Purpose — I Finally Found It
That shut him up.
For a moment, shock flashed across Yoh's face.
But the surprise was short-lived and the shaman chuckled.
The sound of his laughter caught Kagome off guard.
"Ahh~" Yoh scratched his head, blushing and grinning, albeit sheepishly, "Is that so?"
Kagome flushed and flustered, her lips folded inward and fists balled at her side, "What kind of reaction is that?!" But her hands relaxed as she whispered, "You were listening, right? I said that I love you..." Her eyes shimmered as her expression softened, voice lowered, cheeks flushed, "As in...I'm in love with you."
The priestess's words were delivered delicately, as if they'd shatter if she stumbled and dropped them, "I tried to tell myself that it's wrong because you're just a good friend, and you're married. But, my stupid heart won't listen." She came this far, so Kagome continued unloading her feelings, albeit with confliction. The serenity of Yoh's face that flustered her a moment ago now emboldened her, "I tried to forget about my feelings, but I can't…"
Yoh listened to Kagome's confession, his face never betraying the slightest bit of repulsion. He was as placid, accepting as she spoke. "You found me, and you never gave up on me. Even when I pushed you away, even after I didn't move on when you thought I would, you stayed with me..." Her hand rested on her chest, as if she still had a heart beating there.
"You keep coming and coming to this place, just to take care of me. And it's been so much fun...that I…" The sight of the umbrella that Yoh gently gripped brought Kagome back to their rainy picnic. The misty downpour made her heartache. It made her long to walk beneath that umbrella with Yoh by her side. From spring rain showers to winter flurries, Kagome wanted to experience them all with Yoh. "I want to go on like this forever and ever."
Kagome knew that Yoh could connect the dots. He could easily draw the lines between her feelings and her entrapment. It wasn't just her love holding her back. It was the desire to be someone special to Yoh. It was the longing to be comforted and spoiled. It was a dependence. If she left the shrine, their meetings wouldn't be a highlight of her day, or any day. And Kagome knew that she could never have the place in Yoh's heart that she wanted. She couldn't be the arms that he fell into. They would never share the love-love umbrella that she dreamed of.
This was as good as it got.
And more importantly, if Kagome were to relinquish her feelings, she didn't know what would become of her existence. She wanted to continue seeing Yoh and her other friends. She wanted to watch over Higurashi Shrine, protect it, forever. For so many years, Kagome existed, bound to the place of her death, living and unliving in nothing but misery. What tied her to the well were her lost memories and the haunting feelings of despair.
But after Kagome became one with Yoh, she had a moment of clarity. In that instant, her entire existence as Higurashi Kagome flashed in her mind. From her life to the centuries that she spent sleeping to her meeting Yoh and their friends. Like the tides to the seashore, everything that she was once was returned to her. They crested and crashed into her. And at the end of the rush, nothing but love for Yoh was beached on the sand. It was all that she knew, the only thing that she was certain of.
All other prospects, from leaving the shrine to moving on to the afterlife, were all unknowns. And with nothing but the desire to maintain the status quo, Kagome dreaded what would become of her if she let go of her feelings. Without her desire to see Yoh, would she be able to stay in this world? She didn't have any answers. That was how she came to her conclusion. Asakura Yoh had to stop coming to see her. Asakura Yoh had to stop trying to make her happy and set her free.
If she felt completely fulfilled then she wouldn't be able to stay.
But if Yoh stopped coming, she could go on.
She could continue to pine and wait.
Her unrequited feelings were the key to her future.
This was the only way to ensure that she could stay as Higurashi Kagome.
'So, you can't keep coming here and making me happy.' For a moment, Kagome stood there motionless, on the deck of the well-house. The hand at her heart was covered and gripped by the other. Yoh's expression was mellow but thoughtful as her words sunk in. And Kagome was unable to maintain her gaze at him any longer. 'If you do, I'll disappear.'
"Is that all?" Yoh blinked innocently, curiously.
Kagome was whiplashed as her head snapped back in his direction. "Eh?!" Her eye twitched, "What do you mean 'is that all'?!" Her cheeks were pink with fluster.
"Ah, well…" The shaman scratched his cheek. "I don't mean to downplay your feelings or anything." His surprise and bashfulness suddenly cooled to his usual relaxed demeanor. "But that doesn't scare me. It doesn't change a thing." Yoh was unsure how to interpret Kagome's misty eyes, but he continued his rebuttal. "Like I said, just leaving you here is impossible. And now, I can't give up more than ever."
"But why?" Kagome felt an odd rush as Yoh imitated her and slowly ascended the short staircase. Suddenly nervous and self-conscious, the priestess took a step back as the shaman made his way to the upper deck. "I mean, you've done enough, haven't you?"
Part of the priestess wanted Yoh to say that he felt the same way about her. But as he reached the deck, she knew that her feelings weren't reciprocated. "It's not that simple," His hands went to his pockets. "This isn't about me, Kagome. Feelings are the source of a spirit's power, because spirits are feelings." Within a few short strides, the two were standing just shy of each other. "Longing is especially powerful."
Kagome's eyes widened as her mouth fell open when Yoh unraveled her plan. "I can't just leave you alone, because your feelings will bind you to this place forever." His eyes then softened. The warmth and sympathy in his eyes were crystal clear. His earnesty should have been enough, but that's not what she wanted.
Kagome tried not to be overwhelmed. It was so easy to be consumed by the moment. But perhaps that was just a part of being the embodiment of feelings. "You're wasting your time," the priestess told him simply. Her smile was weak as she stared at her feet. "I don't...want to leave this world just yet. So, I have to hold onto my feelings."
Suddenly, Yoh's hand was on Kagome head. He chuckled so warmly, "You're overthinking things." A smile spread when she finally looked up at him confused. "This is normal. A lot of spirits are afraid of moving on, but it's okay. You don't have to leave."
The priestess blinked, "But...aren't you here to help me move on…?"
Yoh's smile grew as he closed his eyes, "Yeah, that's my primary job. But I don't mind if you want to stick around." Kagome then blushed at his next words, his hand still rubbing her head soothingly. "I just don't want you stuck here all by yourself. You can cling to me if you need a tie to this world." The hand on her head ceased its ministrations, and Kagome felt pathetic when she immediately missed its presence. That very hand turned into a gesture for her own. "Just don't waste away here. The world awaits."
Yoh watched Kagome's expressive face. She was a tightly wound bundle of emotions. Just one poke would send her through a rollercoaster. Her eyes windowed her desire, the temptation to give in. But alas, the priestess shook her head from side to side, opting to deny herself. "I can't…" She whispered. "I'm sorry, Yoh, but I need you to leave."
The hand that Kagome longed to take hold of lowered with hesitation and a disappointed scowl. But the deflation only lasted for a moment. The man shoved his hands into his pockets and emoted an exaggerated sigh. His shoulders slumped before he smiled, still warm. "That's fine, for now," He conceded and made his way to the doors. He could feel Kagome's eyes watch him as he went. "But, I'll be back."
"Don't waste your time, dummy," Kagome countered half-heartedly. Despite her words, her lips still managed to their upward curve. It would be bothersome, but she was a sucker for Yoh's surprising obstinance.
From that day on, the spirit found another reason to despair. She clung to the feelings that bound her to the world of the living. As her dreams were haunted by fantasies that could never be, she continued to haunt Higurashi Shrine. Sometimes, she'd dream of taking Yoh up on his offer and becoming his companion. She'd leave her home behind and assist him with whatever he needed. Other times, her mind would imagine scenarios of her being alive and Anna being out of the picture.
The latter fantasies were especially rare and heart-warming while she slept.
But Kagome would always awake to feelings of guilt.
She felt ashamed of how happy she felt in those dreams.
S.H.A.M.A.N.K.I.N.G.
Manta was still by far the most diligent of the ragtag group. In his free time, he painstakingly coordinated and organized video chats with his friends for the sake of discussing their common goals. Even though he currently resided in Tokyo and consequentially was the closest in proximity to Higurashi Shrine, even Manta still had to return to his normal life. He could easily admit that uniting with his old friends again was the highlight of his year. And additionally, he was grateful that he happened upon the rumors of Higurashi Shrine. That single click of his mouse was the tipping of a domino and eventually led to bringing them all together again.
And sure, they couldn't stay forever. But some good did come out of it. Manta was alongside Yoh and Anna as they saw each of their friends off. Ryu and the Usui siblings departed from the same train station. The former, who still sported his pompadour, left them with a wink and guarantee that he'd come running if they needed any more help with Kagome. Meanwhile, Pirika bowed before giving them the sweetest smile, "Call me if you're going to throw another party for Kagome-chan, okay?" and HoroHoro grinned wide while pointing at himself with his thumb, "Yeah, you can count on me if you need anything!" Chocolove and Lyserg departed by plane and with a cheesy joke and assurance that they could come to him for anything, respectively. Ren was picked up by a private plane.
And unlike the others, the Tao was content to bid them a cool farewell "until the next time". He turned to board the plane, only to be stopped by Yoh calling his name. Ren raised an eyebrow from over his shoulder, his perplexed expression made the Asakura falter. With a sweatdrop and uneasy smile, Yoh admitted, "W-well, everyone else promised to keep helping with Kagome before they left."
"Haven't I done enough?" Ren questioned gruffly.
"Aha," Yoh chuckled while scratching his head. "I guess so. I just thought you liked her, so—."
Ren bristled, "If one more of you idiots say that, I'll kill you!"
Manta stiffened and whispered, "D-do you think he hates her?"
Anna was unimpressed as they watched the Tao board the sky vehicle, "Hmph. After all these years, he's still an open book."
That evening, Manta treated the Asakura couple to dinner at a semi-upscale restaurant. It was there that the blond man asked them if they would leave soon like the others. Anna merely focused on slicing through her steak as Yoh answered, "Not quite yet. There are still a few things that I want to try."
Manta met that statement with a nod, "I see. Well, I do have to get back to work but I'll still be around to help out when I can."
And that was how the impromptu holiday came to an end. Yoh and Anna still conducted shamanistic work around the Tokyo area as the former worked on Kagome's case. And Manta made good on his promise and visited Kagome when he could. Though admittedly, he had no particular strategy in mind when he did. He just felt keeping the spirit company. So he'd load Buyo the Second into his carrier, pack a lunch for himself and some cat toys, and make the day trip to Higurashi Shrine. Contrary to what he expected after reading about her haunting, Kagome turned out to be more than pleasant company. With her priestess attire, she didn't look the type, but she was not above casually sliding jokes and jabs into her speech.
His chats and time with Kagome were often brought up during the video calls that he arranged. The virtual chats were originally planned to keep in touch because the reunion at Higurashi Shrine reminded them just how rare it was to chat. But after everyone would provide updates on their current affairs, Manta and Yoh would often be asked how things with Kagome were going. It was usually Pirika who asked, but a certain Tao suddenly diverting his attention from his computer and to his phone told Manta that she wasn't the only one who was curious.
"Well, yesterday...I asked her if she missed her husband," Manta admitted guilty, he sunk into his seat as his eyes left the screen.
"What?!" Pirika shrieked as she jumped from her seat. Her cry was accompanied by a cacophony of gasps and other sounds of shock.
Manta didn't need to look to know that there were several shocked faces within those small rectangles. "I know that it's a delicate topic...but I thought her answer would give a clue on how to help her..."
"Mmm," Lyserg hummed as he brought a thumb to his lip. "That makes sense. How did she react?"
"Well..." Manta began as he flashed back to that moment. Kagome looked genuinely surprised for a moment. But she took him by surprise by offering a calm smile that resembled Yoh's. "Come with me," she softly urged him as she floated away from the well-house and across the property. As the spirit led him across the shrine, Buyo the Second gently batted at Manta's nose as the man carried him.
Finally, the spirit stopped in front of the Goshinboku. "I'm sure you know a lot about the Tree of Ages already," Kagome commented before looking down at the man. "But I want you to touch it."
"Uh, okay," Manta replied lamely as he gingerly placed the cat down. He got close to the towering plant and placed his palm flat against the bark. Kagome then did the same. When he saw the spirit close her eyes, the man followed her example.
The tree certainly didn't look inconspicuous or unlike any other tree of its kind. But there was something special about this one. The moment that Manta touched it and closed his eyes, it was as if the rest of the world melted away. For a moment, he caught a glimpse of something: the image of a young man in red pinned to this tree with an arrow. And standing a few strides away was an entranced, younger Kagome, dressed in a green and white sailor uniform.
"Manta," He could hear the Kagome he knew speaking as he saw more of the tree's memories. "This tree connected me to Inuyasha just as much as the well did." Manta saw Kagome crushed between the young man, the tree, and a ghastly centipede demon. He saw her reaching for the arrow. "And after all of this time, this tree and the well still remain." There was the image of Kagome crying beneath this tree. "They're still here, but... Inuyasha isn't."
The Oyamada was snapped from his trance as he turned to look up at Kagome. He expected to see her eyes glazed over with loneliness and regret. But instead, the priestess wore a gentle smile. "I've looked, you know. There isn't a trace of Inuyasha left on this Earth," Kagome told him. "Do you know what that means?"
Manta did know what that meant, but he couldn't find the words to speak it.
"It means," the priestess continued as she lifted her gaze to the branches overhead. "Inuyasha made me proud. He lived his life, and he moved on afterward." Her hands then clasped behind her back as she began floating away from the tree, "I can't say that I don't want to see him again. Someday, I want to see all of my friends again. But for now, I'm glad that I haven't seen them yet. It means that they're unlike me." The spirit then turned around and dazzled Manta with a brilliant smile, her hands still cupped behind her back. "There's no better outcome than this one, right~?"
"So she's single and ready to mingle," HoroHoro concluded, making Manta deadpan, Yoh stiffen, Pirika facepalm, Ryu coo, Ren blanch, Lyserg sweatdrop, Chocolove snicker, and Anna almost roll her eyes.
S.H.A.M.A.N.K.I.N.G.
The spirit truly found a new source for despair, a reason to continue resonating. As nothing but the feelings of Higurashi Kagome, she couldn't fight the tears. She couldn't stop herself from crying. Her mind was aware that she was living a pathetic existence. She was the reason for her own sorrow, but she wholeheartedly embraced it. She was willing to stare misery in the face if it meant ensuring her existence.
And throughout June and to July, Yoh made good on his promise. The shaman continuously climbed those stairs and indulged the spirit. He could see right through her and continued asking her to just leave with him. Kagome turned him away every time, but not without a dejected, crestfallen look or tears. Many times, they were able to laugh and chat as normal friends would. Other times, Kagome became overwhelmed and demanded Yoh's immediate departure.
"What are you doing here?!" Kagome asked in a hot tone. "I told you not to come here anymore, Asakura Yoh!" She yelled as she stomped across the shrine grounds to punch him in the chest.
However, the grinning man was accustomed to this treatment by now and easily caught her small fist in his hand, "I just felt like I wanted to see you!" He responded between laughs as her face flushed and she continued to throw a barrage of punches at him to hide her embarrassment. "Come on, Kagome! Am I not allowed to come and see a friend?!"
Kagome scoffed and glared at him, "You're not fooling anyone!" She told him in an accusing tone. "You have a very scary wife and the last thing that I need is for her to come after my head!"
"You mean Anna?" He laughed softly. "You don't have to worry about her! She's very sweet!"
"Riiiiight," Kagome rolled her eyes before sighing aloud and giving up on pummeling her visitor. Her hot air seemed to deflate as her eyes began darker, lonelier. Why do you...keep coming here like this? It's not fair to me, you know..."
[ 'If you touch the wrong spot, I'll come undone.' ]
Her question wiped the easy-going smile from Yoh's face as his eyes betrayed a glimpse of hurt. "Do you really want me to stop?" He met her question with one of his own. "I mean, you know why I'm here."
Suddenly, Kagome lifted her head and she was glaring at him again. Yoh was taken aback by the angry, hurt tears in her eyes. "I KNOW THAT!" She roared at him with clenched fists, a gust of wind violently blew at Yoh's hair and rustled his clothes. She panted heavily as tears raced down her cheeks. "But is that all that I am to you?" She questioned in a whisper.
The priestess inwardly winced. It was a hurtful inquiry. She knew very well that the last thing Yoh meant was to use her. He was so selfless that he constantly offered himself up to her. He was content with allowing her to cling to him as a tie to this world. But she stupidly refused the offer because it was not the place in her heart that she wanted.
Yoh raised a hand and wiped away the hot stream away from her pale face, "No... You mean much more to me than you know..." He replied in a whisper that made Kagome's heart skip a beat. "It's just that...if I acted on my feelings...it would be wrong."
Kagome sniffed and nodded in agreement, but she threw herself into Yoh's chest regardless and wept. She wept and wept and wept and wept. Yoh closed his eyes and held her close to him for comfort. He knew what he wanted to do more than anything... But, he couldn't. More than anything, he wanted to send Kagome off. But the last thing that he wanted to do was violate her wish. He was caught between doing what was right for her and making her happy.
To Yoh, there was more to being a shaman than sending spirits on their way. A good shaman would soothe and satisfy restless spirits. Despite Kagome's great spiritual power, there was indeed at least one individual who could overpower her and send her to heaven.
Between Anna's warnings and discouragement and Yoh's growing feelings of inadequacy, there was sometimes the temptation to simply be objectively right. There was one person he could call on who could put an end to Kagome's binds to the world of the living. But those rare temptations were easily thwarted by guilt. No matter how long it took, Yoh couldn't simply abandon a friend in need.
And so, they went on like that. Asakura Yoh and his unwavering will continued his attempts to coerce Higurashi Kagome into abandoning her inhibitions. He continued on, even when his friends went about their lives once again. Despite Anna's mounting exasperation and criticism, he stayed determined. At times, he was accompanied by Manta, when he was not overwhelmed with work. Other times, the latter voluntarily visited Kagome on his own accord, especially when he knew Yoh would be preoccupied with other matters.
Sometimes, the video chats were heavy with the weight of the world. Slowly but surely, a shadow crept closer and closer towards the center of their conversations. What used to be light-hearted chats, updates on life, and tales about Kagome became more and more derailed about humanity's latest blunders and transgressions against the earth. Their newsfeeds were overrun with articles on war, famine, political scandals, and natural disasters caused by human-fueled climate change. And naturally, their thoughts immediately went to the Shaman King, who was watching over humanity and its progress from the shadows.
Asakura Hao, now omnipotent and omniscient, surely saw it all.
Surely, he was taking all of it into account when it came to his judgment on the redeemability of humanity.
Every day, they received reminders that sooner or later, judgment day would arrive.
And they weren't sure if anyone was ready for it.
S.H.A.M.A.N.K.I.N.G.
The seasons continued to change.
And to Kagome, Yoh was one with the summer wind.
It had been centuries since she had a body.
It had been ages since she could perceive physical sensations.
Mundane, given aspects of life such as touch and smell were nothing but phantoms in her mind.
When she closed her eyes, she could only recall the imagery of summer:
Lush greenery, skies as blue as they were clear, silvery sun rays, and smiling faces.
When she imagined what summer was, Kagome felt traces of forgotten happiness.
The living truly did take living for granted. Only as a spirit did Kagome know the longing to touch and to be touched. Only as one without physical form did Kagome know the thirst for sensation. She couldn't remember what sand felt like between her toes. Nor could she remember the crash of oceanic waves against her calves.
Watching Yoh bask in the fruits of summer made Kagome long for those luxuries.
He was picturesque in all of his gentle glory.
He was the epitome of serenity as he napped on the grass beneath the god tree.
He allowed the breeze to make whimsy with his hair.
He welcomed the mild weather as the foliage cascaded over him in intricate shadows.
There were days when the shaman would offer his hand to her, when he would promise that she didn't have anything to be afraid of. Sometimes, the offer irked her; other times, it broke her heart. But every time, Kagome was increasingly tempted to accept. She already relied on him, and she wanted to continue relying on him. But even more dangerous was that Yoh made her want to take that leap of faith.
Thankfully, there were just as many days that Yoh stopped by just to visit her, keep her company, and maintain the shrine. Kagome chatted with the shaman as he voluntarily collected garbage, dusted surfaces, watered the god tree and the young sakura tree. She found the way that he took the initiative to tend to the shrine while wearing that everlasting smile of his incredibly sweet.
And despite his deceptively spacey demeanor and peaceful nature, Kagome could sense something dark growing within him. Beneath the warm surface of that smile was a silent anxiety that grew gradually day by day. It festered like oil in a growing boil. She saw the same buried unease in Manta's eyes on the days that he visited her. At times, both men wore a far-off look, as if there were pressing matters that they hadn't attended to. Despite being their case for months, Kagome could tell that those slips into the recesses of their mind weren't triggered by their desire to help her.
Rather, they shared a common objective that transcended their usual lives and jobs: a higher calling. It was if, behind the grins and acts of kindness, Yoh and Manta carried the weight of the world on their shoulders. The burden that they shared was greater than two people could bear. But for Kagome, who was not of the living, it was an apparent burden that she could not bear with them. Her lips pursed and her chest tensed as she watched Yoh. The shaman looked to the sky as he leaned against his broom.
The pinched smiles that Manta gave her when Kagome tried to pry into what was eating them were never reassuring. Yoh's smiles were more genuine, as if he truly thought that things would work out so there was no need for her to worry. But still, neither ever spoke of what put the strains on their hearts. "Yoh," the sound of his name in Kagome's voice brought him back to reality. His unconscious scowl transferred into a sunbeam.
"Ah, Kagome—" His smile was wide, cheeky, and a little embarrassed. "Guess I spaced out on you."
Kagome stifled a chuckle with a small shrug, "Not much more than usual~" That was a lie. He was spending less and less time savoring the gifts of the present, and more and more time troubled by the future. Sometimes, Yoh was not like himself. And Kagome wanted nothing more than to find out why. "Actually," her smile was small and hopeful, "I'm worried about you and Manta."
Yoh didn't seem surprised by her admission.
"I know you guys said not to worry about it," The priestess shuffled a bit. "But I can't help but worry. You guys are my friends after all…"
The shaman's face portrayed being surprised then moved. "Hmph," He exhaled a content breath through his nose as he smiled softly. Yoh rested his broom on the ground then joined the spirit, who was standing beneath the Goshinboku. The shaman rested his back against the aged, wide truck. "You know, Kagome…" He closed his eyes as he confessed. "I'm glad that you consider us your friends. Just hearing that from you makes everything we've done worthwhile."
Kagome mirrored Yoh's actions and leaned back against the tree. Spirits had very few physical objects that they could make contact with. She learned that incorporeal bodies like hers could touch only materials and structures that hold substantial meaning to their lives or deaths. Hence, this was why she didn't have to use her spiritual energy to manipulate the doors to the well-house. Back when she was alive, that small structure housed the key to her passage through time.
The priestess found solace in knowing that there were still places and things that were linked to her existence. It was comforting to know that traces of herself still lived on. It was part of the reason why leaving the shrine was a dreadful thought. There was no other place on Earth that had pieces of Higurashi Kagome.
"Kagome," the spirit blushed at Yoh's statement. "Looks like you're the one spacing out now."
"Sorry," the priestess scratched her pink cheek. "You're right. I ended up caught in my own thoughts so quickly."
"Don't worry about it," Yoh patted her head with his signature grin. "I'm sure whatever you're thinking about is one-hundred times more important than getting answers~"
Kagome bristled and turned to batter his shoulders. "Are you making fun of me?!" She silently relished in how Yoh laughed so lightheartedly and apologized during her half-hearted assault. 'Laughing and smiling...really does suit you better,' she thought as they straightened up.
"Anyway, the thing is…" Yoh was looking up at the leaves of the Tree of Ages, the overhead sunlight made them glow like Christmas ornaments. "I've told you about it before, right…? How the Shaman King is still judging humanity to decide the fate of the world…?"
The priestess nodded affirmatively. "Yeah… You told me about that a while ago…"
"Thing is, it's been years since Hao reserved his judgment," Yoh lightly expounded. Suddenly, his soft expression hardened subtly as his tone grew an edge. "And with the way humanity continues to live selfishly, there's the worry that Hao is growing restless and impatient."
"Even after all of this time, do you think he still hates humanity…?" Kagome inquired. Despite hearing much about him from Yoh's tales from his youth, Hao was one of the characters that she had yet to meet. As someone who always treasured and respected beings from all walks of life, the priestess couldn't fathom how one could be so hateful towards an entire species. Sure, there were nasty humans who committed unspeakable atrocities. But there were many more who lived as happily and peacefully as they could. To Kagome, one couldn't judge an entire species off
A low hum was accompanied by a slow nod, "And honestly, I don't entirely blame him. I'm not exactly a fan of humans in general," he admitted. "But I don't hate them. I just can't figure out how to save them...from themselves, or from Hao."
This was it.
Yoh finally unloaded what had been eating away at his psyche. And Kagome was sure that this plight plagued Manta and the others as well. This dilemma was at least on the same scale as her previous quest to secure the Shikon jewel and defeat Naraku, if not higher. But the wish-granting jewel was no more.
After a few moments of silence, Yoh turned his head to peer down at Kagome. As he predicted, the spirit's face was downcast from the news. That southern tilt to her head and those darkened eyes were exactly why he wasn't keen on sharing this woe with her. The shaman had made it his mission to bring Kagome joy so that she could pass on peacefully. The last thing that she needed was to know that the fate of the world that she knew hung in the balance. From the tales of her adventures in Feudal Japan, Yoh knew that Kagome was a plucky soul with a strong sense of duty.
She didn't need more reason to feel uneasy and unsatisfied with leaving this world.
But that level of protectiveness was before Kagome began pressing him more and more.
And then his walls came crumbling down when her eyes beseeched honesty from him. "You guys are my friends after all…" Those words melted him on the spot. They brought him back to the days of his youth, when he finally began making friends after years of solitude.
Previously, Manta privately questioned why Yoh kept Kagome in the dark about the current state of the world and he insisted that it was for her own sake. "You can't afford to keep her in the dark and continue playing house," Anna pointedly told him on another account. They were right, he knew that. Time was ticking away every day. But no one had ideas on how to change humanity and sway Hao's heart, so it felt like being caught in a stalemate regardless of how he spent his time.
Before now, Yoh was content to divide his time between working on Kagome's case and figuring out how to save the rest of the world. During this division, he'd shower Kagome with all of the happinesses that he could think of. But over time, the more pressing matter began visibly affecting him.
The shaman chuckled and smiled. Kagome truly wore her heart on her sleeve. He could imagine the gears turning in her head as she tried to brainstorm ideas on how to help him. It was sweet. His hand meeting the top of her head snapped the spirit from her internal deliberation. "You don't have to worry about it, Kagome," he told her gently.
And she reacted exactly as he expected. "But I want to!" Her hands formed loose fists, "How can I sit back and do nothing while humanity is in jeopardy?!"
Their eyes met, and Yoh could see how raw and earnest her desire was.
'I could just be looking much into it, but…' The shaman smiled wider. "Well, if you really want to help, there is something only you can do," he told her. 'I think our meeting wasn't a coincidence.'
Kagome looked understandably surprised to hear that. "Okay," She readily agreed. "What do you need me to do?"
Yoh shook his head with a secretive smile that came off as cheeky to Kagome. "You'll know when the time comes~." His cryptic answer earned him an annoyed, deadpanned glare.
Despite not receiving an answer to her final question, Kagome felt quite satisfied when Yoh left that day. He finally told her what was bothering him, which made her feel closer to him, and more reliable.
But before she knew it, the time between Yoh's visits became increasingly large. Over the course of the year, every day became every other day, and every other day became every few days, and every few days became…
Kagome couldn't tell.
Just overnight, the orange and yellow leaves that cascaded over Higurashi Shrine transformed into a blanket of white snow. 'How long has it been…?' the spirit wondered as she stepped out into the blindingly white world. She had no clue how long it had been since she had last seen Yoh, or the last time that she had been awake.
All that Kagome knew was that time had moved forward, and she was the only one left behind.
From the well-house roof to the birdhouses, everything was buried beneath a thick layer of frigid petals. Fascinated, Kagome floated around the premises. She unconsciously scanned the immaculate accumulation for signs of disturbance. She was both unsurprised and disappointed in no signs of life in the shrine. The spirit arrived at the base of the stairs, where there were no foot-shaped depressions in sight.
The priestess' arm slowly raised. She reached out gingerly. 'Yoh…' Kagome thought as her palm rested on the invisible barrier. 'I'm still here.'
Yes. She was still there.
This was what she wanted: to continue existing.
And yet, it wasn't as gratifying and easing as she expected.
Kagome heaved a sigh.
The sky was an empty, white expanse.
The ground was an empty, white expanse.
Was she just as blank and empty...?
Just existing wasn't enough, she concluded.
[ 'Yoh, I want to see you. I'm ready now...' ]
Kagome sent those thoughts to the Goshinboku everyday. She prayed and prayed that those thoughts would reach him somehow. She wasn't sure where he was or when he'd return. But she prayed and prayed that she would be given another chance, though she knew that she didn't deserve it. She had rejected Yoh's offer on numerous occasions, despite both of them knowing that she didn't want to. 'But...' she thought to herself days later. 'If he could come to me and be rejected so many times, I can wait for him one-hundred times longer.'
Through the cold months, the priestess was determined. It was a silly, selfish goal but she needed to know if her creeping suspicion was grounded. She needed to know if Yoh had given up on her. Each day, she forced herself to awaken and wait. Each day, she awoke with the dawn and waited until after dark. Sometimes, she waited by the stairs. Sometimes, she leaned against the God tree. Other times, she sat in front of the well-house.
Kagome waited during the flurries.
She waited during the blizzards.
She waited on overcast days.
She waited on deceivingly sunny days.
She waited.
And waited, and waited.
She waited until she no longer could recall what the last words she said to Yoh were. Nor could she remember what the last words that he said to her were. All she could envision was that warm skin beautified by sunset. She could recall that his hand was on top of her head as he always did, treating her like a child. She could picture his lips moving in her mind.
But what did he say back then?
As the priestess stared up at the Goshinboku, she tried to focus on Yoh's muted lips. She replayed them over and over again in her mind. There was no sound but she could read more and more of the movements as her mind showed them to her again and again. She couldn't make out everything but she was sure that he said…
[ "I won't be back…" ]
Kagome's heart clenched, but she didn't cry. She couldn't cry, not when she was the one who turned him away in the name of existing. She was the one who told him to stop coming to visit her to ensure that she wouldn't be fulfilled and disappear. 'This is what I asked for, isn't it…?'
Suddenly the spirit's attention was snapped from the snow-capped branches towards a few meters away. The distinct, soft crunch of snow trudging met her ears. She looked across the courtyard and was surprised at the person walking his way towards her. His strides were labored and awkward through the plush frozen carpet surrounding him. "Manta?" Kagome blinked before floating towards the man. "What are you doing here?" She asked as she took in his appearance.
Manta was tucked within layers of lavish winter gear but his determined, brown eyes were still visible between the brim of his hat and the top of his scarf. "Kagome, it's been a long time, huh?" He asked with a muffled, embarrassed chuckle. "I know you weren't expecting me since you haven't had any visitors in a while but here I am." He emphasized his last sentence with a "ta-dah" pose of his arms.
"It's good to see you, regardless," Kagome smiled appreciatively. "How long has it been anyway?"
"Ah, I guess you don't have a great sense of time," Manta surmised. "Well, it's been about five months since anyone's been here." With his close-eyed, sheepish smile, he didn't notice Kagome's initial look of shock. By the time he reopened his eyes, the priestess was smiling softly.
"I see, so it has been a while," Kagome repeated. "Thanks for coming out here. I know you must be busy with life and all." The spirit inwardly winced and hoped that she didn't sound bitter or sarcastic from her choice of words. She chose to say "life" instead of "work" or anything else that could keep someone preoccupied.
"Yeah," Manta nodded before giving her an apologetic smile. "But still, I feel pretty bad. Everyone ended up pretty busy all of a sudden and you ended up all alone."
The smile that Kagome returned was reassuring and appreciative. "Don't worry about it, Manta," she told him. "I was sleeping most of the time, so I wasn't too lonely," she was practically glowing as she lied through a dazzling smile.
She was unsure of the extent that the man believed her. "If you say so…" he said while his smile remained apologetic. "Anyway, I didn't have to chance to deliver this to you…" he stated as he struggled with reaching into his pocket. "Eh—" he bristled from his third failure. "O-One moment!" The puffy, oversized fingers of his gloves lowered his dexterity, turning the normally composed Manta into a bumbling spectacle. "Al...most…!"
"Got it!" Manta was pink-cheeked and flustered by the time that he fished the object from his pocket. It was a small cube covered in shimmering, gold gift wrap. When he raised his embarrassed face to look at Kagome, he caught a glimpse of puffy, pink cheeks and pursed lips just before she promptly turned around. He sweatdropped when a snicker and a hitch of her shoulders further outed the priestess. "It's fine. Go ahead," he encouraged in a deadpanned voice. "Laugh it up."
Kagome looked at Manta from over her shoulder. Her hand failed at hiding the wide, tickled smile on her face. And Manta couldn't help but smile in response. Her amusement was definitely preferable over that strained, misty-eyed visage that she wore when she first noticed his presence.
"Sorry, Manta," the priestess returned to face him fully. "By the way, you didn't have to get me anything, you know. There's nothing that I really need, you know?" She smiled.
The blond shook his head and insisted as he held the gift in his cupped hands, "I know, but I still didn't want you to be excluded." He then smiled, "Want me to open it for you?"
Kagome nodded, "Yes, please~" There was a glimmer of endearing curiosity and excitement from the mystery box.
Manta first fumbled with removing his gloves with his teeth. After a few moments, his bare hands were delicately lifting the tape and calculated folds that he placed over a month ago. The paper and tape were placed into his pocket and left a black, jewelry box in his hands. The priestess looked as if she was holding her breath as he slowly lifted the lid.
"Ah," Her eyes widened and her breath hitched. "That's—." She recognized it anywhere.
Atop a bed of cushy foam was a pink marble attached to a chain of braided rope and a charm. It was one of the Shikon jewel replicas that her grandfather used to sell as good-luck charms. Her lips parted and contorted to form words, but all that came out was an unintelligible gurgle.
"I, um…" Manta began with a bashful smile. "I was doing more research on your family and the shrine and stumbled across it online…" Admittedly, when he first found the listing proclaiming to be selling a vintage, Shinto good luck charm, he scrambled to buy it out before someone else did. But when he finally found the time to deliver the gem to Kagome, the excitement that he initially felt upon purchase devolved to doubt and jitters.
As much as Manta wanted to help Kagome, he knew that he was no Asakura Yoh: someone who knew just what buttons to press. As he trudged through the thick, sloshy snow, Manta wondered if he had made a mistake in his haste.
But all of that anxiety melted like winter into spring when Kagome's shock became a tender, nostalgic smile. "I must admit, this is the last thing I expected you'd bring me," she told him as her hands raised and slowly reached for the orb. They scooped and cupped the marble as if it were made of porcelain. "But…" The moment that she touched the orb, visions of her childhood and life at Higurashi shrine flashed through her mind.
She saw the shrine when she first moved in with her mother. Everything from the ground to the house was so much bigger.
She saw herself standing in front of the well-house as a small child. The child Kagome curiously reached for those doors and jumped when her grandfather suddenly warned her not to play inside.
She saw herself giving baby Sota the grand tour and playing with her friends there.
So many memories ran through her mind. And they all made Kagome long for one more chance to live that life with her family again. Part of her wished the gem in her hand was real and that she could make that wish come true. "I'm glad that you did." The priestess pushed away those wishes, knowing that there was no reliving the past. "Thank you, Manta," the gem was held to her chest lovingly.
"You're welcome," He beamed, more than grateful that his gift was well-received. "By the way…" Manta watched the spirit's face as he spoke, "You like Yoh, don't you?"
Kagome's cheeks flushed as she shrunk and shied away. Her body tried to make itself smaller as she asked, flustered and beyond embarrassed, "D-Did he tell you that…?"
"He didn't need to," Manta chuckled as he mentally noted the cute reaction. Kagome truly wasn't the traditional image of a Shinto priestess. But he still liked her as she was. He wondered if the hunch that Yoh shared with him a while ago was feasible. 'Could Kagome be the key to the future…?' The man waved his hand dismissively, "Don't worry. Yoh always had that effect on people."
Kagome sighed before she bowed her head, defeated, "...was it really that obvious…?" She felt nothing short of mortification at the thought of everyone knowing what she thought was a secret.
"Well, let's just say that I've seen someone else look at him with that dreamy face before," Manta answered as he remembered how Tamao was in their younger years. Back then, the girl was reserved and content to admire Yoh from the shadows, somewhat similar to as Kagome did now.
"Well, since the cat's out of the bag," Kagome continued cupping her gift as she asked with a slight tilt of her head, "How's Yoh been lately…? He hasn't seen me in a while."
"I was wondering when you'd ask," Manta answered with half, knowing smile. "There's nothing to worry about. Yoh is fine." Kagome looked somewhat relieved. "We all just had a scare about—you know, the Hao thing," he said while scratching his head. "And Yoh feels the most responsible since Hao is his relative. He wants to find a way to get through to Hao, to save him and humanity." Kagome nodded with a quiet grunt.
"Eh—!" Manta stiffened as he raised his hands. "T-That is to say! Yoh still cares about you a lot! He just has—!"
"Manta, it's okay," Kagome cut in with a grateful smile. "I know that you all have more important things to do. It's alright." She chuckled bitterly at herself and confessed, "Honestly, I lied when I said that I wasn't lonely. But it's my own fault really." She looked off into the distance and noted, "For a while, I've done nothing but indulge my own cowardice…"
"You know," Manta began slipping his hands back into his gloves. "Yoh doesn't see it that way." He recalled one of the last conversations that he had with the shaman before he went on another leave overseas. "He told me you're like a cute, little sapling." Kagome's cheeks lightly flushed. She could almost hear the words in Yoh's voice. "That, you still need nurturing right now, but someday, you'll grow into a mighty oak."
"That dummy…" Kagome murmured with a fond expression. She held the imitation jewel in her hands. "Saying embarrassing things…" 'I do wish...that I could help you, somehow.'
The lone spirit discovered that merely existing didn't fulfill her.
She confirmed the suspicion that she approached her afterlife the wrong way.
She allowed doubt and fear to control her, inhibit her from chasing a true reason for being.
And she went on, waiting and hoping to see Asakura Yoh again.
There were so many wishes that she wanted him to grant her.
And there were even more wishes that she wanted to grant him.
No matter how much she meditated on it, the priestess couldn't determine what she wanted to achieve when she finally met him again.
Kagome knew that her "I love you" wouldn't be accepted.
Kagome knew that her "I want to you stay with me" was too much to ask for.
But still, it didn't stop her yearning.
And so, she continued waiting and pondering.
What did she want to do with her afterlife?
What did she want from Asakura Yoh?
What could she do for Asakura Yoh?
Could she ever repay the kindness that he gave to her?
The priestess ruminated on thoughts of the past and the future, even in her sleep. And all the while, her feelings became to accumulate like the heaps of snow that carpeted Higurashi Shrine. And when the spring sun finally came, those feelings remained, like new growth beneath freshly thawed frost.
[ 'Yoh, I want to see you.' ]
S.H.A.M.A.N.K.I.N.G.
At her current state, the priestess spirit felt nothing but peace.
The cold void that once haunted her dreams was now filled with warmth.
And Asakura Yoh remained her eternal flame, feeding and illuminating her resting place.
It felt like it was ages since he last visited her.
But his visage returning in her dreams was enough for her to keep her faith.
As long as she kept dreaming of Yoh, it felt like there was hope that he would truly come back someday.
Even now, she could still picture his mouth.
She could make out the shape of his lips when he last spoke to her.
But what his last words to her still were a mystery—one that her fragile mind kept locked away.
She was sure that her ears heard those words.
But her mind didn't want her heart to hear them.
Kagome replayed the image of his mouth over and over and over again.
She tried reading his lips.
She could almost hear his voice.
[ "I won't be back for a while. I'll come back someday, but—" ]
'But..what…?' She found herself wondering that often.
Her subconscious pondered the answer.
Her waking mind meditated on that day.
'Yoh...I want to see you…'
[ "—when I return, I don't want to see you here." ]
The quiet tranquility of Higurashi shrine was disturbed by the faint voices of unfamiliar people. Kagome's eyelids twitched at the influx of sounds that periodically broke the silence of the once-sacred grounds. There were various human conversations, many voices talking over others. There was the distinct jingle of keys and the revving of heavy engines. The cranking of machinery made her incorporeal eyelids twitch and flutter, but she was not roused from her slumber.
The remnants of Yoh's soul still caressed her and blanketed her in pure love.
Kagome was still an earth-bound spirit, chained to the place that was once her family shrine.
But gradually, the nightmares that once tormented her for decades turned into the sweetest of dreams.
Her current dream was nothing short of ecstasy.
Her subconscious projected a scenario when all of her friends returned for another reunion at the shrine.
In her waking hours, Kagome was only sure of what month it was whenever Manta stopped by for a visit and update on life.
Time no longer bent to her wishes or her will. It only moved forward as her feet were buried in the ground.
But still, this was her happy place.
Her dreams became a haven, a reprieve from the boredom and loneliness of her solitude.
As swift and sudden as an airstrike, a heart-stopping crash jaunted and wrenched Kagome from her rest. If she had skin, she was sure that she would have jumped out of it. Roaring mechanical monsters and thunderous booms chorused behind the crash. It was akin to being startled awake by inconsiderate early-morning construction work. No. She was actually jolted from a peaceful sleep by construction work. With her memory of both time periods restored, the spirit immediately recognized the cacophony from the chipping and clatter of hammer drills piercing through cement to the distinct crashes of destruction from yellow excavators and bulldozers.
The spirit's foggy mind was initially tense from the sudden commotion. But recognition of the machinery and many voices attempting to yell over the noise brought her from the lingering spiral of nightmares into the realm of reality. 'What the—?' That was all that she could think before the sound of splintering wood and falling rubble made her heart sink to the pit of her stomach.
Even after death, dread was a creeping chill that left her feeling a nauseating anxiety.
Unfamiliar voices began bellowing at and amongst each other, barely audible over the cacophony of destructive machinery and the decimation that she had yet to see. "Are you sure we should tear it all down?! Some of the foundation and structure are actually salvageable, especially after that cleanup job!" A feminine voice called above the others.
'Tear it down?!' Kagome's eyes widened even more. 'The shrine!' Her mind was racing as she shot up from her resting place inside the well. Her invisible body fazed through the ceiling of the well-house with no resistance. She soared into the air and halted once she was well above the roofs of her old home. Her aerial advantage point gave her a clear view of the scene below.
The shrine grounds were overrun with construction machines ranging from mustard-yellow excavators to bulldozers. Amongst the towering, roaring machines, the hard, shiny helmets of the workers were just as easy to spot. For a moment, all she did was watch and listen in terror as the workers discussed plans to destroy the once-hallowed grounds.
"Yeah, yeah. I heard some random volunteers did a good job tidying the place up," A large, scruffy man with a bushy, dry beard stated with a ghost of a scowl. Despite his gruff looks, he appeared sympathetic towards the concerns of the woman with reservations. "But it's really out of our hands. Our client had their eye on this place for years now, and when they noticed that it was cleaned for free, they jumped at the opportunity to buy out the place immediately."
"Good riddance. I heard this place is going to be turned into a miniature resort and spa," a much younger man remarked with a snarky tone. "Japan has plenty of Shinto shrines. Losing an eyesore like this one is doing the country a favor," he squatted down and ran his hand across one of the cracks that Kagome's friends smoothed over. "Just look at this mess. Amateur work."
"What…?" The priestess hissed.
It was true.
It was amateur work that patched up Higurashi Shrine.
But it was that gesture of kindness from her friends that opened her heart up.
"What—" She glowered down at the youth, "did you SAAAAAAAAAAY?!" She saw red as she launched herself towards the group. She landed on the ground in the midst of them.
Kagome paid no mind to how her landing startled the group with a powerful gust of hot wind. The rims of their clothing and the edges of their printed plans flapped in the wake of her bluster. Many of the humans grunted, squinted their eyes, or winced from the sudden heat. It was the exact opposite of what they needed on such a scorching, summer afternoon.
"What the hell was that?!"
"It's like a train rushed drove by!"
"But it came from the sky!"
The priestess scowled, knowing that these humans were not spiritually aware enough to see her, despite being affected by her presence. Regardless, that fact did not quell her anger or stop her from stomping over the young man who spoke illy of her home. "Hey, you!" Her hands met her hips as she glared down at him.
The youth's smirk widened as he suddenly rose.
For a moment, Kagome almost thought that he saw and heard her. The surprise from her assumption caught her off guard and turned her anger into surprise.
However, the young man dusted himself off casually and suggested, "Alright. It's hot as hell out here. Let's just get this done so we can go home."
"Hey!" Kagome called again as he began walking away from her. He did not respond as he continued towards his colleagues. "I'm talking to you!" She yelled while instinctively marching after him and reaching for his shoulder.
Her small hand met nothing.
There was no sensation like when she touched Yoh, or when he touched her.
Her digits and palm simply phased through the man's body, as if he were made of air.
"Argh!" The young man suddenly stumbled forward, gaining the attention of many other workers. "The hell was that?!" He shouted, both fearfully and angrily. He peeled down his sleeve and exposed the blistering skin on his shoulder. He hissed in pain and glared at the spot.
The woman who had reservations about the job approached him hurriedly, a concerned expression on her face, "What's the matter, Otohata-kun? Did you hurt yourself?"
Otohata growled at the questions before righting his clothing and barking back, "No, woman! I think I'm getting a heat rash! Less yapping and more working!"
Despite the young man's disregard for her shrine, Kagome still felt guilt upon seeing the inflamed skin. The last thing she wanted was to hurt someone else because she could not control her emotions and spiritual body. For a moment, she looked down at her palms and wondered, 'Are these hands...only capable of hurting people now…? Was Yoh wrong about me…?'
Suddenly, she could hear Anna's voice in her head, 'The only thing the dead can do is curse the living.'
Kagome's hands dropped to her sides.
She then lifted her head and watched workers climb into their respective machines as others guided them with hand signals and megaphones.
'Could it be that...the more time that I spend stuck here...the more volatile I become…?' Kagome thought to herself as she heard the mechanic clatter of the machines moving. She saw a gigantic, metallic claw slowly descend towards the ground. 'Maybe…' The claw pierced through the handiwork of her friends and picked up a portion of the pavement.
'Maybe...it's better if they destroy everything…' The priestess told herself as clumps of soil escaped from the claw as its pilot lifted the metal arm. 'When the shrine is all gone...I'll disappear too.'
Kagome tried to convince herself that this was a good thing.
She tried to tell herself that the world would be a better place if she was forced to move on.
'The world doesn't need me anymore. I died a long time ago… I've done my duty. I collected the Shikon shards. The jewel doesn't exist anymore...' Despite what her mind said, the image of Yoh's smiling face was painful. She bit her trembling lip. 'No, stop it!' She screamed at herself. 'You don't have the right to cry—not after all that he did for you…!'
Yoh did so much to make her happy, to make her smile.
She couldn't waste his efforts with tears, especially over something so trivial.
There were probably countless spirits who watched their homes get taken over or destroyed before her. This was all a part of death and moving on…
Sure, she could rebel and fight back. She could scare them away with her powers.
But that was not how Kagome wanted to spend her remaining time on Earth.
All she wanted was to be happy—for Yoh's sake.
She wanted to show him that she was worth all the love and faith he put into her.
'But if...if I'm forced to leave on someone else's terms…' Her shoulders began to tremble. 'Yoh will never understand. Yoh will never know that his efforts weren't for naught.'
Her vision was blurry and hot as the distorted images of the workers and machines milled about. 'I can't...I can't let it end here. I'm not ready to go,' Kagome's tears finally spilled with that realization. Her hands rose to her face, shielding her eyes from the grimness of her helplessness. In the midst of the bustling demolition site, the priestess silently wept. 'Yoh...I'm not ready…! I'm not ready yet!'
The humans and machines continued their project, unaware of the priestess standing there.
Cranking, voices, crashes, booms, voices, destruction.
This was how Higurashi Kagome and Higurashi Shrine would meet their end…
The scene around Kagome faded to white as she felt herself being tugged forward.
Everything from the visage of humans and all of their noise faded into a blank space.
With no desire to view her transition, Kagome kept her hands over her face.
Even when it felt like she was suddenly deaf, she continued shielding her eyes.
It was like when she used to keep her blanket overhead when she used to think there were monsters in her closet or under her bed.
It was a futile, but comforting attempt.
Suddenly, a voice cut through the deafening silence, "Pardon my intrusion."
"Who the hell are you?!" A worker barked offensively.
Kagome gasped, her hands fell just enough for her to witness the scene. Standing across the way, dressed in another dapper business suit, even in the midst of the summer, was Tao Ren.
The priestess's eyes widened before she blinked, the motion pushing moisture to the corner of her eyes.
Despite his mildly annoyed scowl, his face was just as calm as his voice as he slowly approached. The man stopped short of the construction supervisor, who was distinguished by his plated name tag. The shaman then held up a piece of paper. "Tao Ren, the new owner of this property," He answered cooly.
While most of the workers only looked somewhat surprised or confused, the headworker's mouth fell into a shocked gape as he stared at the document. "Y-you mean you wanted this place badly enough to buy it out from that crazy resort tycoon?!"
"Tch," Ren scoffed before and walking past the supervisor and the workers. "Your work here is done. Leave now. You can come back for your machines later," he commanded of them. The Tao's beeline towards the spirit commanded attention and respect. "Now everyone's spoiling you, brat."
Kagome was frozen in place as Ren sauntered his way over to her, stopping just shy of her. Even after the man crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at her questioningly, the priestess was stunned into silence. No sounds escaped her dropped jaw.
"Manta got wind that someone bought this place and planned on turning it into something stupid," He looked left and right, frowning disapprovingly at the damage that the machines caused the shrine. He felt particularly annoyed that this happened after he and his friends worked hard on repairing the place by hand. Ren then sighed and shook his head. He turned his attention back to the spirit in front of him. She was still gaping up at him, eyes full of child-like wonder. "What? Don't tell me you forgot how to—?"
The man's inquiry was interrupted by the supervisor approaching and asking, "E-excuse me, Tao-san. But who are you talking to exactly?" The scruffy man's smile was forced and nervous. He obviously thought that Ren had a few loose screws.
Ren turned around and answered easily, "Talking to myself is how I sort out my thoughts." With a few casual hand gestures, he explained, "I'm planning a complete restoration of this shrine so I'm designing a mental draft as we speak."
"Yes, well," The other man replied with a chuckle as his posture relaxed. He seemingly bought the explanation. "If you ever need any work done, call our company," he stated while handing Ren a business card. With a tilt of his helm, the man offered a wide grin before turning and walking back towards his crew. "Alright, show's over, everybody! We gotta head back over to the office and talk to the boss about our hours today!" With those words, the supervisor ushered the workers away from their previous project.
Ren sighed.
He was more than grateful that the workers did not put up much of a fight or fuss about how he interrupted their job. Undoubtedly his canceling the destruction of the shrine would cost them days worth of work.
Suddenly, Ren felt a weak force push against his back, enough to get his attention but not enough to make him lose balance. He then felt a sensation that he had not felt in years: the feeling of being embraced from behind and small arms wrapping around his torso.
His golden eyes widened for a moment.
Surely he must have been imagining the feeling of a forehead resting against his back, and the warmth that enveloped his being.
There was no way this spirit could feel as alive as his racing heart.
"What…?" The question died on his lips without resistance. The raw emotion that Kagome's embrace made him feel was more shocking than the priestess' actions themselves.
"...Ren…" The sound of his name in her voice was scarily pleasant. Her words came out as tender and soft utterances. Before arriving at the scene, Ren knew that he was acting on a reckless whim—an inexplicable desire to protect her.
But it was only in this moment, where he heard her voice, as mild and vulnerable as a lost child, that he realized how much it meant to her—how much it meant to him. "...thank you—" The Tao could hear wateriness in the spirit's voice. "—so much."
Ren immediately recognized the heat radiating off his face, and it made him scowl and inwardly curse his foolishness. "Don't get the wrong idea," His normal cool tone carried a tinge of unease. "I didn't do this for your sake or anything," he disclaimed coolly.
Kagome, whose eyes were closed peacefully and lips curved into a soft smile, "huh"ed at the statement. She opened her eyes as she pulled back from the man, allowing him to turn and face her with his red cheeks and antsy expression. Ren answered Kagome's quizzical look with, "If Yoh came back here and found you gone, he'd probably be sad or something."
Kagome's puzzled face returned to its soft smile. Ren spotted the knowing look in her eyes and only felt his face growing hotter. It would have been easier for Ren if she reacted immaturely and that endearing smile leaned more towards a teasing one. But instead, her hands raised in front of her, forming an incomplete triangle as the tips of her opposite fingers met each other.
The priestess stared up at Ren for a moment, taking in his words and his facial expression. She recognized the defensive way that he crossed his arms across his chest and averted his gaze.
"Is that so?" She asked, her voice almost beaming with amusement. "Well, thank you nonetheless. You really saved me there."
The priestess was tempted to tease the man about his obvious crush on her. Even at his age, he was acting so adorably about it that she almost gave in to the temptation. But instead, she decided to spare him the embarrassment since he just saved her afterlife.
Ren placed his palm on the back of his neck and rubbed it. His eyes closed as he sighed at how pathetic he felt. Once he opened them, he found himself looking down into Kagome's eyes; they were summery with admiration and appreciation. He didn't remember the last time someone looked at him like that. "Kagome…"
Even the priestess herself looked surprised at his sudden use of her name.
Looking into those eyes of hers, her name just spilled from his mouth like overflowing water. Just as frightening as her name, was how his hands moved on their own: raising and resting comfortably on her small shoulders.
Kagome's surprised expression transformed into a mystified one as she stared up into Ren's eyes. From their first meeting, she could tell that while his demeanor was like autumn, his heart was like early summer. But even that knowledge did not prepare the priestess for his words.
"Look…" Ren told her, calmly commanding her complete attention. "As long as the shrine is under the Tao name, you'll be safe," the man vowed to the young woman. "But if you want to thank me, don't let our efforts go to waste. You're strong, stronger than you think. So stop wasting away in this place." He inwardly winced at his own wording, but Kagome seemed unfazed by it—she was too entranced by his speech, completely taken in by his words. "You can go wherever you want to…" one hand then raised from her shoulder and met the top of her head.
Her reddening cheeks were unfairly cute, almost enough to make him fumble. "So do it." With that said, the man removed his hands from the spirit's person. He turned around and asked somewhat rhetorically, "Alright?"
Kagome gave his back a nod accompanied by an almost inaudible, "Mmhm."
'Good…' Ren thought to himself. With his mission completed, he could now leave and get back on schedule. He almost couldn't believe that he put his busy life on hold to go and play knight-in-shining-armor to a spirit. But the relief that came with the sigh that he breathed told him that he understood how Yoh felt, and Kagome was more than another spirit. His eyebrows subtly raised when he noticed how the woman's gaze trailed from his face down to his hand.
To be exact, the priestess instinctively honed in on his right hand: the very one that blistered and scarred from Kagome's previous defiance. Curiosity turned into a flash of recognition into worry and guilt. "Hey, Ren…" without waiting for him to acknowledge her, she reluctantly inquired, "How did you...get that…?"
"Tch," Ren shoved his hands into his pockets in a cool attempt to hide the disfigurement of his skin. "It's nothing. I just got into a scuffle with a stupid cat." He inwardly winced at how he adopted Yoh's way of referring to Kagome.
The priestess recognized the reference and frowned, feeling dejected at the confirmation that she was the one responsible. "I'm sorry…" She whispered. Before Ren could further dismiss her misdeed, the spirit reached for Ren's right wrist. She pulled his hand out of its woolen burrow. The Tao was too dumbfounded by the spirit's boldness to speak. Kagome raised Ren's hand to her face.
The man's cheek flushed when the spirit's face leaned into his hand, simulating him caressing her. She rubbed her cheek against the scarred skin with tender affection. Her eyes were closed and the ghost of a smile played at her lips. "Your hands, they're strong," she whispered. "But so kind...just like you." A soft blue light suddenly was emitted from Kagome's hands. The light expanded to encompass Ren's accosted hand.
The Tao was in awe of the foreign but inviting feeling that emitted from that single appendage. It was a strange but addictive sensation. For the brief moment that the light lasted, he could feel his tissues and cells rushing to repair themselves. It was as if that targeted part of his body was stimulated into overdrive. His skin was singing. But the light faded within moments, and it took the blemishes to his skin along with it.
Feeling that her work was finished, Kagome released his hand, righted her head, and opened her eyes. She smiled up at Ren, "It's not much, but I wanted to thank you for all that you've done for me."
Still somewhat high off of the healing sensation, Ren's nod was subtle, "Don't mention it." And now, he would go back to his life, but he would leave with a feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment. His sleek, dress shoes clicked and clacked as they pattered over the pavement, then crunched as they moved and skidded over rubble.
Ren could leave Higurashi Shrine knowing that Kagome would be safe.
That was enough for him...
Step. Crunch.
Step. Pitter.
Step. Crunch. Step. Crunch.
That's what he told himself, but the Tao found his feet stopping after a few strides.
Ren wanted this to be enough, but he wasn't one to ignore his heart—not anymore. He was no Asakura Yoh and he knew that. But still, Tao Ren had to be true to himself. He was not one to leave unfinished business, nor was he was one not to speak his mind. He was unsure if he could truly make a difference in Higurashi Kagome's case, but while he was here, it was worth a shot.
Months ago, Yoh told him that Kagome could be the key to the future and all she needed was time.
But time was a luxury that no one had anymore, not even the dead.
"Hey," Ren suddenly called back to the spirit behind him. "Kagome…"
"...yeah…?" the priestess' voice was still like honey from the moment that just passed.
"I meant what I said, you're strong," The Tao told her. "So it's disappointing how you choose to spend your time." Ren could sense Kagome's shift in mood even without looking at her. "Nothing is worse than wasted potential. You could be out there, making a difference. Yet here you are, stuck at this old shrine."
"E-Excuse me…?!" He could hear a spark in her voice.
It was not that Ren wanted to hurt Kagome. And it was not that he wanted to rile her up after she almost lost her home. But Ren was no Yoh. He had to do things his own way. He had to speak his mind.
"But it looks like, even with all of that power, this is all that you're capable of," The Tao's words stung himself more than the spirit that was now glaring at his back.
"Are you looking down on me?!" Kagome's hands were balled into fists at her sides as she barked indignantly, "Tao Ren, don't decide my limits for me!"
Without turning to face the spirit, Ren responded calmly, "I've acknowledged your power, but that's all that I can say about you." Kagome was silent during his brief pause. "Because you're still here after all that's happened, the one who decided that this is your limit—" golden eyes curtly met blues as he glanced over his shoulder. "—is you."
Kagome flinched as she felt a jolt of electricity.
[ 'He's right…' ]
With those words, Tao Ren began heading towards the shrine entrance.
Kagome watched his back as he went. 'I can go...anywhere I want to…' Her mind replayed his voice to her, and her own inner voice played his words back. 'As long as I don't set limits for myself.' For a moment, she wondered if this was what Yoh wanted. She wondered if this was what Yoh wanted for her—the confidence to embrace and take hold of freedom.
'Yoh…' Kagome's inner voice spoke as her feet suddenly began to move forward. She followed the invisible trail that Ren left behind. 'I think I understand now.' She hurried her pace as her eyes spotted Ren nearing the grand staircase. 'The reason why you toiled away so dedicated to me, and the reason why you said those words that day…' The back of Ren's head was disappearing as he took the first few descending steps. 'It's because even though I'm already dead, you thought that I was worth saving. You wanted to teach me how to live!'
Kagome's light jog halted in front of the invisible barrier that restricted her to Higurashi Shrine. At the top of the staircase was the threshold that separated her from the rest of the world. 'Yoh, I want to see you. I want to see you so badly, but first, I'll show you what I'm made of.' Her eyebrows squared with determination as she stuck her right foot out. With no resistance, her sandaled foot touched the very first step. The priestess's eyes widened.
This was it.
She had taken the first step.
'I'll do it.' Kagome continued speaking to the Yoh in her memory as she continued taking step after step, each one a bit faster than the last. 'I'll do what I want to do, and I'll be happy.'
S.H.A.M.A.N.K.I.N.G.
It was only when Ren reached the bottom of the staircase that he turned to raise an eyebrow at Kagome, who was a few stairs behind him. "Oi, brat," He addressed her with a frown. "Why are you following me?"
It was then that Kagome levitated from the stairs and floated down towards Ren. "Well," She smiled as she wrapped her arms around one of Ren's. He stiffened when the spirit rested her arm against his forearm and answered, "You told me that I can go wherever I want. So I'm doing that."
The Tao fought the blush creeping across his cheeks as he grumbled, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
"I know, but I promise that I won't be a bother," She told the shaman as he was forced to reach for his phone with his unrestrained hand. "Besides, I could use a change of scenery. Just think of it as hosting me for a vacation~" Kagome finished with a charming smile and raised pointer.
"I'm a busy man, I won't have time to babysit you or play tour guide," Ren told her flatly as he messaged his limo driver to return to the property.
"Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be able to keep myself entertained~" the spirited insisted, knowing that the battle had already been decided the moment that she grabbed his arm.
A few minutes later, Kagome marveled at the luxurious vehicle that pulled up to the base of the stairs. She climbed inside after Ren, mentally noting how he scooted over to accommodate her, despite her not having a physical body to take up space. 'He really is a sweet guy…' The priestess heard Ren instructions to be driven to the airport and the driver's compliant response over the sound of her thoughts.
The ride was comfortably peaceful and silent as Ren proceeded to message his business partners and immediate underlings. Meanwhile, Kagome stared at the images of the new Tokyo. So much had changed since she last breathed modern Tokyo air. "Oh, wow," she couldn't help but smile at a lone vendor standing in a park they drove by. She read the hand-painted sign over the stand and smiled, "That guy is selling handmade taiyaki, Ren!" Kagome patted Ren's lap without breaking her eyes away from the window as she fished for his attention.
Seconds later, the small stand was no longer in view so Kagome turned away from the window and towards the man at her side. "It's kind of cool to still see someone running a small business nowadays~" Her admiration for the man was apparent. She then sighed, "Ahhh, it makes me want to have taiyaki again. It's been so long since I've had any."
The Tao cut in bluntly, "I don't even know taiyaki is."
"WHAT?!" Kagome shrieked as she instinctively leaned closer.
Ren deadpanned, "Keep it down. I'm sitting right next to you."
"How do you not know what taiyaki is?" She asked incredulously. Kagome's finger raised, "You know, it's shaped like a fish but it's actually a pastry that can be filled with different stuff?
"Again, I've never had taiyaki," The Tao repeated. "And I probably never will."
Kagome was almost pouting at that statement. "Well, that's no good. No one should live their life without trying taiyaki." She turned around and looked out of the back window. "Are you sure we don't have time to turn around?"
"You have no clue how swamped I am, do you?" Ren deadpanned at the inquiry.
"Fine, fine," The priestess relented with a soft sigh as she returned to a normal sitting position. She then lightly patted Ren's hand as he kept his eyes focused on his phone screen, "But we'll have some together someday, right?"
"Sure, whatever," He grumbled as he tried to not lock eyes with the spirit who was smiling at him. He told himself to focus on business, as he was already behind schedule. But Ren couldn't stop the involuntary blush when Kagome beamed at his response.
Her hands softly clapped as she settled, "Great~ It'll be a date!"
Authoress' Notes: I initially planned to have this as one long chapter to finish up this story arc, but, nope. There will be one more chapter covering this first, original timeline. But rejoice, this story arc is almost finished. I know we want to get back to the current timeline but finishing this one is important to the rest of the story so please bear with me~ Additionally, this fanfic has hit 500,000 words. Wow! And a special thanks to everyone who has stuck with me so far!