One night at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza…
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Freddy sat up and sighed. "WHAT, CHICA?"
"THE KITCHEN STAFF THREW OUT ALL THE PIZZA AND DIDN'T LEAVE ANY FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Scott help us," the bear grunted as he rose from his seat on the stage. That stupid bird always ruined the peace with her endless blathering about day-old pizza. He'd never tried the stuff but he heard from Foxy it tasted like the bottom of an endoskeleton foot. Imagery aside, he believed it wholly given Fazbear Entertainment's questionable business practices.
He entered the kitchen to find Chica on the ground, sobbing over an empty pizza box. You'd think they were being decommissioned with the extent of complaining she was doing. "Chica, get up," Freddy commanded with his baritone announcer voice.
Chica peeked up at him, oil staining the face of her animatronic casing. "Freddy, the pizza's all gone and we're never getting it baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack."
"They'll make more tomorrow, you fledgling idiot!" Freddy yelled. "I swear, you start the same thing every night about them throwing out that crappy pizza when you spend all day stuffing your gullet with it and causing a massive migraine for everyone else. Nobody wants to hear it, so if you have a problem then CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SHUT THE FLOCK UP!"
Bonnie peered in, curious about the yelling. "Is she bitching about the pizza again?"
"You deal with her, Bonnie," Freddy grunted. "I'ma go see what Foxy's doing. Way too late for this crap."
"Chica, get off the ground." Bonnie sighed. "You've pulled this stunt every night since Mike got the workers to leave a pizza out for you. Everyone's gotten sick of it."
"But how am I supposed to eat! If I don't eat I'll starve! I don't wanna starve so that's why I gotta eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
"WE ARE ROBOTS YOU LUNATIC WEDONTNEEDTOEAT screw it I'm bored of this. Come on now," Bonnie dragged her up and threw her over his shoulder, despite her frantic cries. "Damn stupid circuit-fried chicken," he mumbled as she pounded his shoulders and screamed at him to let her down.
Freddy and Foxy were seated at a table, playing cards and chatting to the tune of Chica's shouts. Bonnie unceremoniously dropped her into a chair and sat down across from Freddy. "Can you deal us in? I could use a distraction and I get the feeling this nimbus could use one too."
Foxy obliged him, all the while recounting a phony tale about his days on a pirate ship. "Yarrgh, he had me on the ropes. One wrong step and I'd be face to face with Davy Jones himself. He swung his sword, but I held strong. I blocked it with me trusty hook and spun him 'round in order to kick him in his fat, disease-riddled-"
"PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Chica sobbed with her head on the table.
"Blast it, lass! What's so blasted important about that processed filth that you have to carry on like a wee, unweaned baby?!" Foxy roared.
"Ignore her Foxy, she always does this." Freddy grumbled. "I wish we could have warned Mike so he'd know not to do something nice. Saved us a hell of a headache."
"Think we could get her replaced?" Bonnie asked half-jokingly. I hear there's a craze for hippo animatronics lately, maybe it's time to update the band."
"Aye," said Foxy, playing along. "The kiddies don't be wanting a crusty old chicken animatronic. They've got a hankering for something new, something fresh, something…clean. I wonder if we could call the company tomorrow and-"
"STOOOP!" Chica yelled. "You're trying to get rid of me, that's not nice! What did I ever do to you?"
Bonnie assumed a contemplative expression, comically acting as if he were rolling out a giant list. Freddy glared at him, sighing "They're only playing with you, Chica, simmer down already."
"I wonder if we could get her replaced after all," Foxy grumbled, much to Chica's chagrin. The banter continued throughout the night and well into the morning, with everyone so stressed out by the end they all forgot what they were arguing about in the first place.
Fin
