Despite herself, Haibara enjoyed the flight back from the museum, enough so that she was almost disappointed when they arrived at her home. Kid landed gracefully in the yard behind the house and knelt to set them down.
Conan quickly sent a few messages from his phone, likely to update the rest of the team, then grabbed Haibara's hand and pulled her toward the back door. He ushered her inside then turned to look over his shoulder.
"Tantei-kun, is there anything else..." Kid began.
"What are you doing? Get inside, thief! We can't talk outside, and we need to treat your wound too."
Wound? Haibara turned and noticed for the first time that Kid's left sleeve was torn at the bicep, and the portion below it was stained with blood. Though it wasn't very obvious in the dark, she saw that Conan also had a corresponding stain across his arm and chest. He must've noticed Kid's injury and been applying pressure to it during the flight.
"I will get the first aid kit. You will remove your jacket and wait for me in the kitchen," Haibara ordered him. Now that she was back in the safe warm home she shared with the Professor and had something else to focus on, she was feeling much more herself. Which included, among other things, demanding respect.
—
When Haibara caught up with them, Kid was sitting on the kitchen table, his jacket dutifully removed and the sleeve of the dress shirt rolled up to allow Conan to gently clean around the cut with a damp cloth. Haibara decided to linger outside the doorway for a moment to eavesdrop.
"So do you want me to return the jewel for you?" Conan was asking.
"That would be rather difficult, since I didn't take anything tonight," Kid answered with a chuckle.
"What?" Conan gasped. "Wait, you didn't actually miss the heist for us, did you?"
"Of course I did."
"But— but you never miss heists!" Conan sounded horrified, either upset about the thief's winning streak being broken, or about the irony of a detective being upset about that in the first place.
"But I also have another policy, remember?" Kid said, playful but also soft and sincere. "'No one gets hurt.' You were in danger. Of course that's more important."
Kid's tone was tender, and the only response from Conan was awkward silence, so Haibara chose that moment to enter the room in order to see his expression for herself. And yes, it was quite a flustered and uncomfortable expression, which brought a smile to her own face. She also noted with amusement that Conan was absolutely refusing to meet the other's eyes, which was quite a shame because Kid was watching him with so much adoration that anyone less dense than Conan might've melted on the spot. But at her approach, Conan immediately hopped aside to make room for her, thus distancing himself and ruining the moment.
"Really, don't worry about it," Kid assured Conan, who was blushing furiously and winning a staring contest with the floor. "I left a card with a cancellation notice in Nakamori-keibu's pocket."
"...thanks. What did you say as the reason for the cancelation?" Conan answered, grateful for both the assurance and the change in topic.
"Just that 'something came up' and I'd come back for the jewel another day."
"Ok, good. It's better if it's not obvious that it's because those guys were there."
Agasa-hakase entered the kitchen then, having made sure the Detective Boys were all sent home for the evening. "Ah, Kaito-kun, so good to see you! Thank you for helping us out tonight!" he greeted cheerfully.
"Hm?" Kid's expression read as 'politely confused' but the slight stiffening in his muscle under Haibara's grip said otherwise.
Fortunately, even as absented-minded as the Professor could be sometimes, he was not as bad as the Detective of the West. He caught himself quickly and amended, "Ahhaha, sorry, do you prefer Kaitou-kun, or Kid-san?"
"Ah, whatever you like," Kuroba answered pleasantly, relaxing again. Or at least he was relaxed until Haibara fished out her surgical needle from the kit.
"It's not a very deep wound but it does require several stitches. Of course, you really should go to a hospital for that," she told him flatly.
"Be my guest," he gestured at his injury with a cocky smirk that surely didn't match his real feelings at all.
"Would you like some cookies, Kid-san?" Agasa offered as a consolation. He was always offering people cookies when they got hurt, to the point that Haibara had noticed that the children, and Genta in particular, had started to become much more 'clumsy' around him.
"It would be rude to decline such a generous offer of hospitality, and I am a gentleman," Kid answered suavely, definitely overcompensating in his efforts to mask the extent of his enthusiasm at the mention of cookies.
Agasa waited until Haibara was focused on the first stitch before he reached into a hidden cabinet to fetch a box of cookies. It was a futile effort, however, for she already knew of the existence of his secret snack boxes and had been hunting them down for several months now. Though still intently watching her own hands as she worked, she was able to pinpoint the approximate location of this new cookie stash through the sounds as well as the glimpses from her peripheral vision. This would provide valuable intel to use in her ongoing search-and-destroy mission in the morning.
Conan, feeling uncomfortable with nothing to say yet not wanting to leave, gathered up the stained jacket and went to the sink. Kid was fully occupied by the cookies, making them vanish astonishingly quickly, and engaging the Professor in conversation about how good the cookies were, what a unique flavor it was, and where they could be purchased. It was some apparently some fancy foreign brand, probably a remnant from the time when the Professor had unsuccessfully attempted to convince Haibara that he was not a glutton but rather a connoisseur of fine dining.
"Done," she announced a short time later, as she tied off the bandage that wrapped up her hard work.
"Your work is much appreciated, Ojousan," Kid answered gracefully, standing up and turning to give her a slight bow.
"Here, I got most of the blood out of your jacket, but you'll probably need to bleach it later. Do you want to borrow something to wear home?" Conan said, holding up the now damp jacket.
"Why thank you, Tantei-kun! And while I certainly appreciate the offer, I'm not sure your clothes would fit me right now. Not to worry, though, I came prepared~" And with a puff of smoke, he had somehow changed into a black outfit and oversized black hoodie, with a black baseball cap pulled down low over his face. What a pathetically flimsy disguise. Honestly, if Haibara didn't know for a fact that Kuroba wanted Conan to see him, she would've sworn that Kuroba wanted Conan to see him.
"Well then, if that's all..." Kid raised a hand in a small wave and turned to leave.
"Wait, Kid!" Conan jumped forward and grabbed his sleeve for half a second before realizing what he was doing and taking several steps back. He cleared his throat. "I mean, we need to talk."
"Hmm? About what?"
"Those men tonight — they're after me, Kudou Shinichi. We need to figure out why they came to your heist."
"Well, it could have something to do with the fact that I've disguised as you a number of times, often quite publicly, including using your passport for my only two international appearances in the last year," Kid answered with a shrug, stance casual and hands tucked into his pockets. The others stared at him, just a little bit lost for words.
"Ok, yeah, so that was a pretty major oversight," Conan said quietly after a moment, shaking his head in frustration with himself. "Actually, it's pretty surprising this hasn't come up before, to be honest. Hmm. But then if nothing's changed recently, why would they start suspecting it now…?"
Conan muttered that last part to himself, merely thinking out loud, but he noticed the way Kid hesitated briefly and sensed that the thief was withholding something, so he immediately pressed for an answer. "Kid? Did you interact with any of those men while disguised as me?"
The slight smirk of the Poker Face faded, to be replaced by a solemn expression on the half of his face not hidden in shadows. When he had remained silent a tad too long, the impatient detective spoke again. "Those people tried to kill me," he explained. "They're supposed to think I'm dead. I and everyone I care about will be in serious danger if they realize I'm alive. So I need to know what happened and who saw you."
"It was that man from the train," Kid finally answered, in a carefully neutral tone.
"When and where? What happened? Was it connected at all to a heist?" Conan asked, all business.
"It was two heists ago. It was a last minute improvisation. I had to return to the location unexpectedly after the heist, and didn't have the time to prepare anything else."
"Huh? Why? What were you doing, messing with the evidence or something?"
"Oh-ho, wouldn't you like to know~?"
Conan sighed in exasperation. "Ok, so you used my face and reputation to tamper with a crime scene and destroy some crucial evidence. Great."
"What, did you think I only used your face to rescue kittens from trees or improve your credit score? I am actually a criminal, in case you forgot," Kid replied sarcastically, all traces of his real feelings securely locked behind that teasing tone and artificial Poker Face.
Conan humphed then returned to his thoughts for a moment. "Hey, did they pinch your face when you were disguised as me?"
"Nakamori-keibu did, yes."
"So you appeared at a heist location shortly after a heist to mess with the evidence, and they're reasonably convinced that it was in fact me, on top of all the previous incidents that connect you to me," Conan summarized grimly. "This doesn't look good for either of us. Now, when did you see Bourbon?"
"We passed each other in the hall as I was leaving. He stopped and grabbed my shoulder, asking if I was really Kudou Shinichi. I said I was, and he started to say something but I cut him off and told him I was needed for an urgent case, then I left. He did try to follow me, but I lost him."
"Are you 100% certain you lost him? He's a lot smarter than he seems."
"I'm sure he's no smarter than you. And losing people is part of my job description, you know~."
Conan once again fell into a deep concentration, hand to his chin and light glinting off his glasses. The others watched him patiently, not wanting to risk interrupting his thought process. He finally straightened and stared up at Kid with determination.
"Kid, the people after me are now after you, which puts us both in incredible danger. This is more than either of us can handle on our own. What would you say to working together against them?"
Finally, at long last, Kid allowed a real emotion to show, and it was a beautiful thing, a genuine smile full of life and directed full force at Conan, who couldn't help but return it with a bright grin of his own.
"Well, what sort of gentleman would I be if I denied my favorite critic in his hour of need?" Kid replied with a grandiose sweeping hand gesture almost like a bow. "What did you have in mind?"
"Generous, aren't you?" Conan responded in what he probably hoped was a mocking tone but instead came out sincere and fond. He cleared his throat when he noticed it and resumed speaking as formally as he could manage. "First off, it would definitely be a lot harder to take down both organizations at the same time, so we need to try to keep them separate if we can. Now, the police have already been investigating the organization targeting you and come up with some leads, so if we focus our efforts on—"
"Wait." Kid held up a hand to stop him, paused for a moment to take in the information, then retreated behind the Poker Face. "What do you mean 'the organization targeting me'?"
"The organization that sends snipers after you every heist, of course. The police have already arrested several of the snipers and are gathering information on the rest of them too."
"And how do you know about this?" he asked defensively.
Conan flushed slightly at the accusation, but played it off with an arrogant smirk of his own. "I am a detective, in case you forgot. Investigating things like this is part of my job description, you know."
Kid scoffed, part in irritation and part in amusement at the absurd levels of sarcasm. "Fine, keep your secrets. It doesn't matter anyway. As far as I see it, this is a good thing. Now my heists can lure out even more shady characters for you and your little cop friends to arrest."
"No, you don't understand," Conan responded in a deathly serious tone, still frowning deeply. "Kid, the Black Organization after me is dangerous. They're far worse than the people after you. They have snipers who can hit the bullseye from six hundred yards away! They won't aim for your chest, they'll aim for your head, and they won't miss. And if they don't put a bullet through your brain, it will only be because they want to take you alive to torture you for information about me that you don't even know."
"And I suppose you have some brilliant alternative plan?" Kid snapped, unimpressed, folding his arms defensively in front of his chest.
"Not… yet. But we can come up with something! And in the meantime, you can't hold any more heists or—"
"Not an option," he interrupted curtly.
"Wh— were you not listening? These people are ruthless! I'm telling you, the next time you appear as Kid, you will be shot down and either killed or captured! That is not an option!"
"I'll take my chances."
"Don't be stupid! That's like 'taking your chances' with a guillotine! You can't do it!"
"I can do anything I want, Tantei-kun. And need I remind you, I am very good at what I do." He was nearly interrupted by more angry protests from Conan, but cut him off with a raised hand and loud firm voice. "This situation is fine. I'm not concerned about any snipers. Just be ready to arrest whoever you find at the next heist."
"It's not that simple! The most dangerous members of the organizations are the ones hardest to find and get evidence against. The snipers will be too far away to find in time, and the others won't be stupid enough to walk right up to the cops while carrying weapons, so we can't just arrest them on sight!"
"And that's where the police work comes in, which I believe is your specialty?"
"But there are things you could do too! There are other ways to fight these guys besides offering yourself up as bait!"
"What's your idea then?" Kid asked rhetorically, clearly agitated. "For me to join forces with the police? The cops are useless without my help! And, again, I'm a thief. Bad things happen to thieves who get too close to the police."
"Yeah, but..."
"I don't tell you how to do your job, so don't tell me how to do mine. My job is to drag those guys out of the shadows and into the waiting arms of the law. And I intend to continue doing my job. Now, is there anything else I should know?"
"Just..." Conan gritted his teeth and clenched his teeth, trying to deal with his frustration and worry for the idiot thief. He took a deep breath and tried again. "Don't disguise as me again under any circumstances. Lay low in your civilian life to make sure your real identity doesn't get mistaken for me too. Stay away from me and my friends, and don't come near Beika, since there's at least one of them here who watches me regularly. And don't hold any more heists or you will get shot!"
Kid scoffed. "No promises. Later, Tantei-kun," he said with a light wave as he stepped toward the back door, then disappeared in a puff of smoke. Haibara peered around the corner to make sure he was gone, then cautiously approached Conan, who was busy scowling at the ground as if it had personally insulted him.
"Idiot thief," he muttered angrily. "I won't let him hold another heist just to get himself killed! The moment he sends out a notice, I'll show up at his house and dart him!"
"Yes, that is an option," Haibara agreed dryly. "Maybe save it as a last resort, though? After you've tried, oh, I don't know, actually talking to him?"
"Huh? Come on, of course I'll try talking to him first! Sheesh, get a sense of humor," he answered defensively. Then he put a hand to his chin and began thinking out loud, "I'll have to be careful about how I approach him though. If he knows I've found his identity, he might go into hiding to avoid me. It's essential that we get him to agree to accept our help before he tries to take them all on himself."
"I will help you plan what to say to him," she told him.
"Ehhh?" he looked at her in utter bewilderment. "Uhh… why?"
"Because I'm better with people than you are, of course."
He scoffed and rolled his eyes with a fond smile. "Yeah, sure you are, Haibara. Now come on, everyone's waiting for us at my place to debrief about tonight."
—
When Haibara entered the kitchen the next morning, intending to prepare a simple healthy breakfast before heading to school like any other day, she was met instead with a frantic Agasa.
"Ai-chan, it's terrible!" he cried, waving his arms about for added drama.
"Oh? Did the automatic cereal and milk dispenser catch fire again?" she asked mildly, hiding her genuine empathy behind her usual veneer of sarcasm. She was only paying him half attention as she busied herself mixing some eggs, but she really did care. Well, she didn't care about all his silly random inventions, or the fact that they kept catching on fire somehow, but she did care that he was upset. A little, at least.
"This is serious, Ai-chan! We've been robbed!"
"Is that so?" she inquired, slightly more interested but still entirely unconcerned. "And when did this robbery occur?"
"You know when! It was that darn thief, I just know it! Oohhh, Ai-chan, what is the world coming to, when you can invite someone into your home and show them such kind and generous hospitality, and then they go and repay you by robbing you!? And I really thought he was such a good kid too, but he's betrayed us, Ai-chan! I just can't bear it! And how will I break the news to the others? Ohhh, and what will poor Shinichi think when he hears it? He'll be heartbroken, Ai-chan!"
"What did he steal then?" Haibara didn't believe for one moment that Kid had done anything to hurt them. She wasn't sure Kuroba was even capable of unkindness. But Agasa was genuinely distraught, and her curiosity was piqued, so she was content to play along.
"They're all gone! He stole all of them! Every last one! They were practically invisible with how well they were hidden, and they were all locked up, Ai-chan! It's a secure safe, one of my very own inventions, and I have the only key that I keep with me at all times, but he got to them anyway, and he stole them all!"
"Stole all of what?"
"The cookies, Ai-chan!"
Haibara nearly hit her head on the counter when she buckled over in her subsequent fit of laughter.
Author's Notes:
I think Kaito did genuinely like the cookies, but I think he also read the situation and accurately guessed about Haibara's mission to end the secret snack boxes, and he wanted to try to get on her good side.
Next Up: Ran will be a key player in the next chapter, including a section in the latter portion from her perspective.