A/N: Welcome to my decent to madness. Chuck and Sarah…raising a thirty month old….heaven help us all. Thank you to Joe Watkins and Grace for some of the ideas that spurred this insanity along.

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, and my sanity is questionable by this point.

It was quite…too quiet. Sarah had gone out to run an errand earlier, and when she returned she said she was going to take a shower. Molly had come through the living room, headed into the spare room, and came back a few minutes later, smiling. She had begun to drag stuff through the house to the spare room. A little bit later, Sarah came out of the bathroom, dressed in different clothes than earlier. She had headed the same direction as Molly, and Chuck had heard them talking in low voices.

That had been a half hour ago. Chuck was now sitting on the couch watching TV, Sarah was still in the other room, and Molly was continuing to drag things across the living room, into the room Sarah was in.

Chuck had started to ask a few times what was going on, but he stayed silent, just watching….thinking. "Should I ask?" he muttered to himself. He knew Sarah wasn't the typical parent, hell, he wasn't the typical parent, but their family worked, so who was he to say something was wrong.

However, in the last half an hour he had seen Molly drag/carry Drain cleaner, a package of pork chops, Oreos, and a can of cheese into the spare room. She dragged her small table through the living room, and when Chuck had started to get up to help her, she had glared at him. He knew…at least as far as he knew, Molly wasn't Sarah's biological child, but that glare…

He went back to watching TV when Molly appeared again, dragging a bag of tools…those were the tools Sarah used to get information out of someone. The bag was closed, and she was taking it to Sarah, so that was okay, Chuck mused. "Don't open that without your mother's okay," Chuck told Molly.

"Okay, Dada," Molly said, nodding sagely to Chuck. She went back through the living room and a minute later he heard the sound of something heavy being dragged. He looked back to the doorway and Molly was dragging a bag of dry cement.

"Don't let that get wet, or pour any liquids into it," Chuck told her. "Do you need help?"

"I got it," Molly told him, huffing and grunting, dragging the bag.

"What in the hell are they doing?" Chuck asked himself.

A few minutes later she came back through the living room and Chuck wondered what was coming next. She came through carrying jumper cables. Chuck blinked. He swore he then heard a whimper coming from the room that was not Sarah's or Molly's. Before he could say anything, Molly came back through, skipping, not a care in the world or having seemingly any concerns.

She came back through holding a spatula, and grilling tongs that you cook hot dogs with. Chuck had had enough. "Molly!" he yelled. She stopped and turned toward him, wide-eyed. "You do not carry those tongs, pointed ends up. You could get hurt that way." Molly nodded, turned the tongs over, and looked back at Chuck. "Good job! If you carry them the other way you could put an eye out."

She looked down at the pointed end. "Wouldn't want to put the wrong person's eye out," she said, with a nod. She took off toward the other room. What the hell was going on?

Molly came back through from the spare room, and Chuck wondered what was next. It was a few minutes later he heard a lot of noise. He braced himself, looked back, and she was dragging her Barbie doll castle down the hallway. Chuck shook his head and went back to his show.

She came back through and this time she returned with a bag of frozen peas. Chuck blinked, shook his head, and decided to stay out of it. But what happened next had him absolutely perplexed. Molly dragged the bumper off an old car through the living room. Molly didn't come back after a few minutes and Chuck's curiosity had finally gotten the better of him.

"Babe?" he called out. "You need any help in there?"

"Nope," she replied sweetly. "We're just having a tea party"

"A tea party?" he muttered to himself. "Who the hell has a tea party with jumper cables, a bag of cement, and a car bumper?" He shook his head but what he heard next made him think it wasn't just a simple tea party.

"PINKIES OUT!" he heard Molly bellow. Chuck knew she wasn't saying that to Sarah. He leapt off the couch, raced to the room, and stood in the doorway, frozen in shock.

Sarah and Molly both had tiaras on, and Molly was in a lacy princess dress. Random lace and glitter was all over Sarah, who seemed as happy as can be. What had Chuck stunned was the balding man, duck taped to a chair, a tiara on his head, half falling off, lace placed haphazardly all over him, and the complete look of terror on his face.

"Help me," he pleaded.

"YOU DON'T TALK UNTIL YOUR SPOKEN TO BUD!" Molly yelled.

"And how did you meet, Bud?" Chuck asked, looking at Sarah.

"I came in here, and Mommy had brought him home for me to have a tea party with!" Molly said excitedly. Chuck gave Sarah a look.

"Bud," Sarah said. "I'm going over there to talk to Chuck. If you do one think to Molly, I am going to use that dry cement and bumper from the car on you, do you understand?" The man tied up that Chuck could only assume was Bud, swallowed thickly and nodded.

Sarah got up and went over to Chuck. She nodded for him to follow her and they stepped outside, where both could watch Bud.

"I was running my errand, saw Frank," she paused. "Apparently Molly thinks he is Bud," she explained. Anyway, he's one of Diego's lieutenants, caught him, and brought him back here. I wasn't thinking, Chuck, I'm sorry," Sarah said

"It's okay, but we have to start thinking about Molly," Chuck said gently. Sarah nodded.

"I know," Sarah told him. "I've tried to keep her out of it the best I could."

"Okay, so what happened?"

"I came out of the shower, came in here, and Molly had found him, "Sarah began. "She thought I had brought him here for a tea party. So I told her to bring everything we needed for a tea party. Apparently Frank thought Tea Party was code for torture, so I had Molly bring in random things."

"So you have no real plans for the bumper?" Chuck asked her.

"Oh, no," Sarah replied. "But he doesn't know that."

"You can't kill him in front of Molly, Sarah," Chuck told her gently.

"I know, as soon as I get the info out of him, I'm having Graham's guys pick him up," Sarah told him. Chuck leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "What was that for?"

"Cause you're adorable when you pout and can't kill someone," he said gently. She glared at him and he shrugged. "It's true." He glanced into the room. "Molly!" he called. She came to the door. "Do you know where my electric tooth brush is?" Sarah gave him a look. "It's for the….Tea Party."

"I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING!" Frank yelled. Sarah kissed Chuck.

"Aww, Mama and Dada love each other," Molly said, throwing her arms around their legs. Chuck reached down and rubbed her head, loving his crazy family. Some might even say psychotic. But they were his psychos.

A/N: If you're a newer reader and don't understand some of the reviews, back when the show was on the air, Wepdiggy had a selection of one-shots called the Adorable Psycho. Many other authors have written one-shots based off of those. This isn't exactly that, but it's kinda the same insanity. Hope you enjoyed, stay safe. DC.