CH 18
Bob walked down the road to town, keeping a close eye on the sides of the road as far as he could see. He didn't have great night vision, but he could tell it had gotten better over time. He wasn't so worried about being jumped himself. He didn't want anyone going to screw with those elf women.
By the way she acted around him, he was also sure the daughter Gilda was looking to latch onto him. He did not want another 'girlfriend' hanging onto him. He decided leaving them tonight was the best thing he could do for them and himself.
Not knowing the actual time, he figured it was around nine or so. Getting to town, he noticed a few houses had lights burning, and one place where the lights were on kinda looked like a bar. It sounded noisy inside also. Yup, a gathering of drunks, it had to be.
He walked up to the bar, contemplating how to start. He was on the steps up when a man came out holding a woman by her hair as she pleaded with him.
"I said you're mine!" he growled at her.
Cool, a perfect way to start. Bob stepped up and punched the man hard in the face. The man recoiled back inside. The woman stumbled to the side, eyeing him.
"Go home," he told her. She complied, running away.
Going inside himself, he saw the man was out cold. Dead maybe. He also saw in the crowd, all eyes were on him. It had gotten quiet as all attention was on him.
"Greetings!" Bob announced. "I'm looking for a scum bag that likes to call himself Lord Peter. Any of you know where I can find him?"
One of the drunks at the bar cried out, "I know you! You killed Jake and Weston!"
"Quite possible," Bob agreed. "I take it you're one of the cowards who ran away?"
A burly man drew his sword as he eyed Bob. "Looking to get yourself killed, are ya?"
Bob grinned. "Certainly not by you, fatso. You know dirt bag Peter?"
The man turned to the crowd. "You all heard him! He insulted Lord Peter, I have every right to kill him!" He then turned back to Bob and thrust out to run Bob through.
Bob grabbed the sword and did a fast spin to backhand him with his other fist hard. A crack sounded. The big man stumbled and fell. Bob held onto his sword and shifted it to his right hand. The man didn't get up.
"Anyone else?" Bob asked the crowd. More swords were drawn, not a one challenged him. Bob eyed the crowd. "Pity, and here I thought you were a bunch of tough guys. No playtime for me tonight, it looks like. Well, just tell dirt bag Peter I'm looking for him. I am eager to see that scum bag. You can get back to your drinking now."
Bob went back outside and waited. No one came out, so he continued down the street. Seeing a stable, he looked around. No one was out so he went in the stable. No one was in here. He went back out and walked back up the street. In the windows of one place, he noted tables and people eating. Good, he was getting hungry.
Going inside, he stared. There were two young waitresses, both topless. Wow. Seeing him, the one with longer thin breasts asked, "May I help you sir?"
He told the dark haired girl, "Yeah, what are serving? Came in to eat."
"We got potatoes, beef, ham and to drink we have water and ale."
He nodded. "Beef and potatoes and an ale sounds good. How much I owe you?"
"Five coppers, please have a seat," she said pleasantly.
Bob noted beside the door he came in, and a door to the kitchen, those were the only entrances. He took a vacant table and sat facing the door. He wondered how long it would take before Peter got the news he was being looked for. He dug out six coppers and put them on the table.
Shortly, the waitress came back and gave him his ale. "The food will be out soon," she assured him. Seeing the money on the table, she said, "The price is only five coppers."
He cast her a grin. "Well you get a tip, one's for you since you're showing me your tips."
She blushed with a smile. "Thank you sir." She put five coppers in the belt sack she had, and one into a skirt pocket.
A man sitting over at the next table asked, "You new in town Mister?"
"Just got here," Bob agreed. "Do you know this Lord Peter scum?"
Firmly, the man said, "Watch your mouth! He gets wind you're insulting him and he'll have you as a slave or just kill you."
"He's welcome to try." Bob replied.
"I ain't foolin fella," the man stated. "He's a rough one and don't care about anything about killing. "He's got a big, tough gang behind him and loves to show people to bow down to him or else."
"I saw his gang," Bob said. "They aren't so tough, killed four already, one right in the bar. The others didn't have the nerve to challenge me. There had to be fifteen of them standing around, hoping they weren't next." He took a drink of ale.
"How'd you kill so many?" the man asked.
Bob shrugged. "I came upon a group that stopped a wagon. They killed the man, was raping his woman and it looked like the girl was next. One attacked me, I got him, then the guy doing the raping tried to backstab me. I cut his dick off then made him stab himself in the groin to finish it and his balls off. The other two there were cowards and ran away. I finally get into town and killed another right at the entrance of the bar. I go in, another guy challenges me so I put him down. No real mystery to it."
"He'll be coming for you."
Bob grinned. "That's what I'm hoping for. I don't want to have to chase him all over."
His waitress came back, walking in stiff steps to make her boobs bounce a bit. Coming up next to him, she bent low to let him see those boobs hanging free. "Your dinner, sir," she said pleasantly. "Feel free to sample anything you see."
"Thank you," Bob replied with a smile. "But this scum named Peter is looking for me, so you might want to stay clear of me."
Her jaw dropped. "You need to leave town!" she said in a whisper. "I got a place just outside of town you can stay at if you want."
"Don't worry, hon, just stay clear for your own good." Bob told her.
She nodded and walked away.
The man at the table next to him finished off his ale and thumped it mug down on the table. "Gotta go, I don't want to be near you either." he told Bob firmly then walked out.
Bob waved bye to him and started eating. He noticed a man outside the window was watching him. As soon as the man saw he was looking, he walked away. So, he was being followed.
He was sure that while he was eating, someone was going to come in to try to kill him. He ate in peace, and with the long breasted dark haired lady watching him from a distance. No one did.
Bob checked the street before he left, then went out slowly to check the sides of the building. In an alley across the street, he saw dim heat shapes. He left to walk out on the other side of that building and around the back. A small gaggle of six men, two with bows were in the alley. One peeked out again.
He heard their hushed voices.
"He came out, didn't he?"
"Saw him come out the door, but he's not out there."
"He go back in?"
"We need to kill him, go out and find out where he went!"
"You go out there! I'm watching from here."
While they hissed at each other, Bob walked up quietly behind them.
"Look, Lord Peter said kill him and bring him his head, so get out here and find him!"
Getting behind them, Bob asked loudly, "Looking for me?"
Packed together, they all spun to gape at him. He grabbed the two bowmen and pushed, mashing them all together to stumble and fall into the street. Bob kicked and punched to knock a few out, then drew his sword to stab the others as they tried to get up and defend themselves.
The one he kicked in the ribs was moaning in pain, but still alive. Bob dragged him to his feet. "You want to live? Go tell Scum Bag Peter to get out here and face me. Got that?" Bob growled at him.
The man nodded weakly and stumbled away.
Looking for a good place to wait, Bob went over to the next building beside the restaurant. It had a porch and a bench. He decided to wait on that bench to see who else came.
While he waited, the waitress who served him came around the corner. She had a cloak on now, but open enough to show she was still topless. Quietly, she said, "I saw what you did to those men. I hate that Lord Peter. If you can kill him, I'm yours. Anything you want."
Bob offered her a smile. "That is very generous of you. It is still dangerous at the moment to get near me, so please, go away."
She nodded. "Just don't forget." she then slipped back into the alley.
Bob sighed. Joan was right, he was a woman magnet. He waited until he was getting very sleepy. No one else came looking for him. He decided to head back to the stable though an alley. Being careful he wasn't being watched.
In the stable, he climbed up into a hay loft and got some sleep.
.
The tall, thin man with black hair, Peter, got the reports of this man and what his men had learned, which wasn't much. Whoever this was came into town begging for a fight, and killed nine of his men, and insulted Peter himself every time he opened his mouth. The audacity of this guy was mind boggling! Not one of his surviving men ever got a name for this guy. It wasn't false bravado this man had either. The man was very good in a fight, sword or no. Half the men he'd killed he did it bare handed. This guy was obviously dangerous and after him.
Peter thought hard on how to handle this. He couldn't let this guy continue, he had to be put down before he raised the town up in revolt. The only one that had been seen talking to this man and didn't get killed was Leonard down at the smithy. Peter decided to go see him, and took six guards with bows and swords with him.
When Peter went in the Smithy, Leonard stopped working and eyed Peter. "Something I can do for you?" he asked.
"There is," Peter said with a tight smile. "I heard you were talking to a murderer who came into town last night looking for me. What do you know about him?"
Leonard shrugged. "I know he made no bones about looking for you. Told me in detail bout the men of yours he's killed. He doesn't have a very high opinion of them, or you. That's about it."
"Yes, he's made it clear he's after me," Peter agreed. "He say where he's from or who he knows?"
"Nope, only talked about looking for you. I know that's gonna be big trouble, so I left." Leonard stated.
"He talk to anyone else?"
"The waitress, Janet. She seemed to pay attention to him but he told her to go away, said it wasn't safe for her to be around him."
"He's right," Peter agreed. "Didn't get a name, did you?"
"Never said what his name was. Never said where he's staying either."
"Of course not, he wants me out looking for him," Peter said in a mussing tone. "I imagine to catch me by surprise in ambush." He cast a fake smile at Leonard. "If you happen to see him, tell him I'll be in the restaurant. If he shows up today, I might not do very bad things to Janet."
.
In the morning, Bob awoke with straw in his ear. That felt wonderful. He got up and decided to make sure Gilda and her mother had left. He jogged down the back alley and out of town to their house. He found the barn doors open, and no one home. The horse and wagon were gone. He went in to see many things were missing. Good, they took off, they were safe.
Going back to town, he searched for anyone paying attention to him. People were out and about, but he didn't see any armed men eyeing him. He was expecting to see armed men waiting for him.
Getting down the street closer to the restaurant, he felt the buzz in his head he felt when Duncan or the Sheriff was around. Stopping, Bob scrutinized his surroundings. He tried to figure out where it was coming from. It was up ahead someplace, he just didn't know here.
Approaching the restaurant, Bob did notice two armed men out in front. They had bows along with their swords. OK, whoever it was, was in the restaurant. He walked off the street to look into a dry goods store.
A tall man with black hair came out of the restaurant holding a sword. He looked up and down the street, then called inside. Four more men came out, He pointed around and the men left, spread out searching, they bows at a half draw.
Bob eyed this. That had to be Lord Peter. He went in the dry goods store. Walking down an isle, he looked for a back door. Seeing it, he left out that door and approached the restaurant from behind. He slipped into the kitchen door to see a cook and the other waitress huddled together, sitting on the floor. They looked at him, he put a finger to his lips to indicate quiet.
Keeping out of easy sight of the doorway, he peeked into the dining room. Only two people were in there. A man stood behind Janet, who was sitting down tied to a chair pushed up against a table facing the window. Her long breasts were on the table. Also on the table were a hammer, knife and some nails.
NO, they wouldn't do that to her, would they? Then again with how ruthless this Peter was, they probably would. Out the window, he could see a couple bowmen searching the street. Not knowing if anyone was right outside the door, he had to take the guy behind Janet out quietly and fast.
A yell from outside called, "I know you're here, come out!"
Like hell. Bob slipped his sword from the sheath and cocked back with it like it was a spear. He only hoped his aim was good enough. He threw the sword. It sailed out and sank into the man's chest. The man recoiled and fell, letting out only a weak cry. Bob strode out and grabbed the knife to cut Janet free from the chair.
"Go out the back, quickly," he whispered to her. He pulled his sword out of the man and followed her back into the kitchen and out the back. He motioned for the other two to leave also. They did.
Outside he pointed to the woods. "Go anyplace but home, go hide," he told them. The two did, Janet hugged him tight. "You come too!" she whispered.
"No, I got a maniac to kill," he said and pushed her on her way.
Going back inside, Bob peeked out at the street. The bowmen were gone. Searching for him. He went to the windows to peek out. The tall man was right outside also watching the street. Bob went to the door and flung it open. Bob kicked the man hard to knock him off the entry and into the street.
"Looking for me?" Bob asked as he glowered down on him. As the man got up, an arrow came at him from across the street. Bob dodged aside.
"Poor shot," Bob noted. "You this pile of dung called Peter?" he asked.
Standing up, sword out Peter said, "You're like me."
"I'm nothing like you," Bob stated. "I'm Robert Tanner, and you are?"
"At least I know who I'm going to kill now," Peter grated.
"It's a challenge to a duel, you a brave enough scum bag to accept?" Bob asked. He walked down the steps, Peter backed up.
"I'm going to have you killed!" Peter raged. "Boys!"
Bob saw three of the bowmen, two lining up shots in him. He dove at Peter and swung his sword to knock Peter's blade aside. He kicked him in the solar plexus and chased him when Peter backed up.
A bowman shot and hit Peter in the back. Bob punched him in the gut, then head butted him. Peter stumbled back and fell. Bob laughed.
"Stop shooting!" Peter wailed. He got his sword pointed at Bob again and crab crawled backwards a bit to get his feet under him. He gasped out, "I'll give you one chance to live! Leave now!"
"I'll give you one chance to die quickly, get down on your hands and knees," Bob retorted.
"Kill me and my men will kill you!" Peter snapped.
"Let's test that, shall we?" Bob asked. He swung to knock Peter's blade aside again. Peter stumbled back, then cried out in a scream and swung. Bob deflected it.
Around them, everyone watched, even the bowmen. No one else tried to attack Bob. Peter tried to hit him again in a stab. Bob did as Jackie taught him and twirled his sword around Peter's to trap it. He also gave Peter a kick in the balls. Peter bent lower, Bob stabbed his right shoulder and gouged it deep. Peter backed up again, eyeing him fearfully.
Bob chided, "Why you backing up? And here I thought you were some brave bastard. You're just an over inflated bully. Well, come on, bully me."
"Kill him!" Peter wailed.
Bob made a short jump at Peter. Peter swung and missed. Bob chopped at his wrist. Peter cried in pain and dropped his sword.
His face contorted in defiance, Peter wailed, "You can't kill me!"
"Wrong," Bob stated. He stabbed Peter deep in the gut and twisted his sword before he yanked it out. Peter wailed out and dropped to his knees.
"Good night, asshole," Bob stated, then chopped Peter's head off.
Bob noticed the street was full of people now, all watching him. By the corner of the restaurant, he saw the topless Janet watching him too. He was about to ask her why she wasn't hiding and felt a heavy static in the air. He turned back to Peter's corpse to see it lift off the ground about a foot. He stepped back, wondering what that was.
The first static electric bolts snapped in the air. A pale fog came off the corpse and shot over into him. The body fell flat. Then the electric charges flashed into lightning to hit him again and again.
Bob recoiled with the bolts that now came down from the sky. Windows in building blew out, he was hit with the multiple strikes and wailed out in pain. His body jerked from being struck. His sword arm rose up, his sword took the strike that traveled down his arm.
When the lightning stopped, Bob saw he was on his knees. Man, that hurt! He struggled back to his feet to see everyone gaping at him. Panting from the electrical abuse, he eyed the men who now held their weapons loosely.
In a rough tone, Bob asked loudly. "Anyone else want to abuse people? Anyone?"
The men with weapons dropped to kneel. The plain townsfolk just stared. Janet came running over to him.
"Are you all right?" she asked with a gaping gaze. She held her hands like she wanted to touch him, but was afraid to.
Bob winced from a leftover spark. "I'll live, but dirt bag scum is dead."
"I saw the lightning hit you, how are you still alive after that?" she cried.
Bob shrugged. "I'm immortal, I can't die. Think I can get a drink, and maybe a bit of food?"
"Yes, of course," she said quickly and tentatively clasped his hand. "Come on."
.
Bob went into the restaurant, Janet leading him. She parked him at a table then hurried into the kitchen. Outside, people were standing around talking, even the armed men. Feeling weak, Bob only pondered briefly why they were still there. After all, the show was over.
Janet returned with a mug of ale. She drew a chair up next to his, facing him. "You saved me. He was going to have my breasts nailed to the table, then after he subdued and captured you, he was going to make you watch while he cut them off. You saved me from that."
He eyed her breasts, then cast her a smile. "I'm really glad he didn't. Don't worry, he's not doing anything, ever again. You and everyone is safe from him now."
She smiled. "I know you like looking at them. Please, do what you want with me."
Bob winced and held up a hand. "Ahh, I'd love to, but I can't. You fixing me a meal is plenty of thanks. I did what I came to do. I need to get my butt back home."
"Can you come to my house tonight?" she asked hopefully.
"I do have to go back home," he said.
She frowned, "I'll be right back with your food. Beef and potatoes?"
"That's fine, thank you."
The door opened, a few townsmen came in with one of the armed men.
The man with the sword asked, "Lord, what do you wish of us, and what do we call you?"
Bob sighed. "All I want is everyone be decent to each other. If someone decides they want to be cruel and put people under their boot, then I'll have to come back and kill them too. I don't like cruelty. The Name's Bob, by the way. I'm not a lord either."
"Then who leads us?" the Smith asked.
"Your town, you decide. Pick a town council to make your laws, appoint a good man to be the Sheriff to keep the peace. It's not hard." Bob told him.
"You don't want to lead this town?" another man asked.
"It's not my town," Bob replied. "I got my own town. Our sheriff keeps the peace and watches over it. We have town meetings to discuss how to do things. What we don't do is let one selfish asshole come in and take control. Try it, it works."
The armed man said, "If you could, would you come out and explain how to do that to everyone? Now Lord Peter is dead, there's many out there who want to know what's going to happen."
Bob thought for a moment, then asked, "Is there a meeting hall or someplace big enough to hold everyone?"
"The bar," another man said.
"That will do. Shall we meet there in say, after dinner time? Give everyone time to attend?"
The armed man nodded. "I shall ensure everyone attends."
"Ensure everyone knows," Bob said, correcting him.
"Yes, sir."
The men left. Janet came back in with his food.
"Here, my hero. Sure you just don't want to fondle a bit of me you saved?" she asked brightly.
Bob grinned. "If you insist."
Setting his plate down she grabbed another chair and faced it away from the table to sit next to him on his left. She grabbed his left hand and planted it up under her breast to hold it. "Eat and fondle?" she asked.
Bob chuckled. He gently kneaded her breast. "Wow, nice and soft. Really nice."
"Thank you. Anything you want."
Bob noticed there was a light cream sauce on the potatoes. It was good. While hot, it wasn't super hot. He ate for a bit while he explored her soft mounds, then got a bit of sauce on his fork and touched it to a pruned up nipple.
"Oh no! I got some on you. Here, let me get that off for you." he lifted her breast and bend down to suckle on her nipple. Licking and suckling, he made sure her nipple was clean.
"All you want," she said softly and petted his head.
He looked to see she was blushing. She said, "I liked that."
"Me too," he assured her.
With a sly grin, she said, "You know, I do get clumsy at times, and well, I find I end up with bit of food on my breasts. Could you clean them off for me?"
"I do have to go home." he reminded her.
When he was done, she picked up his plate and held it close. She then looked down in false surprise. "Oh no, look what I did!"
Bob laughed. He slid his chair back. "Sit on my lap, I'll clean you off."
She happily did so.
Now holding both breasts up, he slowly licked and suckled her clean. He lifted his head to ask her if she was clean enough and she kissed him. After the long kiss, they hugged.
"What will it take for me to get you home with me?" she asked.
"I really can't," Bob said. My wives and kids are waiting for me to get home.
She pulled back. "How many wives do you have?"
"Three for sure, not sure about the fourth. I lead a, shall we say, complex life."
"You must have a big house."
"It used to be a hotel." he told her. "We have others who come and visit too." Looking at her, he petted her cheek. "You know, if I didn't have to go home, I'd be happy to come to your place. The fact is, I got responsibilities."
"Most men wouldn't care."
"I do."
She growled playfully at him. "You're making me jealous of those wives you got. If anything, I think you deserve them." She then got up and took the plate back to the kitchen.
Bob called, "We got a town meeting down at the bar after dinner. Can you let everyone you see know?"
"I will!"
"Thanks," he said and went out to also let people know about it.
.
Walking through town and telling people about the meeting, most already knew. The one question he got asked was if women were allowed to attend. He told them yes, they were town residents too.
Even the barkeep knew about it. Since it was going to be a full house, he had the tables and chairs put in a back room and had steps at the end of the bar so Bob could get up on the bar to talk to everyone.
Bob also heard talk that he might be some kind of saint or messenger from the gods. Those who'd seen the lightning show had told others and saw this as divine approval for killing Lord Peter. Better yet the armed men in town were decent now, and feared to raise his wrath.
For his dinner, Bob had a meat and cheese sandwich at the bar, knowing people would be coming soon. He ate and nursed his ale as people began wandering in. It took an hour or so, but the place filled up with townsmen. He was surprised when Janet came in, she had a loose shirt on. She made her way over to him.
"A shirt?" he asked.
She nodded and planted his right hand on a breast. "There are yours now. So only you can see them."
"I do have to go home," he reminded her.
"Can't you take me with you?"
"Sorry, I'm not even sure how I ended up here," he offered.
The barkeep came over. "I think everyone's here now."
"Thanks," Bob replied he got up on the bar and got everyone's attention, then explained about how to make a town council by voting for members and electing a sheriff to keep the peace. There were many questions, and Bob answered them as best he could. It took longer than he thought it would, and they even got talking about who the sheriff would be. Everyone agreed on a vote. The man selected to be the sheriff was the swordsman who'd came into the restaurant with the other men.
Bob also got offers to stay in town, which he explained he had to go home himself. After he was done, there were many who had points and problems to bring up. He let the new Sheriff deal with those and slipped out.
Wanting a good night's sleep uninterrupted, he went out to the elf's house he knew was vacant.
Feeling pretty good about himself for getting rid of that lord and getting the townsfolk together, he went in the elf's house. The beds were gone, but they left the stuffed couch. Good enough, he wouldn't get hay stuck in his ear.
Lying down he stretched out and on a whim, sang 'The river of dreams' to himself to become drowsy.
.
Gilda snuck up to the house first, her mother trailing behind her. They had taken everything they needed and went down to the pond to stay until it was safe to go home. Quietly opening the back door, she heard soft singing. She motioned her mother up. They listened.
I don't know why I go walking at night
And I'm tired and I don't want to walk any more
I hope it don't take the rest of my life
To find what it is that I've been looking for
In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the valley of fear
to the river so deep
I' m searching for something
Something so hard to find
It can only be seen
Though the eyes of the blind,
In the middle of the night.
Even though the river is wide
I walk down every evening and I stand at the shore
And try to cross to the opposite side
So I can finally find what I've been looking for
In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Though the jungle of doubt
To the river so deep
I'm searching for something
Taken out of my soul
Something I'd never lose
Something somebody stole
I'm not sure about a life after this
God knows I'm not much of spiritual man
Baptized by the fire, I wade to the river that flows through the promised land
In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the desert of truth
To the river so deep…
Hearing a noise, Bob stopped singing. He sat up and looked to see a pair of forms coming in the back. Focusing on them he asked, "Gilda and … Why are you two here? You should have run away."
"We were hiding out down by the pond," the mother said. "We couldn't bear the thought of completely leaving our home."
"Suppose not," Bob said with a sigh. "Well since you're here, it's safe to stay now. I killed that Peter asshole and now your town is forming a town council and they already elected a sheriff."
"They said Lord Peter can't be killed," the mother stated.
"They were wrong," Bob said and got up. "I cut his head right off. He's dead. And it seems no one else wanted to challenge me. It's safe for you to come home now."
Gilda ran over and plowed into him to hug him. "Can you stay with us?" she asked eagerly.
Bob patted her back. "I have to go home too. Job's done and I got things to do at home."
"But … you'll come visit us, won't you?" Gilda asked in a plea.
"Maybe, I don't know. Just know you're safe now, OK?"
Gilda spun to her mother. In a whine she asked, "Mom, can't you make him stay?"
Gently, her mother said, "Everyone has free will, dear. You can't take that away from them. He has his own family he needs to get back to."
"But I want him!" Gild cried.
"Ladies, I think it's best if I get going. I'm sure you want to move back in."
"Then, can I come with you?" Gilda asked in a plea.
"That will leave your mother all alone, she does need you," Bob coaxed.
The mother came over and gently pulled Gilda back. "We'll talk later, dear. I think Robert wants to go home now."
"I do have to get home," he said apologetically. "It has been nice to meet you both. Stay safe, ladies."
Bob left the elf house and walked up the road. He'd been hoping to get some sleep. Oh well, he had to get home anyway. He just hoped he didn't have to walk very far.
About a mile up he saw someone camping in the middle of the road. Coming closer he saw beside a campfire, the wizard sat on a stool.
"Ah, I was hoping I'd find you," Bob announced.
The wizard looked up. "I see you accomplished your goal. Though, you have left a couple broken hearts behind."
"What?"
"Oh yes," the wizard said firmly. "That elf girl, Gilda. You do know once they imprint on a man, that's it. They won't even look for another mate, ever. She is quite taken with you. Then there's the waitress, Janet. She's never had a man who hasn't abused her. She desperately wants you, someone who will be there for her and treat her kindly."
Bob groaned. "I already have three, maybe four wives!"
"Don't worry. Those two will be accepted," the wizard said with a smile.
"Maybe I don't need any more wives?" Bob asked.
The wizard waved a hand. "Oh, don't worry about that! Here, before we go, I'll do something to help you out."
"What?" Bob asked cautiously.
The wizard pointed his staff to Bob's one side, then the other. Gilda appeared on Bob's right Janet appeared on his left.
"Now, you can go home!" the wizard announced.
"Whoa, hold on!" Bob cried. Suddenly, he was standing in his bathroom, Gilda and Janet had a firm grip on his hands at his sides. The wizard was gone.
"Yes!" they both cried and hugged him.