Authors note: houses described in this fanfic are based on actual houses available for sale at time of writing but the description of the buildings in later episodes will not match
Later that week for the Shelby-Sam girlfriend swap in Carly's apartment
"well Shelby how are you feeling, today's the day, Sam spends time with Freddie for a week and you spend a week with me, in all honesty this is more a test to see if jealousy will tear at us or if we can possibly live together in one house, Melanie said she was popping by today with two possible options" says Carly
"as long as Sam doesn't kiss Freddie until we have decided what's going to happen I won't get jealous" says Shelby
"how are you feeling though" asks Carly again noticing that Shelby didn't answer that part of the question
"I'm doing a lot better" says Shelby
"that's good, whatever they have you on now seems to be working because after May and Melanie were here you kept saying you felt really sick" says Carly
"Carly, she's taking edibles" says Spencer noticing the bracelet on Shelby's left wrist
"how can you know, wait like weed edibles or like other drug edibles" asks Carly
"weed, the meds were causing blood issues, like her white blood cells were through the roof, as if she was fighting an infection but all tests came back negative, yesterday was her first full day on the edibles and we went for a check-up last night and her blood tested normal, like literally normal, no remnants of anything, she's medically cleared to fight but the CFC wants her to physically recover and they want a firm confirmation of an address, they told me they will under no circumstances accept her staying in an apartment, apparently Theodore told the feds that Shelby is his property, though at this point it is just something Arnie has said was said, it was over the phone but he said that a police officer would show up to confirm everything later today or tomorrow, I told them where she'd be and what times she's likely to be awake" says Freddie
"did you tell Spencer, I have no plans for Shelby to be down by the front door this week unless we're going out to groovy smoothly" says Carly
"I did tell him yeah but it's likely going to be officer Carl that pops by and I have a feeling that he's still not fond of Spencer after the whole 'pee on Carl' sign debacle that caused a massive crash, people have make parody signs online and he's come by to make sure it wasn't Spencer that put them online" says Freddie
"fine but Spencer will be the one answering the door, though honestly I'd prefer it if you talked to him about this stuff, you've been through the worst of it with Shelby this week and I really don't want Shelby to have issues because of trauma or something" says Carly
"as long as you let me take my edibles I'll be fine Carly, I'm the one that requested the police keep me informed about what the feds came up with and the fate of Callie, if it triggers issues then it's my fault but you can help me cope if you want" says Shelby as Melanie and May show up
"ok so I've narrowed it down to two homes, 1047 Belmont and 1500 Lakeside, in both scenarios I'd pay for the house in full up front and what I'm about to say about cost is what we would have to collectively pay every month, Belmont would cost us three thousand, eight hundred and ninety four dollars a month, Lakeside is more expensive at four thousand, six hundred and ninety five dollars a month" says Melanie
"which one has more space, we as a group decided that more space is better in case we have heated arguments" says Carly
"Belmont has more space, here's a walk through May and I did this morning" says Melanie as she plays the video for the group
5 minutes later
"well we definitely like Belmont, it looks amazing, how soon could we move in" says Shelby as everyone nods in agreement
"a few days, I can hand the home owner a cheque later today, they said if the iCarly crew chose them that they'd take fifty grand off so long as no changes are made to the structure of the home, paint is one thing but moving walls or stuff like that would be forbidden if you buy, it's an old house, we're talking like nineteen ten at the latest, which also means no having fans over, at least not inside the house, the structure of the house is protected by state law, the law about historical buildings, they'll make us sign a contract stating that we will not permanently damage the house in any non reversible way or let anyone in that could damage the house" says Melanie
"that's fine, I have no problem with that, so long as the city verifies the legitimacy of the contract, I wouldn't want to sign my life over because they misused a word or something, the CFC wants me in a house before I get to return to fights, even though they'd all be in Seattle for the first year once I return to fights, my first fight will be with Grace from Wantagh, New York, she's as eager as I was at her age, she breezed through juniors and had been fighting adults for at least six months, honestly it worries me that she's actually aggressive, it's not just her fighting style, she's literally aggressive, I was supposed to face her during the summer East Vs West CFC fights but she chose Sofía to fight in my place, it worries me" says Shelby, worried she'd just over shared
"they want a city representative there to witness the signing anyway so I'll let them know you require the city to once over the contract and clear it to be signed" says Melanie
"do they know I'm one of the people buying this house" asks Shelby
"they assumed as much, they heard about Theodore being arrested from your apartment so they assumed that you were wrongly evicted and that you were staying with the iCarly crew until you found a place" says Melanie
"I guess that works, anyway I'm at Carly's this week, I guess until moving day" says Shelby
"true, Carly behave" says Melanie
"HEY" says Carly taking the comment as a sign that they don't trust her to follow rules she herself set up
"Melanie, that was uncalled for" says Sam
"you do realize that Carly asked Shelby out and was turned down due to Shelby's slight memory issues, do you really think that they won't end up making out" asks Melanie
"I've already done that with Carly, a few times even, your point is mute Melanie, step down" says Sam
"ok I'm sorry, it's just I know how much Carly means to you" says Melanie
"a quad relationship is on the table Mel, we have to give them an opportunity to see if it would work out, Carly had specifically mentioned she wanted to see if jealousy would play a part, that's the main reason we all decided yesterday that we would choose whatever house was bigger so we would have space to breath if fights arose" says Freddie
"wait quad as in polyamory, mom isn't going to like that Sam" says Melanie
"neither will my dad, that's why I'm doing these test dates, the more evidence that I can provide him with that we aren't doing this just because we want to, that there is a real romantic reason to, the better I can convince him it's all consensual" says Carly
"when Mel says mom won't like it she means I could be disowned, like I could be without a mother, she might even hurt me" says Sam
"you just let me handle that Sam, remember there is still a possibility that us four won't work out in a romantic situation, that's why Carly is doing this test, if and I mean IF we decide a quad polyamorous relationship provides the most stability, emotionally, mentally and physically then I will talk to her, she will have to realize that your happiness should be all that matters to her and nothing more, if she tries to fight me on facts believe me she will lose, Melanie go start the process and don't think that if I have any spare cash above and beyond what we decide my part of the monthly bills are that I won't give you extra" says Shelby
"I appreciate the offer Shelby but the money I'll be paying with was the result of a lottery win, not money I received as part of my product review job so I won't be out of any real money" says Melanie
"how much did you win anyway" asks Shelby
"it was a fourteen million dollar lottery win, I paid three and a half million dollars in federal tax and I was left with ten and a half million dollars, which isn't an insignificant amount of money, I put three million in an investment account, similar to what you did for May, leaving me with seven and a half million dollars to spend, just under three and a half million dollars for the house will leave me with four million dollars to spend of those winnings, which will last me quite a while so long as I keep reviewing products and don't have massive medical bills show up suddenly, though again so long as we all live in the same house, if I can help lower medical costs I will" says Melanie
"how about a compromise then, if I have extra money, you help me put it towards a true savings plan" says Shelby
"I'll definitely work with you on that regardless, however I thought you were good with money" says Melanie
"I am but I lack financial foresight, I save money but when something happens to me I never seem to have enough and the insurance company always fights me on everything, there are times when Shaun, my fight manager covers a specific medication because the insurance company refuses to cover it consistently, they'll be fine for a few months then all of a sudden drop coverage, I fight with them and they cover it again for a few months, it's honestly quite the money pit" says Shelby
"is it the gum medication" asks May
"yeah, you remembered that I have gum issues" asks Shelby
"absolutely" says May
"could you elaborate a little more on that, you've always hinted at it but never told the story" says Sam
"it's a story that makes me look dumb, I'm not talking about it right now, maybe when we're at the house and I can feel less paranoid about people listening in I'll talk about it" says Shelby twitches then pulling Carly upstairs to her room
"that seemed a little aggressive, pulling Carly like that, she really doesn't want to talk about stuff does she" asks Sam
"she's protective about her health, to an extreme but I was there, she won't let me tell you about the incident itself but know said incident left her in the hospital for three days, with a dislocated jaw and tiny holes in her gums, she's healed but her mouth is incredibly sensitive without the medication, especially involving temperature or meds themselves" says May
"was she hit with something by someone or was it something your parents did" asks Sam
"more like she got too curious, dad is very safety driven with what caused the incident but he was teaching her about it and she got too close" says May doing her best not to say the 'gun' word
"was it a gun" asks Freddie
"ok yes but she could hear us right now, so I never said that word, you did, she doesn't like that word" says May
"her father shot her with a gun" asks Sam assuming the worst possible situation
"no, they were at a shooting range, he was trying to teach her how to use a gun, specifically the Colt 45 revolver as it was the easiest for him to teach her, unfortunately it wasn't a gun he owned himself specifically so he got someone to lend it to him, she wanted to see the revolver…. well revolve so she got close to dad, the gun failed, it shot two bullets somehow, anyway the gun flew backwards, dad's grip being firm meant it went backwards and sideways, hitting Shel in the face, cold gunpowder got in her mouth somehow and drilled tiny holes in her gums, maybe it wasn't cold powder, all I know is Shel said she never felt it happen, the meds she's on for it are basically antibiotics to stop the infection caused by the power from returning as it is a risk" says May
"how would that make her mouth sensitive" asks Freddie now curious himself
"the powder damaged nerves so any touch, heat or cold causes pain" says May
"so kissing her is impossible" asks Sam
"frenching would make her nervous about pain, normal plain kissing on the lips is fine" says May
"how do you know this, have you kissed her" asks Sam
"it's a cultural thing, dad's Australian, it's a custom to greet people, family or otherwise with a closed mouth kiss so long as its quick, the only sibling who is at risk of falling for another sibling is Missy, especially now, she's slowly losing touch with reality, the meds help but isolation counteracts some of the medications effect" says May
"I saw Shelby twitch as she was explaining why she wasn't talking about it, is that a reaction to something or because the event was traumatic and that's how she responds to trauma" asks Spencer genuinely concerned about Shelby's health
"they had to take her off a few meds that can cause issues with exaggerated immune response, but she's talked to me about really bad fights where her opponents had broken bones, aside from shivering she doesn't twitch and she said there were traumatic experiences for her" says Freddie
"May, do you know anything" asks Sam
"for us, twitching is a sign of detoxing, meaning they took her off a med that her body needs that she might have been taking too many of" says May
"does she do that, abuse prescription meds" asks Spencer
"only pain meds, though there were times where she absolutely needed the dose she took because certain fighters take it way too far aggression wise and have at times left her in lots of pain even if she won the fight" says May
"she talks to you about this stuff" asks Spencer
"absolutely" says May
"has she ever admitted to using her pain meds to dull herself down" asks Spencer
"trust me she doesn't do that, doctors have said she may at times need more than the label says if she got badly hurt in a fight, the dose she's given by doctors takes into account how long her body holds onto meds but that low dose doesn't always work for intense pain" says May
"why would they take her off of it if she needs it" asks Freddie
"they wouldn't, her not being in pain IS part of her job as a CFC fighter, even while off on the equivalent of medical leave, if she is off the medication it's because she asked to be, it has a low chance to affect her immune response but its like a five percent chance, probably less at the dose per pill she has access to, I don't think you realize just how low her dose is" says May
"how low is it then" asks Sam
"remember when you nearly got in that motorcycle accident last year and you went to the hospital because you thought your wrist was broken and they gave you pain meds" says Melanie
"yeah, it was lower than I thought it would be but the wrist brace and the meds helped" says Sam
"imagine taking a quarter or less of a dose for that kind of pain, I remember you would still wince in pain when you put pressure on it for at least a month, a normal dose like what you got would almost be an overdose for Shelby" says Melanie
"three pills could fit on her thumbnail, so long as she doesn't take more than two an every six hours her body can cope with it" says May
"so why would Shelby want to go off that med" asks Freddie as Sam looks at him also concerned about Shelby's health
"last year the CFC made a decision to allow fighters to take weed products medicinally and ONLY IF prescribed by a doctor, if she is indeed off that med and using the edibles, it will take till at least late August before the remnants of that medication stop affecting her, it would explain the twitching, also she wouldn't just pull Carly like that Carly isn't exactly the lightest girl in her friend circle, I take that prize, unless she was feeling no pain whatsoever she wouldn't even attempt to pull me like she pulled Carly" says May
"so what you're saying is the edibles are keeping her pain free, because even on all the meds she was on she was always in a little pain and she complained about headaches" says Freddie
"yes that's what I'm saying, either that or she's excited for what a week exclusively with Carly that she's willing to overlook the pain temporarily" says May
"what would she be likely to do with Carly over this exclusivity week she has with her" asks Spencer, trying not to be an overly concerned brother
"touch skin, snuggle and kiss" says May
"by touch skin do you mean sex because I couldn't even convince Carly to go that far" asks Sam
"no, sorry I should have been more clear, I mean sleep naked with Carly or bee naked around Carly just in general, Shelby has a thing where she will wear as little as she feels comfortable with so long as it's legal, that's why she wears what she wears in the ring, it's the legal minimum, at least until the bikini fights they do once a year but Shelby has never entertained that idea and I don't see her changing that" says May
"oh ok, yes Carly and I did a whole day where we spent the day naked as long as we didn't leave the apartment, when we left her room we did wear a robe though" says Sam
"she adores robes, especially if they're soft" says May
"oh they're so soft, maybe a little long but they're so soft, have I said they're soft" says Sam
"if they're long that's how Shelby likes them, she's odd that way, she likes to turn up the bottom inch and wrap them around her feet as if they were pants, like I said odd but it's what makes her unique" says May
"I'd call it quirky and there is nothing wrong with that" says Sam as May chuckles
"oh Sam, you don't know what quirky is, trust me Shelby is very different, odd doesn't even begin to describe her, its just the word that's closest, if you make it a week exclusive with her I'm pretty sure you win a prize" says May
"Freddie, is May right, is Shelby odd…. wait am I expected to spend a week test dating Shelby" asks Sam
"Shelby isn't your average girl, that's for sure, she has quirks but hates the word quirky, she thinks it puts her in a bubble, you can tell her she has quirks but never call her quirky" says Freddie having learned from experience earlier in the week
"do I have to spend a week with Shelby" asks Sam getting nervous because that part of her question wasn't answered
"technically you don't have to but Shelby depends on data to make decisions and if a polyamorous relationship is chosen as the most stable, non jealousy inducing situation and Shelby does not have information on how you are in a relationship she will absolutely get territorial around Carly and Freddie and unintentionally push you out of the relationship, the more data she has the better" says May
"so it's about compatibility and not about finding reasons to judge me" asks Sam
"basically, compatibility, jealousy tests, stuff like that, unfortunately her default mode is scepticism, take Carly's attempt to ask her out as an example, Carly had Spencer watch so, Carly could have someone to back her up to her family, on Shelby's end it was about not trusting Spencer with the information about such a massive decision that involved his little sister, its not that Shelby didn't want to say yes to Carly, at the time nothing could have made her happier, it was Spencer being there watching her that made her say no" says May
"that would explain a few things" says Spencer
"what do you mean" asks Sam
"she's very particular about where and when she'll talk about anything she considers sensitive and she doesn't like extra people knowing about certain things, for example the whole Callie situation, she would make me physically block every entrance into the apartment and I'd have to verify that nobody else was in the apartment" says Spencer
"that's definitely the paranoia kicking in" says May
"I'm not so sure she's as paranoid as people think, yes she has paranoia issues, however I think that Theodore has barged in on her a few times when she had friends over" says Spencer
"what are you basing this on" asks Melanie
"one time she was talking about Callie, about the drugged juice boxes and the elevator chime went off and she stopped talking and hid from the view of the elevator" says Spencer
"that actually would make sense, she has had Theodore barge in a few times but she never elaborated on it" says May
"she probably doesn't want anyone thinking that she's delusional" says Spencer
"you know, now that you put it like that, it does make sense, whenever she visited me, it was only ever in my room and the bed was always against the door, the doctors always assumed there was an illegal relationship between us, you know, the i word" says May
"why wouldn't they have told the CFC about their thoughts on her behavior" asks Spencer
"because she's mega famous and they'd ruin her career without proof of any illegal relationship, and there was no i word relationship, the facility doctors legally can't report any illegal activity without evidence, literally so long as they have no proof of illegal activity they can't do anything" says May
"you mentioned before that Shelby wants Missy out of that facility and in either one of her control or literally in her control because of what isolation is doing to Missy, would Missy try and start something if Shelby were to do that" asks Spencer
"if Shelby wanted her released, Missy wouldn't be under her control, Missy would be under my control because I know how to reason with her, Shelby doesn't, I've spent hundreds of hours around Missy in the last five years, I can get through to her better than any doctor ever has and I can calm her down better than any medication can, the problem is when she has had time away from the facility, she's always escaped, she doesn't like organized situations, as in organized where her temporary freedom is completely planned to the point where her naps are scheduled, they won't let her out again after she escaped from Arnie's house last time, not unless you can give a very convincing reason" says May
"I can try, but only if you assure me that she won't attack us" says Sam
"she's evasive not aggressive, you convincing her to behave won't be the hard part, convincing the facility to give her another free few days will be harder trust me" says May
"can we go there tomorrow Freddie" asks Sam, more a request for consent rather than asking if they can go
"sure, sounds like fun, you convincing a mental health facility that the worst off Marx sister that has escaped before should be allowed another chance, I'm honestly curious as to how you plan to legally convince them" says Freddie, only half joking
"are you saying I can't be nice or convincing" asks Sam
"no, I'm sure you can, you've changed a lot in the past few years, it's just the last time we did this sort of thing, you got a tad aggressive" says Freddie
"that was the old me, this time I have a future that includes love, I didn't have that before, I had nothing to look forward to, now I do" says Sam
"she has a point Freddie, May, do you have any advice that may help Sam" says Melanie
"don't touch Missy, she's not fond of physical contact and it only sets her off, if you have to make physical contact with Missy let her be the one to initiate the contact, give her the sense of control, only let yourself be the vessel in which she can begin to experience freedom, if at any point she pulls away from the physical contact she initiated, don't try and force her into reinitiating the contact" says May
"you really want her to experience freedom don't you" asks Freddie
"I want her to try, she likes being locked away and it only makes her worse, I feel that the longer she's in there, the closer we are to losing her completely to the paranoia and having it develop into something worse, at the moment her paranoia isn't bad enough to classify her as a paranoid schizophrenic but it can get there if she stays in isolation" says May
"ok we will go tomorrow and keep you informed, Shelby too if she wants to be informed" says Sam
"oh she will want to know, nothing happens to Missy or I without her somehow finding out about it, your best bet is to talk to Arnie first" says May
"ok" says Sam