Tuesday morning Callie strolled through the doors of Fresh Start carrying her leather messenger bag and two small plastic bags with Disney World emblazoned across the front. Walking up to the reception desk, she placed one of the bags in front of Lorraine and the other in front of Maria. Lorraine looked up and smiled when she saw who was standing in front of her and greeted, "Good morning chief." Callie returned the smile and the greeting then scowled when Maria looked up, smirked, and said, "Good morning Prince Charming. Ooh gifts." Callie yanked Maria's bag back and declared, "I'm not sure you deserve yours." Then she remembered what it was, returned the gift to her friend and added, "You know what, you really do." She then went on to explain, "Before you open these, I need to inform you, I had no hand in choosing these whatsoever. Lorraine, Sofia chose yours because of a comment you made to her at some point, and Maria, Arizona chose yours because of your weird love/hate relationship for one another."
Both women laughed and took the bags from their chief. Lorraine opened hers first and found a travel coffee mug with the words, 'Mickey Through the Years' written across the top and had various images of Mickey Mouse starting with Steamboat Willie. The older woman laughed and explained, "I took the girls to a Disney movie once and they showed an old clip of Steamboat Willie and I told them that was the Mickey I remembered as a kid. I can't believe she remembered that. Give her a big hug for me." Callie smiled at her daughter's thoughtfulness and responded, "Will do." She then looked at Maria expectantly and the head nurse bit her bottom lip and admitted, "I'm almost afraid to open it now." Callie laughed and replied, "It's fine. Just open it." Maria pulled out a travel mug and instantly started laughing as she howled, "Oh this is so me!" Lorraine took the mug from her friend, saw that it contained pictures of all the Disney Villains and laughed, "Dr. RT has you pegged." Maria shook her head and told her chief, "Tell her I said thank you, but it still doesn't make up for the shoes." Callie shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Hey, I offered, you declined. You don't get to hold it over my head." Maria just chuckled at that response.
After catching up and Callie telling them all about their mini-vacation, Lorraine handed over the mail, then reached for a small package and declared, "Looks like you got something from your mother-in-law." Callie looked around the lobby and commanded, "Shh, don't breathe a word of this to anyone." Maria rolled her eyes and asked, "Oh God, is there another surprise coming? What is it this time?" Callie shook her head and explained, "It is a surprise, but it won't be anything involving anyone else. Arizona's 40th birthday is on the 5th but she's not big into surprises or huge parties for herself, especially on her birthday. Though surprisingly she did agree to a gender reveal and a baby shower." Both women looked at one another and smiled, this was one baby shower they intended to take full control of. Callie caught the look and admitted, "I have no idea what you are thinking, but it looks a little sinister, so on that note, I'll be in my office until morning rounds."
Once she reached her office, Callie sat down behind her desk, went through her mail to make sure she didn't overlook anything important, put it all in piles of how and when it needed to be addressed and who needed to take care of it, then tore into the package she was dying to get her hands on. She reached into the manilla envelope and pulled out a sparkly pink book with a unicorn riding on a rainbow across the front of it and a small metal clasp with a cheap lock on the side and realized this was Arizona's diary from when she was younger. That within itself was a surprise because Arizona didn't seem like the type of person to ever keep a diary. She certainly processed information, but she internalized everything. She would never leave evidence of her actual feelings. She started to open it and realized the lock was still engaged. She tipped the envelope upside down and a small delicate key fell out and she whispered, "Oh bless you Barb." Opening the lock, she felt a tinge of guilt about reading her wife's diary then justified it by telling herself Arizona wasn't her wife at the time, in fact, she was just a kid.
After taking the lock off, she opened the front cover, the first thing that stood out to her was the beautiful, perfect, curvy handwriting of a teenaged girl that still very much resembled that of the grown woman and then she laughed when she read the contents, "This diary belongs to Arizona Robbins. It is for my eyes only. If you read it without permission, I will hunt you down and hurt you! THIS MEANS YOU TIMOTHY JAMES ROBBINS! Again, Callie felt a little guilty and again justified it by telling herself she had permission to read it, just not Arizona's permission, so she turned the page. When she started reading, she laughed out loud because this was so her wife. The first page read:
Dear Diary,
I really think writing down all my thoughts and feelings is stupid. They are my thoughts and feelings so why would I write them down and risk someone finding them and using them against me? But grandma gave me this dumb book because it has unicorns and rainbows on it and she said it reminded her of me and every girl my age needs a diary. So I will use it, but don't expect to learn all my deep dark secrets. The best you'll get is things most people already know or things I won't be embarrassed by if they find out.
Till next time,
Arizona
Callie didn't know if teenaged Arizona realized it, but that actually said a lot about her and it helped her to understand her wife had always been reserved and closed off. Now she understood it was because she was worried if she shared her thoughts and feelings, someone might see her weaknesses and use them against her. She closed her eyes as a sharp pain struck her chest when she recognized it was something she had done multiple times. She gave herself a minute to let the pain and regret wash over her, then told herself they were past all of that and were living a new life, a life in which those things were now lessons from the past. Turning the pages, she wasn't surprised to find list after list. Things the teenager loved, things she hated, things that made her happy, things that made her mad, her favorite places, her least favorite places, a rant about Timothy, she skimmed over most of them but stopped when she got to one list that interested her. At the top, it read 'My Perfect Girl' and underneath was a list of characteristics that made up young Arizona's dream girl. Callie smirked because they'd always argued about each of them having a 'type' of person they were interested in. She went on to read off the list:
My perfect girl has to be smart, like super amazingly smart, borderline genius because I want someone who can challenge me, someone I can have an intellectual conversation with, someone who is interested in some of the same things I am and if she isn't then she's able to hold up a good argument about it.
My perfect girl is ambitious, she knows what she wants and she works hard to get it.
My perfect girl is the perfect combination of funny and sarcastic, she makes me laugh, but she gets my humor. She has this sarcastic, witty streak that catches me off guard and makes me smile.
My perfect girl is strong, not just physically, though that's totally hot, but she's emotionally strong. But I also want her to be able to be vulnerable and feel like she can lean on me. I just don't want someone who is needy all the time.
My perfect girl is taller than I am. Well, that won't take much because I am short, but I want someone I can cuddle with on cold nights and someone who makes me feel safe when I'm in her arms. But we have to fit together just right so I can hold her too. I want to make her feel safe too. I want to be the protector just as much as I want to be protected.
My perfect girl is a hard worker, she has a strong work ethic and won't depend on me to support her. But she also won't try to support me because I am a strong independent person and I don't need people to take care of me.
My perfect girl will accept me for who I am. I know that I am cheerful and happy and annoying and it bugs a lot of people, but my girl won't care because she will see through all that and see me for the person I am inside.
My perfect girl will be the exact opposite of me. I mean, who wants to live with themselves? But I want someone tough, edgy, someone to balance my perkiness.
My perfect girl will be hot! Exotic. She will have amazing curves and dark hair and eyes and with any luck, she will speak a foreign language. Ooooh Spanish. That's so sexy to me.
Most importantly, my perfect girl will be my soulmate. I know that sounds stupid and lots of people don't believe in soul mates and I will deny it myself. But I think she's out there, the person who was made for me. I think someday I will find her and no matter what we go through, we will always find each other, choose each other over and over again.
Callie read the list three different times and wondered if Arizona even remembered writing it. She didn't even have to stretch to see that she fit all the criteria. Even though a teenager wrote it, she was happy the girl found her perfect mate and she was even happier that it was her. Flipping through more pages, she came to one that had the corner turned down and realized this must be the page Barb meant for her to read. She read the title, 'My Dream Birthday' and got extremely excited, hoping to find something she could do to make one of Arizona's dreams come true. As she read, she was absolutely charmed by the innocence of the young girl's wishes and the thought and reasoning behind them. When she got closer to the bottom of the page, she realized that an addition was made by the adult Arizona at about 27 or 28 if her math was correct. Tears instantly sprang to her eyes when she read the words, 'Birthday dreams and wishes are for kids and they don't mean anything if you don't have the people you love around to celebrate them with. If I were to be granted one birthday wish, it would be to celebrate at least one more birthday with my brother." Wiping her eyes, Callie closed the book, opened her bottom drawer, and put it way in the back where it couldn't be found. Reflecting on what she read, she immediately started developing a plan and continued to do so throughout the day even while seeing patients.
XXXX
Arizona finished her morning meeting with her department heads which was usually held on Mondays and was about to leave the conference room when she was approached by Dr. Yaegar, the OB whose primary focus was non-binary and transgender patients. Smiling she asked, "Dr. Yaegar, what can I do for you?" The young woman sat down and seeing the serious look on the other woman's face, Arizona sat next to her and asked, "Michaela, what is it?" The attending wasn't sure why she was so nervous asking her chief about this, she seemed like a reasonable person, though they haven't had much interaction because she kept to herself quite often, choosing not to bring her personal life into the workplace. Sighing, Dr. Yaegar began, "I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I run a free clinic on Saturdays for non-binary and transgender youth. Many of them are homeless because their parents couldn't accept their choices." Arizona smiled and replied, "I didn't know that. It sounds amazing and I hold a great deal of respect for you for doing that." Arizona noticed her colleague seemed to relax slightly then asked, "What's the problem? Do you need supplies? Do you need a donation?" Surprised by the offer, Michaela blurted out, "The community center I was renting space from will no longer lease to me because they say it's causing them too much trouble and their board members and other financial backers are threatening to pull their funding." Arizona nodded in understanding; she figured where the other doctor was going with this.
Arizona sat back in her chair, took out her phone, called Nicole and asked her to join her in the conference room, then explained to Dr. Yaegar, "I know you're nervous and I think I know where you are going with this. I am calling Dr. Herman in because we are business partners and we don't make decisions like this without each other. So when she gets here, I need you to be as confident as you can and explain the clinic, what you do there, who it is staffed by, where you get your funding and materials, then I need you to ask specifically for what you need from us." Michaela gulped audibly, going to Dr. Robbins-Torres who she greatly admired and respected was one thing, but asking Dr. Herman who she was deathly afraid of was another. When the door opened, the young doctor swallowed again and gripped the armrests on the chair so tightly her knuckles were turning white.
When Nicole walked into the conference room, she declared, "This better be good Robbins-Torres, I was right in the middle of writing a grant and I was on a roll." Arizona responded, "I happen to think it is very good. I have Dr. Yaegar here with me and she has a proposition for us." Nicole nodded, commanded Shep to take her to her seat, then felt around the chair and carefully sat down. Looking in the direction she heard the fetal surgeon's voice, she asked, "What do you have for us Dr. Yaegar?" Clearing her throat, Michaela looked at Arizona, received a nod and a smile and explained, "Every Saturday, I run a free clinic for homeless non-binary and transgender youth out of a local community center where I rent a small room in the back. I have a general practitioner and two certified nurses who volunteer their time to help me out. We get our funding through a grant from the LGBTQIA community as well as periodic fundraisers. Some local hospitals and pharmacies donate supplies to us." She stopped for a minute to gather strength for what she was about to ask and continued, "The community center shut us down and will no longer allow us to run the clinic, claiming their other supporters are threatening to pull their funding. I was um, I was wondering if we could rent space from you, only a couple of exam rooms, since we don't see patients on the weekends. We would bring in our own supplies, my partners are willing to give you all of their credentials, a copy of their malpractice insurance and sign a waiver excusing the center from all liability." She stopped then and held her breath waiting for a reply.
Arizona and Nicole both stayed silent for a moment. Each knew the other was thinking through the legalities, logistics, advantages, and disadvantages. Finally Arizona asked, "How old are most of these kids?" Michaela replied, "The majority of them are 16 to 18 years old. Those who are 16 and 17 have legally declared independence and anyone younger than that, we do the best we can to track down their parents or guardians and at least get verbal permission over the phone, some of them have signed notes for medical treatment. We keep very meticulous records so we can justify treating anyone without parental consent." Nicole asked, "What types of treatments do you provide?" Dr. Yaegar answered, "Mostly vaccines and flu shots. We've had some broken bones, cuts, sprains. The cuts we stitch up, the sprains we wrap, the broken bones we refer to one of the hospitals. The most potent medication we've ever given is Tylenol 3 and we only give 2 per patient. One during the visit and one to take with them. All of our medication is donated from a local pharmacy through their providers." Nicole nodded and asked, "Can you step out for a moment please?" Dr. Yaegar nodded then stammered, "Um…y…yes ma'am." Then she quickly left the room, hoping this was a good thing since they didn't say no right away.
Arizona was quiet, still thinking of the pros and cons when Nicole asked, "What are you thinking?" Arizona sighed and responded, "It's a good thing, a really good thing. I'm honestly torn right now between thinking like a parent, thinking like a member of that community, and thinking like an administrator of a medical facility." Nicole nodded and asked, "What does the parent part say?" Arizona shook her head and replied, "I mean, Callie and I would never kick our kids out for that and my parents accepted me right away, but if Callie would have come out at that age, there's no doubt she would have found herself on the street. So that part of me says, if my kid or someone I loved ended up homeless, I would want them to be taken care of medically." Nicole nodded and asked, "What about the lesbian you?" Arizona responded, "Well, it's like we talked about a while back. I have the means to help my community, to do something about a major problem that is hurting our youth and I should do it." Nicole asked, "And the administrator?" Arizona sighed and replied, "I'm wondering about letting doctors and nurses we don't know into the center to practice. I'm worried about no one being here to watch over the facility. I mean the hospital is staffed over the weekend, but they all have their own duties. Michaela will be with patients, she can't see if those who are waiting roam around, and what happens if a parent finds out their kid was treated here without their knowledge or permission?" Nicole nodded and answered, "All valid points."
Arizona tilted her head and asked, "What are your thoughts?" The older fetal surgeon replied, "As an administrator, mostly the same as yours. I don't really have much experience in the other two departments other than to say, I mean, I took a kid in because I didn't want her on the streets, so I get the importance of what they are doing. Moreso because these kids didn't ask to be who they are, it's not a choice." Arizona blinked a few times, surprised to hear her mentor believed that. She knew for herself that it was true, but she and Nicole never really spoke much about it. Nicole took a breath and suggested, "I think we should leave the legalities to our lawyers and go with our guts here. We have plenty of funds for staff and can either hire another receptionist to work on Saturdays to focus primarily on the clinic, or we can offer overtime to our current staff who would be willing to come in on a Saturday to work the clinic." Arizona tilted her head and smiled, "We're going to let her do it?" Nicole nodded and replied, "We will." Arizona asked, "In that case, can I suggest that we donate the space and allow them to use the funds they receive to by their own supplies and medications and not just rely on donations? Before you say no, it can be used as a tax write-off." The older woman laughed and replied, "I think that's a good idea and for the record, I already knew that. Call her back in then." Arizona got up and went to the door to invite the nervous doctor back into the room.
After explaining everything they discussed with the young doctor, she agreed to their terms as well as to signing a contract drawn up by the center's attorneys with all of the terms and conditions. She was nearly praising them as she walked out the door. Arizona started to get up when Herman asked her, "Do you have a few more minutes?" Arizona looked at her phone and replied, "Sure, my first patient isn't due for another half hour." Nicole smirked and announced, "I know you're good Robbins, but even you can't predict when your patients are going to go into labor." Arizona was unimpressed with the pun and answered, "Ha ha, very clever." Nicole replied, "I really am. Top of my class. Anyway, I was writing this grant to get funding to add a few interns. I have some students who are graduating in the Spring and they have a great deal of potential. I was wondering what you thought about maybe having a couple of them shadow you once or twice a week to get a feel for it." Arizona thought about it for a minute and replied, "That's our goal right? To produce people to feed into our own program, so I don't have a problem with that, as long as they stay out of the way and they understand they need to be in the gallery for major procedures." Nicole nodded and replied, "Okay, fair enough."
Arizona started to get up again, saw that her partner wasn't moving and asked, "Is that it?" The older woman nodded then asked, "Is there anything else we need to do for Saturday? Kim ordered everything she wanted for the party and sent out the invitations, but ah, I don't…what should I do?" Arizona smirked and asked, "Did you want to do something? Do you want to buy her a present or maybe give her a gift card so she can get something she needs that no one bought her?" Nicole nodded her head and answered, "Yeah, that. Can you take care of that for me? Is 1000 dollars too much?" Arizona choked and replied, "Uhhh yeah, unless that's your standard and in that case I expect 3000 dollars since I'm having triplets." Nicole through up her hands and exclaimed, "I don't fucking know!" Arizona replied, "You can give any amount you want Nicole, but 50 to 100 dollars would be the standard. One thousand dollars might put her into early labor and you have really nice floors.." The older woman tilted her head and asked, "Do I? Good to know. Okay, you can go now." Arizona shook her head, said "Goodbye Nicole," and left the room.
XXXX
After finishing her rounds and seeing the patients who had appointments for the day, Callie headed to her lab to make the final adjustments on Arizona's leg. When she picked it up to carry it over to the machine for durability testing, she noticed it felt a little heavier than the other frame and took it to the scale to weigh it. She then went to her laptop to check the dimensions of the prosthesis Arizona was currently wearing, found the weight of the frame, compared the two and was disheartened to see that the new one weighed nearly one and a half more pounds than the old one. Looking at the frame, she knew there was really nothing she could change about it if she wanted it to be durable enough to hold Arizona's weight throughout the pregnancy as well as to help her with her balance when her weight started to shift. She carried the leg to the machine, programmed it to run through a series of tests, then set to work trying to figure out if there were other places she could shave some of the weight off.
Deciding to wait to see what Arizona thought about it or if she had any ideas, Callie went to the machine, checked the readout, and turned up the pressure and tension. This time she decided to stay and observe the leg to assure there was no bending or signs of stress on the new parts she added. When she was satisfied with the testing, she started hooking up the wires that would lead to the sensors in the socket. She was just about to test it when she heard her wife's signature knock on the door. Looking at the clock, she realized it was 5:00 pm and had been lost in her work for nearly three hours. Rushing to open the door, she greeted her wife with a long passionate kiss before even allowing her entry. When the kiss came to an end, Arizona blinked, swallowed, and husked out, "Wow! Well hello there." Callie took the bags and cup holder from her hands and declared, "I missed you today. I always do when we spend so much time together then I don't see you all day." Arizona waited for her to put the bags on the table, wrapped her arms around her from behind, laid her cheek on her back and admitted, "I missed you too."
Callie was lured by the spicy aromas coming from the bags, started to peek inside, and asked, "What do you have here? Where's Sof?" Arizona smacked her wife's hands so she couldn't see her surprise and responded, "You'll have to wait and see. As for Sofia, she's with Maria for the evening since she missed Bella sooooooo much and hasn't seen her in foreverrrrrr." Callie laughed at the perfect impression of their daughter and guessed, "So we are picking her up on the way home?" Arizona replied, "Yeah, I told Maria what we were doing and she offered to take her so she didn't ask a million questions and prolong the process." Surprised by the fact that Arizona told anybody, let alone her head nurse, Callie tilted her head and asked, "You did?" Arizona started unpacking the food and answered, "I did. I am very proud of my wife and her talents. I am also very appreciative, which is why I ordered your favorite meal from Pilar, complete with a piece of tres leches cake and a Cafecito." While Arizona was pulling out the feast of Cuban food, Callie stood behind her nearly bouncing with excitement, she loved this restaurant and didn't treat herself often because normally Arizona couldn't handle the spices. She wrapped her arms around her wife's middle, smiled when she realized the reach was much shorter than it used to be, kissed Arizona on the sweet spot behind her ear and whispered, "Thank you, I really appreciate this. I didn't realize how hungry I was." Arizona leaned her head back and answered, "I figured. I called at around 3:30 pm and Lorraine said you'd been in the lab since 2:00 pm and I knew you'd lose track of time." Callie blushed slightly and responded, "I did. As usual."
While they were eating their dinner, Arizona recalled her conversation with Dr. Yaegar and asked, "Do you remember how I said I'd like to do more for the LGBTQ community?" Having just taken a bite, Callie nodded her head and Arizona explained, "Dr. Yaegar, the OB who specializes in working with non-binary and transgender patients came to me today and told me she normally holds a free clinic for homeless non-binary and transgender teens at a local community center on Saturdays but they are no longer allowing her to rent the space from them. She asked if she could rent the space from us." Callie took a drink of her Cafecito and asked, "What did you say?" Arizona answered, "I pulled Nicole in of course and after she explained how the clinic was set up, where she got her funding, supplies, and medication, we decided to donate the space she would need and hire a receptionist specifically for the clinic just to keep an eye on the patients while she is busy. Our weekend receptionist and other staff are focused on our current patients and we don't want them to feel obligated to split their time."
Callie smiled brightly, took her wife's hand and replied, "That's amazing! I know it had to be a hard decision, administratively, at least." Arizona nodded and admitted, "It was, I mean I was torn between my professional life and my personal life, then the idea of being a mom and having my kid out on the streets. I mean, I know neither of us would ever turn our kids away for any reason but I…" Callie could see the indecision over whether or not she wanted to finish her sentence and prompted, "It's okay, what were you going to say?" Arizona exhaled loudly and declared, "I just…I wonder what would have happened to you if you would have come out as a teenager. I mean, they disowned you as an adult…I just…" She shook her head; she couldn't imagine Callie's life taking any path other than the one she's living now. Callie inhaled sharply and replied, "I never let myself go there for that exact reason. I think you and I both know what would have happened." Arizona lifted Callie's hand to her lips, kissed the back of it and stated, "But it didn't and that's what matters." Callie leaned in to kiss her wife softly and murmured, "It didn't and because of you, they found the acceptance I always wanted." Arizona lifted her hand to brush through Callie's hair and replied, "No matter what, I'll always accept you for who you are." Callie smiled and replied, "Me too." She then clapped her hands and declared, "I really think it's amazing that you are donating the space and if they happen to need more volunteers, I'm sure we can round some up over here." Arizona nodded and replied, "I'll let her know. Thank you."
After they finished eating, Arizona walked across the room to throw away their garbage and noticed the frame of what she assumed to be her leg sitting on one of the lab tables. On her way back from the trash can, she asked, "Is this it? This is what it looks like inside?" Callie joined her wife and replied, "Mostly, I made a few more structural changes than I expected to. My biggest concern now is that it weighs a little more than your current one does." Arizona looked at it, then at Callie, arched her brow silently asking for permission, and at the ortho surgeon's nod, picked it up and turned it around in her hands looking at it from all angles. Noticing the wires, she asked, "What are all these wires for?" Callie took one in her hand and explained, they connect to the sensors in your socket so you can feel the sensations. This longer, thicker wire going down the center connects all of the joints to the computer chip and controls the movement of the leg." Arizona smiled and asked, "Is it ready?" Callie pursed her lips and replied, "I believe so, I'm just worried about the extra weight. Some research says it takes more energy they heavier the leg is, but there is just as much research that disputes it."
Arizona thought about it for a minute and replied, "My old leg was heavier and harder to move and it put a lot of strain on my other leg and back to compensate for it. While this leg is lighter, I think what makes it easier is the fact that it is robotic and moves on it's own so that alone takes less energy and puts less strain on the rest of my body. Quite honestly, I'm going to get much bigger and I think the heavier leg might make it more durable and help me to feel more balanced." Callie smiled at her wife's logic. She knew this was one of those cases where she was thinking more like a wife than a doctor and was more focused on her wife's comfort rather than the science. Nodding her head she commanded, "Well, let's get started then. Once I get the covering off, it will be easier for me to show you the changes I made." Arizona took off her pants and started to sit on the stool when Callie looked around the room and said, "Hold on just a minute." She went to the desk she had set up in the lab, pulled out the office chair, stopped by the sofa and picked up the blanket she used to use when she would sleep in her lab, then took them to Arizona and explained, "That stool is going to get pretty uncomfortable honey, sit here please." Arizona kissed her wife's cheek and replied, "Thank you. My back was already starting to hurt. I didn't even notice that chair or I would have stolen it earlier." She sat down in the chair, took off her leg and handed it to Callie, then covered up with the blanket.
Callie pulled up the controls for the leg on her laptop, made sure it was powered down, then began to remove the silicone covering. Arizona was fascinated with the entire process. She didn't know why it surprised her that there was a thick layer of a softer silicone which molded around the frame just as the muscles and flesh protected the bone in an intact leg. When Callie finished carefully removing the silicone and unhooking all of the wires, she showed the original frame to Arizona then compared the two side by side and showed her the improvements she made in each of the joints and the reinforcement she made around the area where the socket attaches to the frame. Arizona stared at her wife in disbelief. When Callie noticed the expression on Arizona's face, she nervously asked, "What?" Arizona shook her head and replied, "I just…the way you designed it, it looks like a leg Calliope. I mean, a prosthetic is one titanium rod. You've made the knee and ankle actually look like joints and not hinges and instead of one thick rod, you've made two smaller ones just like a tibia and fibula and the foot, it's just…this didn't look like this the other day." Callie shook her head and explained, "No I didn't have the foot attached, you only saw the standard frame."
Callie knew this leg was the best work of her career, but to see the new appreciation Arizona had for it after seeing it stripped down, it meant something more to her. More than any contract or any award ever could. Clearing her throat, she explained, "Okay, I'm going to get all the wires hooked up to your socket, oh and I finished the updates to the sensors you requested, so once everything is all hooked up, I'll update the technology again, run it through a few tests on my computer, then we will go through some of the same tests we went through last time." Arizona arched her brow and warned, "If you put that damn Wartenberg Pinwheel anywhere near me, I swear one of us is sleeping in the guest room." Callie chuckled and replied, "Duly noted." She then leaned over, kissed her wife chastely and got back to work.
After an hour of testing on the computer, walking around the lab, and getting used to the extra weight, Callie stood leaning on the table and asked, "What do you think?" Arizona smiled brightly and answered, "Honestly, the extra weight does make me feel more stable and I can already feel the difference in the amount of weight I put on my right leg. I think my balance was already shifting and I didn't even notice." Callie breathed a sigh of relief and asked, "So the sensors and everything work alright? They heat up and cool off?" Arizona walked to Callie, wrapped her arms around her neck and soothed, "Honey, everything works perfectly. I feel like it moves more smoothly than the other one, I love it and you did an amazing job. I think it's okay to put the covering back on. I don't think there are anymore adjustments that need to be made." Callie smiled her mega-watt smile, guided Arizona back to the chair, carefully removed her leg, then meticulously put the silicone skin back in place and sealed it with a special glue and heat gun.
When they were all finished, Arizona helped Callie clean up her lab, they took the containers holding the leftovers, gathered their things, then left the lab and went to Callie's office. Callie decided not to take anything home since it was so late, put the leftovers in the refrigerator, helped Arizona with her coat, put on her own, then they started out the door. Just as they opened the door, Arizona's phone went off and she pulled it out to check her messages and asked Callie, "Can we stop by the bank to get some cash? Maria was going to the craft store and offered to pick up the paints and stop by a department store to buy a variety of onesies while they were getting things for the scrapbook station." Callie chuckled and responded, "I will never understand you two. But sure, we can go to the bank." Arizona took her hand, linked their fingers and replied, "Yeah, I don't get it either, but it works for us."
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Saturday morning, Kim, Callie, Arizona, and Lorraine were at Nicole's condo decorating for Julie's baby shower while Maria took the girls with her to pick up the food, cake and balloons. Fortunately, Saturday was the day Julie and Nicole ran all of their errands and did their grocery shopping. Of course, Nicole insisted they go early this morning claiming she had something to do later in the afternoon, which wasn't exactly a lie. Lorraine and Arizona being similar heights focused on decorating the tables, setting up the games and prizes, and hanging a few decorations on the walls leaving the banners, streamers, and other things that hung from the ceiling to Callie and Kim. Arizona stopped and looked around then noticed there were still two folding tables leaning against the wall and gasped, "Oh my gosh, I almost forgot the scrapbook and onesie stations." Callie had to hide her face and bite back her laughter, she still couldn't reconcile this side of Arizona with the pre-Sofia Arizona. Hell, she even faked it at their own baby shower. She looked down and saw that her wife was starting to move the table without help and scolded, "Arizona Robbins-Torres, don't you dare move that table another inch until I get off this chair." Arizona growled at her wife, crossed her arms over her protruding belly and tried to scowl at her which only made her look more adorable.
Finally finished with the last of the streamers, Callie hopped off the chair and asked, "Now where do you want the tables?" Arizona pointed to the other side of the room without saying a word to her wife and stomped after her with tablecloths in hand. Once Callie brought both tables over, Arizona put tablecloths on both tables then proceeded to decorate them with all of the supplies. When Callie came over with a bag of onesies, she asked cautiously, "Can I help?" Arizona didn't even look up and snapped, "No, I think I am perfectly capable of lifting a 2 ounce piece of fabric and putting it back down." Callie sighed and started, "Arizona…" The blonde cut her off, "Save it Callie," then walked away to get the scrapbook supplies. She knew she was being irrational. She also knew she shouldn't be lifting a table all by herself. Callie had been so good about letting her do things on her own and not saying a word so she didn't know why this bothered her so bad. Turning around with the bag in her hand, she watched as her wife slowly walked into the kitchen with her head hung low and felt horrible.
Putting the bag down, she went into the kitchen to find Callie leaning against the counter with her head down. Walking up behind her, she wrapped her arms around her waist, rested her chin on her shoulder and whispered, "I'm sorry. You were right and I shouldn't be lifting the table by myself. There's no excuse for the way I snapped at you and I won't try to make one up. You've been amazing and you haven't gotten after me for anything and you've let me carry things even though I know you've wanted to take them away from me. I need to realize it's time I ask for help and this isn't long term, this isn't a disability. This is a good thing; an amazing thing and you just want us all to be safe." Callie knew that was why Arizona snapped at her, she understood it was more about her disability than her pregnancy, but she needed her wife to understand it wasn't okay.
Turning in her arms, Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona's shoulders, caressed her face and responded, "I understand Arizona, I do, more than anybody and I knew the minute you snapped at me why you did it. But we can't go back there. You're right, this isn't a disability and I'm not trying to be your doctor, I'm trying to be your wife, your wife who loves you very much and the other mother to these children. I trust with all my heart that you know your limits, I also know that when you are excited, you have a one-track mind and sometimes forget those limits. I love you so much and I accept your apology and I'll take the hormonal outbursts, but that's not what this was." Arizona laid her head on Callie's chest and replied, "No that's not what this was and I feel like shit because I never ever want to make you feel like I just made you feel. I'm so so sorry Calliope. I'll do better. I'll go to…" Callie put her finger over Arizona's lips and replied softly, "It was a one time thing honey. You don't need to go to therapy. You recognized it immediately, you apologized and took responsibility right away, and I didn't let it slide, I told you how it made me feel. Those are all things we didn't do before. We are fine. Now can I please help you set up the stations because you know I love these things." Arizona smiled, leaned up to brush their lips together and answered, "I would love for you to help me."
While Callie and Arizona were setting up the two stations and Kim and Lorraine were deciding which table should be for gifts and where they should put all the food, Maria and the two younger girls came in with their hands full of trays and balloons. Lorraine rushed to take the cake from Maria and Kim ran out to the car to get the rest of the food. Just as they finished up, doctors and nurses from both centers started arriving, along with Dee who had also gotten close to both girls. Once the majority of the guests arrived, Arizona called Nicole who had been stalling as much as she could and groused into the phone, "You said you wouldn't be here until later this afternoon. Fine, I'll be there as soon as I can." Arizona stared at her phone when it disconnected having no idea what that was about and announced, "Ah…I think they are on their way." Callie laughed, pulled Arizona into her just to let her know they were okay, and whispered, "I still can't believe she wanted to do this." Arizona laughed and told her, "Oh the other day she asked me if she should get her a gift and I told her a gift card would be nice and she pops off with, "Do you think 1000 dollars is enough?" Callie laughed and asked, "Did you remind her we were having three kids." Arizona nodded her head and chirped, "Yup!" Callie laughed, kissed her cheek and held her even closer.
Sofia, who was the lookout, popped out from behind the curtain and whisper yelled, "They're here!" Everyone got quiet and suddenly Arizona questioned the logic of 20 or more people screaming surprise at someone who was 31 weeks pregnant. Hearing the key in the door, they waited until the young woman appeared in the doorway and Kim led the charge as they all yelled, "Surprise!" Julie nearly dropped the bags in her hands and instantly started crying and turned into Nicole's arms causing the older woman to let out an "Ooomph!" After she gathered herself together, Julie hugged her best friend, cried a little more, then thanked everyone for coming. After walking through the place that was starting to feel like her home and greeting all of her guests, Julie looked around and could truly feel the love emanating from all of these people. She rubbed her stomach and smiled when Kim came up and put her arm around her and asked, "What are you thinking?" Julie snorted and answered, "How ironic it is that a car accident took my parents' lives and a bus accident changed our lives for the better." Kim looked around the room at all the people whom they both considered family and replied, "I think about that a lot. I often wonder if we can ever repay them." Unbeknownst to both girls, Maria was standing behind them and replied, "The best way you can repay us is to grow up and be the best versions of yourselves you can be. That's what we all want for you both, we wanted to give you a chance to do that, to live your life to it's fullest potential. Now go get this party started hostess before Arizona does it for you."
As the party went on, Kim was hosting the games, people were decorating onesies, making scrapbook pages, eating cake, and mingling. Deciding she needed a break; Arizona took a seat on one of the sofas and watched as each person cut a piece of string the length they figured would wrap perfectly around Julie's stomach. She laughed when she heard Maria whine, "That's not fair! You're wife's a fetal surgeon and she's pregnant, you should be disqualified!" Callie argued, "We don't share the same brain and Arizona being pregnant has nothing to do with this. We don't sit around and wrap yarn around her stomach every day." Lorraine stepped in and commanded, "Back to your corners, Dr. T won fair and square, go pick your prize." Arizona laughed out loud when Callie stuck her tongue out at Maria and went to get her gift.
While sitting there, Arizona looked around and noticed most of the women were wearing dresses or dress pants and a nice blouse, then looked at Callie and saw that she had on her black trousers that showed off her ass perfectly, her purple silk long sleeved button down shirt, and her black and purple paisley vest. She then looked around and saw that all the decorations were baby blue, there were images of trucks, dinosaurs, and other things that people associate with boys. She thought about how much her wife struggled to step out of that stereotype, how hard she fought to find herself, to be the person she felt like she was inside and realized they needed to have a conversation before Addie arrived next week for her ultrasound which would hopefully allow them to find out the genders of their babies.
After all the games were played, everyone ate, they cut the cake, and Julie opened her gifts. She was overwhelmed by everything she was given for her son. She had been so worried about how she would provide the things she needed but looking around and seeing box upon box of diapers and wipes and piles and piles of clothes of all sizes, she couldn't help but feel blessed and said as much to all of her guests. As everyone trickled out, the small group of friends started cleaning up and by the time they were finished, you couldn't even tell there was a party. As they all said their goodbyes, Lorraine asked, "Would it be okay if the girls came home with us today? We haven't had a good old fashioned slumber party with Aunt Lorraine in quite a while." Both Bella and Sofia looked at their moms with their puppy dog eyes and asked, "Can we please?" Arizona looked to Callie and replied, "It's okay with me." Callie nodded and bargained, "As long as you promise to be good and listen." Sofia nodded and promised, "I swear I'll be good." Arizona asked, "Do we need to bring some clothes by?" Lorraine shook her head and answered, "I have clothes for them in case I need to bring them home if there is an emergency." Maria looked at her daughter and warned, "Same goes for you, best behavior." Bella nodded and replied, "Yes mama." Both girls squealed, took Kim's hand and pulled her out to the car.
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After they got home, the two women decided to just have a quiet day relaxing. Callie was lying on her back on the couch while Arizona was lying on her side with her back resting against the back of the couch and her head resting on Callie's chest. They were catching up on some of the shows they recorded on their DVR when Arizona saw a commercial of a little girl who was dressed all in pink and it reminded her of her earlier thoughts. Picking up the remote from Callie's stomach, she paused the program and declared, "I never asked you if you wanted a gender reveal party. I just said I wanted one and didn't think about how you'd feel about it now." Callie furrowed her brow and asked, "What?" Arizona clarified, "I said I wanted a gender reveal and a baby shower because I know you love them, but…I never asked…I mean, I know you loved them, but we haven't talked about it really. At Becca's baby shower, Jo and Stevie didn't go and I just, you did, but did you want to be there? Did you want to be at Julie's?" Callie turned on her side, looked her wife in her eyes and could see that she was seriously concerned about something. Brushing a stray curl behind her ear, she admitted, "I don't understand what you mean Arizona."
Arizona sighed and explained, "You've struggled with your identity most of your life, you said yourself your mom told you how girls should look and act and dress and went into a male dominated field and felt like you had to prove yourself because you were a woman and were still expected to look and act a certain way. Now…now you're finally comfortable with who you are. Now you don't feel like a man or a woman…and gender reveals, they…they are sort of stereotypical, pink for girls, blue for boys and I don't know…I don't know if you're okay with that now." Callie took a minute to put her thoughts into words and answered honestly, "Honey, I did struggle with my identity because I grew up in a home and in a religion and in a world where only two genders were recognized, you were a man or a woman. You were the gender God assigned you at birth. My mother's misguided religious and societal beliefs put me in a box and didn't let me explore anything else. Sofia is a girl through and through, she loves princesses and pink and rainbows and unicorns, and I'm going to encourage that and support that because that's who she is. If we go into a store one day and she wants a Superman toy, I'll buy it for her. If she wants to stop wearing dresses and start wearing more gender neutral clothes, then we will let her because she is old enough to decide and know what she likes. Her world is different from the world we grew up in. In some ways it's easier and in some ways it's harder." Arizona caressed her wife's face and listened as she continued to talk.
Callie continued, "I have nothing against people being the gender they were born or identifying as that gender. I personally don't want to be in that box anymore but I also haven't decided if I feel like I fall into the non-binary category in the truest sense of the word either, I still use my same pronouns and right now, I'm just comfortable with who I am and how I look. That doesn't mean I'm not going to recognize nor celebrate if we have boys or girls or a combination of both. No matter if we choose to do a gender reveal or not, they are still going to be assigned that gender at birth and as they grow up and if we see them stepping outside of that box, then we nurture it, we help them explore it, we support it, and if they don't we support them and nurture them and most importantly, we just love them. It doesn't matter if we do pink and blue, black and silver, green and yellow, Mickey and Minnie, one of them is still going to represent a baby with a penis and one of them is still going to represent a baby with a vagina. So to make a long answer short, yes, I want a gender reveal and a baby shower because I want to celebrate our unborn children and I still love those things. To me, that's not putting them in a box and saying you have to be this way because you were born this way. It's how we raise them that matters." Arizona leaned in and brushed her lips against Callie's, pulled back, looked her in the eyes and teased, "I swear, the longer you're a Robbins, the better your speeches get." Callie pulled her on top of her making her squeal and asked, "So do we get our gender reveal or not?" Arizona released her super-magic smile and replied, "We get our gender reveal!"
A/N: I know, way early for an update, but this chapter just kind of flowed out of me today. Thank you all for your comments.
Rather than addressing one guests comments specifically in my notes, I wanted Callie to address them as well. I don't know how you identify, but I identify as nonbinary and personally find nothing wrong with gender reveals. Yes I find it cringy if people only let their girls play with dolls and their boys play with trucks or other "gender specific" toys, but these are unborn babies and regardless of how Callie presents herself, I don't think she would lose that part of herself that loves those things like baby showers and gender reveals. I also don't think either Callie or Arizona would put their child in a gender specific box if they saw them leaning in a certain direction.
Next up, Addie's coming to visit.