Title: Waiting for the End
Author: Arldetta
Spoilers: Episode ten-ish, kinda
Rating: PG-13
Summary: This is a longer version of the scene between Yeon and Rang that starts in the bar and continues. This is a continuation of my head canon that started with "And What of Lee Rang?" I have one more in this arc to add to the final episode.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tale of the Nine Tailed, or any of the characters. I can only say they made some really good characters and storylines and left enough wiggle room for me to play in. ;)
Author's note: So, this series really got the plot bunnies flowing. Again, I liked that Yeon showed up and was finally willing to help, I just thought that in order to convince Hae-ryong that they were who they were, there needed to be a much deeper conversation between them. In addition I also felt that some of their conversation would bleed over into the show they put on when they switched. So this is what my brain came up with, hope you like it. And as always, I am once and always an angst writer, you have been warned. (tissues may be needed) On a secondary note, the title is from Linkin Park's song of the same name. I felt it appropriate. Go check out the lyrics, I could see this on Rang's playlist. LOL In fact there were a few Linkin Park songs that I felt would work. They are worth a listen. Anyway, please enjoy. Read and review if you have a moment. Thanks!
-t-o-t-n-t-
How many was it now? 6? 10? 20? He scoffed. Did it even matter? There wasn't enough alcohol in the world able to numb a dead heart. He glanced at his watch. 6 am. 12 hours left.
Funny. He had always balked death. Proclaimed welcoming it with open arms. Imagined celebrating the end, surrounded by people, music, drinking, laughter. Mocking death.
But now when it was truly upon him, the thought of such frivolity churned his stomach. Instead he had pushed the only people he cared about away. He didn't want them to see his ultimate end. It wouldn't be in a glamorous battle. Who knows, it might still be pain filled. He didn't know. It's not like he's ever tried anything like this before.
He swirled the amber liquid around the crystal. The bright pink in the corner of his eye drew his attention once more. Why had Yeon bothered? Why did he even care? That whole Eodok Sini incident brought the first act of kindness he had received from his brother in centuries. Why did it take so long?
Rang swallowed, hoping to relieve the tightening in his chest. He closed his eyes, trying not to think, trying not to feel. After a few more moments, he opened his eyes, looked at the swirling amber, then slowly placed the glass back on the counter.
He made up his mind. Death would come, that was certain. What did it matter if he waited for it here or in the comfort of his own home? Sliding off the stool, he easily fell into the slow gait of a dead man walking. Ironically though, it didn't last very long. A figure blocked his path. And when his eyes registered what he was seeing, and his emotions too raw to hide the surprise from his expression, Rang asked, "Why are you here?"
"Sorry," was all he could say. Yeon had called Yuri to help him find his brother. She gave him the addresses of a few bars they frequented. He had planned on bursting in, declaring that he would save his brother and defeat Imugi! He had even rushed through the building intending on this big dramatic entrance. But the first address proved false and empty. This was the second stop so he was little more hesitant this time. It worked in his favor.
Not only could he see his brother through his human eyes, but he could also view the fox within. Now he understood why Hyunuoing had called him. The blaze of fire that raged around his passionate brother was a barely flickering candle. He was mesmerized by the change. Pain pierced his heart. Hyunuoing was right, he had been stupid.
Rang had closed the gap between them. Yeon, continued, "I was told you were one of the hostages. I didn't know you were about to die." Something Yeon couldn't name passed in those deep brown eyes and it made him sad. Slowly, he reached out to pat that young face, offering an olive branch. "Let's live. You and I."
Rang's gaze dropped, a shuddering breath passed through him, and his posture deflated. His hyung had no idea what he was talking about. "No matter what I do, I can't escape the contract."
"You can," Yeon countered with conviction.
And for the first time since his arrival, Yeon saw a flash of hope in those dark eyes. "How?"
"Switch with me. And take me like he wants."
Rang's gaze snapped down to the side with a click of his tongue. "I won't hand you over to them."
Yeon smiled at his little brother's adamant refusal. He teased, "That's the beauty, I will be handing you over to them."
"Aish, punk, that will never work. You don't even like transforming and there is no way you could convince them you were me."
"Why not? All I have to do is frown, skulk and be angry at times."
"Bastard. Is that all you think of me? You have no idea who I am or what I've been through."
"True, but maybe it's time we talk about it." The mountain god grabbed the younger man's shoulders, locking gazes as he offered an inviting, gentle smile. And waited.
For several minutes, Rang's eyes searched Yeon's face for something he couldn't quite explain. In the end, he relented. As he knew he would. "Aish, fine. But not here."
Yeon grinned. "Kadja." He wrapped his arm around his brother and led him out.
-t-o-t-n-t-
They were on their way back to Yeon's place. The group had decided to head home when he left to meet Hyunuoing.
Silence had filled the space between them. Rang stared out blankly as the lights drifted by. Yeon would glance at his brother periodically, trying to figure out how things had gone so wrong between them. And how the sweet child that couldn't walk past a wounded puppy had turned into the killer beside him. Afraid of his own thoughts and where they would lead, he eventually cleared his throat, and broached a safer subject weighing on his mind. "Did you happen to find out where the Chinese Lantern tree is?"
Rang's head snapped back, a look of shock on his face for a moment before he allowed anger to slip in, "Bastard. I should have known. Is that all I am to you? A way to save that woman and abandon me again?" He choked on the words, turning away, hoping to hide the raw emotion bubbling up.
"Rang-ah, I never aba-"
"Don't! Don't lie to me anymore. Don't pretend I'm more to you than a means to an end." Rang desperately wanted to escape. His heart couldn't take much more of this. He whispered to himself. "I should have known better."
Yeon watched as his brother seemed to sink further away from him. Damn, how did he keep messing things up between them? Cautiously, he reached out to comfort the younger man, "Rang-ah." He never connected.
"Don't touch me!" he snapped.
Yeon withdrew. They rode in silence for a few more agonizing minutes.
Oddly, it was Rang who braved the quiet, still tucked into his corner of the car. A shuddering breath escaped him. "Lee Yeon, what am I really to you?"
"Where did it get twisted again? Didn't I come save you from the Ah Gwi forest? Am I not here now? How do you not see?"
"Answer me. What am I ?"
Sighing deeply, Yeon stated, "Family." At the younger's doubtful expression. "You are born with our father's blood. Our father rarely spoke words, and even less were kind. So back then, you may have put me on a flower bed, but don't be mistaken and think that flower-like words would come out of my mouth. I'm sick of you whining even after getting old."
Rang scoffed, not surprised, "You are so cruel to me. But you are so generous to that woman."
"Of course, she is stronger than you. She doesn't whine about her tragic past."
"You know nothing of my past," the strained words came out barely above a whisper. Rang turned away again. He was tired. So very tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of hoping. Tired of living. Tired of hating all the time. All he had ever wanted was to feel safe and loved. He had had that once, so many years ago, and for so short a time. Without realizing he was saying the words out loud, he confessed, "It's strange. You have never been a kind brother to me. But in my eyes you were shining. You looked perfect. I wanted to be like you." With a sign, he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool glass.
They finished the drive in silence. Yeon started to ponder the enigma of his brother.
-t-o-t-n-t-
Yeon made his way inside, settling down in a chair in his living room. Rang seemed to have followed on automatic, not really seeing. He stood there, lost in thought. Yeon watched him for some minutes, before commanding, "Come sit. Let's talk about this contract then."
Slowly, Rang seemed to recognize the world around him and frowned. "The contract is for either your heart or my life. Even if we switch places, the outcome is the same. One of us dies. Would it not be better to just let me go?"
"No!" Yeon sprang from his seat, crossed the distance between them and grabbed his brother's shoulders, forcing them to face each other. "No, dammit! What happened to you? How could you give up on life like this? What happened to the happy child that couldn't pass by a puppy?"
"You think your woman's past is tragic? You know nothing of tragic! Nothing of pain, of hopelessness. You told me that your sword never misses. Why did it that day? Guilt? Duty? Family? I wish you would have just killed me then. If you had any love in your heart for me, you should have just ended it! You didn't spare me, you condemned me to hell!" Rang broke his brother's hold, staggered back into a wall, then slowly slid to the floor. Hot, stinging tears streamed down his face, while choking sobs racked his body and he drew his knees up and wrapped them in a tight hold.
Yeon crouched in front of his brother. He carefully went to put a hand on his knee, but Rang recoiled as if burned, then shrunk further back. "Rang-ah," he breathed. "I could never kill you."
"Then as you said, you should have never saved me in the first place. You shouldn't have given me hope!" Anger filled him, remembering those hurtful words not long ago at the restaurant. He threw a haphazard punch at the older man. Yeon easily deflected it. Instead, Rang clutched on to the fabric of Yean's shirt like a lifeline. "Why did you have to show me what freedom was like? What a family could be? What love is?"
"Rang, I don't understand. What are you talking about?"
The younger man searched that gaze for a moment. Nodding, he crumbled. His hands released the fabric and fell to the floor supporting him. Hands pressing into the tile, turning his knuckles white. "No, I doubt you would. You never bothered to ask, did you? You left and didn't look back." For a moment Rang turned inward, searching and deciding. "Fine. I'll tell you. I will tell you everything that you didn't want to know when you abandoned the mountain."
Resigning himself to reveal what had been eating away at him for centuries, Rang leaned back, brought his knees up again and rested his forearms on them. "You know of the fire, right? But it wasn't just a fire. Once the humans figured out that the mountain god had left, they saw opportunity. Not just to get rid of us, but to take us and bend us to fit their needs. The fires drove us to their traps. Many were captured. They were subjected to all kinds of horrors. The lucky ones were put in zoos or private collections. Many were tortured and abused." Rang pulled his knees in tighter.
Yeon watched his brother carefully as he painted a picture of the time they were apart. It didn't take a genius to figure out how much this affected his brother. And when he tried to make himself even smaller as he spoke of torture, Yeon quickly put the pieces together. "Were you captured?"
Rang couldn't meet the man's imploring gaze. Instead he pressed on with the story. "I tried to save as many as I could. I wasn't always successful. I was still too young and didn't have the strength. For years, the only touch I knew was pain. Being a half breed, they held a special hatred for me. I still don't know how or why I survived. The only thing I could cling to was my own hate. Hate for humans. Hate for you for leaving us behind. At one time, I had hoped that you would rescue me. But then I remembered, there is no salvation for someone who doesn't save himself. Then I knew, you would never come for me.
"When I finally managed to escape, all I had was rage and anger and pain. I wanted to make them suffer. I wanted revenge on the ones who took everything from me. So I started hunting them all down. I had just finished with the village when you found me."
Rang looked up then, locked gazes. Choking on the words, he said, "Do you have any idea of how I felt when I saw you again after so many years? I thought you might be dead. The relief of seeing you made my legs weak. My brother had finally come." He sobbed. "But instead of embracing me. Telling me that I was safe again. He draws his sword. And condemns me to death. You couldn't even hold me while I die!" He screams, releasing all the pain in his heart.
"You left me for dead. Why couldn't you have finished it?!" He wales. After a moment, an eerie calm settled over him. "Then he came. He smelled as dead as me. He saved my life. But it would no longer be my life. I was his. I was a prisoner again, bound by contract. If only it was a normal contract. Most contracts are with humans that have but one life. This man stole lives. Mine was no different. He was immortal. My debt was his to hold until he chose to release me. But he was clever and found ways to keep me bound, changed the terms constantly. And there was nothing I could do about it.
"If he wanted something, I had to fetch it. If he wanted someone dead, I would have to kill it. He stole a piece of my soul with each command. You think me evil. I am what he made me. He didn't always keep me at his side. He allowed me the sense of freedom some times. I even managed to get close to some. It was all a joke. Just as I started to care, he would pull me back. I fought against it once." A horrible, sickening laugh escaped him. "It was for nothing. He took them all, made them into the Chinese Lantern flowers. He would then bring me to the brink of death only to revive me with their lives." His whole body trembled from the heartache threatening to rip him apart. He could still remember their lives playing out in his mind as he absorbed their essence. Constant nightmares, reminders of the fate of those who dared care for him. "Even now, he won't let me die. Even if we were to switch, he would change the terms and I would still be his.
"I'm even a failure of a bad guy," a mix between a laugh and a sob escaped him. "I tried so hard, so many times to either anger you or warn you enough to take action. It didn't work. I never wanted it to come to this. I knew they would use the contract in the end to try to get you. I knew I would never be able to hand you over. I begged you. I gave you the sword to end it. I wanted you to save me from this ultimatum. I couldn't even convince you of the threat of keeping me alive. A failure. On that rooftop, did you not think it strange that I didn't even bother to defend myself when you struck?"
Slowly, Rang's eyes drifted up to Yeon's. For a brief instant he saw the tears on his brother's face, but couldn't understand them. Instead, he continued. "Don't you see? I'm not worth it. There's nothing I can offer this world. And no matter how hard I have tried to hate you all these years, all I've ever wanted was my brother back. Hyung, don't throw your life away. Don't waste your efforts on me. Go save your woman and her parents. I'm so tired, hyung. Let me go."
Yeon fell back on his rump, barely holding the sobs back. He watched his brother slump to the floor, all energy spent. For the first time in centuries, he was seeing his brother for the first time. How arrogant the mountain god was? It's true. He never bothered to ask. Never wanted to know the hardships others faced when he left the mountain. How dare he say he never abandoned him?! He may not have abandoned him in his heart, but he didn't save him or protect him either.
This was so much to process. So much to take in. So much his brother kept bottled inside. And once the levee broke, it all came flooding out. And for the first time, he hated himself. He took his brother at face value. Allowing Rang's apparent anger to be a shield for them both to avoid going deeper. And it was all just a facade. A face full of hate, a mask to hide the little hurt boy still inside. And that is what his brother was, a body that had aged but a little boy trapped inside that was never allowed to grow up.
A tragic past? Ji Ah had only lived mere decades without the love of her parents. Rang had lived centuries trapped, oppressed and alone. Beaten down and made to feel worthless. It may have taken over five centuries, but Yeon would not let his brother live like that anymore.
Scrambling around, he quickly scooped the half breed up into his arms, sitting on the floor, he carefully brushed the bangs away from his face. Pain shot through his heart when the boy flinched even at that simple gesture. "You are worth it, Lee Rang. You deserve to live free. You deserve to be my family. You are worth my effort, dongsaeng. And I'm so sorry for abandoning you on that mountain. For not putting more effort into finding you after the fire. I should have questioned the order for your death. I should have asked you why. I should have fought for you. I'm so sorry." His shirt was soaked with his brother's tears. He had wronged his little brother. But no more.
He pushed Rang up, holding his face, encouraging him to look him in the eye. When the sparkling gaze managed to look up, Yeon declared, "Know this, dongsaeng, I never regretted saving you. I am sorry that I hurt you. Beside Ah Eum, you were the brightest light in my life. I can't imagine a world without you in it. So don't give up yet. I'm sorry for being so late, but I will save you, Lee Rang."
Words so long in coming, were a balm to a wounded soul. Rang bowed his head and fell into Yeon's chest. Yeon pulled him close, kissing his head. The brothers stayed like that for some time, allowing the emotions to dissipate naturally.
Eventually, they picked themselves off the floor and worked out the solution to the contract. Rang was still unsure but he would trust his hyung. And if things went south, he could only hope his brother would survive. But if things went right, Rang would be free and he would finally have his brother back. It was all he ever hoped for.
-t-o-t-n-t-
So I hope it made sense. As I was searching the show for specifics, I came across the rooftop scene again and realized how badly Rang asked for death. I would even venture to say he welcomed it, and would have been relieved if Yeon had not turned the blade around. It's really a heart breaking scene. Although I realized then that he was an adult by the time he took out the village, but he was just a child after the fire when he had to kill Blackie, so what happened during all that time. Hence my head cannon had to fill in some blanks, that were obviously not on the happy side. Hope you don't mind. As always, I appreciate you taking the time to read. A review would also be a wonderful surprise. I have one last one more story in this arc coming so keep an eye out for that. Thanks to the wonderful actors, especially Lee Dong-wook and Kim Beom for bringing these characters to life! Thanks all!
