kitty rested her chin atop her husband's chest, gazing into his hooded eyes, "once upon a time, you were in love with a working girl who got herself in trouble by a married man. And just recently, you yourself told me that if you'd known about that baby, you would've married me," she slowly straddled his waist, lovingly taking in his rugged features, "Bubba Pounds sounds an awful lot like the young Marshal Dillon," she declared in her deep, whiskey voice.
"I suppose so," Matt offered his wife a provocative grin as he held onto her waist, adjusting himself under her.
Kitty leaned over, ardently kissing her husband while tantalizingly pulling the ribbon from her hair. Her red tresses fell, cascading over her shoulders, forming a crimson curtain around their faces.
Matt's hands rested at the apex of her legs, barely touching her moist curls. "I do believe you are trying to seduce me, Mrs. Dillon," he murmured against her lips.
"Moi?" she coyly splayed her hand over her chest.
Matt flipped a squealing Kitty onto her back, purposefully placing his mouth over one of her dusky nipples, gently suckling, causing his lover to buck, silently begging for more.
"Oh, Cowboy," she softly moaned, running her fingers through his salt and pepper waves, "please don't make me wait too long."
Leaning toward the side table, he grumbled, "Just give me a second, Honey…patience. I promise it'll be worth the wait."
"I love you, Matthew Dillon," she declared, her sultry eyes imploring him to hurry.
XXXXXXXX
Matt casually draped his arm over Kitty's waist as she laid with her back pressed firmly into his chest, the couple fitting together like two perfect puzzle pieces. He nuzzled his face into her lilac scented hair, inhaling deeply.
"Matt?"
"Uh-huh?"
"I had a couple of encounters with Sadie in town."
"You did?" he raised his head off his pillow.
"She's very bold for an eighteen-year-old. She told me you were 'her man'. That you loved her and promised her things. She was quite proud to inform me that you'd gotten her pregnant, too."
"Aww, Honey-"
Kitty barely spoke above a whisper, "I just knew in my heart it couldn't have been you." She twisted the blankets around her hand, pulling them into her chest.
Matt placed his head back on his pillow, pulling his beloved even closer. He deeply breathed, inquiring, "You said Lydia made a plan. I'm curious. Did you have a plan, Kitty? I mean, just in case."
After a moment of silence, she whispered, "I did."
"Care t' share it?"
"Only if you really want t' know," she turned to face him, her bare breasts pressing against his heated flesh.
"Please," he tenderly brushed some copper strands off her cheek and tucked them behind her ear.
Kitty swallowed hard, whispering as she placed her hand upon his cheek, "If…and I mean if, you thought it could've been true...I would have asked you t' leave."
"You would've?" he searched her big blue eyes, somewhat surprised at her frankness.
"I could have never continued on as if the child didn't exist. I have my pride, you know."
"Was that the only part of your plan, Mrs. Dillon?" he asked softly, rubbing her back.
She could no longer meet his gaze, nuzzling her face next against his chest. She sighed, "We need to get home, Matt. I bet Festus has already left t' get the bigs."
"A few more minutes isn't going to make a difference one way or the other, Hon."
Kitty abruptly left the bed, beginning to rapidly dress as she collected her garments from the floor.
Matt also stood and grabbed his union suit and socks off the floor. "I'm waiting, Kathleen."
Kitty plopped onto the bed, making a show out of pulling her stockings up her long, shapely legs.
"Your attempts at distraction won't work, Darlin'. C'mon…tell me the rest of your plan."
She stood, shaking her skirt into place over her petticoats. "Okay, you asked for it," she turned to face him, crossing her arms over her chest, "If I'd felt the whispers and gossip would've been too much for the children to bear, I would've taken them away. Ya happy now?" she started to remake her side of the bed.
Matt silently stood; his hands poised to button his shirt. He slowly blinked, "You would've taken our children away from me? Away from Dodge?"
"Matt, it's neither here nor there. And you did ask," she straightened the pillows.
"That I did," he muttered, shuddering at the thought of not being able to watch his children grow.
The buggy ride home was mostly silent, but for the sound of the squeaking wagon wheels and Gladiola snorting and blowing.
Kitty finally cracked, "Are you mad at me, Matt? Because I answered your question truthfully?"
He chewed his bottom lip, "No, Honey, I'm not mad. Your answer was honest. Reminds me how much a man stands to lose."
XXXXXXXX
"Addie seems like her old self," Matt stated as he climbed into bed, thankful that everything had seemed back to normal at the Dillon supper table.
"She sure does," Kitty commented as she removed her dressing gown before joining him, "I had a little pow wow with her after school and explained everything again. At least everything an eleven-year-old can comprehend."
"And I was surprised that Matthew wanted to hear about the day he was born for their bedtime story," the big man patted his chest, inviting his wife to rest her head there, "I think he just may need a little extra attention this week."
"Probably," the exhausted redhead yawned.
"I've been thinking something, too."
"Hmm?"
"If something should happen t' me while the children are still growing up-"
"Matt!" Kitty shrieked as she bolted upright, her eyes narrowing, "Don't even talk like that!"
"You're gonna hear me out, Woman," he grinned, pulling her back into his embrace, "If something happens to me, I want you to marry again."
"Matt! Stop this!" she disentangled herself from his grasp, "What has gotten into you all of a sudden?"
"It's not sudden. I've been chewing on this for a couple of years," his eyes focused on her expression.
"A couple of years?" Kitty whispered, suddenly scared he could predict the future.
"Yep. Now listen, Honey. If something happens t' me, you know to bury me next to Angela."
"Yes, Matt. I know that," she whispered, crossing her arms in front of her chest, willing away the pang of sadness beginning to invade her heart.
"Then after what would be considered a proper amount of time, I want you to marry again."
Kitty chuckled, "Because there are so many men out there who want a wife and six children. Just ask Millie Scot. Joke's over, Matt. I'm tired and you're gonna give me nightmares," she flopped onto her side.
"I want you to marry Ezra Roseveare if something happens to me," the former marshal firmly stated as if he'd been issuing a direct order. He casually folded his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.
"You want me t' marry Ezra?! Where is this coming from?" she sat up again, her back against the headboard, "Matt, please stop it. This conversation makes me want to have a drink."
"Sorry, you're outta luck there."
"You are NOT funny, Matt Dillon. Not one stinkin' bit," Kitty flopped back onto her side, nearly pulling the covers over her head.
"I know he'd take good care of you and the family. I know he loves you and he already offered to marry you once," he paused for a moment before playfully asking, "So who should I marry if something should happen to you? Susan Bart?"
With the speed of a jack rabbit, Kitty smacked him as hard as she could over and over again with her pillow. Matt's laughter reverberated off the walls, filling the room with warmth.
"Okay, okay! Enough, Honey! I won't marry Susan Bart," he chortled, gently rolling Kitty onto her back. He positioned himself over her, drinking in her natural beauty as she panted from her pillow offensive.
The redhead smiled, caressing his cheek. She braced her hand against the nape of his neck, pulling him closer as if to kiss him. Instead, she stopped short, muttering against his parted lips, "You're gonna be stuck with me forever, Cowboy."
"Forever, huh?"
"Yep."
"Good."
The End
A/N: Thanks so much, Gunsmoke fans! I'm grateful to you for reading and for those who chose to review. You make it worth all the time and effort that goes into creating these stories.
