XLIX. The Stranger Who Lies Behind My Eyes

It was late by the time I returned to the house. But Charlie must've been on the lookout, because when I reached the front door he was already there, waving me inside.

"She's waiting for you in your room," he said, voice hushed.

I lowered my voice to match his. "Did she say why she was here?" I asked, removing my coat as he shut the door behind me.

Charlie shook his head. "She showed up out of the blue and wouldn't tell me; just kept asking questions about you."

"Okay…" I frowned and turned to gaze up at the stairway in trepidation. "Wish me luck."

"I'll order up some pizza."

"That's probably for the best," I muttered as I crossed the hall and climbed the stairs.

But when I reached the door to my room, I hesitated.

A swell of anxiety bloomed in my chest and twisted through my airways. I had run out of time to compose myself. If anyone could mark me as an imposter, it would be Renée.

I pushed open the door.

"What the hell."

A suitcase―Bella's suitcase―was thrown open across my bed, half-filled with a disarray of clothes.

A woman stood at my closet, sifting through and removing even more articles of clothing.

"Bella!" she exclaimed, turning to me with a bright smile. Her hair was the same shade as mine, though the ends barely brushed against her shoulders, her eyes were a vivid blue, and her face was a near-identical reflection of my own; a bitter reminder of what I'd stolen from her.

"Re―mom," I croaked, unable to even plaster a smile across my face. "What…what are you doing?"

"Oh, Bella! I have wonderful news," she said, tossing one of my blouses into the suitcase and hurrying to my side, grasping my hands in her's. "Phil got signed on with the Suns. We're settling in Jacksonville, Florida. You're going to love it there―it's sunny all the time and we're getting a house right by the beach!"

Renée gazed at me with glowing eyes and an earnest smile.

"But…I don't want to go to Jacksonville."

Like a switch, the joy drained from her gaze and her expression shuttered close. "I don't understand."

"I'm happy here," I said, gently squeezing her hands. "In Forks."

She ripped her hands out of my grasp. "Forks? You hate Forks, Bella. Don't you remember?" She sounded desperate.

"I don't anymore," I said. "I have a life here now. Friends, a boyfriend, Charlie."

"And what about me? Am I no longer a part of your life?"

I dropped my gaze with a wince.

"You don't email me. You ignore my calls. God, Bella, when was the last time we even spoke?!"

I didn't answer her. It was already obvious how badly I'd fucked this up. I didn't know why I'd thought I could get away with this. Why I thought I could get away with cutting Renée out of my life.

"Bella?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Did I do something wrong? You can tell me, baby. I promise, we can fix this."

I shook my head and took a step away from her. "No. There's nothing to fix."

Renée herself had never been the problem. Chatting with her over the phone at first hadn't been so bad, and perhaps if I hadn't had to play the role of Bella, I could've grown to like her.

But I wasn't Bella. And I didn't want to pretend.

At least with Charlie, who didn't have a close relationship with Bella prior to my arrival, the sudden change in personality hadn't tipped him off. I could mostly be myself and he might feel bad, because he didn't know his "daughter" as well as he'd thought he had. But for my own sake, I would not spare him of those feelings.

Distancing myself from Bella's mom hadn't been intentional. I'd avoided one call, and then another. Until I could pretend that her existence was no longer my concern.

And then, Renée said the words which I feared most. "You're not Bella."

"What?" I gasped, eyes shooting up to catch her cold, distant gaze. The pressure of anxiety in my chest surged until it constricted my lungs and narrowed my vision.

"You're not my Bella," she repeated. "I don't know what's happened to you. I knew sending you here was a mistake, but I won't stand for it any longer. You're coming to Jacksonville with me and that's final."

I gaped. "You can't…you can't force me to leave with you!"

In the last two months I had lost everything. And yet…I had gained so much. I couldn't lose that. Not again. The mere thought incited a flood of fear so sickening, I could barely breathe.

"You've left me with no choice, Bella!" Renée snapped. "You won't talk to me. You won't tell me what's going on. The best thing now would be for you to come home."

I shook my head and took another step back. "The best thing for me? Or the best thing for you?"

"Bella…" Tears flooded her eyes. "You don't mean that."

"I do," I said, voice shaking. "Otherwise you wouldn't be forcing me to leave Forks. This is my home now. Not Phoenix, and certainly not Jacksonville. Why can't you understand that?"

Renée's expression twisted into something painful. "Finish packing your things," she said hoarsely. "We're leaving tomorrow."

She squeezed past me through the doorway and thumped down the stairs.

I pushed the door shut after her and dug my cellphone out of my pocket.

It rang only twice, before the call was answered.

"Hello?"

"Zee," I gasped, sitting at the foot of my bed, the edge of the suitcase digging into my spine. "I really, really messed up."

"Hold on, take a deep breath," she said. "And slowly, tell me everything."

Downstairs, I could hear Renée shouting something at Charlie.

I took a shuddering breath. "Okay…"

As plainly as I could, I told her about my arrangement with Charlie, about how I'd never actually met Renée prior to tonight, about how she wanted to take me away.

"I don't want to leave," I finally said in a whisper. "Everything has only recently started to make sense for me. I can't start again. Not with her." Not when she looked at me with that pained expression, knowing, plain as day, that I was not Bella.

"No, I don't imagine you would," Zee murmured. "But, Isabella. There's no easy solution to this. I understand why you tried to cut her out, but that's no longer an option. You have to talk to her."

"And tell her what?" I demanded. "That her daughter is dead?!"

"Of course not," Zee huffed, not sounding at all put off by my panic. "But there needs to be a measure of honesty. Tell her about your life in Forks. And give her a reason that she can understand as to why you've avoided her calls. Until you talk to her, she won't let up. She loves you."

"She loves Bella," I corrected her glumly.

"So do it for Bella," Zee said. "Renée can never know that her daughter is gone, so give her at least this: Peace of mind. I know it's not fair to you, or her. But don't just push her away. It'll only cause more pain."

"Yeah," I whispered. "You're right. It's just…hard."

"Trust me, I understand," Zee said, voice suddenly thick with emotion. And I believed her. "Now, get some rest. It's getting late. Perhaps it's a conversation best had in the morning."

"Okay, I will," I said. "Thank you."

"Anytime, hon. Goodnight."

"Night," I said and shut my phone close.

I dropped my face into my hands and exhaled a shaky sigh. It was all too much―Serena vanishing, my own impending disappearance, Renée's unexpected arrival.

But then, maybe this was for the best. Could I leave the Cullens behind, if it meant ensuring my own safety?

I shot up when a knock against my window alerted me to Edward's presence. Quickly, I hurried over to let him inside, before throwing myself into his arms.

"Easy," he murmured, wrapping one arm around me, using his free hand to shut the window behind him. "It's okay."

"Is it?" I whispered against him, fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt. "Is this what I have to do, Edward? Leave?"

"No," he said firmly, curling his other arm around me and crushing me against him. "You can't. Whoever this person is, they will follow you."

"Fuck," I breathed.

There was a hard edge to Edward's voice when he said, "I know."

For a long moment, Edward simply held me tightly. The pressure of his arms crushed the mounting anxiety and fear, reduced it to a mere echo, until I felt safe once more.

And when it felt like I could breathe normally again, I said with a small sigh, "I need to clean up.".

Edward slowly pulled away, clearly reluctant. "Did she do this?" he asked, eyeing the mess of clothes behind me with a critical eye.

"Yes," I sighed again.

"I can do it," he assured me. "I'm faster."

"Thank you," I smiled at him. "I'll go get ready for bed. Will you stay?"

"Certainly," he murmured, leaning down to press a gentle kiss against my temple. "Go on."

I turned, but when I opened the top drawer of my dresser, I stared blankly at the empty space. "My pajamas are gone."

"Here." Edward suddenly appeared at my side, a folded set of sweatpants and a t-shirt in his hand.

"Thanks." I flashed him a grateful smile, before leaving the room and firmly shutting the door behind me.

I went through my routine hurriedly, hoping to avoid a run-in with Renée. I would push it to the morning, like Zee had suggested. I was too spent to be anything short of curt with her now.

But it was not Renée who stood outside the bathroom door when I was done. It was Charlie.

"Bella," he said, looking to me with a sigh of relief when I stepped out into the hall. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," I sighed, clutching my day clothes to my chest. "I don't want to leave Forks."

Charlie's gaze softened. "I know. And Renée can't actually force you to leave. You'll always have a place here. As long as you want it."

"Thank you," I said with a shaky smile.

"And I did order pizza, if you're hungry."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I lost my appetite. I'm going to bed, okay?"

"Okay," Charlie said, surprising me when he tugged me close for a brief hug. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I mumbled and hurried to my room.

To my relief, it was as I'd left it this morning. There was no mess of clothes and the suitcase was stored away out of sight. And on top of my bed, the electric blanket had already been set up by Edward.

"Thanks for doing this," I said to him, dumping my clothes into the hamper, before crossing the room and pushing myself onto the tips of my toes to peck his cheek.

"It's nothing," Edward assured me gently. He cupped my jaw in his cold palm, tangling his long fingers through my hair as he leaned down and pressed a soft, lingering kiss against my mouth. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty drained," I admitted, though his kiss had left me feeling lighter. "Let's go to bed?"

Edward smiled tenderly. "Let's."

Early the next morning, I was up and ready, sitting on the front porch steps with a mug of steaming coffee warming my hands.

Edward had returned home after passing along a message from Alice: Leah and the guys were dropping by for a surprise visit. But I planned on catching them before they could make the mistake of ringing the doorbell and rousing Renée, who was dead asleep on the couch.

Truthfully, I wasn't in the best mood to entertain company. I hadn't gotten much sleep, I was on my period, and I was so stressed, I already missed Edward.

But…I wasn't ready to confront Renée just yet.

By the time Quil pulled up in his grandpa's car, the coffee had gone cold. Between the worry and the fear lumped in my throat, I hadn't quite been able to choke it down.

"Isabella!"

An unexpected smile broke out across my face when the lot of them piled out of the car and Quil called out a cheerful greeting.

I set my mug aside and hurried down the porch steps and across the driveway to meet them on the sidewalk.

"Hey guys."

"Whoa, you totally knew we were coming!" Embry accused me as he rounded the car.

"Of course she did. Classic fortune cookie move," Jacob snickered, slamming the back door shut.

I huffed. "Very funny."

"Bad time?" Leah asked with a discerning eye, leaning back against the front passenger door and crossing her arms.

I shrugged. Admittedly, I didn't look as put together as usual. My hair was pulled back into a messy braid and I was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. "I'm surfing the crimson wave. You know how it is."

"Ugh," Leah said with a wrinkle of her nose. "Yeah I do. We can bail if you're not up for our rousing company."

"Wait? What's wrong?" Quil demanded, eyes flitting between Leah and I. "What's the crimson wave?"

"It's a euphemism for being on your period, dumbass," Jacob said.

"Oh, shit," Embry said with a grimace. "That sucks."

"Yeah, well," I said, rocking back on the soles of my feet. "I'd rather hang out with you guys. My mother dropped in unannounced last night, and if it's all the same to you, I'd rather get out of here for a bit."

"Huh. Tough luck," Leah snorted. "Alright, back into the car we go."

As soon as I'd squeezed into the backseat between Embry and Jacob, Quil asked, "Where to?"

"Let's go to the diner," I suggested. It was Forks; it wasn't exactly teeming with options. "Breakfast is on me. Or, technically Charlie." I'd filched some of the money from the grocery jar. It was supposed to serve as my lunch money too, but since Edward always paid for me, it had gradually accumulated.

The guys whooped and cheered around me as Quil tore down the road.

"Thanks, Isabella!" Embry beamed.

"Thank Charlie," I snickered.

"I'm sure he'll be real pleased to hear about it," Jacob laughed.

"So? What are you guys doing on this side of town?"

"You're the fortune cookie," Quil quipped. "You tell us."

I rolled my eyes. "Very funny."

"Quil and Jacob refused to update us without your presence," Leah explained with a small huff.

"Hey, Isabella's part of this club too," Jacob said defensively.

"Yeah, yeah," Leah waved him off as Quil pulled into the parking lot.

Soon, we piled out and crowded through the entrance of the diner. At mid-morning, it was pretty bare, which meant we were soon seated at a round booth with a stack of menus passed around.

I had only intended to order some juice, maybe ask for a slice of toast. But all the worries plaguing my thoughts didn't feel quite as oppressive when surrounded by Quil's obnoxious jokes, Jacob and Embry's laughter, and Leah's exasperated expression.

I felt lighter and the abrupt hunger in my belly made itself known. So when Cora popped by to take our orders, I was all too eager to ask for their glazed strawberry pancakes.

"So," Leah said, features tightening with determination as soon as our waitress had left with our menus and orders. "What exactly did Sam and his lackeys show you?"

"First things first," Quil announced. "They're hosting a bonfire next week on Friday. He said to pass the message along to you guys, but…Emily will be attending…"

"I'll be there," Leah assured him with a careless wave. "I already laid into Emily and called her out on her bullshit. She knows where she stands with me."

I gaped. "What? Wait, when did this go down?!"

Leah shrugged, looking a little aggrieved. "Sam went and blabbed to her after our meeting with the elders. She thought that me knowing the truth could somehow…fix things. She was wrong. Obviously."

"Wow," I said in disbelief. "That's some nerve. She's clearly delusional."

"You're telling me," Leah scoffed. "But I don't care. I have just as much a right as her to be there. Probably even more so. But they don't know that yet."

"It's okay, Leah. We'll be there with you," Embry assured her.

Leah gave him a brief nod of acknowledgement, eyes softening, before sweeping her gaze back towards Quil and Jacob. "What else?"

"He basically gave us the run down on the Cullens," Jacob said, lowering his voice, even though the diner was sparsely filled. "Now that we know what they actually are, they reminded us of the treaty specifics and then took us out to show us the boundary line."

"Really?" I leaned forward, curious. "How can you tell where the boundary line is?"

"Mostly by smell," Quil said, gesturing towards his nose. "We still have the original map where the lines were drawn up, but with all the patrols the guys run along the border, the scent is pretty distinct."

"Interesting," I hummed. "Was that all?"

"Basically," Jacob snorted. "We covered a lot of ground. Paul and Jared were pissed because Sam made them carry us back."

"Oh! Oh! It was insane!" Quil gushed. "We were going so fast!"

"You used Paul and Jared like a pair of racing horses?!" Embry busted up laughing.

Leah snickered, "Wish I could've seen that!"

"It was hysterical," Jacob grinned. "Granted, we weren't supposed to mention that part. Oops."

"As if we wouldn't have!" Quil laughed, reaching across the table to high-five Embry.

"Before I forget," Jacob cut in, shooting Leah a perplexed look. "What does Rachel actually know? Apparently dad gave her some long-winded lecture, and then she called me back, demanding to know what the hell he was talking about…"

"Oh, uh, she doesn't actually know anything," Leah admitted sheepishly. "But obviously I'm going to tell her. I figured they all might as well think I already let the wolf out of the bag, before they go and try and keep me quiet."

"What's the hold up?" I asked.

"In a second," she said, as Cora and another server arrived with our breakfast.

An assortment of pancakes, waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast was distributed around the table, and we thanked Cora before enthusiastically digging in.

It was amazing. This body really, really liked strawberries.

"I don't want to tell Rachel all this over the phone," Leah finally said around a sip of her orange juice. "It's a conversation best had in person. Problem is figuring out how to get to Seattle."

I perked up. "We can give you a ride!"

"Huh? Who's we?" Quil asked.

"I'm going shopping with Alice and Rosalie in Seattle on Saturday," I explained. "We could drop you off at the campus before we hit the mall?"

Leah rubbed her nose. "I'll probably get a headache from being stuck in a car with them, but I'll take it."

I winced. "Yeah, it's pretty much unavoidable."

"I wonder why Rach didn't visit us," Jacob said with a frown. "She mentioned she would."

"That one's on me," Leah said, cutting into her syrup-soaked waffles. "With all the nonsense going on around here, I told her to stay in Seattle."

"Speaking of which," I said with a grimace. "I've been meaning to tell you―you were right."

"Sure," Leah snorted. "About what exactly?"

"It's Paul who will imprint on Rachel."

"What the fuck," Jacob hissed.

Embry eyes nearly bugged out. "Shit, no way!"

Quil said something unintelligible around a mouthful of bacon.

"I fucking called it," Leah sneered. "Typical."

"Figured she could use a warning," I said.

"Yeah, no kidding," Jacob scowled. "I don't want that meathead as my brother-in-law!"

Embry winced. "Tough luck, man."

"Wait, wait," Quil said once he'd swallowed. "Does that mean you know who the rest of us are supposed to imprint on?!"

All of their gazes swiveled towards me, piercing with their expectancy.

"…Only you, Quil," I confessed with a grimace.

"What's with the face?" Quil asked, immediately suspicious. "Is it bad? Why is it bad?!"

I cringed. "Because…she's a baby."

"And just when I thought this couldn't get any more fucked up," Leah hissed. "Quil you better stay the hell away from that baby!"

"Obviously!" he snapped, nerves frayed.

"Wait, what baby?!" Jacob demanded.

"Claire Young."

Embry gaped. "Isn't that Emily's niece?"

"She is," Leah grimaced. "And she's one."

"Fuck," Quil breathed, dropping his fork against his plate with a clatter. "I think I lost my appetite."

"Same here," Jacob sighed and patted Quil's back. "It's okay, buddy. Nothing's happened yet."

"And nothing will happen," Leah decided. "We're all going to make sure to keep Quil away from the baby. Agreed?"

"Agreed," we all chimed.

"Come on," I said. "Let's get out of here."

I dropped enough bills on the table to cover the food and tip, and slid out of the booth after them.

Outside, we bypassed Quil's grandpa's car and dropped around a picnic table, where we could speak a little more freely.

"If it makes it better," I added, observing Quil's disturbed expression. "You'll be like her big brother. But still, you'll be beholden to the whims of a child."

"That sounds horrible," he cried.

"Yeah, I know…"

Leah cut in with a sharp sigh. "Is there anything else that we should know?"

I tilted my head in thought, reviewing my memories of the wolf pack.

Finally, I said, "There is one thing."

They all leaned close with anticipation.

"I know I warned you that your thoughts would be shared amongst the pack," I said. "But…breaking away from the pack is possible."

"How?!" Leah was quick to demand.

The guys exchanged apprehensive looks.

"I only know of one way," I admitted. "I don't know that you could, Leah. But I know for certain that Jacob could."

"Wait, me? Why?" Jacob asked, bewildered.

"You're the rightful leader of the pack. It's your birthright," I explained. "If you refuse Sam's leadership, you could break away, along with anyone who decides to follow you."

Quil whistled. "Wicked."

"Is that…really such a good idea?" Jacob wondered, looking young and unsure.

"You have to," Leah pleaded. "I can't possibly share a headspace with Sam!"

"It's still a while before any of you shift," I reminded them. "It's just something to keep in mind."

"Whatever," Leah bit out, looking miserable.

"Hey," Quil said. "We told you about having to go sniffing in the woods. Meanwhile, you guys got to hang out with Isabella at a dance!"

"You definitely missed out," Embry said with a cheeky grin.

That did the trick to break the tension, as Embry, Leah, and I told them about Sadie Hawkins. Despite all the teasing about missing out, the mood was lighter and we had a good time.

It was when I checked my phone that I realized it was already past noon. "Sorry guys, I have to get going. Carlisle is removing my stitches today."

"Aw, boo," Quil complained.

"Be grateful she didn't kick us to the curb for showing up unannounced," Leah scolded him.

"Thank you for not kicking us to the curb," Jacob winked teasingly.

"Don't be so sure I won't next time," I huffed as we pushed ourselves to our feet and began heading for the car.

"Aw, don't be like that," Quil called after me.

I rolled my eyes. "Just take me home, Quil."

The teasing and the quips were just as rampant on the drive back to the house, but it didn't quite soften the edge of knowing who awaited me there. I stalled long enough to let Leah know I'd call her when I had the final details about the Seattle trip.

And then, they were gone.

The house was quiet when I drew open the door.

I felt uneasy as I made my way in, Renée's muted presence looming like a bad omen. I had grown so comfortable in this place, and yet, it had been so easily breached by the only person who could see me for the stranger that I was.

I found her sitting at the kitchen table, a mug of something hot held between her hands.

"Bella," she said when she saw me standing under the archway. But she no longer seemed angry; just sad.

This time, I was prepared to say, "Mom."

"Did you have a good time with your friends?" she asked.

"Tell her about your life in Forks." That's what Zee had said. And it had been so much easier, back when I believed my life here was only temporary; that I could somehow, impossibly, return home.

But that had been a lie. And so was whatever platitudes I would inevitably give Renée. But Zee had been right; there was no sense in causing any more unnecessary pain.

"Yeah, I did," I finally answered, edging closer and carefully taking a seat across from her. "Do you want to hear about it?"

Renée's eyes lit up. "Of course, baby."

I knew Edward would be here to pick me up soon, but for the moment, I sat with Renée. And I told her about Leah, and Quil, and Embry, and Jacob.

And the gap that had felt insurmountable and impossibly vast between us, seemed to bridge the slightest bit closer.

A/N: The Seattle trip will finally be covered in the next chapter! Promise!

And please feel free to review! :)