Chapter 16- Take Me Back

It wasn't all horror and terror and dark days. There were moments of pure happiness, pockets and blips of normalcy and laughter in between the challenges and uncertainties. Rare were these moments way back in the beginning of it all, some may say they never did happen. But certainly, in those next few days and weeks life allowed for all of them to make up for lost time, to allow life to settle as best it could. Despite being in the place they were and residing under the circumstances they found themselves in, life and mild enjoyment was somehow, someway discovered by all. It all hinged on Jay, it all began with him and then trickled down to the others. It was kind of how everything else had worked up until this point, but made sense that things kept going this way.

Perhaps it was the anti-nausea meds he'd been given overnight, or the fact he had some things taken off his chest and he was able to get some pretty legit rest, but he awoke that morning about as normal and relaxed as he'd felt in as long as he could remember. It was pretty obvious it was the powerful cocktail of whatever medication spell he was under, but Jay awoke in the morning in his mind, but really it was afternoon by then, and did a very studious and absorbing scan of the room. He noted the window, which still had the curtain drawn and the lack of a chair next to it, scanning his way to the closed bathroom door and other corners of the room, now taking in the backpacks and other random things that he'd somehow glossed over all those other times. He stopped on that for a moment, his mind returning to his actual things for the first time on the other side of all of this, now wondering where his true belongings were. He was a man without a cell phone, a watch, clothing that he recalls packing and cherishing, and so many other mundane things like a toothbrush, hairbrush—which he somehow hadn't put together wasn't very necessary right about now—and also socks before moving along. His mush brain told himself to make a note about asking about his missing items later in the day. The odds of him remembering to ask were barely above zero, but it was worth the brain wave nonetheless. His eyes began to move, finding the large and light wood paneled sliding door, assuming that was the door to the great unknown that was the hospital hallway. Never in his life did he envision a scenario where he wanted to be out there, wanted to walk up and down the hallway, but then again none of what he was living was something any of them had seen coming. He was very much living a life of firsts here. His eyes then wandered to the couch, to the person resting on the couch, and finding himself smirking a little as he watched her. Her back was turned away from him, but the soft glow of her cell phone cascading over her shoulder told that she was awake but trying to keep quiet for him. He watched her thumb slowly and gingerly swipe across her screen, not being able to see exactly what she was looking at but figuring she was reading something. Reading, another task neither of them in times past had ever really done or had time to do. It wasn't that there wasn't a desire, but more so a lack of time to sit and pleasure themselves in the world penned by an author. She would joke with him in passing that books were for retirement, for lazy days on the beach, and neither scenario was happening any time soon. So Jay was a little glad that through all of this chaos she was able to pick up a new hobby. He hated that he was the root cause of it all and that a plentiful amount of heartbreak and emotional turmoil were nestled in between it all, but he was glad to see her resting and doing her best to relax despite life being the way it was.

As he watched her toes twitch under her small scaled, somewhat thin blanket, the random shivers she'd get from time to time, he couldn't help but feel and fully grasp for the first time that that was his wife. It had somehow not clicked up until that moment, which is understandable given all that had happened, but the weight of that realization flooded his system. As he watched the shivering and twitching of a still body keeping the nerves alive, he couldn't help but be enamored with her. The way her left foot was tucked under her right ankle, how the curvature of her body lying on its side made out a figure and a person that he knew. The wavy hair that was always full of body and life was pulled up into a messy bun, looking stunning despite the fact she'd been laying on it for awhile. That was his person, that was the woman he said yes to not all that long ago, that was his ride or die no matter what. It was a person he knew so incredibly well, both physically and philosophically. This was not some moment of pure epiphany, where all was well and things were back to being in place and they were themselves once more. But it certainly was the first time that things clicked into a well remembered thought. Hailey Upton was his wife and she was somehow still there and still his despite everything. Where things went from there was very much up in the air. Damage of life had taken place, Jay certainly put a wrench into things and honestly he didn't really know what his true feelings were for the whole thing. He did choose to leave and he stood by that, but at the same time he did leave his biggest and dearest companion behind to pick up the pieces of her life and then sort out what the aftermath of it all meant for her. Jay didn't know if the damage was too far to be undone, if they had unknowingly gone too far down this road to backtrack to the life they once had. It was very much a point on a road that Jay was going to forever remember. He didn't know where the road was leading, but he wasn't going to let go of the very real truth that for right now, in this very second in time in this hospital room on whatever day it was, he and Hailey were connected as one. The rest was left to be sorted out.

"I'm up," he found the energy to finally blurt out, the words stumbling out of his mouth before he fully realized his lips were moving. He watched as Hailey whipped her head around, almost snapping her neck before the rest of her body rolled in the direction of his voice.

"Hey," she joyfully but softly greeted, putting the phone down against the back of the couch before slowly sitting up.

"What are you reading," was what he wanted to inquire, but due to his lack of liquid in his mouth for a very long time, coupled with the fact he'd thrown up several times the night before, he got about two words out before beginning to choke on his very dry mouth.

"Here, take a sip of my water," Hailey was extra fast to toss at him. Jay shook his head, but Hailey popped the top off of the large metal bottle, rising to her feet and just about throwing the hole against Jay's lips, doing her best to get liquid into him without waterboarding him.

"I don't want to throw up again," Jay gasped in spurts between gulps, taking things very small and slow and seriously pushing her bottle away. Hailey understood where he was coming from. After the trauma and issues last night no one would be quick to try and digest things again. But still, he needed water and a little wasn't going to kill him.

"I know, but your mouth is too dry for you to be talking. Just a couple more sips," she encouraged. Sure enough, the coughing fit died down before too long, Jay now very much sitting up, yet he was clearing his throat and finding air much better to acquire. He looked around the room before closing his eyes, doing his best to fight off the dizziness from the sudden change in position and calmness.

"Better?" Jay nodded, gently massaging his chest as he slowly opened his eyes again. That was when he felt something warm trickling against his left leg, a sensation that you only need to feel once to understand what was happening. Jay groaned before his eyes went in search of what he knew was waiting for him to discover.

"Do you want to try ice chips? Maybe that'll help ease you into liquids and food again," Hailey spoke, half seeing Jay's reaction and messing of the blankets and figuring it was just him. It wasn't the first time he had weird facial expressions or fears of things happening to him. It was all part of the recovery process, Bradford had reminded them so many times by now. He was going to be feeling and experiencing so much over and over again that it was best to just let it play out. If he needed help, he would ask…or so they hoped.

"Please don't tell me I pissed the bed," Jay replied to Hailey, which was the switch that made her forego the ice chips idea and truly begin to wonder if Jay was alright. This was certainly a first and not at all something she saw them discussing today.

"Well…you still have the catheter in," Hailey slowly rattled off, now assisting Jay in trying to figure out what he was feeling, and also hoping to reassure him that what he was thinking was happening wasn't the case. Without much warning she tossed the blankets off his left leg, pointing to the catheter line that was taped to his leg and snaking down to the side of the bed. Sure enough, I'm disgusted my readers to report, Jay's bladder was emptying itself right about then. Thus the feeling along the leg and the very real feeling that he was wetting himself. Imagine the horror and embarrassment he was feeling knowing that thing was in and he had no clue up until now. Or, perhaps he did know but just like everything else, this was the first time he was grasping what it all meant.

"Why do I have that," he asked, unable to look away from the shocking scene as Hailey put the blankets back where they were.

"Well Jay, what did you expect to have all this time? You haven't been getting up and going to the bathroom."

"Yeah but…why?!" She could only roll her eyes, it was nice to have some form of Jay back with her. Let's not gloss over the fact he was still incredibly drugged and on so many things that he probably wasn't going to sound or feel normal till they got back home. But for right now, this was about as close to Jay Halstead of old that they'd experienced yet. Each day, she hoped, they'd chisel off a little more of the trauma and medicated stage and get back to him. It was going to be an insanely slow and annoying process, but they'd get there before too long.

"How about we go back to the ice chips idea. Do you want them," she turned things back to, hoping that would be the end of the catheter dilemma. It didn't work.

"Hailey, you can't just ignore that and just move on. How long has that been there?"

"Um probably the whole time. Jay, I'm sure it's a pain and I can tell that you very much hate it."

"That's an understatement," he mumbled under his breath, stifling another cough from his still dry mouth and throat. She stopped whatever she was going to say next, closing her eyes and groaning a little bit before hitting the call light on the bed.

"Do you feel like you're ready to get up and use the bathroom when you need to?"

"I…think so?! I could at least try. I just want it out," Jay answered as the day shift nurse stuck her head in the room. It appeared all was well and alarms weren't going off. This was certainly a first for Jay, but a welcomed first to say the least.

"Can we get Bradford in here and maybe some ice chips," Hailey very sweetly asked, getting both requested items in under two minutes. Bradford did his usual thing of just entering the room, not saying much, and observing things before he began the verbal rundown of what was going on right then.

"Ah, ice chips. I see the meds are working," he noted as Jay took one chunk in his hand and plopped it on his tongue.

"We'll see," he spoke over the melting chunk.

"I think he said he's ready for the catheter to come out," Hailey spoke for Jay, watching his nod his head very strongly as Bradford's eyes got very uncharacteristically wide in surprise.

"Really?!" Jay nodded once more.

"Well that's a big step. Are you sure? That means you're going to be getting up a lot more and having to move around. You're sure you're up for it?"

"I'm ready to at least try." Bradford glanced around at things one more time, looking down at whatever was on the iPad that seemed to be the big indicator for everything he did. Before too long, he nodded in agreement of the plan.

"Okay then, let's get it out. Do you want me to do it? Will? The nurse?"

"Can't I just take it out?"

"NO," they all just about yelled and sneered back at Jay, who jokingly threw his hands up in surrender before letting out an 'okay then' as they all shook their heads. Jay Halstead was never going to change; a stubborn soul always trying to take control till the very end.

A few minutes later things were set up and prepped, blankets slowly going down and lines removed from his leg before making sure things were truly ready to be deflated and taken out. Final questions of confidence and instructions on what this all meant for Jay was dished out, the person in question just wanting things to be done and over with. Jay very much winced at the sensation of the line being ever so carefully tugged for better grip, he all but threw the ice chips cup across the room when the balloon was deflated and final reminders to breathe were told, and by the time he felt the line move but a millimeter Hailey's hand was being death squeezed.

"You are such a child," Hailey joked under her breath, rolling her eyes at Jay's deep hatred and what she assumed was put on pain from the whole thing being pulled out.

"Really?! We're going with that now," Jay immediately threw back in her face as the catheter seemed to be in this never ending free fall from his bladder to freedom. It was not the gradual build of zero pain to a ten out of ten pain. It was nothing and then all there at once. The whole thing in the real world took about thirty seconds from balloon deflation to Jay being catheter free, but to Jay was at least a full hour. But alas, when things were just about to crest as bad as it ever was, the immediate relief flooded his system and everything went back to how it all once was. It was a completely embarrassing feat, but Jay Halstead was free to get up and use a real bathroom whenever he pleased. Someone give him a standing ovation.

"So we couldn't do the sedative for that why?" Bradford rolled his eyes as the nurse and toxic waste bag exited the room. Standing up from his leaned over position on the bed, he slowly shook his head before answering back.

"You don't like being sedated for…anything. But for that you would willingly take it?"

"Uh yeah, that was torture."

"What was torture," Will stuck his head through the door with, reentering the scene much too late for Jay and Hailey's liking. He had two bags in hand whilst balancing a drink carrier with his forearms, most likely having been standing outside the door this whole time waiting for someone to open the door for him. Poor guy, but regardless he was back.

"Where have you been," Jay inquired?

"I went to get food and drinks. Nice to see you up by the way," Will fired back. The brotherly banter was never going to die. Not even major brain surgery and serious life changers were going to slow that down. Hailey sighed as she finally unclamped Jay's hand from hers to help take things off of Will's person.

"Jay got his catheter out," she explained in a semi proud, mostly joked congratulatory manner. Will definitely perked up at that one, mouth widening in a shocked state as he looked to Jay who just shrugged.

"Hey man, that's huge! Now you can walk around and take a shower and stuff."

"Well, he could always walk around," Bradford cut in to the room, reminding them he wasn't done with his examining of his patient. Hailey and Will divided up the food between the two of them as Jay went through the rundown of his mental check-ins. All the spots were poked and asked to be moved and felt before the very basic questions were asked and eventually answered. Jay wasn't fully back to being able to rattle things off yet, the biggest issues being days or places. He fully knew who he was and who was in the room with him, beyond that it took him some time, but before too much time passed he was able to spit out the correct answer. It was a sign of where things were, Jay was awake and talking and doing his very best to give off the impression that he was totally fine. But when you really started to get into the details is where it was apparent that all wasn't quite what it seemed. He was doing incredible and greatly improved, but much was still to be healed, relearned, and absorbed. As was the case with everything: time and healing were going to be huge over the coming days and weeks.

"How's the stomach," Bradford finished things off with, his fingertips barely touching on Jay's stiff and bloated stomach as he winced against the pressure.

"It's really sore," he almost gasped back, long blinks coming on as he prayed for the surgeon to stop touching him.

"Sorry, that could be from the lack of food, or that you've had a little bit of water and the ice chips. I can give you another round of the Phenergan to help settle things. We've got you in a good place and I don't want to set you back."

"So another shot?" Bradford nodded.

"Yeah, it's the best way to administer it. But, since you are catheter free do you finally want to shower?" That one totally erased any kind of dread over getting another shot.

"I can take a shower?" Bradford nodded.

"Yeah, it's been long enough."

"Honestly I can't even remember the last time I bathed."

"Yeah, well I can," Bradford responded, texting that he was in need of assistance getting Jay prepped for taking a shower, at last.

"Oh," Hailey butt into things, there might've been a bite of two of food in her mouth. It was a muffled response, but a question still.

"Yeah, he took a shower right before this whole thing happened. We had some time before the mission started and so he took a shower. It was after that that Jay came out and asked for Advil for a headache. Last thing we talked about."

"I…I don't think that's true. I don't remember any of that," Jay slowly replied back, seeming to be getting lost in a daydream fog that was trying to remember much of anything. It was a pointless quest, it was never going to come to him. That day might as well have been erased from his whole person forever. And for a very long time, it would be.

"Trust me, Jay. It's very much true. It's probably not something I'm ever going to forget."

"Oh," was Jay's last line for awhile as assistance came into the room just then, both completing the task of prepping him for a shower and revealing to him for the first time just how bad off he was. It seemed silly to those not in the medical field, so basically Jay and Hailey, that none of Jay's IVs or lines could get wet. That was a completely perplexing things. How water could ruin and IV line was beyond them. None of them seemed to ask why this was an issue, but certainly both were wondering it. But for the next few minutes Jay quietly sat and looked down and around him as line after line, sensor after sensor, and then questioned drugs were both removed and secured to free Jay while also allowing him access to getting out of bed. There were a couple drugs that Jay still needed to be on, mostly the blood thinner and a few neuro drugs that he needed 24/7, were discussed on where to go before it was settled that someone would help drag the IV stand into the bathroom with him and make sure it was safe and that the shower was super quick. The came the taks of covering all the IV ports, Jay now mostly plastic wrap and tape more than anything else. As Jay sat there and watched, that was when the weight of things really got serious and real to him, that while he slept and fought for things all of this was on him, in him, truly keeping him alive in a sense. As the sides of the bed were lowered and people started inching closer to him to help him get out of bed and clear the path for the bathroom, he could only imagine how much worse this all was way back at the very beginning. Today was a day of many firsts, this day being the first time he really got that whatever happened was incredibly legitimate and really did almost kill him. He felt awful for putting everyone through the trauma of having to watch him struggle, but simultaneously was immensely grateful to still be alive and here.

"You ready," Will asked as the final push to get Jay on his feet was about to happen, that snapping Jay out of his mind spiral and back into what was about to happen. For the first time in weeks he was getting to wash many things off of him. That was something to be super excited about. Jay nodded, keeping his visions dead center on the floor and making sure he didn't collapse into a heap or bang his head on anything. He did not fall, but was so incredibly dizzy and weak that thankfully Will was right there to be his resting post.

"Just breathe through it, don't you dare open your eyes till you're ready," Will encouraged in the best big brother way that he could. It took everything in him to not start sobbing as he felt Jay's head very weakly shake and nod against his shoulder. He truly was struggling with such a small change that was getting up and out of bed. How the hell he sat in a chair under his own power not too long ago was beyond all of them. Just as every second of this whole thing was reminding them, Jay was incredibly different right now. He was never going to be what he once was, in a sense. But right now he really wasn't himself. All were incredibly grateful to be where they were, but were also hoping a good kind of change and strength was found, soon.

"Ready," Jay whispered into Will's shoulder just before he used up all energy to push himself off of his spot and beeline it for the bathroom. Will and Hailey each took a side, the incredibly slow march to the bathroom was had, Bradford just behind with the IV stand in tow while a nurse went ahead of all of them and made sure the lighting in the bathroom was well lit enough for all to see, but not so bad that it sent Jay's eyes into an immediate migraine. Many, many pauses were had in the very short trip to the bathroom, the most they'd make it between things being held up was two steps. A couple times Jay joked that he'd changed his mind and wanted to go back, but still they made it to the bathroom doorway before the sun set. Okay, it was really only seven minutes at the most, but you get the imagery.

The bathroom looked like any other bathroom. The toilet was to the right of the room, wide enough to fit a wheelchair and an assistant in the corner. The whole room was rather large, flat, nothing to write home about. In the middle was your standard sink with a mirror that Jay dared to not look into. He was doing okay as is, he did not need the visual introduction to just how bad and drastically different he looked since he last saw himself.

"I don't want to look," he mumbled as his eyes took the very normal and bland room in front of him. Hailey nodded as she patted his back. She totally got it, could not imagine getting such a brunt look at herself in that state, much less with an audience to witness the moment.

"Hey, you don't have to. Whenever you're ready," Will encouraged as Jay found his resting place, seeming to be picking up his feet and stepping over the threshold of that space. Jay Halstead was entering a new place under his own power for the first time since the accident. Someone shed a tear or two. It wasn't some great backdrop or something anyone documented, merely a mundane hospital bathroom. But still, it was a big step in the overall goal of getting out of here and back to real life.

"Slowly go down," Will instructed as everyone got close to the bench in the walk-in shower, helping Jay turn around and back up before helping him land on the cold surface. He flinched at the temperature change, but was very, very happy to be sitting as they all figured out what was going to happen next.

"Okay, you don't need a whole group of us in here and plus there isn't enough room," Bradford explained, making sure to park the IV stand in a safe spot before locking the wheels.

"That and I don't want an audience," Jay joked, a little breathless from the exhaustion that whole trek took.

"Exactly. Usually one person is enough. So who do want it to be?"

"Will," Jay responded without a ton of thought or delay, settling that issue quickly.

"I'm going to try and not be offended," Hailey teased.

"Hey, Will knows what he's doing and plus.."

"-I get it. It's a guy thing," she joked back, taking a step away from Jay and getting back into the bathroom now.

"How bout I get some real clothes out for you while you shower?"

"I can wear normal clothes now?"

"Yeah, it was only the catheter that was preventing that from happening."

"Well if you had told me that earlier I would've done that days ago." "We did," they all spoke in unison, which is when the now very well known Jay Halstead line of the whole thing was spoken for the first time.

"Sorry! Surgery must've yanked that one out of there." It was such a horrid line, but its all the mush mind could come up with. A laugh or two was had, promises to not take too long were secured, and before too long it was the two Halstead brothers alone in the shower to battle the task of showering Jay without making him freak out or ruing the many sections of taped up areas on his person. Bradford promised to be back with the anti-nausea medication when they were ready for him. Hailey went to dig through a bag she packed weeks ago and come up with some kind of clothing that would meet the limitation needs Jay still had but also keep him fully clothed.

"I feel like there's very little to clean," Jay did his best to distract the situation from as Will pulled the gown completely off, making sure the water was warm and not at full power before gently running things along Jay's person.

"Well, a lot has happened since you last had one of these," he joked as Jay winced and adjusted to water hitting him. The sound of water hitting plastic and body filled the space for the next few seconds, Will fully remembering what happened the last time that tried to touch Jay's head and doing his best to barely sprinkle the area.

"You doing okay," he asked after a couple passes of the shower head?

"Yeah, just getting super tired."

"Sorry, I'll make it quick."

"Do you think I could walk around the hallway after this?"

"Jay, you just said you were getting tired. If you're tired you're going to rest. You cannot super push yourself right now."

"Yeah but, after laying down for a little bit then can we try walking around?" Will just rolled his eyes, making sure to lather things where he could before running the water back over Jay.

"We'll see. Baby steps, remember?!"

"Yeah, yeah," Jay acknowledged, that being the final thing he spoke for a little bit of time. Instead all Will got back were yawns, blank stares, it was very evident that Jay, or whatever he was on, was very much draining life and energy out of him. Despite his best efforts, Jay was very much in a weakened state and no amount of humor or attempts at keeping up with a conversation were going to change that. The remainder of the shower was the most uneventful thing ever, followed by Hailey swooping in to save the day not too long after and assisting in getting Jay dressed. Time truly was of the essence and they had to get Jay back in bed before he fully passed out on the them. The motherboard that was Jay's brain was truly trying to shut down and settle before attempting another reboot. Many more rounds of helping Jay walk and really shaking him to keep him awake happened, but he did make it to the bed. If he was more aware of things he'd realize that he kept blacking out on the trip back to bed. It wasn't more than microseconds, but he really was drifting and fighting there to not completely collapse into a deep sleep on the floor. He didn't have the energy to talk anymore, much less thank anyone for giving him the gift of movement or a sense of cleanliness. The walk to the bathroom and the warmth of the shower completely took everything out of him. Jay was long gone by the time Bradford got back into the room with the shot, which honestly was just compounding on the deep sleep Jay was already under. Will joked that Jay wanted to walk around later in the day when nightfall did actually arrive. Jay had been out for hours at that point and hadn't budged since he graceful fell onto the bed. It was crazy to think the guy went running the morning of his accident, because Jay walking felt to be some overly lofty goal right about then. Baby steps, quite literally, were all they could ask for. Jay was making progress, but my goodness was it hard to witness and imagine it would improve in any short amount of time. But he was doing it, he was improving, and best of all: he was catheter free.

Walking around the hallway did not happen that day, clearly. Nor did it happen the following day. It appeared Jay's little trip to the shower was going to be the big milestone for awhile. Apart from getting up to use the bathroom, which was still a bit of an undertaking and required too many people for Jay's liking, there wasn't much movement happening in that room. Jay slept quite a lot, talked between dozing off, occasionally asking to look outside and was allowed a few glances at the world before deciding the tantalizing nature of the outdoors was too much for him to bear. Yesterday he did manage to make a couple laps around his room, which was perhaps both the most rewarding thing to witness and the funniest at the same time. It was all giggles and eye rolls as everyone hovered over him as he rolled himself from the edge of the bed to the floor and waited to make sure he wasn't on the brink of death. Even after standing and taking a couple steps the questions of dizziness, feeling lightheaded, sharp pains, and so forth were dished out in a rapid fire fashion. Jay was still not fully comprehending why this was all such a big deal, it was probably a severity and depth of understanding that he'd never achieve. He could have grand ideas or random bouts of emotions over what happened to him, but he was never going to fully picture just how close he got to not being alive anymore on so many levels and occasions. Blame the surgeries and deep coma on that one.

But he did incredibly well walking around the room. He managed to go from bathroom door to bedroom door and then passing the bed several laps before those inquiring minds and hands swooped in to save him. While Jay thought he was walking straight and steady, he was seriously leaning to the left and mumbling absolute gibberish. Fearing he was having a stroke, they immediately shoved him back on to the edge of the bed where for the next few minutes lights and presses and concerned faces filled his peripheral. He did his best to sway them into thinking he was fine, but the heart monitor and sluggish pupil reaction told the tale, Jay had successfully overexerted himself and the brain had had enough. Luckily all this newfound movement and stimuli during the daytime hours kept him remarkably asleep at night. Aside from the nightly check-ins where he had to get up, Jay was sleeping through quite a lot. When the IV bags needed to be changed, or things just needed to be observed, he slept. They all slept actually. It was the break they all truly needed and it was pleasant to wake up each morning somewhat refreshed and alert. It was never going to be as good as it would be when they got out of there and back home, but it was a significant improvement from where things once were.

"I'm up," Jay groveled into the morning, it was his new habit of sorts. No one really knew if it was all in jest, a joke that he did just best to start the day with. Perhaps it was a way for Jay to alert himself that he was up, state facts in an effort to better understand them. His little tradition was only three days young, but still it was something Will and Hailey looked forward to when the sun rose. They were always up before him, as it appeared his hatred for the morning survived the accident and surgeries. If anything the late risings had gotten worse. But still, they were always happy to hear him speak up, even if it was late morning every time.

"Hey, how was the sleep," Will asked? Jay took a few seconds to look around the room, take it all in before shrugging his shoulders. He was still in this horrid place. He was still a hospital patient. Part of him thought he'd wake up one day and be in a normal bed, perhaps his own bed back at his place. Or was it his place? So many things to sort out. But it was the growling stomach that returned him back to current things.

"Well someone's hungry," Hailey teased. Jay nodded, outstretching his arms and doing his best to sit up in bed in an effort to fully wake himself up. It would be so easy to fall back to sleep, but he knew that wasn't going to help much. He had to keep working on convincing people he was ready to get out of here, even if he didn't fully believe it. Just fake it till you made it, back home that is.

"What do you feel like having," Will asked as he rose from his seat. Being the designated food guy, he figured it was time to get moving. And yes, Jay had graduated to food. It had to be soft and in small portions, but he was finally able to eat food and keep it down. Baby steps here, but positive steps indeed.

"Eggs maybe?"

"Like scrambled?"

"Is there any other way to have them?"

"Well…yeah," Will joked. Jay nodded, allowing a yawn to escape him before speaking up.

"Scrambled is fine."

"Anything else? Juice, toast?"

"Yeah, but a lot of butter on the toast."

"What about coffee," Hailey interjected, realizing it had been weeks since Jay had had any of the stuff. What was once the only thing that could get him out of bed in the morning and through a long day at the office he seemed to have quit cold turkey. She couldn't imagine and was a little surprised he hadn't asked for it yet.

"Can he have coffee," she asked when Will pondered that for a few seconds, Jay perking up at the idea of trying a new drink. Prior to all of this it had been water and ice chips and the occasional ginger ale. He was ready for a new flavor, even if he wound up hating it.

"I think it should be okay. As long as its not that death coffee or whatever the adrenaline junkies are throwing around out there, I think a little bit wouldn't hurt and plus, our coffee is some weak ass crap."

"I kind of remember that," Jay teased.

"Look at you remembering things!"

"Yeah, here and there. Random crap comes back and then leaves." It was soon settled on that Will could bring back the requested items, leaving Jay and Hailey to sit alone and in silence. Something that was incredibly rare and awkward at any point for them. Hailey busied herself with cleaning up the couch, folding her blankets before tossing the pillow to the left of the couch on the floor. She figured it was one of the more disgusting places to leave a pillow, but there really wasn't any other spot. While this room was bigger than the ICU room, between what Jay was still on and all the bags they brought with them, little was the space for things. All the bags were tucked away in a closet big enough for Barbie shoes, and the floor area needed to be utilized for Jay to walk around and all the medical people as well. So it was the floor or somewhere in the bathroom, and now having to share a bathroom with two guys that was never going to happen.

"Hey," Jay interrupted the silence, Hailey somewhat grateful one of them finally caved. Silence was just never their thing and she really hated the feeling of having to tiptoe around things.

"What's up," she said, turning around to see Jay fully upright away off the pillows, looking in the direction of the bathroom and seeming to be searching for what to say next.

"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" Jay looked at her funny for a couple seconds, just before she got concerned he shook his head and spit out what he really wanted.

"Can I brush my teeth? I don't think I did last night." He had in fact brushed his teeth the previous night, and a few other times yesterday as well. Hailey at first would remind him that he had in fact, but Bradford said to hold off on the corrections. It was just teeth brushing and Jay was trying. If it got too repetitive, than they could step in and offer guidance.

"Oh, do you want to before drinking juice? Remember how that's like the worst taste in the world?"

"Will won't be back right away and my mouth tastes weird." Hailey sighed, looking from the bed to the bathroom and trying to figure out how she was going to do this all by herself. Jay, despite his very limited capacity, seemed to be able to read her racing mind, seeing that she was trying to calculate the world in that head of hers.

"I can just brush them here. I don't need to get up for that."

"Oh yeah, I hadn't even thought of that," she joked, doing her best to move along with things, finishing her bed cleaning task before heading to the bathroom. As she was running water on Jay's toothbrush whilst undoing the top to the toothpaste, she decided to join him in the teeth brushing task. It had been forever since they did anything together, even if it was as silly as brushing one's teeth.

"Here's yours," she spoke up as she made sure to turn the bathroom light off, allow the door to close behind her before handing things off to Jay.

"Whose the other one for," he asked?

"Me you dingus," she teased, Jay blushing and allowing it all to kick in before the two of them were sitting in silence as they swirled and scrubbed their teeth into a much cleaner state. Jay's movements were much slower than hers, quite obvious that one side was harder for him to maneuver than the other, not to mention the couple of times he bumped the back of his throat. But he did it, and was making some serious hand movements and relearning muscles to do their thing. The damage of what happened was very much prevalent and hovering over all of them as a potentially permanent thing. But if wonky teeth brushing was going to be the worst thing to come out of all of this, they'd learn to live with it.

"What do you want to do today," she spoke once Jay had spit his toothpaste remnants into one of those pink vomit trays before Hailey carted it off to the sink for rinsing out. Jay wiped around his mouth with his thumb and index before rubbing things on the blanket.

"Can we leave today?" Hailey snickered at that one. It was always his first answer. Every single time she asked.

"No, that's definitely not on the agenda for today."

"When is it going to be on the agenda for today?"

"I don't know. Ask Bradford or Will about that one." Jay nodded. Just like he always asked her that question, he never remembered to ask Bradford later on.

"So for real, what do you want to do today? We could sit you in a wheelchair at least and give you a tour around the floor, let you see where you've been cooped up all this time."

"Or I could walk around?"

"Jay…" she trailed off with, sighing as she walked back to the couch.

"What? I walked around yesterday."

"Yeah, and nearly scared us all to death and just about passed out. Maybe we take a little break from that today? We can always do it tomorrow." Jay was perhaps the most adamant about walking around today, very much shaking his head and just waiting for her to stop talking so he could butt in.

"That was yesterday. I want to do that today. Hailey, if I can't walk around then I'm never going to get out of here. I have to get out of here." Hailey sighed, throwing her head back in frustration before looking to the door and praying for Will to get in the room. Any kind of change these days was enough to distract Jay from whatever he was doing before. Alas, the door wasn't opening.

"Jay, let's just eat some food and maybe get changed? Then we'll see about walking around later on. Does sound like a good plan."

"Yeah fine," Jay eventually mumbled back to her, finding the square, waffle-like design of the blankets extra fascinating. He was pissed, and she got it. He may not be ready to get fully back to life, but he genuinely hated being in this place, in this room, and being the epicenter of it all. Worst of all that he didn't have much power or say in the matter.

"Is there anything else you want to talk about," she hinted. If she was being honest with herself, this didn't feel like the time to break down into things. But since they were alone and Jay was in a talkative mood she felt the need to at least offer him the moment.

"No," he quietly muttered, still not looking up from the blankets. Hailey quietly exhaled. It was another day, another holdout and anticipation for what was to come. But part of her was relieved he said no.

"Jay," she spoke, enough in a way that asked him to look at her, her gaze not losing him till he felt the invisible force field pushing his head up and looking at her.

"I love you. And I'm really proud of you. You will get out of here, I promise." Jay just shrugged, looking back down to the blankets as his stomach growled in anger for not being fed.

"Jay, you can say it and it won't change anything. I get it, we have a lot to sort out. Shit happened, but it's not a sign of defeat if you say it."

"It's not that, Hailey." His voice almost shaking and so still and serious that it took Hailey almost asking him to repeat it again for clarification, but it was the gradual glance over at her that told her things. He wasn't ready, and most likely he wasn't sure if it was true.

"Jay, I don't know what our future looks like, but I'm not giving up on you. Whatever capacity that is, I'm not giving up. I know you asked that of me not too long ago and I can promise you that that's never going to happen. One step at a time, we'll get through this."

"Thank you," was all he could come up with, and my goodness Hailey couldn't help but feel the presence of the real Jay, the Jay of old, with her right then. She was absolutely gutted that it was surrounding this topic. Will did have the worst timing ever, his landing on the door handle and truly struggling to slide things open ceased any kind of talk between the two of them and got Jay completely off of whatever he was mulling over. Will greeted the tense and quiet room with his very out of place smile and happiness, handing things off to Jay and asking what they did all that time. Hailey alerted Will of the teeth brushing task and Will was too delighted and putting all of his stuff down to see that Jay had popped the lid off the coffee cup and was gulping things down. Well, in reality he took a couple sips before his body actively and completely rejected the brown nectar.

"Ugh, that is awful," Jay spoke as he immediately put his cup on the tray where the rest of the meal was housed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as Will was shocked.

"What do you mean? I thought you took it black."

"He does," Hailey said as Jay grabbed for the juice cup and downed several sips of that to erase the coffee flavor lingering in his mouth.

"It's so…bad. Bitter?!" Will chuckled, Hailey not fully getting what was going on.

"Look at you with a new word. And you did use it right."

"Don't get me anymore of that," Jay remarked as he shivered at the thought of drinking anymore coffee for the remainder of his days.

"So should we get rid of the really nice coffee maker at the apartment?"

"I will gladly take it," Will joked. Jay just shook his head, went about forking his eggs and making sure he put something in his system to make his stomach stop complaining. So they were up to weird teeth brushing and now a deep hatred for coffee. Life certainly wasn't going to be what it once was. But again, they would learn to manage.

Breakfast came and went, the changing of the clothes ordeal happened without too many issues or hold ups, all gearing Jay up for a very lengthy morning nap. He slept for at least a couple hours, according to everyone's calculations, providing Will and Hailey a chance to get their day going. The two switched off in the bathroom, conducting their daily routine before handing things off to the next person. After that it was all about strategizing and figuring out next steps for Jay. After the prior day's minor setback, things had to be reworked or pondered once more. The transition from Jay being too out of it to care what happened, to now all he wanted was to over exert himself in order to leave was a difficult thing to manage. Granted, they all were overly elated that he was doing so well and showing real signs of wanting to get out of the hospital, but there was always a fear of the unknown. Despite it being a little over a week since his most recent surgery and all scans and check-ins showing Jay was progressing and healing incredibly well, they did not want to rock that boat, didn't want to make him challenge things too quickly, too soon, and too hard. There was always going to be that lingering feeling that chaos and permanent endings were right around the corner. Everyone involved in Jay's care sensed that about each other, and figured that was part of the reason they were being extra cautious. No one was ever going to forget all that they went through that day, and the immediate days thereafter. No one was ever going to forget the images and emotions and very heavy realness of how tantalizing close Jay got to exiting out of life forever. It would be six months, a year, a decade later and they'd all be asking him to go easy on himself, to perhaps not push things too far. Weirdly enough, despite his very limited mental capacity, Jay too figured out that's what was going on with everyone; how they were always worried over him and asking way too many questions about his mind and how he was feeling every second of everyday. He wished they'd have some meeting of the minds, a true hashing out over what Jay knew and understood and they could explain why they were feeling the way they all were. At some point it would happen, or some form of a serious breakthrough would take place. It was why Jay appeared to be more onboard with how they were treating him, how he was so willing to go along with sitting around all day sleeping and letting things work.

He was a bit of a mastermind, even after several life threatening brain surgeries and surviving a mega-deep coma for over a week. Because he'd figured out the game very quickly: show that you were doing better and being a willing participant and perhaps they'd spring you out of the hospital before too long. As long as he was showing them over and over again that he was okay, or moving in a way that showed he was getting and feeling better, then they'd be more onboard with him going home. Because you can only heal so much in such a controlled and confined space that was a hospital room. He stood true by the belief that real healing happened at home, out in the real world. Yes, his newfound life and all its incoming limitations were going to make themselves known before too long, but they could not shield him from the world forever. Hospital stays were only for making sure you weren't on the brink of death or needing some kind of surgical intervention. Otherwise, he never saw a point in hanging around and doing nothing all day while machines and drugs were pumped into you all day. Even now, things were not adding up. But again, he knew demanding to be released right away would only push his exit that much further down the line. He was playing the game, the long game. One day he'd get out of there, even if it meant going home and sitting inside for awhile. He needed to rid his sinuses and nasal passages of the scent of rubbing alcohol and sterilized equipment. He couldn't take the nagging, bruising pain of IVs in his arms for much longer. And let's not even get started on the hospital attire situation. He wanted to feel his own bedding under, around, on him. He wanted to be able to get up and gather his own food and sit on his own furniture and watch TV. He needed easy access to a sidewalk, the world, feeling the seasons that were flying by outside his window. He just wanted to blend in with life once more, being someone that didn't elicit so much damn attention all the time. He knew that phase of things was going to linger the longest. But at the bare minimum, he wanted out of this horrid hospital. That was his life mission and he was going to succeed before too long. The life saving place was killing him inside with every passing day.

"Hey," he spoke up just past the 1pm hour, looking around the room to see Will curled up at corner of the couch, Hailey on the other end but sprawled out so that her head was against the arm of the couch, her feet centimeters from brushing against Will's leg and arm. The two of them looked over at him in unison, both putting their phones down and calmly lighting up as he worked to roll to his side. Jay being able to rest on his side was such a big milestone. Even if it was only for a few minutes before the still healing skull flaps cried out in pain, it was amazing for Jay to be able to rest in a new position.

"Can I go walk around the hallway?"

"Well…" Hailey trailed off, looking to Will as the bearer of bad news. She knew after Jay's near passing out state in the hospital room, no way was he getting cleared to walk the hallways. She didn't have it in her to tell Jay that, so insert dear Will.

"I mean, Jay…you do remember yesterday," Will slowly rolled out, trying to help Jay connect the dots and see where his appreciated idea wasn't the best for today. Jay was fully aware of what they were trying to do, but this felt like one of those times in the game where he could really push things. His determination was going to win this battle. He was going to get out of this room if it was the only thing he did. It was either going to be with their help or he'd attempt crawling along the floor on his own. Whatever mode of transportation it wound up being, he was seeing a new part of this hospital today.

"I can do it," he reassured them, now trying to rest on his forearm and elbow to help ease his way into a sitting up position. As he spoke his whole world went incredibly fuzzy and blurry, but he was not about to slow down. God, he was dying for the day movement didn't cause this much issue in his life.

"I'm sure you can," Will reassured as Hailey got up from the couch and worked her way to Jay's side. A valiant effort to mask things, but they all could plainly see when the dizzy spells and vision issues kicked into gear. It was the minuscule wiggle in his energy and rapid fire blinking that gave it away every time.

"Will, I can do it. Come on. I'm not asking to walk all the way outside, just down the hall once. That's it."

"Jay, you just about passed out yesterday, in here. You need to take it easy today. We can always do tomorrow." Jay just shook his head, his vision finally back enough to where he could sit up, feet swinging off the edge of the bed and allowing himself to just glare at his brother. There was yet another glimpse of the Jay of old. Old Jay was probably never coming back to them, but man those quick remembrances were what they fought all this time and effort for.

"Will, I can do it. And I swear, you guys can help and everything and I will let you know the second I start to feel anything. But I can't sit in here another day. I need to see something else." Will sighed, looking at his phone for the time of day or some reason to say no. But as he felt the laser beam getting buried deeper and deeper into his skull from Jay's glare, he knew there was no winning this one. That if he didn't help, they'd be in a way worse spot with Jay getting himself hurt or worse.

"When is the next check-in," Hailey asked, sitting next to Jay and joining him in the feet swinging game. Will groaned, threw his head back in defeat before answering.

"Like thirty minutes. But Jay…anything."

"I swear," he quickly spoke up.

"Just really quick. We can be back before anyone notices."

"Jay, everyone is going to notice. You have way too much going on for this all to be hidden."

"And let's not forget that people are checking on you and wandering the halls all the time."

"Well good thing I'll have you two there to help."

"And explain how you're getting out of bed," Will teased. They all chuckled, perhaps all showing signs of laughter and happiness together for the first time in forever. Will was the first to get up and begin moving things. As he was the medical person and the one that was going to have to lead this whole thing, he was best suited to know what IVs would need to be hooked onto the one mobile IV cart and what monitors needed to stay on Jay for this whole trek up and down the hallway. It took a few minutes and he and Hailey figuring out how they were actually going to do all of this, before eventually a small heart monitor screen was hooked on to the IV cart, things pushed to the end of the bed and lines extended so that Jay could stand up on his own.

"Slowly, slowly Jay," Will hovered as Jay pushed himself off the edge of the bed, balking a little at having to bear weight on his legs, everything shaking out of great muscle weakness. Jay could only nod at this point, refusing to confess that he was mildly freaked out and nervous over actually doing his crazy idea. Hailey grabbed his right elbow and kept a hand on his back, Will having the task of both holding Jay's left side up and guiding the IV cart. They stood there, death gripping Jay's shaking and stiff upper body for a few minutes, no one daring to move till he gave the go ahead that he was ready to take the next step, literally.

"You got it," Hailey encouraged as Jay took a step. He was to the stage of walking where he'd take a step, stop, and then drag his other foot to meet his feet back together. Eventually he'd relearn how to take full strides, but for now his half stepping was working for him. It was very much a dance, a slow and methodical waltz from the bed to the door, but it took everything in Jay to not spring himself forward and lunge at things. He was so close to it now, to a whole new world that he was started shaking again, but this time out of excitement.

"You doing okay," Will nervously asked as Hailey reach to pull the sliding door open. Jay's heart rate was tracking upward that had Will on edge about getting out into the hall. Jay was incredibly adamant about keeping things moving.

"Yeah, I feel fine," he did his best to reassure, eyes locked on the door that was opening just in front of him. What greeted him on the other side was a serious change in lighting, the afternoon sunlight that was feeding in from the floor to ceiling window just to his left was so bright, radiant, stunning that it made him squint hard at first, almost trying to keep him back for half a second. But he was this close now and no way in hell was he turning back. He allowed himself a second or two to adjust before taking that long awaited step out into a whole new airspace. At last, after weeks of being stuck in a hospital room, Jay Halstead was under his own power walking along a hospital hallway.

To most people it was the most mundane and average hospital hallway. There were no extra cheerful wall colors, nor was there music or delightful visions of life and good happenings out in that hallway. Jay's room was way in the back of the neuro ICU floor, an offshoot of the main throughway and tucked very quietly away from the speakers and noises coming off the main hospital highways and inter-workings. You had to know where it was and be willing to hike a little ways before you got to where he'd been cooped up all this time. It was fully designed for him to be there, skirting the outer rim of the hospital where it was quiet and calmer and not too many people would be gawking or come looking for him. It was exactly what his condition required. Granted, it was a risky call, in the event he needed some dire help it was going to take a few extra minutes to get to where he needed to be, but overall it was the level of life that he was going do to best on, and as the three of them made it out into the hallway they were grateful to be where they were. No one was out there to see Jay's jaw drop at the sight of other doors, the hallway railing that outlined each side of the walkways, and best of all the light from daylight on the other side of the massive paneling of glass. Furthermore, no one had caught them in the act of sneaking him out into the hallway without getting the official approval for him to be mobile. Will knew that worst case, they'd be happy to see Jay so willing to be getting up and moving around. But still, the lack of life and happenings right in this area was welcomed for all right then.

"You still doing okay," Will quietly asked as he took the lead, pushing the IV cart out first before dragging everyone else with him.

"Yeah," Jay mumbled under his breath, too enamored with all the new things he was seeing and just being flooded with so many senses all at once. It was difficult, if he was being totally honest. That feeling of being limited and trying to understand all that was going on, yet there was this invisible thing that was blocking him from processing and adjusting, was really strong just then. He grunted a little, shook his head a couple times out of frustration. He was not about to give up. But if this was what life was going to be like forever. My goodness was it going to properly and fully suck.

"Okay, let's just do to the window and back? I think that would be good for today." Hailey nodded, gently patting Jay's back as the parade of three kept slowly, but surely moving in the direction of the very blinding daylight. Jay hesitated for just a moment, making sure he was not going too far into new things, that he truly was ready for all of this. There was a very small part of him that wanted to turn around and collapse in bed, but he knew that was only a temporary thing. He had to move. He could not stay here forever. Once he made it to that window and back, then walking out the front door of this place was going to be a breeze.

"Let's do it," he thought aloud, more so telling himself that and willing it to be true than agreeing with Will. He felt the grip from each of his guides tighten on his elbows and their hands on his back get that much heavier. They all knew, deep down, that this was a lot for Jay to take in, that his brain was trying but was operating at a much slower rate than it ever had in its life. But despite the fears and trepidation, they knew this was a needed and cautiously approved step in the healing process. And so for them to put aside their fears and desires to hold them back, Jay would be forever grateful for their willingness to allow him these chances to improve.

"How's the head? Any headaches or sharp pains," Will hovered with as they passed Jay's hospital neighbor's door.

"No," Jay quietly replied back, looking to his left and right, glancing at the names, or lack thereof, alongside the doors. He felt a little lonely, in a sense, feeling like he was the only one here suffering with neurological setbacks. But then there was part of him that was okay with it all. At least others weren't as bad off as he was, and he didn't wish this scenario on anyone. Again, he's processing a lot and feeling many things all at once. Someone give him a round of applause for even being where he was.

"You're doing great," Hailey praised as they passed another set of doors and were inching closer and closer to the end of the hallway. Luckily, Jay's little hallway wasn't as long as the main ones, with him only having three rows of doors to pass before he reached the end. Will had it mapped out in his mind that this was about the same distance as Jay had attempted the previous day, but instead of doing laps in the room he was going one direction before heading right back. The progress was that of snail pace, Jay still only taking those half steps, meeting his feet together, and then starting all over again; Will and Hailey finding themselves in the same walking process as Jay. With every step Jay had to fight off the tiredness all over him, truly shocked at how weak and out of energy he was. He could vaguely recall a time way back in his past when walking, not to mention running, was such a second nature thing that he never thought about it. How a clogged up brain did this much damage to his whole muscular system was beyond his understanding, but it really was the first time that it clicked. Things really did happen to him. Something awful and near death caused all of this to be his newfound reality. There had to be a way through all of this, but right now it felt like this was the crest. This was as best as he was going to get. And quite frankly that pissed him off to no end. He had to get better, stronger, more human-like. There just wasn't another alternative.

But before all hope was lost, they were at the end of the hallway, taking in the sights that the world on the other side of the glass was offering. As Jay stood in place, nearing tearing up at the world in front of him, he was further solidified in the message relayed to him over a week ago. He was back in the Chicago, he was back in his hometown. The lake sprawling out in the front of him, that specific Lake Michigan blue was nothing one could mimic or alter. The trees dancing near the shoreline, their near florescent oranges and reds and yellows displaying their fall splendor further telling the tale of things being very much real. He saw the grey concrete walkway outlining the lake, the cars racing up and down Lake Shore Drive, how there was busyness and serene all operating at the same time in one snapshot. He could almost smell the scent of fall, feel the crisp, cooling nature of impending colder weather blowing in off the lake. It was all coming back to him, suddenly those senses of belonging and longing to be out there almost swallowing him whole.

"Okay, sit down," Will interrupted the taking in of things, throwing Jay very much off his mental soak in. He felt Will pushing his weight against Jay's shoulder as he soon felt something hard hit his ass and hold it in place. Hailey was right there with him, rubbing his back and she seemed to be soothing him back to being calm.

"What…what…Will," Jay muttered, now taking on gasped breaths. None of this was making sense. He was fine and he was seeing things, very concrete and real things. Nothing was adding up.

"You just blacked out for a couple seconds. It's okay. Just keep breathing."

"No…I'm fine," Jay protested, Will just shook his head as he kept his eyes locked on the heart monitor.

"You leaned a little too far over and your heart rate dropped all of the sudden. It's okay, Jay. Just breathe. We'll take all the time you need."

"I didn't black out."

"Jay, you did," Hailey softly spoke, still rubbing circles on his back as they all waited for things to level out.

"No, I saw outside. I saw what was out there. I didn't close my eyes," Jay was so sure about it, his mind really messing with him now. He did see stuff, he was feeling things. That couldn't have been fake.

"Jay, don't worry about it. You're fine now. We'll head back to the room when you're ready."

"Will, don't make me stay here longer than I need to."

"Jay, I'm not pushing you to do anything. It's all on your timing." Jay just shook his head, silence filling the space for the next few moments as Jay breathed and his stats started tracking back to steady numbers. Will didn't get it, was lost on what he was really trying to say. He did not want people seeing him in this state, he didn't want to have this happening. Perhaps he was even fooling himself, trying to make himself think he was a lot better off than he really was and that was his body answering back. He wanted out of here so bad. That world that he knows is just on the other side of the glass is very tangible and very much right there. So to be struggling so much and to be so close, yet seeming to be falling deeper into the hole and thought of never getting out of here truly making this whole event that much more real. Jay Halstead in that moment felt like he was never escaping this hell that was life right now.

"Can we go back now," he eventually spoke up with, seeming to be signaling defeat on everything.

"You sure? We can stay here longer."

"No, let's just go back," he sighed with, allowing Will and Hailey to help him up. Briefly, he turned to look back out the window, once again confirming what he swore he saw just minutes ago. Fall in Chicago was happening out there, right now, and it was so blatantly obvious. He was not making that up. What he saw was very much true and legit in his mind. There was just no way it was all saved images in his mind to help trick him into not realizing he was blacking out. It just didn't make sense. The procession of people and IV cart started the journey back, getting about halfway when Jay did a quick glance around to make sure one more time, because Lord only knew when he'd get a chance to see it again, that Chicago was back there and waiting for him to return. It was, in every sense of the idea.

"What are you guys doing in the hallway," a voice beckoned to them, ceasing all thoughts of going back to the window and staying awhile longer. Jay swung back from the window to the voice that called to them, rolling his eyes at Bradford leaning against his doorway and smirking in what appeared to be smug victory.

"Sorry, I made them," Jay fumbled on, allowing Bradford to now break out in a full smile as he propelled himself off the doorway so that Jay and his accomplices could get back to safety.

"Well Halstead, it took you long enough to reappear. I see the stubbornness and refusal to do anything by the book survived the trip from Bolivia." Jay could only roll his eyes and proceed to barely make it into the room and on his bed before falling into a great level of exhaustion. He slept the remainder of the afternoon, stirring for dinner around 9pm, and then being tucked away into deep sleep the whole night. He was exhausted, but hopeful. He had to get outside. Get back home. There was no other option.