A/N: I might need help. No betas were harmed…unless they were clowns….

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

"Would someone like to explain…this?" Graham asked. He sat there, looking at the four faces looking back at him.

"I don't like clowns," Molly told him. Graham closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You got to admit, they are a little strange, sir," Chuck pointed out.

"How did this all start?" Graham asked, rubbing his forehead, not even looking at the four.

"Well, we were at the circus," Chuck began.

"No, sweetie, that's not right," Mary cut in. "It all started out when Sarah decided she wanted a bullet-proof dress."

"A bullet-proof dress?" Graham asked, and then clamped his mouth shut, knowing he had just messed up.

"Do you know where I find them?" Sarah asked him. "I tried to Google it, and then I went on Etsy."

"Etsy?" Graham asked, knowing he shouldn't have asked, but he did.

"Etsy is an American e-commerce website focused on handmade or vintage items and craft supplies. These items fall under a wide range of categories, including jewelry, bags, clothing, home décor and furniture, toys, art, as well as craft supplies and tools. All vintage items must be at least 20 years old," Chuck told Graham. "At least that's what the website says."

"I KNOW what Etsy is Chuck, what I want to know is why in the hell Etsy is invoved with the clown carnage!" Graham roared.

"Shhh," Molly shushed him. Graham started to speak but got glares from the other three adults.

"I ordered the bullet-proof dress off of Etsy, but it turned out that it was not functional, or bullet-proof," Sarah told Graham. "Chuck and I tested the dress extensively, and it didn't last two minutes."

"Dare I ask how?" Graham muttered to himself.

"Typical M-2 Browning heavy machine gun," Chuck told him.

"WHERE IN THE HELL DID…" Graham trailed off. "You know what, I don't want to know. Okay, so the dress didn't work."

"Well, I told Sarah she needed to get a refund," Mary told Graham. "Etsy is very reputable. The last thing they need is some fly-by-night ruining their reputation."

"I take it you didn't get the refund?" Graham asked, starting to see where this was going.

"How'd you know?" Sarah asked him. "Anyway, after we tried and tried, Chuck was able to find the seller on the Internet. He's very good at that." Chuck blushed a little at the compliment.

"He's a world-class hacker, Sarah, I am aware," Graham reminded her.

"And he's really good," Sarah continued. Graham blew out a breath. "Chuck located the seller at the circus."

"Oh, God," Graham groused.

"But here's the important part," Sarah said leaning in. "We knew who the seller was."

"Diego?" Graham asked, knowing where so many of these stories went.

"No," Sarah replied, like Graham was the village idiot. "Jerry, Diego's cousin."

"My bad," Graham told her.

"But, what's more, Jerry had decided that he was tired of being a clown, and had gotten his own gang to go rob banks. As clowns. Like that bad guy off of the Bat-Dude movies."

"Bat…Dude?" Graham asked. Chuck looked physically pained.

"You mean BatMan, honey?" Chuck asked.

"No, that guy, Bryce Wayne," Sarah said.

"Bruce?" Chuck offered.

"No," Sarah said shaking her head. "Anyway, his villain, Clown Guy."

"Do you mean the Joker?" Chuck said, pain in his voice.

"No, Clown Guy!" Sarah insisted. "Anyway, he had his own clown army."

"And that's why you killed all the clowns?" Graham asked Sarah.

"No," Sarah replied. "Molly told you, she doesn't like clowns."

"And they saw us and started shooting at us," Chuck added quickly. Sarah gave him a look. "They did."

"I mean, I guess," Sarah replied. "Anyway, the important thing is I got my refund, Jerry is dead, AND we might have a lead on Diego."

"Agent Walker," Graham began.

"Mama! Gotta potty!" Molly said. Graham shook his head as Molly, Sarah, and Mary all left the office, just leaving Chuck and Graham there by themselves.

"Bartowski, where the hell did you get the M2?" Graham asked.

Chuck sat there a second. "Do you really want to know?" Chuck asked. Graham shook his head. "Can you help us get a bulletproof dress for Sarah?"

"Maybe," Graham told him. "Any specifications?"

"Yes," Chuck said, sitting up. "It needs to be red, or salmon," he began.

Graham held up his hand, stopping Chuck. "I am pretty sure I know exactly what dress you want." Graham leaned back in his chair. "She really didn't just kill those clowns because they scared Molly, did she?"

"No," Chuck said, chuckling and shaking his head. "I mean, she wanted to, but she didn't, she's working on that. But once they started shooting…well, it was all over at that point."

"Bartowski…the fireworks?"

"I mean, a stray bullet must have hit one, starting a chain reaction," Chuck said.

"A witness said after the shootings had stopped, a, and I quote, blond female, tall, went over to the fireworks tent, with a small child on her hip, and fired into the tent, setting off the fireworks." Graham looked at Chuck over the top of the file.

"Sir," Chuck began. "This is where you have a choice."

"Me?" Graham asked.

"Yes, you," Chuck told him. "You know who she is, you know who I am, so are you going to put me on the spot, to make up some asinine story, or are you gonna look the other way like you always do?"

"Long day?" Graham asked. Chuck nodded. "Not your best work story wise."

"Sir, I have a wife, a daughter, and my mother around constantly now, I am tired," Chuck admitted.

"Dismissed, agent," Graham told him. He watched Chuck walk out the door, turned to his computer and hit play on the video footage of what happened earlier that day. "Clowns are damn creepy," he agreed, watching Sarah shoot one.

A/N: BatDude and Clown Guy…I figured I just destroyed some comic book nerds hearts…..