A/N - This chapter is unedited. Please let me know if you see any issues or where you think the story might drag.

This is almost it - one more chapter and then the epilogue. Let me know what storylines you'd like to see continued.

Let me know if you continue to see any issues with consistency, language/usage, or just too much information. This story will be published on Kindle and Kindle Unlimited at some point once it is finished (new target: September 10?).

Chapter 35

A few days later, the Darcys departed Town to return to Pemberley. Elizabeth felt the quickening just before they left, confirming the new life that was growing within her, and the two had been jubilant when they shared their news with the Gardiners and the Matlocks at dinner two nights before their scheduled departure. Jane was still in bed and could not attend, so Elizabeth had visited her a few days earlier when she knew their mother would not be about.

"Oh, Lizzy," Jane said when Elizabeth entered her room. "You just missed Mama. Our aunt called earlier and took her shopping for a few things."

Elizabeth was aware of this, planning the visit with her aunt to avoid her mother. "That is too bad, Jane. But I came to see you and my niece and to take my leave from you. We are returning to Pemberley in a few days, and I will be quite occupied as we prepare for our departure. I have a gift for little Amelia and hope to present it to her before chatting with you for a few minutes. I do not want to tire you by staying too long, but I did want to be sure I saw you once again before we left."

Jane rang the bell, and the nurse brought the baby in for a few minutes. Jane was determined to follow her mother's and the midwife's advice and was not nursing her child, so she only saw her for a few minutes each day. After Elizabeth held the baby for a few minutes and gave her the little dresses and blanket she had made for the child, Jane called the nursemaid back to take the baby out of the room.

"Mama has been rather quiet this visit," Jane said. "I am surprised at how different she has been since the first call she paid on me after Amelia was born."

"Jane, I prefer not to spend my visit discussing Mama," Elizabeth said, causing Jane to frown. "Tell me how you are doing. I worried about you when you developed a fever, but you seemed to recover quickly. Do you intend to remain in this room like this for another fortnight?"

"It is what the midwife suggests," Jane replied. "I will do all she recommends so that I remain well. Frederick disagrees, and I know you did not follow the midwife's strictures, but I feel more comfortable doing so."

Elizabeth sighed at the petulant tone her sister used. "I was not criticising, dear Jane, merely asking. You know me; I am a terrible patient and struggle to remain in bed for longer than a day or two, even when it is needed. With Alex, I was walking about within our rooms in just a few days. William protested and attempted to keep me in bed longer than I was willing, but eventually, he gave in as he saw that I was determined. The midwife supported me so long as I was reasonable in my demands, and William tolerated my stubbornness well. It was different since we were not in London then, giving me more freedom to do as I wanted."

Jane agreed, and the conversation returned to Amelia and eventually to Alex. Elizabeth was reluctant to share the news of their expected child with her sister while their mother was visiting, so after a short time, Elizabeth stood and hugged her sister as best she could before taking her leave from her sister. "It will probably be next spring before we return to town, as I doubt we will come again in the autumn. I do not know if it would be possible for you to visit at Christmas, or perhaps sooner, depending on Mr Hastings' schedule. You are welcome any time."

"Thank you, Lizzy," Jane replied, and Elizabeth departed.

Just as Elizabeth stepped out the door of Jane's home, Mrs Gardiner's carriage arrived. The two ladies looked at each other, and Mrs Gardiner looked at her niece apologetically. The two women greeted each other with a hug, but Mrs Bennet remained frozen inside the carriage.

Elizabeth drew upon all her strength and greeted her mother. "Good afternoon, Mama," she said quietly. "It is nice to see you."

Her daughter's voice jarred her, and Mrs Bennet stepped down from the carriage. "Good afternoon, Elizabeth," she whispered.

Struggling not to roll her eyes, Elizabeth moved to end the awkward encounter. "Well, I must depart for home. We will be leaving for Pemberley in a day or two. Mama, Aunt, I am certain you will both write, but I really must be going." She immediately stepped up into her carriage. Mrs Gardiner watched her for only a moment before she walked up the steps and into the house. However, Mrs Bennet stood there for several more minutes until the butler's voice roused her from her imaginings, and she also entered the house.

The journey to Pemberley was uneventful. Alex remained an excellent traveller, and shifting him between the carriages that contained his parents and his nurse allowed everyone else to travel comfortably and rest occasionally. Alex was inquisitive and vocal at fifteen months of age, although little of what he said could be understood. The Darcys deliberately travelled slower than they might have liked, but they used frequent stops to explore the areas where they stopped. Darcy and Elizabeth scoured the bookstores in small towns they rarely visited and discovered several new treasures. Each morning, they requested a picnic lunch for their travels to allow Alex time to explore the area around him when they placed the blankets on the ground for the meal.

Despite these additional stops, the trip to Pemberley only lasted an extra day. Once again, the Darcys' time was immediately consumed for several days as they caught up with what had been occurring on the estate while they were from home.

Darcy rode out with his steward several mornings, and although Elizabeth could not ride in her condition, he took her out to visit their tenants over several afternoons in a pony cart. The couple enjoyed this time together, something that had been in short supply in London, and often took refreshments and a blanket with them on these trips.

Nearly a fortnight after their return, after all the major concerns from the housekeeper and steward had been addressed, Elizabeth and Darcy finally settled into their preferred routine while at Pemberley. While her nausea was diminished by this time, she felt a bit queasy if she did not eat something first thing in the morning, and she slept later than usual most mornings. Darcy would rise early to take a short ride and, upon returning, would request tea and toast be delivered to their shared sitting room. By the time he washed up from his ride, Elizabeth was usually just beginning to stir. He would sit in the bedroom near her until she woke, attending to his correspondence or his ledgers if she were not yet awake. After this light breakfast, they would dress for the day and visit their son in the nursery.

They had moved him to the upstairs nursery upon their return from London as it gave the boy and his nurse more room for play. The Darcys still spent much more time with their child than was considered 'fashionable', and it was not uncommon for someone to come above stairs to find the adults on the floor playing with Alex or reading to him with the child in one parent's lap. Often, he would alternate between the two as one read, and they enjoyed their time with him tremendously.

Eventually, their duties would call to them, and they would separate for a time, usually returning together by noon to indulge in a heartier repast, as by then, Elizabeth was ready for a more substantial meal. They would enjoy this in their study while attending to their business.

After their brief meeting outside Jane's home, Elizabeth had not written to her mother again. Mrs Bennet had sent her daughter a note the day after the difficult conversation between that lady and the Gardiners, but it was full of excuses and explanations for her treatment of her least favourite daughter. "She is finally being honest with herself," Elizabeth told her husband upon receipt of the letter. "She has never understood me — never bothered to understand me — and finally, her honest thoughts and ideas are being expressed. She did not recognise her poor treatment of me because she did not consider it inferior; she was blind to the fact that she favoured some of her daughters while nearly reviling others. It is easy to see how, in her ignorance, she could not understand that she treated us differently.

"Not that I excuse her behaviour by any means, and I am astonished how anyone could be so willfully blind that she cannot see how she treated her daughters so differently. Jane was the treasured one who was constantly praised for her beauty and expected to marry well. Lydia was favoured for her similarity to her mother — she was pretty and lively and, as the youngest, was spoiled. Kitty was treated well enough as she was nearly always in Lydia's shadow, although she was occasionally reprimanded for disturbing Mama's nerves. Mary was largely ignored, and I, well, I was not a boy. And I was despised for it. Nothing I did was ever enough, never good enough for Mama. Papa appreciated that I was intelligent and interested in learning and gave me more opportunities to learn than he did the other girls, but that was because I insisted on it. And in the end, he gave me to you willingly but with an ulterior motive in mind. When he agreed to your request for my hand, he knew you would rescue him from failing to provide for his family." She had sighed deeply and snuggled deeper into Darcy's lap. He had not replied but merely held her.

That had been the last communication between Elizabeth and either of her parents and so it was a surprise when, three weeks after arriving home, a packet of letters arrived from Longbourn. From the Gardiners and Jane, Elizabeth knew that her mother had returned home, and Jane continued to implore Elizabeth to write to their mother. Elizabeth and Jane could no longer discuss Mrs Bennet, as their views of the lady were too different to reconcile.

When his valet handed Darcy the morning's post at their bedroom door, Darcy had been reluctant to pass the packet to his wife. They were still in their chambers, as Elizabeth had been restless that night and was sleeping later than usual to compensate. He was still considering the packet when she began to stir, and he moved toward her and kissed her temple as she slowly woke.

"Good morning, dearest," he whispered into her hair. He sat back slightly from where he was perched on the edge of their bed and watched her wake. She was covered only by the sheet, and he watched as it moved and revealed more of her form. When her belly was exposed to him, he began to caress over it and leaned in again to kiss their growing child and to speak to it. "Good morning, little one," he said quietly. "You gave your mama a restless night last night. You mustn't do that again; she needs plenty of sleep to help you grow. I know Mama would like another son, but I confess, I hope you are a girl — a dark-haired beauty with sparkling green eyes like your beautiful mother. She will be a wonderful mother, whether you are a boy or a girl, and I know she will love you."

Elizabeth grinned at her husband. "You are silly, do you know that?" she asked.

He grinned back as he sat up. "Only with you and with our children," he replied. "I could never be like this with others, not even Georgiana, though; perhaps I was when she was a child. Not now."

"I love you, Fitzwilliam Darcy," she whispered. "You are a wonderful husband and father, and I know that whatever this child is, you will love it as much as you love our son."

Once again, he leaned over to kiss his lovely wife, and it was some time before he considered the post again.

Sometime later, they dressed and went into the sitting room where their breakfast waited. He had ordered a more extensive breakfast that morning, which suited Elizabeth well since she was rather hungry.

"Did I see you with the post earlier?" Elizabeth asked after they had been quietly eating for several minutes.

Darcy swallowed the bite he had just taken and looked up at his wife. "You did. A … several letters arrived from Longbourn. I imagine it is yet another apology," he said.

She sighed. "I am tired of dealing with Longbourn. Part of me wishes to be done with them entirely and never hear of them again. However, I know that is not possible, as my sisters will forever be bringing her up somehow. Mary feels similarly to me, which is surprising given that she is a parson's wife, but our parents so frequently ignored her that she has little connection to them, especially not after living with them for so long." They were both quiet for a long moment.

"Give me the letters, William," Elizabeth finally said. "I know you are thinking you should not, but, well, I need to see what they say. Certainly, there are letters from Mrs Hill and Mr Todd within the packet, and they will have a different perspective on whatever these letters say."

Reluctantly, he stood to retrieve them, observing her carefully as she opened the outer envelope and withdrew several letters. She handed him the letter from the steward, although he did not open it as he continued to watch her. Grimacing, she began with the letter from her mother.

"Oh, good grief," Elizabeth said, exasperation clear in her voice. "Mama writes that both Kitty and Lydia have arrived home and have scolded her for her treatment of me once again. I said nothing to my sisters, either in person or in a letter; however, I know that Kitty likely heard several conversations at the Gardiners' and Darcy House. She is complaining of her ill-treatment since my sisters have been rather insistent in their chastisement. I will tell Kitty and Lydia to stop, but I do not know what else to do."

"Does she offer any further apology?" Darcy inquired.

"She does," Elizabeth sighed. "Once again, she speaks of visiting the tenants and thanks me for teaching my sister how to help them since she did not know or understand what to do. Kitty and Lydia join her in her visits while they are home, and she had forgotten how much they helped before I left. She does admit that she never appreciated the efforts my sisters and I took on their behalf and regrets that she never did it sooner. It is an aspect of being mistress that she ignored, and now that she has no daughters at home, she has found she enjoys it. I realise that as the mistress of an estate, it is a duty that I also enjoy, but it became more difficult to manage after Alex was born. Mama gave birth to five girls relatively quickly, so I am certain she would have found it difficult. However, she never took a role, not even before her children were born and certainly not after. She mocked me for my desire to do so, and I began the visits when I was ten or twelve and began to recognise the need. As Mama did not know or care, Charlotte taught me what to do."

Elizabeth slumped back into her seat and closed her eyes briefly. "She will always be selfish at heart, I am afraid. When I deal with her, it will always feel like dealing with a child." She sighed deeply and closed her eyes again as she thought about what to do. "I have forgiven her, although it seems I must forgive her repeatedly. I must face the fact that she will never change, and while I may, of necessity, be in her presence again one day, we will never have a relationship."

"Will you visit Longbourn?" Darcy asked.

"I do not know," she replied sadly. "I do not think so, as I want little to do with either. There is too little there to hope for any sort of restoration. Perhaps I will be willing to be in their company again — Kitty and Lydia will likely marry eventually, and those weddings will likely occur in Meryton. And if we encounter them in London, I will recognise them, but I will not invite them into our homes. I will meet them at the Gardiners or Jane's home, but that will be the extent of our relationship, and even that will depend on their behaviour when we encounter them."

"I understand, love," he said as he finally opened the letter from the steward. The steward and the housekeeper had nothing unusual to report but reported on the estate and household runnings. There were a few more expenses with the two youngest girls at home, but these were negligible given the estate's improved income. Since their confrontation nearly two years before, Bennet had taken an interest in the estate, and his efforts had borne fruit. Their correspondence with Mr Bennet returned to his usual impersonal style after the letters when he had apologised to his daughter and son, and this letter was little different, although he did make a few comments about his daughter's being home and the increased noise that caused.

They discussed these matters and several others until well past when they usually went downstairs. When they finally emerged from their rooms, they went to their study to write letters. Elizabeth had decided to write to her mother and her sisters. To Kitty and Lydia, she would explain her decision regarding their mother — she would tolerate being in her company when necessary but would not seek her out — and ask them to stop scolding their mother on her behalf.

It is unnecessary, my dear sisters, as I have realised that Mama will never truly change and have chosen to accept that. I

Yes, she has taken a more active interest in the estate and the tenants, something she had not concerned herself with before, and that benefits all who live at and depend upon Longbourn. I am incredibly pleased you assist her while you are home this summer, as the practice will serve you well someday.

However, you must cease speaking to Mama on my behalf. She is your mother and does not deserve to be scolded by you as though she were a child. You may think you are acting on my behalf, but you are not, as my relationship with Mama is mine to resolve. I will also write to her, but I must insist the two of you stay out of it. Whatever you may have overheard in London or think you may know, forget it all. Concentrate on enjoying your summer at Longbourn, and make plans for what you will do next.

Speaking of which, what are your plans for the autumn and beyond …

The letter continued to ask her sisters their intentions for the autumn. Lydia would not be returning to school, and Gardiners offered to take one or both of them back into their home if they desired. Darcy had agreed to hire a companion for them since their former companion had married, and this companion would aid them in attending events in London when Mrs Gardiner could not escort them. Kitty had a few friends in London, although Lydia had not spent time there. Both girls would accompany Georgiana to events in the spring when the Darcys returned to London, but that would not be until after Easter, and the new baby was old enough to travel.

Elizabeth delayed somewhat and wrote more to her sisters about their plans for the autumn to avoid beginning the letter to her mother. Realising this, she ended the letter to her sisters. She then picked up a new sheet of paper and stared at it. After several moments of this, her husband's voice startled her.

"Are you well, dearest?" he asked softly.

"I fear I am unsure how to begin writing to Mama. Kitty and Lydia will be surprised at how long a letter I have written them and how I have gone on and on about their plans for the autumn," Elizabeth laughed at herself. "I must apologise to her for the scoldings that Kitty and Lydia have delivered on my behalf and assure her that I have asked them to stop; after that, well, I am just uncertain what to address and what to ignore."

After several more minutes of contemplation, she began to write:

Mama,

I apologise that my sisters have taken it upon themselves to abraid you on my behalf. I am certain they have misunderstood matters they overheard, as I have never spoken with them of how matters lie between us. I have included a letter to the two of them in this same packet, making it clear they should scold you no further.

It is good that you have found much to occupy you in visiting Longbourn's tenants and working on their behalf. As you will recall, that was something I had done for many years before I married, and I am pleased that the tenants have someone to care for them and to ensure they have all they need. And I enjoy the stories you share about the children — they were my favourite part of visiting the tenants and continue to be so. Pemberley has several tenants, and I enjoy visiting with the children nearly as much as I do their parents. Now that Mary is here, she aids me in this, although she has other concerns as well, and of course, so does my sister Georgiana, although I suspect she may not be with us much longer. She had a very successful season, and I expect her to make a match before too many more. Kitty and Lydia will accompany her into society next year, and I hope that all three will find a man they will love and who will love them just as much.

Mama, I hope you know that I bear you no ill will. Anything that has happened in the past will remain there, and I do not intend to bring it up again or allow others to do so. I am content to see you and my father on those occasions we are in the same location; however, some hurts go too deep to merely be set aside. It should not trouble you that we will not visit Longbourn since we have not done so for nearly two years. I will not go out of my way to see you, nor will I go out to avoid you. There just is too much between us, and while I can forgive you, that does not mean the relationship we had can be restored. I would not want that relationship to be restored, as it was too often hateful and argumentative. If there had ever been a relationship, there would be something to fix now, but that is not the case.

I wish you all the best, Mama, and will continue to respond to your letters, should you want to send them. We can maintain the same impersonal relationship we have now, with you sharing your news and my responding with the same.

I will only add, God bless you, madam,

Your Daughter,
Elizabeth Darcy

Copyright 2023 Melissa Anne