Is it worse to be Jake, whom stands from afar craving to be the one who gets to look into those eyes or is it worse to be Miles, to look into those eyes and know that they will never look at him like how they look at….Jake.

Miles looks over at me, staring off into the distance.

Right at him.

Jake turns, sensing my very presence, he could always sense me now. But perhaps it's because he was so hyper focused on whatever crumbs of love he did receive.

He missed me,

Missed our nights together,

He feels…so….so lost without me,

"Love you" He replies as if I was standing right infront of him and not hundreds of feet away.

I would never say it back and he's accepted it.

But he needed me to know,

Because he wasted his chance,

"I always will Vera."

"Vera?" Miles calls for me as I turn my head, not even realizing how fast my heart was racing and how much i was focused on Jake.

"Huh? Oh."

"You ok?"

I coiled my fingers into his, and can tell this very motion makes Jake tighten his own wrist, like i was with him.

Knowing he was in love with a ghost.

"Of course" I said leaning in to kiss him.

How Jake craved those intimate moments that i shared with Miles.

He was falling apart,

Not knowing how to handle it anymore, how he wasted so much time, how he took advantage of keeping both Neytiri and i.

Never thinking he had to choose which one to risk losing,

And now realizing the weight of this decision. Because if he refused to choose, I would choose for him.

And it was the wrong choice.

"I love you" I whispered to Miles not wanting to upset Jake anymore, but he still picks up on it.

This was agony to him,

Jake leans his elbows on the balcony of his home tree. He needs to prepare for the inevitable, in a few weeks Miles will heal enough and will leave.

And I'll go with him.

I will leave…Jake….for good.

The best gift i can ever give to him is that I've convinced Miles to not kill Jake and we go back to face RDA's wrath together.

"Are you sure?" Miles asks me, concern written all over his face. "You want to go….back?"

"They'll try to kill you if i don't." I mumbled. I don't even know who i was referring to.

Omatikaya wanted him dead and I'm sure once we return, so did the RDA.

I didn't want him to go alone, especially after having to fight Jake off. He was in no means to take on an entire army.

I couldn't handle either of them…dying.

And the only thing that kept Miles alive is Jake's unconditional love for me. He had no choice but to protect Miles from his people.

Jake's already lost so much of me. He couldn't handle losing this very last bit.

While Miles is sitting in the same relative position, he would rather face countless lashings from the RDA than to kill Jake and hurt me.

Two hearts, magnetized to one soul.

Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time

You and I drink the poison from the same vine

Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time

Hidin' all of our sins from the daylight

Miles touches my cheek, caressing it softly as those golden eyes bore into me.

And that soft glimmer that i had focused on Jake, begins to fade. A part of him knew, that the part that i did love was Jake's part.

But to Jake it didn't matter, even if it was true. Even if my feelings for Jake were there, i still refused to be with him. To him, Miles had everything. At least he was allowed to have everything. Jake was never a materialistic man, so the crown, the people, the very admiration meant nothing to him. He would trade everything to sit in the very spot that Miles was. So to Jake, his suffering was far worse.

Yet to Miles, it was hopeless to love someone whose heart never was fully his. To him, he spent an entire year controlling his mate side to the point where i begged for bits of the old him.

But he feared to hurt me, so he shut me out. And now, only to realize Jake has wedged himself so deep into my heart that within Jake's arms I've healed the very scar that Miles's had left.

"It's the mate serum." I say tilting my head more into his touch.

So now he must push more than ever to get my attention back. Even if it feels like a never ending battle.

———————

"No!" Jake replied with utter annoyance at me. Once he was made fully aware (Thanks to Norm) about what leaving really meant, he lost it.

Jake immediately went to pick a fight with Miles. But if he thought I was going to sit by and watch him beat a man who's still healing then he was insane.

"I'm not going to let you go back if that means you'll die!" He growled at me.

It was a few days later and honestly if I wasn't here I'm sure they'd still try to kill each other. We sat by the waterfall on the outskirts of the low forest that connected the hallelujah mountains.

Jake turned his attention to Miles who was sitting down behind me, ready at any instant to slit his throat.

"You're really going to let her go back?" He says to him.

"She's safer with me" Miles replies

"She was fine here" Jake presses. "She's protected here."

"For how long?" Miles says "You didn't fight off hundreds of Omatikayans next to her. I did. I can protect her."

"Can you guys…."

"You think The RDA is gonna just give you a slap on the wrist Quaritch?" Jake shouts stepping closer.

"I've fought them before, nobody fucks with me up there."

And Jake scoffs.

"It doesn't matter if nobody can get to you! They'll get to her!" He retorts "You can't be there 24/7 to protect her. What happened the last time you left her alone?!"

Clearly Jake's read through the reports of the mate serum trials and is well aware of the abuse that I experienced when they called Miles off for recon.

"You think they're just gonna let it go?! No! They'll keep pushing over and over again! Why else would they bring you back from the fucking dead?!"

"Like you can?!" Miles shot back "Don't forget lover boy, you're getting married. I wonder what that little wife of yours will think when you're out here wanting to fuck another"

Annoyed at the dig, Jake stoops lower.

"Least I know Vera wants to fuck me" He says which only makes Miles lunge forward for Jake's neck. But he's always prepared for Miles. In that half second, Jake kicks up a rock to his hands, ready to bash his head.

"Stop!" I shouted, pushing in between the both of them. One hand pressed to Jake's chest while the other on Miles.

They both towered over me, and even with a scowl on his face all Jake wanted to do was lean down to devour me.

"You. Are. Not. Going." He says in a low angry voice.

"It's not up for debate." I threw back as he steps closer just throwing the rock in the air.

"So you agree then, it's not up for debate. You're staying."

"I'm going." I shoot back putting a hand up to Miles to stop him from opening his mouth to retaliate. If there's anything I know, i'm still Jake's weakness.

He won't harm me.

"You wanna bet?" He challenged me

"What are you gonna do? Hold me hostage?"

I could arrange that. He thought. But now Jake understood why I was frantically crying when he first held me prisoner, it was too similar to when the RDA held me captive.

In that dark room.

Just laying there.

Jake kept throwing the rock in the air, analyzing the situation.

How does he get me to stay?

Simple.

He doesn't,

I'll want to stay regardless,

So he launches the rock, at full speed. Hoping he's right. Hoping Miles will…

"Miles!" I shouted as he moves forward so fast that I didn't even have time to blink and the rock dislocated his shoulder blade again.

Just like how Jake wanted.

Miles kicks Jake to the side, forcing him into a tree, breaking the trunk completely.

"Fuck" Jake groaned knowing he barely healed himself. "That's gonna bruise tomorrow."

"You ass!" I growled and he chuckles.

"Can't go back and fight with a dislocated shoulder Quaritch" Jake shrugged

"That's your big plan?! Forcing us to stay?!"

"I'm not forcing 'us'." Jake implied annoyed I even coupled Miles and i together. "If you wanna go, then go. But Quaritch stays, for medical purposes."

"I'll kill you" Miles growled clutching his arm.

"You won't, right Vera baby?"

He's given himself maybe a week or six days top. What did he think he was going to prevent in that time span?!

But to Jake that's all he needed.

————————

"Still mad at me?" Jake asks crouching down behind me. Both his strong arms slide under my waist to take the knife from my hands and help me gut a fish.

"I take that as a yes," he says when i don't reply to him.

"You're fucking stupid."

And he just chuckles.

"God i miss your voice." Jake replies while laying his head on my shoulders. "I miss everything about you."

He leans down to kiss my cheek and like a switch I've become aggravated.

"Urgh! Did you forget you're getting married?!" I growled getting up and out of his grasp. "You have a whole wife."

"I don't have a wife." He corrected me

"It's the same thing you smart ass!" I shouted throwing my hands in the air "For months you lead me on!"

"Oh I did? Really?"

He wanted this, he wanted me to break. To finally tell him what was actually on my mind.

"You did! I watched as you fell apart trying to make her fucking happy! I was there for you every single time! And what did you do at the first chance you get when I needed you?!" I shouted. I'd didn't care if anyone heard us. Or if the entire colony knew.

But honestly I think Jake was the same.

"You fucking left Jake! You left me all alone that night! When I needed you! You just…left! Like everybody else!"

Now he understands why it bothered me so much, I laid there in the darkness like I was…back in that prison. Back at the RDA. I felt so abandoned.

"There were so many time I could've just left! But I didn't! I stayed to help you…because I thought…you cared…"

"I do"

"No you don't!" I barked "You're only here now because Neytiri and you are just having another fight."

"No" Jake cuts me off, he wipes the blood off his hands before standing up, and now he towers over me. "We're fine. In fact,"

He walks closer to me again.

"Jake," I sighed feeling my heart racing again.

"We're so fine, that we're sleeping in the same beds again. You know what means right?"

"If you're here to tell me that your sex life is amazing, you can…" I barked throwing my hand up to his face.

"No, actually the opposite." Jake corrects me grabbing my wrist.

"So that's it. You're having bad sex and you're looking for someone to screw in the mean time when your wife's done being mad at you."

And he just continued to chuckle like a taunt at me.

"It's not bad by all means, it's just fine."

"Wow. That's great." I replied sarcastically attempting to walk away from him but he grabs my wrist.

"I don't want fine. Vera." He corrected me. "I want you."

I couldn't lie if my heart didn't skip when he said that.

"I'm not some toy you can just tug back and forth."

"You're not a toy to me."

"That's why you play with my emotions." I shot back turning to look into those golden eyes that send shivers down my spine. It's been so long since I've stood this close to Jake and it's taking everything to not just jump into his arms.

But being my mate, he sensed that too.

"Play with me back," he entices leaning closer to me. "then I'll show you how much you mean to me."

"You have a wife."

"I told you I don't have a wife." He corrected "well…not yet."

And I scoffed.

"You're immoral." I spat at him. "You string me back and forth between Neytiri and…"

"You didn't even ask me who it was." He grinned.

There was a pause for a moment.

And I already knew what he was going to say,

"But you're right. I shouldn't have went back and forth between Neytiri and you. For what's it worth, I wanted to be a good man to her is all. But," he says kissing my wrist and the heat that ignited through my very body.

"I love you and regardless of if Neytiri and I are on good terms or if the sex is good. I still only think about you." He replies staring into my eyes.

"Jake,"

"It's over between Neytiri and I." Jake tells me.

"You're insane right now! You don't know what you want!"

He steps even closer.

"I want you."

"It's the mate serum!" I reminded him again. "It's making you act crazy, are you really throwing away your entire life for….for…"

And I stopped speaking when I realize how close he was now.

"Jake. Don't be fucking stupid"

"Guess I'm stupid."

"JAKE!"

"It's you baby,"

"Shut up right now" I growled "are you even listening to yourself?! You cancelled your entire wedding for…"

"I never said I cancelled the wedding."

"Oh really…so you and your ex are still going to wed…." I reply sarcastically.

"Uh no." He replies "like I said, Neytiri and I are done with."

Then I realized why he stood here now.

"Jake, No!"

"Marry me."

"NO." I denied and he steps even closer. I couldn't even breathe.

"I expected you to say that"

"Jake you don't know what you…"

Then he grabs my face, it was so stern. So intimidating.

"I know what I want," he says "it's you who doesn't know."

My heart was pounding.

I began to back away from him only to trip and tumble onto a massive stumb.

"Jake, i…"

He crouches down closer to me grabbing one of my legs and kissing the inner knees.

"I'm not asking for you to marry me tommorrow, or a month, or even a year from now. I want you to willingly be with me. I know I can treat you better than him."

He kisses upwards laying my leg on his shoulders as he continues.

It didn't take a genius to know my body was begging for his touch. My cunt was practically sobbing for him.

"Jake," I trailed off as he lips begin lick my inner thighs while his hands went to the thin fabric of my skirt.

"You don't even have to say yes to me, but I know, if I was to ever marry anyone. It's only you baby."

His index finger rub between my folds refusing to move more until I give him what he wanted.

"Fuck Jake,"

Then he stops. Giving me time to collapse from the small bit of pleasure. He knew it. I was going just as crazy as he was.

"Say it." Jake ordered "I wanna hear you say it."

"Please" I muttered but he refused to continued even when I tried to wiggle my own hips on his fingers but he spanks my ass.

"Did I say you can play with yourself?"

I shouldn't crave this,

I shouldn't want him,

This wasn't right,

Yet I…

"Please" I begged letting out a huff.

"Say it. Vera."

"Jake."

Then he spanks me again.

"Say. It."

"Please fuck me!" I let out and with that his first finger enters me and my eyes immediately roll back. It's only worse when he leans down to lick in between.

My hands immediately latched around his head letting my fingers run through his hair. I'm succumbed to just moans now.

"Oh god!" I let out. He pulls his finger out to replace them with his tongue as he spears into me.

I've never felt this before, I was never briefed on sex. Not like this, not like how Jake touched me.

"Jake!"

He won't let up.

My toe curl, and I legs began to shake uncontrollably.

"Jake, I think."

He refuses to pull away,

Not until,

"Jake, I…"

That familiar build up as he laps around my clit while still finger fucking me.

Then he adds a second finger flicking his tongue over my the sensitive bulb. Jake laps around me like he knew I loved this.

Then I realized I truly was made just for him, every inch of me loved him.

Craved him,

Needed him,

Even on the brink of holding everything together,

"I….i'm…I think I'm…."

Like he knew if I was made for him,

Then all it takes is this flick of wrist and I would…

"Jake!" I shouted as every single nerve awakens and I'm rushed with the sensation of sheer pleasure. He sucks down on me, drinking every bit of my orgasm into his mouth. Before finally pulling away, I collapse back down to the ground.

"Yeah. It's that. I knew it." He mumbled. He's been craving sex like a demonic creature. Fucking Neytiri nonstop and now that's he's had my cum. It was this that he craved.

The only thing that will subside his hunger.

Was me.

Jake towers back over me, looking into my eyes, hunger in them as they began to dilate into massive pools of blackness.

Without hesitation he leans down to kiss me and I lick that bit of myself off his tongue.

He's a bit surprised how much effort the RDA put into creating me. I was perfect to him. My lip, the taste of me, how my skin felt, even the way I moaned was perfect to Jake.

Nobody gave him the same effect,

"We're not done" Jake muttered off of my lips. "Not even close"