XXII. Sonic the Hedgehog Ain't Got Nothing on Edward Cullen

Alice's vision of my escape to Portland perplexed me nearly as much as it had Edward.

Sure, I had on occasion briefly thought about leaving, but I knew it wasn't feasible given my position as a minor, along with my lack of funds. But, if Alice had seen it as clearly as she'd claimed, then somewhere inside me, I had already made that decision.

I just didn't know it yet.

It was around four in the morning when I woke up the following day. For once, it wasn't as a result from nightmares. The sleeping medication had offered me a positive solution on that front.

This time, I was woken by a sharp pain in my gut.

I groaned into my pillow and blindly reached for the cellphone on my nightstand.

It rang once, before Edward answered, "Isabella? Is everything alright?"

"Don't pick me up today," I grumbled into the microphone, voice husky with sleep. "I'm taking a sick day."

"What's wrong?" The alarm in his voice startled me, the fog of sleep dissipating further.

I answered around a yawn, "I'm fine. It's that time of the month and I feel like someone's shoved a butcher knife into my uterus." If anything, I was more surprised Alice hadn't already mentioned it to him.

"Oh," he paused, likely caught off guard. "Would you like my company?"

I bit back a whimper. "No, I doubt it'd be very comfortable for you," I reminded him, before I grudgingly sat up. "Besides, I'll need you to pick up my homework for today."

"Alright," he agreed, voice reluctant. "Anything else you need me to bring you?"

"No, I have everything I need," I assured him, dropping my feet to the side of the bed and standing with a pained wince. "I'm going to hit the shower. Talk to you later?"

"Of course," he replied, "I'll drop by after school."

"Alright, see you then." I snapped the phone shut while I blindly dug into my drawer for a fresh set of clothes.

Fortunately, the simple mention of my monthly cycle had Charlie turning red in the face, and he had absolutely no problem with calling me in sick.

After showering, changing, and chugging four ibuprofen, I tossed my stained clothes into the wash and settled into the living room couch with a blanket, leftover chocolates from yesterday, and the tv remote.

"You'll be alright by yourself, Bells?" Charlie checked in one last time, hovering by the front hallway.

"As fine as can be, all things considered," I answered, biting back a snicker.

"Well, don't worry yourself about dinner. I'll pick you up after my shift and we'll go down to the diner. Sound good?" he asked.

"Yeah! Sounds perfect!" I flashed him a reassuring grin and he finally headed out for the day. "Have a good day, chief!" I called as the flatscreen lit up.

"Thanks, Bells! Get some rest," he answered just before shutting the door.

I flicked through the channels for a while, before I finally settled on watching reruns of Friends.

It was around noon when I was startled by the shrill ringing echoing from the kitchen. With an annoyed groan, I stumbled to my feet and kept my blanket wrapped around me while I trudged to the kitchen. I cast the phone a last, baleful glance before unhooking it from the mount on the kitchen wall.

"Swan residence," I said.

There was a pause on the other line. "...Shouldn't you be in school?"

I was startled when I recognized Leah's voice. "Uh, shouldn't you?" I fired back.

"Touche," she huffed, "I was just going to leave a voicemail, but I guess this works too."

"Wait," I blinked, adjusting the phone so that it was cradled more comfortably between my ear and shoulder. "Were you trying to get a hold of me?" It's not like Leah and I were friends. I'd attended the Super Bowl party at her house the day after my encounter with Azmon and I hadn't exactly been in the right state of mind to socialize. I'd barely said a word throughout the night.

"Yes, I'm calling you," she retorted, and then grumbled, "Ugh, the things I do for that kid."

My lips curled into an amused smile. "Okay, you've got my attention Leah. How can I help you?"

"Look," she hissed, voice hushed, "Seth's gotten it into his head that the answer to your problems is to have a good time with friends."

I cut in, "My problems?"

"Oh, don't be such a moron, Swan," she scoffed, "You think we didn't notice you acting like your puppy got killed, the last time you came over?"

I heaved a sigh, "No, I guess not. It's very sweet of Seth to be concerned, but―"

"Look, you got us into this mess with your sad, pouty face, and now you're going to fix it," Leah snapped.

I blinked. "Okay...what do you propose I do?"

"See, it's not what I propose, it's what Seth proposes," she answered, and then paused before admitting, "Seth's turning thirteen on Friday, and he wants you to come over for his birthday party."

"Oh. That's not so bad," I agreed with a rueful smile. "What should I get him for his birthday?"

"Uh, how should I know?"

I arched an eyebrow. "He's your brother."

"Look, I don't know. Buy him a hair-tie for all I care, just get your ass down here. Party starts at four," she snapped, followed by the sound of a long beep indicating she'd disconnected.

With a small huff of laughter I hung the phone back onto the mount with a click. "With that kind of aggression, it's no wonder she went all furry," I grumbled, blanket dragging along the floor as I padded back to the living room.

I slumped back onto the couch, face smooshing against one of the throw pillows. My lids grew heavy, and before I knew it, I'd drifted off.

"Isabella!"

My eyes shot open and I sat up with a choked cry, fingers clawing at my chest.

Air was a stranger.

This is how you breathe, I tried to remind myself, but my lungs refused to cooperate and my chest was collapsing in on itself, and everything was a blur of tears.

"Shh. Breathe alongside me―like this."

My hand was pressed flat against a chest, expanding and compressing slowly below my palm. Before I realized it, I began to follow the same rhythm, air shuddering through my lungs, the pounding of my heart becoming less painful.

It was then that I realized that there was a lack of thudding below my hand―only the hollow silence of a still heart.

I briefly locked eyes with Edward's frightened gaze, before I pressed my face against his shoulder with a muffled gasp. Edward swept my curled frame into his arms. His embrace was cold and familiar, and I sunk into it with relief. Edward murmured soothing words of comfort into my ear, fingers brushing through my hair, until my breathing evened out and my tears had been exhausted.

"Thanks," I croaked, pulling back and wiping at my face.

"Isabella, this is no good," he murmured urgently, cupping my cheek. "You need to talk to someone about this...it doesn't have to be me," he belatedly tacked on, unable to completely keep the hurt out of his voice.

My thoughts briefly flashed to the letter I'd written. "I know," I sniffled, "I'm working on it."

"How so?" When I refused to elaborate, Edward leaned closer and pressed, voice soft, "Forgive me, but I insist. Isabella, say something―anything."

The moment I became caught in his earnest gaze, I parted my lips, ready to somehow stumble my way through the truth. If anyone deserved to know, it was Edward. And I was desperate to say the words out loud no matter how loathe I was to acknowledge them.

But, my voice refused to cooperate. "I―" Something sharper than glass lodged in my throat, and I couldn't. Nothing was cooperating. I didn't even know why, why I couldn't just say the words, couldn't do this, why I was breaking again, but―

"Isabella!" Edward's fierce voice was like a slap to the face. "Breathe."

I gasped, belatedly taking note of the burning in my lungs. My chest heaved, but then Edward was there, teaching me how to breathe again.

His eyes burned with regret. "I'm sorry for pushing."

"No. Don't be," I whispered. "Not about this. I do want to tell you, really. I guess...I just need a little more time."

He brushed aside the tracks of tear residue along my cheek with his thumb. "I can wait."

"Thank you." I wiped my nose and stumbled to my feet with his help. "You brought my homework?"

"...You want to work on your homework? It's alright to take a break every once in a while, Isabella."

I tilted my head down at him. "I guess. Although, it's not exactly difficult." Barring biology, I hadn't had any issues keeping up with Bella's high school coursework. Originally, I'd been meticulous about it in the case that Bella returned. But now, it was less about preserving her GPA, and more about my own comfort.

"Hm, I suppose so," Edward aquised with a rueful smile, rising to his feet. "It's in the car. I'll return in a second."

I blinked and barely had time to process his vanishing act, before he reappeared once more.

"Show off."

Edward grinned, holding up a folder. "Your homework, as requested."

I snorted. "Thanks, Sonic." I snatched the folder from his hands and headed to the kitchen, picking up my backpack on the way.

"Sonic?" Edward groused behind me.

"You are quite the speedster. Accurate, no?" I snickered, dropping into one of the kitchen chairs and flipping open the folder.

"I would prefer something a little more flattering," Edward sighed, sitting back.

I glanced up long enough to shoot him a grin. "What? Like a comic book hero?"

"Why not?"

I paused, his statement filling me with an ironic sort of amusement, as an old line ran through my head, "What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"

"Right… Well, Quicksilver it is, then." I was caught off guard by Edward's satisfied expression. "I'm surprised you know the name...I didn't take you as someone who read comics."

His face grew sheepish. "I wasn't...but it sounded like you were so familiar with them, so I did a little reading."

My eyebrows shot up. "Define 'a little.'"

Edward cast his gaze aside. "I may have secretly borrowed Ben Cheney's collection."

A sharp laugh tumbled from my lips. "Edward!" I gasped, "You stole Ben's comic books?! Why didn't you just ask to borrow them?"

He scowled. "I would've had to read them one-by-one. It was easier to just speed-read through them in an hour."

I was still laughing. "I cannot believe you! I don't even read comic books!"

"...You don't? Then why are you so knowledgeable?" Now Edward was perplexed.

I sighed and braced my forearms against the table. "My knowledge of your family may not surpass beyond January of 2007, but everything else is fair game," I confessed. "In the future, they release a series of Marvel comic-based movies, and they are my absolute favorite. Unfortunately, the first one won't be released for another three years."

Edward abruptly leaned so close, our noses nearly brushed. "How far into the future can you see?"

I blinked, momentarily dazed. "Uh, summer of 2020―shit, don't do that." I leaned back into my chair, rubbing at my eyes.

"Do what?"

I scowled. "That vampire-y thing where you gaze into someone's eyes and compel them to do what you want."

"Ah. I apologize. That wasn't my intention," he smiled ruefully.

"Uh huh," I grumbled. "Save the future questions for later. I need to finish this up," I reminded him and lugged my trig textbook out from my backpack. "As usual, Mr. Varner wants us to do every damn problem in the book."

While not difficult, I still found the problems annoyingly repetitive. My hand kept cramping up from gripping the pencil too tightly and my sleek graphing calculator was nothing but a fading memory. I almost took up Edward's offer of having him finish up the problems for me, but I was too stubborn to quit when I'd already gotten into rhythm.

Later, I was speeding through the single Spanish worksheet assigned by Ms. Goff, when Edward broke the silence.

"I can't say that I haven't thought about leaving," he suddenly confessed, gazing at me with pained eyes. "But I would never wish the same for you. I'm not sure who are what is in Portland―"

"Let me stop you right there." I set my pencil down. "I thought we'd already established that I have no idea why Alice had that vision. As far as I know, there's no one in Portland that I know."

"But you have thought of running," he reminded me gently.

I smiled sadly. "We both have."

Edward frowned pensively. "I'm not sure if I can, any more. I thought I could help you through this, whatever it is that man did to you. After seeing how he left you, back in Tacoma…" He shook his head, dispersing the dark gleam of hatred that briefly burned in his eyes. "But the longer I stay, the weaker my resolve grows. And then, to find out you already knew I would eventually depart? It's no wonder you evaded my attempts to speak with you, right from the beginning."

I wanted to tell him that he was wrong. That I evaded him, because I wasn't the girl of this story. But how would that sound better? At the time, I thought he'd sooner drink me dry, than fall in love with me. The memory wouldn't exactly reassure him.

"If you do, I hope you'll heed my warning. Please don't drag the Volturi into it," I requested.

Edward was under the assumption that I could also see the future. Eventually, I would dissuade him of this notion, but in the case that I didn't and he somehow ended up in the exact same place, Aro would know.

Edward wouldn't just be bringing the Volturi down on his family and the Quileutes, but on me as well.

He chuckled humorlessly. "Believe me, knowing what I do now, Italy is the last place I'd go."

The dark gleam had returned to his eyes.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"...I thought you knowing what I was thinking during that first day in biology would be the most wretched thing you could know about me. At the very least, James' coven, or even Jasper's attempt on your life are not in my control. But then, to have you tell me that I would continue to hurt you and put you in danger via my own actions? It's vexing. I try to envision a future in which we are together, and I am not the cause of your suffering. But then, you would know better than I, wouldn't you?"

I met his sad gaze. "I would." I paused, unsure of whether revealing my current thoughts was a good idea, but went ahead regardless. "In the future that I know, I am a vampire." Bella is a vampire, I mentally corrected. "And there's a moment, when I ask if you miss my humanity. And you say something along the lines of, 'I am missing nothing. No one has more than I do now.'"

Edward was a stone statue.

"I don't want to be a vampire, but at the same time...me becoming one would not be the end of the world. I know that's not how you see it, Edward, but it is what it is. Just think about that, whenever you decide it's time to leave."

I didn't want him to leave. Edward was my crutch. But how could I be selfish enough to ask him to stay, when I knew that wouldn't always be what he wanted?

"So you do believe I will leave, regardless of everything you've told me?" he whispered.

"I can't say," I admitted. "But you're good at running, Edward. In more ways than one. I'm not sure anything I say could change your mind."

"It's why you hold so much of yourself back," he quietly realized. He vanished from his chair and reappeared, kneeling beside me. "It's why," he gently pressed his fingers against my chest, right where my heart beat, "You refuse to care for me as deeply as I care for you."

Something sharp lodged in my throat. "Yes."

He pressed his cool forehead against my shoulder. "You're much stronger than I. If I could…" he trailed off.

"Stronger, huh?" I repeated, resting a hand against his gleaming copper locks. "More like a girl with a long string of unhealthy-coping mechanisms. I don't think either of us are the patrons for mental stability."

He heaved a sigh and lifted his head. "No, perhaps not."

"Listen," I murmured, sliding my fingers through his disarray of hair and along his cheek. "I don't know why Alice saw what she did, but I currently don't plan on going anywhere. You've made sure as much."

"I've already seen it for myself, and I was wondering if you'd allow me to drive you? You may not know the reason, but Alice's vision was clear. I'd like to be a part of that vision as well."

"Alright," I agreed, feeling a little unsure. I technically didn't know what I was agreeing to. "Now, get up. I think this is Mr. Banner's homework and I could use a little help."

Edward laughed, but pulled up a chair beside me regardless.

As promised, Charlie swung around the house and dressed down before driving us down to the diner for dinner. Because most of our nights had been consumed with watching spring training, Charlie took the opportunity to catch up with everything I'd been up to. He was endearingly awkward about it, and I was once more painfully reminded of my own dad.

"So, how are you and that Edwin kid?" he asked while cutting into his steak.

I rolled my eyes, but didn't correct him. "He dropped by the house today." At Charlie's sharp glance, I elaborated, "To drop off my homework. You worry too much, chief."

"I think the problem is, I don't worry enough," he grumbled. "But...you're doing better now, right?"

"Yep. Today was the worst of it," I shrugged. "I'll spare you the gory details." As I had learned during my first week in Forks, Bella's cycle was regular, but short, lasting all of three days. And Edward's little trip to Alaska had ensured that he wouldn't be around for it, thank Jesus.

"Oh, well, that's good," was the best Charlie could offer, to my eternal amusement.

"Thanks," I said dryly.

"Ah, what I meant―"

"Don't sweat it, chief," I snickered. "On the bright side, I did get all my homework done. Took me most of the afternoon. Mr. Varner doesn't mess around."

To my surprise, Charlie snorted, "Tell me about it."

I gaped. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, well," Charlie was momentarily flustered, before admitting, "He was my trig teacher as well."

"No way! What was he like?" I leaned forward, abandoning my chicken tenders.

"Probably not much different than he is now," he laughed. "He was really young, and not as confident. If anything, he's probably more of a hardass now than he was back then."

I gasped. "You got any good stories?!" Jessica would freak if he did.

"What? No. Eat your chicken tenders. We are not gossiping about your teachers," he chided me.

I pouted and grumbled, "You know you want to."

Charlie shot me an amused look. "I'll think about it."

"I'll hold you to it," I cheerfully agreed and returned to my dinner.

It was a little later, when he was pulling out his wallet, that I noticed the picture of a young couple framed within it. Of course, before I could think better of it, I asked, "Who're they?"

"These are your grandparents," he said, tilting his wallet so that I could get a better glimpse of them

"Oh!" I scrambled to reply. Shit. Of course. I would know that, if I were actually Bella, damn it!

"I'm not surprised you didn't recognize them. A lot of the pictures up in the house were taken when they were older. They're very young here, the way I like to remember them," Charlie reminisced quietly, eyes wistful, and I quite suddenly felt like an intruder. Being witness to his pain when I wasn't even his daughter? It left me feeling untethered and longing for my own home.

"Oh, I see." But I didn't see. There were so many pictures of Bella around the house that it was now mere instinct to avoid every frame, regardless of the picture. I could barely stand to look into the mirror half the time, and the pictures of Bella were a crushing reminder that I didn't belong.

So, if there were pictures of Charlie's parents in the house, I'd be the last to know.

"I really should tell you more about them," Charlie smiled faintly. "Maybe one of these days I'll take you down to the reservation to visit Uncle Quil."

I faltered. "Did you just say Uncle Quil?" I asked weakly.

"You don't remember? I guess you were young the last time you saw him and Aunt Molly. She's not around any longer. We all thought she would have outlived Old Uncle Quil…"

"So, what you're saying, is that that kid, Quil, is my cousin?" I mumbled, the puzzle pieces suddenly beginning to fit into a more coherent story.

"Yes! Sorry, Bells. I really thought you remembered. Guess introductions are in order?" he suggested as he heaved himself from his seat.

"Right," I agreed faintly while he headed over to the register at the counter, wallet in hand.

Suddenly, Jacob imprinting on Renesmee didn't feel so out of the blue, because all the other wolves had imprinted within the tribe. And if I was blood-related to the tribe, who was to say any kid of mine wasn't a candidate imprintee?

"Bells? You ready to go?" Charlie called.

"Coming!"

Was it any wonder Alice saw me running for the hills?

The ride back to the house was silent, but with Charlie, it wasn't awkward. Which left me to my thoughts. And although it was nothing that I really needed to worry about for the time being, I knew that one day in the future, no kid of mine would be taking a single step into Forks. I would make sure of it.

Charlie didn't waste any time dressing down and heading for the living room.

"You going to bed, Bells?" he called from the couch.

"Yep. Good night!" I said, but lingered by the kitchen entrance, hesitating when I caught sight of the pile of mail on the kitchen table. Charlie must've picked it up before we left for the diner. Conspicuously, I peeked into the living room and found Charlie already settled in, TV blaring.

It'd been a week since I'd mailed the letter to the author. It's probably too soon to be checking, but…

I slowly closed the distance and began to shift through the stack, heart pounding, painful and loud against my ears, mouth dry with anticipation. And there, at the very bottom, I found a small, crisp envelope addressed to Isabella Swan.

I picked it up with clammy hands, double checking that it was in fact, from Zaire White. And then my eyes dropped to the return address below her name, and a peculiar feeling fluttered in my chest.

The return address was not from the publishing company, but was a personal one―which, if I had to guess, belonged to the home of the author.

And it was located in Portland.

A/N: And now we see why Isabella's trip to Portland was inevitable. Now the question is whether she'll allow Eddie to join her or not x)

Although the fact some of you were excited for her to pull a New Moon is a bit concerning. I only meant it as joke xD

Anyway, thank you for reading! I'll try my best to update soon! :)