Virdon remembered Burke's joke a few weeks later as he stood before Laisa's door, gathering his courage. Right now, he'd rather have faced that dragon than her.

But he couldn't put this off any longer. Burke and he had decided to leave long before the Spring Equinox - before the sun would heat up the badlands to the west so much that they'd become impassable. Virdon had wanted to leave even sooner, but they had to wait until Burke's back had scarred over sufficiently.

Virdon shook his head and felt for his own scars, sneaking up the side of his neck where Voltis' house sign had been burned into his flesh. If they ever made it back home, they'd both have to get extensive cosmetic surgery to have all those scars removed - at least the visible ones.

With a deep breath, he knocked.

The door opened almost immediately, and Laisa greeted him with a broad smile. "Alan! Come in!"

He smiled at her, although his guilt intensified, then followed her inside.

"I'm taking inventory today," Laisa informed him as she strode towards the herb room, "so I'm not receiving customers, except for emergencies." She threw another radiant smile over her shoulder. "It's so nice to have your company for that!"

"It's always nice to have your company," Virdon complimented her. He sat down on one of the two chairs in the room and watched her as she busied herself with pulling open drawers and peering into bottles, scribbling notes, and occasionally emptying a container into a big bucket in a corner. He rubbed a hand over his mouth, wondering how to break the subject of his impending departure to her.

Since his return from the 'battle of Sultok', as both apes and humans called it with gleeful hyperbole, his relationship with her had changed - intentionally, on his part. He was still attracted to her, and he still liked her very much - and if he had allowed it, those feelings of attraction and affection would've evolved into love; of that, he was pretty certain.

But the reappearance of the data disc had changed everything, turning him from widower back to husband - at least until this last search had been exhausted. He hadn't told her that; hadn't given any reason for his reluctance to share her bed at all, counting on her assumption that it had to do with his resurfaced trauma. And she hadn't complained, and had been content with snuggling and kissing, but he had felt more guilty with every passing day. It wasn't right to encourage her that way, keeping her hopes up that he'd come to her if she'd only be patient.

No, she deserved the truth, just like Pete had deserved it. But God, it didn't ever get easier! Or maybe he had turned into a coward by his transformation into Taris-the-slave.

"You're quiet today," Laisa remarked.

Virdon inhaled deeply. "I'm just engrossed in watching you sort your herbs."

She flashed a grin at him, and he grinned back, then sobered immediately. "But I'm also trying to find a good way to tell you bad news... and I'm coming up empty."

Laisa straightened and gave him her full attention. "What kind of bad news?"

There was no way to cushion this. "I'm going to leave Chubla - for a long time, maybe forever."

The herb room was always dimly lit, so it was impossible to tell if she blanched, but she left her open container on the counter and came over to him to sit down on the second chair. "You're leaving? When? Where? And for what purpose? Why won't you come back... sorry." She leaned back suddenly, as if she wanted to pull back her own words. "I'm just so... this is so unexpected."

"Yes, I know," Virdon said, chagrined. "And that's my fault. I've known it for some time, but I didn't know how to tell you. I'm leaving for the western mountain range. What was ca... what my people know as the Rocky Mountains. It's a long journey, all across the continent, so I don't know how long it'll take to reach them."

"But why..." Then understanding dawned on Laisa's face, and with it, indignation. "You're searching for the White City. Alan!" She jumped up from her chair, too incensed to sit. "It's a children's story! Nothing but a story, Alan! It's not true, never was true, and it's not worth throwing your life away for it in the badlands! They're infernal! Nothing survives in there! You'll never reach the western mountains, if they're even real, too, and not just part of that story!"

"Laisa, calm down." Maybe that had been the reason he had hesitated for so long - dreading her ire, not her tears. "The mountain range exists, I know that for a fact. And I have reason to believe that the story has a kernel of truth - enough to justify this search."

"And your master allows this... folly?" Laisa was pacing the tiny room, still fuming.

Virdon didn't bother to correct her assumption about his and Galen's relationship. "He does."

"I cannot believe this! Why would he... never mind." Laisa returned to the table and stared down at him. "What does Dehni... Pete say to this?"

"He'll go with me." Virdon couldn't suppress a wry smile. "To keep me out of trouble."

Laisa scoffed and turned away, but didn't resume her pacing. She just stood there, rigid like a statue, facing the corner with the abandoned herb container.

"Is it because of me?" she finally asked in a small voice.

"No!" Virdon rose and embraced her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. She smelled of hay and resins, dark and bitter - since that first night, she had never again smelled of that sweet, flowery scent that brought back memories of Ramor's breeding booth. Virdon closed his eyes and fought the urge to bury his nose in her hair. "I swear I'm not running away from you. If I was free to choose, I'd stay."

It was true, he realized with a sudden jolt. If he was free... when had he started to consider his marriage to Sally as a burden of duty?

If he found a way home, would he lie beside his wife and dream of Laisa?

He straightened; the movement put some distance between himself and her. "It's a mission... a duty I have to fulfil. I can't tell you more... but it has nothing to do with you and me. - I'll come back to you, if I can."

The last words had tumbled out before he could think better about it. It was always like this with her. "I understand if you won't wait for me," he added lamely, suddenly remembering Burke's words.

Laisa shook her head without turning to him; she slowly walked back to the counter and leaned against it, finally facing him. "I'm a healer, Alan." She sounded tired. "I'm actually not allowed to have a lover at all... or a husband. I'm married to my purpose, and the apes don't want me to be distracted from it. So you don't need to worry about other men."

So maybe her indulgence with his sudden chastity was for different reasons than he had thought. Virdon tried not to let his surprise show. "Why take that risk with me, then?"

Laisa didn't meet his eyes. "You're... different, somehow. Of course," a ghost of that mischievous smile appeared on her face, "you're also easy on the eyes. But when you woke up and couldn't remember anything, I was intrigued." The mischievous smile grew stronger. "There you were, with your exotic good looks, and that mystery surrounding you... how could I not be fascinated?"

She grew serious again. "But the more time I spent with you - and with Master Ennis being so fond of you, and so concerned about your recovery, I spent much more time with you than with any other patient - I came to know you, and..." She shrugged, and fussed with her apron, suddenly shy, "... I just fell for you, I think. Fell for your laugh, and your gentleness, and your thoughtfulness, and... for you. Just you." She looked up, and her smile was sad now. "I can't explain it any better. It just happened."

She wiped her eyes. "I knew from the beginning it wasn't allowed. I just didn't care."

"I need to go," was all Virdon could say. "But if... if I can, I'll come back to you."

Laisa sniffed, visibly fighting not to cry. "And Deh... Pete is going with you," she said hoarsely. "Though I don't know if that should make me more worried instead of less."

Virdon grinned, trying to lighten the somber mood. "He wants to see the dragons."

She frowned at that. "There are no dragons."

"I know. Don't tell him that, though." He walked over to her, then hesitated, unsure if it was still right to kiss her.

To hell with it.

If he wasn't going to ever see her again, he wanted his last memory of her - and hers of him - to be a good one.

Apparently, Laisa agreed with him on that.


Winter had ended so suddenly that everyone, humans and apes alike, had been taken by surprise. Alan and Peet had scrambled to finish the last of their preparations, shifting the day of their departure ruthlessly forward. They had hoped to avoid the deadly heat of the Forbidden Zone to the West, and the warmer weather was threatening to close that path for them far too soon.

Zana still hadn't caught on to the change - of schedule as well as of weather. She was panting in her too-heavy robe, her heart thudding wildly in an attempt to pump her hot blood to the surface. Not for the first time, she envied the ability of humans and horses to shed their surplus heat via sweat. Apes could sweat, too, but by far not as efficiently.

Or maybe her heart was trying to jump out of her chest for a different reason - the same reason that made her throat constrict in a really painful way, until it felt as if an apple was stuck in it. The same reason that made her eyes so sensitive to the hot wind and the glare of the sun that they were starting to water at the edges.

They were standing at the very edge of Patla prefecture, the westernmost of Chubla's prefectures, bordering on the Forbidden Zone. Just the four of them - Laisa had a patient she had to tend to, and Ennis hadn't been allowed to skip his lectures. Zana was glad about that; much as she liked both the healer and the young ape, it felt right that no outsiders would witness this moment.

This moment she had been dreading for so long.

"Are you sure you don't want to travel on horseback?" she asked for the umpteenth time. "You'd be so much faster..."

Alan shook his head with a slight smile. "We don't know how hostile the Zone will become - and then we'd either have to transport food and water for the horses, too, or shoot them. Trust me, Zana, traveling by foot is much simpler, even if it's slower."

"But how will you survive in there?" Zana fretted. "Once you reach the desert?"

"I grew up in the desert," Alan said absently. He was already scanning the treeline, looking for a path, maybe. "Don't worry so much, Zana - we'll be fine. Maybe I'll even be able to send you letters... I heard that there are caravans crossing the plains. Otherwise you'd have been out of tea a long time ago."

"They are," Galen threw in. "But they travel on a much more northern route than you and Peet. Here." He pulled a leather bag from his robe and offered it to Alan.

"It's your money," he explained, when Alan just stared at it. "Money you and Peet earned, with racing, and fighting, and, and making leatherwares..."

Alan's face froze for a moment - Zana was sure that he was silently adding one more way he had earned money - but he took the bag from Galen's hands. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me," Galen said, visibly uncomfortable. "As I said, it's your money, strictly speaking. It's the least I could do."

"I don't think we'll have a chance to spend it in the Zone," Pete commented. "Unless they hid a hot dog stand in there. Or a bar - a nice human bar, with human girls... Hey, don't look at me like that, Al! You're searching for a bunch of wizards; who knows what else has been hiding in that no-go zone for the damn m... apes?"

"These are travel papers," Galen said, before Zana could scold Peet for his almost-slur. "I told Voltis I needed to send you up north to acquire some rare herbs for me. I doubt you'll need them once you're deep in the Forbidden Zone, but as long as you're on the outskirts, they should be useful."

Alan and Peet would travel a good part of the way northward before they'd turn west; the southern parts of the inland were too hot and dry to allow more than insect life. At least this piece of information had been repeated unanimously by every simian scientist and trader.

Peet took the proffered papers with a nod and carefully stowed them away in his backpack. The humans' relationship with her fiancé had slowly relaxed after Galen and Alan had teamed up to save Peet and Laisa from the Kobavasa; a development that was in big part owed to Galen's efforts at mellowing his reactions to them.

Zana was glad that he allowed himself to let go of his grudge, if not of his grief over the loss of her daughter; she only wished he'd have started sooner. Now that he was finally coming around, the humans were leaving.

"I still can't believe that this should really be the end," she whispered as she hugged Alan goodbye. "After all this time... all these adventures..."

"It's not the end." Alan hugged her back, then looked at her with a smile. "It's a new beginning for you and Galen. I'm sure you'll do much good here, Zana - the humans are lucky to have you."

Zana sniffed and wiped her hand over her eyes. "Promise me that if you don't find that mythic human city, you'll come back here first thing, Alan - before you embark on some new journey!"

"I will," Alan assured her. "I've already made that promise to... someone else."

The healer. Zana suppressed a sigh. She wished for nothing more than for Alan's and Peet's return, even if it was a selfish wish; but if that wish was granted, Alan's infatuation with Laisa would throw them into trouble with the law... again.

Oh, we'd find a solution! If they'd only come back...

"You, too, Peet," she said, turning to her other human - her fierce, defiant, forever untamed human. "I know that you don't want to return to ape territory, but... just for a short visit? So I can see that you're still alive and... alive?" She couldn't bring herself to say 'fine'. Peet would never be fine again, not as long as an ape was within shooting distance.

"If Al doesn't find his Shangri La, I'll be off to Katlin's people," Peet said gruffly. Then his expression softened. "But yeah, I'll stop by you on my way south."

"South is where Urko is," Zana sighed.

Peet smiled. "Yeah."

She shouldn't hope for them to return, Zana realized. It would only spell trouble for them, danger - it would be the end of them.

If you really love someone, you have to let them go.

And now she was openly crying, and Peet stepped forward and hugged her, taking her completely by surprise. "'m not saying 'don't cry'," he murmured into her ear. "But it'll get better, trust me - and Al's right, you've got a good life here, an' you'll be good for the humans around here, too."

He let her go. "Take care, Zana - you were the only decent ape I've ever met."

"Thank you, Peet," Galen said dryly, and Peet gave him a cheeky smile, and for once, Galen didn't seem to be offended by Peet's teasing. Alan clasped hands with Galen, and told him to take good care of her - as if that admonishment was necessary -

... and then they left. Zana watched them vanish in the underbrush, a dark-haired human and a light-colored one, with the long, easy steps of humans that could still eat up the miles when an ape's legs had given out long ago. They were made for this, Zana thought - made for roaming the vastness of the inner lands, while apes clung to the forests and lakes of the coast.

The humans turned back a last time, waving goodbye.

Then they were gone.

Zana didn't remember how she got home; Galen must've been silent, too, or maybe she had buried herself in her grief so deeply that she hadn't even heard him talking to her. It was the silence in the house when she stepped over the threshold that woke her up from her stupor.

Silence. And the white stripe of midday light blazing on the tabletop. Zana stared at it, not sure what to do next. The afternoon lay before here like the desert of the Forbidden Zone - vast, hot, and empty.

"Sit down, Zana," Galen said gently. "I have something for you."

She slowly walked to the table and lowered herself into a seat. She still felt strangely numb, and not really there. The silence seemed to clog her ears somehow, and her voice sounded thin and far away. "A tea would be nice."

"Indeed. And while the water is heating up, let me..." Galen vanished from the room, and Zana resumed staring at the light that reflected from the polished wood of the table until her eyes began to hurt.

Galen's arms suddenly appeared in her field of vision, and set something heavy on the table before her with a thump. Whatever it was, was hidden by one of his old robes that he had wrapped around it.

"A, a housewarming gift," Galen said and turned away to take the teapot from the shelf. "Do open it."

Her fumbling fingers revealed a row of round keys in a metal case. She looked up at Galen's back; he was busy making tea.

"A typewriter?"

He half-turned to flick her a smile. "I remembered that you were very taken with the one that Gorilla had in Sapan."

Zana slowly traced the keys with her finger. "It's lovely, Galen. Thank you." She didn't want to speculate how much money it had cost him. "I'm a bit at a loss what I'm going to use it for, though. It's not as if I have to write reports for Professor Zorvan anymore." Not that he'd have accepted a typewritten report in the first place; everything had to be written by hand for the Orangutans.

Galen returned to the table with two mugs, and sat down opposite from her. "Well, you could write about our adventures, perhaps," he suggested. "You'd have to embellish them a bit, of course - maybe as an adventure series for children. Or, or write whatever else you find notable."

She forced a little laugh. "Like Felga, you mean? I'm not cut out to be a reporter."

"You need a work that fulfils you and earns you money of your own," Galen said softly. "You told me so yourself, remember. And I'm sure you'll find something worthwhile; you're the smartest woman I've ever met, and the most meddling woman, too."

Zana glared at him for that last part, and he winked at her.

She leaned back and drummed her fingers on the table. "Now that you mention it, there is a matter I intend to meddle with."

A problem for another day.

Today is another day.

Galen eyed her warily. "Do I dare ask what it is?"

Zana smiled at him. "Well, do you?"