As soon as Ennis had vanished for his class with Zatis, a guard appeared to lead Taris to Chief Voltis. He didn't tell him why the most powerful ape of the North wanted to see a mere human, of course, but Taris thought that he knew the reason, and it made him wary. He hadn't seen his master's father since the day he had woken up in Laisa's hospital, but he remembered him as stern and forbidding, able to discard a human's life in a heartbeat if he thought the human to be dangerous... or useless.
He wondered what use Voltis had in mind for him now.
The guard led him to a wide, bare room that was dominated by a massive desk, which in turn was dominated by the gaunt, severe ape signing a scroll.
Several scrolls. Taris folded his hands behind his back and waited.
"I understand you met my son's mother today," Voltis said without looking up. His quill was moving across the scroll in swift, sure strokes, the scratching of the nib the only sound in the room for a moment.
"That... yes, vetes," Taris said slowly. "She seemed to have been waiting for Master Ennis in a grove he often visited when he was younger."
"Whose idea was it to go there?" Voltis set the scroll aside and reached for another.
"It was Master Ennis' idea, vetes," Taris said, hoping this piece of information wouldn't spell trouble for his young master. "He chose this place because it was easily accessible. He had been warned by Dr. Ropal not to overstrain me." For some reason, he suddenly felt guilty, as if his condition had been responsible for a meeting the chief apparently disapproved of.
"I see. What did he and Aelia talk about?"
"Should... shouldn't you ask Master Ennis about that?" He was treading on dangerous ground now - a human couldn't refuse an ape's command, ever.
Voltis' quill stilled on the scroll. "I'm asking you, Taris," he said calmly, without the slightest hint of a threat.
But then the threat was always implied, anyway.
Taris drew a cautious breath. "You're asking me to spy on your own son for you, vetes. Doesn't that strike you as... as..." He desperately cast for a word that wouldn't anger the chief... well, more than he probably had already angered him. "... unusual?"
Voltis laid scroll and quill aside and regarded him for a long, uncomfortable moment. "You are aware that I am your actual master, Taris?" he asked mildly. "Ennis is too young to legally own anything, including you."
"You gave me to him, though, vetes," Taris insisted, silently cursing his strange stubbornness that didn't allow him to simply bow to Voltis' demand. "And I'd betray his trust if I talked behind his back, even... even to you. Even though you're my master... technically."
"Technically?" Voltis leaned back in his seat with a smile. Taris didn't feel relieved at the ape's amusement - it could still end with a whipping for him, or worse.
But Voltis didn't look as if he'd call the guards in the next moment. His gaze rested thoughtfully on him, as if Taris had only now become more than a piece of talking furniture.
"How do you two spend your time when you're not outside?" he asked, and Taris blinked at the sudden change of subject.
"We... talk... about the machines I build for him..." They talked about the sky and the stars a lot, too, but for some reason, Taris was shy to reveal that to the ape across from him. He didn't want to deal with raised eyebrows and inquiries about his motives. Wastes, he didn't know himself why the stars fascinated him so - or how he knew names for them that Ennis had never heard of before... and Zatis hadn't, either.
"Yes, he's talking about nothing else, lately," Voltis mused. "If anything, you've awakened an interest in engineering in him, Taris. I had actually hoped to interest him in politics, but I suppose one field of interest is better than none at all... or bird watching."
Taris dipped his head to hide a smile. "I've been told that this was more Master Zatis' hobbyhorse."
Voltis huffed a laugh. "It is. And I was never certain if Ennis was simply indulging his old teacher, or if the obsession had indeed infected him. But now I'm relieved to know that the boy was just being kind."
"Kind he is," Taris said softly.
"Do you have offspring, Taris?" Voltis asked, his gaze still trained steadily on him.
Taris opened his mouth to remind him that he wouldn't know if he did, but a strange sensation choked his voice - a soreness behind his breastbone, as if his heart had rubbed itself raw against it. He was surprised at that physical pain, so unconnected to anything else... except maybe to Voltis' question. Did he have children? Dehni had claimed so. A son and a daughter.
"If I had children, I don't remember them," he finally forced out. "They're gone, like everything else." They're gone... the words filled him with a melancholy he couldn't explain any more than he could explain the pain in his chest.
"You'd be a doting father, I'd wager," Voltis said without any hint of sarcasm. "If children aren't in your past, maybe they'll be in your future."
"I don't wish to sire children, vetes," Taris said quickly. Voltis' words filled him with dread, a feeling as intense as the pain a moment ago, and just as inexplicable.
His master - and Taris now felt acutely that Voltis wasn't just technically his master, but in a very real, frightening sense owned his life and his body, and everything his body could do - raised his brows at that outburst. "You're a strange specimen, then - humans procreate rather enthusiastically. I heard they introduced a castration program in the South now because of it."
He briskly leaned forward, and Taris flinched at the sudden movement. "Be that as it may," Voltis said, "the fact remains that you're not Ennis' father, Taris. It's not your place to decide which information to withhold - information that could put my son in danger."
"You think his own mother is a danger to him?" Taris kept his voice neutral, but the memory of the smiling chimp woman in her spotted green cloak didn't spark alarm in him. She had just been a mother, yearning to see her child. How could anyone not relate to that anguish?
"I don't need to explain my reasons," Voltis said with a hint of steel in his voice. "But seeing how devoted you are to my son, I'm willing to make an exception today. My wife has a forceful personality, she's very... engaging; maybe because she feels very strongly about certain ideas." He smiled, but his eyes were fierce. "And since Aelia's mind is as strong as her emotions, it is able to simultaneously hold on to ideas that are mutually exclusive."
That sounded like a description of an unhinged mind, but the woman hadn't sounded delusional or raving. Well, except for the sudden intensity when she had praised death...
"Ennis is young and impressionable," Voltis continued, "and he's still longing for his mother, but now he's old enough for her to try and draw him to her side - and I won't allow that. And if I suspect that you're interfering in this matter..."
"I don't wish for Master Ennis to be harmed in any way," Taris assured him, a wave of protectiveness for his young master welling up inside him. It was true, he didn't know anything about Master Ennis' mother; and if his master's own father was so suspicious of her, he probably had a good reason for it.
And a human shouldn't try to be smarter than an ape, anyway.
Voltis nodded. "So what did she want from him?"
"She told him she wanted to give him his birthday present in person, and she... well, disapproved of him having a, a pet human." Taris smiled wryly at the memory, and at his own reaction. He was still amazed that nobody had disciplined him for his insolence of talking back to an ape.
Voltis snorted quietly. "Of course she would."
"She was very empathetic about the importance of freedom for humans, even at the price of one's own life," Taris added. "She called death a gift. Master Ennis disagreed, though."
"He's very fond of you," Voltis remarked. "But Aelia won't give up so easily. And Ennis is... he's too soft for this world."
"He doesn't just miss his mother," Taris said softly. "He also yearns for his father."
"If Aelia shows up again, you will inform me without delay." Voltis voice was sharp and dry, and Taris found himself snapping to attention as if by reflex.
Human and ape stared at each other for an endless moment.
"You truly don't remember anything about your past?" Voltis asked finally.
"No, vetes."
The ape nodded thoughtfully. "That will be all, then."
Taris bowed and left, but he didn't feel relief when he closed the door behind him. He wondered what Voltis had seen in him that he himself couldn't. Something that made him so different from every other human Voltis had seen.
Something that was hiding in his Before.
I am completely calm. And. Cool. Zana drew another measured breath through her nose and released it just as slowly, through her nose.
It didn't help. She was still angry.
When she had laid aside the scroll to go looking for Peet, he hadn't been down at the stables. He also hadn't been in his room, or in the inn's guest room. None of the stable hands, or any of the human servants had seen him - or if they had seen him sneak off, they hadn't told her; protecting one of their own against the wrath of his simian master.
Zana didn't see herself as Peet's master, but Mothers, hadn't she explained the dangers of leaving the inn to him in so many words? It was as if Peet was challenging the Kobavasa to find him!
Zana wandered to the window and stared into the rapidly darkening sky. Was Peet seeking out danger? He had always been more ready to fight an ape than Alan, who preferred negotiation to battle, but she couldn't remember that he had actively put himself in harm's way like this. Maybe this separation from Alan, temporary as it was, had unsettled him more gravely than she had realized.
Or maybe Peet's time in Urko's dungeon was finally catching up with him.
It was possible - Zana had noticed that she was feeling more and more dejected herself since they had reached Chubla. Now that the immediate threat of Urko catching up with them was gone, older wounds, older scars were reacquainting themselves with her.
Last night, she had dreamed of her baby again.
Zana pushed away from the window frame with an impatient sniff. So maybe Peet was struggling with his ghosts, too, and a fight with - or a flight from - a troupe of human-hunting criminals was his distraction of choice.
A dangerous distraction. Getting himself killed was not a solution to his problems that she was ready to allow.
And if you hadn't fled into your story scrolls, you wouldn't have to fret now. You would've noticed him sneaking off, and you'd have sat him down at the table and had that talk that you've been promising yourself since the day you saw him lying naked and bruised on the floor of Melvin's restaurant.
There'd be no more delays. She'd-
The door opened and Peet stuck his head in - dripping wet from the rain that was whipping against the windowpane behind her. He froze when he saw her; then he straightened and came in completely, projecting an air of nonchalant indifference. "Hi, Zana."
"Did you fall into a bucket when you tried to water the horses?" Zana snapped.
He did have the decency to avert his eyes as he self-consciously raked a hand through his hair. "Bad weather today."
"Today and every day," Zana said. "We need to talk."
Peet made a face as if he had bitten on something nasty, but he just said, "Lemme change into something dry," and vanished into his room.
He came back before Zana's ire could climb to combustion level and sat down at the table, hands folded on the tabletop, eyes wary. Zana slowly sat down across from him and laid her palms on the tabletop, too, trying to let the coolness of the wood seep into her.
"You didn't go to the stables as you said you would," she began.
He sighed. "No."
"Why do you lie to me, Peet?"
He leaned back in his chair with a sudden movement, pushing against the backrest. "Why do you think you can order me around, Zana?"
She dug her fingertips into the wood. "I'm trying to protect you!"
"I didn't ask you to!"
"I fear for your life, Peet! Excuse me if I care that much about you!"
He was clenching his fists now. "I know you care, Zana, but it's still my decision. An' I don't want to have a discussion every time I go out the door!"
"Mothers, Peet," Zana exploded. "Don't you understand the danger you're putting yourself in, or do you consciously seek it out? Do you have a death wish, like Alan?"
He stared at her in alarm. "Why do you think... Did you find out what happened to Al?"
Zana sighed. "No. I haven't seen Galen in the last two days - he's busy with outfitting the wagon, and going over Dr. Ropal's scrolls, and learning his routes through the prefectures... When he comes home in the evening, he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He doesn't even eat dinner-"
"You'd have found the time if you really wanted to know," Peet muttered.
Zana felt her fur bristle. "Since you agree with me how important it is not to let those old wounds fester in the darkness, you can put your sembles where your mouth is right now!"
He visibly tensed in his seat. "What do you mean?"
"Why are you really insisting on running into the wilderness, Peet? And in this weather? I thought you hate getting water on your face?"
Peet wiped his hand across his face. "Yeah," he admitted, "but I wasn't born that way, an' I... I want to get rid of that... that stupid..."
So it had something to do with the abuse from Urko. Zana felt her rage melting away. "I commend you for confronting your... issues," she said softly. "How's it going so far?"
He drew a deep breath. "It's still driving me crazy. But I don'... get confused anymore. I can keep running. So that's... that's progress in my book."
"It really is," Zana agreed, trying to sound encouraging. "What about the nightmares?"
Peet shifted in his seat. "Whoa, are you trying to treat me, Zana? Didn't know you're a shrink now, too."
"You so urgently want to know what happened to Alan in Etissa," Zana retorted, "because you suspect it's the cause of Alan's current problems. What exactly are you intending to do with that knowledge? Are you a shrink, Peet?"
"No," Peet muttered. "But I'm his friend."
"So am I," Zana said, "and I'm also your friend, Peet, and I want to help you. I've left you alone ever since you returned to us from Urko's prison, because that was what you wanted, and because I respect your wishes; but I've come to realize that leaving someone alone in such a condition is the same as abandoning them. And I like to think that I don't abandon my friends."
Peet said nothing for a moment, but he couldn't meet her eyes.
"Alan was so devastated by whatever had happened in Etissa that he sought out death," Zana continued, "and now it seems to me that you're engaging in similar harmful, risk-seeking behavior-"
"Al didn't try to kill himself!" Peet exploded. "Galen let go, I was there, you weren't, I know what I saw!"
"I know Galen," Zana said calmly, "and no matter how exasperated he may be with you sometimes, he would never knowingly allow either of you to be harmed - or try to kill you. Don't be ridiculous, Peet. You cannot deny that Alan changed since we left Etissa. Alan changed, Peet, not Galen. And you are so eager to put yourself in harm's way... and that's not normal, either. Not even for you."
"You can't keep me on a leash," Peet snapped. "I'm not your pet, Zana."
"I don't regard you as my pet, I'm worried for your safety," Zana snapped back, thoroughly exasperated. "If you want to get over your fear of water, you can let it rain on your face while standing in the yard - you don't have to try to get shot by the Kobavasa on top of it!"
"They won't dare to come that close to the district chief's home base," Peet said dismissively. "I'm not taking undue risks, Zana, I know what I'm doing. And it pays off, too - I found someone who's willing to help us bust out Al. Since we can't force the chief to give him back anyway, we'll have to run, like Galen said..."
His face blurred, and Zana blinked rapidly. I can't give you up yet, either of you...
When her sight cleared, she saw that Peet's expression had softened. "We need to run, Zana, you know that. You can settle down here - looks like Galen is already working on that - but that'd mean that Al stays that kid's pet, an' you can't want that for him. He needs to go home, to his own wife an' kids."
"No, of course I don't want that for Alan," Zana murmured, trying to keep her voice steady. "It's just... I can't imagine what it'll be like, without you two around." She smiled, although she didn't feel like smiling. "You're very dear to me, even when you insist on being a stubborn baboon like now."
"I'll miss you, too," Peet said, and it sounded sincere. "But I think that chimp is right - there's just no way apes an' humans can live together in peace. Something has to give, an' it's always the humans' side that does."
"That Chimpanzee?" Zana forced herself to focus on the new information instead of the grief threatening to choke her again. "Who are they? Where did you meet them, and how do they think they can help you?"
Peet smirked. "Did you know the chief is divorced?"
Zana raised her brows at that. Of course, the existence of a son implied the existence of his mother, but there had never been any mention of her, so she had simply assumed that the woman was either dead, or content to stay in the background and focus on home and family. But a divorce?
Peet nodded at her expression. "Seems the chief kicked her out because he didn't agree with her views on humans. His ex thinks that humans should be free, an' she mightily disapproves of her son having a human pet. She told me she can bust out Al and get him to the border of the Forbidden Zone. I guess she still has connections in the big ape's house."
"But Alan doesn't remember you - or any of us," Zana objected. "Do you think he'll voluntarily go with an unknown ape... probably in the middle of the night?"
Peet shrugged. "No - I guess she'll need to drug him or something."
Zana raised her brows. "And how do you think he'll react once he wakes up?"
"Badly," Peet grinned. "I'll need to tie him up until he remembers."
Zana didn't think this was funny. "It'd be a highly stressful situation for Alan - he'd be in fight-or-flight mode, and not inclined to listen to anything you say to him. Or to be introspective. You'd just reinforce his current identity."
Peet eyed her as if he suspected her to just come up with excuses to keep them around for a bit longer, but he only said, "So what do you suggest? I can't just waltz into the chief's house to visit Al whenever."
"As Galen's orderly, you'll see Alan quite often," Zana reminded him. "We need to find a strong reminder of his past that you can present to him then - something that will encourage him to retrieve more memories on his own."
"Good luck with that," Peet scoffed. "We didn't exactly collect a lot of happy memories since we crashed here."
"What about that disc Alan is wearing around his neck?" Zana asked. "I bet he wonders what it is, or where he found it."
"He doesn't have it anymore, 's far as I could see," Peet shrugged.
"Oh no!" That silver disc had been Alan's most prized possession, something like a key that would unlock the way back to his home, as he had explained to her. Zana remembered how he had pulled it out and contemplated it whenever they had set up camp. "How will he find his way home then?"
Peet shrugged again. "That's something I'll let him worry about, once he remembers he lost the damn thing in the first place."
"Restoring Alan's memory is the first step," Zana agreed. "And until we accomplish that, we need to find out a bit more about Chief Voltis' former wife. We need to know if we can trust her."
"Seems like a no brainer to me," Peet muttered. "The chief likes keeping humans as slaves, an' the ex likes setting them free. I know whose side I'm on."
"Maybe you're right, and it's that simple," Zana murmured, though she suspected that it wasn't - few things ever were. "Well, let's try and make a list of things that could stir Alan's memory without upsetting him." She rose to get a scroll and set up tea water. Peet stretched in his seat like a cat.
A smug cat.
Peet had distracted her again, with his news about Chief Voltis' wife, and the reminder that he and Alan would leave her as soon as Alan had regained his wits.
Damn him. He knows me too well.
But now that list had precedence, and she needed Peet's cooperation. Their talk about Urko and Vanda, and the wounds they had struck in his soul, would have to wait.
Soon, Zana promised herself. We'll have that talk soon.
