Chapter 10
The shelling had stopped and Colonel Burns stood before Colonel Potter in his office. Potter was informed of the deal that Eddy made with Frank prior by Major Houlihan who had given Potter the money that Edna waved before Frank's eyes previously in the tent.
"Thanks to that shelling, the chess tournament has been cancelled." Colonel Potter told him. He was also informed that Burns hid under the table in the mess tent and was too scared to assist the camp. "I understand you stayed in the mess tent."
"I took cover." Frank huffed.
Potter stood his ground. "I was also informed of the little deal you made with Colonel Winchester about the camp inspection report."
Frank tried to shift blame. "He tried to bribe me."
"And you took it!" he accused.
Frank gulped and stammered. "He's just a guilty." He knew he could not bluff his way out of it with Colonel Potter.
Potter had him over a barrel. "I could report that bribe to the General or…you could put in a good report for the camp and we can all pretend that bribe never happened."
"That's blackmail!" Frank huffed as he realized the five hundred dollars was slipping away.
"You give me the inspection report and you go back to Tokyo, Burns. Or, you can face a court martial. Which will it be?" Potter stood face to face with him and stared him down.
Frank was a spineless weasel and understood Potter was serious. He agreed, "Here's my notes." He handed Potter his notebook.
He smiled as he took possession of the notebook. "Good choice, Burns. I had Radar gather you a jeep and a driver. You can leave now."
"Now?" he asked disappointed.
"Now!" Potter huffed at him much like a drill sergeant.
"Now is good." he agreed and then left the tent to get his ride out of camp.
Potter watched him leave. He smiled to himself as he saved Edna five hundred dollars and got the report from Frank. He opened the locked drawer of his desk and placed the money by the engagement ring he had secured.
Meanwhile
Charles donned the white jacket as he looked in on his recovering patient after surgery. Major Tom Hardy was awake and recovering nicely. Charles picked up his chart and soon took a seat by his bed. "Your chart looks good." he stated. "How are you feeling?' he asked him.
Tom curled a lip in gratitude. "I never felt that shrapnel hit me. Last thing I remember was feeling as if something pushed me hard. I'm good…Thanks to you." He offered a handshake.
Charles graciously shook his hand, "You are quite welcome, Major."
"I was supposed to fly Captain Pierce and Major Houlihan to the orphanage to get a sick child. Did the boy survive?" he wondered.
"Edna flew Captain Pierce out while were under fire. Major Houlihan assisted me and Captain Hunnicutt with your surgery." He explained. "They got the boy to the 8063rd where they operated on him and saved his life. Then, Edna flew the chopper, with Pierce to the frontlines to find the artillery unit that was firing on us. And in classic Winchester fashion, she got a message to the gunners and flew herself and Pierce back to camp unscathed." he informed.
Tom smirked, "Your sister is a hell of a pilot. One of the best. She would make a hell of a combat pilot." he had to admit.
"She already has." he agreed. "Now, get some rest."
"Wait." Tom grasped his arm. "I wanted to ask you first since you are her big brother and all. I normally would ask her father but he's back in the states. I'm asking for your permission to ask Edna to marry me."
Charles beamed at the young man. "You have my permission. Now, get some rest." He assured the man and rose to his feet. He glanced at Tom as the man laid back and closed his eyes. He could only sigh to himself, "The fool wants to marry a Winchester."
Meanwhile
B.J Hunnicutt stood stirring the concoction he made to help Edna get the stuck fake mustache off her face. She sat on the table in the empty Operating Room as B.J. and Hawkeye worked much like made scientist.
Hawkeye joked, "Vegetable oil, Master." He mimicked Igor from the famous horror film. He held a small bottle of oil before them.
B.J. jested and smirked, "Excellent my dear assistant." He then added some oil to the small dish he held in his hand. "Brush." He held out a hand.
"Brush master." Hawkeye kept in character. He glanced over at Edna who sat rather amused.
Edna asked, "You sure this will work, Captain Hunnicutt?"
"It worked for my daughter Erin when got glue in her hair that she found in my garage." he informed. He then started to apply the mixture to the skin and fake mustache on her face.
Slowly and very gently the two doctors began to remove the mustache as the adhesive dissolved. "And…we…got…it." he cheered as the mustache was gently peeled from her face.
The pair looked upon her pretty face. They paused for a moment. Hawkeye confessed, "You are way prettier than Charles."
B.J. agreed. "So, that's what you really look like. You are way prettier than Charles."
"He was prettier when he had hair." she remarked. "I think he should shave his head an grow a full beard."
"Nah," B.J. disagreed. "We like our Charles the way he is."
Hawkeye confessed, "I forgotten how much of a pain in the ass Frank was. Charles is head and shoulders above Frank."
"Charles is a godsend compared to Frank." B.J. flatly stated.
She nodded, "Frank is a section eight." She stood up from the table and felt her smooth face. "So nice to have that off. Thank you. You two are the best." She then grinned, "Too bad everyone lives so far away from one another. I could see you two and my brother in practice together."
B.J. balked, "We would be the Three Stooges of medicine."
She laughed and grabbed her leather flight jacket that was beside her. She stated, "I'll see you two in the mess tent." She was about to leave when she paused, turned sharply on her heels and then hugged each man and planted a kiss on each man's cheek. "Thank you." she told them once more and then promptly left the tent.
B.J. smiled brightly to Hawkeye. "She likes us."
Hawkeye admitted, "If she wasn't Charles sister, I would ask her out in a heartbeat."
Meanwhile
Edna made her way to Colonel Potter's office to return his Colonel's pins. She entered the office to find the Colonel going over some papers with Radar. She greeted the pair. "Colonel, Corporal."
Sherman looked up from his work and gave a smile, "Edna." He smiled pleased, "I see you got that fake mustache off your face. I assume Hunnicutt's vegetable oil mixture worked."
"Worked great." she confirmed. She noticed Radar was gazing upon her. "Radar."
He snapped out of his stupor. "I'm sorry, Colonel. Just you are real pretty as a girl."
She teased him. "Oh, I don't know. I thought that mustache gave me some flare. Really highlighted by cheekbones."
"Um…" the boy wasn't sure what to say.
"I'm kidding." She gave the boy a hug. "Thank your for the compliment. It's nice to look like myself again." She then confessed, "I don't know how men do it. They can change their entire appearance by just shaving. You guys can grow a full beard or just a mustache or one of them goatees."
Colonel Potter rebutted, "But we also tend to lose our hair while you ladies keep a full head of hair all your lives."
Radar agreed, "I guess that's a trade off."
"Indeed it is." the Colonel replied.
Edna gave a nod and asked, "You wanted to see me?" She removed the Colonel pins from her collar and placed them on the desk.
"I received Klinger's citation for his heroics with you when you and he captured that sniper. I would like to invite you to stay and be on hand for the pinning ceremony." he stated.
"I would love to stay." she agreed. "Bronze star!"
He opened the black leather medal box before him and exposed a brand new shiny bronze star with ribbon bar. "He earned it."
"You putting in a Citation for Captain Pierce?" she asked.
"I was thinking about that. I have the paperwork right here." he motioned towards the paper before him.
She cranked her head and noticed the half filled out form. "You haven't filled out the star."
"I would like your input on that." he agreed. "I'm debating if Pierce should get the bronze star or the silver star."
She agreed, "I think flying out under fire to save a sick child is worth the silver star. I even flew him through enemy fire to get word to that artillery unit. He could have refused to go and hid under a table like Colonel Burns. That trip alone is worth five bronze stars. He's a brave man."
"The silver star it is!" he agreed. He then finished filling in the paper before him. He folded it and handed it to Radar, "Send that in right away, son."
Radar took the paper, "Yes sir."
Sherman then looked up at Eddy once more. "You see Major Hardy yet?"
"I saw him for breakfast." she nodded. "He's looking real good. Charles said he needs a few more days to recover before I can fly him back to base. He can recover the rest of the way there."
There was no mention of a proposal so the Colonel decided to not go any further into the question. "He's doing fine." he agreed.
Radar asked, "So, you will be here a few more days, Colonel?" He directed his question at Edna.
"I'm not really a Colonel, Radar and yes, I will hang out for a few more days. I have a camp inspection to write." she reminded him.
Radar blushed, "You will always be a Colonel to me. Especially how you handled Colonel Burns, captured that sniper and flew Captain Pierce to save that little boy."
Colonel Potter listened to the young man's reasons for still calling Edna by rank, though she didn't actually have a rank. He pondered what he could do to recognize her efforts.
Edna blushed, "You still don't have to call me 'Colonel', Radar."
"I would like to that is, if it's okay with you?" he requested.
"If you want to," she shrugged.
"Great." he grinned as the lowly Corporal gave her an honorary rank in the military.
Colonel Potter than got an idea on how to make that rank stick for Edna. He smiled to himself.
Edna then excused herself. "I've got some work to do. I have to write the camp inspection and then I got this brilliant idea from Captain Pierce for a new helicopter for medevac. I want to start drawing that concept up. I call it 'Operation Dust Off'. It will eliminate the litters on the skids and put the patient inside the chopper with a doctor or paramedic." she sounded rather excited about her new project.
Colonel Potter stated, "That sounds like quite a project to start, Edna."
"Eddy." she corrected. "Only Father calls me 'Edna'." she informed.
The old Colonel chuckled a bit.
She waved, "See you two at lunch." She then excused herself from the office with plans for her new chopper swirling in her head.
The Colonel then pulled a paper out from his desk drawer. "Hold on a minute before getting that citation for Pierce out, Radar."
"Sir?" the boy questioned.
"In the military we have bestowed honorary ranks onto civilians. I'm writing up a request for Edna Winchester to be given the Honorary Rank of Colonel." he informed the boy.
He grinned happy, "You mean she can be a real Colonel."
"An Honorary Colonel." he defined.
He placed his pins aside, "I'm going to give my pins to go with it."
"Sir." he looked on surprised.
"If I could put in a citation for the Silver Star for Edna, I would. I can award her the Medal of Freedom. I'm writing up the request for you to turn in with Pierce's recommendation."
The boy rocked on his heels, "Boy won't Colonel Winchester be surprised."
He glanced up at the boy for a moment. "She might be more surprised than that, son. Major Hardy have me an engagement ring to hold onto for him. He plans on popping the question to her."
His exclaimed, "Wow! Maybe they can get married here?"
The old Colonel paused. "Now why would they want to get married here, Radar?" He often found Radar had an insight that most lacked.
"Well, Colonel Winchester's brother is here and since her father is in the States then maybe Major Winchester would walk her down the aisle." he explained.
The old Colonel paused. He had to admit that Radar had a valid point. "Incase the couple does decide to get married here, check with Igor and make sure we have enough supplies for a wedding cake."
"Yes sir." Radar agreed happily.
SWAMP
Charles Winchester the Third made his way across the camp to the doctor's tent so he could get some much needed rest. Upon entering the tent he found a disturbing sight. Edna sat on the spare cot, with his typewriter before her and she typed up the camp inspection report. He gasped, "What are you doing, Edna?"
She glanced up. "I'm writing up the camp inspection report and a report on Colonel Burns to send to the General."
"Why are you not in the V.I.P. tent?" he asked soundly.
"I'm comfortable here." she replied.
"But the VIP tent is open and Colonel Potter said you could use it." he rebutted.
"I'm not comfortable there. It smells too much like…Frank Burns." she shivered.
He paused as he thought about the statement. He shivered himself for a moment. "Maybe some disinfectant." he suggested.
"It smells like him." she insisted. "It's that cheap ten cent cologne he wore. I swear he put it all over the place in there. It stinks. Worse than a skunk."
"Did you try airing the tent out?" he asked.
"Yes," she nodded. "It still stinks. I'll just stay here for a few days."
"But this is the doctors' tent." he rebutted.
She paused and looked about. "It looks like a frat house."
"Exactly!" he agreed. "Wouldn't you be more comfortable in another tent? Maybe…Stay with the nurses? I'm sure Margaret would let you stay with the nurses."
"Too loud." she shook her head. "I need a place to work."
"Margaret would let you stay with her." he assumed.
"Her tent is pretty full." she summarized.
He huffed, "Why are comfortable here in this tent?"
She mentioned, "I have my brother and two really good doctors. What could be safer?"
He rolled his head back, "You win. I give up." He sat down exhausted on his cot. He kicked off his boots and then laid down to rest.
Edna figured she needed a break from the report. She looked over at her brother and asked, "I'm going to the mess tent. You want me to bring you anything?"
"I'm fine." he waved it off. "Well, if you wouldn't mind brining me a cup of coffee and some buttered bread rolls, I would appreciate it."
"I'll get ya the coffee and rolls." she agreed as she rose to her feet. "Just relax. I know you how tiring it is to work here." she confided. She left the then to get the coffee and rolls.
Charles pondered to himself. His sister would get him anything he asked for as she loved her brother dearly. A slight smile crept across his face as he recalled how she waited on him like his private nurse when he had his wisdom teeth removed as a teenager. "Maybe having Eddy here for a few days would be okay after all."