Chapter Nineteen: Heart to Heart

That night we attended the huge feast at the palace, and we were seated with Chief Arnook and the other officials. Aang was seated next to the chief with Momo in his lap, then me, Katara, and lastly, Sokka was on the far end. Appa was further down on the grand hall floor where he was given a giant platter of vegetables to eat. As I observed the other citizens around the hall, I couldn't help but notice how out of place I looked. Sure, I was draped in traditional Water Tribe clothing, but this culture was incredibly foreign to me.

Maybe it was because the Earth Kingdom was so much larger and variant? Every region had its own subculture to the point that neighboring villages were nothing alike. However, everyone in the Water Tribe seemed to be on the same page. Even Katara and Sokka, who technically lived on the other side of the world were right at home. I looked down at my plate which was filled with an assortment of sea creatures and vegetables, and my stomach gnawed at me with anticipation.

Katara looked at me, her brow furrowed. "You are going to eat this time, aren't you?"

I smiled. "Don't worry. Yugoda ordered me to eat; otherwise, she'd drag me back to the healing huts and force feed me herself."

"Good." She nodded. "You're going to make yourself sick if you keep going too long without food."

"Whatever you say, Mom." I folded my arms and chuckled.

Katara's eyes widened a little, and her nose scrunched at my statement. I guess she wasn't aware of her own behavior. While Aang and Sokka had been worried about me, Katara fussed over me like a mother would, and after more observation, she seemed to do the same with the boys, especially Aang.

Arnook stood and addressed everyone in the hall. "Now, I'm sure all of you have heard the rumors, and I am here to tell you that they are true. The Fire Nation is planning a siege against us."

Gasps and whispers erupted amongst the citizens and officials.

"Tomorrow we will begin our preparations, but tonight, we shall celebrate the arrival of our brother and sister from the Southern Tribe and honored guest from the Earth Kingdom. For they have brought with them someone very special, whom many of us thought had disappeared from the world until now." Arnook gestured to Aang. "The Avatar."

Everyone applauded, and Aang stood.

"Thank you." He bowed. "I promise to do everything I can to protect the Northern Water Tribe."

"We also celebrate my daughter's sixteenth birthday." Arnook gestured behind him. "Princess Yue is now of marrying age."

Yue, along with who I assumed was her mother and grandmother, stepped forward.

"Thank you, Father." Yue nodded to Arnook before looking out to the crowd. "May the moon and ocean spirits watch over us during these troubled times."

Arnook gestured to the other side of the hall. "And now Master Pakku and his students will perform."

An elder man began demonstrating various water-bending techniques with the young, male students behind him. Aang and Katara's faces lit up with huge smiles as they watched in total awe.

"Oh, Tashi." Yue stopped next to me. "It's good to see you again. I hope you're doing much better."

I glanced up at her. "Excellent, actually. Thanks for your help, and happy birthday."

"Of course." She smiled. "Thank you so much."

Yue sat next to Sokka, who proceeded to flirt with her.

"How do you know Yue?" Katara said.

"We bumped into each other on my way to Yugoda's," I said.

Feeling my stomach gnaw at me again, I looked at my plate and decided to try whatever this spotted, squishy creature was. It could've easily been mistaken for a mushroom, but it tasted fishy with a jelly texture. It was also very tart like it had been pickled.

Aang watched me with a frown. "So you gave up being a vegetarian too?"

"I need to get my strength back up." I took a sip of water. "Besides, I'm glad to know that your concern for animals is more important than the fact that I was starved multiple times and have spent the past couple of days without much of an appetite."

Aang stared at me with wide eyes. "I didn't mean it like that. I just…."

Katara looked at me. "Starved?"

I tightened my jaw and stared at my plate. "Doesn't matter anymore."

She placed a gentle hand on my arm. "Tashi, what exactly happened when you were captured? You still haven't spoken a word about it."

I shrugged her hand off. "I already said that it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

Katara watched me, but after a few minutes, she sighed and returned her attention to Sokka. Aang was also staring at me, and I could tell he was feeling guilty again. I just continued to eat in silence.

….

The morning sun peaked over the horizon, and the four of us rose to start the day. Sokka was the first out of our guest house. He had been enchanted by Princess Yue, and after choking during the feast last night, he was determined for another chance to ask her out. Aang and Katara were next, and they rushed off with excitement to train with Master Pakku.

With nothing to be late for and no love interests to catch, I, on the other hand, took my time getting ready. I put on the thin tunic of my new Water Tribe attire and left the thick parka behind. Tying my hair back into a simple, low ponytail, I stepped outside. The sun was a bit higher in the sky and made the frozen citadel shimmer like gems.

I stretched my arms over my head. Despite the looming threat of the siege, it was nice to finally not have to worry about traveling or running away from soldiers. I made my way to the outskirts of the city where there'd be plenty of space for me to practice. Sitting down, I began meditating and tried to focus on clearing my mind. With each breath, I regulated my body temperature enough that the freezing ground no longer bothered me, but my thoughts continued to be scattered.

Maybe I'm still holding onto negative energy like Yugoda said? I sighed and opened my eyes. Well, there's one way to get rid of it.

I hadn't been in a proper fight since my failed assassination attempt with Zhao, and now that I was secured behind the northern gates, I wasn't going to see a battle any time soon. Balling my hands into fists, I targeted the icy wall in front of me. I thought of Zhao and all of the torture I'd endured on his ship. My anger and frustration bubbled inside of my stomach, and I unleashed the energy out through my fists.

However, as I did, I noticed something different. Normally, I created a powerful stream of air that was enough to knock an opponent back. Now, the air felt much more compressed, and it burst from my fists in the form of tight orbs. The orbs of air struck the wall, creating two dents within the compacted ice. I shifted my gaze between my fists and the wall before dropping my hands to my sides.

"That's new." I furrowed my brow.

What had caused that change? Mulling over my previous actions, I noted that I hadn't done anything different. I returned to my form and air-punched at the wall again. Just like before, two orbs of compressed air sprung from my fists and created two more dents in the wall.

"Hey, that's not the Avatar."

The whispered words of a teen boy caught my ears, but I didn't recognize the voice.

"Even more perfect. It's that air-bending girl from yesterday. Time for some payback."

The second whispered voice I did recognize.

Hahn. Narrowing my eyes, I kept my back to them while doing a few stretching exercises.

"You're kidding, right? We're gonna be late for training. Besides, we can't fight a girl," the other boy said.

"We can if she doesn't act like one. She actually had the nerve to call herself a real warrior and thinks she's better than me. Come on. Let's show this little girl what happens when you play with the big boys," Hahn said.

Oh please. I rolled my eyes.

I listened to Hahn's footsteps as he increased his pace into a run. Once he was close enough, I spun to the right and tripped him with my foot. He landed face first in the snow, but before I could gloat, I heard his friend let out a battle cry and charge at me. I took a firm stance, and taking a deep breath, I thrust my open hands forward. A gust of wind pushed the boy back until he fell into the canal several feet away. An arm wrapped around my waist while a hand clamped over my mouth, and I was pulled backwards against Hahn.

"You think you're so smart, don't you, Outsider?" Hahn hissed in my right ear.

I kicked my right leg straight up, and my foot collided with his nose. With a loud yelp, he released me. I turned and saw him on his knees, his hand clutching his bleeding face.

"Ugh, not again, you little…!" Hahn continued to shout obscenities and ran off.

I sent a glare to his friend, who had just climbed out of the canal, and he cringed before running after Hahn.

"Boys." I shook my head and continued practicing.

….

"Ugh! Can you believe this, Tashi? This is so unfair!"

I watched Katara rant from my cozy spot inside of the bathing springs. She ripped each article of her clothing off of herself without much care for where it landed on the floor.

"Well, it definitely explains a lot on my end. I thought the guys I was dealing with were just jerks." I leaned against the edge of the pool with my arms crossed over the compacted snow. "Turns out this whole place is completely stupid."

This was the first time I had heard of a nation outright banning their women from bending. Aang's only gripe with me was how I chose to use air-bending, the Fire Nation was more than happy to have more hands to burn down their enemies, and while women didn't join the Earth Kingdom military, they weren't forbidden from mastering their element either.

"I traveled across the whole world, and for what…?" She entered the springs. "And it's not like I have the option to learn water-bending somewhere else. I guess I'll have to stick with healing."

"Hey, don't knock the healing thing. Who wouldn't want that ability? I'd be all like, 'Ah! My arm!', and then whoosh!" I swiped some water over my left arm. "Now I'm fine."

"It might be useful, but it's not why I came here." She groaned. "And the Fire Nation could be here any day. I need to be prepared."

"Don't worry, Katara. We'll figure it out. I'm sure Pakku and the rest of these sexist idiots won't care what you do when they're too busy eating fireballs for breakfast," I said.

"I suppose." Katara raised an eyebrow. "And since we're on the subject, Aang told me about your disagreement yesterday. Why would you sacrifice your training like that? You know how much this means to Aang, and you need to learn how to master air-bending."

I sighed. "I'm not sacrificing anything. If Aang doesn't want to train me because he doesn't agree with my way of doing things, that's his right. As for mastering air-bending, I'll find my own way."

"How? You two are the only air-benders left. You have to learn from him." She frowned. "I know you want revenge on Zhao, but–"

"Look. I'm not normally a vengeful person. When Zhao tried to kill me four years ago, all I did was lick my wounds and try to move on with my life. I never bothered to find out who he was or where he was." I turned away. "Then I joined you guys, and now it's like my past has come back to haunt me. Only it's worse."

"That doesn't mean you need to go through with this," she said.

"Katara, that monster killed what was left of my family, destroyed my home, and I would've been dead if it hadn't been for Jet, Smellerbee, and Longshot finding me." I treaded away into another side of the springs. "Anyway, it's more than that now. What Zhao's planning to do to the Northern Water Tribe, what he'd do if he ever got his hands on you, Aang, and Sokka, what he did to me while I was trapped on his ship…."

Tears swelled in my eyes, and I felt my anger churn in my stomach at the memories. Katara touched my shoulder, but I didn't turn to look at her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she said.

"No. It's okay." I wiped my eyes. "There's nothing to worry about."

"Tashi, you've been a rock since Aang brought you back, and even with Yugoda's help, you're still acting like nothing's wrong. I know you think that because you're the oldest that means you have to be the toughest and most mature out of all of us, but you're a part of our group. A part of our family. Your well being matters too." She swam around me, so that we were meeting face to face. "Please. We can help you get through this if you just open up."

"I appreciate your concern, Katara. Really I do." I turned away from her again. "But I'm tough because I've had no other choice but to be. That's been my whole life. And considering I'm turning seventeen in a week, I am the most mature. Which is why I can't tell you. You're only fourteen, and there are some things in this world that you don't need to know about, especially if I have any say in it. Cherish your innocence while you still have it."

Katara's silence indicated that I clearly underestimated her. When I turned to meet her gaze, her eyes and mouth were agape in sheer horror. Within a few seconds, she was embracing me with tears running down her face. Neither of us spoke a word. We didn't have to. We just remained there for what seemed like forever in a strange, almost telepathic understanding of each other.

Finally, after it seemed like the water was doing more harm than good to our skin, Katara said, "Are you… you know… in need of help? Did Yugoda check?"

I shook my head. "It never went that far. Can't exactly use me as a weapon if I'm put in a delicate condition. But as I already learned with Jet, there are plenty of ways to get around that."

"A weapon?" She furrowed her brow.

I pulled away from her with a snort. "Turns out our enemies aren't as sexist as our allies. Zhao was impressed by my attempt to kill him and struck a deal with me. I become his willing slave and get to live in the Fire Nation's perfect world. In exchange, I'd have to betray all of you and help him capture Aang. When I refused, he forced me into it."

"I'm so sorry, Tashi. I could never imagine. That's just so…." Katara put a hand to her chest and slowly gripped it into a tight fist while glaring at the water. "Do what you need to do."

"What?" I blinked.

"You have every right to face Zhao. Kill him if that's what you need. Do it." Her eyes were filled with anger and determination, although I wasn't sure if it was for me. "If I ever came across the monster that took my mother away from me…. Aang'll have to get over it."

"Maybe you can try talking to him? We were at a stale mate yesterday, and honestly, I'm not really that good with sensitivity," I said.

She nodded. "I will. You need to be trained. There's no other option."

"Thanks, Katara." I glanced up at the ceiling. "And how did you know what I was talking about anyway?"

"After my mother died, I had to take on a lot more responsibilities. This included helping my Gran Gran with delivering babies, so I have a basic understanding of what happens before." She raised an eyebrow. "So you and Jet? You actually–?"

I smirked. "We were two teenagers living in a tree house without adult supervision. Of course we did."

Katara's cheeks turned pink, and she glanced at me with bashful eyes while twiddling her thumbs. "So… what is it really like? You know, beyond the basics and without all the bad stuff?"

"Okay, that I'm definitely not telling you," I said.

She pouted. "Please. I can handle it."

"No way." I folded my arms and turned up my nose. "You already know enough for your age."

"Aw, come on," she said.

"Alright. I'll make a deal with you. If you get into a relationship and are in need of advice, I'll tell you everything I know. Until then, these lips–" I made a motion like I was locking my mouth shut. "Are sealed."

"Fine." She climbed out of the springs. "We should turn in. It's getting dark, and we're starting to look like sea prunes."

"My skin's already scarred. What's a few wrinkles gonna do?" With a laugh, I followed her.