"CONTACT!"
I ducked under the rain of bullet fire. Gritting my teeth, as a bit of the cover I hide behind chips away. Bullets bouncing off the concrete, even a hot spark hitting my cheek, but I power through the irritating sting. There's a second of rest from the enemy fire, I puff out a breath of hot air and I sprint to another position, bullets trailing after a second later. I carry my M4 close to my chest, a medical backpack weighing me down alongside all of my gear. I make it behind cover, where our wounded is groaning in pain, his leg bleeding excessively.
"We're here to help! Whatever you need me to do, let's get it done!" I hated saying such useless crap in front of his face, but it's ingrained into my mind by now. I throw my bag off my back, speeding to take out a splint and tourniquet.
I curse as bullets fly overhead over the position. I raise my M4 and notice the bullets that whizz by over. Doing some mental gymnastics, I wait for a pause in their fire and stand up, shooting at where I believed the enemies were. In the distance, I heard the shouts of panic. I stop, immediately going back down to apply the tourniquet on the soldier's leg.
"You're going to be alright! We'll get you out of here!" I yell, fire descending on our position once more. "Goddamn, it! Rodriguez! Where the hell are you and Malcolm?!" I shout into my earpiece, hands working quickly as I begin to twist the lever around and tighten the band around…Percy's leg. Blood gushes out from his wound, covering his face with an arm as he groans in pain.
My earpiece comes to life, and I hear Rodriguez's voice clear as day. "I see your position! You're safe for now! Malcolm is pressing suppressive fire at 3'o clock! I got you both in my line of sight at 11! Moving to a better position at 9!"
I grunt, in response finally applying the tourniquet. "Injured personnel ready to move! Contact hiding at 12!"
I move, placing Percy on my shoulders with a fireman's carry. I grunt, he must've been over 200 pounds plus gear. I lift him up either way, standing up I make sure to be as delicate as I can with his leg. Percy lets his head fall down on my shoulder as he groans.
"Malcolm! Move with me now! Rodriguez is going to watch our backs! Rodriguez follow right after us after Malcolm passes your position! Let's go!"
I hear gunfire to my right, knowing it's suppressive fire from Malcolm. I don't waste a second and begin to sprint out of the area. Percy weighs me down, my steps stomping the ground as I run, but I manage to turn the corner. I hear two sets of steps trudging behind me, I spare a glance back. Malcolm and Rodriguez follow, Rodriguez with his back to us as he continues to lay the suppressive fire.
"Malcolm! Cover me when you turn!" He yells, his brown skin sweating from his brow.
"Got it!" Malcolm turns the corner, sliding on the foot of his heel and mounts his M4. "Stay to your left, Rodriguez!" He yells, laying down fire.
I continue running down the hallway, Percy more or less a ragdoll on my shoulders. I see the exit, its door closed.
"Rodriguez run ahead and bust down that door!"
Rodriguez sprints, passing me in seconds. He approaches the door and kicks it down before scurrying behind its frame, pointing his sights down into the open wasteland.
"...Clear! Move your asses! I'll cover you, Malcolm!"
I'm already clearing the doorway, and I sprint out into the open. The sun blazes down, practically cooking us alive. But I pay no heed, and sprint behind cover. Malcolm comes down right next to me, and a second later so does Rodriguez, rifle still pointed at the door.
"Malcolm! Where's the rendezvous?!"
"...1'o clock! We got the infantry squad camping behind the hill! They have our getaway!"
I press my earpiece. "Command! We need friendlies to lay down suppressive fire! We need to cross an open field, and we got enemies on our asses!"
A second later, I receive a response. "Roger! Give me thirty seconds!"
"Shit! Alright! Rodriguez, keep your sights on that door! Malcolm, watch the roof!"
Rodriguez begins shooting. "Contact! They're at the doorway!"
A bullet lands a few feet away, kicking the sand into the air. "We got them on the roof!" Malcolm shoots from the edge of cover.
"Shit! You doing alright Percy?!" I yell as bullets continue to fall around us. Rodriguez busy reloading a mag, scowling as a bullet lands a foot away. Malcolm continues to peek shots, none of us sure if he can manage to hit anyone.
The injured man barely opens his eyes. "...Been…better…" His face scrunches up in pain, a groan escaping him once more.
"We're almost home! Hold out for another minute!"
"RPG!" Malcolm yells. I whip my head towards the roof, M16 pistol out and aiming. Standing on the edge with the called-out weapon, a man pulls the trigger. But a bullet finds his torso. He falls to the floor, the RPG firing off to the side.
"Shit!" Rodriguez swears, throwing himself to the right. "Incoming!"
I throw Percy off my back and protect his body with my own. An explosion kicks up to the side of us, the gust of fire grazing our backs and pushing us to the ground. A rock manages to strike Percy, cursing I look down at him. There's blood running down his face from a cut to his dome.
"Malcolm! Rodriguez!"
"I'm good!" Malcolm yells, his face dirty with sand. He raises his M4 and begins shooting at both the roof and doorway. More enemies piling up on both fronts.
"I'm…okay!" Rodriguez groans from the ground, his face twisted up in pain. I see that his sleeve has burned up, turning his skin a pretty pink. "Just a scratch! But my back plate is fucked! Where the hell is our suppressive fire!?"
Bullets rain down from the hill. Our enemies shout in surprise, the lucky ones duck for cover as their friends get riddled with bloody holes.
"Malcolm, take Percy! Rodriguez take this and run ahead! I'll watch your backs!" I yell, placing Percy on Malcolm's awaiting shoulders. Digging into my vest I pull out my front plate. Rushing to Rodriguez I tear at his back, switching out the two plates before he could complain. I sling my M4 off my back and begin to fire, my bullets added to the storm.
The three of us sprint across the Afghanistan waste, sand managing to stray inside our boots. But we don't stop our sprint, Rodriguez bulldozing a path in the sand for Malcolm to follow. I stray behind, taking my time to aim down my sights. Each pull of my trigger, someone falls dead.
And then there's a boom in the air…A sniper rifle…
Pain. Hot and white. I gasp, feeling a rib break, and magma pool into my torso. I fall to the sand and grasp my chest. Blood gushing out, and agony laced my veins. The bullet had torn through Rodriguez's tattered plate.
"Hit!"
Rodriguez turns to look back. "Shit!" He comes running back, and Malcolm turns to follow.
"Malcolm!" I yell, sweat dripping down my face. "If you come here, I'll kill you! Take Percy to safety! Now!"
Malcolm turns his head back and continues to sprint up the hill. Rodriguez slides to my side, grabbing my arm to sling it over his neck.
"Don't!" I rasp. "I can stand! Fucking shoot and run!"
With excruciating effort, I get to my knees. Blood pours out onto the sand. Forcing myself past the mind-numbing pain, I make it to my feet and begin to move.
Another boom echoes in the air, missing inches away from Rodriguez's startled face.
"The fuck are you doing?! Run, Rodriguez!" I hobble my way past him, each step I take I feel my broken rib rub my intestine. The bullet…I can feel it tickling my lungs.
Rodriguez wildly shoots behind us, his M4 spraying fire. I fall to a knee, gasping out bloody pants. I rub my arm over the side of my mouth, eyeing the blood that covers it.
It's harder to breathe now.
I barely hear Rodriguez call my name. "-get up! Get the fuck up!"
There's something roaring in my ears. I growl out, and like an animal, I trudge through the god-forsaken sand, I whip my M4 and begin to spray its fire as I crawl backward. "R-Rodriguez! Drag…me!" I could barely get the words out. His hands grab the collar of my jacket, and I force my eyes open, watching with a blurry view of the building in the distance.
I shoot at its image.
Rodriguez pulls me over and behind the hill. A final boom reached my ears, sand kicked up into the air falling onto my dragging legs. I let my head fall back, closing my eyes lest they're blinded by the scorching sun.
I got hit again, stomach this time.
"Fuck! Don't close your eyes! Don't you fucking dare!" Rodriguez yells, as he almost tumbles down. "Hey! Help me bring him over to the truck! Now!"
Who he's talking to…?...Oh…right…our infantry is…here…
I'm lifted by my limbs, Rodriguez barking orders as he sprints ahead to the truck whipping out equipment from his pack. Through a hazy view, I see Malcolm, treating Percy on the bed of the truck.
"We got everyone? Let's get the hell out of here!" He yells. Tires screech on the hot sand, kicking it into the air as they begin to speed off. I feel him look at me, before beginning to help Rodriguez.
I blink the spots in my vision away, as they tear my gear off my body. Blood pools onto the bed of the truck, dripping and leaking until it manages to fall off and onto the disappearing sand.
"Fuck! Malcolm get that chest seal ready!"
"Already did! Hey! Stay with us! Alright?!"
Blood gurgles from my lips when I try to nod. My eyes… they feel heavy…
"Goddamnit! We're losing him!" Rodriguez shouts, barely finishing applying the chest seal…
I turn my head to the side, watching a shaking Percy, staring at me with wide-horrified eyes. I give him a toothy and bloody smile, and with a shaky arm, I place my hand on the foot of his wounded leg.
"T-Told…you…We're get…getting you…h-home…" I drawl, breath seeming to escape my words…I don't feel my legs…I can barely feel my stomach…and I can't lift my arms…
"No! No! No! Fuck! Fucking shit! Hey! Hey! J-"
I can't hear now. In my disappearing vision, I see both Malcolm and Rodriguez shouting, their throats bulging and straining. But I can't hear them. I show them a smile, to tell them it's alright…My eyes start to flutter shut, and I can't seem to open them…
And then there's darkness.
/-/
It's warm…incredibly so.
I open my eyes and am greeted with darkness. I turn my head to see if there's anything I can make out and I see…nothing. Only darkness.
What's happening…? I say, but no words come out of my mouth. No air comes out either…I move a hand to my mouth. It feels sluggish to do so, and I feel weak. My fingers graze my mouth, and I can feel a liquid all over. It's inside my mouth, and it feels like I'm submerged.
I should be drowning…But I'm only resting.
Is this…death…?
I let my eyes rest. Even if I can't see it tires me to keep them open.
I let my head fall, assuming there's nothing to hit it in this plane of existence…I was wrong. My head rests against…something incredibly soft. I should be panicking…but…this feels too nice.
I don't know why, but I know I can't be hurt in this existence.
A smile begins to grow on my face…Is this my reward? Has god granted me what I so desperately wanted in life?... Have they granted me peace?
I've spent my youth dedicating my life…my being to the military. I was a Pararescue, part of the Special Warfare branch of the United States Air Force. Spending day and night training for the job, pushing my body to its limits, and almost breaking my mind to earn that maroon beret. And when I finally did, I was sent to Afghanistan. And many other places after that too, but I mainly stayed in that desert country.
There…I saved so many lives. Many soldiers get hurt, and many more don't get the opportunity to live. It was my job to make sure that they did.
But…I took many lives as well. I was never tasked with assassinating a person, but I needed to stop any who would hinder our mission, to save the lives of our fallen. Many wanted another US soldier dead…So I made sure that they wouldn't hurt any of my countrymen ever again…
I never told anyone…but it hurt…To take lives. Every time I pulled my trigger, I felt my heart squeeze itself in pain. I don't know them, and they don't know me. We only know that we're supposed to hurt each other, and like dogs, we do as we're told to. And sometimes…I was right there to see the life fade from their eyes…I've spent many sleepless nights wondering if it was God's way of punishing me…
The only thing that made me think that I was doing the right thing was seeing the life come back to soldiers' faces, knowing that I saved them. For every man and woman I saved, I could feel my soul healing itself…But there were times when my efforts weren't enough, and I watched as their hope to live disappeared, and when they stopped breathing…
…Those always hurt the most…
I had wondered to myself for years…when would I have enough pain? When would I decide that I've suffered enough? When would I decide to go home, and leave the battlefield behind?
I was 22 when I first thought that, only two years after I received the maroon beret. At 30 years old, I died…still fighting and suffering…Reason being…I couldn't see myself doing anything else…
I couldn't see myself not trying to at least save the lives of my comrades…For each life I took, I vowed to save another. A grim determination filled my crying heart…even if I had never met them, I had to save the people that I loved…
…I'm sad to say, that in my moment of dying. I had not achieved my goal…I had killed too many, and I hadn't saved enough…I shouldn't be feeling this comfort. In whatever place I've ended up, I shouldn't be feeling at ease, this relaxed…this happy. I don't deserve it…and yet here I am…
…Maybe…I can…stay here for the end of time…
I snuggle into myself, cradling my…naked? My naked body…it's soft and pudgy…That's not right.
I trail my hands down, finding that I'm small…Extremely small. Soft too. There's too much fat on my stomach, and not enough hair covering my body.
Then my hands graze…something. It feels like an intestine. I furrow my brows, and feel around it…It's connected to my stomach…
Oh…Oh…Oh fuck…I'm inside a womb…I'm a newborn…
Just. My. Fucking. Luck.
I sigh, the fluid that's inside my mouth being pushed away only to come back a second later. It's a weird feeling, to be able to breathe in water. Or amniotic fluid in my case. I must be the only person on earth to be able to confidently say that.
…Can I start a new life? Did I rob this child of its chance to live? If so…I'm nothing but a thief. I had already lived a life, what right do I have to take it away from this child? What right do I have to rob a family from raising their baby-...?
My head is forced forward.
...Is something kicking me? My head is forced upwards this time.
…Something is punching me…Oh god, I'm a triplet…
My…sibling(?) that punched me suddenly starts to move, I can feel their hands pushing against the thin membrane…
The walls start to squeeze, and I can feel my sibling's hands slide away…I hear their cry from beyond the womb…
…Oh my god…No…No fucking way…
Terror grips my heart, as I feel myself begin to slide.
This can't be happening! This can not be happening! Oh, Christ! Oh my fucking god! I see the fucking light!
The top of my head feels the cold biting air. I scream in horror.
/-/
…Well…next time I die, I want to be dead for good…
I shiver in the swaddle, not from the cold…but from the trauma of birth. My eyes closed tight. The ceiling lights had stung me like an arc flash.
I'm lifted by someone, who could be a nurse. I hear my mother finishing pushing out my last sibling.
…I want to see her. What does my mother look like…?
With a slight effort, I force my eyes open…Lying on the hospital bed is my mother. She's young. Can't even be an adult yet, but…she's still so very beautiful. She might be the most beautiful person I've ever seen.
She pants as she lays her head on the pillow, staring at the ceiling. And then our eyes meet.
Stars…She has the most beautiful eyes I would ever think of. My heart stop for a moment, instantly captured by them. I…I can't describe it…they're so…amazing.
"My…babies." She says, a sweet melodic voice coming from her mouth. "Let me hold them, please."
The nurse nods her head and brings me to my mother. I see my older sibling, held by a man. Is he my father? My younger sibling is still being cleaned, but in a minute she will also join us. I'm sure of it.
I'm held by my mother first, my father bringing my sibling to our side.
I stare, noticing that I have an older brother. His eyes trail around the room. I see his spark of wonder and confusion.
"Oh, they're so cute!" Mother gasps, elation flooding from her mouth. She plants a kiss on the top of my head and does the same to my brother. My third sibling joins us next, it's a girl. Mother kisses her too.
"Hi…I'm Ai, your mommy…" She whispers into our ears, then she stares at my siblings. "You two have your father's colors but my cute face!" She turns her head to me, her starred eyes looking into mine. "And for you, it's the opposite!"
I observe my siblings, admiring their blond hair. My brother has blue eyes, and a star in his right eye. Our sister instead has red eyes and a star on her left.
"I'm sorry to bother you, but have you thought of names?" Father asks, eyeing us from behind his square sunglasses.
Ai nods happily and kisses my brother on the head once more. "He's going to be Aquamarine!"
…What…?
Father seems to think so too. "Really? But that's such…" He stops himself short. "Fine, but I'm calling him Aqua."
"Fine by me!" Ai chirps, before kissing my sister again. "She's going to be Ruby!"
Father nods. "Better."
Ai looks at me now, the stars in her eyes glimmering. "And you…? You're going to be Jet." She kisses my head, while I blink at the name I was given.
"...Alright…?" Father grimaces. I agree with his reluctance.
"President Saitou pass me my phone, please. I want to take a picture!" Ai beckons, and to my surprise the only other man in the room goes to do as she asks.
Hm? So, he isn't my father…I guess Ai is a single mother…How sad.
I snuggle myself closer to her, attempting to apologize for the circumstances.
"Oh? Well, aren't you a cuddly baby, Jet!" Ai gushes, a laugh escaping her lips.
My siblings look on. Our brother stares at us with shock and confusion. Excitement sparks from my sister.
Were they also reborn?
"Here." President Saitou hands Ai the phone.
Saying her thanks, she turns on the camera and gets the four of us into the frame. I look at the camera…Pale skin and purples tufts of hair that borders on black…and eyes that're colored a royal violet.
One star in each iris. Shining bright.
/-/
Hello. I'm still alive.
Some of you might know me for my AOT fanfic: Dying sucks. I haven't updated it in a year, even though I have it outlined already and I know what I want to write. I just can't seem to be able to make any progress. I write a scene and immediately delete it, thinking it's not up to quality.
With Oshi no Ko coming out a week ago, I instantly got hooked. And I was inspired to write a fanfiction about. A breath of fresh air I suppose. I've only seen episode one, going to watch episode two after I finish writing a chapter or more for this fanfic. Then I'm going to catch up on the manga.
I hope this fanfic renews my passion for writing and gives me both courage and insight to continue Dying Sucks. I'm sorry to have kept those who have read it waiting. I hope that I can keep you all entertained as I write this fanfic.
