"Carry my books. Here Hermione," Pansy said as she dumped her schoolbooks into Hermione's arms. There was no reason for it - she had a (more expensive than average) bag and could've easily headed to class with it herself, but Pansy didn't do the unpleasant or mundane parts of her life most of the time. Her friends were her lackeys and even Daphne was not exempt from being told to pull out a chair, carry her bag or throw away her trash. In fact, it was usually Daphne that was the favourite but this week it appeared Pansy and Daphne had a small tiff with each other, and so a new girl was given the spot.
Hermione blithely obliged. Pansy had never truly known Hermione well, but she knew the girl didn't totally bend to Pansy's will quite so easily, yet didn't go against her either. Which generally meant Hermione went along with the flow and did whatever Pansy wanted her to do - most of the time.
Once they arrived in class Celestia pulled out Pansy's chair and even flipped open her notebook to the page she was currently on.
A few envious eyes of the Ravenclaws swiveled around to look at Pansy. She smiled to herself.
Perfect, perfect, perfect. Her life was perfect because she had everything anyone ever wanted in this world - she was a witch, she was pureblooded, she was from a Sacred 28 family, she was wealthy. Life felt like heaven on earth and Pansy liked to immerse in a world of luxury, as if she had the best of everything. That extended to tasks even, for there were ones she disliked and so she made others do it for her. Partly to also show of the amount of power she had over everyone else. She was very much so the queen bee of the Slytherin girls even though they were all queen bees of the rest of the grade, even Celestia and Hermione were sought after for friends if the two of them would say yes to the other students wanting to be friends with them.
Except Hermione was uninterested in friendship and Celestia preferred to stick to the girls she knew best. Pansy sometimes wished either of them would make more friends and her Hogwarts social life would be more interesting, with new people coming and going, but sometimes was a little relieved she didn't have to figure out how to integrate more people into her clique, which ones to accept or reject...
The rest of the day went by as normal for Pansy. She made up with Daphne and the two of them were best friends once more. Hermione was once again, just another follower.
Pansy's life was fairly happy, except for one thing. The fear that one day her entire life would shatter, because it had been a very comfortable one thus far. The fear that her family would lose their wealth, that she would lose her magic, that they would lose their status, that Pansy could stop strolling through the days as if they were heaven on earth. That this mood she had been living in - would end.
Pansy felt like she was a little guarded, cautious, always trying to maintain the status quo, preventing it from happening. And that her life was never so complete nor devoid of that bit of tension.
She sometimes wondered if she was really happy or not.
"Daphne? I'm a little scared," Pansy said.
Daphne suppressed a groan. They were in the Slytherin girls dormitories together just before dinner. Although Pansy was usually the leader of the group, the most boisterous, the loudest, this was one of the moments where she admitted weakness or her true feelings towards Daphne.
It wasn't that Daphne didn't like her, Daphne knew that despite the minor arguments she and Pansy sometimes had, they were the two most similar girls of their generation and shared much of the same views and experiences on life. Daphne understood where Pansy was coming from, or why the girl felt the way she did (most of the time), it was just that Daphne strongly preferred to be neutral to everyone, all the purebloods, and she didn't want to betray that neutrality when it came to Pansy, who sometimes confided into Daphne about slightly deeper topics.
"It's even more scary because it's two petrifications all at once," Daphne tried to reason, "but you'll get over it. Perhaps a bath, some tea and an early bedtime?"
The news of Justin Finch-Fletchley and Nearly Headless Nick's petrifications had spread around the school and once again everyone was talking about it but the Slytherins.
"I know. But it's just. What if it's real? I've been writing it of as just random things. Caused by different things each time. But what if it's the same monster doing all the attacks?" Pansy fidgeted uncomfortably with some bubble bath lotion she'd taken from a drawer. She then sighed and tossed it back on the bed in one irate motion.
"Well then I can't do anything to help you. I'm as clueless and help as you are. But I can be good company. Do you want me to start running the bath? Here, let me get it-" Daphne made a move to get the lotion and Pansy didn't stop her. They walked to the bathroom in silence where Daphne made small talk before leaving Pansy to have the bath.
Daphne felt tense. The Greengrasses were not super wealthy and her little sister Astoria had a blood curse that would eventually take her life at a young age. It was hidden but Daphne felt the strain of keeping it a secret. Because the Greengrasses weren't super wealthy nor influential, they couldn't afford to make any enemies, so they had sought to remain neutral for most things that split the wizarding world in two. Lord Voldemort and his views on mudbloods had been. It was difficult to remain neutral and have all people genuinely be unsure of how the Greengrasses felt, or who they supported, but her parents managed to walk that tightrope for the first war.
Daphne knew there was no way her family could afford any more enemies so she sought to do the same, and Astoria of course, fell into it too. So Daphne sought to always be neutral and never make it too clear whether her family were for or against Lord Voldemort, political changes in the wizarding world, or anything like that. It was a tough rope to balance and unless one looked very closely at Daphne Greengrass, they could easily miss this and assume she was just like Pansy or Draco.
Sometimes it felt like a game that only she played with herself that no one else knew.
Daphne was good at it however. She pretended to hate mudbloods because she needed to keep Hermione down so that she and Pansy could be at the top in their little Slytherin clique. She was just too mean to let any newcomers rise to the top. She went along with their games of reforming the wizarding world into a monarchy because it was all make-believe and distant from reality to her. But she had never truly said or did anything that made it clear which side she supported.
As for whichever side Daphne actually supported? Lord Voldemort's rise to the top, different people in charge, making it super disadvantageous for a mudblood to enter wizarding society...or the ministry of magic being even more pro-muggle than many purebloods currently considered it?
Daphne often thought there were no sides in politics and society. Joining a side never guaranteed anyone any safety. Leaders couldn't always be relied on to protect their followers. One would have to be a fool to put all their eggs in one basket. Daphne resented the pressure to pick any side at all. If you never pick a side you can't ever be on the losing side.
She liked neutrality for more than just continuing on her family's legacy. It felt natural to want to be neutral to her. In almost everything.
But still, Daphne often wished she didn't have to be neutral. Wished the wizarding world wasn't so strongly opposed with drastically different viewpoints as it was.
Hermione felt increasingly unhappy as the year went on. For some reason she was waking up tired, a little sore, with headaches and fogginess. Hermione wasn't sure why, she had been taking perfectly good care of her health, but for some reason this year felt like it was weighing down on her more than other years. Perhaps it was all the tension in the castle around the chamber of secrets - something Hermione was sure Harry, Ron and Luna were going to solve in the end.
Tom kept teaching Hermione new tricks, magical spells. Hermione felt alive when she was talking to him through the book. Like she didn't know what it was like to truly cast magic and feel the raw thing through her fingertips, until she was talking to him. Powerful, like she could do anything with what he told her. His voice was charming and his ideas were delicious to her. Often she felt super grateful she even changed upon this book. She could see why Draco's father would want it, it seemed terribly useful. She was uncertain why he would give it to Ginny Weasley, but had assumed that perhaps he meant for the book to learn Ginny's secrets which he could reveal to the world at some point. Or perhaps the book would insult Ginny.
Either way, Hermione felt like Tom saw something superior in her in comparison to everyone else that he wouldn't have been so nice to her through the book if anyone else wrote in it.
Hermione always felt tired, stressed, however there was one memory that didn't quite sit right with her that happened towards the end of the year.
Tom had told her it was time to brew the potion in order to test the myth of the monarchy. Hermione had gotten more and more scared about it as the time grew closer, thinking of all that could happen (what if several witches and wizards sprang up out of the blue all vying to be king and queen? What if the wizarding world was plunged into chaos as they all fought over each other? What if the potion permanently injured her or killed her in the process? What if she could get into huge trouble for it?). She had lost all enthusiasm for it now, but only kept doing it because she now wanted to prove she was capable of finishing brewing the potion, capable of following the instructions, as sort of a pure academic exercise.
The book promised her it would be over in a night. It was mostly fake, and she would have the satisfaction of knowing she brewed the potion well. The book said if she didn't want to do it she could enter into some sort of trance so it was easier to not feel so tired. Often when Hermione entered into the trances she felt super tired afterwards. Although she felt lightheaded when she was in them, she was not truly sleeping.
Hermione had said yes. Her memories were rather peaceful. She remembered getting out of Hogwarts, heading to the yard, and then finding herself in a garden where she threw all the ingredients together. Some of them looked a little gnarly though Hermione couldn't remember why, all she remembered was a strong sense of revulsion within her that she tried to squash down but couldn't - it was too strong.
Then, she remembered there being a huge flash of light, thunder and lightning, a boom, searing pain, relief, and also of a tall cloaked figure rising from the cauldron. After that...the tall cloaked figure disappeared, she was heading back to Hogwarts with the grass swishing happily around her in the midnight air.
When Hermione woke up next morning, she was back at Hogwarts, perfectly happy, although feeling rather strange all at the same time. She wondered if it was all a dream.
"Hermione, don't go to class please. You look like you're about to puke," Pansy sneered at Hermione.
"Oh yeah. You do look terrible," Daphne fidgeted unhappily with her pencilcase that she was going to put into her bag.
"I forgot. You don't have makeup," Pansy made a mock sorrowful face at Hermione. Daphne giggled.
"Yeah, I think I'm coming down with something," said Hermione and was surprised that her throat was hoarse.
"Year's about to be over soon. God I'll be so glad for all of this chamber of secrets madness to end," said Celestia.
"There's been nothing new since Justin and Nearly Headless Nick. It's an awfully long time and the end of the year is so near. The mandrakes are almost ready. Do you think the monster simply stopped? Like, maybe it didn't want to do too much damage. Just wanted to stretch it's legs a little bit..." Tracey said.
"It's probably not even a monster. Just a series of accidental events," said Pansy.
"I dunno. They're all petrifications right? How many different monsters can cause it?" said Celestia.
"Just take the day of. You look like you're going to puke on me," blustered Pansy.
Once Hermione was left alone she found the diary and wrote in it.
Okay Tom, you know how I've been going along with everything? I kind of regret it all now. I'm ambitious diary, I want to rise to the top of wizarding society and change the world because change needs to happen. But I don't want to do everything at this age, so soon, and so unprepared. I barely even know the magic you've been teaching me. Maybe if I had a few more years of learning I could appreciate it more now. I don't even know...exactly how hard it is. Tom I know I said I would, but I'm not thinking I really want a few more years of my childhood left. To just enjoy Hogwarts in peace. I...I might want to stop.
Of course you can stop. It's not benefitting you anymore is it? It used to benefit you because it satisfied your curiosity to do something big, prove magic to yourself. But now you don't need it anymore and you will be satisfied for a long time. In fact, never think about it again or want to learn more magic if you do not desire to. We don't have to just talk about magic you know, we can always talk about other things.
The diary was being oddly comforting.
Oh I don't know if I can ever forget magic. You're a good teacher, I wish you were at Hogwarts. You make magic come alive in a way no one else have. I'll always come back to learn more eventually. I'm...sort of addicted to learning. Have been ever since I was a kid. Can't help it really, even if sometimes I wish I had been wired a different way. I don't know, it's not that I want to stop learning magic although perhaps I should wait until I'm a bit older to learn some of the magic you've been teaching me. But I just...had a bad dream last night. Or bad event. I don't know if it's real or not.
What about it was bad?
I don't know. I brewed the potion and it worked, but not the way I thought. I swear I saw a person come out of the cauldron Tom. I thought that if a king or queen did arrive, they would...well you know, I imagined they would look like a king or queen. Or perhaps a knight. The person I remember Tom, was dressed in just a cloak, hooded, and gave of the aura of something half dead or horrible. I just didn't think it looked like a king or queen. I don't know Tom, it could've all been just a dream. I don't know why I'm so torn up about it.
Perhaps it wasn't a king or queen. You're right, kings and queens often give of different feelings. Perhaps it was another player that wasn't a king or queen. Possibly an assassin? Someone to kill a king or queen? Perhaps some other person involved in castle happenings. Perhaps now that one player has been called the real king or queen would come. Perhaps the myth simply meant the potion would begin a series of people appearing who will make changes to the world. It's all a myth anyway, no one truly knows.
The diary was still being comforting.
You're right. I don't know if the person was a ghost or hallucination. Could you possibly conjure up someone that exists for a short while but then disappears? fades into nothing?
Possibly. That sounds possible. Perhaps that potion simply creates a person that appears and preaches about how the world should be a monarchy and then disappears. Do you want to investigate it more?
Not really. I just want to forget about it. I trust that it's all nothing. I just...no more magic for now okay Tom? I need a break.
That you do. Have the best one. I'm always here if you want to chat about your day. It doesn't have to be magic, we could talk about anything.
Hermione felt calmer and more relieved.
"You look a lot better," said Pansy at dinner.
"Thank you," said Hermione.
"Can't believe we have to study for finals so soon. Hermione can you help me go over some stuff? You're awfully good at everything," said Celestia. Hermione was still the one the Slytherin girls asked for help if they needed it with schoolwork as she was the best in all their classes.
"Sure," said Hermione.
"What were you sick with?" asked Nott.
"Why do you care?" said Hermione.
"I don't like sick people. They make Slytherin house look like weaklings. If you're going to be sick so often you have to know it affects our reputation," Nott said.
Hermione's head hurt. Reputation, reputation, reputation...
"You look sick," Hermione told him, "so skinny and stringy. The illest of all the Slytherin boys. Like you can talk."
"Yeah well. Don't act as if you don't know the rule from now on okay? Slytherin house scorns those who are always sick. At least I just look it? How many times have I needed to miss class this year?" Nott was in one of his sour moods today.
"Shut up and eat," said Pansy.
The Slytherin girls seemed to believe Nott was just being difficult and didn't question Hermione any more that evening.
Meanwhile...
"Why do you care so much about Hermione? Someone have a crush?" Draco asked Theo.
Theo was probably just being difficult and nitpicking, thought Draco. But a part of him wondered if there had been a slightly deeper reason behind it. He wasn't fully bothered to check but was asking around to probe in case there was any easy information.
"Actually I think you do," said Theo, "you always seem a bit impressed by her in class."
"Liar. I like Pansy," said Draco. Since his father was on the board of school governors he did care about education a little. He simply preferred men to be refined by one even if they had wealth, and so Draco had always paid some attention in class and done relatively well. He perhaps respected Hermione for her grades more than the other Slytherin boys who couldn't sense how hard she had to work to get there. However he resented Nott for twisting whatever he'd picked up on about this, into something that was balantly not true.
Hermione, Tracey and Celestia were all too lowly for him. His family would lose reputation, status and name like no other if he ever married them. He had his sights set on Pansy, Daphne or Astoria ever since he knew them. There was also Nott's younger sister of two years, but that would mean having Nott as a brother in law...
"I like her too," said Crabbe.
"Me too," said Zabini.
"We can't all have her. Different girls alright guys?" said Draco.
"You like everyone," pointed out Nott, "Pansy doesn't like you."
Pansy had not done anything obvious to show she liked Draco.
"She doesn't like you either you troll," Draco spat at Nott. He would not feel inferior to Nott over Pansy's affections for Pansy didn't like the boy any more than she didn't like him from what Draco could see.
"I have more faith she likes me than you do that she likes you. I believe she could like me a lot but is hiding her feelings on the inside," said Nott.
"Do you guys have to marry well or is there a way for you to fuck around for fun? I would hate it if I was born in a position where that was taken away from me," said Zabini.
"We can fuck around for fun if we hide it well," said Draco, "well then you're a very conceited person. I'm fairly sure no one likes you," he shot at Nott.
"Look who's talking. Where do you think you'd be without your money," Nott shot back.
"You want to test me?" Draco suddenly said. He hadn't actually done anything to ruin Nott's life yet with his money but now he was considering it.
"Can you even think up a good idea of how to bring me down with money?" Nott argued.
Draco instantly thought of bribing many people to make Nott's life hell. Hogwarts house-elves, other teachers, other students, all to do tiny little things that would make that boy's life unlivable.
"Don't test me," he muttered through gritted teeth.
"I'm hungry. Anyone want a snack?" Crabbe opened his drawer and began pulling out some of his sweets. Usually he kept it to himself and rarely shared so this was somewhat unusual for him.
"Oh yes please," Goyle looked more than happy to switch away from this conversation. He threw Draco something wrapped in shiny plastic packaging, "catch," he said before Draco caught it on impulse.
The rest of the evening melted away to light-hearted chatter. Draco supposed Nott was just nitpicking with Hermione that day. Well, he still hated that conversation he had with Nott later on and Nott himself as well. Theo was truly such an irritating bastard to know.
It was the last week of school. Hermione was early looking forward to the end and then the summer holidays. It would be nice to relax after what had been a long and tiring year. However, on the last day before term finished Hermione had a very uncomfortable dream. She dreamt that she was walking in a labyrinth of blue corridors somewhere, feeling very lost, scared and nervous. A voice inside her head was asking her if this was truly where she wanted to go, where she wanted to be, the direction she wanted her life to take. Hermione didn't know how to answer it or what the voice quite meant, but all she knew was that there was then a loud bang, lots of running.
Then the dream ended and Hermione woke up drenched in sweat. Although a part of her did not feel like it was quite a normal dream.
Hermione grabbed a quick shower before heading to breakfast, which was something she rarely did but because she was so sweaty she felt like she had to.
The air was thick at the breakfast table however.
"Another petrification?" Hermione asked as she poured some juice and buttered a pancake.
"No, this," Pansy threw her the Daily Prophet.
Hermione frowned as she read the headlines. Apparently a monster of some sort had broken into the ministry of magic and killed many employees overnight. There were at least 15 deaths, of various prominent members. It was the biggest attack in decades. No one knew who was behind it, whether it was truly an attack or something accidental that caused all these deaths. But things had happened and many of those 15 people were high ups in power. So now there was a power vacuum. Although there was a new minister rapidly appointed, Hermione could tell most people thought of it was a puppet minister and that a new one would succeed him soon - the one who actually won the throne to be the minister from the politics that must be going crazy around now.
"Great," was all Hermione could say, "the wizarding world really sucks."
"Do you think it was on purpose? Someone tried to kill all of them on purpose?" Celestia's eyes were wide.
"Has to be," said Nott. A dark look was coming over his face.
"Lord Voldemort?" said Tracey.
"Why do you think every bad thing is him?" said Daphne, "it could be something new."
"It's actually a rather unfortunate accident. So many people dead, at a time when people are still uncertain about Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter. There will be a bit of a power struggle for some years but none of the remaining people in the running for minister of magic are known to have any extreme views. The wizarding world can still recover normally and continue on as before," said Nott as he scanned the newspaper once again.
"Yeah, I know," said Celestia, "but I don't like this. I just thought when I got my letter...that the wizarding world would be more...stable than this. I dunno...it seems like a lot of bad things are happening recently..."
"It has to be someone who wants to change the status quo. Behind this," mused Draco, "we shall have to see who the new minister is. That would be telling."
Draco instantly knew someone wanted to become the new minister of magic. However since he doubted the ministry's system he doubted if this person could truly ascend to that spot or enact their wishes from it. One thing though, Draco didn't like anybody else acting on the world before he did. He wanted to be the only person who would make the change from a democracy to a monarchy. There was something special about being the only one. That he did not like this person, whoever it was, for stealing his purpose in life. His thunder.
Professor Dumbledore looked quite concerned at the end of term feast. "All the students are safe but there is no resolution to the chamber of secrets. I want to warn you that no answer does not mean the problem has been solved. Always be guarded around this year's events students, they were deeply unpleasant and extreme. Be careful of the times ahead, the wizarding world is in quite a rocky period as I'm sure you've all heard the news. But I believe having courage in oneself will allow you to make the best choices in times like this..."
Harry, Ron and Luna weren't awarded any house points and so the House Cup went to Slytherin. A minor glory from what was otherwise a very tiring year.
It wasn't until Hermione got home she was able to write in her diary again.
"Are you alright? Goodness you look like you have all the life sucked out of you. Why was second year of Hogwarts so difficult?" Hermione's mum fussed about her over dinner that evening.
"Just general life. The magic of going to a boarding school has worn of probably," said Hermione.
"Mmm," her mum muttered.
They talked a bit more before Hermione could finally write in her diary again.
Tom I don't feel well. The year ended so strangely. The mystery with the chamber of secrets wasn't solved, there was an unknown attack on ministry members, killing a lot of them in higher up positions. Now there's a vacancy over the minister of magic and so many people are fighting over it I bet. And I had a bad dream the day before term would finish. Oh Tom, I just...didn't expect to end the year feeling so confused, and unhappy, and tired. I don't know Tom, I feel so confused.
Get used to it. The wizarding world is full of events like this. Maybe if witches and wizards tried harder to create a more stable society there wouldn't be so much extreme events like this. I think you need to sleep and enjoy the summer. Take a break from the wizarding world. You cannot do anything about it. It is out of your control. Instead enjoy the summer.
I suppose. Yes I can't really do anything about it. I'm here in the muggle-world. Alright, I'll try to forget about it and focus on what I can control. I'll do all my favourite things again this summer...
Hermione wrote furiously for a little, feeling more comforted.
That's it. The diary praised her.