LI. Sheltered by Your Heart

Alice's words effectively chased away our good mood and the trip was cut short. We picked up Leah in the same spot we'd dropped her off at.

"How did it go with Rachel?" I asked her, in an effort to distract myself. The image of Alice's ominous vision kept flashing across my thoughts, fear crawling through my chest like liquid nitrogen and turning my heart to ice.

But this wasn't something I could share with Leah. And the others, aware of this, remained quiet, likely contemplating the family meeting now imminent.

"As best as I could hope," Leah blew out a muffled sigh behind the fabric of her mask, slumping back against her seat. "She believes me, but she warned me that she couldn't stay away from La Push for the rest of her life."

"And she knows about Paul?"

I wondered how Leah had explained that. Had she told Rachel about my so-called abilities?

"She does," she said. "Which is the only reason she's willing to keep her distance for at least a few years."

"I suppose having an adult imprint on her is a better deal than some high school kid…"

Leah shrugged and crossed her arms. "It's really the only thing keeping her away. Rachel is just as meddlesome as the rest of us. If it weren't for Paul, she'd be taking the first bus home."

"Why? There's not much she can do."

"I know that," Leah huffed quietly. "But she's worried about Jacob and I. And I know all too well what it feels like to be left in the dark, so I can understand where she's coming from."

I dropped my gaze, unable to form a response. How angry would Leah be, if she knew of all the things I'd kept from her?

Somehow, Rosalie drove us back home even faster than I thought possible.

When we pulled up to my house and Esme stood to let us out from the backseat, I quickly climbed out and crossed the driveway after Leah. "Is it okay if you drive yourself back to La Push? You can borrow my truck obviously."

Leah abruptly whirled around, eyeing me closely, before looking over my shoulder, where Esme still stood beside the open passenger door, waiting for me to return.

"Isabella, what's going on?" she asked, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

I crossed my arms and cast my gaze aside, unable to keep up any sort of pretense. I was too on edge, nerves frayed.

Was it wrong of me to keep this from Leah? At this point in our friendship, I knew I could trust her to believe me; to believe me when I said it wasn't the Cullens who would hurt me.

But Leah was reckless, impulsive; even more so than me. What would she do, if she knew I was meant to die?

"Hey," she said, the sharp edge suddenly easing from her voice. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"It's…" I trailed off, failing to find the right words.

Leah's face twisted with uncertainty. "I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other."

The unexpected guilt was like a knife to the chest.

"There's so much, Leah," I whispered, eyes lowered. "So much that I haven't told you."

"Why not?" she demanded.

"Because…" I blinked away the sting of tears. "I can't talk about it. It's too painful. I can't help myself, Leah, but…I thought that maybe I could help you."

"You did," she told me firmly, eyes somber. "…And I think maybe, it's time for me to return the favor."

I shook my head. "There's nothing you or anyone else can do." No one could return me to my old life. And according to Alice, no one could keep me from death in this life.

"Says you," Leah scoffed, undeterred. "After the bonfire on Friday, you'll stay over at my place. You can tell me everything then."

My eyes shot up in surprise. "…It doesn't sound like you're giving me much of a choice," I said, lips curling into a wry smile.

Leah smirked. "I'm not. Now, where are your keys?"

I huffed quietly in disbelief. "They're inside. Come on."

Once I saw Leah off, I returned to Rosalie's car, where Esme still stood, waiting for me.

"Come here," she murmured, pulling me into a firm hug.

I sunk into her cold embrace, gripping her tightly and pressing my face against her shoulder.

"We'll get through this, sweet girl," she assured me, holding me just as tight. "Together."

"Thank you," I whispered, words muffled.

"Come on, the boys are waiting for us back at the house," she said, pulling back and gently guiding me into the backseat.

Wordlessly, Alice reached over and gripped my hand in her's, eyes still lost. I curled my fingers around her icy palm, the shock of cold serving to ground me.

I slowly breathed around the surging panic. Nothing would happen tonight; that much, I could count on. And if Alice was still lost in her visions, then perhaps there was hope.

Still, the drive back to their place was silent with dread. I could hardly stand it.

When we arrived, Esme had barely stepped out and pushed forward the front seat, before Edward was there, pulling me out of the car and into his arms.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I don't know," I admitted.

He squeezed me tightly, before ushering me inside. To my surprise, we gathered in the living room, rather than the dining room. Edward lead me to sit on the couch, while the others stood in various spots around the room, faces carved from stone. I leaned against Edward's side as his cool fingers combed through my hair.

Alice dropped directly onto the floor, hands braced against the coffee table, her eyes staring at some invisible point on the surface.

"I know Edward here has a damn clear picture of what's going on in that freaky little head of yours," Emmett spoke first, brow furrowed and arms crossed. "But we could use some details, Alice."

Her head remained bowed, but she answered him all the same. "It's like this," she began. "Exactly three weeks ago, a decision was made, and Isabella's future shifted onto a single path. Events I cannot foresee lead to her near death, but we reach her in time to turn her. When I devised a different path in which we left Forks, there was no one to save her. Without our intervention, she dies."

I already knew all this. So what had changed?

"And you said this would all happen before the end of spring," I prompted her.

"Yes. In both futures, a funeral is arranged for you. Either because you die or because we falsify your death. The date on the gravestone kept flipping between the months of March, April, May, and June."

I felt like I could barely speak. "And now?"

Alice lifted her head, golden eyes clear and focused. "April."

"Oh," I croaked.

It was too soon. Much too soon.

An unsettling stillness permeated the room, stealing the breath from my lungs.

It was Emmett who broke the silence once more. "Well, what if we left, but took Izzy with us?"

But already, the others were shaking their heads.

"You know we can't afford to draw that kind of attention," Jasper said, lips pursed in frustration. "Besides, there's no sense in causing an alarm, only to be condemned by the Volturi at a later date."

"It doesn't matter," Alice said. "Staying or leaving―whatever is after Isabella, will follow her."

The icy flood of fear consumed my heart again. Edward had said as much, when Renée had wanted to take me to Florida. But to think that whomever was after me would still follow me, even while under the protection of the Cullens, was terrifying.

Rosalie's sudden scoff took me by surprise. We all turned to her and she met each of our gazes with a severe frown. "I think it's obvious what we need to do. We should just change her now."

I was unable to hear anything beyond that. April was right around the corner, and that was horrifying enough. But to change now? Renée hadn't even left. I had school on Monday and the bonfire on Friday. I still had so much to tell Leah. I didn't want to say goodbye. Not to her or Jessica or anyone else.

"Well, Isabella?" I heard Rosalie say, snapping me out of my spiraling thoughts. "There's no sense in endangering you or the rest of the family. If the outcome is you becoming a vampire, then we can remedy that here and now."

I meant to agree. To say that she was right. It wasn't fair of me to drag this out any longer, just because I wanted to be human.

What I asked instead was, "Wouldn't it incite a war with the tribe?"

To my surprise, it was Carlisle who shook his head. "Either way, we will be breaking the treaty. There's no getting around that."

Finally, Edward spoke, voice tight, "I promised Isabella that I would do everything to make sure she remained human for as long as possible. If she doesn't want to be turned now, then I won't allow it."

Rosalie glowered at him. "Edward, you absolute moron―"

"Rose," Esme cut in sternly. "Mind your manners."

Rosalie huffed, but backed off, expression displeased.

"Why don't we give Iz a few days to think it over?" Jasper suggested. "We have at least that much time. Right, Alice?"

Alice nodded sharply. "We do. The numbers are leaning more towards the end of April."

"A week," Rosalie decided. "We'll give you a week to think about it. But beyond that, we can't afford to waste anymore time."

"I understand," I said, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Isabella."

I looked up and met Carlisle's concerned eyes from across the room. "Am I correct in thinking you know exactly what the transformation will be like?"

I abruptly withdrew from Edward's arms and stood to my feet. "Yes. But whatever happens, be sure to pump me up with some morphine, okay doc? I'm going to get some air. Excuse me."

I turned and hurried from the room, exiting through the glass doors and traipsing down the porch steps.

I stomped through the thick grass, tears of frustration blurring my vision. It was stupid of me, but I'd hoped that I could outrun this. That I could escape whatever fate had in store for me, despite Alice's every warning. Because it hadn't felt real. Not until now. I was a fool.

"Isabella, wait."

I paused and turned around to face Edward. In the falling gloom, all I could see was the pale glow of his skin.

"Come here."

I rushed forward into his embrace, wrapping my arms securely around his waist. "I'm sorry."

Edward huffed an exasperated laugh. "Sorry? Don't be absurd."

When I didn't say, couldn't say, anything, Edward murmured, "You know you don't have to do this, right?"

"I know," I said thickly against the fabric of his coat. Alice hadn't warned us that anyone but me was in danger, but Rosalie was right to be cautious. And I'd already endangered my family once, long ago. I refused to do the same to my new family. "But I will, because this is the safer choice. Or would you rather we be caught up in something that even Alice can't see?"

"What I want," he said. "What I've always wanted is for you to be happy."

I pulled back far enough to gaze up at him. "Humanity makes me happy," I said. "But you make me happier."

He grinned crookedly. "Thank you."

I reached up and kissed his cheek. "Still," I said. "I'm sorry. You're not the one directly in danger, so I don't have to worry for you. I don't imagine you find this easy."

"I don't," he acknowledged quietly. "But whatever it is that I have to endure to keep you in my life, I will do it."

"Thank you," I said, resting my cheek against his shoulder. "I wish I were easier to keep alive. Sometimes, I wonder what the point of me being here is, when avoiding tragedy feels so impossible."

"You're here," Edward said. "Because your life was cut short too soon."

"I'm not a special case," I scoffed. "Many die young."

"But not you. You were given a second chance."

"And why do you think that is?"

"Because," Edward murmured and briefly bent his head to press his lips to my crown. "This world is a much better place with you in it."

"You're being cheesy again," I giggled. But his words flooded my chest with warmth.

"I know," he chuckled. "Come on, it's getting late. We should get you back home."

"I guess so," I agreed reluctantly and sighed.

Despite that, we lingered in each other's arms, where I was safe and my fears eluded me.

Back at the house, Renée was quick to greet me at the door.

"Bella, you're back again!" she beamed. "Wait, where are your shopping bags?"

I halted, startled. "Oh shoot. I left them in Rosalie's convertible."

"Oh no, did they leave already?" she demanded, rushing to the door.

"Don't bother," I said, hanging up my coat. "Edward drove me back, so all the shopping bags are at their house."

"Bella," she whined, turning to me. "I was curious to see what you bought. You've never liked shopping before."

I shrugged. "It's fun going with friends."

"Oh."

Renée's presence in the house had been strange. There was nothing to do in Forks, so I'd been forced to keep her entertained. But even with my efforts, the disconnect between us was obvious.

She didn't want me. She wanted Bella. For that, I couldn't blame her.

"I'm completely wiped," I said, faking a yawn. "I'm going to bed. You should too. We need to be up early for your flight."

Renée heaved a sigh. "You're right, of course. Go on then. Goodnight, baby."

Too relieved to not have her argue, I hurried upstairs, calling back, "Goodnight!"

I went through the motions of getting ready for bed, but once I was settled in my room, I gathered every last journal and notebook I could find.

Rosalie had given me a week and I'd be damned if I allowed the venom to wipe away my every memory. She'd been right about one thing. Not everyone had the luxury of foresight.

I decided to start off with my knowledge of Twilight. From the plotline, to the vampires, to the vampire lore, to their government. It would be a less neater version of the Illustrated Guide, but it would serve me well.

For the next several hours I sat at my desk, scribbling every fact I could remember.

And when my hand began to cramp and my sight began to blur, I set my pen down. I lifted my notebook and skimmed through the pages I'd filled, making sure it was all coherent, until I paused at an entry.

To keep Marcus in the coven, Aro murdered his own sister, Didyme, Marcus' mate.

Heart in my throat, I carefully ripped out the bottom of the page where it was written with trembling fingers.

Some things, were best left forgotten.

I got about an hour of rest, before I was up once more, stuck in the back of the cruiser as Charlie drove Renée out to the airport in Port Angeles.

I pretended to sleep, lying across the backseat, planning to avoid the awkwardness between Charlie and Renée. At some point, I must've actually dozed off, because when I came to, they were quietly talking.

"She's changed so much," Renée was saying.

"She has," Charlie agreed. "But she's happy, so what does it matter?"

"You don't understand," she bit out quietly. "It's like…she's a different person."

"People change, Renée. You didn't expect her to stay our little girl forever, did you?"

"No, but it feels so sudden. There's something wrong. I just can't put my finger on it."

Charlie's voice hardened. "Think what you like."

"I don't know why I expected you to understand," she snapped. "You wouldn't know. You didn't watch her grow up."

I didn't need to see Charlie's face, to know his hurt.

"Are we almost there?" I asked, voice flat.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Yes, we're about to pull in."

An awkward silence descended.

It wasn't broken until we'd walked Renée all the way to security.

"Bella," she began. "I'll miss you. You'll visit soon, right?"

"Summer's right around the corner," I said, putting aside my irritation and offering her a small smile. After all, it wasn't her fault that she was right.

And while taking it out on Charlie wasn't okay, right now wasn't the time to come to his defense. Today would be the last day she'd see the face of her daughter. It would be her last memory. I could hardly find it in myself to sour that.

Renée pulled me into a tight hug. "I can't wait!"

"Me too," I said. "Goodbye, mom."

"Goodbye, Bella."

Charlie and I lingered until she disappeared and then headed out to the car.

To my surprise, he pulled me into a side hug as we walked. "Not the spring break you were expecting, huh?"

I let out a startled laugh. "You have no idea."

"Don't be too hard on your mom, kid," he said. "She's just having trouble letting go. You've grown up so fast."

"I'll try not to hold it against her," I teased.

"By the way, where's your truck?"

I shot him a sheepish smile. "I let Leah borrow it last night."

"Of course you did," Charlie huffed. "Come on, I'll take you to pick it up before Billy gets the wrong idea."

I laughed. "Alright, whatever you say chief."

Thursday morning, I awoke to the sound of someone knocking on my door.

"Bella?"

I abruptly sat up in bed, staring at Charlie through bleary eyes.

"What time is it?" I mumbled and sought my alarm clock.

9:32 AM

"Aw shit," I hissed, struggling to untangle myself from my blankets. I was over two hours late to school.

"Are you feeling alright?" Charlie asked, still standing at my door, decked out in his uniform. "I got a call from Shelly saying that you never showed up to your classes. I thought you'd ditched with that boyfriend of yours…"

I paused and turned to him with a look of exasperation. "What? Why would you think that?"

"I'm starting to wonder that myself," Charlie huffed, leaning against the doorframe. "What's going on? It's not like you to sleep through your alarm."

I rubbed the grit from my eyes. "Ugh, I don't know. I haven't been sleeping too well I guess." What I didn't tell him, was that it was of my own doing. I'd spent the last couple of nights awake, writing everything down―every memory, every fact, every detail I knew about myself and about this world. Time was running out and I refused to let a single memory go.

If not for myself, then for Edward.

"It's been a while since that's happened," Charlie said, frowning. "Anything I can do to help?"

I shook my head. "I'm sure it'll sort itself out."

Once I actually go to sleep.

"Hmm. If you're certain," he allowed. "Listen, I have to get back. But feel free to get some rest. You can go back to school tomorrow."

I smiled. "Thanks, I appreciate that, chief."

"Of course, Bells," he assured me, eyes filled with sincerity. "I'm here for you. Always."

My chest warmed with affection and in that moment, I was so grateful that I'd decided to make room for him in my heart. "Thank you, dad."

After all, he'd made room for me.

"It's no problem," he said gruffly and turned to leave. "I'll see you later tonight."

"See ya."

And then, he was gone.

For a moment, I stared blankly at the pile of notebooks on my desk.

I was almost done. If I put in the effort, I knew I could be finished by this afternoon.

But as tempting as it was to get started, I knew I needed a break. I was starting to look rough from losing out on so much sleep.

I started off by taking a long hot shower, scrubbing myself down until my skin was bright red.

Once I was dressed, I went downstairs to eat a late breakfast, before venturing outside. In my mad rush to write everything out, I hadn't been out and about much, so I slid on my parka and took a walk alongside the neighborhood road. As beautiful as the forest trails were, I figured I didn't need to tempt fate any more than I already had.

I inhaled the cold fresh air, carefully breathing around the soreness in my heart. Writing out the memories of my life had been more difficult than I'd imagined. It meant I had to remember all that had been taken from me, everyone and everything I'd lost.

And I'd been forced to grieve in a different way, as I wrote out every little anecdote that made me who I am. Stories of growing up in Mexico, of bouncing between home and the States, of helping to raise my brother, of going off to college, of becoming a teacher.

And then, I'd gotten to write about everything I'd gained. Memories of befriending Jessica, of bringing Leah into the fold, of falling in love with Edward, of finding myself cherished by a new family.

Despite the heartache, I knew I wouldn't give any of it up. Not for anything.

When I came across the empty neighborhood park, I slowed down. It was barren due to the gentle rainfall.

I sat on the single bench, feeling strangely cathartic.

"Isabella," Edward's voice suddenly called.

I lifted my gaze and found him standing on the sidewalk, hands tucked into the pockets of his coat, hair darkened and tousled with rainwater.

My gloomy thoughts seemed to settle at the mere sight of him and I smiled. "You found me."

Edward crossed the distance in a few, long strides and sat at my side, stretching out his long legs and throwing an arm behind me, across the backrest of the bench. "I've heard Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders."

A sharp laugh escaped me. "And how would you know that?"

"I read the books of course," Edward said smugly. "It was frustrating being unable to understand all of your references."

"Babe, that's not a line from the books," I told him with barely concealed laughter. "That's a line from A Very Potter Musical."

Edward frowned. "Oh. Emmett made an effort to be supportive and kept playing the movies and God knows what else."

I giggled. "Next you'll be quoting Potter Puppet Pals."

Edward smiled crookedly, looking abashed. "My apologies for the mixup. I simply want to understand everything about you."

A surge of tenderness for him swelled in my chest, until my heart felt too big, threatening to collapse my lungs below. I love you.

"Isabella? Love?" Edward murmured, reaching up with his other hand to swipe his thumb below my eye. "Why are you crying?"

I blinked and hot tears spilled past my lashes, merging with cool drops of rain.

Edward's brow furrowed, molten eyes burning with unease. "Is this about Rosalie's ultimatum? You already know you don't have to say yes."

I shook my head. "Trust me, I know."

It was the right thing to do. It wouldn't endanger anyone, least of all me, and none of them would have to worry for my safety.

It certainly wasn't easy. To willingly give up my humanity? To willingly walk away from Charlie and all my friends, knowing it would hurt them so terribly? It wasn't easy.

But it was the right decision.

Everything had been so much simpler, when I believed I didn't have a choice.

"Whatever you decide," Edward murmured. "You must know that I will always support you. I will always be on your side."

More tears welled up as I met his sincere gaze and my chest felt sore with the weight of emotion. "I love you," I whispered hoarsely, vulnerably, feeling as though I'd cut myself wide open. I burned hotly with the pain of it.

Edward's soft, golden eyes widened, bright with sudden awe. And very gently, he curved his palm along my jaw and ran his cool thumb against my skin.

My breath caught in my throat as he answered, voice ragged, "I love you, Isabella."

The words thrummed in my ears and flooded me, engulfing the empty spaces, causing permanent and irreparable change. It was incredibly terrifying, how a single person could alter the very fabric of my soul.

Not once in my life, had I ever given myself over to someone so wholly; could never have allowed another person this level of power over me. But now, my heart squeezed so tightly, so painfully, I knew I'd reached the point of no return.

Edward leaned impossibly close and I tilted my head up in tandem. Raindrops slid along the ends of his hair, pattering against my face and trailing down my skin. The combination of love and longing made breathing almost impossible.

"I love you," he whispered again, reverent.

I closed the distance, lips colliding against his, releasing the buildup of emotions I'd been keeping locked away for far too long.

He kissed me, just as fervent, repeating the words again and again between every kiss, until I feared my heart would explode and hot tears fell once again, mixing gently with the rainfall.

A/N: As always, thank you for reading! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. If so, let me know your thoughts on it :)

I'll be sure to update soon! :)