I4.6
Chapter 23: Experiment
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Adult themes. DO NOT read if you are underage or dislike controversial things.
Author's Note: There have been massive changes at work which has thrown my schedule off. That and my anxiety has me by the balls and won't let me go. :-(
He can feel the intense stare of his colleague on his face. Being under such intense scrutiny disrupts the thoughts racing through his head. There's just too much to think about, too much to plan for. For the first time in a long time, Richard is feeling overwhelmed by the choices he has made. For the first time in a long time, he's questioning whether or not he's doing the right thing. He turns his head to the right and forces his eye to crack open.
"Does it really look that bad?" he mumbles as he makes eye contact with Starfire's concerned face.
"Robin...your eye is really swollen," she says as she stares intensely at his left eye. He can feel the tightness and throbbing from the injured area. His chest is covered in bandages where claws dug in too deep.
"Dick?" Richard can feel his ear twitch at hearing Rachel's sweet voice, "Can you tell us what happened?"
The painkillers have him feeling sluggish and not thinking straight, so he decides that it's best to keep his mouth shut. Instead he groans in pain before allowing his eyes to flutter close and doze off. He feels a slender hand touch his cheek and instantly knows who it belongs to. When he cracks open his eyes, he is met with vivid violet and down turned lips. She's been frowning way too much for his liking. The stress of the events that he has set into motion are taking their toll on her. He feels something like guilt for a brief moment before letting it go. There's always sunshine after rain. They just need to get through this so that they can enjoy the better days ahead. It'll be just to two of them. Like it is meant to be.
"Dick," Rachel says again, "before you doze off. I need you to tell us what happened just now."
What happened? His own mind is still trying to comprehend what just transpired between him and the changeling.
"Did you find what you were snooping for?"
Beastboy stares into his eyes, unashamed and even with a hint of anger. That's strange. You would think that he would be less hostile in this situation.
"Something is not right," he says while fully stepping out of Richard's walk-in closet. The leader of the Titans cocks his head to the side as he watches his subordinate move closer to him.
"Oh?" Richard asks, "There is an unwelcome pest in my closet."
He watches Beastboy frown at the insult. Everything about the changeling's posture screams aggression. From the hunching of his muscular shoulders, to the straightness of his spine and the placement of his feet on the floor. It's clear that he's looking for a fight.
"I may be a pest," he retorts, "but at least I'm not a pervert like you."
It was clear that he picked up on Richard's little daydream about the things that he would like to do to Rachel's body against that window. Was it his scent? His gaze? Maybe the way Richard's heart beat picked up pace a bit at the potential in that moment. Either way, he wasn't completely wrong. Richard knows that he's a pervert, but will fake ignorance anyway.
"I don't know what you mean, Beastboy," is the reply, "I'm not the one sniffing around in another man's closet."
"Cut the shit," the changeling hisses, "I saw the way you look at her when you think no one is watching. What exactly are your intentions, Robin?"
Richard is still standing before the changeling with his arms crossed against his bare chest. Beastboy really does know how to kill the mood. They continue to eye each other before he replies "My intentions are to make sure that I keep my team together. To make sure that everyone is as stable as they can be with everything that has happened recently."
There's a snort from the other man in the room. Beastboy's eyes narrow before he says, "Stable? Nothing is close to stable right now! And it's all because of you!"
Richard tenses when he hears that statement. It is said with such conviction that it almost sounds as though Beastboy knows something that he shouldn't. The leader of the Titans finds himself cocking his head to the side in curiosity as he watches the green man tug at his green hair in frustration.
"Me?" he asks, "How am I responsible for this?"
"I...I don't know, but I just know that you are," the changeling says through gritted teeth. Richard breaths a silent sigh of relief. The younger man is only working off of a hunch and while those are important in their profession, it's nothing to go on without evidence to support it. Beastboy's voice cuts through Richard's thoughts.
"I know that you're somehow involved," he continues, "I just don't know how. Rachel is taking the blame for poisoning me and Star, but I know she's not the type to do that. Not to her friends."
"I agree," Richard says, "but that doesn't mean that the culprit is me. What do I stand to gain from poisoning my very own teammates?"
"Ha! Teammates. Teammates?" repeats the green man, "is that really how you see us? Are you sure about that?"
"How else would I see you guys?" Richard inquires. He's interested to hear how the youngest member of their group views their dynamics.
"You don't honestly see me as a teammate," says the changeling with a tinge of hurt in his voice. Did Richard just hear a small crack? "You just see me as something useful. I know you do. I'm...how did you put it? Versatile? Like an all purpose tool? I bet you thought that I didn't hear that. Whispering it under your breath because you knew better than to say that out loud and to my face."
Beastboy spits out the last sentence with vehement in his voice. He's not wrong. There have been multiple times where Richard has looked at the changeling with eyes of envy. Wishing that he had the ability to do what the green man does with such ease. How much more powerful...more effective would he be as crime fighter if he could do the things Beastboy does? How much more information would he be able to collect if he had such sensitive senses, like hearing, as Beastboy does? No, he can't have those without doing harm to himself and his health. So, the next best thing is to groom the one who does.
Richard doesn't see the shape shifter as a complete tool that can be used and discarded at will. If he did, then he would never have considered him as a rival for Rachel's affections. He knows that there is more to the younger man than just his ability. For some, his lighthearted demeanor and carefree ways can be considered attractive qualities in a person. In some ways, he is the direct opposite of Rachel, of him, and Richard hated it. That old adage about how opposites attract one another almost always gnaws at the back of his mind when he thinks of the two of them together. The thought that maybe, just maybe, the changeling could have a positive influence on his Rachel makes him sick to his stomach. That a romantic relationship between the two may help her come out of her shell and she'd be able to enjoy life a bit more. Richard has to swallow his feelings of inadequacy and cover it in a layer of disgust.
"I don't see any member of the Titans as tools," Richard sternly says. "I do recognize that each individual brings their own unique strengths and challenges to the team. You and myself, included."
"Bullshit," the green man hisses with his hands balled up into fists by his side, "You're too selfish for that."
"Selfish?…" starts Richard as he fakes confusion before he is cut off.
"Yes, Dick," he mimics Rachel's voice the best way he can before continuing with an accusing tone. "Selfish. Do you even know what you want or do you just want to have everything for yourself?"
Richard watches as Beastboy begins to circle him and he shifts his body so that he can keep the aggressive man in his line of sight. This could potentially erupt into a very nasty physical fight that he is not looking forward to having.
"I'm not sure what you mean, Beastboy," he says in an even tone so as not to anger the beast in front of him even more. "I don't know what you mean by everything."
The changeling snorts like a raging bull before him. He watches as the green man swings his head from one side to the other while aggressively sniffing the air. Richard can see that the younger man is trying to calm himself and speak rationally, but his anger, his emotions, his feelings of insecurity are getting in the way.
"Everything," is stated through clenched teeth that are slowly morphing into fangs. Richard idly wonders if I4.6 influences a person's ability to control themselves and their emotions. But, the drug isn't what's fueling Beastboy now. It has long since worked its way out of his system, but has it left permanent damage? Richard swallows his guilt at that thought. If there is permanent damage then that means Starfire will also have issues, even after she recovers.
"Everything," Beastboy says again, "You have the money, the connections, the position as leader, the fancy gadgets and gizmos. You have so many adoring fans that fall all over themselves just to get a glimpse of you. You have a beautiful princess crying herself to sleep because she doesn't understand why you don't love her anymore..."
Beastboy pauses and angrily throws his head from one side to the next before continuing with "Everything...you couldn't have left Raven alone?! You couldn't have left her to me? Do you even know why you're pursuing her?"
Richard finds himself lifting his hands in a placating manner. Technically, he should be the furious one for having his privacy invaded while he wasn't here. For thinking that he and Rachel were sharing an intimate moment while a rodent hid in his closet. However, here he is trying to calm the interloper down so that he doesn't tear Richard's very meticulously organized room apart.
"I'm not pursing Rachel, Beastboy," he softly says, "we're just good friends. W…"
"LIES!" roars the changeling. "You. Lie. I saw those pictures. Took a good, hard look at them. Star couldn't stomach the sight of them, but I did because I needed to know the truth. Were these real or faked? Raven was not comfortable and you...you, Richard, looked like a predator. I know one when I see one."
Richard had to give him credit for being so observant. Rachel didn't react the way that he hoped she would have, but then again, he doesn't know why he's surprised. In his head, he thought that she would blush so prettily and pretend to say no while still trying to pull him close. He thought that she would react in the same way that so many other women had. Batting their eyelashes at him and acting coy. Like they've never done something like this before but they're willing to make the exception this once because it was him. That's what he thought would happen because he forgot that Rachel is...well, Rachel. When she's placed in an uncomfortable position, she will react violently because she can. Thanks to her powers, she rarely sustains much damage in a fight and if a mere mortal man, made of soft flesh and fragile bones, invades her personal space she can just blast him away like swatting at a fly. The only thing that saved him from being seriously injured was their friendship. It was something she didn't want to damage because it is precious to her.
The leader of the Titans knows that he's walking on thin ice, but he can't stop himself from saying, "You're one to talk. You've been hounding after her all day and all night. I heard what happened from Starfire."
Beastboy stops moving at those words and cocks his head to the side in a questioning manner. "What did she tell you?"
Richard watches as the changeling's eyes narrow into slits. He's not sure why this is striking such a cord in the younger man, but it's an interesting new development. "She told me about what happened at the party. That you kissed Rachel."
"...was there anything else that she said?" he mumbles. Did Richard detect embarrassment in his voice?
"Plenty. Star told me everything that she knew," the young leader lies through his teeth. He knows that there is more to this story, but either Starfire wasn't willing to share everything or she didn't know everything.
Beastboy suddenly barks a harsh laugh, "what did it cost ya? Huh, Robin? Did you let her touch your chest? Run her fingers through your hair? Hmm?"
Richard frowns at the insinuation as the changeling continues his rant, "Or did you just smile at her with your charming dimples? She's so easily swayed by you that it's gross."
"Aren't you also swayed by Starfire? Isn't that why you took her side in the medic bay and blamed Rachel for poisoning everyone?" questions Richard. The green man isn't as innocent as he would like to think. He's caught the younger man casting appreciative glances at the alien princess. It would be hard for anyone not to. He watches as his colleague moves to stand by the window that Rachel was staring out of. He lifts his hand to rest it against the window frame.
"I know she didn't poison us," he whispers softly to no one in particular. Like a quiet apology.
"And you think I did?" Richard asks while standing behind him, trying to recover from Beastboy's whiplash of wild emotions and varying levels of aggression.
The changeling says with more conviction in his voice, "I know she didn't poison us…"
With his body still facing the window, he turns his head to look Richard in the face, "...but you...I'm not so sure."
Richard can feel his jaw tightening from a wide range of emotions. Anger, jealousy, fear, insecurity, uneasiness. Like most humans he defaults to anger when he's not sure what to feel. "Was that why you were in here?!"
Richard's yell causes Beastboy's ears to twitch and he turns around to face his leader fully.
"You think it was me?" Richard asks in faked astonishment and outrage because he knows that it is him. "You dare to blame me for what's happening? Accuse me for being the cause of it? And then, have the balls to break into my personal bedroom to try and find what? What? Evidence?"
Beastboy has enough sense to look a bit ashamed and glances away from his leader, which only encourages Richard to continue, "What were you hoping to find, Beastboy? An evil mastermind diary? Dear Diary, today I poisoned my teammates and it felt good," he says in a high pitched voice.
"And all of this because what?" Richard asks, "All of this is because the girl you like doesn't like you back?"
Beastboy snaps his head back and bares his fangs. Richard has touched a nerve, but he doesn't care.
"Leave Raven out of this?" the changeling growls through clenched teeth.
"How?" Richard asks, "This whole thing is centered around my Rachel. You're just jealous because you can never have what I do with her."
"Enough, Robin," Beastboy warns as his fingertips extend into claws.
"You should be saying that to yourself," he responds. Beastboy, of all people, is on to him. He has a hunch but he doesn't understand the how or the why. He's more intuitive than Richard gave him credit for, but he's also not the brightest bulb. Otherwise, he would have known that Richard wouldn't stash anything incriminating in his very own bedroom. That's a true blue rookie move. The most incriminating thing that Richard has is his log on how the drug effected both Beastboy and Starfire, but even if someone was able to break through all the security on his computer and somehow decipher Wayne Enterprise's encryption codes, all they would see are his notes. He can easily write that off as him being the meticulous and data drive leader that he is. Besides, he knows that Cyborg also has his own notes about how the drug is effecting their teammates. By invading Richard's personal space and getting caught, he accomplished nothing beyond letting him know that Beastboy is on to him and is actively looking for evidence that will prove his hunch true.
Richard knows that Beastboy knows that he fucked up. The only way he can think of making this moment work for him is by having this encounter end violently. There would be no way for the green man to spin this in a positive light. He was the one who broke in. He was the one who was snooping around. He was the one that got caught. If he is also the one to attack Richard then he would clearly be in the wrong and not even Cyborg would be able to take his side on this.
All of these thoughts are coming together as he watches the changeling breathing heavily as he tosses his head from side to side again. Beastboy, in this moment, paints a terrifying picture with his hunched shoulders, erratic movements, claw like hands and...where those hooves on his feet? How did Richard not notice that before? He suddenly feels very naked standing before this raging beast with no shirt on. To try and dress now would be folly, but a minor injury or two might work his advantage at gaining some sympathy points from his other teammates. With all of this in mind, Richard presses forward with his taunts.
"Enough, Beastboy," he says in the best cocksure voice he can muster given the circumstances. "Let my Rachel go. I understand that you're hurt and confused because you kissed her and she rejected you. That's life. There are plenty more fish in the sea, ya know. Rachel's my fish, but I know that yours is out there swimming somewhere…"
There was more that Richard wanted to say, but he was cut off by a mumble from the changeling who is now growing horns.
"What did you say?" he asks.
"She…," Beastboy struggles to get out because his vocal cords are starting to shift along with the rest of him, "She kissed me!"
That sentence was Beastboy's battle cry as he lounges forward with frightening speed. Richard's tense muscles are the only reasons he was able to move out of the way as quickly as he did. He finds himself on the floor and rolling under the protection of his bed. He's there for two reasons: 1. to get out the way and have a few seconds to think and 2. retrieve his electric rod that he keeps stashed under there for moments like this. It never hurts to plan ahead and it's as he is thinking about his next course of actions that he feels the weight of his bed frame being lifted clean off the floor. Beastboy's fit of rage and raw power is being fueled by his hurt emotions. It crossed Richard's mind to feel guilty about the things he's about to say, but he needs to say them soon before his teammates arrive to break up this fight.
He quickly rolls out from under his bed before Beastboy can bring down his fists on his head. There is a clear dent in the floor from the power that the changeling is using. It appears as though the enraged beastman is trying to kill his leader, but Richard has already sprung to his feet with the electric rod in hand. He doesn't activate the electricity, yet. He's still assessing the situation and slowly shakes his head at the sight before him. He knows the action will just further piss off the already angry brute. He follows that action by very quietly saying, "She may have kissed you, but it was just an experiment. You're just an experiment, Beastboy."
Richard knows that those words are unforgivable because he knows the origin story of Garfield Logan. He knows how he was used, studied and tested. He knows that calling the young man an experiment will touch such a sensitive nerve that he will lose complete control of himself. And just as Richard thought, right before his eyes, there was a flicker for raw hurt on the changeling's misshapen face before his eyes bled red.
Thankful, Richard was already standing in a defensive stance when the enraged changeling rushed him. He was able to parry away the swipes of those deathly claws while maneuvering a tight space. All of those years of hard training with Batman definitely pays off in moments like this. He's jabbing and prodding Beastboy with his rod because he's not outright attacking him to hurt him. He's already done that with his words and Richard knows that that will leave a lasting scar on the young man's psyche. He's satisfied with that. The two men continue with this dangerous dance for what feels like ages with neither one getting the best of the other. They've sparred with one another too many times before and can anticipate the other's moves.
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" a clearly feminine voice screams at the top of her lungs. That's the highest pitch he's ever heard Rachel's voice go and Richard makes the dangerous mistake of turning his head towards her. That was all the opening that Beastboy needed to rake his claw across Richard's bare chest. From left shoulder to right rib cage. He was able to parry the changeling's next strike, but was too slow to stop the fist coming towards him.
That angry, green fist was the last thing Richard remembers before waking up in the medic bay. He's sure that Rachel used her powers to pry Beastboy's massive body off his own.
"Robin?" comes a sickly sweet voice. "Can you tell us what happened?"
He swallows dryly and licks his chapped lips before responding with, "Water?"
He's trying to buy some time to think of the best way to tell this story. He obviously can't let these ladies know that he was the one who was provoking the changeling, so he should focus on the fact that he found him snooping around in his bedroom. Yes, that's how he'll spin this. He comes to the final decision as Starfire helps him sit up so that he can drink the water Rachel has brought him. He takes the cup from her hands and looks at his disjointed reflection in the water's surface. He could barely recognize himself. Both physically and mentally. When did he become like this? Willing to hurt anyone and everyone? And all for what? For who? Was he as bad as Beastboy and Starfire for chasing a dream? An unattainable fantasy?
How much easier would his life be if he could just give in to the alien princess' desires? A relationship between the two of them would be so much easier because it is expected. All the paths have been cleared. Bruce has no issues with her like he does with Rachel. The public have long since thought their relationship is real. She's a willing participant. She's beautiful and caring. They could paint the perfect picture of the perfect hero couple. All will be right with the world because being with Starfire wouldn't turn him into a monster. Being with Starfire will allow his team to stay intact.
As he thinks these thoughts, a small pale hand gently touches his own and guides the paper cup closer to his mouth. The callous on her middle finger from writing fascinates him as he takes a sip and appreciates the cool refreshing feeling in his mouth and throat. Richard's eyes makes the trek from Rachel's gentle hands, up her bare arms before making their way to her soft, pale face. She is looking at him with a mixture of confusion and care that is endearing because it's more than she usually shows. Yes, this is his Rachel. Not the stoic exterior that she shows to the rest of the world, but the soft young woman who hides a caring soul behind thick walls of distance, books and isolation. If he hadn't truly gotten to know her, then he would have fallen for the alien princess hook, line and sinker. However, that's not the world he lives in. In this world, he knows his Rachel. He's seen what's beneath the underneath and loves every inch of it. The thought of her sharing that side of herself with anyone else is infuriating to him. They don't deserve to know her like he knows her. His Rachel is already so close to him that it's only a matter of time before her body follows. Then, he'll be able to possess her completely. Mind, body and soul.
Yes, Richard thinks to himself, that's the only way that I'll find true peace. The thought of being able to rest his aching head against her soft breasts and allowing his mind and body to rest are equal parts exciting and terrifying. He's never had that before, but if the thought alone is this addictive then he can barely fathom what the reality of it will be like. Is this worth becoming a monster for?
"Dick?" Rachel gently calls to him in a voice that is distinctly hers. His eyes lazily lifts to meet her dazzling violet ones. Yes, he's willing to become a monster if it means he can have her to himself.
"I don't know what really happened, Rachel. It all happened so fast," he lies through his teeth.
"What happened after I left your room?" she quietly questions. Her eyes darting to the side to see Starfire's expression sour a bit at the news that they were both in his bedroom. Alone.
"When you left," Richard licks his dry lips again, "when you left, I noticed that something wasn't quite right with my closet. I never leave the door open, but when I got closer I noticed a little green mouse hiding in my things. You know that mice aren't green."
"So, Beastboy was hiding in your closet?" Rachel asks. Richard nods his head and she continues with "How did I not pick up on that? I should have noticed that he was in the room with us. He must have been feeling nervous when both of us arrived."
Her eyebrows are furrowed again as she thinks deeply about how she could have missed that. As tired as Richard is, he musters the energy to gently press his thumb to her forehead and mumbles "wrinkles." She makes a face and swats his hand away as she continues to think. Starfire is frowning at how natural their interaction with one another is. There is a level of casual camaraderie there that she was never able to achieve with Richard. She felt the stings of jealous but tries to push it away because her beloved leader is lying hurt in a hospital bed.
Rachel's voice eventually muses out loud, "I wonder if it has to do with his size? When he's as small as a mouse maybe it's harder to pick up on his emotions?"
"Don't beat yourself up 'bout this, Rachel," Richard slurs a little. His eyes feel heavy and he just wants to take a nap but knows that he shouldn't.
"Don't go to sleep, Robin," says the alien princess, "you have a concussion and you still need to tell us what happened after that."
"Where is Beastboy?" Richard asks.
"Cyborg took him to garage after I pulled him off of you," Rachel replies with a sigh. Richard nods. That makes sense. At this point, the only one who could possible talk the changeling back into his senses would be his very best friend.
"Was anything said," Rachel asked. "Anything that could have possibly set him off like that?"
"Well yea," Richard confesses, "I wasn't too happy to find him snooping around my things. Then, he had the audacity to accuse me of poisoning him and Starfire because he didn't believe that you were the one to do it. He said that he was there looking for evidence."
Lying by omission is still a lie, but he'll let the changeling decided how much of their personal conversation he wants to share. Most of the team won't believe that Richard is capable of saying such cruel things to a teammate or Beastboy will just want to lick his wounds in silence because he lost control of himself. It's his choice. Right now, Richard is only focused on gaining sympathy points from his Rachel. The one who came to defend him. The one who saved him. The one who chose to stand by his side until he woke up instead of staying with Beastboy. This is why he chooses her every time because he knows that she will follow him without question. That thought makes him feel good and chases away any lingering doubt that he might have had about what he has done and what he continues to do. She keeps proving that she'll stay by his side so he'll never let her go...even if she wants to leave. At this point, it's too late for them both and he's perfectly content with that.
"Umm," he starts, "...I still have both my nipples right?"
He watches as a pretty blush tints Starfire's face and his Rachel looks at him like he lost is mind. He graces them both with his dimpled smile. It wasn't as effective as usual because of his swollen eye, but hey, it was worth a try.
"Of all the things to be worried about," Rachel began while massaging her forehead with her fingertips, "Lucky for you, you get to keep both of your nipples...and your life. Dick! If I had come a few seconds later you might not even be here right now."
"Oh come on, Rachel," he retorts, "you know I'm more durable than that. He did give me a run for my money but that's because I didn't want to hurt him."
"Still," Starfire begins, "we should not be turning on one another like this. We must find the culprit behind all of this."
"Agreed," Rachel says as she gently presses against Richard's uninjured shoulder. Her small, soft hand feels good against him, even if he's wearing a hospital gown. It is a firm connection that reminds him that this is real, that she is real and that she is here and ready to care for him, but he doesn't want to stay in the medic bay. Starfire will hover over him like a mother hen and sap up all of his energy.
"Since I can't go to sleep because I have a concussion...," he starts, "Rachel, can you help me back to my room? The thought of it being so...disorganized is making me anxious."
"Ugh," she starts, "you should be resting not thinking about cleaning."
Richard smiles sheepishly at her. He can't help it. He needs to inspect the damages. Even though he doesn't keep vials of I4.6 in his bedroom, he does have important documents and things that need to be reorganized. Richard has to resist the urge to look in the direction of the lab. That's where he stashed one vial of the drug. He relabeled it as a hallucination serum and slapped a bio hazard sticker on it. Now, it's sitting in the cooler with all of the other less than safe chemicals that they have on hand. Hidden in plain sight. He keeps the rest of the vials in his safe house that's hidden inside the city. He figured it would be best to only experiment on one member of his team at a time and therefore would only need to use one vial at a time.
"Fine," she says, "but you better leave the heavy lifting to me."
"I would like to come, too," Starfire chirps as she readjusts her own hospital gown.
"I don't recommend it Star," Richard gently says. "My injuries are minor compared to yours. You've been poisoned and lost your powers, plus we don't know when or if you'll have a severe reaction like Beastboy did."
Richard can see Rachel flinch out the corner of his eye at the mention of the changeling's name but he continues on anyway. "It's best that you stay here in case something were to happen."
"Don't worry Starfire," Rachel says, "Once I help this idiot organize his precious papers, I'll bring him back to the medic bay so that I can keep an eye on the both of you."
"Hey now," Richard says with mock offense, "you're one to talk. The last time I borrowed a book from you, I had to sit through a 15 minute rant about the importance of a book's binding."
She glares at him before saying, "It's not the same thing."
"Uh huh," he retorts as he heavily leans on her shoulder so she can gingerly guide him out the door. Without a second glance, they left behind a jealous princess who decides to make her way to the garage instead of staying in her hospital bed.
Well, now. That took longer than I thought it would. I apologize for them typos and any awkward sentences. I just wanted to finally get this posted.