Sasuke watches Shikamaru slide through the front entrance, then lets out one of those tired sighs.
He reaches forward to pull the report back up to his eyes, going over it seriously this time.
Noise complaint.
How did he end up here?
It's a question he asks himself often.
The answer is always the same. He's not the heir to his clan, so his duty was to the village and his clan. And the way their clan protects the village is by occupying the entirety of the police force.
Did it seem corrupt to have an entire police department run by one clan? Sure, and Sasuke's brought that up multiple times. It's never mattered, though, so here Sasuke is.
A desk jockey.
Sure, he had been on track to head the department. Until Naruto roped him into one of his crazed gambling schemes—he didn't know the area they were operating in had outlawed gambling. The Mist never seemed like the type to shy away from entertainment, how were they supposed to know gambling was illegal there? Sasuke didn't care to gamble, he only cared to keep his friend out of trouble. And even then, he had trouble caring, he only went to the Mist with Naruto at Hinata's behest to do just that.
So, when the Mizukage released them and kicked their asses back to the Leaf, Sasuke found himself behind a desk.
For months.
Smoke enters his nostrils.
"Shit!" he gasps, dropping the report he had unknowingly been sending an electrical charge to. He slams his hand over the small flame and groans. Eyes that matched his all turn to him simultaneously and he scowls at each of them. "Back to work!"
He may have been a desk jockey, but he still holds a modicum of respect for his name. The other Uchiha turn around and busy themselves as he slumps back into his seat. He brings a hand up to rub at his forehead, then looks up at the sound of a child squealing.
Ah, yes. The only thing that made this whole thing bearable.
When he got put on desk duty, he kicked the schmuck who occupied this seat out of it for the sole purpose of having the best view of the academy.
The kids he could give a damn about. Snot-nosed brats didn't interest him. No, it was their fair, dark-haired sensei he was interested in. The one who readily accepted a hug, high five, or wave from each one as they shuffled away. She always left it up to them how they would say farewell, and most opted for a generous hug.
Sasuke liked to complain that she smelled like cheese dust and grass after she got off work.
Hinata knew he was never actually annoyed, though.
So when the last child skitters off, he smirks when her head turns to face his window. Twelve on the dot.
Her form disappears and he immediately snaps his head to face the entrance, finding her already sliding her way in. He pushes all of his paperwork to the side of his desk as she saunters up, then casually plops herself atop.
"Hinata-sensei," he greets her, resting his clasped hands on his stomach as she leans over.
"Officer Uchiha," she returns, placing a kiss on his forehead. He tries to control his lips from turning into more than a teasing smile. "I saw Shikamaru. Another noise complaint?"
"Indeed," he sighs, reaching out to tap it, "another from the Hyūga compound. You need to tell your sister her parties are getting too wild."
"Oh, I do?" she asks teasingly. "Shouldn't our local police be the ones to scold her?"
"You don't want me to." He frowns, eyelids hanging low. She smiles and he thinks the way it makes his heart flutter is uncomfortable in the best way. "Shikamaru arrives with a report, you arrive with nothing. Is there no respect for the Uchiha in this village anymore?"
"Sorry," she offers, earnestly and he chuckles, "I didn't have time to pack us anything today."
Sasuke tuts and Hinata giggles. "Airhead."
She whispers, "I'm not the one who got caught gambling in the Mist."
"Hush, woman," he grunts, squinting up at her.
Her smile returns and she throws her hair over her shoulder. How she's so effortlessly captivating, he's unsure, especially when all of the other Hyūga look so terribly dull. "Besides, you'll be at Ichiraku's in…" She pulls up her wrist to check her watch. "Twenty minutes, won't you? It's Tuesday."
"That's why I'm disappointed," he responds, "because now I'll have to eat there and the idiot's going to leave me to pay."
"He's your friend," she points out, resting her weight on her hand, "you can treat him to lunch sometimes."
"Once is never enough." He shakes his head.
That giggle. "You can't resist him."
"I think that's you," he says, irritably, though he doesn't mean it. "Maybe I can do a demonstration or something for your next group. Kids like fireballs, right?"
"Of course they do," she deadpans, blinking down at him, "but not today. Don't try to weasel your way out of lunch with your best friend, Officer Uchiha. It's not professional."
"You're mean to me," he pouts, looking away. She leans down and her lips are on his cheek this time and he curses himself inwardly, knowing the contact is creating a blush without his permission.
The heart is a rude thing. Doesn't listen to the brain.
"You weasel your way out of things all the time." He reaches out for her hand and she lets him take it and guide her around the desk to pull her into his lap. Satisfaction hits him when her face goes pink now, too, as she looks around the office. No one cares, but it's not very professional, he'll admit. "Like your sex ed lessons."
"Sasuke!" she hisses, quietly, pressing a finger to his lips. He opens his mouth to bite at it and she snatches it away, now with a glare on her face. "Quit that!"
"Remember," he continues, "pinch the tip of the condom before putting it on the cucumber—"
"Enough!" she gasps out, her full hand muffling his mouth now.
He pulls away her hand, mischief in his eyes. "Sorry, the penis—"
"Alrighty!" Hinata shoots to her feet, out of his grasp, already starting to walk away.
Sasuke laughs, hurriedly grabbing his wallet and keys before jogging after her. He grabs her shoulder before she can get too far and he wraps his arms around her. She huffs irritably into his chest, but her arms still circle his torso despite it because she can't resist him. He's kind today and doesn't point that out. "I'll see you after work, sensei."
"Hmmm," she hums against him, rubbing her nose back and forth over his sternum. "If you'd still like to get out of lunch with Naruto, I suppose I do have a demonstration you could do…"
"Nope." He releases her and she lets out a little whine. "Not teaching sex ed to your brats."
"Awful," she huffs, crossing her arms as he drops a kiss on the top of her head. He smirks down at her as he pats her cheek. She sighs a bit dramatically and tilts her head up, letting him place a kiss on her lips. "See you soon."
Sasuke watches her turn and walk away and lets his gaze linger until her form disappears.
He's not corny like other guys, but he will admit it: he hates to see her go, but loves to watch her leave.
He begins his trek to Ichiraku's.
He looks in disdain as two teenagers fly by him, launching kunai at one another. Swiftly, he catches one in the air, and launches it straight at the offending teen. Almost straight at them—about a centimeter away from grazing their tender little face. It sinks into the wooden fencing behind them. They both gasp and stop, whirling around to find him with that signature glare.
"In front of a police officer? Really?" he scoffs, resting a hand on his hip.
Immediately, both fall into a deep bow. "We're so sorry, Officer Uchiha!"
"Hand 'em over." He holds out an idle hand, awaiting payment. Both teens straighten out and fish out their weapons with low grumbles of irritancy, begrudgingly depositing them into the waiting hand. Quickly, he tucks them away in a satchel and holds the last one up in front of their faces. "Send your parents to pick these up later."
"Yes, sir…"
Sasuke smirks as the two turn away, defeated. He turns, too, then has to stop himself from further reprimanding them when he hears them call him a grumpy old man. He shuts his eyes and pulls back to Hinata's kind face telling him:
"In through the mouth, out through the nose. Happy place. With me."
Yes. Happy place.
Sasuke's happy place is in the forest, preferably with a flute in hand and Hinata's lovely manner adoring him as he plays.
When he opens his eyes and finds this wretched village in front of him, he lets out a sigh.
Calm.
Of course, when he arrives at Ichiraku's, he's wholly unsurprised to find his blond, idiot best friend already halfway through his second bowl.
"Hey there, Sasuke," Teuchi greets him and he nods, "anything besides tea today?"
"Yeah," Sasuke sighs, pulling himself into the seat next to Naruto, who gives him a sloppy, mouth-full-of-food greeting that makes him cringe away. "Just a miso."
"'Sup man," Naruto gargles out and Sasuke rolls his eyes.
"Not paying," Sasuke clarifies immediately, settling on his elbows. "You're working right now, aren't you?"
"Ah." Naruto glugs down some water before slamming it back on the counter, then nods. "Got ten minutes 'til I'm back on the clock."
"Perfect," Sasuke responds, honestly. Naruto laughs.
"Any interesting cases this week?" Naruto questions before shoveling more noodles into his maw.
Sasuke clicks his tongue, accepting tea from Ayame. "Noise complaint from Hanabi's side of the compound last night."
"Oh shit, yeah," Naruto coughs out and Sasuke has to stop himself from hitting him upside the head. If he has to give him the Heimlich one more time, he'll send his Chidori right through his far too large heart (from calcification). "Konohamaru was hungover to shit this morning. Had fun landing hits to his head."
For this, Sasuke chuckles. Other's pain is always funny.
"How's Hinata?" Naruto asks just as a bowl of miso soup is set before Sasuke. Naruto lifts his bowl to slurp.
Sasuke takes a moment to bring the bowl to his mouth to blow over it. He sucks in his cheek and rests his eyes on Naruto. "Fine. The usual."
"Oh! It's February!" Naruto perks up, a grin spreading across his face. "Ohohoho, you know what that means," he continues, laughter in his voice, "sex ed!"
"Idiot," Sasuke scoffs, sipping from the bowl, "its proper name is health education."
"Oh yeah, all about health," Naruto snorts, slamming the bowl down, causing everything to titter around them. "Learn about all the essentials, right? Brain, heart, genitals—"
"I'm surprised you even know that word," Sasuke snarks, then takes a long drink of the soup.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You tell her to remember to pinch the tip of the condom?" Naruto grins, pushing his cheek into his palm as he rests his elbow on the counter.
Sasuke rolls his eyes. He'll never admit to having stolen that line from Naruto. To Naruto, or Hinata.
"Tenten."
They both look up when Ayame greets the next person walking in, or more skipping, bubbly and delightful as ever.
Sasuke scowls and Tenten beams. "Hey all!"
"Hey hey!" Naruto gives a big wave as she makes her way to the counter, a bag ready for her. Sasuke glares at her.
Is there any reason for him to? No. He just won't be bewitched like Naruto.
"Right, it's Tuesday, isn't it?" Tenten laughs as light clinking comes from her fingertips, cash deposited for the ramen.
"Aww, you got me one? Coulda just asked me out on a date directly, y'know."
Sasuke thinks the way Naruto flirts is pathetic. So does everyone else. The kid can't catch a break when it comes to women—or winning a bet. It's probably related somehow. Tsunade messed him up for the worse.
"You wish," Tenten teases lightheartedly. "You still haven't gotten me back for the ramen I got you last week."
"Oh, right…"
"Yes," Sasuke interjects, a part of the conversation he feels justified in getting in on, "and you haven't paid me back for your laundry a few days ago."
"Come to think of it," Tenten continues, tapping her chin, "he never paid you back for paying bail from the Mist, did he?"
Sasuke hadn't forgotten. He casts his glare Naruto's way, who is quickly shrinking away.
"Sasuke, buddy—" Naruto puts his hands up in defense as Sasuke rises to his feet, sharingan spinning.