I4.6

Chapter 31: Morning Farewell

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Adult themes. DO NOT read if you are underage or dislike controversial things.

Author's Note: HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR! Enjoy!

The silence is deafening to Richard's ears. Only on very rare occasions is the dining room ever this quiet. Only on very rare occasions is everyone this tense.

Richard glances to the right of him to see Rachel sitting beside him. She hasn't acknowledged his presence all morning. While this kind of treatment irks him to the core, he decides that now isn't the best time to address this issue. The connection between them is still very raw and sensitive after their encounter in the kitchen yesterday morning. He is sure that she is trying to process the feelings that he has for her and that she, clearly, has for him. He understands what it feels like to have the rug pulled out from under him and is willing to extent a bit of patience towards his beloved.

If only she would look at me, he thinks.

Rachel's body is completely angled away from him but not necessarily facing the changeling beside her. Her shoulders are slouched, and her posture is caving in on itself. As though she is trying to protect herself, but from what? Doesn't she know that she has nothing to be concerned about as long as he's the one beside her? Richard assumes that she's uncomfortable because she is unconsciously serving as a buffer between the team's leader and the bitter young man who is being sent away. Beastboy hasn't addressed either Rachel or himself all morning. Richard is perfectly alright with that. The less interaction those two have the better in his book. Like a sulking child, he is choosing to only communicate with Cyborg, and occasionally, Starfire. He's spent the whole morning picking at his food as he side eyes everyone at the table. His best friend included.

No one has commented about the packed bags sitting in Cyborg's car in the Tower's garage or the inevitable departure. After their conversation last night, Cyborg returned to his friend's side and helped him pack his things. He helped him load his belongs into the older man's car. From what Richard understands, it took a bit of coaxing on Cyborg's part to convince the changeling to let him drop him off at the private airport. After breakfast, the youngest member of the team will say his temporary goodbyes to his teammates before heading east to help another Titan team. This mission is only supposed to last a few weeks, but the mood in the room felt as though Beastboy would be gone forever. Not that Richard would mind. He once had very high hopes for the boy before he overstepped his boundaries. Before he decided that he would lay hands on what belonged to his leader. What was Richard's.

Richard knows that he's being irrational. Beastboy has known Rachel for as long as he has. They are teammates and have survived many life-or-death situations together. If they had developed their relationship then, then maybe Richard wouldn't have had a problem with it today. Maybe he would have stuck to Starfire and made it work. The truth is that he found is awfully convenient that the younger man decided to pursue Rachel when he sensed that Richard's attitude towards her began changing. Like a child, he wanted what someone else had. Like a child, he thought he could compete with the big boys. That's why he's in the predicament he's in now. If he had just stayed in his lane and respected Richard's boundaries there would be no need for all of this. Beastboy could never win because he only fights with his brawn and not his brains.

In a few moments, I'll be rid of you for a while, Richard thinks to himself as he shifts his eyes to the young woman sitting across from him. Her eyes are nervously darting between him, Rachel and Beastboy. He can tell that the normally jovial woman would rather be anywhere but, in this room, and at this table with them. No one really wanted to be here right now, but Richard thought that it was important that Beastboy received a proper goodbye. He would hate for the changeling to add that to his list of grievances to use against him in the future. He needs to know that the team is there for him, even if they are at odds with one another. Hopefully, by the time this wayward youth comes back, Richard would have everything sorted out. Everyone will know their place and their role in his grand design.

"Hehe...hehe," comes Cyborg's nervous laugh, "Could someone past the salt? I thought I had put enough in these eggs, but boy...do they need more!"

Everyone can tell that he is trying to take the edge off of a very tense situation...and miserably failing at it. But his request triggers two estranged team members to action. Richard finds himself reaching for the salt at the same time a smaller, paler hand is making its way towards the object. Without planning it, the back of Rachel's delicate hand grazes against his own. The jolt of electricity between them ran up his arm and straight down to his groin.

Did you feel it too, Rachel? He asks her in his mind. Richard's sharp eyes dart to his right to take in the precious expression of his beloved. To an untrained eye, she may appear to be stoic in this moment. Like nothing happened, but Richard knew her better than that. He knew the signs to look for. That's why he directs his graze to the slender column of her neck and not her face. She has spent many years honing her facial expressions to fool those foolish monks who tried to force her to repress her emotions. Richard knows not to look there. Instead, he pays attention to the tender muscles beneath the velvety skin of her neck. He notes the way her throat constricts as she swallows out of nervousness and his mind takes him back to one of his first fantasies about her. On her knees. Jaws stretching to fit him. Throat wrapped tight around his girth. Tears glistening in her eyes.

Richard finds himself quickly glancing away before his frayed nerves and inability to keep his calm gets him into even more trouble. There are two people at this table who will be able to pick up on his lust and two other teammates who weren't born yesterday. No one is in the right state of mind to deal with him trying to hump Rachel's leg like a horny rabbit. That includes himself. He has other fish that need frying first, then he can corner her and force her to talk to him. Whether she likes it or not, she's going to need to speak to him before they attend their press conference tomorrow. She can try to run from him, but he'll never allow her to get very far.

While he is digesting his thoughts, Rachel uses her powers to float the saltshaker to Cyborg. The metal man is wearing a deep frown on his face. He is clearly not liking what he's seeing. The two birds are usually in sync with one another and to see them not existing on the same page has all of his senses on high alert. Richard can tell that the older man is processing what he's seeing and trying to figure out if BeastBoy might be right about him.

Or he's trying to figure out what he's going to report back to Bruce. Snitching little shit, Richard bitterly thinks in his head. It's clear that no one at this table can truly be trusted, including Rachel. Not that he wouldn't trust them with his life, because he would. Changeling included. What they couldn't be trusted with is knowledge. The truth. They have proven themselves unworthy and the only redeemable person is Rachel. Not that he was bias or anything.

"Thanks, Raven," Cyborg's gratitude cuts Richard's thoughts short. He watches as his love gracefully nods her head once in acknowledgment. The table falls back into uncomfortable silence. There are too many words being left unsaid for the team to feel like a team. Someone has to break the ice.

"Beastboy," Richard begins, "I know that I'm the last voice that you want to hear…"

"You got that right," mutters the younger man. Normally, Richard would be peeved at being interrupted, but he chooses to let it go. Let Beastboy be the star of the show so that he can convince the rest of the team that he cares for the boy more deeply than he really does.

"I just want to tell you that what you're feeling is valid," Richard says, "I don't really know what started the issue between us, but I hope that some time apart will help us both clear our heads. This way, when we see each other again, we can have a real conversation about what's making you so upset. I…"

"Bullshit," hisses the changeling from between his teeth. "We can have that conversation right now. You wanna know what bugs me about you? It's your know-it-all attitude. Who died and made you king, huh?!"

"You might not agree with it, but I am the leader of this team. It's my job to make the best decisions for the group based on my knowledge and experience," Richard retorts. "Unless you think you can do a better job?"

"Ha!," Beastboy huffs with no amusement in his voice. "Of course you'd take it there. That's your go to excuse for everything! 'I'm the leader so you have do as I say' or 'This is my team and I decided what we do.' Get your head out your ass! You're not the only one who is capable!"

"Oh?" Richard asks as his eyes narrow, and a plan begins to form in his head. Cyborg and Beastboy tend to share everything with one another, what are the odds that BB knows about the correspondences between the metal man and Batman? Richard follows with another question, "Who else is qualified to be leader of the Titans?"

There's a smug expression that crosses his green face when folds his arms over his chest and proudly proclaims "Dude, obviously, Cyborg."

"Is there anyone else who thinks that Cy would make a better leader than me?" Richard casually asks the rest of the team who have been silent this whole time. No one is quite sure how they are supposed to respond. Was this a test of loyalty or could they answer freely? Starfire isn't trying to step on Richard's toes in case there may be an opportunity to get back on his good side and, hopefully, in his arms. Raven isn't sure what kind of answer she's supposed to provide because both men are great leaders in their own way. Do each have their share of flaws? Yes, but that doesn't mean that one is better than the other. Cyborg stays quite because he doesn't want to toot his own horn in such a tense situation.

"Come on, Robin," the metal man attempts to say with a strained smile, "no one is trying to replace you as our leader. You've been doing it for years and we've been doing good this whole time."

"That doesn't mean that the team couldn't use some new leadership," Beastboy interjects. "Come on, man! We all know that you're not livin' up to your potential. You've been living in Robin's shadow this whole time! Even Batman said…"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" comes Cyborg's booming voice. Effectively drowning out whatever BB was in the process of saying. Everyone at the table, besides Richard, looks taken aback by the outburst. Without realizing it, Beastboy confirms what he had been dreading this whole time.

"Robin," Cyborg says, turning is full attention to him, "no one here is trying to replace you as leader. I think the real issue is how you've been acting lately. You've been behaving like the team is no longer your main priority and I find that concerning."

You feel that way because the team is no longer my first priority. Rachel is, Richard responds in his head, but he says "As a leader, a friend and as a man, I juggle many important things, but the team has always been a priority for me. Everyone at this table knows that. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be working so damn hard to keep it together and make sure it thrives."

How is he supposed to explain to his teammates, that he's grown up with, that he's outgrown them? He's ready to move on and seek something bigger and better...with Rachel by his side, of course. At this point, if Batman has been truly toying with the idea of replacing him with Cyborg, then anything else that he invests in this team is wasted energy. This team is no longer his, if it ever was. Bruce's far-reaching shadow has always lingered over everything that he's done. Every success. Every failure. Every relationship. Everything.

Richard's bitter thoughts are interrupted when he feels a small, delicate hand lightly rest over his own. He hadn't realized that he was clenching his fork in a death grip as he allowed his mind to get the better of him. He glances to the right and locks eyes with worried violet ones. Rachel doesn't openly say anything to him, but he's sure that she can feel the myriad of emotions toiling away within him. While she can't read his thoughts, she knows him well enough to understand how sensitive he becomes when his choices and leadership qualities are called into question. Richard knows this about himself and is ever grateful for her presence and reassuring hand. At least he knows that she doesn't outright hate him.

"Dick?…" is quietly whispered to the air between them and Richard is elated to hear his name on her lips. He is even more enthralled as he watches Rachel press her plump mouth into a straight line. Concern etched into her brow. It occurs to him that she's been frowning more than laughing recently and that revelation doesn't sit right with him.

"It's fine, Rachel," he whispers back. "It's a conversation that needs to be had…"

Before Richard can finish the rest of his sentence, the violent sound of metal scraping against metal assaults his ears. Both young birds turn their attention to see Starfire standing there with tears in her eyes. Throughout the whole breakfast, she had kept quiet and to herself. Resisting when Beastboy would desperately try to engage her in conversation. There's no way that he doesn't know about what happened between her and Richard yesterday. Everyone knew. That's why no one was surprised to see her reacting at the sight before her. Richard can, practically, see the thoughts running through her head. The poor thing looked like she was torn between crying and beating the stuffing out of Rachel. If she only knew that the empath spent more time singing her praises and pushing him towards her than she did actively pursuing him, she would be surprised. She still wouldn't believe it, though.

He can feel his beloved tensing beside him as she quickly pulls her hand away from his. He can't stop himself from frowning at the loss of her reassuring warmth, but he knows that he has to give into her wants right now so that she'll feel more comfortable with him later. Richard also knew that it would be disingenuous for him to ask Starfire if she's alright since he's the main reason that she's not. Rachel also doesn't ask. Instead, she looks away. It's Beastboy who breaks the silence.

"Hey, Star," he lightly calls as he also stands up from the table, "Walk me to the car?"

She glances at the changeling before looking back at Rachel and says "Gladly, friend Beastboy."

Starfire looks somewhat satisfied as Rachel winces beside him. Richard wonders what she's thinking. She's clearly not the only reason for the breakdown in the budding romance between Star and himself. No one was. He just realized that they weren't compatible with one another like he thought, and she had hoped. However, knowing Rachel like he does, there's no way that she's not blaming herself for the deterioration of all the relationships around her. Her entanglement with BB has led to tension between her and Cyborg as well as many arguments with himself. Her connection to Richard has brought about the official breakup of Robstar which has put her at odds with the only other woman on this team. She's clearly, also, chosen to stand by his side when BB attacked him and stole his laptop which has the younger man feeling betrayed.

Richard is sure that Rachel is beating herself up for all of this. He's also sure that he's going to take full advantage of her disoriented state to pull her closer to him. It wouldn't be his proudest moment, but he'd be a fool to not take advantage of such an opportunity. The real question is how he should console her when the only person she has left to turn to is him?

The sound of metal scratching against metal pulls Richard out of his scheming thoughts. He sees that the other members of his team are standing along with Starfire. It appears as though everyone else is going to see Beastboy off in the garage. Richard also makes moves to stand but his actions are cut short by the changeling's stern voice.

"It's best if you stay here, Robin," the young man says with one hand raised. Open palm facing Richard in the universal sign for "stop." He feels a frown pulling at his face. Not because he is being barred form saying good riddance to the shape shifter, but because of the commanding tone and gesture that the changeling is using. This is not the behavior of someone who is speaking to their superior. He ultimately decides to ignore it once he catches the nervous glances that Rachel's violet eyes are casting between him and the changeling. It wouldn't do to cause a scene now. Not when Beastboy is so close to leaving.

Instead of pushing back and locking horns in a power play that would get neither men anywhere, Richard decides to be the bigger person of the two of them. He raises an eyebrow in response to the changeling's open palm and inclines his head in acknowledgment and says "I understand. Have a safe trip, Beastboy."

The younger man scowls at Richard's response and opens his mouth to retort but thinks it over. Without so much as a goodbye, he whirls around on his heels and briskly walks out of the dining room door. The rest of his team hustles after him like chicks chasing their mother hen. Rachel is the last one out of the door, but before she crosses the threshold, she glances back at him. She parts her pretty lips as though she is about to say something, but then nothing comes out.

Richard graces her with a small, soft smile before quietly saying, "We'll talk later. You should say goodbye first."

She nods her head once before turning around and quickly walks out the door.

Richard is left alone at the dinner table with the half-eaten breakfast and dirty dishes. He glances out of the window and spies a flock of birds soaring through the sky. Flying in the typical V formation. In sync with one another. Moving as a unit. For a moment, he experiences a soft sense of envy and wonders to himself about whether or not those animals have an ego. An understanding of themselves that is greater than the flock. They clearly do not because that is the true meaning of teamwork and moving as one to accomplish a goal. Right now, the Titans can barely be considered a team. They are fractured beyond repair thanks to their egos. Their need to put their own selfish wants before the team is the reason that there is so much tension and unknown change in the air. They each selfishly want something that they can't have which is causing the strife between the members. Everyone has outgrown their roles and now think that they are larger than the position that they were assigned when they started.

There is a part of Richard that feels infinitely sad at this revelation. He knew that he, too, would be leaving the team to move on to bigger and more deserving things. However, he hadn't thought that it would lead to the dissolution of the team. He had assumed that the members would just shift and readjust when he is ready to leave. Never had he thought that he would be taking Rachel with him. That wasn't his original plan when he approached her all of those years ago on the Tower's roof top. He had just wanted to understand her better so that he could control her enormous power better. If he had known that she would somehow worm her way into his heart and mind, then he would have been much more cautious around her. He would have done a better job at protecting himself against her charm. He would have not gotten as comfortable with relying on her as much as he has. Now, he sees Rachel as an extension of himself. Richard could no sooner cut her out of his life as cut off his own limb. Even if she tried to leave him, he knew that he wouldn't be able to let her go. There is no him. There is no her. Just them. Together.

Richard couldn't stop thinking about the jolt of electric longing that sparked between them earlier as he begins clearing the table of their meal. The backs of their hands barely brushed against each other, but his body has been ready and willing to respond. Dangerously so. Richard considers himself a patient man. It is a skill that he had to learn. During missions. Dealing with Batman. Emotionally supporting Bruce. Entertaining high society puffer fish. His pool of patience is deep, but he couldn't help but to feel as though he's swimming in the shallow end when it comes to Rachel. He feels very much like a fish out of water when he sits beside her. Where did all his flirting skills go? Why doesn't his usual charm get the same effect from her as it does every other woman? Why does she seem immune? Is that the reason he's chasing her so hard?

Richard internally chides himself for that last desperate question as he piles the dirty dishes on top of each other so that he can carry them to the kitchen. His affection and attachment ran deeper than just the chase. There have been plenty of women who have tried that method before. As though they would capture his attention by ignoring him. No, she captured him by being there for him in the most unobtrusive way possible. In the beginning, she would quietly wait in the shadows until he was ready to share with her. As their friendship strengthened, she would wait beside him as he sorts through the myriad of complex and over analyzed feelings running through his head and heart. Sometimes, they wouldn't say a word to each other for hours and other times their conversations would be so lively that they would forget what time it was. She didn't pout like Starfire does when he is not willing to share things right away. She wasn't offended by his need to keep his share of secrets. As a woman with her share of complexities, she recognizes and respects his.

That is why I will chase you to the ends of the earth, Richard thinks to himself as he picks up Rachel's glass with a bit of left-over orange juice. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips as his sharp eyes spies the imprint of her lips on the glass. Full lips that gently whispered his name earlier when he felt himself losing control of his composure. Lips that fell opened in surprise when he held her in his arms yesterday and reminded her about her confession. Lips that latched themselves onto that flimsy water bottle that started him on his path to realization.

Richard feels a little saddened at the fact that he hasn't tasted those lips, yet. His thumb gently rubs the spot just beneath the imprint on the glass as he thinks about all of the things he would like to do to her full mouth. Teeth and tongue meshed firmly together as he presses her body into his plush mattress. Exploring all of their carnal desires without a care in the world. Maybe that should be his new year's resolution. If he's lucky, he'll have her by his side and in his bed by the new year.

The thought brings a smile to his face as he casually raises the glass to his own lips. He is careful to align her imprints to his own, eager, mouth as he finishes off the orange juice. He gently places the cup on the pile of dirty dishes that he carries to the kitchen. Richard proceeds to clear the dishes and load them up in the Tower's state of the art dishwasher. When he is sure that everything is loaded properly, he starts the machine and walks away. Someone else can unload it when it's done.

Richard makes his way to the Tower's command room, takes his seat in his comfy work chair with lumbar support and turns on the main computer. The Tower has motion sensor security cameras set up on the perimeter and outer attachments like the field, outdoor pool, roof etc, but not in their dwelling spaces like their bedrooms and kitchen. The team had decided that they wanted these areas to feel more like a home and less like a prison where their every moves are being recorded. He takes a deep breath as he begins to load the footage from the security cameras in the garage. While he's a little hurt that his presence was specifically not welcomed, he understands why. In fact, he is a bit relieved by not having to wear his leader mask as he watches the scene unfold in front of him, as though it is a movie. Both Beastboy and Cyborg are standing on the passenger's side of the car. The door is open, and it appears as though all of BB's things have already been packed into the car. Starfire is present, but she's standing the furthest away from the group. Rachel is standing near Cyborg as she exchanges words with Beastboy. From what Richard can tell, the atmosphere is tense, but no one seems to be arguing.

The leader of the Titans continues to watch as each member of the group continues to say their goodbyes as he slowly inserts wireless earphones into his ears. Their security cameras can capture visuals but not audio, however, Richard isn't too concerned because he had taken measures last night. There was no denying the rage and betrayal he felt when he found out that Cyborg has been communicating with Bruce for a very long time. He had left the older man unsupervised because he thought that he could trust him when he clearly cannot be. That is why Richard planted a listening device underneath the passenger's seat of the team's car. There's no doubt in his mind that the two best friends will be having a more...personal...conversation on their way to the airport. Richard is hoping that the last face to face chat that they will be having for a very long time will shed some much needed light onto the disastrous relationship that Beastboy and Rachel briefly shared before it all went to shit like he knew it would. Richard is, also, curious to know how much the changeling knows about Cyborg's correspondence with Batman. Today's breakfast conversation made it seem as though he does know something about it.

Richard's eyes are trained on the screen as he hears crackling in his ears. Starfire's voice is barely audible because she is standing so far away from the car, but he can hear "...careful...back...friend."

It sounded like a standard farewell to Richard's ears so there were no alarm bells going off. He watches as Cyborg places his heavy metal hand on the changeling's shoulder as he says, "Before you know it, you'll be back home."

"I don't know, Cy," the younger man sadly says as he digs his hands deeper into his pockets, "I'm not sure this place feels like home anymore."

"Don't say that Beastboy," says Rachel's angelic voice in his ear. "This is your home. You're always welcomed back here. We're your team and your family."

"Are you?" The changeling asks and Richard is pleased to see a confused frown mar Rachel's beautiful face.

"I don't want to fight," she says with sadness laced in her voice, "It'll be a few weeks until we see each other again. I don't want this...or our friendship to be...bitter."

There is a humorless laugh that leaves the changeling's mouth, and it causes everyone, including Richard, to frown. He looks into Rachel's lovely violet eyes and says, "I understand where you stand."

He glances behind her head and makes eye contact with Starfire. He nods his head once in acknowledgment and turns towards the car.

"Friend Beastboy," Starfire calls. The changeling turns around at the mention of his name and the alien princess continues with "Friend, I would like to request a hug before you go."

What an odd request to make. As far as Richard knew, the beauty and the beast weren't that close to each other. He watches on in mild amusement as Starfire makes a show of stepping up to Beastboy and wrapping her arms around him. Her sparkling green eyes are soaking in Rachel's response to her elaborate show of affection. The petty princess is careful to cradle the changeling's head to her ample chest as her other arm wraps securely around his shoulder. In return, Beastboy wraps both of his arms around Starfire's slender waist. If one didn't know any better, they would think that this is the parting of two lovers and not two vengeful teammates trying to hurt his beloved. It's irritating to watch, but necessary. The two fools don't realize that they are driving a deeper wedge between them and the empath. The further she is from the meddling mutt and annoying alien, then the closer she'll be to stepping into his arms.

"I wish you well on your journey, Beastboy," is Rachel's dry final farewell before melting into the shadows. She is clearly hurt by what she just saw but hiding it well. If Richard knows her like he thinks he does, then she's probably sulking in her favorite cave beneath the Tower. It would be nice if she ran straight to him and laid her head on his chest as he strokes her hair and wipes her tears, but those kinds of good things come to those who wait. He's waited this long, what's a few more days or weeks?

"Come on, Beastboy" calls Cyborg as he climbs into the driver's side of the car. "We don't want to be late."

The changeling has since released his hold on Starfire and nods at her one more time before crawling into the car. The princess stands there and watches as the car drives away into the morning sun. Once the vehicle is out of sight, she slowly walks out of frame.

At this point, Richard shuts off the screen so that he can better focus on the private conversation happening on a very public highway.

Look at what you've done Richard! Are you proud of the mess you've made?