AN: Hello, FF and Harry Potter fans. I do not own Harry Potter but feel free to enjoy this or hate it. If you enjoy it, please leave a lovely comment, if you hate it, then leave some constructive criticism, thanks!
Can You Take the Jump?
Chapter 69
Lily felt a sense of intense déjà vu sitting at the hospital. Merlin, she bloody hated this place. She had not one good memory here. Years of separation from Hermione due to her being here, years of her being tied to one of those fucking white cots, the weeks stuck here as she recovered from the fire while Hermione left, and now James's father…
There was no place in the world that Lily hated more than the hospital; the smell in the air, the fake smiles on people, the whiteness of it all, and the sounds of everything everywhere.
She petted James's head lying across her lap. He'd finally fallen asleep from exhaustion as they sat on the uncomfortable chairs, waiting for the results of his father's examinations.
The sound of someone's heels clicking on the floor made her turn her head. One of the healers in their trauma-inducing white cloaks walked towards her with a worryingly severe face.
She also hated healers. She was sure most of them were good healers, but it was so very rare to see one who was also a good person. As someone who spent a great deal of her life in these four obnoxiously white walls, she hadn't seen any that fit both descriptions except for Alphard.
It was clear that the healer was approaching them, so she looked down to gently shake James awake, only to see his eyes already wide open. So much for thinking he'd fallen asleep.
She wordlessly helped him off her lap.
"Mr. Potter?"
"Just James, please. Mr. Potter is… Mr. Potter has always just been my father except at school."
The healer looked visibly uncomfortable with the request. Lily couldn't help but roll her eyes.
"O-okay, J-James, uh your father's examinations are done. While the healers are checking the results, would you like to go see your father?"
James hurriedly stood, signalling a very clear nonverbal yes, but the healer looked at him blankly.
"GO, lead the way." Lily snapped.
"O-oh, yes. Follow me." He turned around and walked down the hall he came from. As they followed the white-cloaked idiot, James's hand searched for her own, intertwining their fingers tightly when he found her hand. It was as though he couldn't spare being a moment away from her, even for the short distance from the waiting room to his father's room despite having been next to her for the past 24 hours.
She squeezed his hand tightly as they found themselves in front of his father's VIP room.
"I'd like to remind you that your father is still very groggy. We had to put him under for the examination, so it'll take a while for him to be fully cognisant because of his age. He'll be confused and maybe a little scared, but I assure you that's normal."
James nodded, looking frightened himself.
The healer let James through but stopped her at the door.
"Unfortunately, it's family only."
"Hey! Lily is—" James turned around grabbing the healer by his cloak, but he was cut off by Lily thrusting her finger up to the healer's face. For a split second, James thought she was flipping the healer off, but upon closer inspection, he realized she was showing him her ring finger.
"I am family." She pushed the healer aside and confidently walked in.
Despite the dire and tragic family situation he was in, James found himself smiling. Lily was family now.
"James, come, your father is waiting," Lily reached her hand out. He took her outstretched hand once more and walked towards his father.
The speechless healer stood at the doorway for a moment before sheepishly walking away at being completely ignored.
"Hey pops," James smiled softly, pushing down the sickly feeling at seeing his father so frail.
It didn't take long for James to figure out that his parents were significantly older than the other parents with children his age. He remembered the first time he went to play in the home of another kid his age, James had thought their parents were their older siblings, not their parents. It hadn't occurred to him that parents could be parents so young until that moment. He also remembered going home later that day and touching his parent's grey hairs and wrinkles with fascination.
That day he learned what infertility meant, but also what a miracle was.
James was a miracle, that was what he was raised to believe. He was loved and wanted; he was their precious miracle.
"Who's there?" A groggy voice called out.
"Dad, it's me. James."
"James?" He looked confused as if he didn't know who he was talking about. He blinked a few times. "My son's name is James."
Lily let out a small gasp as all colour drained from James's face.
"Dad! It's me! Dad!" James was about to grab his father as if to shake him, but Lily quickly intercepted. She pulled him to the far corner of the VIP room and whispered frantically into his ear.
"James! The healer said he'd be confused, remember? You're scaring him. It's a side effect."
Lily had never seen James look so unsure before. He was the epitome of confidence and reassurance. He was someone whom she could always look towards for certainty and steadfastness. It was different from Hermione's confidence, which derived from thinking up every possible situation that could go wrong and finding a solution for each and every scenario. James's confidence was pure and rather simple. He simply truly believed things would turn out for the better. Whether it was because of his skills, because of someone else's competence, or because of people's goodwill.
It was naïve, ridiculous, and so much more, but it was James. He grew up in a world that allowed him to believe in such things. No, his parents surrounded him and sheltered him to make sure that he believed such a world could exist. Perhaps they thought it would help him grow up to be a person who would work to make that kind of world into reality, but she could see how their coddling had made him so naïve that he seemed foolish.
"Lily, my dad." Tears welled up in his eyes. "My dad! He… he doesn't know… he doesn't know me!"
Now to see that father in such a state… Lily couldn't imagine the world-crushing sorrow he felt.
"He does, James. He does just give him a minute."
He looked up at her, eyes like a child.
"You're his son. He needs you to be strong right now because he's gotten weak."
Her words seemed to jump-start his brain once more.
"Yes. Yes, of course. It's just a side-effect." He gave her a shaky smile, almost like an apology for his sudden weakness, but Lily didn't want him to apologize. She squeezed his hand tightly.
He gave her a soft smile, as though he understood what she was trying to convey from just the touch of their hands.
"Hey Dad, sorry for my outburst. Did I frighten you?"
"A-Are you, my healer?"
James's smile wavered slightly, "No, but would you like me to call them?"
"Where's Euphy? Where's my wife?"
"She taking a short nap, would you like me to bring her?"
"Oh," he suddenly looked so very sad, like he was going to burst into tears with the smallest push. "Did she lose the baby again? I told her that we don't have to have a child, that I love her just the same and hate to see her in so much pain, but she wants a baby so much. Can't you help her Mr. Healer?"
James and Lily glanced at each other.
It was clear that Mr. Potter was very confused. Just a moment ago, he remembered that he had a son named James, but now it seemed like his mind took him back to a time before James was even born.
"We'll get you your doctor, Mr. Potter. I mean, healer. Rest up."
Just as Lily was turning, Mr. Potter grabbed her by the arm.
"That ring," he stared intently at the ring on her finger. "That's a Potter heirloom ring. It's Euphy's favourite ring."
"Is it?" James asked. "If it's her favourite ring, why doesn't she have it?"
"I… I proposed to her with it." Mr. Potter looked confused for a while, but then his eyes shined with a memory. "But she demanded that I propose with a new ring because she wanted to save this one for her future daughter or daughter-in-law."
He looked up at Lily with the most curious eyes.
"Are you my daughter?"
Lily smiled, "Not quite."
He looked back and forth between James and Lily.
There was a soft knock on the door.
"Mr. Potter?" Another healer walked in cautiously. He eyed the three standing in the VIP room, quickly reading the emotions on their face.
"I'm Healer Obaris Dread." She smiled at him and glanced at the couple standing anxiously next to her. "I'm your neuro-healing specialist. How are you feeling?"
"He can't remember me," James interjected, panic still very prevalent in his voice. "He thinks it's the past."
"James—" Lily tried to calm him down.
"I-I'm sorry," Mr. Potter looked at James and then the Healer once more, looking ever more confused and apologetic.
"There's no need to be sorry, Mr. Potter. The potion we use to make you sleep for the exam does have some side effects and confusion, but just to be sure, could you answer some of my questions for me, sir?"
"O-of course."
"While we do this, perhaps it'll be best if you go and wake up your mother," the female healer turned to James with a stiff and practiced smile that told him to get out of this room.
"I'll stay with him," Lily promised, but she also thought that giving James a moment to breathe was for the best. Perhaps dealing with his father's current memory loss would be best dealt with some support from his mother.
"I'll be quick."
Once James was out of the room, the Healer turned back to Mr. Potter who stared at the door that James ran out of with an odd expression on his face.
"Do you know who that was, Mr. Potter?"
He gave a jerky shake of his head.
"But he's… important?" He looked at them as though he was trying to confirm his mind.
"Yes, very important to you, Mr. Potter." Lily nodded earnestly.
"Can you please tell me the date today?"
"Uhm… De-…" He glanced at the clothes Lily was wearing. "Ju-July? Tw-te…?" Panic visibly grew on his face.
"What about your full name?"
"Fleamont Corvus James Potter."
"Your wife's name?"
"Euphemia… where is she? Where is my wife?"
"She'll be here soo—"
The door flung open and a woman 3x Lily's age and about a head smaller than her pushed both Lily and the Healer with such force that the Healer crashed into the IV bag older and Lily would have fallen to the floor had it not been for James's quick reflexes.
"Fleamont!" The woman's long silver-grey hair was a mess and her attire haphazard, but her beauty was undeniable as she cradled Mr. Potter's face between her small hands.
"Euph—"
The rest of his sentence was muffled when she kissed him square on the lips and hugged him.
"Okay," James blinked before gently tapping his mother's arms. "Mum, let's give dad some air."
"O-Oh, yes. Silly me," she reprimanded herself, although she didn't seem all that sorry.
"Euphy," Mr. Potter raised his hands and touched his wife's face. Lily and the Healer shared a nervous glance, wondering about the chaos that would ensue if he didn't recognize her either.
"You're still as beautiful as ever."
The rest of the room let out a collective sigh of relief. It wasn't the response they had been hoping for, but it wasn't the worst. However, it was clear that Mrs. Potter was not satisfied with it.
"Why don't we talk more in an office where everyone can sit and we can leave Mr. Potter to recuperate some more."
The healer gestured for everyone to follow her.
"What's wrong with him? What's wrong with my Monty?" She gripped her son's hands tightly when they were seated at the Healer's office.
"I haven't finished questioning him, but he seems to be suffering from amnesia. His mind is stuck in the past and cannot understand or remember anything more current. Thankfully, these cases are temporary, so his memory should be returning over the next few days."
Lily gave James a tight but hopeful smile. His father would remember him eventually, he just had to give it some more time.
"Yes, but why did he collapse."
There was a twitch in the corner of the Healer's mouth. Lily intertwined her fingers with James, bracing him and herself.
"We can see a growth in his brain. A tumour to be exact." The Healer allowed the information to sink in for a while as the temperature in the room dropped several degrees at the news.
James's grip lost all strength, but Lily held on tightly for him. However, holding the other hand was Mrs. Potter who fell to the floor.
"Mrs. Potter!" "Mom!" They all rushed toward the woman, but instead of standing up, Mrs. Potter held onto the coattails of the Healer.
"Tell me it's treatable. Tell me!"
"The course of action that we suggest is some treatment to reduce the size of the tumour, then surgery. But I must warn you that there is high risk due to its location and Mr. Potter's age."
"How high is the risk?" Lily asked tentatively.
"Very high, possibly fatal."
"W-what if the tumour isn't removed? He was fine until recently. Can't we get him treatment to maintain his current state?"
The healer shook their head. "Cancer is different from magical folk and muggles. If a tumour is found in a muggle, it can either be benign or malignant. There has never been a benign tumour in the history of cancer in the magical world. That's because our magic protects us. Heals us. However, if we do get cancer… it can be very bad, very fast."
She turned to Mrs. Potter and asked in the gentlest manner she could.
"There wouldn't have been many signs, nothing obvious."
Mrs. Potter sniffled, "He said his head's been hurting, and he was stumbling more, but I thought it was because he was drinking more often. I let it slide because he was removed from the office and they fired all his subordinates… I thought he… I thought he was depressed! I should have known when he forgot his father's birthday had just passed... I-I didn't…"
"You couldn't have known, Mrs. Potter. It's not your fault."
James hugged his sobbing mother as tears dripped down his face.
Lily looked down at her shining engagement ring, feeling a deep hopelessness once more.
The healer pushed several files to them. "These are all your options, as well as the benefits and consequences of all of them. We'll give you a few days to make a decision, but our medical advice is to go ahead with the surgery."
The three of them exited the healer's office and trudged back to Mr. Potter's hospital room, their minds reeling from all the information that was given to them.
The Potters stopped in front of the door, both of them terrified to go in.
Mrs. Potter breathed in a deep breath, opened the doors, and walked in. She paused, looking behind her, but when James didn't lift his feet, she gave him a small nod and shut the door behind her.
"You have to go in," Lily told him.
"Lily, I don't think I can—"
"James," she stopped him. "It's not about you. It's about your father. You have to go in."
"But what if he doesn't remember me?"
Lily let out a deep sigh, "If he doesn't remember you, then he doesn't remember you, but it doesn't change that he's your father and he needs you. Even though he doesn't remember you. Whenever my sister was hospitalized and sick, my family would plaster on fake smiles and talk about things that didn't matter just to pretend that everything was fine. That everything was going to be fine. Hermione would do the same thing for us. Put on her small and fake smile, pretending that she wasn't in pain so that it wouldn't hurt us."
She shook her head at those painful memories of her family sitting in the room at the far end of the west corner on the 4th floor' Hermione's private room in the Janus Thickey Ward.
"Faking your real emotions and putting on a lie isn't what I'm telling you to do, hell, it wasn't something my family should have done either. But the fact is, all of you need each other right now, whether you're broken, sad, or scared, it doesn't matter. Go in there, and discuss the issue, the treatment options, the risks and the consequences. Talk about the difficult stuff with your parents, so that you can hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Because, trust me, James. The worst feeling is to have important, life-altering decisions made for you, placed on your lap, and be told to simply accept them."
James looked at her with sad eyes. It felt so unnatural to see them on him. It felt so unnatural to be the strong one in an emotional situation.
He kissed her forehead.
"I'm going to tell them about us too." He rubbed her hand and twirled her engagement ring around her finger. "Give him something to live for. Our wedding, our life. A grandchild. You know how hard my parents worked to have me. They'd love a grandchild or grandchildren? Spoil them rotten."
Despite the situation, they both blushed. Lily nodded, giving him a quick peck on the lips, but James turned her head once more for a proper kiss.
"Thank you," he whispered to her.
He opened the door with a brave face.
Mr. Potter's eyes shot up, and Lily could see something flash before his eyes.
"James!" he cried.
James's brave face crumpled with tears of relief as he ran to his father's side, dragging Lily with him. "My son! How could I… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, James."
Tears immediately started to drop from James's eyes as he vigorously shook his head. "It's all right Dad. It's okay."
"It's not okay, I forgot my son!"
"You were just a little confused for a second. It's okay."
Mr. Potter pulled his son to his chest with surprising strength. The father and son hugged as they cried at the terrifying situation they found themselves in.
"You proposed!" Mr. Potter exclaimed in the middle of their teary hugs.
Lily let out a laugh through her tears. "And I said yes!"
"I have a daughter, as well as two sons! How blessed I am! Oh Lily, my Lily," he opened his arms toward her, inviting her in.
"Welcome to the family, my dear." Mrs. Potter opened her arms as well, a smile so wide and warm.
Lily threw herself into the heartfelt embrace.
As they hugged, Lily felt a warmth deep within her soul, something that had gone cold when all of her family had gone. She felt fuller than she had in a long time.
"Where is Sirius?"
The newly engaged couple froze.
"James? Lily? Where's Sirius?"
"We…we don't know. He left the flat for the proposal and expected him to be back later that night or at least in the morning, but he didn't. Peter's out searching."
Mr. Potter started pushing them away.
"Go. Go look for him. I'm fine. Go."
"Dad, Sirius is a big—"
"James," his father cut him off with a severe glare. "Have you forgotten that he's a desirable for the dark side? No one gets left behind in this family! Ugh!" He held his head as though a headache was about to overtake him.
"Monty," Mrs. Potter was at eye-level with him, checking for any signs he'd faint again. "You mustn't strain yourself."
"James," Lily gently patted his arm. "Stay with your father, I'll look for Sirius."
"Lily, you shouldn't walk around alone."
"You have to stay here. Lily glanced at the thick files the Healer had left for them. You guys have a lot to discuss. Don't worry I'll be fine."
"But!"
"I'm always walking around Diagon Alley for work anyway, nothing has changed. I'll be right back."
..
"Hermione knew I'd come and find you." Severus slumped onto the sofa, suddenly feeling drained. "Of course she did."
"Mistress left rushing, but she made sure to tell Pinky and give him this, yes she did." The elderly elf reached his hand forward and placed something onto his hand.
"Wha—" It was a blank scrap of parchment, not even the size of his palm. "What's this?"
Pinky shrugged.
"Mistress is not liking many words."
"Tell me everything she said before she left. Word for word."
The elf nodded and then cleared his throat. With remarkable likeness, he imitated Hermione's voice.
"Pinky, I'm going to give you a command, are you ready?" Pinky took the piece of parchment from Severus and placed it in his hand. "This is for you. I'm giving it to you for safekeeping. The only person who's allowed access to this is Severus Snape. No one else."
"Why Mistress?" Pinky reverted his voice to his own.
"Severus is looking after some people for me. If they get into trouble, he'll need to contact me, that's why he's the only one who gets this and only when he comes to you to ask for me. Don't just give it to him."
"What about Young Master Black? And Miss Lily?"
"Mistress looked sad at this question," Pinky told him in his normal voice. "I've entrusted Sirius and Lily's and even James's safety with someone else that I trust. They'll be safe. Can you do me a favour though? Make my sister a nice warm meal once a week if you can. She won't have anyone after Hogwarts. And make sure Sirius doesn't drink too much, now that he's legal."
"Why can't Mistress just stay and do it herself? Pinky can see Mistress wishes to do it herself. Pinky knows Mistress. Pinky knows."
"Mistress Hermione had a very sad smile," Pinky explained. "But she didn't respond. She placed the paper into Pinky's hands and left. Mistress didn't look back once. Pinky wanted to go on a picnic to Master Alphard's grave once Mistress was done school…Pinky wanted…"
The elf's abnormally large eyes welled with tears as he thought of his old Master.
"D-don't cry, Pinky. I-I'm going to go find her. I'm going to bring her back home. I promise. And you can go on that picnic you've dreamt of."
The old elf gripped his hands tightly as he slipped the parchment back into his hand.
"Master Severus," he pleaded. "When yous find Mistress, tell Mistress that Pinky tried. Pinky really tried. Pinky threw the bottles away, poured them down the drain, scolded and berated, but Master Sirius wouldn't stop. Young Master Sirius is very sad. Young Master, he is sad and only Mistress's return will make him stop. Pinky punished Pinky for failing Mistress's orders. Pinky has to continue to punish himself for failing Mistress's orders until Mistress returns, but Mistress doesn't like Pinky punishing himself, so Pinky punishes himself for making Mistress sad."
Severus blinked at the cycle of self-inflicted abuse that the elf had caused himself. He looked at the old elf's little thin arms and legs. There were old scars, it was expected as an elf in Black property, but there were newer ones, fresher ones, in angles that only made sense if one did it to themselves.
"Pinky," he grabbed his arms in horror, ashamed of himself for not recognizing them sooner, blinded by his own complicated thoughts. "Stop hurting yourself. This is a command."
Pinky just shook his head. "Master Severus is not Pinky's true Master. Only Mistress Hermione can order Pinky to stop."
"I'll… I'll find her. I promise. I promise I'll find her."
The elf gave him a sad nod.
He stood up, about to leave when he stopped in his tracks at the small velvet ring box sitting on the side table with no ring inside. His neck practically snapped as his attention returned to the ostentatious décor that covered the normally monochrome flat.
His legs weakened beneath him.
"Pinky did… did Lily get… did she g-get…e-eng-gaged?"
"Yes, Miss Lily was very happy."
Severus fell to the floor. Pinky shook him in alarm, talking to him, asking him something, but nothing registered in Severus's mind.
Lily was engaged. And it wasn't to him.
Lily was getting married, but not to him.
Lily would be someone's wife, but not his.
He was too late. She was someone else's.
"Severus?"
She stood there like an angel, just like the first time they met. He still distinctly remembered when he first laid eyes on the girl standing in front of him. Until he met her, Severus didn't know people could smile, laugh, and care so much. In fact, Severus didn't believe it at first. He thought it was an act to gain attention. It wasn't until he'd gotten hurt when they were alone in the playground that he realized it was never an act. She cried at the smallest cut on his arm, blubbering and worrying that it hurt.
It's nothing. He'd say, he had suffered much worse on the nights his father drank.
To me, it's not nothing. She'd insist as she carefully picked the dirt out of her wound. She would bring him fresh bandages every day until it was fully healed. Even though he had plaster at home, he'd always wait for the ones Lily brought to him.
She never remarked on his unfitted or dirty clothes. She invited him to her warm home for dinner more times than he could remember. She liked his intelligence and appreciated his books, but also pulled him out to the sunlight to enjoy life. She silently wept at the bruises from his father praying for a miracle that he'd one day stop. She'd apply ointment on his wounds and promised she'd take care of him in a way that no one did at the time.
Lily was an entity to him, representing everything he desperately wanted in life. His dream.
"Sev? Are you okay?" She leaned down to the floor with that same concerned look in her eyes from all those years ago.
"Y-Yeah, sorry." He took her hand and helped himself off the floor.
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, uhm. Pinky let me in, I didn't… you know… break in."
"Yeah, I know… I wasn't thinking that."
"Right," he cleared his throat. He took a good look at her, but it looked like she had been crying. "Did you cr—"
"I'm engaged." She cut him off "B-by the way."
Severus blinked slowly.
"I thought you should be the first to know since… since you're my best friend."
Severus stood there in silence for a while. Lily looked like she wanted to break the silence several times, but she managed to stay quiet, a true feat.
Best friends. Yes, they were that, but he always imagined something so much more.
He stared at the girl he'd been deeply in love with for most of his life.
The shock reverberated in him still, but it wasn't as painful as he thought it would be.
No. Correction.
It hurt, but it was a very different type of hurt than he imagined. He thought it would be a similar pain to his ugly jealousy. To the person who thought jealousy was green, it wasn't. It was white-hot and burned intensely, waiting for an inevitable explosion. The pain he felt at the massive glimmering gemstone on her hand was a deep ache that throbbed, a pain that he knew would last for a longer time than he wanted, but it wasn't the searing tear-jerking pain he'd expected at this inevitable news. For some reason, this deep aching pain didn't make him mad or blind with jealousy like he was used to when it came to Lily.
Simply put, his heart was breaking. He was experiencing what all those poets, singers, writers, film producers and more were talking about. A true and genuine heartbreak. Something that was only possible if you had a true and genuine love for someone. One of the most human experiences one could have.
"Does he make you happy?"
Lily's nervous face, relaxed at his tone. She gave him a sincere smile as she nodded. Neither of them was angry or defensive. There was no pretense of pride felt at that moment, a rarity considering it was both of their fatal flaws.
"Do you think I could have made you that happy?"
"Sev, I—"
"I love you."
It was her turn to go silent.
"I know," she nodded knowingly after a while. The way she responded made him embarrassed for his own sake. He thought he'd hidden it well over the years, but clearly, he was wrong.
"I think you could have made me happy if you ever put me first and your pride second." She let out a small laugh. "I'm not blaming you; I was the same. I was always putting my pride first before you too. You're not the helpless little boy who needs me to help you and fix you. You had the strength and power to do that all on your own. You need to be with someone who sees that strength and lifts you up. Sev, with both of our pride getting in the way, I don't think I would have made you happy in the long run. My pride prevented me from showing you any imperfections. If I ever slipped and showed you the trillions of imperfections rampant within me," she shook her head at the mere thought. "I would have never forgiven myself, but my pride once again wouldn't have let the blame be placed on myself so I would have deflected to you." She looked frustrated at herself for the fictional situation she'd created in her mind.
"I'm working on it, I'm not perfect. I think both of us got that pretty clearly this year when my ugly side was unintentionally exposed. I'm not just the sunshine and bubbles that you think I am. I'm insecure and a middle child who cries for attention. I can be stupid. I'm stubborn and unimaginably petty."
"Potter's always seen that side and loves you regardless."
Lily nodded.
"I saw that and felt disappointment."
"Ah, the downsides of putting someone on a pedestal," she smiled sadly. "He doesn't just see me; he sees through me into my soul."
What could Severus say that could beat that?
"Then—" his voice broke, so he cleared it and tried once again. "Then I guess all that's left for me to say is congratulations." He reached out and hugged his best friend. Her arms immediately curled around him and hugged him tightly in return.
He buried his nose in her beautiful red hair and breathed in the scent that made him daydream in class and haunt his dreams at night. The scent he craved whenever the heaviness of loneliness crushed him. The scent that pulled him out of the darkness that was his childhood.
"Goodbye, my first love."
Lily's shoulders shook with tears.
"It was an honour being the first love of a remarkable man." She whispered into his neck.
He cried too, knowing that this would be the end of them.
"I will always love you." She promised.
Except her love and his love weren't the same. It would take time for him to love her the way she loved him, and he wasn't confident if he could. Maybe far into the future, they could be friends again, but it would never be the same, they would never be them. It would be just Severus and his childhood friend Lily.
"I will always love you too."
…
The Slytherin boys and Sirius stood around the piece of paper that Severus had brought back from Pinky.
"I thought you said the elf didn't know shit." Avery accused.
"He didn't. At least when I asked." Sirius muttered, senile elf, under his breath, but the way he kept glaring at the back of Severus's head clued him into the fact that the dumb lion wasn't as dumb as he thought.
"But this isn't anything," Regulus claimed. "It's just a piece of paper with nothing written on it! This is fuck all."
"Yeah," Avery agreed. "And I need to get Lily Evans to the Dark Lord soon, my parents are getting antsy and so am I."
"Not Lily!" Severus and Sirius shouted at the same time. The two glared at each other, mostly out of habit, but were secretly intrigued to see that their views were finally aligning after 6 years of animosity.
"I have no other option!" Avery slammed his hand onto the table, the paper fluttering. "I'm giving you fucks one day to figure this shit out otherwise, I'm fucking kidnapping Lily Evans from wherever the fuck she's staying right now."
He stormed out, leaving the four boys to stare at the piece of paper once more.
"You're awfully quiet, Lucius. Any suggestions?"
Lucius shook his head, nonchalantly. "I have my own issues to deal with at the moment—"
"If!" Sirius jumped in. "If you help with this, I'll help you find Cousin Cissa."
"What?"
"I can do it. I know all of her favourite spots and her favourite summer villas or estates on the continent. I can find her. She's due sometime soon, isn't she? Malfoy babies are born in the Malfoy Manor. Isn't that your tradition?"
When Lucius still continued to walk away, Sirius started shouting again until the blond put up a stern hand.
"I'm getting a quill. It's a piece of parchment, the least we can do is try to use it as its given purpose before trying other things."
…
The parchment soaked up all ink and made it clean as though you'd never written on it. The thing didn't get wet, soaking up the water they dunked it in, just like it did the ink. They tried it with a graphite pencil, wondering if it just reacted with liquids, but interestingly it stayed there. It wasn't just that, the paper didn't crumple, even if you squeezed it tightly in your first or folded it a bunch of times. They tried casting all sorts of enchantments on it to figure out its essence. To result in nothing.
"Let's try burning it," Avery suggested, after returning from his pout.
"No." Everyone spoke in unison.
"Come on. It seems practically indestructible, the only thing we haven't done is try burning it."
"Or ripping it," Regulus added, which rewarded him a smack at the back of the head by Sirius. "Oi!"
"Severus, she left this for you," Lucius raised his brow. "I think you're the only one who can figure this out."
"Yeah, Snape, you're like her best friend!" Avery pushed. "Think like her!"
"I'm not… I don't…" he trailed off. He stared at the paper for a while. Think like Hermione? Who the fuck can think like Hermione fucking Evans?
"She would have said something to you. You're the last person who saw her at Hogwarts and she left this for you," Sirius Black glanced at the piece of paper with a small frown. "She never does anything without a purpose. Just think, Snape. What did Hermione say to you at Hogwarts."
"She just told me to get her a wand out of the Room of Requirement."
"No, something else."
"Told me to train the Slytherins."
"No, that doesn't seem…"
"She told me to keep you guys safe. Make sure nothing happens."
The group looked uneasy and ashamed of the request. Without Hermione, they hadn't been training as hard, pushing themselves to the limit like Hermione had. They were enjoying their summers despite the loom of war. And although they blamed Hermione for 'running away', there was not a doubt in any of their minds that Hermione Evans was putting in every effort to stop the coming war.
"And practice Occlumency."
Everyone nodded at her usual bragging, but Lucius paused.
"She put that at the end? Like an… afterthought?"
The boys stopped as well.
"But there's no way, Evans focused on Occlumency even more than physical training." Avery looked confused.
All their eyes trailed onto the paper.
"No way…" Avery scoffed. "I mean it's… It's a piece of paper! I know Evans is good with magic, but we're not all thinking of using Occlumency on a piece of…paper?
"We got nothing else. After this, I guess we can try ripping it and burning the piece, but it's worth a shot."
Severus slowly pulled out his wand with hesitation, but it was Regulus who cut to the chase.
"Occlumens!"
It was as if all the liquid they had spilled onto the paper started spilling out. The ink, the water, everything. Suddenly, a silverish matter started coming out, staining the paper with its not-liquid, but not-solid type essence.
"What the fuck?" Sirius stepped closer and then gasped.
"What?" The other boys leaned closer to see the stain starting to spell something.
"What is it writing?"
"How am I supposed to know?"
"Fol…"
"Follow? Folk? Fold?"
"No, Foloi Oa—"
"Foloi Oak Forest." Lucius finished for him. "She's in Greece."
