Chapter 1
Six months ago, Blair Waldorf forgot how to smile. Of course, her muscle memory would still mimic the action, lifting the corners of her mouth and presenting her unsuspecting family with the image of a truly happy twenty-something Manhattanite living in Paris. She refused to let their breakup affect her daily interactions, so everyone – her mother, her father, even Dorota – bought the sugary sweet grin she offered freely. If he'd been there, though, he would've immediately called her out on her deception. Her expression may convey contentment, but she felt dead inside. Her face remembered how to go through the motions, fooling those around her, but the natural smile that used to grace her delicate features had long since faded. The moments that elicited the brightest smile were nothing but a memory, so, now, she smiled out of obligation. Happiness was no longer on the menu, and the worst part was that she still didn't understand why.
She lost her reason to smile the moment he broke off their short-lived engagement with no other explanation than that they were drifting apart. It made no sense. Four years together, engaged for three weeks, and she thought they were happier than ever. Clearly, she was the only one though because that night he walked out the door and boarded a plane back to New York without her.
For the longest time, she tried to rationalize their illogical break-up. Maybe the engagement scared him because it was such a big commitment. She quickly dismissed that thought because while that could've been true of the Chuck Bass from four years ago, he'd proven many times over that he was not only capable of commitment but thrived on it. She'd briefly wondered if he'd met someone else, or if he was thrown off by the idea of only having one serious relationship in his lifetime. Before her, he'd been a stereotypical womanizer, sleeping with a different girl every night, never taking them on dates or bothering to find out their names. Perhaps, he wanted to make sure that Blair really was the one – his soulmate.
The question burned in her mind. He'd once told her that he'd never believed in soulmates, but he couldn't fathom anyone more perfectly made for him than her. She knew he'd meant it. She knew he'd loved her more fiercely than any other man ever would. What changed?
Later, when Harold returned to the chateau and asked where Chuck was, she couldn't bring herself to say the words aloud. Instead, she left out the most important part of the answer and told her father that he'd simply returned to New York for business. This one small omission set in motion the biggest lie she'd told her friends and family to date. Now, six months later, she still hadn't uttered the words that would give credence to her broken engagement. Perhaps it was her initial hope that it was just a temporary thing, but as weeks turned to months, she realized that he was serious. All of her plans for her life now seemed pointless without him.
Blair let out a loud sigh, preparing herself for the week ahead of her. She tried to force herself to find the excitement that she normally felt when reuniting with her best friends, but today just felt daunting. She would finally have to tell them the truth.
She plastered her mechanical smile onto her face and stepped out of the car as the chauffeur opened the door for her. Before she steadied herself on the ground, a pair of arms encircled her waist, pulling her into a tight hug. Bubbly squeals and a swish of blonde hair told her whose arms currently had her in a death grip.
"Serena!" She cooed, returning her embrace, a sense of calm washing over her at the familiar presence of her friend.
"Oh, my God, B," Serena beamed, pulling back and cupping Blair's face in either hand, "I've missed you so much. You look beautiful."
"I've missed you, too," Blair replied sincerely. Tears sprang to her eyes as the truth of her statement overwhelmed her. "Let's not ever go so long without seeing each other again."
"Seriously, how could we not manage to carve out a long weekend in six months?"
Serena's question was rhetorical, but Blair knew the real answer was twofold. Blair had actively avoided seeing her best friend in person until she could figure out a way to explain to her that she'd lied to her for the past six months. Serena and Nate's last minute move to Los Angeles offered her the perfect cover because they were constantly canceling plans and apologizing for their busy schedules.
"When's everyone else set to arrive?" Blair asked.
She was grateful that their annual friends' trip just happened to fall during a week that she knew Chuck was stuck in Chicago in the middle of a heated merger between Bass Industries and Thorpe Enterprises. This trip marked the seventh year of their friend group vacationing together, and, as relieved as she was, Chuck's absence would prove to be bittersweet because, before now, none of them had missed a single trip.
"Oh, they're already here," Serena grinned, arching her eyebrows excitedly. "Apparently Eric has some big announcement. They're all in the kitchen, catching up with each other."
Blair couldn't wait to see her friends. While she'd always been closest to Serena, she had a soft spot for each of the other three boys. She had briefly dated Nate in high school, before they all realized that he was better matched with Serena. Though there had been momentary tension in the form of high-school drama between the three of them, it was water under the bridge at this point, and she still considered Nate to be one of her dearest friends.
Eric was Serena's little brother, and, by extension, growing up, Blair had thought of him as her own brother. He and Jonathan began dating during their senior year of high school, and shortly thereafter, the crew had welcomed Jonathan into their friend group with open arms.
In time, the six of them evolved into true best friends, and Blair had once considered herself lucky to share such a close-knit group of friends with her future husband. She was quickly realizing that her break-up with Chuck wasn't only devastating to her; it would completely destroy their group's dynamic. Once they all knew the truth, an irreparable chasm would form between the six of them. It would put Serena and Nate in a difficult position as a couple because, while Serena would always choose Blair when it came down to it, Nate would inevitably side with Chuck. Eric was a wildcard. On one hand, he and Blair were close long before Chuck came into their lives, but Chuck was the first person Eric ever came out to. He's always felt an allegiance to Chuck after he offered him the love and support he needed to come out to his family. And of course, Jonathan would side with Eric on whatever choice he made.
Blair followed Serena into their vacation rental - a beautiful luxury villa situated directly on a private beach. The three boys were standing around the kitchen island, snacking off a charcuterie board. When they saw Blair, they rushed to greet her; Nate reached her first, enveloping her in his arms.
"So, what's this big announcement, E?" Blair inquired after hugging each of the boys.
"Patience," Eric grinned. "Someone's missing."
"But Chuck's –"
Before she could finish her statement, a figure darkened the entryway to the kitchen, and without evening turning to look, she knew exactly who it was. She could physically feel his presence growing closer to her, and, within a few seconds, she knew that he was standing directly behind her. Her body stiffened at the realization that, if she just turned around, she would be face-to-face with the man who had broken her heart into a million tiny fragments – a man she hadn't even spoken to in six months.
"I'm here." His raspy voice sliced through her thoughts sending a chill straight down her spine. "What's the big news?"
Eric pulled Jonathan by the hand to stand beside him and they exclaimed in unison, "We're getting married!"
A cacophony of hoots, gasps, and "Oh, my God!" echoed throughout the room. Blair tried her best to be happy for her friends, but a small ache spread through her chest at the thought of attending a wedding and watching another couple achieve the happily-ever-after she thought she was heading toward.
As each of their four friends lined up to offer congratulatory hugs, Chuck worked his way next to Blair and whispered, "We need to talk."
"What are you doing here?" she snapped as quietly as she could while keeping a smile on her face.
"That's what we need to talk about -"
"And that's not even the biggest piece of news," Jonathan added, cutting into Chuck and Blair's discussion. "We're getting married here - on Saturday!"
"What?!" Tears of happiness formed behind Serena's blue eyes. "Eric, oh my God. My baby brother is getting married."
"Wow," Nate said, "I'm so happy for you guys, but this is so sudden."
"Well," Eric explained, "We figured it's getting harder and harder to get everyone in the same place at the same time, and we know that we're it for each other. We didn't see any reason to wait."
"What about your families?" Blair asked, remembering back to how important the guest list had been to her during her own short-lived experience with wedding planning.
"You guys are our family," Jonathan smiled. "Lily and my parents and sister are flying out on Friday, but, other than that, everyone we love is already here."
Serena popped a bottle of champagne while Nate and Blair gathered glasses. Once everyone had a flute in hand, Serena proposed a toast. "To my baby brother and the love of his life. I couldn't be happier or prouder than I am right now. Jonathan, I've always considered you family, but it's about time that it became official." Everyone raised their glasses, but before they could offer their cheers, Serena added, "And to Chuck and Blair." Panic plummeted into Blair's stomach like a boulder, and she shoved her left hand into her pocket to hide her naked ring finger. "We never got to properly celebrate your engagement, either. You are magnetic, and I couldn't imagine a more perfectly-matched couple than the two of you. Cheers!"
Blair's eyes cut to Chuck, and she nearly choked on her champagne when he reached his arm around her waist. Resting his hand on her hip, he pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to her temple. Before pulling away, he whispered against her ear, "I told you we need to talk."
"Okay," Jonathan interrupted for the second time. "Eric and I have taken the liberty of creating an itinerary for the week. The outline of events is in each of your rooms. We've done our best to carve out enough time for wedding festivities, alone time for couples, and fun activities for the group. We've made reservations for 8. It's now 6:30, so we'll let you all settle into your rooms and get dressed for dinner. Be back down here at 7:30 sharp. We love you guys and cannot wait for this week!"
XOXO
"Dammit," Blair cursed the minute she walked into her bedroom – or their bedroom, that is. "Why the hell are we sharing a room, Chuck?!" She was seconds away from popping a vein in her temple when he locked the door behind them.
"Keep your voice down," he admonished in frustration.
"I will not –"
"If you would just shut up, I would explain!" He raked his hand through his hair in exasperation, and something about seeing her normally collected ex in such an anxious state made her listen to him.
"What's going on, Chuck?" she asked quietly.
"Eric called me this morning with an urgent request. This merger with Thorpe is kicking my ass, and I almost didn't even answer the phone. That's not okay with me, Blair. I don't want to be the kind of person who puts business above the people I love."
"What does that have to do with me…" She quickly corrected herself, "With what's going on here?"
"When he called, he told me that he and Jonathan were getting married on the annual trip, and he begged me to figure out a way to be here. I didn't want to blindside you, but I literally found out early this morning. It was too late to warn you."
"Why are we sharing a room, Chuck? Why did Serena toast our engagement?" She pressed her fingers to her temple, a migraine working itself behind her eyes.
"I could ask you the same question," he shrugged. "I didn't know that they still thought we were engaged until I got here, and they directed me to 'our' room."
"Why didn't you tell them that you broke it off?" she screeched.
"Why didn't you?!" he snapped back.
"I -" She set her mouth into a thin line and exhaled slowly. "This isn't helping anything. It doesn't matter why we didn't tell them. The point is that they don't know, and we have to tell them tonight."
"Like hell we are," Chuck refuted.
Blair's mouth fell open, her eyes narrowing at the infuriating man standing in front of her. She whisper-yelled, "I am not staying in this room with you, Chuck. I am not sharing a bathroom with you, and I'm sure as hell not sleeping in a bed with you."
Chuck inhaled through his nose, calling on every ounce of self-control he had to maintain his composure. Blair had always been stubborn, but this time it was outweighing her sense of logic. "We cannot tell them at all this week, Blair. Our friends are getting married; they want us to be a part of the wedding. Telling them that we can barely be in the same room as each other is certain to derail the entire thing. I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be."
"I don't accept that." She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "I won't lie to our friends."
"Too fucking bad," he growled. "You've been lying to them for months anyway. Deal with it because we're not ruining this once-in-a-lifetime moment for Eric and Jonathan because you're throwing a hissy fit."
Blair felt her chin quiver, but she refused to show him an ounce of emotion besides anger and resentment. "I hate you," she sneered as she grabbed her cosmetics case and slammed the bathroom door behind her.
Chuck dropped onto the bed, running his palm down his jaw. That went even worse than he'd anticipated. He'd known to expect Blair's anger, but when her lip jutted out into a nearly imperceptible pout and her eyes shone with fresh tears that she refused to let fall, he wanted to fall to his knees in front of her.
He stood, straightening his suit and knocked softly on the bathroom door.
No answer.
He knocked again.
Still no answer.
"Blair?" He knocked harder.
"What?!" she snapped, and he was almost certain he could hear her sniffling.
"I -" he paused with a sigh. "I'm sorry. I wish it was different, but it's not." He waited for her to speak, but when she didn't say anything, he said, "I'll sleep on the floor, and I'll make sure that I'm out of the room when you need your space. It's the best I can do. We will tell them, but it can't be until some time after the wedding."
Blair remained knelt over the toilet for a few moments, her body dry-heaving as sobs racked her chest. She clutched her hands to her mouth in an attempt to stifle her uncontrollable whimpers. After freshening her makeup to the best of her ability, she exited the bathroom to find the bedroom empty.
She found her 8-carat Harry Winston engagement ring on the nightstand on her side of the bed. Beside the ring was a note scribbled in familiar penmanship: "Wear this so no one grows suspicious. I really am sorry. -C"
Dropping down onto the bed, she slipped the ring on her finger, choking back the tears that threatened to spill for the second time that evening. She'd given him enough tears over the last few months, and she told herself that she was strong enough to get through this without an emotional breakdown.
Her thoughts mocked her resolve, though. Not only did they have to continue to pretend to be engaged, but they had to put on a show in front of their closest friends – the people who knew them better than anyone else. Blair had a lot of practice recently in fooling her loved ones, but that was just her. Now, she and Chuck would have to behave the way they always had as a couple – loving, doting, intimate. It had always come so naturally to them when they were together, but now she could barely look at him without her body physically reacting to the memory of him leaving her.
At 7:25, there was a light knock on the door, followed by the cautious creak of the hinges as Chuck checked to see if she was decent enough for him to enter the room. "Um, I just came up here to escort you down to the foyer, you know since we're –"
"I know," she sneered. "I don't need you to spell it out for me."
"Blair –"
His eyes fell to her ring finger, and a small amount of the tension outlining his shoulders dissolved, loosening up his frame on a sigh.
"Listen," Blair said softly. "We need to be on the same page if we're going to do this. Nate might not notice something is off, but Eric surely will if we don't do this right."
"Anything you want," he agreed, leaning against the door frame with his hands shoved awkwardly into his pockets.
"We've always been…physical with each other," she swallowed, looking up at him with a hint of helplessness in her eyes. "I don't want…but it's –"
"You let me know what you're comfortable with. We can hold hands and touch each other, but I won't kiss you unless you initiate it."
His voice held a strange quality that she had never heard before, and somehow it hurt even more. They weren't lovers, they weren't friends, and they weren't strangers. In all of their time together, she never could've imagined that this was how it would end.
"Does that work for you?" he asked gruffly.
No, she wanted to scream, none of this works for me. Instead she nodded, "Yeah, that works."
A/N: I read Happy Place a few months ago, and I wanted to explore Chuck and Blair in a real exes-to-lovers scenarios. I know that this first chapter makes the fic seem pretty angsty, but I promise this is going to be a much more lighthearted fic than Come Rescue Me or Nothing But a Memory. While this one will have a little bit of angst here and there, I plan to focus more on bringing Chuck and Blair back together in a fun way instead of focusing on the pain.
Please let me know what you all think of this concept in the reviews. :)
