Burnsie on Board Mr Burns reveals in his youth he was a champion snowboarder skeet shooter. A made up old timers sport probably from him going senile. However he got disqualified the sport banned forever.
When Bart sprays snow at his car he has him kidnapped and made to take part in the town olympics at the snowboard event. However his opponent is a boy from Shelbyville...
Elsewhere Oscar mucks about in snowman building competition.
Plot
"No! Two innocent lives have already been lost!" Martin says dramatically up at a silhouette. He is in his winter clothes.
"Martin out of the way! I'm snowboarding!" Bart yelled decapitating his snowmen.
"They maybe made of snow but they're the best friends I ever had!" Martin yelled as Bart decapitated his snowmen from a snowboarding jump.
"Yeah yeah... big deal..." Bart sighed.
"Martin your snowmen have fallen to my powers! My political powers!" Oscar gloated standing with Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi, Chairman Mao and Ramses brandishing weapons like chains and clubs.
"It's showtime!" said Abraham Lincoln angrily swinging his chain.
"Oz no wackiness!" Bart told him off for randomness.
Oscar glared at him.
All the local kids were playing in the snow outside a memory loss clinic...
"Why are we playing outside a memory loss clinic again?" Sherri asked.
"I don't know!" said Nelson forgetting why they picked this particular place to play that day.
Suddenly Mr Burns's limo pulled up with a snowplough up front. He stopped to observe as he put it, the filthy little urchins and their precious organs playing in the snow. It gave him a memory of his childhood. He has a lot of memories of his childhood...
One Christmas out of all the presents he got, he only liked two.
"Flimshaw! Bah!"
A primitive snowboard and a pop gun. Oh and Bobo the teddy bear. Oh wait that was his Christmas present last year. He used his new presents to terrorise his grandfather's employees.
"Out of my way ninnies! This falls well with in your work contract!"
"Smithers? Is what my Grandson yelling true?" Grampa Burns asked his Smithers.
"Uh no. In fact what his doing could be considered harassment. In fact he's just frozen three police officers to slalom around them." said the Smithers.
Mr Burns went on to tell Waylon he discovered a sport that involved snowboarding on a primitive sheet of wood and shooting targets. He put himself through years of gruelling training, exercise and philosophy to prepare for the event. However he got vertigo from his acrophobia and panicked and wildly shot his pistol. He was disqualified and most embarrassingly the sport was banned for ever...
Bart sprayed snow over his limo from shredding.
"Smithers I want to run my own Winter Olympics." said Mr Burns.
"I'll see what your lawyers can cook up sir." said Smithers.
"Excellent. But first, I want that boy flogged!" said Mr Burns angry at Bart spraying snow at his limo.
...
Meanwhile at the Simpsons house it is a snow day that's why Bart is out playing in the snow at memory loss clinics and Oscar is free to cause utter mayhem!
In the Backyard Hugo went outside barefoot wearing only the ragged t shirt and shorts he always wears. Perched on his shoulder was his pet pigeon rat Freckles and Flaps. He was admiring the falling snow as for some reason he didn't feel the cold.
"Hugo! It's fifteen degrees Fahrenheit outside! Put some winter clothes on!" Marge told him.
"Hmmmm... you're right Mom. It's not outside weather today. In fact this is a wonderful day for science! Delicious magical science!" said Hugo going inside trudging barefoot through the snow.
Marge told herself, "How can he stand such cold? Maybe I should take him to see a doctor..."
At Mr Burns's office at the plant.
"Well Smithers did you get back from ringing the olympics bureau?" Mr Burns asked.
"My deepest apologies sir, but they said gathering the whole world together to celebrate you wasn't a good enough reason." said Smithers. "I on the other hand disagree... Mmmmmm!" Smithers thought about a party celebrating Mr Burns. Ugh...!
"Blast! Fine then I'll hold my own olympics and it will be my party and I'll only invite who I want! Now get back on the phone to that world olympics committee and tell them to take their events and-" Mr Burns ranted.
"Shove them sir?" Smithers asked.
"I was going to say postpone them but your idea goes one better Smithers!" Mr Burns smiled.
Smithers went to follow his instructions. "Oh and Smithers, give all the workers the day off to take part in my olympics." said Mr Burns.
"Yes sir," said Smithers.
"And have you had that urchin who sprayed snow at my car flogged?" Mr Burns asked.
"Uh no... I am not allowing a child to be flogged... even kidnapping Bart Simpson and locking up in the Power Plant dungeons was too far sir..." said Mr Smithers.
"Judas!" Mr Burns yelled and it suddenly struck lightning outside. "Have him flogged immediately!
Smithers sighed. Sometimes he wondered what he saw in Mr Burns.
Oscar ran in squirting chocolate sauce everywhere.
(Oscar giggling hysterically).
"Can't I go anywhere without running into you, runt?" Mr Burns yelled.
"Nope! Now what have you done with Bart?" Oscar replied.
...
Homer was in line with his friends at work.
"This better be worth it..." Carl sighed.
"So what do we get in return for taking part in Old Man Burns's olympics?" Homer asked.
"A day off from toiling in the plant on a cold winter day and free Trout-ragious snack bars." said Mr Smithers.
"Woohoo!" said Homer.
"I would have preferred donuts..." said Lenny.
"Mmmmmmm! Donuts..." Homer moaned and drooled.
Then other people in town signed up for the event. Such as famous actor a fish fondling fruitcake Troy McClure.
"Hi I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such winter films as Jingle all the way! And..." said Troy McClure.
"Just sign your name..." Smithers sighed.
And Kang, the green squid alien who is always a reoccurring antagonist ever so often.
"The Twentieth Century belongs to Kang! To Kang!" Kang boomed.
"We're in the Twenty first now, squid head..." said Lenny.
"Oh." said Kang.
Mr Burns then greeted all of his workers and other participants.
"Now remember this day isn't about you it's about me!" said Mr Burns. "So make me proud or you're all fired!"
Everyone booed and jeered him except Hans Moleman who said "Boo-urns." repeatedly.
"No one likes a bootlicker Hans..." said Mr Burns holding a battery operated power drill and turned it on.
Then Burns forced a reunion with the B sharps and they sung a cover of Baby on Board called Burnsie on Board.
"Burnsie on boooooard... Oh how I've adored..."
Oscar winced, baffled.
At home.
Marge was spring cleaning and throwing out junk.
...
Meanwhile the olympics were a disaster... everyone embarrassed themselves...
Homer skiied into a tree distracted by thoughts of stupid sexy Flanders in that skin tight ski suit. Mmmmmmm... Stupid sexy Flanders...
Barney collapsed and had to be saved by a St Bernard dog. He drank the whiskey from the tiny barrel on its collar.
A Cold Assault Stormtrooper from Hoth was whipping Lenny and Carl and another worker making them drag a sled full of radioactive waste barrels across the snow.
Krusty ran over Sideshow Mel in a bobsled.
The old folks from the Springfield retirement home were chased by hungry huskies and Patty and Selma skated onto thin ice and it collapsed on them sending them plunging into an icy lake.
"Smithers for once I feel I've made a grave mistake..." Mr Burns was embarrassed by the antics of the townsfolk.
"Blasphemy!" Smithers yelled. He idolised Mr Burns.
"Madness!" A Persian messenger yelled.
Mr Burns dropped him down the trap door. "This is Springfield!" Mr Burns yelled.
"By the way Smithers has that urchin that sprayed my car with snow been flogged?" Mr Burns asked Smithers.
"Um no sir. I called off the flogging." said Smithers.
"Judas!" Mr Burns yelled and it inexplicably struck lightning outside for dramatic effect.
"I'll pack my bags right now sir..." Mr Smithers gulped and shivered at the very angry Mr Burns.
"No Smithers that won't be necessary. As usual you are my conscious ying to my fiery yang... just uh flog yourself instead." said Mr Burns calming down.
"With pleasure sir..." said Smithers aroused.
"Uh... And bring the boy to me..." said Mr Burns ignoring the mixed signals he was getting from Smithers.
At home.
Marge was looking through a closet full of junk.
"Bart's old PlayStation one... That your father tried to reassemble into an edutainment system..." said Marge. A kindergartener's electronic toy ie like a V Tech or a Leapster computer. The device sparked and caught fire. Marge hastily blew out the flames.
Basically Homer was still in his Thomas Edison phase back then and tried to re-engineer or tinker with random devices. Unfortunately he just ended up breaking them.
"Speaking of your older brother, where is he?!" Marge spoke aloud to herself and Maggie, her youngest daughter. She didn't expect an answer from a baby but spoke to her anyway as mothers do.
"Mr Burns kidnapped him..." said Oscar coming in wearing his winter clothes.
Marge grumbled annoyed. She headed off to the kitchen, possibly or some other room carrying Maggie under arm. Maggie was holding a plushie of the Curious Bear Cub from Happy Little Elves. That goofy, silly green bear cub with the big wet shiny green nose that Oscar likes.
...
Meanwhile at the Simpsons house Marge rang the police to say Mr Burns had kidnapped Bart. Again.
"Again?" Wiggum sighed.
"Yes again, Chief Wiggum..." Marge sighed.
Meanwhile Hugo was upstairs in the attic operating on a device of some sort to get it to work. Presumably it was a doomsday device of some kind.
"A high powered laser cannon. I'm gonna write my name on the moon!" said Hugo tinkering with the laser cannon.
"Uh, Chairface Chippendale already tried to do that, Hugey..." said Oscar.
Hugo sighed.
Meanwhile in Shelbyville Nuclear Power Plant. Aristotle Anandoplis was angry at the Winter Olympics.
"This is a grave insult to the olympics my ancestors invented! Why would anyone hold olympics in bitterly cold weather?! Half the original events were done naked!" Aristotle ranted.
"Sir, some grave news from Springfield. They're holding their own Winter Olympics..." said his assistant.
"They're what?!" Aristotle yelled. "Then we shall send our finest winter athletes to sabotage it! Yes I particularly liked poisoning their drinking water with LSD (Lysergic Acid Dithalimide) for taking back their precious lemon tree... Mwuhahahaha!" He laughed evilly.
After he was done gloating, he felt famished. He ate a piece of baklava. Because he's Greek, duh!
Meanwhile in Shelbyville itself Shelby and his gang were snowball fighting. A kid was on his own snowboarding.
"Who's that kid?" a Shelbyville punk asked.
"Oh that's Larry "Lil Larry" Newell." said Shelby. "Never mind him. He's got a cool wicked streak like all of us Shelbyvillians and a hatred for Springfield so he's one of us. He just likes to keep to himself sometimes."
Larry was snowboarding and looking about.
At the plant.
"I'll fetch Bart from the dungeons right away sir." said Smithers.
"Wait." said Mr Burns softly. "Before you do, I have one of my monologues where I remind the fans why I am so fiendishly evil and resembling Ebenezer Scrooge or the Grinch particularly over the holidays. Bah humbug!"
Smithers sighed and listened to his boss go on about all the evil things he liked.
"Ah, winter. What a joyous time of year. The smell of my overpriced firewood burning in every chimney, (Scrooge...) the warm fur of yet another extinct animal against my skin, (Asshole...) and the generous feeling I get from charging only triple the going rate to light gaudy colored bulbs. (That's just being a dick...)"
"Who says here's no Santa Claus, sir?" Smither brown nosed him.
"I DO!" Mr Burns yelled thumping his desk.
Oscar who broke in to spray Poop Head in green spray paint all over the walls of Mr Burns's office heard him say there was no Santa Claus. He bursted into tears and ran out the office sobbing.
Mr Burns sighed. "Resume your duties Smithers..."
Plot 2
At home.
Oscar was Watching one of the many, many pointless cash grab sequels of the Land Before Time series with his cartoon dinosaur monster Dino.
"Ah. Isn't it wonderful in the Great Valley when you get to have all sort of great stuff like eating tree stars, sliding into waterfalls and playing in the pond bath?" said Littlefoot to Cera.
Ducky suddenly sounded different than usual. BECAUSE HER VOICE ACTRESS WAS MURDERED!
"They should totally do a crossover with Dink the Dinosaur..." said Oscar.
Dino winced baffled.
"Oscar can you help rescue Bart instead of watching cartoons..." Lisa sighed.
Oscar sighed and switched off the cartoon. "TV is depressing after Judith Barsi and Phil Hartman were murdered... thank goodness this is a fanfiction..." He went off somewhere.
...
At Mr Burns's office.
"Look Mr Burns directly in the eyes when he is speaking to you, don't slouch and most importantly don't talk unless he gives you permission to," said Smithers to Bart.
"No problemo." said Bart.
"Silence!" said Smithers.
"Are the young rapscallion Bart Simpson. I suppose you already know who I am." said Mr Burns.
"Yeah you're the old creep who pays my dad slave wages!" said Bart. (Not to mention the numerous horrible things you did to my family...)
"And you're that brat who enjoys spraying snow at helpless vehicles!" Mr Burns grabbed him by his jacket collar and yelled at him.
However Mr Burns calmed down and released him. "Heh heh... but let's say we put that little incident behind us shall we? I have a favour to ask you." Mr Burns asked in a friendly manner. "So you say your father works for me?"
"Simpson sir. One of your mouth breathing knuckle draggers in sector 7G sir," said Smithers.
"Simpson Eh? That's Hubert right?" Mr Burns asked.
"Homer..." said Bart.
"Homab?"
"Homer!" Bart repeated.
"Heemho?"
"Homer!" Bart explained again.
"Homo?"
Bart laughed. "That's a good one! But seriously it's Homer."
"Homer Eh?" asked Mr Burns.
"Yep." said Bart.
...
Sometime later.
"So you say you don't want to to be on my olympics team?" said Mr Burns.
"Nope." said Bart.
"Say, does your father like his job?" Mr Burns asked showing monitors across the plant of various workers. Including Homer sleeping at his work station.
"I'd say he hates it with a white hot passion." said Bart.
"Then he won't mind losing it then!" said Mr Burns taking the inter com.
"Homer Simpson you're fired!" Mr Burns sacked Homer.
"Fired?!" Homer screamed.
"Oh no!" Bart realised. "No job means no pay check! And no pay check means no video games, no comic books, no cherry flavoured squishees! And the essentials! Clothes, shelter, food!" Bart's brain told him.
"Fine, I'll be on your team Mr Burns..." said Bart.
"That's more like it." said Mr Burns, he spoke on the intercom again. "Homer you're not fired."
"Huber why?!" A worker causing a riot cried.
At Mr Burns's office.
"Now Bart that we're on the same team. Every sports team has its members. The bull, the char, the goalie..." said Mr Burns explained.
"What are you getting at..." Bart asked.
"You are my number one player. My go to guy. My bestest buddy." said Mr Burns.
"I'm flattered Mr Burns but..." Bart tried to explain as Mr Burns dragged him off somewhere.
"But enough of the soppy pep talk dribble. Let the training begin!" said Mr Burns.
"Hyerrrk!" Bart yelled as he was suddenly dragged off somewhere.
...
At the Simpsons house.
"Lisa where has your brother got to?" Marge asked.
"Mr Burns kidnapped him to take part in his Olympic Games so he can stroke his own ego..." said Lisa.
"Hmmmm..." Marge sighed.
"Oscar told you that earlier..." Lisa sighed.
Mr Burns put Bart through a gruelling regime.
"It's too early! It's still dark out!" Bart whined as he was in a gym in the early hours of the morning skipping.
"Nonsense! All athletes get up early to be at the peak of physical fitness!" said Mr Burns.
"Then how does doing this give me the edge over them if they're all doing it..." said Bart.
"Oh shut up and skip!" said Mr Burns.
Then Bart was on a machine lifting weights.
"Do I have to this?" Bart asked.
"Yes! You're frail body wouldn't even handle the hiccups! Now lift as if your ten year old life depended on it!" yelled Mr Burns. "And besides you're currently powering my Santa's village so failure is not an option!"
At breakfast Bart got a single tiny green square of kelp.
"What is this?" Bart asked.
"It contains all the vitamins and protein a young athlete needs and comes packed with a kelpy taste!"
Then he forced Bart to watch a programme on Roman gladiators with his eyelids held open like that bit in A Clockwork Orange.
Then Bart took part in virtual Snowboarding.
"This is actually pretty cool!" said Bart.
"Yes but the entertainment gurus say it will never catch on against the SSX Tricky franchise." sId Mr Burns.
"Are you nuts?! The kids will love this! This makes SSX Tricky look like a pile of crap!" said Bart.
Mr Burns had an idea to make money off his virtual snowboarding simulator.
Then Bart was back to doing something he didn't like, pulling a sleigh while being whipped by Mr Burns.
"You are not a man you're a machine!" Mr Burns yelled riding in the sleigh.
"Ow! Quit it!" Bart whined. (No reward is worth this! I have to get out of this! Squishees be damned!)
...
Meanwhile Marge was worried about Bart.
"Okay I'll rescue him!" Oscar sighed. "Now should I take the uzis or the MP5 Heckler and Koch?" Oscar was going through his collection of guns...
Elsewhere the Mr Burns olympics got started. A retired archer from the 1940s olympics fired a flaming arrow into the torch but it hit Quimby's briefcase of money setting light to it.
"Just get that prepubescent elf boy who wears green clothes from that video game!" Quimby yelled trying to save his burning money.
Toon Link appeared. "I'm not an elf! I'm a Hylian!" He yelled.
"Just fire a flaming arrow..." said Quimby
Toon Link sighed and fired a fire arrow into the olympic torch expertly. It sprung to life with burning flames.
Everyone cheered.
Meanwhile
"Hey my gun went off and made a hole in this pipe! It's spraying free beer!" said Wiggum.
All the police officers cheered and got out glasses to collect the beer to drink.
"Oh dear god no!" Moe screamed as it was his beer delivery pipe.
Then...
Reverend Lovejoy was skydiving. "Lord give me the speed to complete this life threatening stunt for a cause I reluctantly support." said Lovejoy.
His parachute malfunctioned and wouldn't open.
"That's not what I meant!" Lovejoy screamed. He smashed comically through an icy lake leaving a Lovejoy shaped hole.
Then Wiggum was fishing.
"I caught one!" said Chief Wiggum catching a tiny fish at ice fishing. A giant monster fish leapt out and swallowed him whole!
"We have a winner! And a classic visual gag!" said Dr Nick announcing Wiggum as the winner.
"Hello beautiful! Wanna come back to my apartment..." said Troy seductively to the fish as he took it and Wiggum home.
"You fish fondling fruitcake!" Dr Robotnik yelled.
Yes Dr Robotnik...
Lenny was skiing.
...
Then Abe challenged Carl to a toboggan race but went off course and bounced off trees, nearly collided with the crowd forcing them to flee and then crashed into the finishing line. "Has anyone seen my dentures..." he groaned.
Oscar laughed at his predicament.
Hugo was building an invention.
"The ultimate snowball auto cannon, for winning at snowball fights!" said Hugo.
"That's just peachy, Fish Breath." said Quiffy as he constantly makes fish related insults. Especially at Hugo.
"Stop making fun of me for eating fish heads!" Hugo snapped.
Quiffy flinched.
Oscar was on a sled pulled by Teddy heading towards Mr Burns's mansion. He finds whipping the sled dogs or in this case a bear cub, cruel. So instead to give Teddy an incentive to mush, he had a salmon on a fishing rod. Teddy drooled as he ran following the tasty bait.
Then he saw some of his his friends in the snow playing. He stopped his sled and gave Teddy the salmon to eat.
"Hey Oz..." said Quiff.
Oscar got out his guitar and strummed. He sang a silly version of Jingle bells.
"Hugey in the snow... Martin's dressed like a girl... Quiffy's brother is an android..."
Quiffy winced.
"That's not the last time I will use that gag from my comics. My successor, the new protagonist Ratchet will sing that silly tune too." said Oscar. (More on him in season 26)
Oscar then got back on his sled and continued his journey.
"Anyway... Let's heckle the snowman building contest..." Hugo said baffled by Oscar's antics.
"I'm pretty sure I was in that comic panel originally..." Yugi whined. He sighed and went home to play children's card games with magic holograms and evil magical powers.
...
Oscar broke onto Mr Burns's estate carrying a submachine gun.
Meanwhile Bart was having a back massage.
"I'll room service you!" Homer screamed. Not today Homer...
Homer suddenly vanished with a pop.
Oscar bursted in.
"Let Bart go!" Oscar yelled. Then he smirked because he saw Bart's butt. "I can see your hiney Bart! Hehehehe."
Bart blushed and wrapped a towel around himself. "You saw nothing!"
"Oh Bart is free to leave whenever he pleases." said Mr Burns
"Really" Bart asked.
"Sure but I was hoping for a slideshow and coaching on patriotism and a sauna." said Mr Burns.
"Hmmmmmmm... sauna..." Bart groaned and drooled. "Sorry Oz but let me have a go in Mr Burns's sauna."
"But your mom is worried sick about you!" Oscar whined.
"So? I'll be home by today. Then I've got a snowboarding competition." said Bart.
"Okay fine but I could use a sauna." said Oscar.
"You're not invited to use my precious sauna..." said Mr Burns.
"Yes I am. If you want to live..." said Oscar.
Mr Burns sighed.
Elsewhere the uni clams were hibernating because it was winter. Hehehehe! Uni clams...
Mr Smithers observed the hibernating Uni Clams.
And the skiing event was postponed because of yodelling Polarchucks. A cartoon polar bear cup that yodels. Their yodelling caused an avalanche.
(cartoon high pitched yodelling)
An avalanche buried everyone in snow.
Ralph licked a street lamppost and his tongue stuck to it. He tugged frantically.
"Haw Haw!" Nelson laughed.
Plot 3
However the heat of the sauna mucked up Mr Burns's brain and he thought he was Jor-El from Superman.
"My son, you do not remember me. I am Jor-El. I am your father. There are questions to be asked and now it is time for you to do so. Here in this... this palace of solitude. We shall try to find the answers together. So my son, speak." said. Mr Burns delirious from the heat or something.
"Say what?!" Bart yelled confused by Mr Burns.
"Oops the fluids in my brain have dehydrated." said Mr Burns drinking a squishee.
"Uh... I better get going now Mr Burns..." said Bart putting his towel on and making a hasty escape with Oscar.
Oscar smirked. "His brain went funny..l"
Out in town during the Burns Winter Olympics.
Ralph was stick stuck to a lamppost/telegraph pole by his tongue. However Inane Brian got stuck too.
Brian whined pulling as his stretchy tongue was stuck to the pole.
Nelson laughed.
"Hey Muntz. You're no longer wicked cool." said Jimbo.
"Why not?!" Nelson frowned.
"Because you geeked out over Andy Williams again. Whoever that is..." said Jimbo.
"Andy Williams is awesome! You take that back!" Nelson yelled.
...
At Home Marge immediately embarrassed Bart in front of Oscar by hugging and kissing him. "Oh my special little guy! I was so worried about you!"
"Mooooom!" Bart whined wriggling about trying to escape with lipstick marks on him from her kissing him.
"I don't know why he doesn't like that. I'd give anything to have a mom who loves me." said Oscar crestfallen.
"You still haven't told us about you and it's been thirteen years Oscar.." said Bart.
"I'll tell you when I'm ready..l" Oscar whined.
The next day Bart attended the most important event 9c Mr Burns's olympics. A snowboarding race between Springfield and Shelbyville. Bart representing Springfield and Kent explained Over Loud jeering from the Springfielders in the crowd when he said Shelbyville that they were to be represented by a boy with pale skin and a small tuft of brown hair called Larry "Lil Larry" Newell.
Bart laughed when he saw Larry. "What a dork!" He snickered.
"Yes that rapscallion doesn't stand a chance!" said Mr Burns to Bart as Bart got ready to race.
However Larry was looking about making sure no one was watching him. Shelby gave him a thumbs up and a friendly wink. Larry giggled evilly as he sabotaged the foot grips on Bart's snowboard.
"Heh heh!" Larry giggled.
The race started with Kent firing the starting gun. "And they're off!"
Bart and Larry raced on their snowboards. Bart was far more skilled than Larry thanks to Mr Burns's training perhaps.
However his foot grips came undone. "Uh?" Bart was confused by this.
Larry smirked evilly and shoved Bart off of his snowboard.
"Gloop!" Bart fell face first in the snow.
"Hey that Larry kid is playing dirty!" Lisa yelled.
"He's from Shelbyville, what do ya expect?" Oscar replied. "Now if you excuse me I have a snowman building competition to ruin..." said Oscar.
Lisa grimaced.
Martin was building more "friends" until Jimbo kicked the snowmen to pieces. Oscar laughed as Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes ruined the light hearted spirit of the event by making monster snowmen. There was a two headed roaring one, a decapitated one playing golf with its own head, one impaled by a tree because Calvin built it around the tree...
"Glad you appreciate my works of art." Calvin smirked. "So what are you building?"
"Well... all your sculptures are hilarious! So I just settled for an army of living pickelhaube wearing German snowmen fighting Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi, Mao Zedong and Rameses." said Oscar.
Living snowmen in pickelhaubes were fighting famous world leaders throughout history.
"It's showtime!" Abraham Lincoln swung a chain.
Calvin rolled his eyes as Oscar giggled at his masterpiece.
...
After Bart fell off his snowboard Mr Burns saw this and decided to save the day by jumping on Bart's snowboard as it passed.
"You are no match for me urchin! I've been doing this since before you were born!" said Mr Burns to a shocked Larry.
"Can he do that?" Kent asked the blue haired lawyer.
"It's his olympics so yes." said Blue Haired Lawyer.
Mr Burns was winning.
"I'm ahead but just to be sure." Mr Burns flicked a tree branch at Larry. It knocked him off of his snowboard.
"Oof!"
Mr Burns won.
The Shelbyville people booed especially Shelby and his gang.
However Mr Burns was disgusted with the prize money offered as it seemed very small to him. He was used to paying far more than it for dinner. He has very expensive dinners...
"This won't even pay for a fried dodo egg and the endangered lesser spotted hog bacon! Bah!"
When the officials won't increase the prize money he storms off ranting that the Winter Olympics is rubbish.
Bart recovered to be surrounded by angry Shelby and his gang. And Larry with a black eye.
"You are so dead Simpson..." said Shelby making a fist.
Bart gulped.
Suddenly a cow fell on Shelby. Squashing him.
Bart grimaced exasperated but relieved.