Last night, I encountered a slight problem in the middle of the night: the urgent need to use the bathroom.
I'm sure everyone has experienced waking up abruptly due to bodily needs. Some might have faced more long and hard issues in that regard. But let's not dwell on that; my stomach might be upset from the crusader's cooking, not that I intend to insult her culinary skills.
Perhaps meat and alcohol don't mix well...
I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. Despite the absence of any light or candles to assist me, I squinted my eyes. Though I considered using Night Vision, I felt too lazy to bother with it.
Upon arriving at the bathroom, I realized the door had been slightly open. I opened it all the way and was taken aback to see someone sitting on the toilet. It was the only other person besides me who used this bathroom.
As soon as the door opened, she noticed me and appeared about to scream. I quickly covered her mouth with my hand.
"Eek!" Darkness let out a yelp of terror.
Why did I always end up in such situations with her?!
"You're lucky I don't have my night vision on. Just don't scream, okay?" I quietly spoke to her, unable to see her entire view on the toilet. However, the moonlight illuminated both of us, offering a glimpse of her slightly messy but straight blonde hair and only her reddish face.
She also appeared to have teary eyes in her current situation.
Thankfully, everything below the bottom was dark.
"Thankfully, we are the only two who uses the bathroom. So no one else should be awake in the middle of the night."
Just as I said that, I heard incoming footsteps, which could be either Megumin or Aqua.
"Man, I'm hungry. What should I eat..."
The footsteps eventually became more distant.
Of course, the reason I wasn't found out was that I had closed the bathroom door, locking both of us in.
Finally, I let go of my hands from Darkness's lips, and that's when I noticed a small bit of wetness on my left palm.
"You erotic bastard! You licked my hand!" I loudly whispered at her, as quietly as I could.
"N-No! That wasn't the cause! You see... in my current situation.. being held captive by you in a small room, locked away with other people unaware of our situation... kinda turned me on..." She looked down, filled with shame.
"Night Vision!"
"Ah!"
To even the score and with a slight motive for revenge, I activated my night vision to playfully tease her a bit.
Thankfully, she was wearing her pink nightgown, the one she always wore every night.
"Now we're even." Instinctively, I wiped her saliva off my chest, only then realizing that I had no shirt on at the moment.
"Eek! I forgot I was shirtless. Quick, hand me the toilet paper."
"You're the one with night vision!" She refuted my playful teasing. "D-Did you just wipe my precious saliva on yourself!" Her brain finally processed what had just happened, and now she was even more flustered than before.
"I swear I had no intention to do anything dirty with it."
Yet.
Maybe.
"Uuuu... You really are a perverted brute taking advantage of a defenseless woman.."
False accusations!
"You should've locked the bathroom door before you sat on the toilet. Unless you purposely did this every night in hopes of intertwining with me. Perhaps you thought of every single scenario and what to do if we crossed paths in the bathroom. That aside, it seems we're out of toilet paper."
I looked at the handle and noticed an empty roll.
"It's behind me." Darkness then realized something horrible.
"K-Kazuma.. I would get it for you but I can't see. Even if I stood up, your night vision would definitely see my innocent body."
Oh brother.
"That means I have to climb over you to get it." I immediately went to work, attempting to climb over her by planting my foot on her thighs.
"H-Hey, don't move! I'll fall! Aqua will definitely hear us and send me to the heavens!"I warned her that I had to go back to the ground before losing my balance.
"You're only in your underwear, I bet. I don't want your... c-crotch in my face.."
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
"I have an idea. Just wipe it on my clothes. It's my saliva and my clothes anyway." She suggested, and I could see her eyes closing in anticipation, her body squirming and fidgeting.
I had a bad feeling about this, but I felt like I had no choice.
"Don't you dare have any dirty thoughts about this."
I wiped my palm onto her clothing, specifically on her shoulders. I knew she would definitely try to punch me despite her current position right now.
"Ah.."
"Why are you making lewd noises?! I just slightly wiped it off your shoulders."
"S-Sorry... Also, I'm finished." Darkness went to reach for the toilet paper, but to her dismay, there was none left on the holder.
Both of us stood in silence, knowing what to do next.
"I'm going for it.."
"Please do."
In the end, I had to climb onto Darkness, doing my best not to fall or accidentally shove myself into her face.
"Thank you.." She shamefully whispered in such a defeated tone that I almost felt bad for her if she didn't have her crazy personality.
I looked away as she cleaned herself up.
As she was cleaning herself up, I just realized something.
"W-Wait a minute, why didn't you just use Steal to get the toilet paper?! This whole situation could've been avoided if you used it!"
It seemed that both of our intelligence were on the same equilibrium that night.
In order for Aqua not to get suspicious of hearing the bathroom being used twice in a row within a few seconds interval, Darkness had to wait for me to finish using it.
Thankfully, the pain in my stomach was gone, so I just had to take a leak.
"Don't try to do anything to me while I'm vulnerable."
"Th-That should be my line!"
She whined, turning her back to me.
I finished quickly, but as I expected, Aqua's insanely enhanced hearing could easily pick up the sound of footsteps required to exit the bathroom twice in a row, which would definitely raise suspicion.
To avoid this, Darkness and I had to hold each other's hand and place our other hand on the wall to maintain our balance. With my night vision, I whispered to her when to take each quiet step. Though many times, I thought her squealing in embarrassment would get us caught.
Thankfully, we managed to reach Darkness's room without being noticed.
"Alright, thank god."
Silence took over the hallways.
"U-Um.. Kazuma..."
"Yes?"
"You can let go of me now.."
I realized that my hand was still intertwined with hers, and I quickly let go, feeling a bit embarrassed.
"O-Oh, sorry."
I glanced at her innocent but blushed face as she hid her lips with her fingers.
I hoped that I wasn't all red as well, but I couldn't help but notice her cute expression. It's a good thing she doesn't have night vision like me.
I watched as she entered her room as quietly as she could.
"Thank you," she said, looking away but her face still turned towards mine, before closing the door.
Finally, I let my feelings out.
Gah! Did she always look this cute?
After gazing at Darkness's closed door, I went back to my room to try and get some sleep.
"Ow! I stubbed my toe on the bathroom door!"
Doesn't this idiot also have night vision?
...
Fast forward to the next day, I heard fantastic news from the Crimson Demon village that they have finally listened to the male community's suggestions to increase their tourist attractions.
Despite a few of the girls giving me horrible remarks about my sudden enthusiasm, I ignored them and led the party.
"Kazuma, we can just use Teleport to get their faster." Aqua said.
Suddenly, buried memories awakened from their long slumber. The rush of emotions was so overwhelming that I almost fell to the ground in pain.
"Remember the last time we used Teleport to go to the Crimson Village? Even with Yunyun present, there could be even more female orcs ready to ambush us. I'm not gonna risk my first time to a horrifying beast." I presented my argument to the four of them.
"Hah?! Are you crazy? If we travel through the lands, we are for sure going to encounter something even more dangerous than female orcs! Besides, no female monster wants to take your first time! Name one woman who wishes to be with you, KazuNEET!" Aqua gave her counterargument with such unawareness that it was noticeable to Megumin and Darkness, who looked away and fidgeted.
"I'll have you know. I know plenty of girls in Axel that are fans of me! If I want a girlfriend now, I can literally get one with ease! But I am a man of honor. I'm not gonna fool around with every woman I find!"
"Really?"
"Really?"
Why are both of you girls giving me that look? Forget them; sure, they may look cute on the outside, but managing the two of them will break any other man.
Surprisingly, Yunyun had the courage to think of something wonderful.
"I-I have a suggestion. How about we teleport half-way, therefore we won't encounter female orcs for sure. And we'll be more closer to the Crimson Village to travel safely without encountering any monsters?"
"Deal!"
"Deal!"
We finally reached a quick and easy agreement, and Yunyun teleported us halfway through the Crimson Village.
"Teleport!"
A circle-shaped aura of purple energy enveloped us and the ground as Yunyun activated her teleportation magic.
As we arrived at our destination, I couldn't pinpoint the exact location since I was unfamiliar with this area of land.
I decided to rely on Yunyun and the rest of the party to guide us from here.
"We just have to keep heading north through the forest, and the large canyons." She pointed north, and the rest of us followed suit.
The landscape was indeed unusual, with a forest and canyon situated right next to each other. It almost seemed as if someone had been using Explosions to create the canyon, or perhaps it was the result of a fierce battle against the Demon King.
At this point, it was difficult to determine the exact cause, so I decided to keep an open mind and wait for more information before making any conclusions.
It was a 50/50 situation, and I would place my bets once more questions were answered.
"Far Sight!" I activated my skill, using my keen senses to peer into the depths of the forest, searching for any signs of monsters or dangerous areas that we should avoid.
"Danger Sense."
The forest definitely seems safe for now. If all goes well, I won't die in this arc. Wait, did I just raise a flag? Better keep quiet for now and just be ready for imminent danger.
I follow the girls from behind in case anything dangerous were to pop up in front. Not that I'm using them as a meat shield. I just like to be comfortable with being alive and well.
As we enter the forest, I wonder to myself.
Why didn't we just walk around the forest? It shouldn't be that big, perhaps.
It seems that none of us besides Megumin and Yunyun have entered this forest before. So I hope that they won't lead us to any danger.
The only other two girls we have to worry about is...
Darkness who was testing the tree's durability with a few light punches, wearing a very concerning expression.
Meanwhile, this idiot is...
"Look at this, Kazuma! A newborn tranquility girl-"
"Snipe." I dispatched the creature as quick and painless as I could.
"Wah! Kazuma, don't fire your arrow near my head! That's dangerous! Do you really want to hurt someone as beautiful as me! Especially the healer of your party? And why did you kill it?! It wasn't harming anyone!" She cried out, grabbing both my shoulders and shaking me.
"Calm down. That's the purpose of tranquility girls. They lure you to a false sense of security and slowly take your mana as you touch it more if it decides to. And since it's a newborn, it's easy for someone like me to take care of while gaining tons of XP."
I also fear that if it could take Aqua's mana, it could actually grow faster and become stronger than adult tranquility girls, but would continue to have the intelligence of a newborn/idiot...
I always have to watch out for this girl in case she does anything stupid that results in more major problems.
"We've actually never encountered any tranquility girls before. Someone from the Demon King army must've planted it there to ambush any patrolling Crimson Demons in the many years to come."
"As Yunyun said, I was correct with my actions-"
"Kazuma! Look at this weird bug sucking nutrients from the flower!"
This girl! She already moved on from something she was crying about like five seconds ago. At least a bug won't harm any one of us.
"Eek! Kazuma, I just touched it and it released about a thousand of it's babies! They're coming for me! Run!" Aqua pushed past me and the others who were slowly walking and taking their time.
Somehow her physical strength outweighs mine, and I was about to fall onto the dirty ground if it hadn't been for Darkness.
She grabbed my collar in the nick of time and lifted me up to my feet.
"This girl! Thank you, Darkness." I thanked Darkness and quickly chased after Aqua through the unknown forest.
"No problem. " I heard her voice in the background.
This girl is running aimlessly in the woods, she is bound to awaken something sleeping in this immense and vast forest. She was oblivious to the amount of noise she was causing.
"Ew! Ew! Disgusting! They're clinging on me!"
"Stand still and let me whack them with my hands!"
"No! Their disgusting juices and your dirty hands would strip me of my innocence!"
No way was I going to touch this girl inappropriately. Despite her goddess appearance, just like the rest of the girls, she is extremely high maintenance which is an immense turn-off.
Aqua, blindly running aimlessly with no sense of direction, runs into a huge out-of-place dark rock, face first.
She falls flat on her back, and the tiny bugs finally leave her alone, flying away as fast as they could, as if they sensed danger.
"That works too." At least I don't have to touch her.
"I've been defiled.. Ugh... And now this pervert is gonna do horrible things to me while I'm injured."
"No way! You don't peek my interest in the slightest-"
Something huge shook the vicinity, interrupting our pointless argument.
That massive, out-of-place dark rock didn't seem like any ordinary wall to me anymore.
It also sprouted eight legs and turned itself to stare at us with eight of it's eyes.
"A HUGE SPIDER! RUN!" Aqua instantly got up as if her wounds weren't real and ran back towards the party members who were still behind us.
"Hey! You're leaving me even though I risked my life to save you from those bugs! Damn you!" I, too, ran because being digested from the inside out by a spider is something I don't look forward to and will never want to experience.
"I heard that someone was getting defiled by a pervert! Give me details!" Darkness arrived first, being the one with the most physical competence. Aqua instantly hugged her, tears streaming down her face.
"K-Kazuma threatened to touch my butt! More importantly, there's a huge spider coming towards us!" Aqua came up with a series of wild lies while pointing at the spider creature. Darkness had a face telling me she wanted to ask for more details.
However, the huge spider had already caught Darkness's attention, and her lips formed a rather creepy and perverted smile.
It seemed like her mind was racing with all sorts of naughty and nasty thoughts.
"Leave it to me!" Darkness unsheathed her sword and ran past me, charging towards the spider without any clear plan in mind.
Her reckless bravery was both impressive and worrisome at the same time.
As she closed in on the spider, I could see her eyes gleaming with determination and a hint of excitement.
"Darkness, I don't know if you know how spiders work! But they-"
It was too late; Darkness had already been enwrapped by the spider's web, as if she were under the effects of a Bind spell. The spider dragged her from its behind, and now it was coming for us next.
"Kazuma! Darkness is being taken! Think of something smart for once with your small brain!" Aqua shoved herself in front of my face.
Can't she just undo the webbing with Spell Break? Or maybe it doesn't work on physical objects coming from the spider itself. Or maybe she was too much panicked to even thought about that.
As I looked back at Darkness, I couldn't believe my eyes. Darkness, despite being kidnapped by a huge arthropod, had a blush on her face and a rather odd expression of excitement. It almost looked like she was enjoying the whole ordeal. She was breathing heavily, and her flustered expression made it clear that this was not a dire situation for her.
I think this woman erotic thoughts has surpassed my expectations once again...
"Darkness, are you okay?!" I shouted at her.
"Oh don't worry, Kazuma! I am doing exceptionally well today! Thanks for asking!"
Yup, I was right. She is enjoying being dragged around like a ragdoll.
With no other option.
"Snipe!"
I aimed my bow and arrow at one of the spider's eyes, piercing through it easily.
It seemed to become even more irritated and charged towards us even faster than we could run.
"K-Kazuma, you just made it go faster, you idiot!" Flailing her arms, Aqua managed to sprint even faster than I could.
"HELP ME! Yunyun! Megumin!" With no other choice, I had to rely on the help of the Crimson Demons once more.
"Uwah! I told you, Kazuma! I was right all along! We've encountered something worse than female orcs! I don't want to be slowly digested by a spider while next to some shut-in-NEET!"
I hated to admit it, but she was right all along. My PTSD from the female orcs interfered with my ability to think clearly about where to go and where not to go, letting my emotions cloud my judgment.
And I definitely shouldn't have raised that flag before we entered the forest.
"Light of Saber!" I could hear a goddess's voice shout out.
Both Aqua and I instinctively ducked down as yellow lightning horizontally passed above us. As it made contact with the huge spider, it exploded into disgusting green fluid.
The sticky mess splattered all over Aqua, Darkness, and me.
Especially Darkness, as she was close to being underneath the spider when it met its electrifying end.
"What an exciting adventure! I was being dragged onto the ground by a disgusting and horrifying creature all while being gazed by such lecherous eyes. And then, finally, I was splattered with disgusting slimy fluid from the giant creature..."
"H-Hey, I wasn't looking at you that way! I only observed you being dragged around like a luggage!"
"He called me a luggage! Ah!"
I decided it was best to keep my thoughts to myself. Truthfully, I wasn't looking at her that way. There was nothing to peek at anyway.
"I've been defiled once more! Waah!" Aqua got onto her knees and begun crying, her tears and her body immediately purifying the spider's blood.
"Um.. it's best if we don't wander off or else we awaken something even more terrifying. Let's just stick together." Yunyun innocently said, her index finger on her chin.
"Thank you, Yunyun-sama."
"D-Don't call me that!"
...
After encountering the giant spider, for once, the entire party was synchronizing without any issues.
Aqua, who was now scared of the forest, hid behind me and Darkness.
Darkness looked around with a concerned smile, glancing side to side and front to back, searching for any other creatures.
Yunyun and Megumin led the way as they knew the directions of the forest.
And I too was hiding behind Darkness, with Aqua hiding behind me.
"To think a man like Kazuma would use Darkness as protection. What a low quality man. Reminds me of the time Megumin let out an explosion during our wedding raid and you using Darkness as a shield." Aqua snickered from behind, covering her mouth with her hand..
"Don't remind me of that in a place like this. I might just leave you behind." I retorted.
Also why is this crusader fidgeting again?
It looked like it was going to take another day for us to reach the Crimson Village. Damn, just one more day to wait in order to enter a certain grand opening of a shop in the village.
"We're a quarter away from the exit of the forest, but we should just camp here for tonight. It's getting dark." Megumin suggested to Yunyun.
"Sounds good."
"Sounds good."
"Eh?!"
"Eh?!"
Both me and Aqua yelped simultaneously.
"Don't tell me that you both are traumatized by the woods?" Megumin asked, her eyes glaring daggers at me specifically.
Does she not see me as a reliable strong man anymore?
"Nonsense, a goddess like me? I've gone through worse." Aqua removes her fingers off of my shirt, wiping the sweat off her forehead to act tough.
Giant Toads don't count...
"Then it's settled. I'll take out the sleeping bags." Darkness sheathed her sword, reaching for the sleeping bags in a... bag.
How does that make any sense?!
"Aqua, you and Kazuma can go make the campfire. Since me and Yunyun were leading the way, we should be the ones to rest first." Megumin made a horrible suggestion, one that aligned both Aqua and me to think of the same thing.
"Do you think I'm a goddess of campfires or something? I should be the one getting rest since I suffered the most."
"There are plenty more spider giants ready to be awoken. I'll use Explosion right now to wake them all up and make them come towards all of us. Would you like that?"
Megumin is being really scary right now!
"Yes, ma'am!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
Both Aqua and I got to work.
I grabbed as many dry sticks as I could within a span of 10 minutes. Luckily, finding whatever you want depends on the amount of luck you have at the moment.
"That should be enough." I dropped the dry sticks into the center of our sleeping area. The crackling campfire started to take shape, and its warmth spread across the campsite.
"Yoink." Aqua grabbed a single dry stick from my pile and threw it back in right away.
"Ah you bitch! You didn't even try to find any! Stop taking mine and dropping it back in like you contributed to something!" I yelled at her as loud as I could.
"Shush, Kazuma! Don't wake up the giant spiders! And don't be an idiot. I gave that stick a small buff, I made it last longer to burn!."
That's not even the slightest bit useful! And she only used it once and decided that was good for today.
"Whatever." I dismissed the pointless conversation, noticing Darkness carrying a few logs on her shoulders and effortlessly placing them with only one arm around the campfire, forming it into a shape of a triangle.
How strong is this girl?!
I better not get on her bad side anymore, or she'll really break my neck if she feels like it.
"Looks like we got everything set. Is anyone hungry?" Megumin handed everyone a sandwich which we all took gleefully.
As we took a bite into it...
"Plain!" We all said together.
"H-Hey, I did the best I could!" Darkness said to everyone, with a mix of disappointment and satisfaction at the same time.
A plain sandwich is the least of our worries anyway.
We all quickly finish the sandwich as fast as we could to not be bothered by it's plain taste.
Bothered by the silence with only sounds of crickets and the fire breaking down the sticks, I decided to speak up.
"So... who is on guard- AH! Don't sleep first, idiot!" I slapped the back of Aqua's head, noticing she had already attempted to go to sleep first.
"I need my 8 hour sleep so I can wake up as beautiful as I can be. It's a necessary requirement for someone like me!" She winced from the pain on the back of her head.
"I too am tired from all the walking. I am about to fall asleep at the very moment. Let's just take a vote on who should be on guard duty." Megumin let's out a small yawn.
"Kazuma."
"Kazuma."
"Kazuma."
"Err.. sorry, Kazuma-san. I have no other choice."
"You traitors!" I pointed at all of them.
"Democracy at it's finest. It's settled. Goodnight." Aqua, without a care for my safety, instantly turned her back to me and fell asleep, snoring.
"Fine. You all can sleep. But don't expect me to not do anything to you all while you guys are vulnerable." I let out a laugh like any main villain about to initiate or complete their long desire to take over the world.
"See if you have the balls." Megumin took off her hat and crawled into her sleeping bag, settling down to sleep as well.
Ah this girl! Is she teasing me again like last time?! I'll show her once I sleep with her again!
Yunyun had already gotten into her sleeping bag before I even noticed. But I don't know her much and it's hard for me to yell at someone who is actually useful.
So now it's just me and Darkness, who didn't look like she was about to go to sleep.
"Aren't you going to sleep too?" I asked her, her face staring at the campfire as it made crackling noises.
"In case you actually do something to one of us," Darkness said, her voice firm and resolute, "I'll be awake to make sure it doesn't happen." She stared at me with an aura of a royal knight.
Don't tell me she wants to be the one to sacrifice herself like the selfless person she is...
"Whatever." I turned my head away from her to stare at the deep dark forest.
"Ah, you really aren't gonna do anything to us?!" Her voice sounded disappointed. Coming from the same woman who chickens out from a kiss to the cheek.
Some time passes and the rest of the party members are deep asleep now, all of them snoring as if they were sleeping back in the mansion.
Darkness was still surprisingly awake. Does she really want me to make a move or something? Or does she care about her friend that much, not trusting that I wouldn't do anything in the process.
Her blue eyes gazed softly at the campfire, and her lips were slightly parted as she breathed in the fresh air. I couldn't help but notice that she had taken her hair tie off, allowing her long hair to flow freely instead of being tied in a ponytail. The dancing flames cast a warm glow on her face, making her look even more beautiful and captivating in the dim light of the campfire. In that moment, I found myself mesmerized by her presence, and a feeling of tranquility washed over me as I watched her in silence.
Watch yourself, Satou Kazuma, you almost fell for her again. Remember what's inside that iron skull of hers. Nothing but perverted thoughts and sometimes a noble determination to do whatever she wishes to help others while sacrificing herself in the process.
My eyes instinctively glanced back at her once more. Dammit.
Finally, I had enough of the silence.
"Oi."
"Y-Yes?" She looked startled from my sudden voice.
"Strip..."
"EH?!" Immediately, her face went crimson despite the fire illuminating her face.
"You heard what I said... Strip." I said it again with an affirming and serious tone.
"B-B-B-But we can't do it here. Everyone is sleeping... L-Let's go somewhere alone..."
Why was she agreeing to it in the first place? Alright enough of teasing her.
"I meant your armor. The armor that the giant spider damaged by dragging you around like a ragdoll. Christ, you need to get rid of those erotic thoughts in your brain."
"O-Oh? I see. Here." With a disappointed tone, she took off her armor, handing it over to me as I took out my hammer and chisel, and began repeatedly hitting the armor to fix the dents.
I noticed her soft gaze looking at my hands as I continued fixing her armor. As the sparks from the hammer danced in the firelight, I couldn't help but feel a strange mix of romance and amusement at the situation. Who would have thought that repairing armor in the middle of the night with just the two of us would become extremely awkward.
"Why do you keep staring?" I blurted out, catching her off guard. She looked away shyly, her hands resting on her knees.
"Because I can? I'm not harming you in any way."
Fair point.
"Well, keep doing it then. I don't mind." Lack of sleep was really getting to me. I didn't have enough energy to tease her at this point.
"O-Ok..." She sounded a bit tired too, not putting up much protest.
After a few more hits, the armor was fully repaired and ready to use. I handed it over to her without saying a word, but she smiled at me—a smile I had never seen before, almost like she was an entirely different person.
I simply smiled back and continued to gaze at the fire, which was slowly dying.
What am I doing here? I should be back at my mansion, coming up with new ideas to get rich and avoid anything dangerous or difficult for the rest of my life.
Suddenly, I felt something soft slightly graze my fingers.
"Perv-"
"No, I'm not gonna do anything." Darkness hushed me with her index finger on her lips, as if she were my mother trying to tell me to be quiet.
"Then what the hell are you doing?" I asked suspiciously, ready to scream to wake up the others.
Watching her face grow redder than Megumin's eyes, she checked if the rest of the party members were awake. Then, with her determination as a female knight, she gazed at me intently.
"I just wanted to continue... what we did last night..." She looked away.
Just who was this woman? This wasn't the Darkness I always have.
Oh god, she's pulling at my heartstrings again. Her rare ojou-sama/maiden personality is something that would've been great to have from the beginning. I would've fallen in love with her way faster if that was the case.
"A-Are you talking about that time we had to hold hands together to avoid making Aqua suspicious of us?"
"D-Don't say it out loud! But... yes... Just think of it as a reward for fixing my armor. Besides, you've always looked at me with such lustful intent, it's about time you do something about it."
What's this, her honest thoughts or her masochism getting in the way?
As much as I hate being called a chicken, I had to respect her for having the courage to ask instead of doing something perverted again without my permission.
And I didn't mind.
"I-It's fine by me. Just tell me if you get uncomfortable." I let her know.
"I don't think I would ever get uncomfortable with this." She slowly placed her hands on top of mine, not fully holding hands, but touching each other's.
I'll take what I can get.
It seems Darkness has been getting bolder and bolder. Maybe what happened last night took her into overdrive. Though that makes me wonder what Megumin is gonna do next.
We'll definitely be sleeping inside her stable- I mean house, and inside her room. I don't have much of a choice but follow her mother's order since I have nowhere else to sleep for the next few days.
A few minutes later, I felt something soft and delicate rest on my shoulder.
Darkness had finally fallen asleep after many hours into the night.
As much as I liked this development, I didn't want any misunderstandings, especially if Aqua or the others woke up in the middle of the night.
"Oi." I gently tapped her cheeks.
"Y-Yes?" She replied, half-asleep.
"Go to your sleeping bag. I don't want to get punched by Aqua or the other girls if they see us like this," I said, giving her an order.
"O-Okay." She didn't protest much.
Darkness grabbed her sleeping bag and placed it next to the log I was sitting on, sleeping right beside me.
"C-Can I still hold your hand while I fall asleep?" She looked at me with such cuteness overload, it could rival a puppy's eyes.
But what was she? A little girl? C'mon...
She stared at me, showing no intention of giving up.
"F-Fine." I gave in, falling into her little trap that I couldn't defend myself against.
Who knew she was this effective at looking adorable?
She softly smiled and said, "Thank you." before tucking herself into the sleeping bag.
I'll just take my hand off once she's fast asleep.
"Take that, Kazuma! Hehe!" I stared with concern on my face as I witness Aqua punching the air in her sleep.
...
"Kazuma, did you seriously stay up all night?" Megumin asks me with worry in her voice.
Even though I can't see myself in the mirror right now, I know that I have bags under my eyes.
Even my bags have bags!
"Yes, what about it?" I weakly replied to her and stood up to look around the forest.
The truth is, after Darkness fell asleep, I noticed incoming footsteps running at such a fast pace that my tiredness couldn't keep up with.
As I laid my eyes on the culprit, I learned that it wasn't just one, but a dozen spirits that were attracted by Aqua and her godly aura. They must've wanted to be free from this horrible world but she was asleep.
So they were probably in fit of rage so they decided to mess with me to take out their frustration.
As much as I tried to sleep, they kept whispering into my ear, staring at me with their deadpan stare, and fake charging towards me with loud footsteps.
I tried to cover my scream as much as I could and managed not to wake everyone up.
"Umm.. If it doesn't kill your man ego. We can have Darkness carry you on her back to rest a bit." Megumin suggested, pointing at Darkness with her staff.
Both Darkness and I look at each other in the eyes for a split second.
"E-Eh? Me carrying Kazuma? I mean.. if it doesn't bother him.." She bit her finger, glancing at me every few seconds.
"Hmm.. Let me put something in between us first just incase she tries to feel my chest."
I grabbed my sleeping bag, folding it to make it a cushion between the two of us.
"Wh-What?! As if I need to! You'll only be feeling my armor. The only thing I might feel is...is... uhhh." She covered her face to not say whatever lewd thoughts she was thinking of.
But I know exactly what she was talking about.
"Ah..! But I can't help it. I need some sleep, Darkness. I hope you can understand. After all, what you did last night-"
I couldn't finish my last sentence as she proceeded to choke the living daylights out of me.
"I'm just now hearing about this? I require an explanation." Megumin crossed her arms, staring at the both of us as if she were our mother.
"U-Um... Last night... I uh.."
This lady was so bold last night, what happened to her? Does her personality only shine during a full moon? Werewolf tsundere?
"Restoration!"
Suddenly, the tiredness fatigue I've felt for quite a while disappeared in an instant.
The three of us turn to see Aqua, oblivious to the mood.
"You should be lucky to have someone as me, Kazuma. Not only can I remove cursed spells, poison, etc. But if you ever feel tired, just let me know and I'll help you out. In exchange for a daily prayer, of course." She winked at me, still oblivious to the mood.
"Well then, time to get the hell out of here." I said nothing else. I'll take it as a reward for having to deal with what happened last night.
"H-Hey, you're leaving just like that!" Darkness grimaced.
"Well you did make a good point there, Darkness. Who knew what he could've done to you if you had carried him." Megumin tried her best to comfort her.
"Yeah, he might've sniffed your neck or your hair just like he did to me in the stables!"
What?
"Hey, how do you know?! Never mind that, Yunyun, let's hurry or else something even more dangerous surfaces."
I tried to change the subject to avoid the embarrassment caused by my past actions.
"Good news, the exit is only a few meters away." She said, pointing at what seemed to be not much more than a desolate landscape we would have to pass through next.
Wait, you're telling me we're about 20 meters away from the exit of the forest? Meaning I could've slept without getting haunted by ghosts every minute?!
"Kazuma, I know what you're thinking. But trust me, you don't want to sleep out of the forest, considering this dangerous canyon is filled with monsters even worse than that giant spider we encountered."
How did this loli know what I was thinking? A fortuneteller? Psychic? Are there any psychic powers in this world? If so, I want them in exchange for this useless goddess.
"E-Even worse than the giant spider? Don't be silly! Haha. Megumin must be trying to tease and mess with us. Don't worry, Kazuma, we'll get through this canyon with ease. You've got a goddess like me, right here!"
With you raising so many flags like that, I expected someone like you to say something like that.
Well then, I'll just be prepared for the worst and use Lurk.
The canyon we had to pass through was significantly tall and huge. Its size couldn't match the Grand Canyon, but it still took a fairly long time to travel through.
Of course, we encountered small critters such as snakes, scorpions, and centipedes.
We watched as hawks and eagles soared through the sky, occasionally diving down to snatch a snake or rabbit.
What is with this landscape? A desert next to a forest? It doesn't make any sense at all.
"Kazuma, look! Someone left this gold coin on the floor!" Aqua gathered all of our attention, eagerly peeking down and just about to reach for the coin.
"Idiot! Don't grab it!" I swiftly tackled her to the ground.
"Hey, why did you do that? I just made us a coin richer, that's all!" She complained loudly, forcefully kicking me off of her.
"Don't you remember that time in the dungeon? A loot like this is definitely a trap for travelers like is. Danger Sense."
I activated my skill and immediately noticed the gold coin engulfed in a menacing crimson glow, sending clear signals that it was, in fact, dangerous.
Instinctively, I threw a stick near the vicinity of the gold coin.
Suddenly, the entire earth began shaking violently, and we all struggled to maintain our balance.
Out of nowhere, a colossal pink worm emerged from below the coin. Its gaping mouth could easily swallow a horse whole, and its rows of sharp teeth formed a terrifying circle of instant death. The monstrous creature reached a height of fifteen meters, sending chills down our spines.
Our eyes widened in horror as the massive worm slowly sank back into the ground, vanishing as if it were phasing through the earth's depths, biding its time for the next unfortunate victim.
"I-I-I could've died to that? A goddess like me? N-Nonsense..." Aqua, in sheer panic, began rolling back and forth on her butt, frantically covering the top of her head with her hands.
"I wonder what it would feel like to be swallowed by a huge slimy worm just like that. Just thinking about it is making me... Mmmph!" Darkness hugged herself, shaking like never before.
"That was one of the smaller ones." Megumin commented.
Smaller ones?!
"Ah yes, that reminds me of that time Megumin had to use explosion to kill that giant scorpion."
Giant scorpion?! You mean the ones where they grab you with pincher claws and inject you with venom that slowly digest you from the inside like that spider?!
My heart begun racing again.
What is with this world? I thought female orcs and slimes were bad enough but giant insects?!
"Disgusting! I'm getting out of here!" I sprinted ahead, leaving all the girls behind to save myself.
"Wahh! Kazuma, don't leave me behind again! I need to stay with you so you can be my shield!"
Absolutely not!
"To think I was sleeping next to this coward just a few months ago.."
"Yeah.. After boasting about his manly side every day, we've finally see his true personality."
Ignoring the negative comments from the two girls, I kept running with all my might.
How long until we get out of this canyon?! Don't tell us it's gonna take another day?! I can't deal with that! My mind can't handle any of that!
"K-Kazuma, you shouldn't make too much loud footsteps! If you make too many-"
Yunyun was about to say something of significant importance but was interrupted by a noise of what sounded like small chirping and hissing sounds but getting increasingly louder and faster.
Just beside the spot where I had stopped briefly, there was a massive cave. The cave was dark for the human eye but it wasn't a problem for me to see.
"Night Vision."
I activated night vision and to my horror, I saw hundreds of cockroaches that were the size of an average horse.
My mind broke.
A minute later, all of us were running for our lives from the giant cockroaches. Even Darkness, torn between the idea of being a sacrifice or fleeing with us, joined the frantic escape.
Perhaps bugs are her limit.
The cockroaches were gaining on us rapidly. I don't even know if insects experienced stamina drain like mammals, and the noise we were making was likely to attract other giant insects in the vicinity.
"Kazuma, I was right all along again! We should've used Teleport! If I die, I'm taking you with me! You're gonna be sent to hell for sending a goddess like me to this world!"
Wasn't this idiot also sending Japanese people to their death by reincarnating them into this world?
"This is why we should've led the way, you guys. Don't run aimlessly into territory that you don't know. I-I could use explosion right now but at this range, all of us are dead meat to other giant creatures in this canyon."
Explosion would be saved as our last ditch effort in order to not be eaten alive by these monstrous critters.
"Against this many cockroaches, my Light of Saber would just drain me of my mana. We need something bigger-"
Just as Yunyun was about to say something important again, something emerged from another large dark cavern behind the cockroaches.
A giant scorpion.
It appeared to have been drawn by all the noise and saw the cockroaches as its breakfast. Perhaps us humans were on its menu as well.
Now the cockroaches were fleeing from the scorpion with newfound speed, as if they, too, had their own adrenaline rush like us humans. The situation had escalated from bad to worse in a matter of moments.
"Wahhhh! Speed! Restore! I want to go home!"
The sight of the giant scorpion was traumatizing enough for Aqua to come to a realization - she was a support member. With a newfound understanding of her role, she granted all of us a temporary speed boost and restored our stamina.
Though the speed boost can only be used once and no more.
"Kazuma, think of something! You're always reliable in this sort of situation!"
Didn't this little girl call me a coward just a few minutes ago? Well, maybe she was right. I needed to think of a plan, and fast.
Currently, the giant scorpion was keeping pace with the cockroaches, and thanks to Aqua's buffs, we were only slightly faster than them.
Since the cockroaches were now focused on the scorpion as their meal, they might prioritize survival over attacking us. Besides, with their size being as large as a horse, I doubted I'd make for a satisfying meal.
Wait, a horse?
Cockroaches are known for their tough and flexible exoskeletons, making them hard to kill. If we could turn this to our advantage, we could ride the cockroaches with Aqua granting them a speed buff, and we'd be out of the canyon in no time.
I got it!
"Guys, I have a plan!" I exclaimed.
"We need to jump onto a cockroach so that we don't have to run anymore. Once we're on their backs, Aqua can grant them a speed buff, and with that, we'll outrun the giant scorpion!" I eagerly shared my idea with them, hoping it would be our ticket to safety.
"Are you crazy?! That's never gonna work! I might as well die than listen to your stupid plan!"
While Aqua continued to complain, the rest of the girls immediately followed my orders. They stopped running and leaped onto the nearest cockroaches they could find.
Darkness and I found ourselves side by side on one cockroach, while Megumin and Yunyun managed to jump onto another.
Meanwhile, Aqua was still running for her life, deciding between listening to my 'stupid' plan or continuing to flee. Surprisingly, she didn't seem fatigued at all from all the running. I wondered if she had been secretly training or if her support abilities allowed her to restore her stamina effortlessly.
"Ugh! If I die, Kazuma, I'm gonna haunt you and drink all your wine!" Aqua finally agreed and leaped onto a different cockroach than the one we were on.
"Speed! Speed! Speed!" she chanted, granting her speed buff to all three cockroaches we were riding.
Instantly, they became about fifty percent faster than the others.
"Amazing, Kazuma was right all along," Megumin complimented, looking back at the giant scorpion that was picking off and devouring any cockroaches it caught, one by one.
The plan was working, and we were escaping its clutches with each passing moment.
"I've never thought about using cockroaches as a quick way of transportation. This just gave me an idea..." Darkness mused, and I couldn't help but wonder what her thoughts were wandering towards.
"Don't think about it," I quickly interjected.
"It's nothing perverted this time, really," she replied, her cheeks turning slightly red. I decided to believe her, considering bugs seemed to be her limit.
Wait a minute, didn't she willingly get captured by that spider yesterday?
I pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on our current situation.
As I pondered, I felt something soft grasp on both sides of my waist.
"Hey, what are you trying to do?" I asked Darkness.
Her hands gripping my waist as if we both were riding a motorcycle or horse.
What is with me thinking about horses? Maybe I missed seeing farm animals due to the fact everything in this world are just giant versions of the ones on Earth.
"N-Nothing! I just need to balance myself. The ride is getting a bit shaky," She stammered, her face flushed again.
Her grip tightens, hoping I don't swap them away.
"Don't fall off, or else we'll leave you."
"You're saying it at a time like this?" she retorted, her embarrassment mixing with amusement.
...
After a couple of hours of riding the cockroaches, we finally made it through the canyon and ascended to the surface.
Using their antennae as a guide, we managed to find our way to the exit.
"We're a few miles away from the Crimson Village. I might as well teleport us, considering what we've all had to go through," Yunyun suggested.
"Agreed."
"Agreed"
Aqua and I chimed in together.
Without hesitation, Yunyun cast the teleportation spell, and we found ourselves in the middle of the Crimson Village.
Curious, I asked Yunyun about the safety of such teleportation methods.
"The Crimson Village takes our mana into data. Each Crimson Demon has a unique mana type. It recognizes us and allows us to teleport within. However, for unknown travelers, it will lead them into traps like pits, caves filled with monsters, and spiked pits."
I couldn't help but wonder how many unsuspecting people had fallen victim to such traps.
"Of course, the traps don't work since we've announced it to the entire world, even the Demon King army," Yunyun added.
Ignoring the overpowered stats of these Crimson Demons for now, I focused on my initial goal – finding that certain shop with its grand opening.
As I began my search, Yunyun suggested that we go to her mansion first for a feast to celebrate surviving the impossible.
Our hungry stomachs grumbled together.
About half an hour later, we found ourselves seated at a large rectangular table, surrounded by luxurious meats and vegetables in a very large mansion that could rival mines.
There were crab meat, lobster meat, steak, pork, and various other delectable options. Cabbage, apples, oranges, and beans were among the many choices.
Having only had a plain sandwich after all that running and walking, I ate without any care for manners, almost primitive like, devouring chicken drumsticks without bothering to chew properly.
"With what I've been through, this feast helps a bit, but I need more than just dinner to satisfy a goddess like me. You guys should pray for me to get better." Aqua said, her cheeks filled with food, resembling a hamster.
The feast was a well-deserved reward for surviving the harrowing ordeal, and we enjoyed the abundance of delicious food in the company of each other.
"Thank you for assisting and helping my daughter adventure with you guys to our village! If it weren't for you guys, who knows what could've happened," Yunyun's father, Hiropon, said cheerfully, his eyes closed as usual.
No, good sir, it was your daughter who actually saved us. Without her, we would have become spider food yesterday.
"My daughter always runs into danger, so I'm glad that you four knew it from the beginning and traveled with her. She must've been scared of the giant spiders and scorpions that roam around our village. We intentionally changed the landscape like that and captured any giant creatures we could find to plant them there. It's a precaution due to Sylvia and his army's recent destruction of our village," he explained, cluelessly scratching his head.
What?
Apparently I was the only one conscious enough to hear it as everyone else seemed too busy eating to notice.
Also please stop trying to give us your compliments. We've caused more trouble than good, even though it was your fault.
"That being said, I'm thankful that you all have come to see me be elected as the leader of the Crimson Village again," Yunyun's father continued, surprising us with his statement.
"Election? When is it happening?" Darkness asked.
"In a couple of days. Usually, we have a trial for a newer generation of Crimson Demons to become the leader this year, but for now, my generation gets another chance at becoming the leader. We need more experienced Crimson Demons to lead us at the moment," he explained.
"Is it because of the Demon King army?" Megumin asked between bites of rice porridge.
"Possibly. One of our greatest fortunetellers in the village warned us of great danger again. Though not as destructive as Sylvia's rampage, the damage will still be relative to it. Though I really doubt it!" Hiropon showed us a letter written by the fortuneteller.
Yunyun took the letter from her father's hand and read it aloud,
"The original will prevail... That's it?"
"Ominous, right?! She actually explained it in full detail, but I forgot, so I just wrote what I heard from her intense and dramatic monologue about the end of the Crimson Village."
"End of the Crimson Village?!" both Yunyun and Megumin exclaimed, standing up in shock.
"Calm down, girls. We've fought through worse foes before. We've gone toe to toe with a Demon King General who absorbed the Mage Killer before. This future threat can't possibly be that powerful."
"H-Hey, don't set up any flags!" I interjected.
"Woah, this really is convincing! I'll have to give my fortuneteller my regards for coming up with such an ominous and impending doom of a letter. Thanks for being my witnesses. I'll post this all over the newspapers and increase tourist attractions!" Yunyun's father folded the letter and put it back in his pocket.
"W-Wait, so all of this was fake? There is no actual threat?" Megumin asked.
"Of course not, I just wanted to see your guys' reaction before I post this to the public. And it went a hundred percent exactly how I wanted. Thanks!"
So it was all just a fluke for our reaction? Now he's gonna post it so people think the Crimson Village is gonna be destroyed so they'll want to visit it one last time before it explodes?
"Can I punch your father again, Yunyun?" I asked.
"Sure."
"Yunyun! No!"
...
After saying goodbye to Yunyun, we headed to Megumin's stable- I mean, house.
We've spent the whole day at her mansion, we almost forgot to visit Megumin's family and sleepover. Even Megumin herself forgot if it weren't for Yunyun.
Sundown was upon us.
If only she didn't remind us because I am definitely not looking forward to this.
I knew exactly what was gonna happen tonight.
Aqua was gonna fall asleep all on her own without needing a spell, clueless to what was happening to me and everyone else.
Darkness, despite her resistance to most magic, would eventually succumb to sleep under Megumin's mother's spell.
And then me and her will be stuck in her room again. I looked at Megumin who gazed at her house filled with nostalgic memories, I bet.
"So what is the plan here? Celebrate Komekko's birthday and then leave or should we stay and wait for the election of the new leader?" Aqua asked for me.
"Hmm.. There doesn't seem to be any Demon King army attack going on at the moment. Right now, things are peaceful at the moment so I don't see why not." I said to her.
Both her and Megumin quietly pumped up their fists in front of me, as if I didn't see it...
It had been a while since Aqua asked a genuinely good question instead of her selfish desires. And for once, we were on the same page—minus the spiders, cockroaches, and scorpions.
"Komekko's birthday is tomorrow. I think we should visit the town and get presents for her." Megumin suggested with enthusiasm.
"Ah, you're right. I wonder what I should get for her?" Darkness wondered.
"Food." The archwizard quickly added.
"I'll buy the food and cake, don't worry. Just find anything that isn't any adult toys or dangerous." I said to the three of them.
"Why did you look at me when you said that?!" Darkness complains to me.
"Same here." Aqua replied back.
"Oh look, we've arrived at our destination." I changed the subject of the conversation, knocking on the front door.
Incoming small footsteps that were no doubt, Komekko's, were heard and the front door slowly opened.
"Hello, Komekko. Big sister is back." Megumin softly said.
She looks at her big sister and then at me.
"Dad, Mom! Big sis is back and she wants to marry Kazuma!"
Wait, wasn't this deja vu?
"Wait, Komekko, don't go spreading out false rumors!" I hurriedly chased her without taking my shoes off.
The rest chased her from behind.
As I entered the small living room, I noticed her parents already sitting in front of the small table that was their dining table sadly. Their eyes closed but I could feel it staring at me intently anyway.
"Kazuma-san... This is very unexpecting news from you. Though I am not against it. Please bring it up sooner before my youngest daughter brings it up to me without any context." Megumin's father, Hyoizaburoo, menacingly spoke in a deep tone.
"Ara, ara. I'm glad to hear the good news. Now then, let's make it official next to Komekko's birthday. And we expect a monthly allowance from our son-in-law." Her mother, Yuiyui, gleefully announced with her palm caressing her own cheeks.
"You've all got the wrong idea!" I sat in front of them, bowing to the two of them to apolgize for the misunderstanding.
I barely managed to clear up the misunderstanding with the leftovers from the feast from Yunyun's mansion, much to the disappointed parents who looked at me with distaste.
Though it feels like they planned the whole thing in the first place, telling Komekko to say it if I ever visited their home again to use it as a guilt-trip for me.
"Wow, Komekko, I could feel you getting stronger with each punch." Darkness held up her hand like padding for Komekko to throw punches as hard as she could.
"So, you came here to convince us to take Komekko again, huh?!" Hyoizaburoo pointed at me, with his mouth full of the leftovers.
"Not at all." I calmly said. Anyone below sixteen is an automatic no. Except for some cases. Like when Yunyun wanted to have my baby.
"We're just here to celebrate Komekko's birthday tomorrow. Your tsundere daughter suggested and begged for us to."
"Who are you calling a tsundere?!"
"I see. Either reason is fine with me. I expect plentiful gifts from you guys, especially Kazuma-san. I hope you spoil our youngest daughter to the fullest. Lately, we've only been forming muddy cakes and gathering bread crust for our occasional take-out dinner."
Please don't make me feel bad! Your financial status is pitiful enough, and the mental shield I've built up will shatter if you say anything else.
"Komekko even said to me last night that she wishes to have a gigantic chocolate cake that explodes everywhere in the house and everyone eats it off the wall, ground, and ceiling. It would be a dream come true and be the happiest moment of her life. Though our financial status won't be able to afford something like that. But the least you can do is-"
"I'll buy whatever Komekko wants from now on!" I eagerly said, my mental shield breaking apart in just seconds.
"Splendid! Now then, since it's almost night time. How about you all take a bath? Darkness and Aqua can go together, and then Megumin and Kazuma-san." Yuiyui stood up, bringing up more chaos into the room.
"No way!"
"No way!"
Megumin and Darkness said together.
"Komekko, please stop pulling my hair. I'm not a horse!" Aqua pleaded.
"I mean... I have her permission. Nothing you could do about that," I said, seeing this as a great opportunity to have a mixed bath in a house rather than a hot spring area.
"Still. It's wrong!"
Isn't this coming from the same person who took a bath with me in the mansion during the main succubus event?
"I would never allow myself to bathe in front of this cretin."
Didn't she take a bath with me also in the mansion during the giant frog rampage in the winter?
"Why not you both go together with him then? I've received Megumin's letters of him bathing with both of you individually? She specifically stated that he saw one of you guys naked, though I believe it wasn't my daughter yet since he hasn't already married her."
Both girls quickly became flustered, losing their composure faster than expected.
Stop adding more unnecessary drama to the room, woman!
And you, are you doing this on purpose?! Stop sending letters to your family about things we do every day, especially writing it in such an erotic manner that it gives misunderstandings!
"Well then, if you both are too shy, I'll go in alone," I said calmly, walking out of the living room, leaving them speechless, heading to take a bath in a barrel.
...
Hm... it happened again...
"Ara ara, good afternoon, Kazuma-san."
It's nighttime.
"It seems everyone has fallen asleep. My husband must've been tired from the hard work he's done today. Your friend, Aqua, fell asleep without needing a bath it seems. Komekko is asleep right next to her father so don't worry about it. And my daughter's rival- clumsy crusader I mean, tripped twice actually and fell asleep. She is recovering as we speak."
To me, the father looks unconscious with his eyes opened and his mouth drooling. Aqua and Komekko looks to me like they normally fell asleep.
But Darkness is sleeping flat on her chest. And by saying she tripped twice, Yuiyui must've used Sleep Skill on her twice.
Poor girl, she clumsily used her stat points to resist it even further but didn't know it could be used the second time.
"Megumin is in her room, making minimal noises at the moment. There also happens to be no space here so you'll have to sleep in her room."
The moment she finished her sentence, I ran as fast as I could, out of this cursed stable!
"Ankle Snare."
Something wraps between my ankle as I fall and trip, slowly being pulled back into the house.
The chain gets smaller and smaller, leading to Megumin's room.
"Help me! I'm about to get murdered!" I screamed out, noticing Megumin in the corner in horror.
The door closes shut.
"Lock."