"I love you."
When Corrin said those three words to the man she has known as her brother for most of her life, she would not have thought that she could be so homesick for the loneliness and uncertainty of the Winter Fortress, for the vain, expectant glimmer of something to come beyond the forest, far away in the horizon.
Finally, her captivity ended. Her father has decided on a use for her, in spite of the protest of her siblings and her own. An alliance with the minor kingdoms of the south had to be secured, and she was the perfect bargaining chip to be exchanged away.
The two of them could not be together. There was no way, it was almost aggressive to the sensibility. She is about to be married to someone she did not love. As a result of this arranged marriage, she would be granted the freedom she has longed for since she could remember, but this will cost her the love of her life.
It was the eve of the wedding ceremony. The celebration could be heard from far away, in the streets of Windmere. The servants had retired, resting for the big day to come, and the nobles waited patiently their opportunity to shine. This is the last time she would ever see Xander, and the two of them were both painfully aware of that.
It was customary for the siblings of the bride to visit her overnight before her wedding, after all. Who would shame a pair of siblings for saying their goodbyes in private? Who would shame a caring older brother, supporting his sister in a new and strange journey to a life completely unknown?
What a big joke.
There was a fireplace to heat the bridal room, but what really staved the cold away was the flame that roared in their hearts. There was a decent, socially appropriate distance between them on the sofa, the two staring at the cracking of the fire without saying any word. There was no need to speak, this silence said it all.
They had not touched, not a handshake, a hug or a kiss, but Corrin is longing for his presence, for the reassurance. Especially now, it was very difficult to resist the urge to hug him and cry in his arms, to kiss him one last time and for the first time, to have him, to spend the night together. Oh, how much she wanted to be his, even just one night was enough. Even for a night, she is willing to belong to him.
Alas, if their souls and bodies listen to this desire they feel for each other, she would never be able to let go. She is going to get married tomorrow, the Crown Prince is going to escort her to the altar. He was going to see her marry another man.
Corrin felt like her soul was splitting in two. Xander had been with her for as long as she could remember. She loved him since her earliest memory, encased on the thick walls of that lonely fortress. It was as if he was a part of her, and, when she thought that she is going to lose him, it brought upon her a lacerating pain, a despair she does not know how to deal with.
She is getting married tomorrow, he is not the one she is marrying. She is going to marry a man she barely even knows and become the queen of a country she understands nothing about, but she has been assured she is to do as she pleases with her time there. She would be free to come and go, to see people and do things. Is that not what she wanted all along? Why is she hesitating now, why did it seem like the biggest sin she had ever committed?
If Corrin did not marry this man, if she kicks up a fuss and refuses to go along with it now, she would probably be confined back to the Winter Fortress as punishment, probably never to see light of day again. There, however, her siblings have always come to see her. She and Xander could still meet, like in all those years.
Alas, it could never be more than that. They could not be lovers, they could not be married at all. The only way she could be with the Crown Prince of Nohr was to be born again, into a different family, into the right position. Which is why her declaration of love tastes like sand in her mouth, since the only love he could ever accept was the fraternal sort.
Her eyes met his, her whole body was trembling and his hand found her face to caress her cheek gently. She gave herself up to his touch, her skin was burning under his touch. She noticed that his hands were shaking, too.
Xander looked at her. She could not take it anymore, she could not stand to be so close to him, because if she hugged him, if she surrendered to his warmth, she would not be able to leave at all. He was her home and she is about to lose him.
She is his home, the person he feels most comfortable with in the whole world, and his muscles trembled with the knowledge that he would take her to marry a man. Just like that, hand in hand.
Corrin, his sister. Corrin, the woman he loved.
More than anything, he just wanted to hug her one last time, but he knew that if he had put himself in her arms, he would not have the strength to let her go.
The clock ticked endlessly on the mantlepiece. The night would pass them by in this rhythm, with tears and trembling hands, without either of them ever muttering a word. Corrin and Xander could not be together in this world, and therefore, for them, everything else was of no consequence.
