Nervously, Tommy approached Jamie as he stood at the goat pen, pouring a fresh pan of cold water for Jasper. The goat stared through the slats past Jamie at the approaching man; the spooky yellow eyes seemed to glare at him in judgement. It bleated at the other Ranger reproachfully before it darted away, bell jingling.
Jamie briskly turned around to find the younger man standing a few steps behind him. For a moment, the eyes behind the dark frames widened slightly in reflexive fear at seeing a version of Drakkon so close. Guilt and shame twisted in Tommy's stomach at seeing the reaction on the older man's face.
"Tommy?" he stammered, blinking rapidly and lowering the water pail to the packed earth. He arranged his face in a more neutral countenance, but his eyes never left the hazel ones.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you, Jamie," he answered, running a shaky hand through his long hair in nervousness.
Jamie gave a soft smile and broke his wary stare. He glanced back at Jasper, who had jumped on top of a bale of hay and now bleated authoritatively at the pair.
"It's alright, Tommy," he spoke gently. "This one makes a lot of noise when she's being impatient. Right, Jasper?"
The goat merely snorted in response. Then the animal's horizontal pupils turned towards a few green sprigs of vegetation sprouting nearby and she dashed away, knocking the bale of hay over in her haste.
"Bossy little shit," Jamie muttered lovingly under his breath. "I'm still pissed at you though."
Carefully, Tommy ventured closer to stand beside the older man. His heart hammered in his chest and he found it difficult to look at Jamie. Fidgeting hands squirmed in his denim pockets as he struggled to find the right way to phrase what he wanted to say.
Jamie's eyes glanced over at the Ranger; he would recognize the signs of anxiety a mile away. Obviously, the young man was feeling very awkward regarding what needed to be discussed. Taking pity on Tommy, Jamie turned to face the White Ranger.
"Penny for your thoughts?" He gave a reassuring grin and placed a hand on Tommy's shoulder. "You seem like you have a cloud hanging over you, kiddo. Perhaps we should clear the air."
Hazel eyes looked up into Jamie's face before quickly averting back out into the goat pen.
"I just wanted to tell you…" Tommy started. "I mean I want you to know that… Dammit, there's so much I want to say to you, but I need to start at the beginning.
Jamie gave a gentle nod.
"Alright."
Cheeks coloring deeply, Tommy lightly bit his lower lip.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what happened with Drakkon. In the palace the day you and I first met. You were deceived and mistreated for so long."
Jamie raised a brow at him and chuckled softly.
"Kiddo, what do you have to be sorry about? I know you're not Drakkon. You weren't the one who tortured me or ran rampant in my head. I understand you had to pretend so I'd let you get close to me in the containment room. All's forgiven."
He took a deep breath and leaned his forearms on the wooden pen slats.
"I don't mean to react the way I do when I see you, Tommy. My body reacts before my mind catches up. If anything, I'm sorry. I make you feel like a monster when I cower in front of you," he added.
Tommy's eyes widened and he shook his head, hair brushing his shoulders.
"No, don't apologize for something you don't have any control over, Jamie. What Drakkon did to you was heinous and now you're still dealing with that asshole," he stated firmly. "Having to bring him here, to your safe place…"
Tommy was at a loss for words at how unfair it was that this traumatized man had to interact daily with his abuser. What a cosmic insult.
"I made that choice. Like I told Mark, there was no way I was going to risk him hurting or killing an innocent person in there. I know I can handle him if he acts up," Jamie sighed.
The White Ranger swallowed nervously and took a deep breath.
"Another reason I wanted to apologize to you, Jamie, is about what happened in Drakkon's palace later. Not just the play-acting part. I'm sorry for what happened when Drakkon made you kneel in front of me," he started.
He risked a look at Jamie's face, wondering if the man even remembered the incident he was talking about. Tommy couldn't read what the other man was thinking so he forced himself to continue.
"The things Drakkon said to me about you and about my Jason were disgusting. He loved airing my deepest guilty thoughts in front of my friends. I had never told a soul about the daydreams I had about Jason when I was evil and I never planned to."
His cheeks felt hot with the shame he felt and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut.
"Then, when Drakkon ordered you to kiss me, to let me taste you..." he stuttered. "I took advantage of your submission and kissed you back. I shoved my tongue in your mouth and my body got excited from it. He was right about me wanting more."
Jamie stood silently as he replayed that memory in his own mind. He hadn't forgotten that encounter, but it had a different meaning for him. The kiss and the White Ranger's physical response was not what stood out to him about that moment in time. He started to speak but Tommy wasn't finished.
"I was no better than Drakkon when I did that to you. Pretending to be him was dangerous because it was acting out my darkest fantasies. I keep thinking what if he allowed you to go further, would I have had the strength to refuse you? Or would I have used your body like he did? I treated you like an animal."
Jamie gripped Tommy's shoulders now and forced him to face him.
"Listen to me, kiddo. So you kissed me and enjoyed it. Considering everything I went through, that wasn't the most traumatizing thing I'd ever experienced. And you'll drive yourself crazy with the 'what if's'. Just because you had some private thoughts doesn't make you a bad person. Drakkon acted on his; that's why he's an asshole," Jamie insisted.
"You gave me a gift that day, Tommy, and that was worth a kiss. Because of you, Red started to wake up, to start evolving, to break free of Drakkon. You broke the collar, you asked questions Red couldn't answer, planted seeds that grew in his mind. And because of that, now I'm here," he argued, feeling passion welling in his chest.
"And you're hung up on a kiss? I really hope you haven't held onto this guilt for two years."
Tommy swiped at a tear on his cheek as he listened to Jamie's rebuttal. Hearing the older man deny any damaging effects from his personal behavior made his heart less heavy. He nodded slowly.
"I didn't think about it that way," he answered. "I guess I was afraid that deep down you thought I was no better than him. And I was afraid also that I was just like Drakkon."
"Tommy, I don't have nightmares and flashbacks about that kiss. Out of everything, that was probably one of the nicest things that Red experienced. I don't remember everything regarding his time with Drakkon because those memories are too disturbing but I'm going to guess a little French kiss wasn't the worst thing," he said softly.
"Thanks for talking about that with me, Jamie," the White Ranger smiled as he sniffed back the remaining tears.
"I'm glad I could set your mind at ease," he answered. He cleared his throat and tucked his hands in his own pockets.
"I understand that you and your Jason are together," he mused, his eyes now staring off and avoiding Tommy's.
Tommy hesitated before answering the loaded question. Now they were going to deal with the elephant in the room.
"Uh, yeah. We've been together two years now," he confessed, worried about how Jamie might react, despite his initial jovial demeanor. "Our relationship probably seems weird to you. Or disgusting, maybe? I'm sorry we kept it a secret. We truly didn't want to hurt you."
Jamie bit his lip as he wrestled with what he wanted to say.
"I was a little taken aback by that information at first," he confessed. "My initial emotion was bitterness, to be honest. There was some anger and sadness and confusion in there too. A few flashbacks of Drakkon and Red in the palace. But once the shock wore off, I think it's a good thing."
Tommy's mouth hung open in surprise.
"You do?" he asked, stunned by the other man's admission.
"Yes, I do, Tommy. You had feelings for Jason, and you acted on them in a healthy, safe way. You told him how you felt and gave him a choice. Jason is with you because he wants to be with you. You respect each other, care for each other, listen to each other…" he trailed off.
Tommy nodded, his lips curving in a smile.
"I'd do anything for Jason," he agreed. "I love him with all my heart. Always have if I'm honest with myself."
Now Jamie turned back to the White Ranger and smiled sadly.
"That's my point, Tommy. Drakkon claims up and down that he loves me, loved Jason but he couldn't accept those feelings when they started. So he took out his anger and frustration on me, the object of those emotions. I was forced to be with him, to be his pet. Drakkon kept me selfishly with no concern for what I wanted or thought or felt."
He sighed and tilted his head back to gaze at the beautiful blue sky above them.
"His emotions towards me turned toxic and he expressed them in a horrific manner. You acknowledged your feelings and took the risk to trust Jason with them. That's by far a better outcome, Tommy," he murmured.
Tommy swallowed and bit his lip thoughtfully.
"We didn't want our relationship to seem like a slap in the face to you," he whispered. "Jason and I both read Drakkon's journals after everything happened. We were never told the full extent of his insanity when it came to what you endured. The others were afraid of what it would do to us both mentally and that it would destroy our friendship."
Jamie lowered his head and nodded.
"Makes sense," he stated. "I wondered if either of you knew. I didn't get the impression before that Jason did."
The White Ranger knew he was alluding to the physical trysts the Red Omega and Drakkon shared before he escaped.
"I'm still pissed Drakkon did that," he answered, giving Jamie a knowing look.
The older man shook his head, lips tightening.
"I'd expect that behavior from him, Tommy," he replied. "Drakkon always did get a hard on when it came to mind games. And the age difference just made it easier for him to manipulate Jason."
The White Ranger's fists clenched, and he glanced back up towards Jamie's home where the tyrant slept at that very moment. Currently, he didn't give a rat's ass that the older man had some weird space dementia and missing legs. He still wanted to knock Drakkon's teeth down his throat.
Jamie caught sight of where Tommy's eyes were directed.
"It would be a hollow victory. Plus it wouldn't change what happened. Drakkon's getting his just desserts being alive in the condition he's in and having to depend on others. Being weak and disabled is his own personal hell," he commented.
"You're right, I guess," Tommy huffed, trying to take some calming breaths. "I still don't know how you can manage to take care of him instead of leaving his ass in the woods somewhere."
At this statement, Jamie laughed.
"Don't think that the thought didn't cross my mind. But he's got information swirling around in there somewhere. Not to mention the fact that no one has seen any strange coin in his possession is a little concerning."
Jamie began moving back towards the house, putting a friendly arm around Tommy's shoulders now that the tension had lessened. The two walked in silence a moment; the White Ranger taking subtle glances at the older man's face.
He was right in what he believed before about this former Red Ranger. Jamie was incredibly resilient, brave, stronger than he believed, and deserving of a quiet life without Drakkon's fuckery.
Jamie noticed Tommy's eyes lighting on his face.
"What?" he asked, smiling slightly.
Tommy stopped and pulled the older man into a careful hug. Jamie relaxed into it and hugged the White Ranger in kind.
"I think if the Jason of your world was able to get to know you, he'd be proud of the person you've become, Jamie. He'd be honored to be someone as strong and capable as you are."
Jamie's hug tightened at Tommy's words.
"Thank you for telling me that."
Another voice spoke up from the kitchen doorway.
"I agree with Tommy," the Red Omega said, smiling down at the pair. "And I feel like I would know."
He reclined against the frame, his hair askew. The White Ranger grinned up at his boyfriend.
Strolling down from the doorway, the Omega approached the other two in the bright morning sun.
"You should also know, Jamie, that right now I have no idea how you've managed to survive everything you've been through. Especially this recent avalanche of bullshit. I'm not sure I could still be as adaptable as you've been," he complimented.
Jamie felt his face flush and he put a hand on the Red Omega's shoulder.
"I appreciate that, Jason. I want you to know that I'm happy for you and Tommy. It just caught me off guard, I think. But I believe that your Tommy is a good man. He helped set Red free from Drakkon's delusion. If not for him, we both could have ended up as palace pets somewhere in the cosmos."
He sighed.
"I know you were trying to protect my feelings just as I was trying to do by staying away the past two years. And I'm sure fear of Red's reaction played a part as well," he added sadly.
"Well," Jason stuttered. "Maybe a little. No one was sure how either one of you would take it. Our friends took a long time to accept us as a couple after everything that happened."
Over the Omega's shoulder, a tall man was ambling up the path, his spectacles reflecting the sunshine.
"There's Dr. Waters, right on time," Jamie nodded towards his visitor. "I expect he's going to need a lot more pages for my chart."