A/N: "But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.

"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat, "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad." - Lewis Carroll

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

"Sir, Sarah is gonna be a minute," Chuck said, coming through the door. He pulled up short, seeing Graham mad. He had never seen Graham this mad. "Sir?"

"I don't need Walker," Graham began.

"Technically, she a Bartowski now," Chuck corrected. He saw the look on Graham's face and cleared his throat. "Ahem. Then, Sir….I don't understand."

"YOU, are being charged with breaking The Geneva Conventions," Graham told Chuck.

"Me?" Chuck asked, sitting down in front of Graham. "My wife…I love her, don't get me wrong, but…she's been known to go a little far."

"I know," Graham replied.

"There was the tea party," Chuck began.

"That is off the record, and we will never speak of it," Graham told him.

"There's the Mom's with axes," Chuck ticked off of his fingers.

"How is Cathy?" Graham asked.

"Better, therapy was the right call," Chuck said. He paused for a second. "She did shoot someone four times the other day, but between therapy and target practice, she's getting much better."

"Who did she shoot?" Graham asked.

Chuck sat there quietly. "Her ex," Chuck replied. Graham groaned. "It was at least with a pellet gun."

"How bad?"

"They think they can save the testicles," Chuck replied. Graham's eyes went wide. "Her aim is much better." Graham put his head in his hands. "Well, if that's all sir," Chuck said, starting to stand. Graham never looked up, instead moved his right hand, and pointed down with his pointer finger. "Right," Chuck said, sitting.

"Now," Graham began. The door burst open, Sarah coming in with Molly. "Sarah, you're not needed."

"I'm confused, I was told a complaint was lodged," Sarah said.

"Mommy, what did you do this time?" Molly asked, innocently.

"I really don't know," Sarah said.

"See, Mommy didn't do anything," Molly told Graham.

"I know, this is about your father," Graham replied, before he thought.

"What?" Sarah asked. Molly hopped out of Sarah's arms, walked over to Chuck, climbed in his lap and took Chuck's face in her hands.

"What did you do, Daddy?" she asked.

"I don't know," Chuck told her. Molly studied him, nodded, got out of his lap, walked over to Graham, climbed in his lap, in spite of the protests, and took Graham's face in her hands.

"My Daddy didn't do it," Molly told him. "My Daddy is a good daddy."

"He is!" Sarah added. "Sir, you have the wrong man!"

"I'm afraid I don't," Graham said, which was impressive, because his face was still being smushed by Molly's hands. He gently removed them. "I don't think you should be here, Molly. Sarah."

Sarah sat in the chair beside Chuck, and crossed her arms in defiance. She then uncrossed them, and took Chuck's hand. She let go, got up, sat in Chuck's lap, took his hand, and crossed her arms. Molly crossed her arms and scowled at Graham.

"Fine, if I'm understanding the complaint right," Graham said, trying to look around the toddler, who kept moving, trying to give him the stink eye. "You used an accomplice."

Sarah's eyes went wide, and she turned to Chuck. "How DARE you!" She spun to Graham. "Who was the hussy!?" Graham looked at Molly, then back to Sarah, and then jabbed his head in Molly's direction.

"Wait, is this about Fred?" Chuck asked.

"Yes," Graham said.

"So that's against The Geneva Conventions?" Chuck asked. "I mean…I get why."

Sarah turned slowly towards Chuck. "You tortured someone without me?"

"Listen, I didn't realize it was considered legally torture, I mean you and I know it's torture," Chuck told her. Sarah looked confused. Chuck looked at Molly and then back to Sarah. "That…song," he said quietly. Sarah thought for a second. "The one about..V…E…G-"

"OOOhhhhh," Sarah replied. She looked at Graham. "Seriously, that wimp thinks that's torture. He only listened for thirty minutes. And, I was involved. She was using my phone."

"So you had a recording done of this?" Graham asked.

"No, she was singing," Chuck told Graham.

"But the complaint said it was done for over a half hour straight," Graham responded.

"Are you calling him a liar?" Sarah asked moving toward Graham. Chuck pulled her back against him. "I'm conflicted, I want you not to say anything bad about Chuck, but if you do, he'll keep pulling me back against him."

"I'm gonna have a brother or sister one day," Molly said sagely.

"It's a damn miracle you don't already," Graham muttered. "You're telling me that…" he glanced at Molly. "She sang that over and over…"

"And over and over and over and over," Chuck said, nodding. Sarah nodded. "Sir, at first, it's cute, but then….then…." Chuck let out a sigh.

"It can't be that bad," Graham insisted.

Chuck and Sarah shared a look. "Molly," Chuck said. She looked over at him. "Will you sing Mr. Graham your song, and sing the long version?"

"Okay," Molly said. She looked bashful, and began to sing, in a low tone. "Veeegie tales…veeeegie tales….veeeeegie tales…..veegietales," she sang the last quickly, and mashed together.

"That's adorable," Graham said. He looked down as she began to repeat it. "So, she just keeps singing that?"

"Yep," Chuck replied.

"How many times?" Graham asked.

"I lost count after three thousand four hundred and twenty-five," Sarah told Graham.

"In a row?" Graham asked. He looked down at the little girl, who had now picked up a pen for him desk and played with it, all while singing. "She can't go on for that long." Chuck and Sarah gave him a look.

}o{

Fifteen minutes later

"Doesn't she get hoarse or need water?" Graham asked, Molly still singing.

"I swear she's a camel and stores it somewhere," Chuck said, looking up from his phone. "Do you believe me now when I say, this was not planned, or intentional. We leave the phones on to communicate, and I had left the room. I didn't know Molly had Sarah's phone or what she was doing."

"He's in a psych ward!" Graham said. Chuck just shrugged.

}o{

Thirty minutes later

"Oh, she just changed keys," Sarah said, looking at her phone. She was an old pro at this after all.

"How do you put up with this?" Graham asked.

"Usually she goes to her room and does it to entertain herself," Chuck said with a shrug.

}o{

An hour and a half later

"Okay," Graham said.

"Molly time for a bath," Sarah said. Molly shut her mouth, jumped out of the chair and ran out of the room. "I'll go after her." Sarah chased after her.

"Thank God, I love that woman, but I can't feel my legs," Chuck told Graham. Graham just stared at him. "What?"

"I think you're the craziest one of the bunch," Graham told him. Chuck struggled to his feet, the blood returning to his legs. "You're something else."

"So if we capture Diego, and we have Molly sing to him?" Chuck began. Graham shook his head. "Okay, gotta go." With that Chuck left. "That entire family is nuts."

A/N: Hope it made you smile. And those of you without children…yes, toddlers will sing the same song for HOURS just to entertain themselves.