I4.6
Chapter 21: Consequences
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Adult themes. DO NOT read if you are underage or dislike controversial things.
Author's Note: I'm going on vacation next week so I might not be able to update like regular.
Richard stares at the helmet in his hands as the motor of his bike falls silent. His mind is racing with everything that transpired in his meeting with Bruce Wayne. How dare that man threaten his leadership position! He is appalled by how easily his mentor is willing to sweep aside all of the good that he has done for his team, his city and the vigilante community because he doesn't approve of the girl that his son likes. How juvenile…
He finds himself chuckling slowly as he grips his helmet more firmly. He doubts that Bruce would do that to him. If he was going to replace him, then he would have done so after he strode into hell to retrieve Rachel. The lecture Richard received when he came back with a shaky empath in tow was one of the most memorial he has ever had to endure. He has to suppress a shiver as he recalls the way Batman tore into him for being reckless with his team and his person. His mind was numb from that tirade and his body ached for weeks after the grueling training sessions Bruce had put him through. Back to back to back. Little rest in between. There's a part of Richard that understands that this is how he shows his worry and care. His mentor has never really been the hugging type and neither is Alfred. Both men were happy and relieved that he was still alive, but they were extremely livid about his choices and who he choose to prioritize. That was the coldest Alfred had ever been to him and he felt somewhat betrayed by the butler.
Richard covers his mouth to hide his smile, even though he's the only one in the garage of the Titan Tower.
He idly wonders what they would think if they knew that their attempt to punish him with torturous training was what drove him closer to Rachel. Richard barely made it back to his teammates in one piece after that week of mind numbing training. He was covered in bruises with aches and pains in various places. Both Beastboy and Cyborg were concerned when they saw him, but Starfire's squeal was enough to wake the dead. He knew right then and there that he hadn't wanted her to tend to him even though she was fluttering around him like a distressed butterfly. He hadn't been in the right state of mind to cater to her energy and overzealous need to help him recover. He really just wanted to be left alone so that he can lick his wounds in peace, but in true Starfire fashion, she followed him around from the moment he entered the door to the moment he laid down. She had even tried to crawl into bed with him that night. Richard would like to think that she didn't have ulterior motives beside providing comfort, but the way she had been eyeing his chest made him feel bare and surprisingly uncomfortable. At this point, he hadn't recognized where his true feelings laid, and the sight of the woman he was lusting after returning his interest should have excited him. Instead, it filled him with a sense of dread.
It was then that there was a quiet knock on his door. Starfire looked highly annoyed when she yanked the door open to reveal Rachel's lovely face on the other side. She said something to the alien princess and Star huffed in annoyance before turning to him to let him know that she'll be back to check on him. Richard found himself breathing a sigh of relief when she left. He thought that he would finally be alone to unpack and process everything that he experienced.
"I suggest that you fall asleep before she comes back," comes the low gravel like voice of the team's empath.
Richard's head snaps to the side. He hadn't realized that she had stepped into his bedroom and quietly closed the door behind her. She didn't approach his bedside, choosing to lean against the door instead. A look of concern etched into her pretty face. There were dark circles under her eyes and a slight slump in her posture. Richard found this understandable since it had only been a week since he brought her back from hell. The bravado that she showed when she leveled up and defeated her father has long since faded and Richard wonders if her thoughts are as dark and self deprecating as his.
"You look like shit," he says with a huff. Her dynamic violet eyes scan his form from head to toe before darting back to his face. Her only response is a raised eyebrow. Richard feels his chapped lips split into a smile for the first time in a long time. It's good to see that some things don't really change.
He responds to her eyebrow with "I feel like shit."
"Clearly," she says from the door. "I'm guessing your week long training session with Batman was...intense."
"Ha!" Richard all but wheezed because his ribs still hurt. "It was…"
He couldn't find the words to describe it, he just knew that his mentor made it as unpleasant as he possibly could. Richard can hear the soft shuffling of her footsteps on his hardwood floor as she approaches his bed. Can feel her presence as she lingers over him. Rachel doesn't feel as oppressive as Starfire did. Maybe because their motives were not the same? He allows his eyes to flutter close as she hesitantly lifts her hand to place it on his forehead. Her hand is warm and soft. It brings him a sense of comfort that he hasn't felt since the passing of his mother. He nuzzles her open palm as she moves to cup his cheek.
"Why do you feel so...unsettled?" she quietly asks with his cheek resting comfortably in her hand.
"It's been a rough week and Batman…," he answers, "had a point to prove."
"Was…" she begins in a whisper, "was it because of me?"
Technically, it was because of her, but Richard didn't have to heart to place this blame at her feet. She shoulders enough guilt as it is. Instead, he says "It was because of the choices that I made."
Rachel turns her head away from him and stares into the darkness in the far corner of his room. Her hand falls away from his face, but he grabs a firm hold of it before she can fully pull away. He says in earnest, "I regret nothing. I would do it a thousand times over and so would the rest of the team."
She shakes her head a little and whispers to no one in particular, "It wasn't worth it."
Richard frowns at her train of thought and squeezes her hand a little. "You are worth it. We are superheros. We risk our lives everyday to protect and save complete strangers on the street. Why wouldn't we save one of our own?"
He ignores the protest of his aching body as he sits up and swings his legs over the side of his bed. He still has her hand in his as he waits for a response.
"I'm," she starts, "I'm not like the rest of you. It's not safe for me to be here. I bring death and destruction every where I go."
"So can I," he responds. Rachel's head snaps around to look at him as he continues, "so can Beastboy, Cyborg, Starfire and so many other superheroes out there. We're all capable of bringing pain and misery to those around us. We just choose not to."
A rueful smile pulls at her pretty lips when she says "You know it's not like that for me. I am my father's gateway to the destruction of this world. I am a demon. A spawn of the devil. The only reason I'm he…ah!"
Rachel lets out a startled cry when Richard aggressively pulls her down beside him on his bed. He is still holding her hand. A firm connection to the present. To this world. To him.
"You are not your father," he says sternly. "Repeat it."
She looks away because she can't quite bring herself to say the words. He gives her a few seconds before he shakes her hand to reclaim her attention. "Repeat. It."
He is staring deeply into her eyes when he says "You are not your father."
She blushes under his intense scrutiny. The pretty pink color staining her cheeks. Were they always so soft looking?
"I am not," she begins in a shaky voice. There is a deep inhale and exhale before finishing with "my father."
"Again."
"I am not...my father."
"Again."
"I am not my father."
"Again."
"I am not my father."
"Again."
She looks deeply into his bluish gray eyes and demands "Say it with me, Robin."
"What?" he looks at her with confusion. Why would he need to say that? His father is dead. This time, it's Rachel squeezing his hand for attention.
"Batman may not be your father, but he is a father figure to you," she says. "You look up to him. You admire him. You want his approval, but you have to remember that you are not him. It's okay to do things differently. Different doesn't mean wrong or bad."
Yes, of course, she is right. He had spent so much time over the last week beating himself up for his choices that he forgot that it all worked out in the end. His beloved teammate is here. Sitting on the edge of his bed. Demanding that he realize that he is not Batman. That Batman's decisions are not his decisions. He is his own person and even though he wants to make the caped crusader proud, he should not sacrifice himself in the process. He had weighted the pros and cons of rescuing Rachel from hell and decided that she is worth saving even if Bruce did not.
He can feel a genuine smile pull at his lips and couldn't stop himself from resting his forehead on her shoulder. He was feeling more emotions than he was used to and didn't know what to do with them. He was also partly embarrassed by the amount of relief that he felt at someone else confirming the thoughts that he was already thinking. He wasn't a bad son for not meeting his father figure's expectations. Richard chuckles against her shoulder. Inhaling deeply. Memorizing her scent of old books and tea. The feel of her small, soft hand in his much larger, calloused one.
He mumbles against her shoulder, "...right choice."
"Hmm? I can't hear you," she says as she shakes her shoulder to remove the weight of his head. He straightens up and gazes down at her with an expression of affection in his eyes. Even though they're both sitting on the edge of his bed, he's still taller than her.
"I said that rescuing you from hell was the right choice," he reiterates in a much clearer voice. "I'm glad you're here with me."
He smiles his hundred watt smile. It could brighten a room and make women swoon. Rachel's eyes are drawn to the dimples that christen each side of his cheeks. She can feel the warmth in her own face at how handsome her leader is, but she must get back to business.
"Don't distract me," she hisses at him, "Repeat it."
"Hmm?" Richard is all too happy to watch her squirm under his attention while he plays dumb.
Her deep feminine voice permeates the air between them, "You are not your father. Repeat it."
Was her voice always this seductively assertive? Did she always smell this good? Is the rest of her body as soft as her hand?
After a few seconds, Rachel shakes his hand to get his attention. "Repeat. It."
Richard clears his throat and clearly says "I am not my father."
He takes in her pleased expression and gently commands her "Say it with me, Raven."
Her hand tightens around his as she squares her shoulders and sits up a little straighter. He mirrors her actions. They both have their eyes on each other's lips so that they can time this perfectly.
"I am not my father!" they say in unity and with conviction. No, they are not their fathers. They are their own people. Free to make different choices than what is expected of them. Free to determine their own path. Their own future.
Richard smiles sweetly at her when he says "I guess we both have daddy issues that we need to work on. Huh, Raven?"
She graces him with a genuinely rare smile when she quietly says, "Rachel."
"Hmm?" he asks with his head tilted in confusion.
"Rachel. My mother named me Rachel," she is looking anywhere but at him in embarrassment. He gently catches her chin between his thumb and forefinger. Raising her head so that she can meet his smiling eyes.
"Richard," he says, "My mother named me Richard, but you can call me Dick."
That was the night that they started calling each other by their first names. Richard clearly remembers the intimacy of that moment and the strong feelings of connection that was shared between the two. He's never been the type to hold hands with a girl, even one he was interested in. That gesture was deemed too meaningful to just do with anyone. Sex is easy. There are plenty of women willing to throw themselves at Richard Grayson. He'd be lying if he said that he's never indulged in the ripe fruits of high society more than once or twice. However, Rachel is different. That communal moment of shared woes, the darkened bedroom, the light whispers, the solid feel of flesh against flesh and the sharing of first names further cemented the bond they have. That type of intimacy came natural to them. To think that they probably would not have shared that moment if it weren't for Bruce's aggressive reaction to him deciding to rescue her from hell.
He knows that Rachel is ever grateful for all that he has done for her. For guiding her out of the darkest corners of her mind. She knows that he is willing to listen to her without judgment. That she can share her deepest, darkest fears and insecurities with him and he would never turn away from her. Why? Simply because she turns her darkness in on herself instead of projecting it on the people around her. The truth is that Richard is more frighten by his own darkness than anything she has shown him thus far. His internal demons are selfish. They want what they want when they want it. They want Rachel. Each action that Richard takes to bring them closer together, just feeds the beasts. They are no longer satisfied with the meager morsels of her attention and affection. They want everything: her time, attention, love, support, body and soul.
The smile on Richard's face morphs into something more malicious the more he thinks about his desires. He keeps calling it "they" but he knows in his heart of hearts that it should be "us." These feelings and dark urges are part of him and no matter how much he tries to distance himself from this fact, it doesn't change the truth. If he didn't have to worry about the consequences of his actions then he would have tied Rachel up in his bed by now. How easy would it be to just drug her with I4.6 and have his way with her? There wouldn't be much that she could do to stop him. He could mold her like putty in his hands. The monks taught her how to navigate her mind, but he can teach her how to pleasure her body. Show her just how connected those two things are and how good it'll feel to just give him what he wants.
So, what's really stopping him? Consequences. I4.6 is experimental and there's no telling what kind of affects it would have on a woman's body. Are there lasting damages that he needs to account for? If he were to drug her today, then she would also lose the ability to heal herself. Would her body be able to filter through all these chemicals without deteriorating? Even if she is healthy enough to withstand extended use of I4.6, he'd have to maneuver the rest of the Titans. They would notice if Rachel was bound and gagged under his bed not to mention the public noticing that she's no longer on active duty. Bruce is watching them both more closely than he has ever done before.
No, simply drugging her and spiriting her away in the dead of night wouldn't work either. While the team's bonds are strained, they're not broken. They would go looking for her and it would only be a matter of time before they found her. Force isn't ideal in this situation so he'll have to work smarter and the only way to do that is by collecting as much information as possible. That's the main reason why he chose Starfire as his next test subject. She is an over powered, healthy female and Richard is curious about how her particular inoculation method would influence the effectiveness of the drug.
Richard is deeply lost in his own thoughts and his plans for the future as he makes his way out of the Tower's spacious garage. He will make Rachel his; one way or another. He would prefer for her to return his feelings, but if she doesn't then he's willing to settle with just having her by his side for the rest of their lives. There was no other option for either of them because there's not turning back. It's not like he doesn't realize that his actions are over the top and that what he's doing would be considered illegal. He just can't seem to bring himself to care when he thinks about the years of emotionally raw and intimate moments that they've shared together. That warm feeling of comfort...of family is something he's willing to kill for.
"What do you mean?" Rachel's unique voice finds his ear and he smiles to himself before frowning. He can tell by her tone that she's on her guard. Her volume is loud enough to travel outside of the metal doors of the medic bay. He pauses a bit to listen and gauge the situation that he is about to step into.
"It's suspicious, Raven," Starfire responds. She sounds as though she is having difficulties pronouncing words and Richard frowns. Would Rachel sound like this if she took the drug?
Rachel's indignant voice reaches his ears, "Are you accusing me of poisoning you?"
"I'm not," is Starfire's slurred reply, "accusing you of anything. I just said that it's suspicious that only Beastboy and I have been be targeted."
"That doesn't mean I did it," Rachel responds. "Our friendship has seen better days, but I would never poison my teammates. You all know that."
"I know, Raven," interjects Cyborg's voice. "I don't think you're the culprit, but who ever is doing this has a rationale of their own. Why not take us all out at the same time? We'd be powerless, then."
Exactly, Richard thinks to himself. If he had drugged them all at the same time, the team would be left powerless to stop any incoming attacks or issues. He would be an incredibly irresponsible leader if he were to do that.
"Unless they're trying to stir up drama within the team," Beastboy pipes up. How surprisingly observational of you, thinks Richard.
"It's definitely working," Rachel supplies with a huff.
"Don't worry, Raven. I don't really think you poisoned me. It had to have been someone else," Beastboy supplies.
"Well," Cyborg says, "let's think about what we do know."
Richard perks up a little at hearing this. Intel is king.
"We know that Robin was the first one to come into contact with this poison," the metal man says. "When I tested his blood sample, I found trace amounts of the same chemicals in Beastboy's blood."
"Right," Rachel adds, "that explains why he didn't come back to the Tower on Sunday like he planned. He was too sick to move. He definitely didn't look well."
Richard can imagine everyone nodding along because he really did look terrible. Cyborg's voice cuts through the air.
"So, it stands to reason, that whoever managed to poison Robin, also poisoned Beastboy using his protein drink. But what I don't understand is how Starfire got sick."
Stare's slurry voice can be heard saying, "It was all ordinary."
Richard was sure that Starfire carried through with her ordinary routine even after the evening news dropped those scandalous pictures of him and his Rachel. In fact, he was counting on it. Before he met up with the team in their living room, he was in Starfire's private bathroom switching out her face masks with ones that were soaked in I4.6. He was careful to keep the contaminated sheets in the same name brand container as the one she normal uses. The whole point of this method was to determine how effective the drug is when used topically. Can it be completely absorbed into the skin? Does it leave a residue or irritation to the epidermis? He knew that it was powerful enough to make Beastboy lose consciousness and control over his shifting abilities when ingested with food or drink. He hadn't expected her to use the masks right away since she's usually sporadic with her beauty routines. She generally does them when feeling stressed or feels as though she needs a "pick me up." He assumed that she would be too worked up by those pictures to even think about her skincare, but he guesses she used it to comfort herself last night.
It was clear to him that Starfire is looking at Rachel with suspicion in her eyes. Too many things weren't adding up and when in doubt, blame the demon witch.
"Whoever this person is, they have access to our private quarters at the Tower. That thought does not sit right with me," Cyborg muses out loud. After all, everyone has the right to feel safe in their own homes.
"One of us," Starfire slurs out again. She sounds as though she's getting tired and wants to take a nap.
"The only one who has a motive and access to questionable substances is you, Raven," Beastboy mumbles. Richard can tell that he doesn't want to outright accuse his crush, even if she did break his heart.
"Mo...motive?" Rachel stumbles out and continues on in exasperation, "what motive would I have for poisoning my teammates? You know, the ones I've worked with for years?"
"Well, you know with everything that's happened between us," the changeling mumbles in response, "and with what Starfire said to you yesterday…"
He trails off because he doesn't have the heart to continue that train of logic. While Richard doesn't know the full story about the kiss the empath and changeling shared in the kitchen on that Sunday morning, he does know that it hasn't happened again. That there seems to be tension between them now. If he had to guess, he would say that Rachel is stepping back from whatever might be growing betwixt them because of fear. To date, the only man who she has ever developed a long lasting and stable relationship with is him. He is as good for her, as she is for him. They need each other to stay sane in this turbulent world. She is Richard's only hope for happiness and he will not let that slip through his fingers. The rift between the two teammates needs to be widened so that Rachel can only look to Richard, again.
"That doesn't make me the culprit!" she exclaims. Richard can hear the stress in her voice and while he feels guilty for putting her through this, he knows that it is a necessary evil to accomplish his goals.
"I know you're not the culprit, Rachel."
Four heads swivel at the sound of a new voice. Richard's tone was confident and reassuring to Rachel's ears. The look of relief that washes over her face makes his delayed entrance worth it. He smiles encouragingly in her direction and the two of them lock eyes with one another. Rachel's backup support has arrived and she's not alone in defending her innocence against people who are too afraid to accuse her outright. The look they give each other doesn't go unnoticed by the other members of the team. Cyborg feels uncomfortable by the changing dynamics, Beastboy is annoyed by the reaction Richard receives from Rachel and Starfire is looking on like a woman scorned. The attention shouldn't be on demoness, but on her. She is the patient, after all.
While his teammates are processing their own thoughts and trying to figure out if he can be truly neutral, Richard is taking stock of the medic bay. Where people are positioned can tell a person a lot about the climate of a room. That was one of the first lessons that Alfred drilled into his head before attending his first banquet. Pay attention to who is standing next to who. Sure enough, the layout is as he expected it. Starfire is laying in the medic bay's narrow hospital bed. She is in a customary hospital gown and somehow still looking beautiful. She is sitting in an upright position with her flowing red mane cascading around her face and down her shoulders. Standing beside her is Beastboy. While they are not touching, he is standing particularly close to the head of her bed. He is in his standard red and black crime fighting suit. This makes sense because they both have experience with I4.6 and sharing the same train of thought about who might be behind all of this. Cyborg is standing by Star's knees, idly scratching his shiny bald head. Richard is sure that he can sympathize with why his two teammates might blame Rachel, but there isn't any hard evidence to prove it. Finally, his beloved Rachel is standing at the foot of Star's bed but not touching it. Her arms are folded around herself and she is standing in a protective stance. He is mildly surprised that she is wearing dark jeans and a navy t shirt instead of her cape of protection.
Richard watches as Starfire and Beastboy's eyes narrow when he comes to stand beside Rachel. Close enough that her shoulder light brushes against his arm before she takes a half a step away. She, understandably, doesn't want to give the wrong impression in an already hostile environment, but she also can't deny the comfort having Richard around brings her. He can practically see the thoughts racing through his teammates' heads and he would be willing to pay to see those thoughts.
"How are you feeling, Starfire?" he asks with kind curiosity in his voice. Everyone knows that she is not in danger of losing her life, but her powers are no longer working. For how long, no one knows.
"My face is numb," she slurs. Thankfully, there is no drool and the muscles in her face seem to be working because there is variation in her expressions. She just can't feel her face.
"Does anything hurt?" he asks as he takes the clipboard that Cyborg offers. The results of the various tests he ran are intriguing. She doesn't seem to be having as volatile a reaction as the green beast did. This is good. This is very promising.
Richard's eyes dart to Rachel before he asks, "Can you use your powers at all?"
Starfire shakes her head no to both. She cannot use her powers and neither is she in pain.
"Nah," Beastboy offers, "she hasn't been able to use her powers since she woke up this morning. She can't even create a small spark."
To prove what he said, Starfire slowly raises her hand and places her middle finger against her thumb and snaps. This action would usually create a small flame, which she has used to build fires before. Now, there is nothing. Not even a spark. Richard wonders how long this will last. One day, two days...maybe even a week? He did soak those face masks in a full vial of I4.6 for at least 3 days before he switched the products in her bathroom.
Before looking down at the clipboard in his hand and says "You're having similar symptoms to Beastboy, but you don't seem to be in as much pain or as disoriented as he was."
"She was this morning," Beastboy said. "When she woke up."
"Yea," Cyborg continues, "she woke up feeling dizzy, but when she tried to make her way to the bathroom to wash her face, she fell down."
"I heard when her body hit the floor," Beastboy continues, "I knocked on her door, but when I didn't get a response I broke the lock. She was laying face down, half way between her bed and the bathroom."
Richard is nodding his head gravely as he quietly says "I see," before turning his attention to the clipboard in his hands. The firs thing he checks are her liver and kidney functions. Those are the organs that filter the waste and toxins out of the body. They appear to be working normally, but would they continue to do so if she keeps using I4.6? Her other vitals seem to be working normally, but it is apparent that she is moving sluggishly and that there is a disconnect between her thoughts and her powers. The inhibitor is doing it's job.
Before Richard can finish reading through her medical report Cyborg interrupts his thoughts, "Those are the basic tests. She doesn't seem to be in danger of dying, but I do want to conduct an MRI and see what's happening neurologically. Whatever this poison is, it seems to be affecting the way the brain and nerves function."
"I agree," he says as he hands the clipboard back to the metal man. He slowly approaches Starfire's bedside and gingerly perches himself on the edge of the hospital bed. He takes her left hand into his and looks deeply into her eyes.
"I promise you, Star. I will figure out who has done this to you and make sure that justice is served," he says with conviction. Sometimes, he ability to lie so easily scares him, but he knows that this is what she needs to hear. His show of caring will continue to give the alien princess hope, which will drive an even larger divide between the two women on the team. Starfire will want to defend and protect what she thinks can be hers and in the process isolate Rachel from the only female friend she has. Beastboy will be dealt with shortly, when Richard receives logistical confirmation from the leader of the Titans East. The last person he'll have to separate Rachel from is Cyborg. The level headed, older brother figure that could potentially foil his plans if he catches on to them. There was something that Rachel had mentioned in their last conversation revolving around lust that didn't sit right with him. She claims to have felt that emotion spike within the metal man while in her presence, but she didn't think it was directed at her. She also doesn't think his lustful feelings are caused by her either.
That thought makes Richard frown deeply and Starfire's slurring voice brings him back to the present.
"Thank you, Robin," she says, "You don't have to worry bout me. I'll get better soon."
She struggles to lift her right hand and touch his brow. She is misinterpreting his frown as concern for her and anger at what has happened to his team.
"As for who could have done this...it's not Rachel," Richard says to the team. Cyborg is nodding, Beastboy is looking at his shoes and Starfire is frowning.
"I'm not so sure about that, Robin," the changeling says, his eyes darting to Rachel. "It has to be someone with easy access to the Tower if they can poison my drink and somehow poison Starfire. Who else can just stroll in and out of here like that?"
"That's dangerous logic, Beastboy," Richard responds, "If we followed that logic then we're all suspects. It's as likely to be me as it is to be Rachel or Cyborg or you or even Starfire. We can't let this divide us."
Richard squeezes Starfire's hand once before letting go and moving back to stand beside Rachel. He places his hand on her shoulder and lets it rest there. His eyes scan the whole room to gauge how his teammates react to where he is standing and who he is touching. Let them interpret this action how they want.
"We can't pass judgment on anyone unless we have evidence," Richard says while gazing deeply into Rachel's violet eyes. The look of relief and gratitude staring back at him only fortifies his resolve to keep her close and make her his.
Sorry for the late upload. I picked up a last minute shift at work before I can finally take a break.
As I'm writing this, I'm realizing how incredibly two faced Richard is. Yikes!