AN: New chapter is here. And with it, the next ARC is on the way!
Also some news, chapters will be taking more time to be uploaded as I am also currently writing a story on Wattpad! It's called 'Monstrous' and is about bodyhorror, cosmic terror and fighting. So I will work on one chapter for this story and then the other, so once one is done, I can focus on the other.
Don't worry, I will never stop writing this story, I'm too invested as is; and I'm really excited about where it's going.
Now for a fun bit, if Nijino Josho had a voice actor, no one would do better than Kana Hanazawa! Y'know, the actress that voices Satō Matsuzaka from Happy Sugar Life, and Satomi Murano from Parasyte...also Seryu Ubiquitous from Akame ga Kill!, just for references sake.
Also, title for this chapter is from a certain little movie, that I truly adore.
Anyways that's enough of that, Ladies and Gents, ENJOY!
Chapter 21: Falling Down
Staring out his bedroom window, the sun began to rise.
Subaru stared dizzyingly out at the foggy day, making it quite the eerie, yet mesmerizing sight. It wasn't so hard that you couldn't see two feet in front of you, but it was harder to see the further out you were.
So Subaru rubbed his eyes and sat up from his bed.
"You were doing it again, I suppose."
Turning his attention downward, Beatrice was laying next to him, wearing a pink pajama, plastered with little decals of chibi Pucks and Genaus.
She rubbed her forehead, then grabbed his wrist, making a wet squishy sound.
"Your wrists this time?"
"Must've been really bad, if it went that far."
This was something that only Genau and Beatrice knew about, Subaru's frantic scratching. Many nights, he would claw into his arms, and within a years time, his upper arm was littered in scars.
Beatrice began healing him, per usual routine. Glancing around, he noticed, a certain Wolgarm was missing.
"Where is Genau, he usually wakes up last?"
"He got up a while ago, complaining he was going to get something to eat, I suppose."
"Sounds just like him."
"Right, there all done."
He twisted his wrist and allowed himself to pat Beatrice, pulling her into a hug.
"Thanks."
"Not an issue, I suppose."
Beatrice softly rubbed his chest.
When he looked down...static filled his vision. He saw her reaching out to him, as she faded into light.
Holding his head in pain, Beatrice touched his hands.
"Subaru, it's those visions again, isn't it?"
"N-No, I'm just tired."
"You can't lie to Betty, I suppose! It's those other worlds, the ones you saw in the Trials!"
"S-Stop…"
"Subaru, please, you haven't slept in peace since you told us about Return by Death! Let Betty help-"
Subaru grabbed her, staring viciously into her shocked eyes.
"AND HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO HELP ME?!"
"...S-Subaru…"
"...Oh...OH GOD...Beatrice, I'm sorry."
He hugged her tightly, trembling. It was obvious he was sickened by the actions he just did, but Beatrice hugged him back.
"Betty is not upset, she understands that you are exhausted."
"Yeah."
"What you saw in those other worlds, scared you, angered you, maybe even sickened you. Betty cannot be ignorant and say she could understand, but I want to help you get through this, I suppose. Okay?"
He nodded, and with that, Subaru got up and focused his ring. Now he was no longer in pajamas, but in his uniform; they both got out of bed and out into the hallways.
Subaru walked off to take a bath, clear his mind and Beatrice left to freshen up in the ladies bath. Though she did blush, thinking of an incident a few months back, when Subaru got drunk and took Beatrice with him to the bath. He didn't do anything bad per say, just giving her a bath, but she always treasured it as the most intimate moment between them. He showed no stress, malice or paranoia, it was just the two of them. She giggled a tad, closing the bath door behind her.
Subaru splashed into the tub and rubbed water on his face. The reflection of the water, showed clearly the scars he gained throughout his battles.
Petelgeuse.
Garfiel.
Priscilla.
Ley.
Capella.
His tired eyes tapped his temple.
He looked back, seeing the static again. This time, he saw someone in a pitch black, sort of a...bat-like costume, calling out to him.
He grasped his face, palms sinking into his skin. He shook his head violently, before taking a deep breath and removing his hands. Letting the water soak his body.
Rem turned a corner, just to see Beatrice exit the bath, in her usual clothes but using a towel to wipe clean her drill hairs.
"Oh, good morning Beatrice-sama."
"Morning Rem, I suppose."
"So where is Subaru-kun and Genau?"
"Subaru is taking a bath and Genau ran off to the kitchen, but I assume it's your sisters duty today to protect the food supply from him."
"Ah, well, yes...that seems to be the new task we have to undertake."
She laughed it off, but Beatrice sighed, both knew full well that if neither maid or Frederica took guard, Genau would try and eat anything not nailed down.
"Is...Is, Subaru-kun alright?"
"...To be honest, I think this getting out of hand, I suppose."
"Those, other memories?"
"Indeed, he's struggling to keep them in check, even I wouldn't know what it's like to see over two thousand different worlds, most of them ending in tragic consequences."
"Rem...is sad to hear that."
Rem looked away, sad as can be. Beatrice walked over and patted her hand.
"There is nothing to be done, I suppose. Subaru saw those worlds to prevent the disaster that could have happened."
"You mean with the Great Spirit?"
"...Yes, with Nii-chan."
There, it was. The uncomfortable atmosphere that accompanied the knowledge given to them about Return by Death.
After speaking to them about the various deaths he suffered, Rem and Ram were visibly shaken by it, Beatrice was mournful of his sacrifices, and his own Red Lanterns truly shocked by his Authority's power. Even Genau was stunned to think of the man who was his leader, actually being a Sin Archbishop.
Roswaal, was defeated, seeing that his chance to abuse his power was lost, left him downtrodden.
But it was Emilia who had a panic attack, not only having to hear how Subaru died so many times to save her...but also how Puck killed him and possibly froze to death, many people in the ensuing alternate future. A humongous verbal argument did spark that day, leaving Emilia tear-filled. Not only that, Subaru let slip all of the events of the alternate timelines, bringing Emilia's memories of Petelgeuse, Fortuna, Arch and much more, flooding back to her. The powers that affected them, also an Authority, gone.
She outright slapped Puck out of the air, screaming that she hated him for lying to her, running to hug Subaru, crying into his chest.
Once again, much like Ram, Puck's relationship with the others became awkward.
The once playful Beatrice, would pet him and speak with him, but she showed less affection than before.
Genau himself, would growl at the floating spirit, much like he would with Ram.
The Red Lanterns, were polite, but obviously wary of the spirit, ready to fight it, should the need arise.
That wasn't to say they shunned them outright, they were still allies and Subaru ordered his Red Lanterns to treat them both as equals.
Rem tapped Beatrice on the head.
"Rem is alright, Rem just wants to find a way to help Subaru, deal with all this."
"We can both find it right?"
"Yes!"
Now a bit more cheered up, Rem continued with her duties, as Beatrice went to speak with Ovidius in his room.
Ram sat on her chair, glaring.
"No matter what, you won't get your paws on them."
"Boooo! You ssssuck Pink Haired Rem!"
Genau laid on his side, using a fork construct to float over to his belly and scratch it.
"Why do I have to bother protecting our meals from a borish beast like you?"
"Causssse, deep down you love me!"
"I love you as much as I do a cockroach."
"...Cockroachessss can alssso be eaten, maybe even cooked."
"Ew, Dumb glutton."
Genau stuck out his tongue, trying to get back at her. Still, Ram remained composed and simply humphed her gaze away. When she gazed out the window, she saw several streaks of light land outside.
"Looks like Wilhelm-sama and the others have returned."
"Yessssss! They have the bissssscuits I ordered!"
Springing back to his feet, he hopped out of the kitchen, tail wagging and everything.
Ram sat alone, but did indeed get up and pick up a kitchen knife.
Staring at it's fine sleek sharpness, her ruby eyes sparkled at it. The thoughts in her head echoed in her mind, trying to both ease her and excite her. For a year now, she has been an emotional wreck, seeing her master falter in his health and demeanor; her sister blindly following HIS orders and sympathizing with him.
It disgusted her, even with knowledge of his suffering with Return by Death and his visions while in The Tomb, not a shred of forgiveness was in her heart for him.
"This is all your fault, I don't care what you say."
She stabbed the knife into a counter, staring out into nothingness.
"Why are you still alive?"
She yanked the knife out, silently whispering to herself.
"Natsuki….Subaru…"
Alone in that barely lit kitchen, she tossed the knife onto the table, walking away before getting a hold of herself.
Wilhelm entered the main doors along with Nijino, Mimi and Frederica. Running up to them was Genau, eagerly awaiting his snacks. Without even a word, Wilhelm tossed a bag and Genau caught it in his mouth, Mimi ran to him.
"Mimi helped get you some snacks~! Share some! Share some!"
"M'kay! Let'sssss go outssssside and eat them!"
"YAY!"
The two hurried along and ran past the others, everyone was aware that Mimi would only visit from time to time as she was still working for the Hoshin Camp. But her inclusion into the Red Lantern Corps, helped bridge friendly relations between the two Camps, and in essence make the three remaining teams work splendidly.
Frederica chuckled seeing the two of them rush out into the gardens.
"They really do get along, don't they Wilhelm?"
"Both of them have their childish antics, but it can be quite good for a camaraderie in the team. And you Frederica-san?"
"I try to adjust my attitudes with everyone. The twins seemed to know me in the past, so I've been doing my best to get along with them."
"And our team?"
"As you can see, I get along with most of my teammates."
"Most?"
She brushed her hair as she looked away.
"Ovidius is hard to read at times, even without his helmet."
"He keeps his emotions in check, it's commendable."
"Maybe, but can't you sense something in him."
"Anger? We all have that-"
"-Guilt."
Wilhelm got quiet, a complex aura surrounded his visage, something about what she said hit home for him. Nijino feeling the atmosphere change, decided to fly off and see Subaru, she waved at them and flew away. Leaving these two to continue their conversation.
"I agree then, and I understand how it is for him."
"Telling us about his past and showing us Red Lanterns his face, must have been uncomfortable for him."
"Before meeting all of us, he had no comrades to call his own. Even with friends by his side, he can't reveal too much, but some of the guilt he fosters for his family's demise, still leaks out."
"The only one he ever shows his full self to, is Liliana-san."
"Ah, his...his..girlfriend."
Both grimaced when he said that, still remembering the quiet shell shocked expressions on everyone's faces when he brought Liliana over one day, about five months ago. Publicly revealing his relationship with her, leaving Subaru and Wilhelm, in particular, a little vexxed about a grown man dating a woman, who looked like a child.
"Her inner beauty outweighs the appearance she has, I can attest to that."
Liliana blushed happily hearing that, but his words, rubbed everyone, save for Mimi and Genau, the wrong way.
Still, Wilhelm thought wisely on the matter.
"We may be Red Lanterns, but allowing ourselves to stifle our rage when not in use, is key to our survival. I think his relationship with Liliana-dono is good for him."
"Probably right."
Frederica and Wilhelm continued to the halls, both of them ready to head to their own rooms. But…
"Isn't it that time of the week."
"Ah, yes. Thank you for reminding me Frederica-san. I have to visit my wife."
He handed her his portion of the supplies, which she handled easily with her strength. The Sword Demon floated up and nodded to her.
"Tell the others I'll be back by supper."
"Yup, take your time.
"I will, excuse me."
He flew out of the mansion, leaving Frederica to run into Roswaal.
"Well if it isn't Mathers-dono."
"I still caaaaan't quite get accustomed to you caaaaalling me that."
"Sorry, but I was only used to you, a few months ago."
"Oh my…"
Roswaal seemed more tired in this year of his life, than any of the others. Though Ram was still ever faithful to him and Rem did her job as a maid well, the others were a bit different.
Nijino was especially distant with him, not even speaking with him or acknowledging his existence.
"Are you busy then Mathers-dono?"
"Well of course, the paperwork haaaaaas stacked up immensely I would dare saaaaay."
"The Royal Selection is nearing its end, so we have to face the truth of the matter."
"Oooof course, Emilia-sama's victory."
His eyes sharpened, grin stretched and hope burning in his eyes.
"Yes Mathers. We both know that the other two candidates have done little to catch up to our exploits and have gotten little attention in anything noteworthy."
"Defeating the Witch's Cult and killing the White Whale has raaaaaised our stock."
"That's an eager way of putting it, but yeah."
That's when Frederica stared out the window and sighed.
"I wonder how visitors actually feel about seeing them."
"Ah, them...from what I heard, it's nerve wracking to say the least."
A soft blue raptor, larger than a human or ground dragon patrolled the gardens, his orange eyes beamed in power, matching the yellow stripes all across his back. Not far behind...an actual Guiltylowe, very similar to the one Dex-Starr killed two years ago. It growled as it gazed around, looking for anything suspicious. Flying over it was a raven, the size of a small of child; with bright red eyes, a horn on the back of it's head, and tiny fangs, much like a shark, moving around in its beak, as it cawed.
"The three main guards of the mansion are still hard at work."
"Subaru and Ovidius-kun named them did they not?"
"Subaru-sama and Ovidius-san did actually give them their names, let's see."
Seeing the velociraptor-like beast try and bite a butterfly, only for it to get away…
"Okay, that one's Carolus Rex, apparently named after the final king of a doomed empire from the world Subaru-sama is originally from. Apparently, the kingdom's colors were blue and yellow, so his stripes helped in the naming process."
"Quite befitting fooooor that high attitude monster."
The large raven, perched onto the top of a tree and cawed
"Ababil, named after some sort of text Subaru-sama inferred to Ovidius-san about. He seemed to like it and gave that name to it. He refers to it also as the Winged Hussar."
"It actually maaaakes sense, since we both know about it's main aaaaability."
The Guiltylowe roared loudly and proudly, not caring if it scared anything nearby.
"And the leader of the Patrol Group, directly under Genau's watch...Attero Dominatus."
"To think Ovidius-san cooooould even accomplish this."
"True, plus we have all those Wolgarms and other Ma-Beast guarding our territories."
"An invaluable army, aaaaand with the test sites innnnnn the Sanctuary, Priestella, and in the former Barielle lands, we have aaaaa steady flow of beasts to make."
She rubbed her chin, recalling something.
"I overheard them saying that they are in the process of creating another high level Ma-Beast."
"Ooooh? Any information?"
"Hmmmm, I think I heard they want to create a dragon, much like the one called Valrgen."
Memories flashed in Roswaal's head, remembering how it was Wilhelm who killed the large three headed black dragon, years ago…
"Anything else?"
"Just that this is information not to leak anywhere, and it's filed in their operations as, 'PROJECT GHIDORAH', don't know what that last word means though."
"I see, if it aaaaaids in our strength, then I aaaaam all for it.."
They both nodded, assured that they would grew in strength, creating an actual army of monsters that would protect Emilia when she was coronated as the future king.
"Now then, is there anything else Mathers?"
"Noooothing at all."
"Well, I have to go deliver this to Ram-chan, excuse me."
She flew away and left Roswaal there, he gazed out the window and saw the misty bright day.
"Thiiiings are getting closer to it."
He grinned a most devious grin.
"I'll save you Echidna...and have that dragon killed for good."
He scraped his fingers across the glass.
"Wait for me."
Petra stood petrified, holding a small basket in her hands, she trembled.
A large shadow covered her entire body...as Carolus Rex leaned his head down and growled at her. However, Attero Dominatus let out a grunt and strolled over to them. Carolus knew not to trifle with him, so he backed off. The Guiltylowe motioned his head, and the raptor backed away.
Petra swallowed some air and put on a brave face.
"U-Um, I was here to see, um, Subaru. Do you know where he is?"
"HRRRR."
Attero sniffed the basket and Petra opened it up, pulling out a muffin.
"Here, you can have one."
"Grr?"
Using his tongue, he scooped out of her hand and ate it. With a proud nod, he used his tail to point to the woods east of them. She nodded and did a humble bow.
"Thank you very much."
"Grr."
She hurried off, as Attero licked his lips and continued his patrol.
Petra had the basket in her hands as she excitedly hurried to go see a person she hadn't seen in two weeks. Painstakingly crafting blueberry muffins that she could present to him...but made extra ones, just in case Genau and Mimi showed up.
It took several days and silly failures to do so, but her feelings made it through and she hoped he would like them…
Subaru was near a small pond, staring at his reflection.
His sleepy eyes nodded off here and there. He did have trouble with his sleep and also...also…
"Subaru?"
A familiar voice rang across from him. On the other side of the pond, she was there.
Brown hair, eyes strikingly exact to his.
"Mom?"
Natsuki Naoko was on the other side of the pond, smiling at him.
"You've grown up so much Subaru, I almost didn't recognize you."
"Stop it…"
"I wonder if you got taller, hm? Well I hardly kept track, still, you have matured into a faithful man."
"Please stop it…"
"I was wondering if you've been eating well? Got some mayonnaise to eat there?"
"For the love of...please stop…"
"I wish I could tell you, how much I-"
"-STOP IT! STOP! STOP!"
Subaru held his ears and stared down at the water, not wishing to see her.
"Subaru, is it because of that cup?"
"...Oh."
Subaru instantly remembered, the day he had left his house to get some snack, to do something so tedious as that...not knowing it would be his final day to do something worth more. He could've stayed in his house and washed a single cup and in that small time frame, speak with his mother.
But his own cowardice at seeing that sad look on his mother's face and her pleas for him to go to school...made him forget about washing that cup. Had he stayed, his mother would make him feel anxious and depressed, so he ran off to occupy his time.
Then, the Witch of Envy summoned him to Lugnica.
Yes.
In order to avoid his mother, he refused to wash a single cup.
A single cup.
The sole reason he lost his chance, to speak with his mother one last time.
Just. A. Single. Cup.
"That's not-"
"-I know you didn't want to talk, but don't you think we've been worried sick about you?"
"Mom, please, I don't ask to come here-"
"-But you never tried to find a way back did you? Do you hate us that much?"
He finally raised his head to face her.
"NO! I LOVE YOU! YOU AND DAD! I REALLY DO!"
"Then why won't you come home?"
"I have things here, things to protect, things to cherish! I have a life here."
"...Does all that killing become a part of your life, too?"
"Mom?"
Her face become despondent, before breaking down into tears.
"How can my little Subaru do that?"
"No wait…"
"All those people you killed…"
"Mom, LISTEN ME! I had to! I had no choice!"
"Everyone has a choice! Have you forgotten everything we taught you?!"
"No! No! NO! I still do!"
"You left us! Abandoned your family!"
"I didn't want to!"
"I DON'T UNDERSTAND SUBARU! WHY CAN'T YOU EXPLAIN IT!?"
"PLEASE! I'M TRYING TO!"
"You are the only one doing this! Killed all those people! Burned all those homes!"
Now Subaru noticed Naoko was soaking wet. Her face clearly distraught in sadness, anger and grief.
"WE'VE WAITED FOR YOU! WE SEARCHED ALL OF JAPAN AND EVEN KOREA FOR YOU! SO MANY HOURS! SO MANY DAYS! BUT YOU WERE HERE LETTING THESE FIRES BURN ALL AROUND YOU!"
"M-Mom?"
"LOOK! LOOK SUBARU, LOOK! EVERYTHING IS BURNING!"
"...!"
Suddenly, Naoko burst into flames, Subaru watched on in silent horror. With his eyes reflecting the brightness of the blaze, Subaru could only stare as his mother became a human flame.
He looked down and saw that the pond turned bright red...like blood. Blood soaked apparitions of all those he killed; Petelgesue, Garfiel, Priscilla, Dedmon, Ley, Louis and so many others, women and children, soldiers and knights, all grabbing onto him. They screamed, moaned and wept, crying out their lost hopes, damning him to hell and shrieking out his name.
"Subaru, did this all have to happen? How could we be proud of you, son?"
He heard his father behind him, but when he sprung his head around...there was only Petra.
"Subaru? What's wrong?"
The static came into his vision again, and now he saw her wearing a maid outfit, strikingly similar to Rem's old one...and her face bleeding.
"UGAHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOO!"
He fired a beam from his ring, it shot near inches from Petra's face and blasted through several trees. Petra fell on her behind, dropping the basket and spilling out some muffins.
"S-Subaru…"
"...P-Petra? Is that really you?"
"Subaru? Why did you do that?"
"I'm sorry, listen I'm so sorry."
With tears flooding out of her eyes, she trembled.
"Why are making such scary things?"
"What?"
He turned around...and saw that he created constructs of all those dead people and his flame covered mother, obvious given their crimson color. He violently shook his head and had those constructs dissipate.
He rushed over to give Petra a big hug.
"Petra, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry."
Petra hugged him back, brushing his hair, in the distance a red streak of light was going to meet them.
"Now as you can see Petra-chan, Natsuki-san has been pretty stressed lately, what with the Royal Selection looming and the further elimination of the remnants of the Witch's Cult."
"But still…"
Ovidius squatted down patting her shoulder, as she was unsure about Subaru.
"See then, Petra-chan has every right to be worried, but I can assure you that Natsuki-san is well enough. It was just a moment of panic is all. Nothing to get anxious about."
"I wish Subaru would just take a break, he works too hard."
"Aha, that he does."
She then noticed the muffins on the ground, and made a more troubled look. Subaru instantly noticed this and used his ring to levitate them, wipe away the dirt and proceed to eat one.
"Ah! Wait, those are dirty!"
"Mmf, Petra made them for me, right? I can't let these go to waste then."
"Just, hold on…"
"They're very good. Keep it up, and Rem might have a rival in cooking."
Subaru smiled, which made a teary eyed Petra smile back.
"Petra, thank you."
"You're welcome, Subaru."
Attero appeared soon after, and Ovidius stood up.
"Attero, please escort Petra-chan home. We'll have some Wolgarm take your position until you come back."
The large dark lion agreed and walked alongside Petra, who waved goodbye to them. Ovidius and Subaru also waved bye to her, as Ovidius flipped around his own muffin.
With Petra gone far enough…
"Natsuki-san, we need to talk.
"Sure."
Nijino walked through the halls, just to run into Ram.
"Well. Hello there Ram-san."
"Nijino-sama, how are you?"
Though she did a humble bow, Nijino leaned down and stared at her.
"Enough with the formalities, it's just us two right now."
Ram nodded and raised herself, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms.
"Well, how can I help you, Red Lantern?"
"Was wondering? With how your holding up? With Roswaal?"
"...We...well…"
Ram lowered her eyes, glaring at the floor.
"He's been so preoccupied with his duties, I find myself hardly speaking with him."
"How long?"
"Two weeks."
"Oh dear. Really now? Ram-san should just make moves. On him."
"He wouldn't...see me in that way. Not as long as his obsession with that Witch stills his heart. Maybe if I tried earlier, something would have happened, but thanks to Natsuki Subaru, that chance may have been lost."
"Leaving darling aside. You should be, more aggressive."
Ram returned her glare to this lovely orange eyed woman.
"Like you did with Natsuki Subaru?"
"Heh."
She soon smiled, licking her lips.
"Why, yes."
"Hmph!"
"Come on. Subaru was so stressed out. After the fight in that city. He needed to relieve himself."
"Disgusting."
"No. No. I wanted it. He saved me from the hell of my life. I owed him."
She spread her arms wide, a twinkle in those bright orange eyes, and a pure light in her hair.
"He is someone, I respect. We all do! And in knowing his desires. I will undertake them. Even if he marries your sister. Or that half-elf girl. They'll know..."
Nijino grinned splendorous at an unnerved Ram.
"He chose me first. I know what he likes. Deep down. Ahhhh, I worry, you know."
She rubbed her belly.
"What would happen? If I had a child with him? I'd be his first wife, wouldn't I?"
"FIRST?"
"Well. I personally mind if he married. All three of us. Or seven. OR TWELVE. But I would be excited by it. If he...got me pregnant. All my other, children. Were kicked out of me. Still have the bruises."
"...I understand that you went through a lot. But please don't drag my sister, into your audaciously perverted schemes."
"This isn't perversion. IT'S PURE."
Ram looked away, only for her to be touched on her cheek by Nijino's palm.
"If Roswaal is not enough. I can see if Subaru, would-"
She slapped her hand away.
"AS IF I WOULD GET THAT CLOSE, WITH THAT MONSTER!"
"...He is a man. I can assert that."
"TSK. Filthy."
Nijino giggled softly as she patted Ram on the head.
"Well, good luck Ram-san. While you chase your love into a dead end. I'm already three steps ahead of those girls. Even he chooses to sleep with one of them. They'll always know…"
She walked past Ram, a red streak fluttering around her pristine orange eyes.
"I WAS HIS FIRST."
Ram leaned her back on a wall.
"Have to get through this."
Breathing a slight whisper, she brushed her hair. Gazing out the window…
"One more year, and we can say goodbye to these freaks. And maybe...just maybe...I can save my sister."
Subaru found himself in the Comfort Eagle library, which now had a bar counter and utensils, mainly in case someone cared for a quick cocktail. And with Ovidius writing a recipe book for over fifty different cocktails, referred to as "The Guide of Liquid Gold", it was a hit.
Now, Subaru sat on a couch that was set up there, as Ovidius and Beatrice sat on their own chairs across from him.
"What's up then, if you've got something to say then say it."
"...What happened out there?"
"Nothing, just stress."
"Stress? Looked more like a mental breakdown. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Beatrice gripped her dress.
"Liar, I suppose."
"Beatrice, please."
"No Subaru, this can't be overlooked! Every night Betty can hear you, see you. You cry our names, every night and claw into your skin, I suppose."
"...I…"
"You put on such a proud bravado when you came back from Priestella, but just a week after, it all began, I suppose. Tell us the truth...you feel guilty."
"What...how can, that even, be…"
Subaru hung his head low, as Ovidius crossed his arms.
"To tell you the truth Natsuki-san, even I was quietly, disturbed. We were all so enthralled by the thrill of battle and the rage fueling our bodies, we didn't think clearly. That mistake, costed sixty thousand people their lives."
"...Hm…"
"Not to mention that extra one thousand and twelve people that had gone missing. Most likely swept away and down the Great Waterfall, what a mess."
"Maybe there is guilt in me, about how far we went. I don't exactly regret going that far in killing those bastards, but we did disregard those innocent civilians, that were trying to get out of the way."
"It was a one in a million chance. Having that many Sin Archbishops there, in one place, we had to take the chance. Hell, we still haven't found Capella yet."
Subaru scratched his hair, of which he glanced over. With Beatrice in his vision, it once again became staticy, and he saw his hand reaching out for her, a great blaze engulfing the library.
He shook his head, but it was the sign Beatrice needed.
"It's happening again, isn't it?!"
"No, it's-"
"-You're seeing those visions again, I suppose! The same as in the Trials! All those other worlds, where things went differently, I suppose! Tell the truth!"
"Stop it."
"Subaru, Betty loves you so much, but she can't help you if you don't talk!"
"No...I-!"
"-PLEASE JUST TELL US!"
"I'M SCARED!"
He punched his knees, yelling at the top of his lungs.
"I've had to see all these worlds! Where I fucking failed miserably, got everyone killed, or worse! Having to see Reinhard kill Puck, Ram choking me to death or Emilia going crazy, the entire region ablaze! I've had to watch myself burn down the entire country, kill Wilhelm in a robbery, or just kidnap Emilia and Rem from their home! And everytime, I stare at someone, it flashes in my mind!"
Subaru began to sniffle and weep, as Beatrice got out of her seat. She touched his shoulder…
"Like that day, when you woke up earlier than normal, I suppose?"
"Ah!"
"You went to visit Rem in her room, surprise her. But when you saw her lay in bed, asleep, you screamed and cried. You woke everyone up, and we came to see you hugging Rem, pleading for her to wake up, I suppose."
"...There's a world, where apparently she's in a coma, and she can't wake up."
Subaru said this mumbling, and tear filled.
"Natsuki-san…"
"I'm scared of what's happening to me. The feeling of power flowing through my body is so great, right?"
"Sure."
"But I've lost something, so very important. So very important!"
"...Natsuki-san."
Ovidius leaned in closer, the glass in his goggles, illuminating.
"You've lost the ability to love, haven't you?"
"...Yes."
"I know, we've all noticed it. Nijino is merely lusting after you, Wilhelm goes to see his wife's grave as emotional support and Frederica feels not a shred of romantic expressions for any man. Even my relationship with Liliana...it's all physical."
"...Yeah…"
"Now my memories of my family are no longer filled with warmth and comfort, only regret and anger. These rings are a gift, and a curse, it would seem."
He started lifting his hand and staring ominously at his own ring.
Subaru sprang out of his seat.
"How can it be like this!? I did all of this, just for Emilia! I had feelings for her! I wanted to be her strength!"
"You are now."
"BUT AT WHAT COST! Everyday I want to look her in the eyes and say...I lo-"
A quarter of an inch. That is how much Subaru's ring slid, trying to get off his finger. Panicking, he forced it back with all his strength, which worked.
"Oh god, what's the point?!"
"Natsuki-san, we have a duty to make things right using our rage."
"But this rage is dulling our souls!"
"As it had, the moment we put these rings on."
"Fuck! I just...I want to keep the ring on, just to keep Emilia and Rem safe!"
"I understand Emilia...but what is it about Rem? You always get more panicky and stressed when it comes to Rem."
"Auh!"
"What happened?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? Don't lie to me, something happened. Rem was with you when you received the ring. You know something, sometimes she's come to me, crying, saying that it's her fault you're like this."
"NO! It would never be her fault!"
"Than tell us dammit! What happened?!"
"You know what happened! The Witch's Cult attacked and killed everyone!"
"Even so, something like that wouldn't truly depict such rage! It involves Rem! What did they do to her?!"
"NOTHING!"
"DON'T LIE! ANSWER US!"
Subaru, finally snapped, tears flooding down his face.
"THEY RAPED HER!"
The whole library fell silent.
Beatrice and Ovidius went to completely silent shock.
"Oh dear god."
Ovidius could only say that.
"I had to watch! They chained me up and I watched EVERY SINGLE SECOND! All the laughing, her crying, pleading, her eyes looking at me...MAKING SURE I WAS OKAY! OH FUCK!"
He held his head, crying.
"They used her, she couldn't fight back. She went crazy, her mind broke. She kept calling my name, saying how much she-...she- and then they broke her neck. Even then she used her last breath to free me, making sure I was okay. I was okay. I was okay. FUCK!"
He slammed his fist to the ground, falling to his knees.
"Out of everything I've had to endure, out of the countless hundreds of worlds, I suffered most that day! Because I was so powerless, so weak! Even then...Even then...I wanted to die, over and over again!"
Silence.
"Rem is such a fighter, so strong and brave. But her hands are so soft, fragile. She's so small and adorable. She's done nothing but please and worry over me! I want to keep her safe, as much as I do with Emilia! I don't! I don't!"
Silence.
But both gasped, as Subaru raised his face, tears flooding out of his eyes and his face plastered with an expression of fear and pain.
"I DON'T WANT REM TO KNOW! I DON'T REM TO FIGHT! I DON'T WANT REM TO DIE!"
He then crawled over to both Ovidius and Beatrice, startling them.
"Please don't tell Rem!"
He grabbed their legs, but without any real strength to his grip.
"Please don't tell her! Not her! PLEASE! PLEASE! I WANT HER HAPPY! I WANT HER SAFE!"
Sheer terror and sadness.
"I DON't WANT TO LOSE HER AGAIN!"
Beatrice went down to hug him, and Ovidius patted his shoulder.
"Natsuki-san, let it out. It'll help."
"Uw, uw, UWAAAAGGHHHHHH!"
Subaru cried and cried, letting out a plethora of pain and anguish that he was forced to suffer through, by the power of Return by Death.
But with his power gone, the scars it left behind, were not so easily healed.
"..."
On the other side of that closed door, Rem was standing by. She made no sound, not a single shred of emotion. Standing by her, was Genau.
"Genau."
"Hm?"
"What should Rem do? Rem, feels so sad and Rem has never felt this empty and in pain before. What should she do?"
"...I'm not asssss ssssmart asssss the othersss. I can't tell you outright, even after learning what you did, what can be done about it. What we can do issss keep this a sssssecret, and not tell anyone elsssse about it."
"I know."
Genau began strutting away.
"I'm going to fly with Mimi, esssscort her back home."
"Okay…"
But before he floated away, he turned his head, his red eyes meeting with Rem's bright blue ones.
"Do what will help, both you and Brohter Sssssubaru."
"..."
"That'sss all I can sssay."
He flew away, leaving Rem there, listening to Subaru's loud crying. She stared out the window, watching as the sun was beginning to set.
Emilia sat at her desk, just as Frederica entered.
"Emilia-san, how are you?"
"Good, a little busy, but good. How are you?"
"Fine...though…"
"It's about, um, Gusteko right?"
"Yes, we've received several angry letters from their nobles about our search and destroy missions in their territories, killing off slave traders and the like.
Emilia tapped the table.
"Not only that, I have some here from Kararagi and Vollachia, too. Ovidius and Subaru do conduct a lot of their experiments near their borders, and they are suuuper not happy about it."
"I'm a little concerned that we might have issues with them in the future."
"I hope not, but if we do…"
Emilia put on a brave face.
"As the future king, I hope to bring the world together, in a kind of a harmony. Or…"
She then pondered, innocently like a child.
"What did Ovidius coin it as?"
"Utopia. A utopia, Emilia-san."
"Oh yeah, that! That would be lovely though. A place where everyone can be equal with one another, without prejudice and disdain for others."
"If you grasp at that dream enough, I'm sure something will come of it."
Emilia nodded happily, but she stared out the window, forcing the blushing silver haired beauty to ask.
"And Subaru?"
"Subaru-sama? He's in a meeting with Beatrice-dono and Ovidius-dono."
"...We haven't really talked in a few days."
"Things have been restless?"
"Well, ever since Puck argued with him, I think he's scared of seeing me."
Frederica sighed, trying to hold back a chuckle.
"No need to think that. Emilia-san, Subaru holds you in high regards, he constantly asks one of us to make sure you're doing well, especially when he's not around."
Emilia did like the thought.
But it also made her remember what happened...Days ago, Subaru came to speak with Emilia.
She instantly noticed he was exhausted, and most likely sleep deprived, so she offered him a lap pillow. He meekly accepted and they were in her room, for a few minutes, Emilia brushing his hair and sadly noticing the tiny strands of white hair on his head. She could tell he was stressed.
So she spoke sweet pleasantries to him, humming a gentle tone, and that's when Subaru started giving small pecks to her legs. She giggled, saying it tickled; only for Subaru to escalate and she found herself affectionately pinned to the ground.
Before she could mutter his name, he began kissing her, startling her...but soon she hugged him around his neck.
After Subaru snapped out of it, she excitedly began asking what their child's name would be; making Subaru find out that Puck misinformed her about how babies were made. He sighed and created a white lie, claiming Puck knew 'OLD' ways that babies were made, and not current ones.
Emilia accepted this...but before Subaru took her hand and led her to the dining room-
"The name Yusuke for a boy is good, and if it's a girl, maybe Inori or Rie, right?"
A quick wink and Emilia nodded, turning her face bright red.
It was the next day, Puck angrily got in a verbal fight with Subaru. Genau was ready to pounce on the Great Spirit, but luckily it was Emilia and Frederica that deescalated the situation. Puck and Subaru shook on it and Emilia told them both to have some space, for awhile.
"They're good friends, I know it...but things are so weird, after everything we learned."
"Well, if I can speak my mind. I'd say that both are hot headed when it comes to you, but rest assured they'd both put their differences aside to defend you."
It took a moment, but Emilia smiled gleefully at hearing that.
"Yeah, no doubt."
"The day's about to end, get some rest soon. Tomorrow, talk with Puck-sama and Subaru-sama, get them to understand, I'm sure it'll work out."
Emilia nodded as she went back to speed read her documents, Frederica began walking out-
"Hey Fredrica."
"Hm?"
Frederica was then surprised, by a beaming bright smile, just for her.
"Thank you."
"...You're welcome."
Frederica walked out, closing the door behind her. She let out a sigh, with blood floating out of her mouth.
"I should be thanking you all. You've given me a home, a family, a life. I will defend you."
She then stared out one the hallway windows, the sun beginning to set, a dull face, with a red glimmer in her eyes.
"No matter who they are."
It was nighttime and Subaru sat at the edge of his bed.
He sighed, seeing the empty space on his bed. Usually, Subaru would allow Beatrice to sleep next to him and Genau around his feet area, but this time, he asked to be left alone for the night. Like that, both understood and gave him his wish.
He took some time to close his eyes.
Yet the static returned, and a large muscular man, in what appears to be a recognizable superhero costume, beckoned him from the hallway.
"Subaru, can you come with me?"
Subaru shook his head, opening his eyes, he was still in his room.
"Fuck, I need to get this under control."
"How do I expect a prideless man such as yourself to fix this?"
"God...as if I didn't have enough of a stressful day already."
He set his sight across from him, on a chair, sitting there, was Julius Juukulius, in his uniform, arms crossed..
"Your nasty eyes are glaring at me."
"Sorry, but it's an automatic response, seeing your stupid ass."
"Vulgar to no end, aren't you?"
"The living get to do as they please, don't they?"
"Just so the dead like us can shake in our graves?"
"Like I care what you have to say."
"And what about the others? How long can you keep acting like this before you plunge Emilia-sama and the others into disaster?"
"Oh shut it, I have my Corps with me, we'll handle anything."
"Are you truly that insane with rage, or just plain naive? You've seen the warnings, heard the whispers and felt the air, right? The other Kingdoms are beginning to lose their patience with you and your red demons."
"I don't give a crap about them, they're just a bunch of imbeciles, through and through. Whining about stupid bull."
"And if this sparks into something?"
His eyes finally narrowing in anger.
"For example if one of your friends is killed in this escalation? What then, Natsuki Subaru?"
Subaru jumped out of his bed and glared viciously at him, but before he could even yell back, he heard two soft knocks on the door.
"Huh?"
When he turned to see the door, he instinctively turned back...seeing that no one was sitting there.
The chair looked empty, with only dust on it.
Subaru clicked his tongue and went straight to the door.
Opening it, he was shocked who was there.
"R-Rem?"
"Hello Subaru-kun."
In her nightgown, the same one he has seen in several of his loops, he trembled, but Rem touched his chest.
"Please, may Rem come in?"
"S-Sure."
He let her in, closing the door behind him. Out in the halls, Nijino tapped her foot and licked her lips.
"Aw, Subaru...you are such a kind man."
She flew away, smiling…
The two of them sat there, for almost a minute in silence. Yet it was when Rem scooted closer to him, shoulders touching, that he spoke.
"Rem? Is something the matter?"
"There is, you see, Rem is scared."
"O-Of what? Tell me, and I'll make sure it never-"
"-Rem is scared for you Subaru-kun."
Subaru was stunned, as Rem looked up into his eyes.
"Subaru-kun, Rem is worried about the weight of your pain."
"Pain?"
"About what you saw, because of Return by Death."
"Oh, well, you know I can-"
"-And what you saw, the day I died."
Quiet, panic filled silence filled the room, but before Subaru could do anything, Rem rested her head on his shoulder.
"No one told Rem, Rem overheard your conversation with Beatrice-sama and Ovidius-sama."
"Rem, you didn't need to know."
"Rem has every right to know!"
Tackling him down, and pinning him on the bed, he was stunned by her tear filled eyes.
"It's Rem's fault you had to become a Red Lantern!"
"That's not true."
"Rem wasn't strong enough to protect Subaru-kun, so God punished her and let that Rem get punished."
"THAT'S BULL!"
He flung her around, now she was pinned on the bed. And she was also surprised by his teary eyed expression.
"You deserve not a shred of punishment, you are too good for that! Too pure!"
"Subaru-kun…"
"Rem, you are so important to me. Even with Emilia, a world without you, I would suffer through! You have no idea! How much you mean to me…"
"..Subaru-kun."
"Just like Emilia, I lo-"
The ring stung him, making him cease his sentence further.
Yet with his pained face, Rem smiled and used both her hands to cup his cheeks.
"Rem understands, she really does. Rem also knows you have your heart set on Emilia-sama and you've, given your purity to Nijino-sama."
"You knew?"
"Yes, but it doesn't matter."
"Why? I know you love me, but why?"
Rem leaned her head up and gave a quick innocent kiss to Subaru's lips.
"You're my hero Subaru-kun."
"No...I-"
"-You saved me so many times, my sister, Emilia-sama, the entire village and so much more. You avenged my family and put an end to the Cult. You are my greatest hero."
"Rem, I...I…"
She then moved her hands to her chest, feeling the beating of his heart race up.
"Subaru-kun, no matter what, I will take a piece of your burden. I want to be apart of your life."
"Rem…"
His eyes lost their light, focusing on the face of this woman, who was giving her all to him.
"Rem will take everything, everything, you have to offer."
"Ahhhh…"
"All of this...for my hero."
Subaru grabbed her nightgown, and Rem smiled vividly.
"I love you."
SHHHHRRRRRIP!
Subaru ripped off her nightgown, that tearing noise echoed throughout the dark halls.
Subaru opened his eyes, he was naked, covered in his blankets.
"Mmmh...Subaru…"
And right there was Rem, without any clothes on, hugging tightly to his back, fast asleep.
Yet, Subaru stared at that chair, seeing Julius, with his legs crossed, glaring at him. Subaru frowned as he whispered to him.
"If you're fake, go away. If you're real, just go back to hell."
Subaru turned himself around and hugged Rem. He stared, the misty night air was there.
Yet…
Staring out his bedroom window, the sun began to rise.
TO BE CONTINUED...
AN: Ending Song for this Arc would be "Influencer" by Nogizaka46.
Images of all the character in black and white, their eyes changed to red as they stare out a giant wave of blood approaching, only for it to stop right in front of Subaru who swallows it all and raises his fist, shinning the entire world in red light. Ending as it zooms into Subaru's tear filled eye and shows the symbol of the Red Lantern Corps.
Until next chapter...and the beginning of the next Arc.