Chapter 3: A Heavy Burden Lifted
Needing time to think, Marinette decided to take the long way home. She didn't really have plans tonight besides a late night patrol with Chat Noir, but practice wouldn't affect that and all her school work was caught up.
Nothing was stopping her from saying yes to Luka's invitation except fear that history would repeat itself. Then again, Adrien had always made it clear that she was just a good friend, but Luka seemed interested in more. She decided to wait until Luka clearly tells her that he wants to be in a relationship before she will let herself consider exploring that mental path.
The various futures ranging from crushing heartbreak to blissful happiness played in her mind in a confusing loop. Realizing that her old habits were coming back to haunt her, she ended that train of thought immediately. No, she needed to not move from one crush to another. There was plenty of time for that later and after all she was only sixteen. Her parents are always telling her that she is still young and has her whole life ahead of her, but that idea just seemed too hard to grasp before now. She's done with crushes, at least for a little while.
Once home she cheerfully greeted her parents, giving each a hug. The bakery was fairly busy so she took a moment to help out with the customers and caught up on necessary chores in the kitchen before heading up to her room.
Crawling up the ladder and through her trap door, she finally reached her own personal space only to realize that she is surrounded again. Dozens of Adriens watched Marinette as she looked around her room, and a soft sigh escapes her lips. Time to move on.
Tikki floated out of hiding as soon as the trap door closed, her big eyes watching her chosen with curiosity. She wondered how to best talk to Marinette about what happened, but before she could think of the words to say, the young girl began to silently remove picture after picture of Adrien from her walls. The kwami decided to simply watch and wait, knowing that Marinette will speak when ready.
Each picture removed was a small weight lifted off her heart that she didn't even know she carried. One by one, they landed in a small box. She lifted up her mattress and begins to realize just how deep the infatuation ran. Her mind wandered to what she would do if she found out someone had all her pictures up all over their room, her schedule hung from the wall and desktop as a collage of her surrounded by hearts. Well, someone really might have that with Ladybug, but not Marinette.
First of all, that someone would be sure to discover that she was Ladybug so that was nerve-wracking enough. Thinking about it, she realized she would be more likely to avoid that hypothetical person than be flattered by the attention. Maybe that's why it was never meant to be.
Once she was finished gathering her entire collection, she put the lid on gently. For the first time since getting home, she felt a small smile tug on her lips and it was much easier to breathe. Looking around at her almost bare walls, a few pictures still remained. However, they are very different. Some even contained Adrien with others, but no more than any of her other friends and all of them are fond memories of time together with her classmates. She changed her desktop image to a picture of herself as Ladybug and Chat Noir hanging out and looking over the Parisian night. It was such a great image that some random fan created and every time she saw it, she felt like she could feel the chill of night, smell the deliciousness of food cooking at the street cafe, hear her chaton make one of his cheesy puns and relax in a sense of freedom that came with flying through the sky.
With everything packed away, there was no more need to stress over Adrien and confess her feelings. While not done with all the changes she would need to make tonight, the biggest reminders of her not-so-secret crush were hidden safely away. She never before realized how much his presence weighed on her mind from constantly being aware of his schedule, knowing all his little quirks, fearful that he would discover her love and anxiety over how to tell him in a way that didn't come across as creepy. In giving up her infatuation, she was also able to give up all that stress and anxiety. It was liberating. She looked around, not seeing the absence of her crush, but rather an empty canvas ready for her to build new memories. Tucked beside her computer is the little beaded lucky charm Adrien gave her two years ago for her fourteenth birthday.
"Tikki?" she asked, looking around as she grabbed the little charm and cradled it fondly. The small kwami floated up to her, touching her cheek gently with her small hand smiling wide.
"I am so proud of you, Marinette." Validation filled the teen's heart as her best friend and the one who knows her best spoke. After all, she cared deeply about what Tikki thinks and valued her opinion.
"Thanks, Tikki. I think I'm going to just take a break for a while. My heart needs time to heal without a boy distracting me." Her fingers traced the familiar little beads as she always did, but instead of a longing for affection, she found that they remind her of what was real: their friendship. She decided that these will stay out. After all, she doesn't want to erase Adrian from her life. Marinette simply needed to find a balance.
"I think that is wise. You need to be happy on your own before you move on." Tikki was bursting with pride at her chosen's choice. After all, she knew the obsession itself was unhealthy and she thought Marinette was finally seeing that as well. Secretly, she hoped this would open the door for Ladybug to consider Chat Noir, but either way it is a step in the right direction.
"What about tonight, Marinette?" The boy was good to her and Tikki recognizes it and he would be a good friend. As long as Marinette doesn't let herself spiral into another unhealthy infatuation.
"I think I should go?" A question rang in her voice, asking her friend's opinion. Marinette hesitated before continuing after Tikki nodded. "I like Luka and he has proven to be a good friend. He's fun to be around and I don't feel pressure to be anyone but myself around him."
She reached into her pocket, pulling out the slip of paper that Luka gave her earlier. It's crinkled up from sitting in her pocket, but she smoothed it out gently to read his note.
I hope to see you tonight
Following the short message was an address and his phone number.
What a good friend.
Marinette pulls out her phone and adds his information as a new contact before shooting him a text message.
"I'll be there. - Marinette"
