Hannah had Quiddich practice today, which Neville accompanied her to, so I had the afternoon to myself.

As I had planned, I headed for the Room of Requirement with my old music book under my arm.

The door appeared in front of me and I pushed the handle down.

Behind it stretched my grandparents' living room, just like the first time I had come here alone.

I hadn't even explicitly thought of this place but it had a piano and so it was exactly what I needed.

Besides, there was no better place for me to start playing the piano again than at home.

Where I had spent so many hours at this instrument.

I sat down and let my fingers glide over the wood.

It was as if I were really at home, every single notch in the wood was like the original.

I flipped up the lid, put down my music book and then just stared at the black and white keys while my hands trembled over them for a moment.

I can do this and I want this.

I can do this and I want this.

I chanted my mantra over and over in my head until I gently lowered a thumb to the cold keys.

The sound filled me completely. Goosebumps spread over my whole body and made me shiver.

I closed my eyes and automatically my fingers found their position.

I hadn't played it for a long time, but it was so ingrained in me that I didn't even have to think about what I was doing.

The lullaby that Mom used to sing to me filled the room.

It wasn't flawless but it was a start.

A joy at the lovely sounds of the instrument flooded through me and literally electrified me.

I played the same melody over and over again, the mistakes disappearing after a few tries, as did my fear.

I was no longer afraid of it.

This was me.

The sounds were like words I didn't dare say for fear of not being worthy of them.

I was allowed to be happy again. Sadness would no longer guide me, this melody would do that.

And I had created it, made it sound with my own fingers.

And at that moment I realised it.

I could make myself happy. I just had to want to.

And I wanted nothing more than to be happy.

I spent the whole afternoon at the piano.

At some point I started playing pieces from the music book, although they didn't come as easily to me as the lullaby.

But that was okay, I had a month to practise and by then I could play all these pieces by heart.

The question I asked myself as I strolled into the Great Hall for dinner was which song to play at the memorial service.

There were so many beautiful songs that would fit but somehow none felt right.

I'd just ask Hannah and Neville in a minute.

The two of them sat down opposite me and before I could even ask my question, Hannah took over.

"May I see the ring?"

I moved my hand to the middle of the table where Hannah took it and admired the ring.

"It's really really pretty."

"It was my mom's."

They both nodded.

"Now I'm sure everyone thinks you're engaged", Hannah laughed.

"I think to be engaged you'd need a boyfriend first and since I'm lacking in that respect and it's not secret either, I don't think anyone will think I'm engaged."

We were interrupted by Neville's friend Seamus who literally forced Neville to come with him as they had something important to discuss.

Reluctantly, he followed him and left me alone with his friend.

Again, Hannah did not allow me to ask my question. She leaned over the table a little more and whispered to me.

"Just so you know, I think you and Malfoy would make a lovely couple and Neville would get used to it."

"Draco and I are not a couple!"

Unfortunately, I didn't manage to whisper and so there was a chance that the girls next to us had understood everything.

I quickly slapped my hands over my mouth to keep from shouting out more.

"I know, I know. I'm just saying."

And with that, she leaned back again and grinned mischievously at me.

She was killing me.

How could a person be so incredibly exhausting?

That she had just given her blessing to my feelings for Draco was something I wasn't even aware of.

Now, finally, I managed to ask my question. "I told you I was going to play the piano at the memorial service. I just don't know what to play. Help?", I asked sheepishly, playing with a strand of hair that had fallen out of my bun.

My counterpart propped her head on her hands and thought.

"This is really hard. Let me think about it today and tomorrow you'll get a list of ideas from me."

"That's really super sweet of you. Thank you."

Neville's absence was nothing that stopped us talking for a long time. We had become good friends and she just happened to be my best friend's girlfriend.

He didn't join us again during dinner, so I made it my business to take Hannah back to the Hufflepuff common room.

That this had been a mistake and that I would regret it was clear to me as soon as we stood in front of the door.

Tonight seemed to be another one of those girls' nights, for the whole group was waiting outside the door, engrossed in what seemed to be a very amusing conversation.

"Daisy!", Luna greeted me in a friendly manner and the others also waved at me.

"You really could have given me a heads up. Two evenings in a row among lots of people is too much for me", I whispered to Hannah.

"You don't have to stay long."

And with that, she pulled me behind her and I had no choice but to surrender to my fate.

This time, instead of sitting in the common room, we sat on the beds in the seventh grade dormitory.

It was really cosy, but I would much rather be in my own room.

I just didn't understand what Hannah was hoping to achieve. All I wanted to do was sit in my room and rack my brains over which song I wanted to play at the memorial service.

I was immediately aware that the moment Ginny opened her mouth, a huge problem was rolling towards me.

"We really need to play Truth or Dare again!", she shouted gleefully and the others joined in.

No way, I wouldn't play truth or dare here.

This has gone too far, way too far.

I had been prepared to tell Hannah, Neville and Draco the truth but certainly not these girls here.

I barely knew them and I was sure that if they knew, it wouldn't be long and the whole school would know.

No, I would go. Now.

I stood up but Hannah pulled me straight back onto the bed by the arm. I shook my head vigorously.

"I'm not going to play along with this. I was fine with hairstyles but not with this. That's entirely my business what I tell who and if I do I'm certainly not telling because of some stupid game", I whispered to her angrily.

"You can also just take dare," she tried to reassure me.

"Why do you want me to be there so badly?"

"I just like having my friends all together and you're one of them.

I'm sorry I really didn't want to force you. You can go if you want, I can understand why you don't want to play along."

She looked genuinely concerned.

"Okay, but just one round."

I was soft, way too soft.

She beamed as I agreed and the game could begin.

The others had been talking strained meanwhile, so I was sure they hadn't noticed how little I wanted to play their stupid game.

I just put on a smile and hoped for the best.

Now everyone had gathered on a bed. In the middle of us was a ball which randomly chose one of our names.

It was like spinning bottles, only without the bottle and the annoying spinning.

Not that I had much experience with it, but the idea of the discussions when the bottle wasn't pointing directly at someone was vivid and not very fun.

This ball was much more pleasant and easier.

For a long time I was lucky, the ball spared me and I could sit back and find out things about the others.

I found out that Cho had always wanted blue streaks in her hair but was too shy until now and Luna had apparently been walking around with a yellow eyebrow at times.

The dare tasks were also funny, with Pansy being forced to have someone paint a moustache on her, which she was still sulking about.

Not because she didn't want to be painted, but because she thought a full beard would have looked much better on her.

But my luck didn't last forever.

At some point, when I had long forgotten that I didn't wanted to stay that long, the ball showed my name.

OK, I'll just take dare, it won't be so bad.

I had a bit of luck after all, because Hannah had been on before me and so she was also the one who had to decide on my dare.

"Dare", I said in as firm a voice as I could muster, while everyone looked at me eagerly.

She was gracious with me and although I had hated her for dragging me here, I was very grateful for the task she was now giving me.

"You must let me braid your hair."

The others in the group were apparently not as excited as I was about this task.

"Seriously Han? This is boring as hell", Ginny complained loudly.

"She's playing this for the first time. There's a bit of a grace period called for."

I love my grace period.

And so now I sat in front of Hannah who was braiding my hair, watching intently as the game continued.

"Truth", Hannah said behind me, still busy with my hair, as the ball showed her name.

"Have you slept with Neville yet?"

I choked on my own spit and began to cough.

The others seemed to find this incredibly funny but I just found it uncomfortable.

I didn't want to know if my friends were sleeping together. Yes I assumed they did or would but I didn't need confirmation of that.

It would put images in my head that I certainly didn't want there and wouldn't be able to get rid of any time soon.

When I had finally calmed down, Hannah spoke up. At least she seemed a little uncomfortable, but not as much as I was.

"No, we haven't. He's not ready yet."

Collective annoyed groans.

I, on the other hand, was relieved that I wouldn't have this image in my mind's eye forever as soon as I saw the two of them.

Then there was a brief philosophical discussion about when the right time was to sleep together and it was agreed that we couldn't agree.

The opinions ranged from 'it doesn't matter at all' to 'at the earliest after half a year'.

The game continued and I was getting really tired and just as I was about to get up and go to bed, the ball showed my name.

"Dare", I said more confidently this time, although it wasn't Hannah who had to decide my fate.

I was still putting a bit of stock in the grace period though, which apparently no longer applied.

Pansy was the one who was now grinning diabolically because she was the one who got to choose my task.

"I want you to sneak into the Slytherin rooms, then into Draco Malfoy's room and from there you're going to take something that's clearly his."

"No!", intervened Hannah directly but I held her back.

"It's okay. I guess grace period is over."

"But you can't..."

She didn't finish her sentence but I knew what she was getting at.

If it wasn't Draco I would have said no because I wouldn't steal anything but I could just ask Draco and I didn't see anything wrong with that.

"You can't be seen and if you can't then you'll have to kiss him at the next dance class."

I could almost feel the death stare Hannah was now giving Pansy on the back of my neck myself but this time she didn't jump in.

The others, on the other hand, thought the punishment was a bit much now.

"I hope you're not looking forward to that kiss too much, because it's not going to happen."

This was unfortunately the truth. Such a kiss would never happen. That's why I couldn't do that dare, because I couldn't kiss him.

It just wasn't possible, not when I tried not to want exactly that.

"What exactly do you want from his room?", I asked, turning to Pansy as I stood up.

"One of his Quiddich jerseys", was her quick reply and I wondered because it seemed like she hadn't even really had to think about it.

"But I'm sure he has them all in his locker."

"He doesn't. He's very particular about clothes. You'll find something there. Now go!"

And with that she more or less pushed me out the door.

When I had made sure that no one was approaching, I transformed.

A Hufflepuff on her way to the dungeons at a late hour was quite conspicuous. Besides, the mission was to remain undetected.

It was only when I was standing in front of the door to the common room that I noticed that Pansy hadn't told me the password.

That meant that if I came back successfully, it was clear that I knew the password to the Slytherin rooms.

And I would have to explain that then.

Nevertheless, I made my way through the well-frequented room. I would never have passed through here undetected if I weren't a cat.

And Pansy must have known that.

She really was a Slytherin through and through.

I changed back and positioned myself so that if anyone came around the corner, my face would remain undetected.

Luckily for me, Draco opened the door before anyone could get there and I squeezed past him into his room. He closed the door and then looked at me inquiringly.

"I'm curious about that explanation now."

He had his arms folded in front of his chest and only now did I notice that he was already in his pyjamas.

This silk thing was really ridiculous. It didn't even look comfortable. Why did he sleep in something like that?

I shouldn't complain. After all, I was the one who had turned up here unannounced so late.

The silk pyjamas were perhaps the best I could have found him in. Because a topless Draco would really not have been ideal in my mental state.

"I need one of your Quiddich jerseys," I blurted out.

"What?"

"A Quiddich jersey. I just want to borrow it. You'll get it back tomorrow, I promise."

I put on my best please-please face and looked at him with wide eyes.

"What for?"

"Pansy."

"Pansy?" His expression became even more confused, though I hadn't thought that was possible.

"You're going to tell me exactly what you want here and why, because if you don't I'm going to drag you to the hospital wing myself on suspicion of drug abuse.

The more abstruse your story, the faster I'll run.

So, what are you doing here?"

Somehow I could understand it. It had to be absolutely weird and if I didn't want to be dragged to the hospital wing I probably had to tell him everything.

"Hannah dragged me to a girls' night again. We're playing truth or dare. And my job is to come down here and get one of your jerseys.

All undetected, of course.

If I don't manage that, I'll have to kiss you at the next dance class."

He still looked confused although I had explained to him exactly what the problem was.

Hopefully he wasn't thinking about the quickest way to the hospital wing.

"So, can I borrow one of your jerseys?"

"A jersey? For Pansy? And otherwise you have to kiss me?" Erwar still visibly confused.

"Yes. And that's what I just told you. So do I get one? The alternative is the kiss and since I know you're not too keen on that, the jersey is the only option."

I braced my hands on my hips to give my statement a little more weight.

"I guess you're right", he muttered and walked over to his dresser from which he pulled out a green jersey.

"Here, I've got plenty of others."

He held the green bundle out to me and I grabbed it.

"But actually, you haven't done your dare."

I looked at him questioningly.

"You said undetected and quite obviously I saw you. I wouldn't make that count if I were Pansy."

"As long as you don't rat me out she won't know. And if you were so keen on a kiss you could have just said so."

I hadn't meant to say the second part of the sentence out loud but it was clearly too late for that now.

The only thing I could hope for now was that he would take it with humour.

"Maybe I'll come back to that", he replied with a smug grin.

Thank Merlin, he wasn't angry with me.

"I have to go then", I said, pulling his jersey over my head.

Questioningly, Draco looked at me.

"What for?"

"Like you said, I need to remain undetected and since I have my advantages in that regard, I'm going to use them."

"And for that you have to put on the jersey?"

"Everything on my body transforms with me. Thus also clothes.

Things that are only in my hand are more difficult. Sometimes it works but most of the time it doesn't, so putting it on or in pockets is the safest option."

Now, finally, he seemed to understand, for his puzzled expression faded.

"See you around," I said, and then I transformed in front of him.

It was the first time I had purposefully transformed in front of anyone, my family excluded.

It was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be but I didn't look back to see his reaction either.

He could have been standing there with his jaw dropped, I wouldn't have seen it.

He opened the door for me and I scurried out, hurried through the corridors and when I was sure again that no one saw me, I turned back.

I pulled the jersey back over my head and hung it over my arm as I walked back into the Hufflepuff rooms.

The girls sat on the bed and all looked at me eagerly as I came back into the room.

Triumphantly, I tossed the jersey to Pansy.

"Impressive", she murmured. "And no one saw you?", she asked louder now that she was sure it was indeed his jersey.

I shook my head.

"Nope, no one but if you don't trust me you can ask later but I promise you no one saw me."

The others clapped and cheered as I dropped back onto the bed.

We played for another hour or so before we got tired and me and the others headed to our rooms.

"Here's your trophy", Pansy said, pushing the jersey back into my hand before heading down to the basement.

She had that grin on her face again that actually meant she was up to something.

"You can give it back to him on Friday," she added with a wink and then descended the stairs.

I had to grin now too.

That would be really funny to give it back to him on Friday at the dance class.

When I got back to the apartement, Min was sitting in the living room, which surprised me.

I quickly hid my trophy behind my back, hoping she wouldn't ask any stupid questions.

She looked up from her book and raised her eyebrows.

"I was with Hannah on a girls' night", I quickly explained myself. She nodded and looked back down at her book.

Lucky.

I quickly scurried to my room and closed the door behind me.

It was late and I was tired so I got ready for bed.

I had just put on my sleep shirt when an idea came to me. I quickly took it off again and exchanged it for Draco's jersey.

It was far too big for me and almost reached my knees, but that didn't matter. It was his and it smelled like him, that was all that mattered.

It was stupid of me, I knew that myself, because you don't do things like that when you want to get over someone.

I wanted to, but I could start tomorrow, not tonight.

Tonight I just wanted to live in an illusion.

In the illusion that kissing him was within the realm of possibility.