LVIII. Children of the Inbetween

For a single moment, instinct overrode logic.

But a moment was all that was needed for me to pounce.

I collided against the foul-smelling wolf-girl; solid, marble skin striking hot, unyielding flesh. She grappled with me, the momentum of our impact flinging us out into the hall and against the opposing wall. It collapsed like a house of cards around us in an explosion of plaster, steel panels, and wooden beams.

Beyond the wreckage, the snarling she-wolf landed flat on her back, spine, skull, and muscled flesh smacking the floor in a thunderous crash, hardwood boards cracking and splintering beneath her.

I bared my teeth, intending to rip into her throat, everything in me screaming to annihilate the threat―

―a pair of arms wrapped around me, cords of steel that imprisoned me and dragged me off of her.

I shrieked in protest and flailed against their grip, bending down in an attempt to clamp my teeth around their already-mangled limbs, but their arms were too low, out of my reach.

"Calm down."

I inhaled sharply, the abhorrent stench flooding my airways and twisting through my lungs with a nauseating lurch. But there was no accompanying hysteria; there was no rage or fear or aggression in the face of danger. Instead, peace struck me like a sudden slap to the face, a violent blast that drove away every other emotion.

I grew limp, staring down at Leah's collapsed form with only a vague sense of shock.

"Leah, don't move," Carlisle instructed, kneeling beside her. Edward hovered at her other side, worry clear in his expression.

"I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth.

"Allow me to be the judge of that," Carlisle insisted, and with her consent proceeded to examine her.

Dread and guilt rose as one, creeping through my chest. But it was not enough to pierce the vast calm that enveloped me. My limbs remained heavy, posture placid. Even altering my expression into something remorseful was far more difficult than anticipated, but it was the one thing I could do.

Not that it mattered. Leah didn't glance my way once.

When Carlisle concluded that she hadn't suffered a concussion or a spinal cord injury, he permitted her to finally sit up.

"Must I say I told you so?" Edward sighed, grasping Leah's hand and gently pulling her to her feet. Carlisle stood alongside them, eyes keenly watching Leah's every move.

"No need. Lesson learned," Leah griped, shaking white dust and chunks of plaster out of her hair. Finally, she acknowledged me, face twisting into a fierce glower. "Fucking hell, Isabella. You're twenty pounds of nightmare in a five pound corpse."

"Leah…I―"

"Save it," she snapped, nearly vibrating out of her skin. "This was clearly a mistake."

"No. Leah, wait." I didn't shout, though it was a near thing, but I did my best to impress my desperation upon every word, struggling against the weight of emotional sedation.

"What?!" she demanded furiously, whirling back around to face me, hands fisted at her side.

"I'm sorry," I said slowly, with every ounce of sincerity I could muster.

She worked her jaw, teeth grinding harshly against each other. "Fine," she finally bit out. "I'll come back when I feel less like ripping your face off."

Relief washed faintly against the calm. "Thank you."

"Water under the bridge, you homicidal popsicle," Leah said sharply, angrily stalking away.

"Isabella, are you alright?"

I swiveled my head back and caught the worried gazes of Carlisle and Edward now directed at me.

"I feel sluggish," I admitted, the haze of tranquility preventing me from being able to properly feel much else.

"I think that'll do, Jasper," Edward said, his eyes lifting towards my captor.

In the next instant, I nearly begged for the false sense of contentment to return. The guilt and shame was a punch to the gut, a sickening feeling that brutally climbed alongside the fiery ache in my throat like shattered glass.

I barely registered Jasper releasing his hold around me and stepping away.

"Isabella."

I looked up towards Edward. The thickening of venom across the surface of my eyes did nothing to impair my flawless vision.

"It's okay."

Irritation shot through me and a growl rumbled in my chest. "Leah is my friend," I hissed. "And I hurt her."

Edward no longer seemed concerned for Leah. "I'm aware," he said patiently. "But Leah is the one at fault. We told her you needed time to learn to control yourself. Bursting in here mere hours after your transformation was foolishness on her part."

Jasper hovered close, but made no move to restrict me, physically or emotionally.

"I don't care whose fault it was," I breathed. "It's not okay."

"Perhaps not," Carlisle agreed quietly, "but no one was critically injured. As a newborn vampire, it's the best we can hope for."

Before I could argue with him, Jasper cut in, "We should get everything fixed up before Esme returns home."

I grimaced and cast a look around. Fortunately, most of the third-floor library remained intact, with only the exception of a few shattered floorboards and the busted wall.

"I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, Iz!" Emmett called, appearing suddenly on the other side of the demolished wall, a broom and dustpan in one hand and a trash bin in the other. "This was more than expected."

"That's not very reassuring," I sighed and instantly regretted it, the air that whooshed through my lungs still tasting of Leah's repulsive wolf odor. This time, I was able to ignore my predatory instincts, choosing instead to focus on the destruction before me. "What can I do to help?"

"It's probably best if you stay out of the way," Jasper said kindly. "You can sit over here."

"Yeah, watch and learn, Iz," Emmett said cheerfully. "Soon, you'll be fixing up your own broken walls!"

Carlisle seemed less amused by Emmett's antics. "I'll go retrieve the saw," he said and vanished in a gust of wind.

Edward pushed back the sofa near the broken floor until it was well out of the way, before gesturing for me to take a seat.

Unwilling to cause any more damage, I did as told and gingerly sat at the edge of the cushion. Edward sat on one side and Jasper leaned casually against the armrest at my other side. Though they didn't crowd me too closely, it was clear they were keeping near enough to intervene in case I lost control again.

"May I?" Edward requested, gesturing towards the top of my head.

"What is it?"

"Only a bit of plaster," he explained, reaching over with one hand and gently dislodging the pieces out of my braids.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Edward smiled at me sympathetically, but didn't bother to ask if I was okay again. Considering the way I'd nearly snarled at him the first time he did, who could blame him?

I fisted my hands in my lap, the soft white fabric of my gloves now covered in dust.

My lack of control was utterly terrifying. Even with Leah's scent still triggering my feral aggression, I couldn't help but think about the other times that I'd been on the verge of attacking those meant to be my family. Who would I hurt next?

The question haunted my thoughts, understanding that it wasn't a matter of if, but when.

By now, Carlisle had returned and was using a circular saw to cut out the cracked floorboards. Meanwhile, Emmett had cleared out all the debris, though there remained a thin film of dust that couldn't totally be swept away. Edward and Jasper kept silent while I sat and watched the others work. Emmett was right. It was only fair that I learned to clean up my own messes.

Occasionally, they would disappear to fetch supplies they had in stock for incidents such as these. And Emmett kept a running commentary, explaining to me everything he was doing and why. It helped to shift my focus away from utter self-reproach, though not entirely.

With all the damage to the wall that Emmet was surprisingly meticulous about repairing, it wasn't unexpected that Carlisle was finished long before him. By the time Emmett was layering the restored wall with fresh plaster, night had fallen and the lights in the long room had automatically flickered to life.

The glowing strands of filament inside each of the bulbs above me was mesmerizing. For a while, I grew distracted, gazing up at the luminous gold light refracting across wires and layers of glass, completely captivated.

When I heard a pair of footsteps approaching, I switched my gaze towards the open doorway in a single flash. Heels clicked in perfect cadence, their stride significantly longer than Alice's.

"It's just Rosalie," Edward warned me in a low, calm voice.

I acknowledged his words with a small glance in his direction, before returning a watchful gaze towards the doorway. The girl who appeared was a vision. Whatever flimsy memories I had of her did not hold a candle to the loveliness of her face or to the shining waves of spun gold that framed it. Her red lips curled into a cautious, but stunning, smile. "Isabella, hello."

"Rosalie," I said.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked, approaching me with slow, deliberate steps. She held a manila folder in one hand, tucked against her side.

I cast my eyes down, the morose feeling settling heavy in my heart. "As well as can be expected," I sighed, air hissing through my airways, bringing me no relief. "I hope Leah returns soon."

When she did, I would be prepared; whether I learned to control my emotions or Jasper controlled them for me didn't matter. I needed to know what had changed. According to both my journals and dim memories, Leah hadn't shifted. Not prior to my abduction. And Edward's memories didn't reveal much to that end. He had been solely focused on finding me. I needed to know from Leah herself what had happened.

"She shouldn't have done what she did," Rosalie said with a frown, "but I doubt she will make the same mistake again. We'll make sure you're both ready next time."

I smiled, feeling reassured for the first time. "Thank you, Rose."

"I don't think this is a good idea," Edward cut in, voice layered with tension; a response to Rosalie's unspoken thoughts.

But Rosalie was not swayed. "It should be her choice," she said firmly.

Behind her, Emmett finished up and set his tools down on the tarp, turning to watch us with cautious eyes. And Carlisle, who'd wandered off towards his study a few hours prior, reappeared, hovering under the archway of the door.

It wasn't difficult to guess why they were all on edge.

"This is about the children?"

Everyone was a frozen statue around me, their eyes locked on me.

"Yes," Rosalie said quietly. "Do you remember them?"

"No," I said. "But I can hear their heartbeats."

Rosalie tensed, but when I made no move to initiate a hunt, she relaxed the slightest degree. "It's good. That you know who they are, I mean. They remember you."

I stared. "They do?"

But, I suppose it shouldn't have surprised me. According to my notes, Renesmée had remembered Bella. Hybrids, like vampires, had photographic memory. I couldn't remember the horror of birthing them, but they would know it always.

"One of them, the boy, is a shield like you," Edward explained, reaching over and gently wrapping his fingers and wide palm around my gloves hands. "But I can read the thoughts of the girl. She thinks of you often."

"Oh."

My stone heart became a heavy mass in my chest, threatening to collapse under the weight of familiar grief. They too were victims of Serena and Joham's depraved schemes. None of us had asked for any of this, least of all them.

But I couldn't help them. I couldn't even help myself.

I reluctantly looked back to Rosalie. "What do you need from me?"

She lifted the folder in hand and opened it. From this angle, I could not see what was written, but I counted two sheets of paper, and a ballpoint pen balanced at the center.

"They don't have names yet," she explained, angling the folder down for me to see.

It was a pair of birth certificates.

"You haven't named them already?"

Rosalie shook her head. "Not without your permission."

"You don't have to, Isabella," Edward assured me, squeezing my hands.

For a moment, I listened to their fluttering hearts, beating away a floor below me. Could they understand us? Did they know what was being asked of me?

But if they didn't, they would still remember. And someday they would understand that I wouldn't name them. Would I reject them, the same way that my own parents had rejected me for so long, just waiting for the day I was old enough to leave their house?

"Let me see those papers," I requested, lifting my hands from beneath Edward's. He didn't protest, merely moving his hand out of the way, but scooting closer to my side. His proximity was both reassuring and distressing.

Rosalie stacked the papers atop the folder and handed them to me alongside the pen. "The one on top is the girl's."

The birthdate was listed as April 18, 2005, my death date. I didn't ask how they knew the time of her birth.

Instead, I stared blankly at the certificate on my lap, thoughts racing. Surely I had once come up with names I would one day want to name my children. But if I had, I couldn't remember. The past felt far too unreal.

In the end, I thought of their names: Esme Anne, Rosalie Lillian, and Mary Alice, and took blatant inspiration.

With all the caution and delicacy that I could muster, I lowered the tip of the ballpoint pen and lightly wrote:

Lillianne Alicia Cullen

When I set the pen down and lifted my eyes, I was met with Rosalie's wide-eyed gaze.

"What? You don't like it?"

Perhaps it wasn't particularly original of me, but they had beautiful names. And if anyone deserved to be honored, it was the woman who cared for my daughter, when I would not.

"No, it's lovely," Rosalie assured me, voice thick with some unnamed emotion. "Thank you."

"Ooh," Emmett said, casually breaking up the sensitive moment in the only way he could. "Are you going to name the other tyke after one of us?"

"Sure," I agreed, shooting him an easy smile. "Not you though."

Beside me, Jasper snickered.

Emmett huffed and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Typical."

I shuffled the papers and deliberated on the boy's name for a much shorter length of time.

Vivianno Lyle Cullen

"That's beautiful," Rosalie decided, once she'd retrieved the papers and read it out loud.

From my peripheral vision, I caught Carlisle's look of surprise. But he didn't ask my reasons for taking inspiration from his name, and I didn't volunteer them.

Rosalie lowered the folder, certificates tucked away, and hesitated, before offering, "Would you like to see them?"

I stared at her, vividly recalling the way I'd reacted towards Leah. "That sounds incredibly dangerous. And stupid."

"It is," Jasper agreed, exasperated. "But we'll be here this time. Leah took us all by surprise."

I frowned.

Again, Edward offered, "It can wait."

And again, I thought of them listening to how I would respond.

"It can't," I decided. Regardless, it was best to get this over with now. If I waited, their unusual existence would only continue to agitate me. "I trust you will all keep me from hurting anyone else?"

I met each of their individual gazes, comforted by the determination my words evoked.

"Then let's go," I said, shooting to my feet in a single instant.

Jasper and Edward were quick to follow, bracketing me on either side.

Despite the obvious reluctance in her gaze, Rosalie turned, and along with Carlisle, lead the way. Emmett shot me a wink as we passed by, but didn't follow, instead turning to gather the scattered tools and leftover plaster.

They lead me down to the second floor landing and in the direction of Rosalie's room. The closer we were, the louder the quick thumping of their hearts grew, until they practically buzzed in my ears. Flames exploded across the length of my throat with vengeance and the flow of pumping blood caused fresh venom to flood my mouth. My muscles locked in anticipation.

The second she pushed open the door, I was hit with a warm wave of their smell.

But it did not send me into a frenzy, as we'd all expected. The perfume of their scent was sweet and vampiric, not appetizing in the least.

Once again, they were statues around me, Edward and Jasper holding onto either side of me, Rosalie and Carlisle watching me with apprehension.

I swallowed back the venom pooled on my tongue. "I'm fine."

Their disbelief was not unexpected.

"It's not so strange," I assured them. "What do you know of the hybrid Nahuel?"

"He resides in the Mapuche territory with his aunt," Jasper said. "He is venomous and turned her after his birth."

I was not surprised to find that it was Jasper who had interrogated Serena. And I would be even less surprised to find she'd met her death at his hands.

"Exactly," I said. "And Huilen did not harm him after the completion of her transformation. She cared for him and raised him. I'll keep my distance, but I assure you, I haven't lost control. Not yet."

Rosalie appeared the most relieved, and turned, leading us into her and Emmett's shared bedroom.

Inside was Alice. She stood in one corner of the room, the area refurbished into a small nursery, where she held one of them―the boy. It'd been three days since his birth, but already he sat upright in her arms, physically appearing shy of a full year.

Vivianno tilted his head in my direction, glossy hair, the exact same color as my own, waving lightly against his forehead. His eyes were doe-like, a gentle blue framed by long, curling lashes, and his cheeks were round and pink―the faultless picture of enchanting.

"I know," Alice murmured, when he patted her cheek and looked back towards me with an inquisitive gaze.

I looked away and focused on the second bassinet.

Inside, the girl slept peacefully, chest rising and falling quickly. She was identical to her brother, with the exception of her hair. It was the same shade, but had no curl to it, fluffing around her face in a soft brown halo.

Rosalie broke away from our huddle under the archway of her door, crossing the room to hover at Lillianne's side, gazing down at her tenderly.

It was Carlisle who spoke next, voice grave, "We never could have imagined this was possible."

"I did," I said, eyes growing distant, recalling with perfect clarity every word I'd written. "I knew it was possible."

As one, all eyes shot towards me, varying degrees of shock coloring their expressions.

"You knew?" Rosalie asked. I couldn't fully decipher the weight of emotions that suddenly snagged through her voice. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I stared, uncomprehending. "Why would it matter?"

"Isabella," Edward spoke from beside me, voice tight, fingers flexing against my shoulder and forearm where he held me on my right side. "Did you know you would be forced to carry a terminal pregnancy?"

His eyes were as hard as flint, boring into me.

I didn't immediately answer. His question was familiar, hitting me with a sharp sense of déjà vu.

"Isabella, did you know Tyler would lose control of his van that day?"

Would I always do this? Would I always cause him so much anguish? It hardly seemed fair. Especially when none of it had ever been my intention.

When I remained silent for too long, Edward reached his own conclusions.

"Why didn't you tell us?" he whispered, voice catching oddly, a chiming bell forced to an abrupt and jarring standstill.

"Why would it matter?" I repeated, more harshly this time, a mixture of guilt and anger blooming hotly in my chest. "None of us foresaw Serena coming. Not even me."

Edward's tortured look caused shame to curdle in my gut. "I know. I am so sorry."

I shook my head in a swift, jerking motion. "It's not your fault," I assured him forcefully. "On that, you can trust me."

"But why didn't you tell us this was a possibility at all?" Rosalie insisted. "We could've helped you."

I frowned. "Helped me? How?"

"Rosalie," Edward snarled. "Drop it."

"Why should I?" she snapped, crossing her arms. "Maybe it would've been what she wanted. It didn't have to be like this."

"No," Edward denied sharply. "It's what you would've wanted for her."

A little late, I caught onto Rosalie's meaning. She was imagining a different world―a world in which I stayed human long enough to choose motherhood; a world in which Edward and I had a child of our own.

But that world didn't exist. Renesmée didn't exist. And never would.

"How do you know?" Rosalie hissed at Edward. "Did you ever ask her?!"

From my peripheral vision, I caught Edward's pained expression.

Rage twisted violently through me and I saw red―

"That's enough."

―the rage buckled and collapsed, drowned and washed away by a sweeping, all-consuming calm.

"Isabella and I are going for a walk," Jasper decided tersely.

The peace made me heavy and compliant. I didn't protest, even when Edward stepped aside, allowing Jasper to guide me out of the room. The others remained eerily silent as we glided down the stairs and exited through the back glass doors of the house.

Outside, Jasper lead me across the field and along the edge of the roaring river. Even in the dark, under an endless expanse of dreary black clouds, everything remained clear as day. I could pick out every blade of grass, see through the layers of water currents beside us, all the way down to all it held within its shadowy depths.

Then, in one fell swoop, the false ease gave away to fury―

I flew back, away from Jasper's grip, growling viciously.

Jasper turned to face me, hardly appearing threatened.

"Why are you angry?"

"Why the hell do you think?!" I snarled, falling into a crouch, the image of Edward's distress coming back into sharp focus, as clear as the moment I'd witnessed it.

Jasper remained the image of patience. "Our kind has the capability of thinking at lightning speed," he explained calmly. "The problem is, we can act even quicker than that. You need to start learning how to think things through."

I sneered. "What? Think before I act? That's your advice?" I asked with an edge of mockery.

"It's the difference between a temperamental newborn and a vampire who has the ability to exercise self-control," he continued. "It's the difference between maintaining your friendship with Leah or killing her in a sudden fit of violent temper."

I quickly sobered, recalling my attack against Leah and growing sick to my stomach with guilt. The image of her body cracking against the floorboards remained crystal clear in my mind's eyes, disallowing me to forget all the pain I'd caused.

"So, tell me why you're angry," Jasper said. "Here, where no one will be hurt."

Instantaneously, I straightened out of my crouch and acquiesced with a lurching nod.

"She has no right," I hissed, anger beginning to simmer hotly beneath my skin anew. "Edward did nothing wrong. I never discussed the possibility of carrying a hybrid myself because I didn't want to. Not at the time. And maybe I could've changed my mind, but everything with Edward was still so new. And then, we were running out of time. So it doesn't matter that I never told her! It wouldn't have made a difference."

"What will you do?"

"I don't know," I snarled. "Rip her head off!"

Jasper smiled. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

Everything went red, and suddenly, I was on the ground, Jasper containing my flailing limbs, wrapped around me like twisting iron bars.

I shrieked in protest, but I could find no way to break out of his secure hold.

"Isabella, you need to calm down."

"Fuck you, Jasper," I snarled, still struggling against him.

"It's either you do it," he said. "Or I do it for you."

"Don't you fucking dare!" I howled. But my efforts slowed involuntarily, unwilling to be doused into false compliance, a puppet for him to maneuver as he pleased.

"…Do you really want to hurt Rosalie?"

I deflated, face falling flat against a patch of wet moss as I replaced the image of a hurt Leah, with Rosalie. "No," I whispered. "I don't."

"I thought so," he said. "I trust you can manage if I let you go?"

The anger still seethed, bubbling dangerously in my chest. But I knew, I could choose not to give into it.

"I will," I sighed, the scent of wet earth flooding my lungs and serving to clear my head.

Finally, Jasper released me, and I vaulted away, springing to my feet, relieved to be free at last.

Belatedly, I mumbled a grudging, "Sorry."

To my surprise, Jasper merely laughed. "No harm done, Iz."

I turned to him with a look of disbelief.

"I'm serious," he said, walking alongside the riverbed at a disgustingly slow human pace. I reluctantly followed. "For a newborn, you're not so bad."

I scowled. "Thanks, I think."

"But the circumstances are different," he said. "So I shouldn't be too surprised."

I'd written enough on Jasper to know exactly what he meant. So yes, I supposed training an army of savage newborn vampires was nothing compared to my lone self.

"Where's Edward?" I asked. In all the fury I'd directed towards Rosalie, I'd forgotten that it was him who truly needed my attention. I needed him to know with certainty that Rosalie was wrong.

"Scouting ahead."

"What?" I asked. "Why does he need to do that?"

Jasper turned to me, expression suddenly grave. "We need to be careful, Iz," he explained. "No humans should be near our property, but I'm unwilling to risk it. We don't want to make things worse before you can leave Forks."

"Before I can leave Forks?" I demanded. "What about the rest of you?!"

We halted, Jasper eyeing me seriously. "Izzy, we still have a cover to maintain. We can't all disappear without warning. Not in light of your death."

The abrupt fear stole the air from my dead lungs. "But," I said, remaining eerily still. "Where will I go?"

Jasper's gaze softened. "You won't go alone," he assured me. "Esme estimates that she can have the new house ready within another month. Once that's done, she will take you and Edward up there with her, until we can join you in June."

"Oh," I said, sudden relief easing away the dread. "But don't they also have appearances to keep up?"

"No. Carlisle officially pulled Edward and Alice out of school," he explained. "And Esme's presence in town isn't as visible, so they won't be missed."

"What will the rest of you do?"

Jasper shrugged. "The same as usual. Rosalie, Emmett, and I will graduate in two months. And Carlisle's original resignation letter wasn't intended to discharge him until June, so he'll be seeing that through as well. It'll cast less suspicion if we depart when we announced we would be back in February. Alice will stay to watch the children while Rosalie is unavailable. And then, there's the matter of your death."

I frowned. "What about it?"

"We're working on falsifying it," he said. "I'll be leaving later tonight to search out some nearby morgues. We're first looking to find a body similar to yours."

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "You can keep the gruesome details to yourself, Jazz."

"If you're sure," he teased.

"I'm sure," I grumbled. "Can I see Edward now?"

"Yes," he allowed. "Wait here."

Jasper darted off into the thick of the woods, unexpectedly leaving me unsupervised. Not that there was anything or anyone in danger from me here. Even the surrounding thicket remained strangely silent.

I crouched down by the river and sat. There was hardly any light, most of the moonrays consumed by dense, rolling clouds, but I still caught the barest of reflections. I gazed down into glowing red eyes, no less frightening than the first time I'd seen them. Somewhere in the distance, a clap of thunder crashed and shook the surrounding forests.

I heard Edward's footsteps before I saw him, but neither of us broke the silence. Soon, he reached my side and quietly dropped down, sitting to my right by the river's edge.

I stared at the wavering reflection now beside mine, equally as inhuman as my own. Except, Edward somehow wore immortality better. His features were gentle, where mine were rigid; his eyes warm, where mine were cruel and unblinking; his posture serene, where I remained motionless―a lethal image on the water; a venomous snake poised to strike.

"Admiring yourself, love?" he suddenly teased.

My temper flared, sharp and astringent. "That's not what I'm doing," I hissed.

His smile vanished and with it, my anger.

"Sorry," I sighed and deeply breathed in his comforting scent, sweet like sunlight and wildflowers. "I'm sorry," I repeated. "You shouldn't listen to anything that Rosalie said. I―"

"I know," he assured me. "I heard." But his smile didn't return. Instead, he gestured towards the still image painted upon the moving waters and asked, "Tell me what you really see."

I stared at the alien creature, cold and unmoving.

"I see a stranger," I said, listening to the delicate shimmering of my tinny voice. "From adult, to teenager, to pregnant, to dead, to vampire." Never mind the fact that I could barely remember the pregnancy itself; I still felt the echoes of it. Something had grown inside of me and been brutally removed.

"In one of my journal entries, I wrote about feeling afraid," I continued. The longer I spoke, the quieter my voice grew. "If my outward appearance could be taken away so easily, had inward parts of myself been taken away too? I've drowned, died, lived, and then nearly died again so many times since then, until I finally died for the second time. And now…it feels like too much has been taken away. I feel like…I have nothing left to give."

Edward reached over and gently took my gloved hand. His thumb rubbed against the skin of my wrist. "I know," he murmured. "None of us were given a second chance at being human, as you were, only for it to be taken away. But you know our stories. You know how much we've all lost."

I thought back to the stories I'd written.

Edward, forced to watch his own parents die, and then left to die on his own, only to become something he loathed. (This tragedy, I'd unintentionally experienced for myself.)

Alice, discarded in a mental asylum by her vile father; tormented and abused.

Jasper, forced into a brutal and wretched life of carnage and slaughter.

Rosalie, assaulted in the cruelest way imaginable and abandoned to die.

Esme, mistreated, forced to watch her child die, only to inevitably take her own life.

"I do know," I said. "What do you suggest?"

Edward's grip around my hand tightened comfortingly. "Receive the love you're given," he said kindly. "And then, receive some more. And when you're ready, we'll be here."

I finally lifted my head and met his melting golden eyes under the cover of night. "Ready for what?"

Edward smiled. "For whatever you wish."

"…Even revenge?"

He did not falter. "You wouldn't be the first."

Of course not. They were no strangers to playing judge, jury, and executioner. Rosalie had; Edward had on Esme's behalf. They all had on my behalf, against James' coven; against Serena; against Joham, if I were to ask for it. The Cullens were the most dangerous when one of their own was threatened.

And now, so was I.

"Come," Edward said, suddenly flitting to his feet and holding out his hand towards me. "There's something I want to show you."

I flew up and placed my hand in his. Unlike the others, Edward didn't force me to practice a slower pace. Instead, we flashed like lightning, darting swiftly over the black field and closing in on the house in a matter of seconds.

We ducked under the cover of the porch in time to avoid the unleashing of a torrential downpour. Rain abruptly fell in sheets, striking the roof of the house in deafening waves.

The rich scent of fresh rainwater was luscious, swirling pleasantly through my lungs, but we didn't linger. Edward lead me inside and across the sprawling first floor, until we reached the grand piano, perched atop a small dais near the spiraling staircase.

"Careful," he warned me, guiding me to sit on the long bench.

"I know," I said ruefully, cautiously sitting beside him, unwilling to even touch the instrument. I was all too aware of the raw strength I now possessed and the piano was so obviously precious to him. "Have you finished composing my song?"

Edward gazed down at me in surprise. "You remember?"

"No, not entirely," I said truthfully. I knew of his own memories, but the melody of my song escaped me. The more I tried to invoke it, the more elusive it became. "Will you play it?"

"I'd be honored to," he said, flashing me a sweet smile and turning to the keys.

The song started playing and I was displaced in time.

My chest warmed and a smile spread across my face as I swayed to the joyful song, a human memory unfurling across my mind. It was dim and clouded, as though I were viewing it through a dark screen, but it overlapped with the present.

Edward had been more cheerful then, eyes bright and without worry. Now, an undercurrent of distress pervaded him, shown in the tightness of his eyes and the tense line of his shoulder blades.

But he continued playing with ease, fingers dancing across the piano keys skillfully, never once missing a beat. And when the song slowed, transcending into something nebulous and full of sorrow, his eyes darkened and his shoulders curved in, every agonizing emotion becoming audible under the movement of his fingers.

And like my memory, the song shuddered to a jarring halt, still incomplete.

"I…I'm sorry," Edward murmured, eyes narrowed as he stared down at his hands. "I thought I could complete it. But still, there's something missing…"

I smiled up at him in what I hoped was a reassuring expression. "What's the rush?" I teased. "We have eternity now, remember?"

His eyes softened with unbridled affection. "Of course."

"Play something else for me instead," I suggested.

The distraction worked perfectly. Edward's expression grew thoughtful as he turned back to the piano, fingers hovering above the keys for a fraction of second, before launching into another song, nearly as exquisite as my own.

I carefully leaned against him, unwilling to obstruct him, but also wishing to be closer.

His sweet music flooded my ears and tenderly caressed my soul, imbuing me into the depths of his being. I smiled, feeling at peace for the first time since I'd risen from the ashes of my humanity, comforted and surrounded by all that was Edward.

It was much later, when I noticed an unexpected change in him. He made no errors, did not hesitate in any single press of the keys, but suddenly, Edward smiled, his countenance growing lighter and softer.

I stared up at him with inquiring eyes.

Without waiting for me to voice my question, he said gently, "Esme is home."

A/N: I was gonna include Esme's return, but the chapter got too long so you'll all have to wait until the next chapter x)

Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed the update! Let me know your thoughts please! And thank you to Raviyoli for all your help :)