Chapter 4

The next morning, I woke up, standing….glancing around….looking here, looking there as I saw my young Sailor still asleep in her trundle bed. Last night, when she did come to bed….she was greeted by warm blankets, and the heat of the lamp and smell of brylcreem welcoming her in. Sailor slept for a long time….and didn't wake up once in the night. I smiled a kind smile, coming over to the trundle bed to give her a nice, wet kiss. When I did give her a nice kiss, she seemed to turn over a bit….sleeping again. I smiled a kind smile, sneaking past her and Nazz. Outside, it seemed as if the world was calm, fervent, and ready to sleep in. Good for them. I snuck outside to the porch, lighting a cigarette. I lit the tip so it would be fresh to smoke. While the tip glowed for a second, it soon became ashen, and white….singed with white, powdery ash that fell off of the edge. I smoked for a long time…letting the cigarette continue to glow. When I had released the cigarette from my lips, I blew out the remaining luster of smoke. "Mmm". I whispered to myself. "Smoking is so good". I took a deep breath, taking in the inhalation of smoke.

I tapped some ash from my cigarette, continuing the pattern. With every breath I took, I seemed to blow out more smoke. Soon, a cloud of smoke surrounded me as I took in a breath from my cigarette. I sat, tapping ash, and taking in the nicotine. The nicotine was something warm, and lucid, as well as fresh. I loved it….every aspect of it.

Sailor came outside, holding her sippy cup, and rubbing her eyes. Her eyes seemed to be red, and swollen. One eye was half-closed. It was true at this point….she had conjunctivitis…or Pink Eye.

"Good morning, darling". I said, kindly with gentle softness. "It is so good to see you….is everything going alright?". I smiled a kind smile, smoking my cigarette. "Not really….my throat is sore…and my eye is swollen". "I was also kind of coughing too". Sailor said. "I understand, darling". "Hmm….it seems to have gotten worse….I think perhaps it might be a stomach bug, or an eye bug". I said, kindly with softness. "Perhaps what could happen is the ingestion of antibiotics". "We could have some of those, and some Oat Milk for drinking". I suggested, kindly as I smoked my cigarette. "Ok". Sailor said, as she rubbed her eyes. "Try not to rub your eyes, sweet pea". "Sometimes, the germs that are carried can get inside and infect our eyes". I said, kindly with softness. "ok…I'll try not to". Sailor said. I smiled a kind smile, as I tapped more ash from the cigarette. "I know it hurts, doesn't it?". "Sometimes, my eyes hurt after I've been sick for a long time". I said, kindly with softness. "It doesn't hurt as much now….but last night it was pretty bad". Sailor said.

"I can only think so". I said, kindly with softness. "But I believe you'll be alright". "I promise you, you will be". "We just need a bit of hope, that's all". I smoked some of my cigarette.

"Let's go get your antibiotic, sweet pea". "I have it in the fridge beside some other things". I said, gently with kindness. Sailor nodded, as she walked inside, waiting patiently for her antibiotic. "Hmm…it should be here". "There it is…by Nazz's vitamins". I said, kindly. Sailor waited with kindness, and patience as she stood, looking upwards with vulnerable eyes. "Here we are, darling". "Some antibiotics, and some Oat Milk, prepared for us". "I know it will be alright". I said, gently with softness. I helped put some antibiotics on a spoon, feeding them to Sailor. "There you go, darling". "There you go….you're doing well". "I'm so proud of you". I said, kindly with softness. Sailor took her medicine, eating from the spoon, as she glanced up at me. "You're doing very well". I said, softly with gentleness. "Thank you". Sailor replied. When she had succeeded in taking her antibiotics, I gave her some Oat Milk.

"Here you are, darling". "I hope this bodes well for you". I said, softly with kindness. "I think perhaps it does…thank you". Sailor said, as she drank her Oat Milk. "you look so beautiful darling". "You look so heavenly, and radiant". I said, gently with softness. "Really…?". "Even when I have a swollen eye, and I look like this?". Sailor asked. "This is when you look the most beautiful". "When you are humbly going through it". I said, kindly with softness. "You have a peculiar way of looking at things". Sailor said, as we both laughed. "Indeed, I do". I replied, kindly.

"But you always look beautiful…in every aspect". I said, kindly. "Thank you". Sailor said. "I guess Pink Eye isn't that bad". "Well…it is bad….and it is painful, but it's made a little more enjoyable".

"It doesn't have to be that bad….if you think positive". I said, kindly. Sailor and I laughed. "Is that Oat Milk good?". I asked, gently with softness. "It tastes alright". Sailor replied. "I like it a lot".

"I love Oat Milk to be completely honest". I said, kindly with a gentle hum to my voice. "Oat Milk has all of the antioxidants, and vitamins of regular milk, without the gluten or casein that's in regular milk". "Oat Milk is such a good additive…I love drinking it". 'That, and Oat Ice cream". "Mmm, it is so good for eating, and making a pineapple ice cream smoothie". "Oat Milk is truly amazing, along with other oat products".

"It is….and my mom used to make cakes with Oat Milk". "They were the best cakes….the best we had". Sailor said, solemnly. "Your mom made the best cakes with Oat Milk". "That's where you got your love of Oat Milk". I said, kindly with softness. "It is…and I kind of….I guess the cakes were a big part of what made my parents so special". "We'd have people over every Sunday…and we ate cake….it was nice". Sailor said. "I'm sure it was, darling". I said, with softness and a deep, raspy, gentleness to my voice. "You miss your mom…hmm?".

I smoked my cigarette. "I do". Sailor said. "My mom was a main staple of who I was, and what I did throughout my life…I lost her, and I lost my best friend". "I lost the person I trusted most"

"That's essentially who your family was….they meant friendship to you….closeness…and trust". "Family meant love, and kindness". I said, kindly with softness. "They did….my sister the most". Sailor said. "My sister and I shared secrets, we got mad at each other, we fought sometimes…but I know we'd fight someone 10 times as hard for each other…we knew each other the best….we were the closest". "My sister and I did everything together….she was the one I trusted the most".

"Your sister meant the world to you…it seems". I whispered, kindly. "Yes". Sailor replied. "She did".

"Do you miss her the most?". I asked in a gentle whisper. "I do". Sailor said, sniffling. "I know you do, sweet pea". "Losing Ana was one of the hardest things you could endure". I whispered, gently. "It was". Sailor said. "But I've gotten better". "I've gotten to the point where I've learned to accept my flaws, and be true to myself". "I've learned to be less selfish, less judgemental, and more accepting of who was by my side". "I now know that life isn't about being linear…it's about being enjoyed, making an impact, and doing whatever I can to help others, and influence others in a positive way". "That's why I'm part of Rotaract club, and Youth Group….why I'm part of Choir, and Honor Society….that's why I'm planning on being an attorney when I grow up". "I want to have fun, I want to have a fulfilling life, and make an impact, just as my parents did for me". Sailor said, in her enlightening, cute wisdom. ;)

Sailor is someone I admire, truly. She is my heroine. I love her with all of my heart.

"I understand". I said, gently with softness. "I know you're doing great things…and I'm so proud of you….and the love you're expressing to those who truly do need it". "You are my hero, and my knightess in shining armor". "I always need you".

Sailor nodded. "Thank you". Sailor said. "I'm so happy you're beside me". "I always love you, and I wish the best for us….my darling". I said, kindly with softness. "Thank you". Sailor said. "but….I need my parents….there are some times when I really need them".

"I know you do, sweetheart". I said, kindly with softness. "But remember that they are not gone". "They are not away forever….they will always be beside you….they love you deeply…and they are with you….in every aspect of life". "You are their treasure".

"I know". Sailor said. "I am someone special". "My family is special to me, too…and…I don't know….I wish my family can come back". "Will my family come back?". There was innocence in Sailor's voice as she spoke. Sailor had a degree of childlike vulnerability, and fragility in her voice, and mindset that was susceptible to anything.

I decided to take Sailor's hands in mine while I put my cigarette aside. "I'm afraid mommy and daddy….Ana won't be coming back today". I whispered, kindly. I was careful and gentle in how I said it. "They are in heaven now…and even though we can't see them….they are among us". "They are in the air we breathe, the sunshine that shines down upon us, the grass that blows in the ground, they are in the prayers we say, the love we give, and the decisions we make". "They are still able to influence you even though they aren't there, physically". "Mommy and daddy….Ana are always there…..you just need to believe that they are….and they will be beside you". "They will never leave you….and they will never stop loving you….even in heaven". I whispered, kindly.

Sailor nodded, smiling. "I know….and I'm ok". "I am who I am because of my parents". "Because of who they need me to be". "They are always with me…and they will always be my family….no matter how far away they are". Sailor said.

"I understand, baby". I whispered, kindly. Sailor nodded, as she drank her Oat Milk. "You won't go anywhere….will you, Double D?". Sailor asked. "Sweetheart, I will always be beside you". "I will never leave you….because I love you". "I am not going anywhere". I assured, in a kind whisper. "I have always loved you…and I will always love you". I smiled a kind smile, kissing Sailor's cheeks. "Maybe it wasn't a good idea to give me a kiss when I have Pink Eye". Sailor said. "Hmm, perhaps you're right". "But at least we'll be bunkmates". I said, kindly with a light chuckle. "We'll be in a sickbed together". I smiled a kind smile, as Sailor and I laughed.

"I love you, darling". "I always have, and I always will". I whispered, kindly as I kissed Sailor's forehead. Sailor and I smiled.

"Now, I think it's time to go inside, and lay down for a bit, hmm?". I said, kindly. "The couch is ready with blankets and our favorite noodle soup, with pepper and salt". "Want to, sweet pea?".

Sailor nodded, as we headed inside. I pulled down the blankets to the couch, as we rested there….watching the television. Sailor watched T.V., while I rubbed vapor rub on her chest. We both watched T.V., seeing the different images, seeing the different daily talk shows, and the nuances of different talk show hosts that provided their commentary, and their spin on the local happenings around the world. Sailor felt the massage of my hands on her chest, as we applied vapor rub. "This feels nice, doesn't it?". I said, kindly. "It does". Sailor said. "I love rubbing oil on my chest, and on my feet, it feels nice during the nighttime". "And when I feel sick….I always have Nazz try it out for me". I said, kindly. "I like the vapor rub a lot…it feels nice". Sailor said.

"I love the oils when they're on my chest". "They're the best in that way". I said, kindly. "They truly are". Sailor said. I smiled a kind smile, as I rubbed some more vapor rub on Sailor's chest. "There you are, darling". "Fresh, and sweet as a daisy". I said, kindly.

"How is your soup?". I asked, with gentleness. "It's delicious…this is nice for being prepackaged". Sailor remarked. "I'm not a great cook when I'm under the weather…so sometimes, a box of noodles is all it takes in hindsight". I said, gently. "I love noodles more than anyone".

"I do, too". Sailor said. "They taste good, huh?". "A bit of taste for some haste". I said gently while Sailor and I laughed. Sailor laid down, watching the bit of television that was on, as she ate the rest of her soup….which proved very tasty with pepper…and drank her Oat Milk. We lazed the whole day….drinking Oat Milk, taking antibiotics, and watching television. It was as lazy as a day could get. We did that….until it was time for sleep. Sailor fell asleep….perhaps dreaming about her parents.

Sailor did sleep late into the day….until 8:00 that night, as the sun sank beneath the horizon. I yawned a bit…waking up to the tickles of a feminine hand that was as light as a feather, on my nose. "Mmm, who might that be…?". "Nazz….what are you plotting over there?". I asked, in a grumbling incantation as I woke up. "Nothing special, honey". "Just wanted to wake you up…that was all". Nazz said. She and I giggled, sharing a kiss. "Hey, have you had dinner yet?". Nazz asked in a whisper. "Mmmph, dinner?". "It's not even 5 yet….is it?". I asked, groggily. "It's 11:00 at night". Nazz said, as she chuckled. "I got home just in time to pick up a pizza at the gas station, and a few Oat Milks for Sailor".

"Mm, enlighten me". I said, seductively, sharing a kiss with Nazz. Nazz smiled a kind smile, while we brought the pizza into our bedroom, and watched television. Sailor still slept…downstairs. "How was work today, honey?". I asked, as I sank my teeth into some pizza. "It was alright for work". "It wasn't as I expected….at all". "There were a few microdissections, there was a lobotomy, and a triple Endoscopy". "It was a lot to take on for one person". Nazz said. "I'm sure it was….but my vacation is over soon". "I'll come in the day after tomorrow, and help". I said, kindly.

"Perchance". Nazz replied, as we both laughed. "Nothing wrong with that….help can't be a burdensome thing….can it?". I asked. "No…but, I don't think we've had your license renewed". Nazz stated. "We haven't…but it still counts". I said. We both laughed, eating our pizza, watching television….as soda was drunken. Who knows what the past tense of that word is. "Mm, good to have you back, darling". "Now that we are awake…..would you like to….see my dirty side…..?". "If you wish to….if you're tired, it's completely alright". I said, alluringly, maybe….making the last part a bit awkward for wear.

"No, it's ok". "Punish me…dirty man". Nazz said, seductively, as we both laughed….burping while we shared a kiss. We both laid down….I slid my hand under her nighty, she kissed my lips….and we….made love. Anything beyond that is not in my best interest to share openly. In essence, it was a good night. We had a wonderful time….and anything beyond that….well, it just wouldn't be the same as the amazing life I have now. Adieu to you, and goodnight.