Death's Choice

By Ammie Hawk

Disclaimer: Still not mine…

AN: This chapter was not nice to me, it fought me hard, but I managed, somehow. Anyway, let's move on.

Chapter 19: Missing You

Harry sighed as he sat cross-legged in the middle of a vast garden located in the heart of the Jedi Temple. Around him were several other children, his creche mates, all in similar positions. They were supposed to be meditating, but he didn't seem to be very good at it.

He had been at the Temple for a week now, and he felt like he wasn't making any progress at all. Mr. Kenobi had come to see him, like he'd promised, but it had only been the once, and he kinda missed him. Master Feemor was nice, but he didn't really know him yet. He didn't really know Mr. Kenobi that well either, but it was different with him. There was just something about the redhead that made him trust him.

He also hadn't heard from his dads. He wasn't really all that surprised by that fact. They were on their way back to Tipoca City after all, and they were busy. But maybe it had been long enough and he could contact them.

With that thought in mind, he cracked his eyes open and surreptitiously looked around. The rest of the kids in his 'clan' were still meditating, or at least pretending like he was. Very carefully, so as not to draw attention, he got to his feet and made his way over to Master Feemor. The tall man didn't seem to notice his approach as his eyes remained closed and his breathing even.

"Master Feemor?" he shuffled from foot to foot.

"We are meditating right now, Harry," the blond said quietly, still not opening his eyes.

"I can't," he pouted.

"What seems to be the problem, Harry?" the blue eyes finally fluttered open.

"I wanna talk to my daddy," the boy bit his lip.

"Harry," Feemor sighed heavily. "I'm sure he is very busy right now, but he will come to see you when he can."

"That'll take too long," the little raven protested. "He should be back in Tipoca City now, and I want to call him."

"For a call like that, I would have to get permission from the Council," a small frown marred the Jedi's face.

"Then do that," tears pooled in the vibrant green orbs. "I want to talk to my daddy."

"Harry," the blond reached out and took the boy's hand into his own, "we are meditating right now. So why don't you have a seat, and I will lead you in a guided meditation to see if we can't get past this block you seem to be having."

888888

Feemor sat outside the Council chambers, waiting to speak with the leaders of the Jedi Order. His clan was currently at late-meal, under the care of Master Leems, while he handled this matter.

It surprisingly didn't take long before he was allowed in. Inside, seated in chairs in a circle around the large room, were the remaining eleven members of the twelve-man Jedi High Council. The other member had been among the fallen on Geonosis. The blond took a deep breath and released his grief into the Force at the stark reminder of their significant loss at what was rumored to be the first battle of the oncoming war.

"Masters," he bowed to the assembled group.

"Master Feemor," Mace Windu nodded in return. "We are glad you requested an audience, we have a few questions for you."

"Oh?"

"We were curious about how your new charge is settling in," Ki-Adi-Mundi answered.

"Harry," he inclined his head in the Cerean's direction, "he is a rather precocious youngling, intelligent, and rather stubborn. I feel, given more time, as he has only been here a week, he could find his place here."

"That is good," Plo Koon gave him his species equivalent of a smile. "And how is he getting along with the other younglings?"

"Well," a frown drew his brows together, "as of right now, the other members of Thranta are wary of him, and he is rather standoffish with them. They are young and will work it out among themselves, eventually."

"Time he has," the Kel Dor nodded. "Younglings are very resilient. I'm sure he will settle in soon enough."

"And what of his studies?" Oppo Rancisis interjected.

"We are still working on placing him," Feemor sighed. "He is well beyond his age in mathematics and astronavigation, as well as engineering and mechanics. He has more than a basic knowledge of medical practices and procedures. And he is coming along in his saber forms and katas, he has a base in something, though it is nothing I am even remotely familiar with. However, his grasp of galactic and Republic history is below what most children his age knows."

"And his Force knowledge?" Windu asked.

"He has basic knowledge and understanding of Force manipulation," the blond replied. "Aside from that, there is no real base for anything. His meditation is abysmal. I have tried every technique I can think of to help him, but nothing seems to work. It is like there is a wall around his mind that not even he can breach."

"Do you not have a bond with him yet?" Shaak Ti frowned. "As his creche Master?"

"No, I do not," he shook his head. "I cannot explain it. In all the years I have been a creche Master a natural bond has always formed with all of my charges within the first day or two, but not Harry. The only one he has a bond with is Obi-Wan. I mean, Knight Kenobi."

"Why would he have a bond with Obi-Wan Kenobi?" Adi Gallia asked in obvious confusion.

"I just assumed it has something to do with the nature of their relationship," the blond shrugged.

"Spontaneous bonds have been known to form between future Master and Padawan pairs," Plo nodded. "And young Obi-Wan is the one who found him. Perhaps the Force brought them together."

"That is a discussion for another time," Mace held up his hand. "You have provided us with enough information to be going on with. We will discuss this matter and see if we cannot find a way to remove this block from young Harry. Now, was there anything else you would like to discuss with us?"

"Yes, actually," he nodded, reminded of his initial reason for requesting an audience. "Harry has asked to contact Tipoca City and speak with his father."

"No," the Grand Master of the Order finally spoke up. "Allow that, we cannot. Break this attachment, we must."

The majority of the Council nodded in agreement with the venerable Master's pronouncement. Though even through his own incredulity at the outright dismissal, Feemor noticed a few of the others staring at Yoda as well. Well, it looked like there might be some allies on the Council after all.

"Master Yoda," Windu leaned forward in his chair, his fingers steepled in front of him, "I think it would be in everyone's best interest if we weaned him off contact, rather than just cutting him off."

"No," the green troll reiterated, banging his gimmer stick loudly on the ground. "Trained to be a Jedi, he agreed to be. No half measures, will we take."

"The clones gave him to us of their own accord," the dark-skinned Master frowned, "and in good faith. It might not be a good idea to provoke them."

"No more discussion on this matter, shall we have," Yoda said with a note of finality in his voice.

Sensing the dismissal, the blond bowed respectfully before turning to leave the chambers. On his way out he caught Master Windu's eyes, the other giving him a warily resigned look. He couldn't help but think as he made his way back to his clan that he had a bad feeling about this.

888888

Harry made his way carefully through the halls of the Temple. He had managed to slip away from his 'clan' after late-meal, as Master Leems was leading them back to their rooms for the night. He knew he shouldn't be sneaking around, but with Master Feemor not around to keep a constantly close watch on him, he couldn't not take the opportunity.

He really wanted to see Mr. Kenobi. If he couldn't have his dads, the redhead was the next best thing. And right now, he needed someone familiar.

He hadn't told anyone, but he hadn't been sleeping well since his first night at the Temple. He just wasn't used to sleeping on his own. The bed was too empty without someone there for him to snuggle with. And… and his dreams were full of so many scary things. There had been a giant snake, giant spiders, flying creatures in long, hooded black cloaks, and all of them seemed hell bent on eating him. And when things weren't trying to eat him, it was crushing loneliness or people making him feel utterly worthless and small. But each time he'd gotten out of bed to try and find Mr. Kenobi, or anything that would help, Master Feemor was always right there and had ushered him right back.

Not tonight though. Tonight, he was going to find Mr. Kenobi and he would keep the bad dreams away, he was sure of it.

He was nearing his destination, he could feel Mr. Kenobi nearby, when he turned a corner and almost ran straight into another person. He managed to catch himself before he landed on his butt and let his gaze travel upward. A small whimper escaped him as his eyes locked with confused blue.

"Harry?" Master Feemor frowned at the youngling. "Why are you not with the rest of Thranta Clan on the way to bed?"

"No," he shook his head.

This couldn't be happening. He was so close. He needed to see Mr. Kenobi! With that thought in mind, he whirled around, intent on finding another way to his destination.

888888

Anakin sat on the couch in his Master's living quarters, as the older male made them tea. It had been a hectic week since they had returned to the Temple. He had been fitted with a prosthetic, which he was so going to have to upgrade soon as it just didn't feel right, and had been in and out of physical therapy to get used to it. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, had apparently been teaching classes to various groups of initiates. This was actually the first opportunity they had had to actually talk since their disastrous first morning back.

But tonight, he had made time to see his Master. He was set to leave in the morning, the Council had assigned him to escort Padme back to Naboo. He was actually looking forward to it, as it would give the two of them a chance to talk about what happened on Geonosis and what they were going to do moving forward.

Tonight, though, he was going to talk to Obi-Wan. They had so much they needed to discuss. Too much had happened, both between them and to them, since they had last had any real opportunity to sit down together.

"I'm glad you came by Anakin," his mentor said as he set the tea on the small table the room sported. "I've been meaning to talk with you. There has just always seemed to be something or other that came up."

"Yeah," the blond nodded. "No, things have definitely been busy."

"Well, you are here now and that is what matters," Obi-Wan graced him with a smile. "There are a few things I feel we should discuss before you head out on your mission tomorrow."

"Yeah," the younger male bowed his head. "Look, Master, about what happened on Geonosis…"

"Anakin," the redhead held up his hand, "that was actually not one of the things I wanted to discuss. However, while we are on the topic, I know it may surprise you, but I do remember what it is like to be young and impulsive, and to have to make calls in the heat of the moment."

"You, Master?" blue eyes stared at him incredulously.

"Oh, yes," the older male smiled ruefully. "I'm sure I gave Qui-Gon many gray hairs during my Padawanship, but we are not going into that right now. In the end, you made the decision to complete the mission and that is all that matters, both to me and the Council."

"Oh," Anakin fidgeted slightly. "Okay then, I guess. So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Well," the redhead took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "before we move away from the topic entirely, we do need to discuss what I saw on Geonosis."

"What you saw, Master?" he tried to morph his expression into one of innocent confusion, but if the look his Master was giving him was any indication, he failed miserably.

"Don't be coy, Anakin," Obi-Wan sighed. "I saw your interactions with the Senator, both in the arena and the hanger."

"Oh, that."

"Oh, yes, that," a faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Now, I am not going to lecture you and there will be no punishment."

Blue eyes rose in surprised incredulity to meet the older male's. That was not what he had expected at all. Obi-Wan loved to lecture him, about everything. Even little mundane things like how to make tea. For him to forego one on something that was considered taboo was highly suspicious.

"You're not?" he finally asked.

"No, I'm not," the redhead chuckled. "You are entitled to your feelings, Anakin. It's how you act on those emotions that matters. Now, while you are escorting Padme back to Naboo, I want you to take the time to truly examine your feelings and decide how you want to proceed."

"Master?" the younger male frowned.

"The Council wants to make you a Knight," the older male sighed. "We are on the cusp of war and with our recent significant losses on Geonosis, they feel you are ready."

"But you don't," the blond scoffed, looking away.

Typical. He could always count on his Master to hold him back, even when others obviously thought him ready.

"That is not what I said," a tentative hand landed on his shoulder. "I do believe you are capable, and I do agree with their decision, or we would not be having this conversation. However, you are still young, younger than even I was when I was granted the rank of Knight and I was considered quite young at the time. Though, if you can set aside your pride and be willing to learn from those older and more knowledgeable than you, I have every confidence you will be a great Knight."

"Thank you, Master," he bowed his head to hide the moisture he could feel gathering in his eyes.

"Now, as I said, knowing this," a small smile pulled at the corners of the other's mouth, "I want you to take this time and decide if this is the path you truly want to follow."

"But it's all I've ever wanted, Master," Anakin frowned up at his mentor.

"I know," the older male sighed. "And I'm not trying to dissuade you from it. But wants can change. The life of a Knight is not an easy path, and maintaining relationships outside of the Order is difficult at best. I just want you to make the choice that is best for you. I do want you to know, though, no matter what you decide, I will always be there for you should you need or want it."

"I… thank you, Master," he sniffed quietly.

Silence descended between them for several minutes. Anakin let himself take the time to wrap his head around what he'd actually been told, and the older man seemed to be letting him as he quietly sipped his tea. It was… a lot. On the one hand, he was about to become a Knight. The one thing he'd wanted for as long as he could remember. On the other, he could be with Padme. God, why did Obi-Wan have to be right? He needed way more time to think about this.

Though, there was one thing that was bothering him.

"Master," blue eyes narrowed slightly as he regarded the other, "how long have you known that the Council wanted to make me a Knight?"

"Since the return trip from Geonosis," the redhead frowned. "Why?"

"So, you've known this whole time?" a pale brow rose in challenge, "And that conversation in the Halls of Healing was what? A means to distract me from you taking on a new Padawan?"

"What?" Obi-Wan sputtered. "Anakin, no. I am not sure why you keep jumping to that conclusion. Harry is too young. He is only five. He has many more years ahead of him in the creche before he will even be considered for a Padawanship. It is impossible to say whether I will take another in the interim, which would make it impossible to take him on. But in the meantime, I don't want another Padawan, especially since I'm just getting rid of the last obnoxious one I had."

The blond began to sputter incoherently. The words stung, but they were countered, not only by his Master's tone, but the waves of affectionate teasing wafting off the other in the Force, and specifically through the training bond. He couldn't recall a specific instance where the older male had ever done something like this before, but he knew with absolute certainty that this wasn't the first time. Before he could contemplate that further a loud CRACK filled the room.

Both men were instantly on the alert. Anakin's lightsaber was in his hand with barely a thought, but he did not ignite it yet. Beside him, Obi-Wan let out a small grunt before doubling in on himself.

He wasn't sure what was going on. They were in the Temple for kriff's sake. Attacks were not supposed to happen here. The Temple was a safe haven for the Jedi. This was their home. The Force protected them here. Though, he had felt a strange tugging and almost squeezing in the Force before the attack.

"Anakin," the redhead's shaky voice cut through his rambling thoughts, "put your weapon away, we are not under attack."

"Master, I…"

"Anakin, could you for once do as I say without arguing, please?" the older male snapped. "No, Harry, you're alright. I need you to calm down, little one. You are safe now. Just relax, and breathe. That's it, deep breaths. You're okay."

Anakin's confusion did not dissipate as he replaced his lightsaber on his belt. No, it was made worse because the kid they had just been talking about was now here and apparently freaking out if the loose objects rattling around were any indication. And the strange words the boy was managing between choked sobs was not helping.

"I want… to go home. I want… my… daddy."

"Shh, you're okay, Harry," Obi-Wan sat down fully on the floor and pulled the youngling onto his lap. "I've got you."

The older male began humming quietly and rocking slightly back and forth, as his hand rose to card gently through raven locks. Anakin remembered him doing that for him several times in the early days of his apprenticeship, though he hadn't thought about that in years. It seemed to be working, though, as the sobs dwindled to shuddering breaths and the objects around the room settled back into place.

"Master?" he asked hesitantly after a few minutes.

"Yes, Anakin?" his mentor responded, leaning his head back on the couch and revealing the now sleeping child against his chest.

"What was that?"

"I'm not sure," the redhead shook his head. "He is prone to outbursts in the Force. We can only assume this was a manifestation of that."

"But the Force doesn't allow you to…" he ran his hand through his hair agitatedly. "What even was that? Teleporting?"

Before the other could respond, there was an insistent knocking on the door. With a heavy sigh and a gentle nudge of the Force, Obi-Wan allowed the visitor entrance. The Jedi they had met in the Halls of Healing, Master Feemor if he remembered right, hurried in.

"Obi-Wan," the older blond hurried over to them, "have you…?"

"Shh," the other held his finger to his lips before pointing at the sleeping boy in his arms.

"Oh, thank the Force," Feemor visibly relaxed. "He snuck away from Master Leems and then he just disappeared. I hoped you'd be able to find him, but I didn't expect him to be here. I'll just take him back to the creche now."

"Actually, Master Feemor," the redhead frowned, "I'm not sure how you cannot sense it, but this boy is exhausted. It would not be a good idea to wake him. I can return him to the creche in the morning."

"Yeah, alright, fine," the creche Master ran his hand through his hair. "He has been wanting to see his father."

"Of course, he has," Obi-Wan sighed tiredly. "Well, one night cannot hurt. I will see you in the morning, Master Feemor. Anakin, I'm sure I'll see you soon, and may the Force be with you."

With that the other two made their way out, leaving the redhead to get settled for the night.

888888

After the Council meeting, Kote made his way down to medical. He needed to get his post deployment eval, as well as get the chip that was apparently in his head taken out. He knew it needed to be done, especially with what he had been told about the chips during the meeting, but he really wished he could put it off, at least until he had talked to Rex. But he knew, logically, that he couldn't.

As he rounded the corner to his destination, he paused just out of sight at the scene before him. Almost as if his thoughts had conjured him, the blond was standing just outside the door to the med bay, talking quietly with Kom'rk, of all people. He stood there, unnoticed by the pair, for several minutes, just watching. He couldn't hear what they were saying, not that he was trying to eavesdrop, but after a while Rex nodded and the other leaned in, gripping the back of the blond's neck, and pressed their foreheads together for a handful of moments.

What the hell was that about? Rex wasn't close to any of the Nulls, he would know about it, they didn't keep secrets from each other. Who the fuck did Kom'rk think he was, initiating such intimate contact like that? He had no right to do that, especially not with Rex.

When the Null finally left, the other brunet stepped forward and cleared his throat, drawing the CT's attention to himself. The blond stiffened slightly as his gaze snapped to him.

"Kote," the other frowned, "what are you doing here?"

"Standard eval," his eyes narrowed slightly. "You?"

"Brain surgery," Rex pulled a face.

"I'm scheduled for that too," the CC nodded.

"Good luck with that, I guess," the blond shrugged. "I need to go."

With that, he turned to leave. Kote's hand, however, shot out and grabbed him by the upper arm before he made it more than two paces. The CT glanced down at the offending appendage before giving the brunet an unimpressed stare.

"Look, Rex," he sighed heavily, "I get that you're mad at me, but can you just knock it off already? If you want to take a swing, go ahead."

"What are you talking about?" the other frowned. "Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know," the CC snapped, was he being obtuse on purpose? "Maybe because I didn't do more to stop our son from staying on Coruscant? I know you blame me, Rex. So, let's just get this over with."

"I don't blame you, Kote," Rex ran his hand over his hair. "We both agreed that was Harry's choice. Am I happy about it? No. But I'm not mad at you, Kote."

"Then why are you avoiding me, Rex?"

"I'm not…" the blond sighed. "I've just had a lot on my mind. It's nothing personal, Kote. I haven't wanted to be around anyone."

"Well, are you done now?" a dark brow rose in question.

"Yeah, sure, fine, whatever," Rex rubbed his eyes tiredly. "What do you want, Kote?"

"I want my best friend back," the brunet scoffed. "I want to be able to talk to the one person who actually understands what I'm going through. I want our son back. I know I can't have the last one, it was his choice, and I would never deny him that. But can I at least have the other two? Is that too much to ask?"

"No, you're right," the other sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I miss him so much. We just got him back and then we had to let him go. It's not fair."

"I know," he agreed.

Rex was always better at putting voice to his emotions. And he always knew how to push Kote into things he wouldn't do with anyone else. But on the flip side, the brunet was the only one who could reign him in when it got to be too much. It's what made them such a great team. They balanced each other out so well.

"I guess I was trying to distract myself," the blond admitted quietly.

"You tend to do that, Rex," a small smile tugged at the corners of Kote's mouth. "Look, I've gotta get to the med bay, but how about tomorrow we place a call to Coruscant?"

"I'd like that," the other nodded, returning the smile. "Good luck with your surgery, Kote. I'll see you tomorrow."


Ammie: OMG, there it is. Finally. I really wanted to have this up days ago, as my birthday gift to ya'll, but Anakin and Obi-Wan wanted to fight me at every turn. But now it's done and we can finally move on. So, I'm thinking there is only going to be one more chapter that truly focuses on Harry's stay at the Temple, and then we can get him back where he belongs.

Anyway, I need some more help. With writing this chapter, it came to my attention that I need a name for the Clone Council of Kamino. It gets a bit confusing, even for me when I'm trying to write about the clones and the Jedi at the same time, to call them both The Council. So any suggestions would be helpful.

Enough of my ramblings though, please let me know what you think.