Title: Chrom's Mystery Date Exposed!
A/N: For the Of Mews and Men zine! I couldn't resist writing about my og FE husband, Chrom. Even in an AU, all he knows is suffering XD
Summary: It's election time in Ylisse and Chrom is running. Dear readers, I'm sure you're all aware of that poster 'accidentally' leaked out. The thirst trap of shirtless Chrom surrounded by cats, a soft smile on his face. It both filled and broke our hearts at the same time, leaving us with one question: who took that photo and just what is Chrom's relationship with them?
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As I am sure you are all aware, it is election time in Ylisse. It might be impossible to forget that fact, considering how many ads and signs are around. People with even the smallest stake in our country's politics are popped out of the woodwork, all ready to throw their hat in the ring. You can't even go for a walk without being bombarded by posters.
Especially that poster. I am sure you know the one I'm talking about. The one featuring front-runner Chrom in, shall we say, a delicate situation. Everyone has questions and I am here to get some answers. After all, it's the Mews and Men way, though I must say, most politicians never want a tabloid like ours covering them.
Fortunately, Chrom doesn't have such qualms with our magazine and has allowed me to interview him in his campaign's headquarters. It's the same location where his sister ran for office, time and time again, before the incident. I am sure it has a lot of symbolic meaning to him. We are seated in his office, just out of earshot for the hundreds of staffers outside. I recognize some faces from his sister's cabinet—the well-prepared Frederick, the genius Cordelia, and even the wise Phila are organizing this campaign. They were the pillars of Emmeryn's campaign. No doubt, it will end in victory if they are on board.
I set the recorder on the table between us. The room is rather sparsely decorated, with only our plastic chairs and his thrifty wooden table. It matches what I heard about Chrom's frugal living and how little he spends on perks. His campaign money sticks to his needs: advertising and outreach.
Chrom looks stiff. It's not a surprise, considering that he had never been in the limelight before. When I ask, he rubs his neck sheepishly and laughs. "Is it that obvious? I led as a soldier, but that's really different than this."
I can imagine. He had been a decent platoon leader in the army, thriving in the more physical and to the point environment of the Ylissean military. There had been a few rumours about property destruction, but most of it had been swept under the rug. That was also where he met his right-hand and best friend, the tactical genius Robin. Chrom's expression softens as he recalls those days. "I thought we'd fight together forever. I've never really been one to look to the future. That's changed now."
And the reason for this change? Well, the obvious: his sister's hospitalization. His eyes darken as he recalls those memories. "The day I received that call…I'll never forget it. I think I actually stopped breathing until Robin shook me out of it. I'm just glad she's alive."
It had been an assassination attempt by the neighbouring country, Plegia. Not that anyone has stepped forward to claim the attack, though President Gangrel hasn't hidden his anger over the failure. Whoever the assassin was, they'd just narrowly missed their target, and what would have been a fatal blow had become a survivable one. The entire country had mourned the loss of Emmeryn. She had been a popular leader and many of her ideals would have pushed Ylisse to a better place.
Fortunately, while she won't be the same, she still lives. The country now lives for her journey through physical therapy, celebrating all of her milestones.
"Emmeryn's walking again. Lissa always hovers nearby, worried, but she doesn't need more than her walking stick now." Chrom's expression brightens as he talks about his sisters. Clearly, family is very important to him. "The doctors said it won't be long before she can talk again."
Emmeryn has already made a few appearances at campaign rallies, garnering support for Chrom and his sympathetic cause. While she can't implement them herself, her ideals live on in her brother and many of her supporters naturally flock to him. As Chrom puts it, "when I saw that Emmeryn's work would disappear, I couldn't let that happen."
It is an admirable sentiment. A brother championing his sister's peaceful views, even after her assassination and the people's cries for vengeance. He's swayed the public's opinion from war back to peace.
"I couldn't do it without everyone's help, though." Another one of Chrom's charming traits is how humble he is. "Robin knows exactly what to do, Cordelia and Frederick make it happen, Maribelle has all the connections—it's a team effort, more than anything."
Speaking of things that he can't do alone, I see my chance and I take it. As fun as it is talking to him, I am here on a mission, after all. "Is there anyone you work with better than the others?"
"Oh, that's easy." He smiles brightly as he talks about his two main aides, Robin and Frederick. "Robin plans everything, and Frederick just makes it happen!"
It's not really a surprise he picked those two—Frederick and Chrom have been friends since childhood, while Chrom and Robin have been inseparable since they first met. While most of the campaign is made up of an assortment of long-time friends, those two are the closest.
Either of them could even potentially be his mysterious lover. I try a different tact to weasel the information out of him. "How about out of the office?"
"Well, for the door-to-door stuff, our outreach heads have been really helpful there. There's no one who knows the country better than Gaius and Panne is great at keeping things on track." It's no surprise Chrom left those two in charge of his grassroot level promoting. While Gaius's image has cleaned up recently, it isn't that long ago that when someone thought of Ylisse's shadowy side, they thought of a certain red-haired ex-thief.
Of course, Gaius has changed now. He no longer works on the black market for one. There have even been pictures of him at orphanages distributing candy. There's been a lot of speculation on why Gaius reformed, but nothing concrete.
Perhaps love is the reason?
"How about outside the campaign itself?" I ask, digging for more candidates.
It isn't a surprise when he talks about his sisters again. I imagine he'll make a great father, the way he gushes over them. "Lissa's actually stopped pranking these days! I thought maybe it was because Robin out-tricked her, but it's because she wants to help Emmeryn."
He definitely has the vibe of a man who would pull out a wallet full of photos of kids and grandkids if anyone asked about his family.
It is adorable and utterly useless.
"How about you?" With Chrom, the best tact is straightforwardness. I raise my pen, ready for the answer. "Are you dating anyone?"
Chrom flushes. "What?"
I'm sure all of our readers at Of Mews and Men are all aware of the rumours. Chrom is dating his mysterious aid Robin. Or perhaps he was caught kissing the long-adoring Cordelia. Or heading to a hotel with the dedicated Frederick. A steamy romance with the foreign Olivia or Lon'qu. Every tabloid has scrutinized Chrom's photos with his associates, trying to figure out just which one is behind the poster that's been posted on every street corner. No one's had this kind of front row seat to ask. Not until now.
"Are you dating anyone?" I repeat firmly. I owe our readers a duty and I will not let him weasel out of this.
Chrom resembles a tomato as he shakes his head. Entirely too flustered, he denies every allegation, his hands up as though to ward off the rumours. "No one! I, that—this is a professional environment. I would never do that here."
His wording is interesting to say the least, so I press him. "Does that mean there is someone you're thinking of? Or maybe that you were with before the campaign?"
He is still full of denials. I feel like I am bullying a teenage boy, but journalistic integrity pushes me to pull out my phone and show him a picture of the infamous posters. It's benign, as far as scandalous photos are, just an image of a shirtless Chrom surrounded by cats. Yet, the usually composed Chrom looked utterly relaxed as he smiled at the camera, and it didn't take long for everyone to speculate he was with his lover.
It also didn't take long for the poster to become a thirst trap. Whenever one's on a wall, it's immediately stolen. I can't blame anyone. Have you seen the abs on this man? Clearly his time with the military was well spent; even with his busy campaign schedule, Chrom keeps himself in shape.
Whoever this mystery person is, they were very lucky. Maybe the poster is their way of bragging.
Chrom shakes with embarrassment and anger as he grabs my phone. I can hear a crack. I hope he doesn't break it by accident. "Who—when—wait, that's the local shelter's cats…Lissa." His jaw drops. "She's pranking me."
Well, that explains a lot. His sister is a known prankster, appearing on a lot of comedy shows as she promotes her brother. It is a disappointing, normal answer. On the bright side, there won't be any broken hearts over it. Chrom is still available, after all. We can still fantasize that he'll appear at our doors, sweeping us off our feet.
When I get the phone back, there is a noticeable crack on it. Chrom apologizes profusely, the gentleman he is, and asks me to send the replacement bill to his office. This isn't the first time he's accidentally destroyed property, it seems—he is remarkably clumsy for such a strong man.
The interview ends all too soon. His grip as he shakes my hand is overly careful. I wonder what it feels like when he lets loose, what else those hands of his can do.
He's still single, perhaps I stand a chance to find out one day.
While there sadly is no scoop, I do have a consolation prize. Just as I leave the office, Frederick pulls me to the side and offers me a scrolled-up poster. A gift, he claims. To help promote the campaign.
It's a pristine version of the cat poster. When I question, Frederick explains. "A campaign is always in need of funding and promotion. So, why not do both at the same time?"
This amazing campaign strategy had come from Robin's devious mind. There is even a store where you can buy these posters, so no one needs to tear a used one off a fence anymore. It gets better: they have mugs, shirts, and even mousepads.
"It's been doing so well, we actually have a second collection out," Frederick adds as he hands me a box full of goodies. I obviously accept: there's just something relaxing about Chrom's smile. I have to smile back, no matter how crappy my day is. Even if you don't vote for him, you should check out the store.
The election is in a month. I hope this piece helps you with deciding your vote. I know where mine's going in next week's early voting.
I even circled the date on the Chrom calendar, so I won't forget.
