A note to all I've changed Astrid's nickname from Valkyrie to War Maiden.
Astrid and the others were making their way down the corridor of the mansion to the bathroom. Astrid insisted that they accompanied her on the pretence that she wanted them to stand guard while she took a bath.
"I never thought I'd see the day when you asked someone to guard you," Snotlout teased.
"Snotlout's right; I could be back there picking Doctor Hogback's brilliant brain right now," said Chopper.
Astrid glared at them. "I'm more than capable of taking a bath by myself, but this gives us a perfect chance to talk without Hogback listening in."
"Yeah, we do have a lot to discuss," Fishlegs agreed.
Once they reached the bathroom as she waited no time stepping inside the shower. The boys, meanwhile, were sitting outside against the wall.
"I know I shouldn't, but I want to take a peek," said Chopper dreamily.
Fishlegs stared at him. "What? You do? Chopper, I'm shocked!"
"Yeah, that's the kind of thing I would do," Snotlout agreed.
"I'm not talking about Astrid's butt, you silly humans," said Chopper. "The thing I want to take a peek at is Doctor Hogback's awesome laboratory."
"Speak for yourself; it's probably haunted," said Snotlout. "So, Astrid, what do you wanna talk about that was so urgent?"
"That we're leaving as soon as nighttime heads," said Astrid bluntly.
"What?" Chopper and Snotlout yelled.
Snotlout then stuck his head into the bathroom. "At night? But it's scary enough during the day!"
Astrid then immediately hit him in the head with a bucket, knocking him to the floor.
"Astrid's right; we need to get out of here," said Fishlegs.
Snotlout stared at him. "I surprise you, of all people, want to go into a zombie-infested forest? I mean, this place is perfectly safe. All we have to do is wait for Hiccup and the others to show up. It's not that hard."
"Snotlout's right; this island is way too creepy for us," Chopper agreed. "I am not going through that graveyard again!"
Astrid then stepped into the bath. "We're not any safer inside than out. You did take a look at this mansion, didn't you?"
Snotlout and Chopper instantly went quiet. "Uh, no."
"Don't tell me you didn't realise that the decorations in the dining hall were a little strange," said Fishlegs.
It was true that the decorations in the dining hall were a little unsettling. All portraits had sought a patchwork motif, as did the trophies.
"I can guarantee that within Spook Central," said Astrid. "I'm willing to bet there are more zombies in this mansion than you can shake a stick at."
"Get me out of here. I need my brain!" Snotlout and Chopper cried.
"Personally, I think we should be more worried about Doctor Hogback; he's clearly hiding something," said Fishlegs.
"I agree, for example, are, really has nothing to do with this on these on this island. You tell me why they leave his place alone and terrorise everything else," said Astrid.
"So what do you think we should do, Chopper?" Snotlout asked, looking at him. "If what they're saying is true…"
Chopper just couldn't believe that Hogback was the bad guy here. 'No way. Are they saying that Doctor Hogback is working with the zombies?'
"Which is why we need to make an escape while we still have the chance," Astrid continued. "When I finish here, we make a break for the coast."
She then suddenly heard a growling sound, and she immediately sat up.
"You are a very observant woman," said a voice.
Astrid instantly turned to the door. "Did you guys say something?"
"We didn't say anything. Is something wrong?" Fishlegs asked.
"I don't know," said Astrid honestly.
She could see anyone in the bathroom, and just when she thought she'd heard things, she suddenly felt something grasping her wrist. It then felt as if someone was pulling her out of the bath, and when she tried to strike whatever was grabbing her with her free hand, it grabbed that as well.
Before she knew it, she was immediately pulled out of the back and pinned against the wall.
"What the hell is going on?" she said fearfully. "Is there anyone in here, is there?"
She then heard that same growling sound like an animal, and it was then she realised that there was an invisible intruder. 'No way…'
"You're even prettier than lasses on the ship," said the voice. "Fear looks so good on you."
"Who said that?" said Astrid; she hadn't felt this scared since her days with Arlong. "Fishlegs… Snotlout… Chopper…"
Then the invisible force covered her mouth, preventing her from talking. "Hush, my darling, or should I say, my bride?"
"Did you just now call for us?" Fishlegs asked as he and the boys opened the door.
However, the only thing they could see was Astrid pressed against the wall, giving them a clear view of her naked body. Fishlegs, being a gentleman, immediately looked away, but Snotlout looked at every square inch of her.
"Thank you very much," said Snotlout.
"Why are you thanking her?" Chopper asked.
"Instead of looking at her body, you should be looking at her feet," said Fishlegs, who was, in fact, looking at her feet.
"And why would I be looking at her feet when I can clearly see her—"
"Because she's not touching the ground!" Fishlegs interrupted.
Snotlout and Chopper looked down and saw that he was right.
"Damn them," the voice growled angrily.
"Help me, you idiots!" Astrid yelled.
Then using all the strength she could muster and assuming that her assailant had left himself vulnerable, she kicked him in the crotch. There was a sudden cry of pain, and moments later, Astrid found herself free.
She instantly covered herself and looked at the others. "What are you waiting for? Something is in here!"
The three of them looked around, but they could see anyone besides Astrid, but they heard something that was unmistakably someone stepping in a puddle of water. Chopper then transformed into his animal form and sniffed the air.
"Yeah, I can smell it," said Chopper.
"It wasn't me!" said Snotlout indignantly.
"Not that! It's a person!" Chopper snapped.
They then saw something opening the window.
"Do something! He's escaping out the window!" Astrid yelled.
Fishlegs quickly raised his gauntlets and conjured up a lightning bolt. "Thunderbolt Tempo!"
A lightning bolt hit the window with incredible force; it was so powerful that it shook the mansion.
Hogback was in the dining room when he felt the mansion shake. "That fool. Is he doing it again?"
In the back, everyone was looking at the window, but there was no trace of the invisible interloper.
"Did I get it?" Fishlegs asked.
"I don't know, but I don't smell anything," said Chopper. "Whatever it was, it's gone."
"But what was it?" Snotlout asked.
Fishlegs looked at Astrid, who now covered herself with a towel. "Astrid, you okay?"
"I'm trying, but whoever it was, they must have heard our entire conversation," she said.
"Sorry, but who heard what?" Snotlout asked, confused. "I still don't understand all this."
"There was an invisible man here, who clearly has a perverted mind," said Astrid.
Hiccup and the others, meanwhile, were still trapped within the giant spider's web.
"This isn't good; thanks to the gigantic spider's web, we're dead in the water," said Eret, who had tried desperately to free them to no avail. "No pun intended."
"Something's not right about this," said Toothless.
"Not like we can leave anyway, we have to fight Astrid and the others," said Ragnar.
"Normally, I wouldn't be concerned since Astrid is with them, but she doesn't have her axe with her," said Hiccup.
"Then what are we waiting for? Let's get going," said Ruffnut.
"Yeah, I'm dying to explore this haunted island," said Tuffnut.
Toothless was still very much concerned. "Even if that skeleton was a fluke, the fact that the Night Fury and the Mini-Tiger got tangled up in this web in the exact same spot is pretty damn fishy. Someone went through a hell of a lot of trouble to make sure when we entered this place; it's through the front gate and nowhere else. If they were going to make it that obvious, they might as lay out a welcome mat for us."
"Toothless, I know what you're getting at, and normally I would suggest that we leave this place, but we have four crewmates to rescue," Hiccup pointed out.
Toothless sighed. "I know, but still, we should walk with caution is clearly a trap, and we have no idea what we're getting into."
"Neither does Astrid and the others, in case you forgot," Ragnar reminded. "And we stand a better chance of altogether."
"All right, I'm coming," said Toothless as he went to join the others.
The three-headed dog that had been chasing Astrid and the others soon returned to the moat just as Hiccup and the others entered it.
"Why is there a staircase leading down?" Ragnar asked.
"No clue, but it's the only way in, so let's just go with it," said Hiccup.
"That hope we're luckier than these guys," said Tuffnut looking at the skeleton littering the ground.
"Shame these can't talk," said Ruffnut.
They then came face-to-face with the three-headed dog, which immediately barked at them fiercely.
"Oh look, it three-headed dog," said Hiccup.
The three-headed dog was rather surprised by this reaction, especially considering its last visitors were terrified of it.
"Check it out at Cerberus," said Ragnar. "Looks like the literary on the path to hell right now."
"It's kinda cute in a fearful sort of way," said Heather.
"I thought Cerberus would be bigger," said Eret.
"Personally, I find three-headed overkill," said Toothless.
"You think we can keep it for a pet?" Tuffnut asked eagerly.
"A three-headed dog might come in useful," said Ruffnut.
Immediately the twins began barking at the three-headed dog, which suddenly became rather fearful.
"We sure it's a three-headed dog, another three-headed chicken?" Toothless asked.
The three-headed dog immediately gained its composure and barked at them harshly, but none of them were the least bit frightened.
"It's only got riled up all of a sudden," said Hiccup.
"Maybe one of the heads remembered that they're supposed to be brave," said Ragnar.
"It is possible," said Heather.
"Anyway…" said Toothless as he reached for his blades.
"Nope!" said the twins.
"This thing is ours," said Ruffnut.
"Yeah, we don't want you to kill it," said Tuffnut.
"You guys do realise it's not a regular dog," said Hiccup.
"How different could it be?" Ruffnut frowned.
"Come on, who is a good boys," said Tuffnut and extended his hand. "Shake…"
The three-headed dog then bit down on him with all three mouths. Ruffnut was completely shocked, while everyone else wasn't.
"So I'm assuming we all saw this moment coming," said Eret.
"What big strong teeth you have," said Tuffnut patting one of the snouts with his free hand.
"Now let go of Uncle Tuffnut's head; that's a good boys," Ruffnut ordered.
Hiccup realising that he had to intervene, he quickly jumped in and punched the three-headed dog so hard it crashed into the wall of the moat.
"Now sit," Hiccup ordered.
"Well, that just happened," said Ragnar.
When the three-headed dog regained consciousness and became very docile, especially to Hiccup, the twins didn't really care and just merely sat on its back happily.
"The poor thing's body is pretty beaten up; as a prize, you can still walk around like that," Heather noted.
"I wonder what crazy quack but this thing together?" Ragnar wondered. "Because whoever it was, they can't tell the difference between a dog head and a fox head."
"Well, if this is the first creature we've met on this island, I can't wait to see what other stuff we run into," said Ruffnut.
"Yeah, maybe the next one will be even crazier than a three-headed dog," said Tuffnut excitedly.
The three-headed dog just merely lowered its three heads in shame.
"Cerberus does seem pretty down in the mouth," Heather observed.
"Heather, don't pity him; it just makes him feel worse," said Toothless.
"Them," Hiccup corrected.
"How about we focus our efforts on finding Astrid and the others?" Ragnar suggested. "We can concern ourselves with the local wildlife later."
"Finding maybe a little bit difficult," said Eret as he looked around, barely able to see past the thick fog. "I'm all turned around in this fog; it's like a maze full of creepy."
"We were able to see some kind of mansion in the centre of the island; perhaps we should try searching there first," Hiccup suggested.
"All well and good, but where is it?" Eret asked as he looked around. "I mean, normally have a good sense of direction, but I can barely see anything in this super dense fog."
"With so much fog everywhere, for all we know, we might be going in circles," said Heather.
"Hey, I see something," said Hiccup.
Everyone immediately looked ahead what they saw was even more bizarre than a three-headed dog. There they saw a tree with a man's face pouring a drink to what appeared to be a unicorn.
"A tree with some geezer's face is totally getting drunk with a beta unicorn?" said Tuffnut.
Then to no one's surprise, the twins immediately chased after the tree and the unicorn.
"Leave me alone already, you crazy kid!" the tree yelled at Tuffnut.
"I'm going to make a wish on you whether you like it or not!" Ruffnut yelled as she chased after the unicorn.
It took some wrangling, but eventually, the twins were able to catch their prey.
"Look at what I caught," they said in unison.
"Please just let me go!" the tree pleaded.
Unicorn tried desperately to free itself from Ruffnut, who had lassoed it with a rope.
"So, what do you two intend to do with these guys?" Toothless asked.
"Don't tell me," Ragnar groaned.
"Can they join our pirate crew?" they asked in unison.
"No!" said Hiccup bluntly.
Outside the mansion, just below the bathroom, the invisible man with limping away.
"That was too close," he growled.
"You're here, right Absalom?" Hogback asked as he emerged from behind a tree. "I can never damn tell. What was all that ruckus? Were you peaking on a bathing beauty again?"
"I'm on the hunt for a bride, Hogback," said Absalom, the invisible man. He then reappeared, but it was so dark within the shadows that no one could see his face. "The blonde, I quite fancy her. I'll make her mind soon enough."
"I hate to burst your bubble, but you shouldn't go marrying the golden goose," Hogback warned.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Suddenly appearing alongside Hogback was a ghost, the same one that had spied on the Dragon Riders on their ship.
"We have nine guests with bounties on their heads this time, including the girl you like," the ghost informed him. "Her captain is worth 300 million Gil."
"300 million?" said Absalom stunned. "You don't seem very worried, Perona; if his bounty is that high, we can assume that he is one tough customer."
"If you understand that, then you know you have to go all out on this one, and that means no chasing skirts," said Hogback strictly. "Looks like we're going to have ourselves a busy night tonight."
Meanwhile, back in the mansion, Astrid was now fully clothed, and they were making their way down the corridor to discuss what had just transpired in the bathroom.
"Invisible men don't exist, Astrid, end of discussion!" said Snotlout firmly.
"Then what accosted me back there?" Astrid glared.
"You probably just imagined it, okay. I bet clammy invisible hands are a really common delusion."
"I didn't imagine if you muttonhead!" Astrid snapped angrily.
"Snotlout, in case you forgot, we all saw Astrid being lifted off the ground when we entered the bathroom," Fishlegs reminded him.
"I was a little bit more preoccupied looking at Astrid's body," Snotlout admitted as he re-envisioned Astrid's naked body in his mind.
Astrid then immediately punched him in the gut. "We already have one pervert on the loose we don't need another!"
Snotlout rubbed his chest and looked up at Astrid. "I'm willing to believe that everything we've seen on this island isn't real. The invisible man was just a draft, the ghosts were weird birds, and those armies were just some… uh, underground tribe."
"Sounds like you need to convince yourself more than us," said Fishlegs.
"We ran into a fiddle-playing skeleton, who was brought back to life a Devil Fruit, but he was an exception. No, too; Devil Fruits in the world work the same; if his fruit bought him back to life, then he is the only one, so zombies and ghosts and all the other horrible stuff around here are impossible. Right, Chopper."
Chopper looked as if he had been trapped with his own thoughts but snapped back to reality when Snotlout addressed him.
"Come on, back me up here," Snotlout said in a half-pleading voice. "The creatures we saw, there is no natural explanation for them, so they can't be real."
"If you're looking at this from a medical point of view, then your correct, Snotlout," Chopper agreed. "There should be an explanation for all this stuff, but there again, if Doctor Hogback thought his work on the island was important to leave the whole life behind, maybe the natural order of things has turned upside down on this island."
"That's not what I wanted to hear," said Fishlegs.
"If Hiccup were here, he would look for the more rational explanation, I'm sure," said Fishlegs. "It could be possible that someone's Devil Fruit is at work on this island, like one that is able to bring back the dead or something or perhaps able to create vivid illusions."
"One thing is for sure, Doctor Hogback must be the centre of all of it," said Astrid and looked at Chopper. "Chopper, I'm sorry to tell you this but don't think he's the hero you make him out to be."
"Doctor Hogback is an amazing man and a medical titan!" Chopper snapped. "I think he's incredible! How can you think of the worst of him? We don't know if he's friends with those zombies! You can't prove anything!"
"I may not be able to prove that he's got something to do with those zombies, but he was acting rather suspiciously," said Astrid. "First, he denied you a tour of his lab rather strongly, and he was lying about Skull; you saw how sweaty he went the moment Snotlout mentioned him."
"I think this is the worst argument ever," said Snotlout. "Can't you guys just agree to disagree?"
"All right, let's go and ask Doctor Hogback what he thinks. How does that sound?" said Chopper and walked off before any of them could reply.
"That sounds horrible to me," said Snotlout following him.
Fishlegs looked at Astrid. "Should we follow them?"
"If we want answers, Hogback is the only person who can give them," said Astrid.
Fishlegs sighed and went after Snotlout and Chopper. "I wish Hiccup and the others would get here quick."
Astrid looked at the portrait next to her, which showed a man in a merchant captain outfit. "I know I can't base it on anything, but I don't trust that Hogback."
She then walked off after the others, not noticing that the portrait's eyes followed her as she walked by.
The corridors were rather gloomy, and the only light source they had was the candlestick Astrid was holding.
"I'm pretty sure I know, but I have to ask," said Astrid.
"What is it, Astrid?" Chopper asked.
"Isn't this the room where we just ate dinner in?" she asked as they entered a room.
"Yeah," said Fishlegs as he looked around. "So how come it's pitch black in here?"
Sure enough, they were in the dining room, but the candles on the chandelier had been blown out, leaving the entire room in darkness.
"Cindry! You around?" Snotlout called.
"Doctor Hogback, can you hear me?" Chopper called.
"Yeah, we're done with the bathroom," said Astrid.
There was no reply which was a little unnerving; the mansion was even scarier in darkness.
"Anybody home?" Fishlegs quivered.
"Hello, calling Doctor Hogback!" Chopper yelled.
Then instantly, the candles on the chandelier lit up, filling the room with light once more, making them all jump.
"I'm afraid the Doctor and Cindry have called it a day," said a voice above them.
They quickly looked up and saw hanging from the chandelier was Hildon.
"Wait, Hildon?" Snotlout stared. "Why, you little—What's the big idea ditching our carriage in the middle of a scary graveyard!"
"I feel bad about that; out of nowhere, I really have to go to the bathroom," said Hildon honestly. "You know how it is?"
"So you went without telling us and took the horses with you leaving us in the middle of a zombie graveyard?" Astrid asked dubiously. "Excuse us if we find that rather hard to believe. Admit it, you're in league with those zombies."
"You say such awful things about poor Hildon?" said Hildon indignantly. He then spread his arms and flew up to the top of the staircase. "But enough of that unpleasantness if you follow me to the guest rooms."
"So if you don't turn us into zombie food at first try try again?" Snotlout scoffed.
"You also neglected to mention that you are able to fly," Fishlegs added.
"You honestly believe that we can trust anything you say any more?" Astrid glared. "We are leaving here right now, and there's nothing you can do about it!"
"Wait a minute, just let me straighten things out with Doctor Hogback," Chopper pleaded.
Hildon looked a bit nervous. Clearly, things were not transpiring as he had hoped.
"It looks like you bungled it, Hildon," said a woman's voice.
"W-who said that?" Chopper asked, looking around, but saw no one. "Hello!"
"You don't have to be so mean to me," said Hildon. "I'll take them to their rooms, okay."
"I think it's a little late for that," said the woman's voice.
Their eyes widened as they saw the source of the voice was none other than one of the paintings.
"These three have noticed far too much around here," she continued. "We can't risk them telling anyone about us."
"I-I don't believe it," Chopper gasped.
"The painting…" Fishlegs gulped.
"… is having a conversation with us, like its people!" Snotlout stared.
"That's because it's a zombie," said Astrid.
The female portrait chuckled, and her upper torso began to emerge from the painting, scaring them to no end.
"You're shaking like leaves on a tree," she smiled. "How adorable. Want to know a secret? You're so cute that I can swallow you whole right now!"
She then launched herself at them, making them scream, and she grabbed Chopper.
"Let's go him!" Astrid demanded and rushed to his rescue.
"The painting is trying to eat, Chopper!" Snotlout yelled.
"I can see that," said Fishlegs.
"I don't want to be eaten!" Chopper cried as the painting retreated back into her frame.
"Don't worry, I'm coming!" Astrid yelled and quickly grabbed his legs.
She then pulled with all her might to free him from the painting's grasp.
"At a girl, Astrid! Keep pulling!" Snotlout cheered.
"You've almost got him!" said Fishlegs.
"You two could help, you know!" Astrid snapped.
However, before Fishlegs or Snotlout could do anything, they heard movement behind them. They spun around and jumped to one side just in time to dodge a spinning sword that would have skewered them. They looked up to where the sword had come from and saw the pig trophy smiling down at them menacingly with a sword in its hoof.
"It is not the painting that you have to worry about, but I do great, Oinkchuck," it said. "You fools would never leave this room alive again, so just get that out of your heads."
"That mounted pig head on the wall is talking too, and it threw a sword," said Snotlout.
"I noticed," Fishlegs gulped. "Uh, Astrid, we're in a spot of trouble."
If the living paintings and trophies weren't enough, the bear rug under their feet began to move.
"Is that a sword?" it said as it rose up. "Okay, who's the wise guy that scabbed the bearskin!"
"Astrid was right. This place is wall-to-wall zombies, even the decorations!" Snotlout panicked.
As the bear rug sat up, Fishlegs was thrown off its back, and Snotlout jumped off, grabbing the chandelier.
"What are you doing?" Astrid asked, looking up at Snotlout.
Snotlout swung the chandelier and removed one of the candles. "Here it comes! Eat this. You build the undead rug!"
He then tossed the candle at the zombie, and it immediately set it alight.
"I can't believe it; he threw a candle at me," the rug panicked as he attempted to put out the flames, only igniting his paws. "Seriously, who does that?"
The other portrait began to spring to life, and they panicked upon seeing the flames.
"We've got a fire!"
"The guy on the chandelier didn't!"
"Let's throw candles at him and see how he likes it!"
Snotlout removed all the other candles. "Oh no, you don't, because I know your weakness foul millions of the underworld. The power of the Snot propels you!"
He then shacked the candles down onto the zombies, and they immediately began to panic. The painting that had grabbed Chopper had now released him when her portrait was set ablaze.
"Astrid, Chopper, help me open the door!" Fishlegs yelled as he dashed to the door. "We need to get out of here!"
"I don't care about Doctor Hogback anymore! I want to leave!" Chopper cried as they dashed the door.
"Hurry up and open it!" Snotlout yelled as he jumped down from the chandelier.
Astrid and the others attempted to open the door, but it was bolted shut.
"It won't budge!" Astrid yelled.
"You're kidding," said Snotlout.
"No, we're really trapped in here!" Fishlegs panicked.
The bear rug then emerged from the doorway. "How dare you set me on fire, you dumb little pyro."
The zombie portraits then emerge from the doorway, looking rather angry.
"You're not getting away that easy."
Astrid remained strong, holding the sword that Oinkchuck had tossed at the zombies while the others panicked.