A/N: Thanks to everyone leaving comments and keeping up with it! It's very motivating, especially with a varied story as weird as this one. xD

Ino Yamanaka likes to stir the pot without being in the pot herself. Everyone knows this but doesn't care because they want a piece of the action, too. No matter how 'innocent' everyone tries to pretend, no one is blameless in the game of gossip and rumors. Not even Choji, as sweet as he is.

The only person she might give a pass to is Rock Lee. But that's because he's physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of hurting others who don't deserve it.

He's the only one of them that deserves that respect.

No one else gets Ino's respect unless they willingly admit that they're just as messed up as she is.

It's probably why she keeps Sakura around. Tenten, Hinata, and Choji, too. She's just about ready to kick Shikamaru to the curb. He says he's 'tired', but Ino doesn't believe it. No one gets tired of gossip. He's a dirty liar and she tells him so. He tells her to come back when she's feeling less antagonistic, but they both know he doesn't want her to leave.

So as Ino gives a tired Itachi (also someone she knows isn't immune to the grip of gossip) a wink, she feels satisfied when she leaves the Uchiha district.

"Yamanaka."

Ah, another one she knows isn't innocent, as much as he pretends to be. "Sasuke, it's nice to see your ugly mug."

Yes, Ino will call Sasuke ugly even if she doesn't mean it. It's the only way she can justify speaking to him after years of chasing his heart, only for him to throw hers away like junk when he managed to convince Hinata to date him. He's an asshole and she realizes now that that is her type and she refuses to feel shame. She only feels shame she gave so many years of her life chasing this stupid Uchiha. There were plenty others. "Likewise. What's your business here?"

"Gods," Ino scoffs, leaning on her foot and folding her arms as she glares at him. "None of your business, asshole."

"My district, my business."

Ino hates the way that his scowl makes him prettier. "I'm in Interrogation. I go where I please."

Sasuke chuckles and it makes her glare harden. "You're not on the clock, flower girl."

Ino's ashamed to admit that nickname makes her heart flutter. Sometimes she wonders if he ever calls Hinata that. "Well, this has been a good chat," she concludes, rolling her eyes. She smirks as she adds, "pig."

Immediately, she begins skipping away, satisfied with the shocked look on his expression. She giggles to herself as she weaves through villagers on her way back to that flower shop he'd just been mocking her for. When she gets to the storefront, she pushes her way inside, the light clinking of the bells above a familiar sound. She smiles at her mother as she waves. "How did he like them?"

Ino sneers, shaking her head. "As much as someone with the emotional capacity of an Uchiha can like something like a nice arrangement of flowers."

"Oh, stop," her mother chides, shaking her head.

Ino shrugs. "Well, I'm off to investigation."

"So soon?" Ino jumps at another familiar voice, snapping her gaze up.

"Shit, Choji!" she gasps, clasping her hand over her heart. He chuckles and she shakes her head, letting him embrace her for a hug. "When'd you get back?"

"This morning," he responds, and she lets out a cough when his hug tightens to harshly. He laughs as he lets her go.

"Damnit Choji!" She shoves off of him, scowling. "How many times do I have to tell you not to crush me!"

Choji is as close to pure as one can get to Lee level pure, so Ino knows he's not doing it on purpose. He just has too much love to give. "So, I'll be there on Friday!"

"Oh, good."

Ino smiles, genuinely glad to hear it.

Her, Choji, Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata all meet for 'tea' on Fridays in Choji's restaurant before it opens, tea having a double meaning here. It's usually Ino and Sakura with the juiciest stuff, Tenten has a few things here and there, and Hinata and Choji sit quietly and absorb. Ino's fine with that because at least they can be honest about their degeneracy. Plus, on the rare occasions Hinata or Choji do come in with gossip, it's usually the juiciest thing they've ever heard. Jaw-dropping stuff.

Whenever one of them was gone on a mission or whatever it was that called them away from the village, it was always a little hollow. Especially Choji, when it was his restaurant. Just didn't feel right gathering for gossip in his restaurant while his dad works in the back to get it set up. Ino's tried inviting Choza to the tea session, but he's never interested.

Just another dirty liar.

"Come get your flowers, Cho," her mother beckons him and he nods.

"For the new restaurant?" she questions as he pulls from her.

"Only the finest flowers in the Leaf for my establishments," Choji declares, eagerly. She smiles at him. He really is a gem compared to the rest. "See you Wednesday!"

Ino waves as she exits, saying an I love you to both he and her mother, then heads to the Hokage tower.

She always gets there early to do water cooler chat. Her shifts are towards the middle of the day when everyone is having a break (her shifts go into the night) and getting here early ensures she can listen in on anything interesting.

Today, she finds Sakura and Shino standing next to each other, tensely.

That's another thing their terrible graduating class had in common: weird relationships she'll never understand. How Sakura ended up with Shino remained a mystery, but Ino's pretty sure Sakura got too drunk one night, and when Shino was kind enough to help her home, she jumped his bones. Sakura refuses to admit to it. It was one of those sad girl nights when they were bitching to each other about Sasuke and how disgustingly happy he and Hinata were. The only time they could freely complain about it was when they were alone together because the one thing this stupid village agrees on is that Sasuke and Hinata's relationship is untouchable of gossip.

Not to Ino, though. Never to Ino. So yes, Sakura is her closest confidant for that.

Anyway, now here they are, locked in some sort of argument.

"What are you two doing here?" Ino pulls their attention, landing behind Sakura and digging her chin into her shoulder blade. Sakura shrugs her off and rolls her eyes.

"Turning in evidence from our mission," Sakura clarifies, giving Shino the side eye, "and trying to figure out dinner."

"You seem angry, dear forehead," Ino teases, glancing up at Shino, who remains stoic, unwavering gaze forward.

"Because he won't pick! He keeps saying 'whatever you want' but it's never what I want!" Sakura sighs dramatically and Ino pinches the side of her stomach. Sakura squeaks and shoves her hand away.

"I've never said no before to your requests," Shino responds, quietly, and Ino looks back at Sakura.

"Shino is picky," Sakura continues to talk about him as if he's not there, "no matter what I choose, he never eats it. He ends up eating something later in secret."

Ino laughs, loudly. That sounds ridiculous. Shino sighs. "That's not always true."

"It always is!"

"That is an extreme thing to say. Why? Because it's—"

"Why? Why? Why?" Sakura's voice goes nasally and Ino frowns. She reaches up to close Sakura's nose shut, who promptly glares at her. "Let go, pig."

"Stop being ridiculous, billboard head," Ino snaps back. Even she has to feel some amount of sympathy for Shino, even if he is a strange, strange man.

"You're just lonely, and jealous." Sakura's voice comes out nasally as she folds her arms and Ino snickers at it.

"That's right, turn your anger on me." Ino grins a toothy grin with a wink. "Project onto me more."

"You're such a bitch."

"Mhm," Ino agrees easily, releasing her nose finally. She slaps her hands on each of their shoulders and Shino winces with raised eyebrows. "Go get soba. It's Shino's favorite, and the soba shop next to the dojo—"

"Which one?" Both Shino and Sakura interrupt her.

Ino bites back a laugh. "The one next to Sunny's. It's got the creamery next door so you can get dango afterward."

"That sounds acceptable." Shino nods and Ino smiles as Sakura grabs at his sleeve to yank him behind her.

"See you Friday!" Ino calls playfully.

Neither of them gives her a response, but she figured they wouldn't anyway. She meanders over to the break room to prepare herself tea. As she brings it up to her lips, she shuts her eyes and searches for Sakura's chakra signature. When she locates it, she invades her mind, as she's so prone to do.

I've always wondered, are the rumors true about the Aburame?

She waits for a moment before Sakura's irritated voice rings in her head.

What the hell are you doing—wait, what rumors?

You know. The ones about their…

You're disgusting. GET OUT.

Ino feels pressure on her temples. Sakura's become incredibly good at forcing her out of her mind.

She sighs, sadly as she looks into her tea. Ever since Sakura started dating Shino, she's been no fun.

And to top it all off, there was no one here. Just her luck.

Or perhaps it is luck. She closes her eyes once more and searches again…

Shika…

She smiles as she senses him perk up. She can hear Lee going on in the background about visiting the Gaara in the Sand for a 'friendly competition.' She can almost feel the stress levels in Shikamaru spike.

What is it?

Meet me in the janitor's closet on the 2nd floor in five minutes?

Make it two.

Ino giggles, popping her eyes back open. She figures she'll be nice, today, and give him some stress relief. She has a few minutes to spare, anyway.

A/N: Thus ends the day one arc. I cannot promise each day will be five chapters, but I can promise every character will (likely) get their own chapter at some point.

On another note, because I think writing sex as part of relationships is important, you can check out the other work connected to this "Cooler Than You". It will be the smut chapters, essentially. Every day ends with one person, and they get their smut chapter in that separate work. I wanted to keep this rated T, and those aren't mandatory reading, but they are fun. Thanks.